At sixteen, Zoey's was the first funeral that Addison had gone to. It was a small affair. Aside from Addison, Zed, and Zevon, only a few others had come. Addison's parents, Eliza and her family, Bree and her parents, Bonzo, and Bucky.

It was closed casket. No one could bear to see Zoey another time. Zed could barely stand the funeral. Bucky has spoken in his honor.

Bonzo didn't seem to cry, but he clutched Zander as if his life depended on it. Addison was sure that the stuffed animal still carried a lot about Zoey, like her smell. Zed had probably let his friend keep it too.

Eliza didn't cry. She was an angry kind of griever, angry either the world and the hospital and anyone she could blame. Unlike Zed though, she didn't even mention one of the cheerleaders. None of them crossed her mind in her rage against the system and the cruel world.

Bucky was the strongest of them all. Addison knew her cousin had experienced more in life and had been to a funeral before. He'd dealt with death before. It wasn't the same, of course, and it would always hurt. But he took charge of the situation and made sure everything was settled (he was eighteen, after all).

Zevon grieved the most and the hardest. He didn't speak to anyone or even address his son. Addison didn't forget that Zoey was his daughter and he'd now lost both the girls in his life and that could be something that just makes your psyche snap. But she couldn't help but be bitter at the fact that he was ignoring his son. To her, the two of them needed to look out for each other now more than ever.

Zed stayed with them for the first two weeks after Zoey died. He had stopped crying two days after her death, but still was grieving. He barely slept and only ate when Addison managed to bribe him.

Taking care of Zed helped distract Addison from her own grief. Whenever he wasn't around, though, she had to fight off a breakdown. Sometimes she could, but most times she couldn't. Her parents were always there though. And Bucky would come, just as heartbroken as she was. They'd hold each other and just sit there, still stunned.

Days after the funeral, Addison went to Eliza's house to check on Puppy. Zed had expressed the tiniest bit of concern about his dog. It was the only time he had thought about the outside world.

"Was it like this with Zara died?" Addison asked quietly.

Both Zinnia and Azalea shook their heads. "Zed was just a little kid then," Zinnia explained. "I'm sure he didn't quite know what had actually happened. It's harder for little kids to understand death. But he's so much older now."

Addison nodded in agreement. "I wish I could do more."

"You're doing all that you can, and that's great," Zinnia said comfortingly. "But you can't let him become too dependent on you. You need to start coaxing him back to his normal life."

Eliza scoffed from her seat on the counter. "As if anyone could go back to normal life," she said bitterly.

Her mother ignored her. "Start with Puppy. Dogs can be great for emotional support."

Addison nodded again. "Do you think I should bring Puppy back to my house? If it'll help?"

"I honestly think he should go home," Zinnia stated. "Zevon has been a wreck around here. But I do understand that they both need their time to cope."

"Take Puppy with you," Azalea said. "I'll go put his stuff in a bag. Make it easier for you."

When Zed saw Puppy he cried. They were a combination of sad and happy tears, and Zed took his dog from Addison's hands and held it to his chest. He kissed Puppy's head and looked at Addison, giving her a watery smile. It was the first time he'd smiled, genuinely smiled since Zoey died.

"I missed him so much," he said in a thick voice. "Thank you, Addy."

Addison smiled softly and squeezed his arms. "I thought your mom didn't like pets?" Zed asked.

Addison shrugged. "We just have to clean up after Puppy until you go back home," she said, hinting heavily to him going home soon.

Zed nodded excitedly. "I didn't think I'd be so happy to see Puppy!"

For the first time in weeks, Addison giggled. She reached out and screeched Puppy's head, leaning into her boyfriend's side. "I think dogs just have this magical property to make people happy," she suggested. "It's best not to question it."

Zed giggled too. He looked at Addison and nodded in the direction of the couch. They moved over to it, sitting down and letting Puppy jump into Addison's lap.

"Addy, you know I love you, right?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Zed shrugged. "I just…I haven't said it in a while."

