"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby; awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess"

-Lemony Snicket

BPOV

Ughhhhh. I hate him so much.

I apologized so, so many times and yet, he had the nerve to scream at me like that. He is possibly the prettiest dickhead that I'll ever meet in my entire life and I still didn't know what his goddamn problem was.

And to top it all off, Alice and Jasper had to drop the bomb that he was Jasper's brother. If they hadn't interrupted, I would have possibly committed murder.

That bastard...

What was his name again? Oh yeah, Edward….. Kinda old fashioned but it had a nice ring to it, Edward Cullen, mmmmmm.

I was currently sitting next to my mom while she chatted to my dad about the wedding. Alice and Jasper were nowhere to be seen.

Ugh, I would bet a hundred dollars on what they're up to alone.

Nope, really uncomfortable mental images are all I got from thinking about that.

And guess who I'm left with; the freakin' dickhead, who currently sat opposite to me, huffing into his phone. Every few seconds, he would glare at me and then look back down, scowling. God, why did I even agree on this trip?

"Edward, how are you son?" asked my dad.

"I'm fine Charlie, how is your fishing project going?" the douche replied, smiling at him as if he wasn't the most infuriating person that he was acting like just a few moments ago.

"Oh please honey, don't get him started!" groaned my mom, as we looked at one another in annoyance.

"Well….!" Charlie shot up and leaned forward, starting to ramble to an amused Edward.

My dad had just recently started on this project, where he and Jacob's dad, Billy, decided to go fishing back home and bring back large amounts of fish. It was kinda like a ceremony of sorts, where we would all cook the fish together and have a barbecue back home.

"Edward dear, why don't you go freshen up? Then we can go eat" smiled my mom, as she rubbed his hair affectionately.

"Bella, please go and show him his room," said my mom nodding towards him.

"Why should I? Doesn't he have legs and don't they work?" I glared at him while he sat there looking back at me pissed.

Humph, serves him right, the way he's been.

"Now young lady, Edward is a guest and you should treat him with respect! Now go show him his room before i smack you" tutted my mom.

The bastard smirked at me before proceeding to stand up, and I begrudgingly followed muttering, under my breath.

"Don't smirk at me Ass-ward" I mumbled to myself

"What was that ?" he asked, looking down at me

"Oh I'm sorry didn't you hear me? I said don't smirk at me Ass-ward" I responded sarcastically.

"Oh I will Bitchella" he smirked.

"Bitchella, really?" Ha was that all he could come up with? Pathetic.

"Well, I don't think Ass-ward is really that impressive," he shrugged, checking his phone.

"Here's your room idiot and don't come near mine," I said while pointing to my room which was, unfortunately, opposite his.

"Wasn't planning to woman," he scoffed, before retreating into his room and slamming the door shut.

Ugh, he does have some nerve. If he wasn't so gorgeous, I would've smacked him so hard that he would've gone back to whatever hole he crawled out of.

Suddenly my phone rang interrupting me from my ramblings.

"BELLAAA!" screamed a very familiar voice in my ear.

"Emmet! Where are you, you idiot? We've already arrived and you still haven't shown up, Alice is going mental!" I laughed into my phone.

"What can I say Bellybean? I'm a very busy man. I just finished my training contract with some lanky celebrity, and Good God! Was he a piece of work!" he grumbled.

Emmett was my annoyingly loud and boisterous cousin brother and my mom's sister Ruby's eldest son. He was like my own brother and I loved him to bits. He was always busy but we never forgot to keep in touch.

"Ugh, Emmett, why do you never get any of the hot ones?" I huffed into my phone with a grin, it had been about a week since we last spoke and I already missed him.

"I'm sorry Bella but my job is to make them hot, and if you saw Tom Holland before his transformation with me, you would cry yourself to sleep" he laughed.

Emmett was a personal trainer. He wasn't really interested in training celebrities but he liked to have control over them and have a laugh. He enjoyed it so much that this was his twelfth celebrity and me, being the amazing charmer I am, got to meet most of them.

"Don't tell me I don't want to know," I told him.

"Anyway, hows the wedding prep going? Are Eddie and Jazz there yet?"

"How does everyone know this 'Eddie' apart from me?" I spoke.

"Well if you didn't skip some of the family trips you would have. And I'm pretty sure I've mentioned him to you before," he said in a weird tone.

"Oh, you mean the funny, charming man that I should totally bang?" If that was the description Emmett gave me of him, then it was pretty far off.

"Oh, so you have met him? What do you think" he chuckled.

"I think he is a nasty piece of work, a beautiful one yes, but a nasty piece of work," I grumbled at the thought of our morning encounter.

"Oh no, what happened? Should I beat him up?" Emmet spoke in a worried tone.

"Emmet I know you like him too much with the way your speaking and no please don't. I don't want you to get sent to jail for murder, one of your punches and he will die," I told him, although I was contemplating the idea.

I then proceeded to tell him all about our very 'unusual' meeting, he was howling with laughter at the end of it.

"Oh Bella…" he gasped to catch some breath "Only you could do such a thing, no wonder he's pissed"

"Oh, so it's my fault now? I told you I apologised to him, but he still went on about how much of a bitch I am, ugh, he annoys me so much and it's only been one day" I yelled at him, trying to emphasize my point.

"Calm down Bells, you know how things are, don't give him such a hard time" he muttered.

"Okay fine, but if he comes at me again I won't sit back"

"So tell me how planning is going "

"Well it's Alice soooo, this is gonna be a grand wedding, that's for sure. She won't settle for anything other than the wedding of the century, anyway when are you arriving?" I asked him while I grabbed some pasta to eat.

"Well, I'm planning to arrive tomorrow night with Tyler if he's around." he replied with a monotone voice.

