AN: Enjoy the chapter! As always, read and review! And May the Force Be With You.

Disclaimer: Belongs to George Lucas.

CHAPTER 19

Charlie was sitting in a chair that was much too comfy to be conducive to any good work. She was in the archives, surrounded by holos, and trying her damnedest to find any information on her family. She had just come back from lunch, and had the entire afternoon to herself, barring any council activity.

It had been a week since Obi-Wan and Anakin had left for Janulik. She wished as soon as Obi-Wan had left that she'd gone with him. But, as she had to continually remind herself, the two Jedi were more than qualified, and if there was anything to find, they would find it.

She spent her meals with Padmé, discussing the senator's pregnancy and how she was worried about Anakin. Charlie didn't speak so boldly on the topic, but she was worried for both of them. The force was giving her nudges, as if it knew something bad was going to happen. Typically, the force was right. But Charlie couldn't be sure that it wasn't referring to her budding relationship with Obi-Wan, and not their mission. She didn't mention it.

Charlie shook her head, trying to escape from the reverie and focus back on her work. She had been making progress trying to discover where her parents had been taken. Obi-Wan and Anakin had been sending back progress reports with useful information, and the council had passed this onto her. They'd found her old home and the market that she used to visit, all decimated. There were remnants of droids and the bodies of fallen citizens of the planet.

What they hadn't found was any evidence that her family was still on the planet. She hadn't thought it likely that they would still be there, but was nonetheless disappointed. That report had been the last time she'd heard from the council. Since then she'd been eating, sleeping, and researching. The desperate drive to find her family fueled her late night sessions in the archives, only stop when Jocasta Nu threw her out for the night.

Charlie spent the majority of the afternoon staring at holo screens until her eyes crossed. She knew sort of what she was looking for, but it was hopeless to look for it through holo research. It simply wouldn't be in the Jedi library.

Charlie sighed in frustration, tossing yet another holo to the side, and leaning back in her soft chair, totally out of ideas.

She let the frustration drains from her body and entered a half-dream, half-force controlled state. She explored the confines of her force signature, looking deeply into what she remember, hoping against hope that she could find something to help her family.

She was surprised when she found a spot she didn't recognize. It was either a memory she'd forgotten or something the force had placed there for her to find. Either way, she wanted to know what it was.

Lightly, she poked it. The memory immediately washed over her, bringing sharp pain and heart-stopping fear, but mostly abject despair. It was like the memory had given up.

Charlie looked around in the memory, willing herself not to succumb to the emotions. Wherever she was, it was dusty and brown. Charlie realized she couldn't move side to side. Couldn't turn her head, couldn't take a step. The only way she could go was back out of the memory.

She didn't leave yet though, wanting to know what the memory was. She saw sinkholes and a few scrubby trees. There was a creature made of metal, tall and dangerous looking. It stood with its back to her, cloaked in black, sturdy in the face of the sharp wind that pulled at Charlie's skin.

What disturbed her most, however, was the young girl floating in the air in front of the metal creature. The child's back was to Charlie, but she could see her long black hair spread out like a halo behind her. From the girl radiated the feelings of abject despair and pain. She wasn't moving, but Charlie could feel her life force, so she must have still be alive. Unable to move to help her, Charlie was left to watch and pray to the stars that the girl had the will to overcome the fear that she was feeling right now.

Before Charlie had a chance to see if her prayers had been answered, however, she was yanked out of the memory by a hand shaking her by her shoulder. Charlie started, opened her eyes, feeling the remnants of the memory slid over her force signature like nails on a chalkboard. It took her a second to realize that it was Padmé that had shaken her.

The senator look worried, and her hand stayed protectively on Charlie's shoulder.

"Charlie, are you alright?" Padmé said, the worry clear in her voice. "You were… twitching, I guess, like you were trying to escape a captor." she said.

"Charlie?" Padmé tried again after Charlie didn't respond the first time.

"Charlie, please answer me! I don't like the look in your eyes." Padmé started to sound desperate.

Finally, the senator's pleas made it through to Charlie's ears, and she forced herself out of the grips of the Force.

"Padmé." she gasped out, not realizing how shallow her breathing had gotten. "Padmé I'm fine. I'm here. Calm down. It was just a… memory, a dream." Charlie said, trying to calm herself as much as the senator.

Padmé looked doubtful.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked.

Charlie nodded in response, slowly calming her racing heart and trying to convince her hands to feel less clammy.

She looked up at Padmé again when she felt that she had control of the remnants of the memory.