Addison leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. When she pulled back, she said to him, "You don't have to say you love me because I know you do and always will. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Zed smiled softly and lifted a hand to cradle her jaw. "Thank you," he said in a soft and quiet voice. He leaned forward and kissed her again.

Zed went back home a week after Puppy joined him. Addison knew he didn't really want to leave and was only going because he didn't want to intrude in their lives. He didn't say it and Addison couldn't call him out on it because he didn't say it. She may have wanted him to leave, to try and adjust to life without her (as in herself and maybe a teensy bit without Zoey), but she didn't want him to leave if he wasn't ready.

In July, Addison started summer cheer practice. Football was out on the field and the captains (Addison and Bree) had the cheerleaders on the track, giving Addison a perfect view of Zed working out. She wasn't sure when he had gone back to practice but she was glad that he was. Football and cheer took their lunch breaks together and Addison made her way to where Zed was seated with a few of his friends.

"Hey," she said as she down with them.

Zed smiled at her around his sandwich. He swallowed and took a drink. "I've missed you," he said. "It's been a while, Addy."

Addison shrugged. "You dog shed all over my house and my mom made me clean it."

"You should've told me, I would've helped," Zed said.

"I'm the one that brought Puppy, it was my responsibility."

"Hey Zed, we'll see you on the field," Carter said as he and the other two stood up.

Zed and Addison waved them goodbye and waited until they were gone before continuing. "How've you been?" Addison asked.

Zed shrugged. "I haven't slept in my room," he said honestly. "I…I can't go past her room yet."

Addison reached out and took his hand in hers. "At least your back home," she said. "Your making progress, which is what matters. And you're back out on the field."

Zed rolled his eyes and chuckled bitterly. "I'm mostly here to get away from my dad," he admitted. "He…he's been drinking."

"What?"

"He's not, like, doing anything bad," Zed explained. "It's just…he's a little unbearable when he's drunk. Very useless."

"Zed—"

"I'd much rather be here, playing ball than with him," Zed went on. "Plus, Bonzo says that I shouldn't just stop living my life. That Zoey would want me to become the greatest football player in the world."

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Addison asked. "I…I don't want you somewhere where you could get hurt."

"I'm playing football, I think I can handle myself."

"You'll tell me though, right? If anything happens? If…" Addison swallowed thickly, hating the thought that came to mind. "If he starts beating you?"

Zed nodded without hesitation. "I'll tell you everything, Addy. You're my rock."

Addison cracked a smile, then leaned forward and kissed him softly. "I'm also really glad you're eating without me having to bribe you," she added.

"I mean, you can still bribe me," Zed said cheekily.

"Or you can just ask for kisses and cuddles, like a normal human—actually never mind."

Zed barked out a laugh that made Addison grin harder than she thought possible. "I love you, Addy," he said with a grin. "You always make me so happy, even when you aren't trying."

"Think you love me enough to give me some of your lunch?"

"Za mōg greeska."

"What do you think I should do for my birthday?" Addison asked.

"Are you seriously thinking of having a party?" Eliza scrutinized.

Addison nodded. "I can't change the fact that I will age this year."

"Your birthday is literally the day before Zoey's would be."

"I'm sorry that I happened to be born then, and eight years later Zoey was born the day after me," Addison said unapologetically. "It's my birthday. I'm turning seventeen, I'm gonna celebrate it."

"That's so selfish."

Addison narrowed her eyes at the Zombie. Eliza was usually judgemental and sarcastic, wanting everyone to see and do things her way. But this was Addison's birthday.

"It's my birthday," Addison stated. "It's the one day of the year dedicated to me. It's celebrating my birth. I'd get it if it was a week after Zoey had died but it's been two months and I'm going to celebrate my birthday."

"Well you can count me out you self-centered bitch."

Addison nearly growled. "I wasn't going to invite you in the first place. I don't need your negative energy ruining my birthday."

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Like anywhere that isn't in my line of sight?"

Addison shouldered her bag and made her way to the door. She didn't look back as she left Eliza room and essentially her life.

