Author's note

As always, thank you so much to everyone who has read/followed/reviewed/favourited this story so far, or liked/reblogged it on Tumblr! It means so much to get your feedback. Please do keep telling me what you think, it really inspires me! :)

Continuing the angsty feels of the last chapter while seeing Sybil x Tom's situation from a new POV, someone who wants to help them get through this almost as much as I do!

Chapter 18 - A friend in need

"I must have been so stupid
I must have been so out of touch"

"Matthew, she's been in there for nearly a week now, listening to that damn song. She hasn't eaten, I don't think she's slept. What do I do?"

Since her flight from their home, Sybil hadn't seen or spoken to Tom, or to anyone apart from her sister. Mary had helped her all she could, calling the hospital to let them know Sybil needed some personal leave and lending her sister some essentials until she was able to retrieve her belongings.

But there was nothing Mary could do to stop the pain Sybil was feeling, and Matthew could see how much she wanted to do something, anything, to help.

"I honestly don't know, Mary. Has she told you anything, anything at all about what happened?" He took Mary's hand and led her to the couch in their living room. She turned to him, a worried look on her face.

"She just told me it was over, and that she never wants to see Tom again. I've got no idea what he did, but whatever it was, I'll never forgive him for it. Doesn't he know how much she loves him? God, I could murder him for this."

"Sweetheart, I know, I know." He ran his thumb across her knuckles. "But to be fair to Tom, there is his side of the story, none of us knows that. There may be an explanation for everything."

"Sybil is all that matters to me, Matt. If she doesn't want to see him again, that's it as far as I'm concerned."

"I get that, I do. It's just that – well, Tom is a friend, I've known him for a couple of years and he's a really good man. He absolutely adores Sybil! I know he'd never do anything to hurt her deliberately."

He scratched his head and reached for his glass of wine. "I can't help thinking that somewhere at the heart of this is some big misunderstanding, and if we could just put that right…"

"Matt, please don't. We can't meddle in this. All we can do is look after Sybil and help her get through it."

"I understand how you feel, sweetheart. I feel caught in the middle of all this – your sister, my friend, both in such pain – and if there's something I can do to help, I want to do it. Is that all right with you, if I try?"

"Well, I trust you, love. If you really feel you need to talk to Tom about it, I understand. But you have to promise me one thing. You can't bring him here, or try and trick Sybil into talking to him if she doesn't want to. It's her decision."

"Of course, love – I promise you that." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, then got up. "I'll put the kettle on – maybe she'd like a cup of tea."

"He must have been so clever
Convincing me that this was really love"

"Tom, oh darling…"

They opened the door to find Sybil had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. She was tossing and turning, murmuring Tom's name, and her arms were reaching out for something, or someone.

Putting down the cup of tea on the bedside table, Mary gently put her hand on Sybil's shoulder to wake her. Her sister opened her grief-swollen eyes and tears started flowing down her cheeks again when she realised where she was.

"Mary, oh God, please don't let me sleep again. I can't bear being asleep. It's hard enough being awake and thinking about him all the time, but when I sleep I can feel him too. He's all around me, he's inside me…"

Sybil's sudden blush and the way her hand flew to cover her mouth left Mary and Matthew in no doubt as to what she meant. Matthew tried to ease her embarrassment –

"Sybil, hey don't worry, I think Mary and I both know you and Tom did more than hold hands!"

A memory came into his mind of a night Sybil and Tom had come round to their place for dinner, and of how he had blundered in on the two of them, doing much more than hold hands, in the guest bathroom. He felt his cheeks reddening too - Mmm, I never told Mary about that!

Sybil sipped at her tea. The agony writ large on her face renewed Matthew's resolve to try and do something to help. But what?

"Desperate for words, lost in a maze
It fell apart, I lost my place
It hurt so bad, I cried for days"

On the way to work the next day, Matthew heard his phone beep – it was Tom.

Will you meet me for a drink later? I'm going crazy here.

He hesitated a little then, remembering his discussion with Mary last night, he decided he had to try and find out the truth, for all their sakes.

OK, a couple of beers would be good. Where do you want to meet?

The Mitre in the City, I'll be there by seven. Thanks Matt.

Later that evening, Matthew walked into the pub and looked around. He saw Tom in the corner, looking out the window, an untouched pint in front of him.

When Matthew arrived at the table, Tom looked up. "Tom, you look bloody awful."

"Well that's better than I feel, anyway." Tom pushed his hand back through his hair and Matthew could clearly see the shadows of despair on his face.