"Padmé," she said, "what did you need? I'm assuming you didn't come here to rescue me from the grips of my memory." Charlie said, trying to make light of the situation. She didn't know what the memory was, and she didn't want to reveal anything to Padmé until she knew what was going on.

The senator still remained doubtful, but Charlie saw her visibly relax just a little.

"I came to rescue you from the archives." the senator said, her voice lighter than it had been a moment ago.

"You spend entirely too much time in here. It's about time you spent a night away from your holo screens." Padmé grabbed Charlie by the hand, trying to help her out of the chair.

Making a split second decision, Charlie allowed herself to be hauled out of the chair. She wouldn't be able to get anymore research done tonight anyhow. The memory would haunt her around every corner, distracting and making her worry.

So, she smiled at Padmé and allowed herself to stand up.

Charlie used to force to replace a few of the holos, and grabbed the last few to take them to the front desk. There she left them in order under the watchful gaze of Jocasta Nu, and she and Padmé walked out of the archives together.

They enjoyed a dinner in the crowded mess hall. Charlie was glad for the high noise level and the lack of privacy, for once. It kept the urge to go back into the memory from being so strong. She couldn't do that in the crowded mess hall, so she tamped it down in favor of focusing on her conversation with Padmé.

The senator was talking about Anakin, her pregnancy, her senatorial duties, and really anything else. There was no one sitting with them, not daring to approach the powerful Silverstar and the respected Senator. Charlie was only vaguely listening to her friend talk, letting the noise of the room wash over her.

"Well, he was, of course, ecstatic when I told him about the baby. But I was worried, because later that night I found him sitting in his sleep clothes in our living room."

Charlie tuned into the senator's ramblings in time to hear her recollection of something that had happened concerning Anakin.

"The room was dark, and I could tell something was troubling him." Padmé continued, worry coloring her voice.

"He wouldn't tell me, though. It's happened a couple of times since. I think he worries for mine and the baby's safety, but I tell him I'm safe on Coruscant. He should be more worried about his own. I fear for him, Charlie. The both of them." The senator's eyes looked sad.

Charlie felt her heart trip when she thought about Obi-Wan's safety. She couldn't afford to think about it, because she would invariably conjure up the worst possible scenarios. But Padmé had just voiced her concern.

"Padmé," Charlie started, trying to find the best way to explain what she was feeling.

"Padmé, I get it, I really do. I fear for them too. I wouldn't be surprise if Anakin worries about you. There were enough attempts on your life before Geonosis to worry anyone. I deal with it by keeping busy."

Charlie took the senator's hand, hoping to emphasize her encouragement.

Padmé looked at her quizzically, and Charlie realized she'd given away something major. The senator knew a fair amount about her and Obi-Wan, but not everything.

"Tell me, Charlie." said Padmé, smiling. "How's Obi-Wan?"

Charlie felt herself blush and fervently hoped that no one around them was listening. Looking around surreptitiously to make sure no one was noticing them, she turn back to the senator and grinned a little, allowing her happiness to show.

"He's… surprising." Charlie said, honestly.

"Do tell." Padmé said with a knowing grin.

Charlie sighed. It would be easier to just tell her, because if she didn't, Padmé would pull it out of her, painfully.

"He's everything and nothing like I thought he would be." Charlie began. "He's a Jedi through and through, noble, respectful, hard-working, kind. He's a fierce warrior, and I can see his drive for peace underneath everything. He really wants to destroy the Sith, but he doesn't hate them, he doesn't get angry, just passionate. And it's that that surprises me." Now that she'd begun, the words just spilled from Charlie's mouth.

"The Jedi preach serenity instead of passion, but Obi-Wan balances both. His bond with Anakin is as strong as any part of him. I think he pulls Anakin from his dark tendencies as much as Anakin pulls him from his light tendencies. It makes them a terrifying pair, and its good for Obi-Wan. And for Anakin. So I shouldn't be surprised that Obi-Wan is so passionate, because Anakin is on fire with passion. I can see it in his force signature."

Charlie smiled then, lowing her voice so no one heard.

"It spills into other aspects of his life. He's got a dry wit and a sharp sense of humor, he's adventurous, and I never suspected that such a respectable Jedi would be so… so… well, you know… in bed." Charlie was unable to find the words to describe it.

But Padmé seemed to understand.

"So I suspected." The senator said with a wry grin. "I know the influence that Anakin has on him, and I'm glad you agree that its good. They need each other. They're like brothers. Or father and son. I get what you're trying to say, even if you can't say it. I have trouble putting words to my experience as well." Padmé said, suppressing a giggle.

Charlie smiled in return.