Zed liked to hide under the stairs. It was quiet and his dad could never find him when he was there. The only disadvantage was that he couldn't take Puppy with him. The small dog would bark or yip and give away his hiding spot and Zed couldn't afford that.

Just go stay with Addison, he thought. She said you're always welcome.

Except when she was pushing you to leave.

For your own benefit. She wanted you to start learning to live on your own.

And what makes you think she she'd want to see you now? Want to watch you crumble and become a dependent sack of potatoes?

Addison loves you.

And you know what happens to people you love. You get attached and then they leave. Just like Mom. Just like Zoey. Just like Dad.

"Addison? What happened with you and Eliza?"

Addison shrugged. "I was trying to plan my birthday, and she thought I shouldn't have a birthday. We fought, and…and she blocked me."

Zed furrowed his brows in confusion. He sat down beside his girlfriend and asked, "You're having a birthday party?"

Addison shook her head. "I'm just gonna get sushi and cake. Because that's all I can do without offending anyone," she said bitterly. "You think I shouldn't do anything either, do you?"

Zed shook his head. "It is your birthday," he said reluctantly. "Which…which is the day before Zoey's would be. She would've turned nine. We were gonna have a huge party for her too. At that trampoline place…"

Zed sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry, I got all…"

"Don't be sorry," Addison said. "You're grieving, and it's okay. It's only been two months, and she was your baby sister."

"I just never thought I'd outlive my little sister, who's younger than me by almost ten years."

"I know it hurts," Addison said. "But—don't be mad—but I just wanna forget about this summer. June sucked, and July is my favorite month because it's my birthday and I don't want it to suck too because it's my birthday and now me and Eliza aren't friends and you're making me realize I was probably being selfish and insensitive for wanting a birthday."

"You are."

Addison sighed and fell back against her bed. "I am a horrible person."

"Yep."

"You aren't making me feel any better."

Zed shrugged. "So are you still doing your birthday thing? And are you and Eliza still fighting?"

"Yes and yes," Addison stated. "You don't have to support me, but it's my birthday. I wanna celebrate it. And Eliza said horrible things about me, so I will not forgive her until she apologizes."

"Well, she made me choose."

Addison sat up and looked at him in concern. "What?"

Zed nodded. "Said I can't date you and be friends with her so I picked you because you didn't try to make your fight my problem."

"Zed—"

"It's not Eliza even came to me when my sister died," Zed added. "She never even checked on me! She never asked how I was doing or if I was okay! She just treated me like I was fucking glass and couldn't handle a simple conversation!"

Addison reached over and wrapped her arms around him. "Hey, it's okay Baby," she said comfortingly. "I'm here, okay?"

"Is…is it okay if I cry?"

"Of course!" Addison said incredulously. "You can cry whenever, even if you don't have anything to cry about! I'm always here for you."

Zed leaned into her side and cried hard. His body shook as he sobbed. Addison did what she could, rubbing his arm and running her fingers through his hair (he liked it when she did it so she liked to do it as often as possible).

A minute later, Zed pulled back and wiped his eyes. Addison watched curiously as he pulled his shirt over his head and used the cotton to rub his face and neck roughly. "What're you…" Addison started, trailing off as she realized he was rubbing off makeup (some that didn't even really stay on).

He wasn't covered in bruises but there was enough that she knew it wasn't just from football. Zed looked at her sadly and ashamed. "I-I didn't want to tell you before but…but you can't tell anyone."

"Zed," Addison said in slight disbelief. "Your dad's been beating you?"

"Addison you can't tell anyone," he reiterated.

"How can I not tell anyone!" Addison exclaimed, still not really believing what he had said. "This-it's not right! You could get hurt! You are getting hurt!"

"Addison he's the only family I have," Zed stated. "I cannot lose him, Addy. I can't."

Addison wanted to push—to get him to tell someone and realize just how wrong it was—but he believed that it was fine. He just wanted to hold onto whatever he could.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, Addison," Zed insisted. "Swear!"

"Okay," she resigned. "I swear, I won't tell anyone."