"Have you had any sleep since…"

"What do you think?" The frustration in his voice was clear. "Sorry, mate, didn't mean to snap."

"Not to worry, you're going through a tough time."

"A tough time? That's classic English understatement for you. I'm in seven kinds of hell right now, Matt!"

"What happened, exactly?"

"I need to talk to Sybil first. Something's happened … well, if I could just get fifteen minutes with her, I could explain everything!"

A tear traced down Tom's cheek and he roughly brushed it away.

"Please, Matt, I'm begging you. I can't lose her, I can't. She's the love of my life, nothing means anything without her. I was going to ask her to marry me, for God's sake! I love her, I love her so fucking much…"

His voice tailed away and he put his head in his hands. Matthew leaned across the table to touch his shoulder, and Tom looked up at him. His tormented eyes aroused a spark of pity in Matthew.

"I'll try, Tom. I can't promise anything. Sybil has already told Mary she never wants to see you again, and Mary's guarding her like a Rottweiler. She can't bear to see her hurt like this."

"I'd never do anything to hurt her, you have to believe me. If I can just talk to her, just once, to explain."

"I'll see what I can do."

"How many times can my heart break
Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love?"

"Matthew, are you sure? I mean, Sybil was pretty clear there was no way back from this. Do you really think it's the right thing?"

"Mary, I'm absolutely sure, I have to ask her to speak to him, at least. You should have seen him, love. He is as gutted as Sybil over this, I'm convinced he means every word when he says he can explain everything."

"Well, all right. Let's try. Only once, mind you. If she says no, that's it."

They walked over to the door of their spare room and Mary knocked.

"Sybil, darling? Can we come in?"

Sybil was out of bed. She was sitting in a chair by the window, wrapped in blankets, staring without seeing at the sleet streaming down the glass that mirrored the tears lying unnoticed on her cheeks.

"What is it, Mary?"

Mary sat on the arm of the chair, putting her arm around Sybil's shoulder and squeezing it.

"Sybil, Matthew has something to ask you."

"Matthew has… Tom! Do you mean you spoke to him, behind my back!"

Her eyes flashed fire but there was enough anguish behind it to lead Matthew on.

"Sybil, I met up with Tom tonight. He's – well, there's no easy way to say this. He's broken by what happened, he's begging you to talk to him. He says he can explain everything, and I believe him."

More tears spilled from Sybil's eyes, and Matthew couldn't help but remember the same moment with Tom earlier as she dashed them away, angrily.

"Matthew, I can't, I just can't see him again…"

Mary interrupted – "Sybil, I have to ask. What happened? What did Tom do that made you leave him? Come on, darling – you might as well tell us, you know we're on your side, we only want to help you."

Sybil felt her stomach protest. She wasn't sure if she could say the words that had been scratching through her brain like a broken record without being sick.

"We got home the other night and I went upstairs first. There was a woman there, Edna, she works with him, and she just said, as calm as you please, 'Where's Tom? He's my baby's father.'"

Matthew's face went pale. "Tom – he did what? Sybil, are you sure? Are you sure it wasn't some big mistake? Tom loves you, you know that, he would never…"

"Matthew, you weren't there. I know it's true, I can't bear to believe it either, but it's true."

He leaned towards her and spoke urgently, stumbling over his words.

"Sybil, please, listen to me. I know it looks bad, it looks terrible, but Tom swears he can explain everything. Won't you give him a chance? Do you really want to throw away what you two have? Because I can tell you, he's absolutely crazy about you, he was going to…" He stopped, aware that he had been about to reveal something he shouldn't.

"He was going to what?" bit out Mary.

"I guess it doesn't matter now. He was going to propose to you, Sybil. He wants to marry you."

When Sybil heard this, she broke down into rasping sobs, her head falling into Mary's lap, her body shivering as if from a fever. Mary stroked Sybil's hair and made soothing noises, looking up at her fiancé and shaking her head.

"No more, Matthew, can't you see she can't stand it? Let it go, please."

Matthew nodded – for now, at least, he could see there wasn't any more he could do. But there might be one more chance to get them talking.

"Will I ever get there or am I drowning in quicksand?"

"Hello? Can I speak with Gwen Dawson please?"

"Speaking, who's this?"

"Gwen, this is Matthew Crawley. You might not remember me, we met at Tom Branson's birthday party a few months ago? I'm engaged to Sybil's sister."

