Dear Mols
I know you're going to be angry at me for getting this letter from me for a couple of reasons.
One, you think I should have written it to my Mam. Don't sweat it, I did write one to her! I wrote this one and gave it to the padre to put into headquarters for me. Turns out you can write as many of these things as you want. You know they're "held until required". But I also stuck another note for Mam in my "personal effects" so when she unpacks it all, she'll find it. One thing about Mams is they always find the stuff (porn, fags, etc) we don't want 'em to find. Besides she had one "from beyond" already, I really don't want her getting another. It was one of the things I hated most about Geraint being killed.
Speaking of Mam, could you maybe go see her and talk to her about me. All the things we did, saw and talked about here in Afghan. She would like to know that I had a proper mate like you while I was here. I know Bossman will write a letter and be at the funeral but I think he may be batting zero with her, if she has lost both of us on his watch.
Second, is that I've gone and died on you. I know I'm a right prannit (you never did tell me what that means!) I told you that I'd be there for you and now I've fucked that up as well. But I truly meant it, that I'd be there, always, for you. I didn't mean to die on you. I promised myself that I would get you home safe to your family and we'd do that trip to Vegas. Obviously, it wasn't meant to be. Mam's premonition an' all.
And for a third thing, I know that me telling you that I love you made things a bit hard for a while between us. You really weren't happy about me telling you or the break it caused. If I could change anything, besides you know, texting or calling you after that night behind the take away, it would be that.
I wouldn't have just blurted it out like I did. I should have waited, been patient, and been more romantic about it. I don't know how, you made me throw my last romantic gesture into the bin. Maybe I should have waited 'til we were home again and you were in Newport with the ring.
But I should probably say that I would change the whole dying thing as well. I hope Mols that I died saving you dunno from what but something. If I did then know that I've died happy, that I was looking out for you just like I said I would.
Lastly, that it wasn't your fault. It was my choice to look out for you and I know you would've tried to do everything you could to save me. You'll be blaming yourself for this and being angry at yourself and the world. You'd be thinking you'd done it once, you should be able to do it again but we know that it don't work like that Mols. As Bossman says, it's all down to Lady Luck.
Lady Luck blessed me by letting Private Molly Dawes save my life once, by swinging off a winch shoving her hand in a bullet wound so I wouldn't bleed out. And then Lady Luck blessed me again by making Molly Dawes my best mate, always.
I love you Molly, with all my heart. I can say that now, you can't stop me.
Love
Smurf