"Oh yeah, how's university going for him?"

Tyler was Emmett's little brother and the exact opposite of him, he's a very mature little boy who could hold a deep conversation with you for hours.

He's always coming up with these awkward phases and he was some goth the last time I saw him. Oh, how much mom and aunt Ruby worry about him, it's almost comical.

"Oh he's an idiot, he was sulking because he had to leave his latest hippie group to come to the wedding, but it's okay, at least he'll make some friends for once."

"Okay, well tell him to come quickly because if he's not coming, Alice might finally go fully berserk," I laughed loudly at the thought.

"Look Bells, I gotta go, I need to go work out,"

"More working out? You're already the size of a wrestler. Anyway I'll come to pick you up, just call me when you get here, love you."

"Love you too Bells." he said, I could practically picture his wide grin from over here.

After I finished my pasta, I went to get another serving the hungry idiot I am, and Edward was standing against the counter polishing off the last of it.

Hmmm, he has a very nice ass.

No, no no no. Cut it out, Bella.

"Hey, that's my pasta! " I yelled at him and walked over to see him shrug at me, his eyes bright with amusement.

"Does it say it's your pasta? And even if it was it doesn't taste very good?" he smirked, trying to get a rise out of me, and it was working.

"What do you mean it wasn't very good? You just ate all of it, you liar," I said nodding towards the empty saucepan.

"Well, that's because I was hungry" he smiled sarcastically before leaving.

"Ughhhhh " I stomped my foot on the floor like a child, "At least wash up asshole!" I yelled at his retreating form.

"No thanks," He said nonchalantly waving a hand behind him before fully disappearing.

I really hope he doesn't end going home in a coffin by the end of the trip

"Edward! Can you please slow down!" I screamed at him as he swerved to another person who was already cursing loudly at us.

"It's my car and I'll do as I damn well please to!" he shouted at me while revving it, you even more. "Also why the hell did you ask to come with me i thought my feelings for you were pretty clear after our shouting match this morning?"

"Well I needed to see Emmet so shut up and drive" I yelled while desperately clinging onto my seatbelt, certain that we'd crash.

"Don't tell me to shut up," He told me as he continued driving.

"What if I do?"

"I cannot deal with you right now" he huffed irritatedly.

"Edward if you don't slow down I will ram your head into the steering wheel"

"Bitch, try me,"

"Oh I will Jerkward,"

"Wow, just wow that's even worse than Ass-ward"

"Yeah well you got anything better asshole?"

"Oh that is it, Bitchella, I've had it!" he growled, shaking his head.

This morning, I was planning to go pick up Emmett with Jasper but, guess what? The lovely couple decided to stay in bed and threw a lamp at me when I tried to wake them up, so my very bad example of a mother decided to shove me into the car with Edward.

We finally arrived and stepped out of the car, this heat was doing me well, at the least I'll get a tan now, with how pale I am. My shorts were kinda too short and my hair was piled up in a bun.

Not going to lie but Assward cleaned up really well. He was in a pair of jeans and a blue polo shirt. He managed to look very sexy in these, and most of the women around us thought so too.

This one blonde was eyeing him up like he was a piece of candy and he was drinking it up like the arrogant ass he was.

"I'll be back, just tell me when he's here," he said barely looking at me and strutting towards the girl.

"Hey, gorgeous.." I heard as they trailed off to god knows where.

What in the world was that? Does he have no consideration for me at all?

It's not that I'm jealous or anything but its really annoying when he just walks off with someone else, I would have been a lot more conscious if he didn't a)act like a self-absorbed bastard, b)like random air headed bimbos, and c) wasn't just annoying as fuck.

I trudged towards the inside of the airport and the air conditioning instantly cooled me as I looked around to find the terminal Emmett was arriving in.

I spotted number four and hurried forward to the first class section and waited.

Finally, after about five minutes, the passengers started to arrive and walk out slowly. Edward appeared besides me and he seemed to be texting fast into his phone. Good, the more we ignore each other the better, I looked around to see a fat lady wearing about a million beads and bangles were walking towards the exit

Wow, she has more jewellery on her than Tyler did during that fortune teller phase of his.

And just then a loud voice interrupted my ongoing observation.

"Tyler, can you please stop chasing me, I will fuck you up man," whooped Emmet as he whizzed past me being chased by a grinning Tyler, who was weirdly dressed in a swirly pink tye dye shirt and a pair of drawstring pants that were way too loose on him.

I could almost picture was going to happen right now, it was like everything was going in slow motion as I saw Emmet charge into the lady from before and landed on top of her, his bulky body crushing her from above.

Next to him was a frozen Tyler, who skidded to a halt flinging his arms around in a circle, before he could squash the poor woman as well.

And opposite them, were me and Edward, horrified and mouths open, looking between the three of them.

"Oh my god!" I yelled as I shoved past the people with a laughing Edward right on my heels.

"Do you honestly think this is funny?" I snapped at him

"Oh can you stop being so uptight all the time" he countered back, his eyes sparking with amusement.

"Only with you idiot," I told him before turning my attention back to the lady, who a groaning Emmett was getting off of.

"Guys, I don't think she's breathing…." groaned a huffing Emmet with the lady's head in his hand, her mouth was lolled to one side and she seemed to be drooling.

It was not a pretty sight and Edward seemed to agree, judging by the grossed out face he was pulling.

"What have you done" moaned Tyler, as we all glared at a guilty Emmet.

Hey guys sorry about the repetition i have fixed the problem, and also i would like to say that do not take this story too seriously and please do not try to correct me or change my story, like honestly its not too difficult to stop reading it rather than filling my reviews with hate, even my beta is getting attacked, and the only solution to you guys problem is to just stop, if you have any critisism put it nicely rather than calling it 'crap'.