"Matthew… oh yes, Matthew! Hi, how are you?"

"I'm all right, thanks, how about you?"

"Pretty well, thanks. What's up?"

Matthew cleared his throat. "Gwen, I wonder if you've spoken to Tom recently? Since it all – well, since he and Sybil split up."

"Ohhh, yes I saw him a couple of nights ago. He's completely devastated, hardly said a word all night. Do you know what happened?"

"Tom says it's a big misunderstanding, and that he can explain everything…"

"What's on your mind, Matthew?"

"Gwen, I'll come straight out with it. Will you try and talk to Sybil? I really think this can all be sorted out if she will just agree to let Tom see her."

"You want me to ask Sybil … we are friends, but I'm not that close to her. Wouldn't it be better if you or her sister said something?"

"We've tried, she won't listen to me. I know it's a lot to ask, and I'd totally understand if you said no."

"I'll think about it. Let me talk to Tom, I wouldn't want to do anything without him knowing."

"Of course. Would you mind letting me know what you decide?"

"Sure, I'll text you once I speak to him." She paused, then spoke again.

"I hope you're right, Matthew. Tom and I have been friends since college, and I've never seen him like this. Not just now - when he was with Sybil, too. They were just so – they glowed, do you know what I mean? When they were together, they had this aura around them, this golden thing, like they were so in love, the world couldn't touch them. I'd hate them to lose that if there is a way to fix this."

"Gwen, I do know what you mean, I've seen it too. I would be so grateful if you felt you could do this for them."

"I'll let you know."

"All alone in comfort
It's my solitude I will embrace"

The next evening, Matthew got a text from Gwen.

OK, you're on. Planning to pop round in about half an hour.

He put his phone back into his pocket and crossed his fingers as he walked across the room to where Mary and Sybil were sitting on the couch, feet curled up, sipping tea.

He sat down in the easy chair and picked up the remote. "OK with you both if I put on the football?"

They murmured assent and the silence was broken by the blaring theme song of Match of the Day. About twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang.

Matthew leapt out of his chair as if he were sitting on a spring. "I'll get it!" He opened the door and smiled to see Gwen waiting outside. They exchanged a few whispered words before he turned back. "Sybil? Someone to see you."

Sybil looked up, alarm on her face. "Me? Who… oh Gwen, hi, it's nice to see you. Come in."

Gwen wrapped Sybil in a hug she wasn't expecting, causing a fresh flood of tears to fall down her cheeks. "Sybil, can I talk to you? Just for a minute, and then I'll go, I promise."

Sybil nodded, and Gwen sat down on the edge of the table, twisting her hands together.

"Sybil, we've become friends over the last few months, and I hope you know I care about you. I wanted to ask you to think about letting Tom come to see you…"

"No! I can't, Gwen, he's broken my heart, can't you see that? Seeing him would just be too painful."

"Hear me out, Syb. I've seen him, spoken to him. He's as broken hearted as you are, losing you has just … well, I've never seen him like this before. He told me, and I believe him, that he can explain everything, if you would just meet him for a few minutes. Please, Sybil? Won't you think about it? Seeing you, and seeing him, and knowing how perfect you two are for each other, I want to ask you to think about it, please. Don't give up on him, don't give up on your love, not without a fight."

Matthew couldn't help chiming in. "Sybil, you know I only want to help. I asked Gwen to come around tonight, I hate to see what both of you are going through right now. If you just give him a few minutes, and then you still don't want to see him after he says his piece, that will be it, but at least you will know."

Sybil squeezed her eyes shut, a tear trickling from beneath her lashes as she dropped her head. Mary looked over at Gwen and Matthew, shaking her head and mouthing "No more, OK?" when Sybil looked back up.

In a husky voice fraught with heartbreak, she said – "Well, since both you and Matt are convinced it's the right thing, Gwen, I'll give him a few minutes."

Gwen smiled and took her hand, nodding at Matthew and then the door. He crossed the room to open it, revealing Tom standing outside, hesitating on the threshold.

"Tom? You can come in. She'll talk to you…"

"I will rise from the sorrow…"

A/N -

Sorry for the cliffhanger! Tom's story will be the next update, and I will try to post that soon. (I always thought that Matthew was a Sybil x Tom shipper!)

This chapter has a music cue – Natalie Walker, "Quicksand" (Thievery Corporation remix). You can find it on youtube and I've quoted the lyrics throughout. Have a listen - can't you imagine it on endless repeat on Sybil's iPod as she goes through this?