The Letter

by Suze21

These are the "from beyond the grave" letters that Molly, Smurf and Captain James have written. This is my first fanfict for "Our Girl" and it was supposed to be a one-shot but has turned into something more. I don't own anything in the "Our Girl" universe, I only wish I did as Capt James would be on loan to the Oz Army, permanently!

4. Chapter 4

Dear Bossman

I can call you whatever I like, it's my letter and your bleedin' well not goin' to read it anyway as I'll always, always, come back to you. Just like I did in Afghan with your bloody coffee. I 'ad to make sure that you would be a fully functioning soldier after all.

The most important thing I need to tell you is that I love you. I never thought that you could look at a girl like me, let alone actually love me, a cockney that barely went to school. An' you with your manners, 'n schooling 'n good looks, not to mention bein' an officer, you could 'ave anyone, certainly some one much better 'n me. But you have made me happier than I have ever been and I hope that I done the same for you.

I know I didn't make a very good first impression the day I joined the Under 5s. But with your posh accent the word 'cockwombles' didn't fit comin' out your mouth. I just got the giggles but I think I kept most of them inside 'cept for the massive smile on my gob which I just couldn't hide. I felt like a right prat, I can tell you, 'specially after you put me in my place. It stung a bit and all.

Thank heavens for Smurf though. He really helped me that day. And a few more days after that as well. Me and him spending time together when we was home was the biggest help. Nobody else really understood what it was like there, so we stayed together and looked after each other. I'm sorry it made you snarky but nothing 'appened. He was just me mate. If Smurf hadn't got himself shot and I hadn't gone up on the winch to the helio, would you 'ave changed your mind about me?

I knew you had the day you asked me to get the coffee for you. You held my hand so gentle, your thumb rubbing across my knuckles and you looked into my eyes. Felt like I was drownin' in them eyes an' you know I can't swim! And then you said "Come back to me." Not "Come back to us" or "Afghan" but "me". And I said "I will. Don't worry." Then Kinders interrupts, I could 'ave killed him.

There's a couple of things I need you to do for me. Last requests as it is.

Keep in touch with all the lads from 2 Section. You'll need 'em for a while, I reckon. I did when it all went to shit with you an' Smurf. They helped me and they'll help you too!

I want some of my money to be used to help Bashira go to school 'n' that. I've put Qaseem's details in the letter so you can fix it up with him. The rest needs to be put aside for the kids to go to school or University even, one's bound to be smarter than me an' want to go. Don't let me Dad get his hands on it.

I've put it in the letter to Mum, that you are to take anything you want from my kit. You may want your letters back or some of our photos. You could even take my West Ham strip if you want.

Finally, you're to live your life. For you and Sam, that bleedin' cheeky beggar, tell him I loved him even though I didn't get to spend time with him because I love his Dad. So don't sit 'round bein' sad, get on with things!

So Charles (and yes I am smirking) ;-) the very, very last thing is to tell you again, that I love you. I could never have done any of this without your love, support and your strength to let me go an' finish this journey. I've never had anyone believe in me the way you do. Lady Luck really did smile on me the day I ended up in the Under 5s.

I love you,

Your girl

Molly