"I just… he makes me feel… happy. Delirious, ecstatic, euphoric, and happy. I've never had a relationship like this. I feel like we've already known each other forever, like we're old friends. Sure, I've had trysts and I've had my fun, but Obi-Wan makes me feel like I'm glowing from the inside. Which is really too much, because it's been but two months at most, and he doesn't feel the same way, and plus were in the middle of a war and I simply can't let my emotions cloud my judgement. There is a stark difference between emotion and passion." Charlie said the last sentence with a finality, as if she wanted to convince herself that she didn't feel as she did.

Padmé looked thoughtful.

"It sounds like you're in love with him, Charlie." she said finally, her voice soft.

Charlie stared at her, uncomprehending.

She must've made a face, because Padmé rushed to explain.

"You speak about him like I speak about Anakin. You're worried for his safety beyond what you consider proper, and I can see in your eyes that it scares you. What you feel is love, and I know that the Jedi code is strict, but isn't it up for interpretation for a reason? Besides, you aren't a Jedi, and you don't have to follow their code. It's been my experience that attachment and love can make a will to fight even stronger. Love crosses boundaries, and it strengthens bonds. Look at Anakin and myself. I'm stuck here, pregnant with his child as bounty hunters attempt to kill me while he's off fighting a war. I should be scared out of my mind for myself, but all I can think about is him. And don't assume so easily that Obi-Wan doesn't feel the same way until you know for sure. You'll only bring yourself more pain. Don't beat yourself up over it; there's no point."

Padmé finished her speech, and Charlie vaguely thought that maybe the senator was wiser than anyone knew.

Charlie was having trouble comprehending that she could be in love with someone, even Obi-Wan. She'd heard everything Padmé had said, and understood most of it, but was still stuck on the idea of love. Mostly because the idea wasn't a repulsive as she'd originally thought. It actually sort of made sense, and that scared her more than she was willing to admit.

Padmé had dropped the subject after her little speech and continued to make small talk, allowing Charlie time to process. Charlie simply followed, not speaking, as she and Padmé tossed their trash and started the walk back to their room. Before she knew it, they were at her door.

Padmé turned to Charlie before she could palm the door open, taking her by the shoulders.

"I know you're going to be up half the night thinking about what we've talked about. But I want you to understand something. Love is an untamed part of the force. It can be tapped into, but it cannot be controlled. However, I believe that tapping into it makes every force-sensitive creature stronger, and the Sith's biggest downfall is that they cannot love, no matter their passion. At least that's what I believe. If you try to control your love, it will destroy you. Even the Jedi will not try it. You will know if you love him. It will come to you in a moment of clarity. Don't beat yourself up about it tonight."

Padmé released her shoulders and hugged Charlie, whose hands came up, grateful for her friend's presence.

But Padmé wasn't done.

"I also want you to know that I value your friendship, and that you've made the past few weeks so much easier. No matter what happens with Obi-Wan and how Anakin feels about it, I will treasure this friendship, and I won't forget it. Be careful with yourself, Charlie. I may not be a Jedi, but I feel the danger that lurks around every corner. We all will be drawn into this fight, and I want you there when I have my child and I want to be there for you. If there's no you to be there for, I will be very disappointed."

Padmé smiled at her joke, and Charlie was surprised to feel tears in her own eyes.

Charlie tightened her embrace of the senator before pulling back.

"Thank you, Padmé." Charlie said. "Thank you for sharing the burden. I will do all I can to see myself, Anakin, and Obi-Wan returned safely, as well as peace returned to the galaxy and order to the Jedi ranks. On that you have my word. As for Obi-Wan, well, its good to know I can count on someone who has experience with that kind of relationship."

With that, Charlie and Padmé bid their goodnights, and Charlie palmed open her door, waving once more to the senator with whom she had become such close friends in such a short time.

When the door had shut behind her, she flicked on the light, clouds covering the moonlight she could normally see by. She made her way through her nighttime routine, not really paying attention to what she was doing. She was absorbed in her thoughts.

"Is it possible?" she asked herself. "Do you… could you love him?"

Charlie could hear the hesitancy in her own thoughts. Love was such a big word, and the Jedi were so sensitive to what it could mean, simply because of the side effects of loving someone. The Code had been changed to allow relationships, such as Anakin's marriage, a while back. And the war was only serving to change it more. There were examples all over the galaxy that bonds also served to make people better fighters, not worse.

Charlie shook her head at herself, pulling down the covers and sliding in between the sheets. She flicked off the lights with a wave of her hand and laid with her head on the pillow watching the slow night traffic out the window.