Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

AN: Before the story begins, I'd like to make a few things known: I apologize for writing Kuwada when Mondo died, I mixed up their names late at night. Also, Naegi did not kill Leon; the baseball player was punished off-screen by Monokuma. Naegi's history will be confirmed in this chapter; I say confirm because I have faith some readers have already figured it out. Finally, I'm considering a series of one-shot lemons for Naegi and the girls based in this universe, but feel I lack the 'creativity' for such an undertaking. If anyone is interested, send me a PM and we'll chat.

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Chapter 3: Down time with Dames

I don't leave my room for two days. I don't eat, I don't sleep; I don't even take a wiz or dump. All I do is stare at the ceiling and flip off the roof and the sky, cursing the creator for putting me on this earth if he just takes everything from me.

I'm so depressed that the girls could all walk into the room in skimpy bikinis, announce the intent to have sex with me and it wouldn't matter.

I just keep seeing Fuji's smiling face over and over and over and over…

And when it's not his, I see their faces.

And then I always cry myself to sleep, only to wake up and do the whole thing all over again.

XXXX

I used to swear I'd find all the answers to all the problems in the world and I'd never give up hope I could do it; neither did Ma and Sis.

Maji Makoto Detective Agency has been my family for generations; Ma says our family worked alongside the Iga and Kouga ninja clans in feudal Japan and it's thanks to us that several highbrow criminal are incarcerated/ practically unknown.

I'd go into more details, but it'd probably be best if you didn't know.

Ma inherited MMDA from dad shortly after I was born. I never knew the old man, he supposedly died fighting off in some war.

Ma tackled any kind of case; murderers, robbers, kidnappers, it didn't matter; give her a case and 64 hours, or less, and she'd take the job. Aside from Genocider Sho, she always got her prep and had fun doing it: Other kids had GI Joe or Transformers; I grew up watching Ma kick the asses of the worse scum the world had to offer while lecturing them on how the fucked up their own lives.

Yeah….Kind embarrassed to admit it, but I was a Tag-along-kid. And all the moves I've shown; I learnt all those and more watching Ma do them on punks, murderers and scumbags.

Ma would always tongue lash me whenever I snuck onto a case with her; which is surprisingly both as easy as it seems like on TV and gets harder as you get older. Then she'd mess up my hair and take me out for ice cream, calling me her little hopeful hero.

I lived for hearing those words. I started sneaking around all the time, finding clues for mom to find and noticing little things that the cops never gave too much thought about. No that'd I'd blame them, the things that tie back can be the craziest….

Ah, whatever.

I stopped sneaking onto cases when Sis was born, focusing on being around for my then baby sister and catch up my schoolwork so that when I inherited MMDA I'd actually be able to do it….and yeah, daydreaming about Maizono probably took up a good chunk of my time.

Sis always teased me about that. Which I returned by reminding her that she listened to my crush's CDs. We'd playfully spar before Ma came back, have dinner and then either go for the big reveal of cases or chill and watch gangster movies.

At any glance, I had a pretty good and cool life for most of it; badass mom, cute little sister, a family legacy I could actually see myself picking up after. All I'd really need was the gal of my dreams and then it'd be perfect.

Then one day, everything changed.

I'd stayed out later than usual that day, clean-up duty went out for tea after we were done, with the long weekend coming up. I hadn't thought too much of it, I'd sent Ma a text, and she said it was cool.

I came home to complete and utter hell:

The house had been burnt down, and the pyros had let themselves in first. Ma and Sis had been home and put up a hell of a fight….but it wasn't enough. Monokuma must've been there; I may be deluding myself, but claw marks like his own were there.

Ma and Sis lived just long enough to see me in the hospital and smile. We'd been hugging when their lines went flat.

The Hopeful Hero they adored died that day. The Hardboiled Hater came in his place.

XXXX

Since Fuji died, the bastard bear opened up more of the school; now we got a pool and greenhouse. Knowing Aoi, she's probably already taking over.

Once again, I'm all alone in my room, bloodshot eyes staring at the room I've memorized so well I bet I could spot things the maker didn't see.

Then I hear an irritating voice that is still more tolerable than Togami's.

"Well, look at the little bitch. Where's the Naegi I played with?"

Sho. She's still out? And hasn't killed Togrami?

Huh. Wonder if I could pay her to kill him? My fantasies just ain't doing it.

"So you couldn't save someone, so what?" Sho asks me. "You ain't Goku or Superman, your Naegi Makoto."

She thinks that's going to bring my spirit?

"Hope can be a real pain, huh?" Sho tells me. "You give and give and all it does is take. And you actually believed in for it for so long, never giving of it and somehow being cute about it instead of those guys I'd slit. Then you became like the rest of us when it took your mom and that cute little sister of yours. Yeah, I know what happened, and not going to lie, I'm as pissed as you are; your mom made our games fun! Minus that one time I kidnapped and threatened you…"

"I still get phantom feels of the gag and ropes you used."

"Kinky." Sho smirks, then continuing with her rant, which seems to be dying down. "Anyways, not saying you don't deserve a little down time, but like your mom said; you got a life, live it! Sides, with her gone, I need an arch-enemy, and you're cuter than all the other possibilities. Yes, that includes Togami. Cool and collected can be hot, but give me a nice fella any day and I'm his. So, buck up, shut up and get fucking up shit again, its boring around here!"

Since when did Sho care about anybody but herself?

"Sides, you got that hottie Aoi worrying her curvy bod over you. Not to mention the idol, model and the other gals, even if they don't admit it. I don't like it when that hottie's bubbly and bouncy face ain't smiling."

Yeah, that sound more like it.

She's right though, the girls have been worried about me and trying to comfort me. I've been taking some of it, but have been an emo jerk about it sometimes, just asking to be alone.

For the first time in a couple days, I stand up, bow to Sho in thanks….then make it clear once this over, I'm finishing what ma started with her.

She laughs maniaclly and pinches me on the cheek…then kisses me.

"Call me, Naegi!" She smiles as she hops back to her room

…..

I have half a min to consider adding sexual assault to her list of crimes….but I kinda liked it.

My clothes stink to high heaven, so I go with my alternate clothes; a silver trench-coat and fedora hat with a button up part that covers up my face except my eyes with black gloves, combat boots Muku gave me and fresh pants. Before doing the final button, I pop a few pills in so that I don't get dizzy.

Kirgiri and Maizono are standing outside the door, smiles on their faces. They put this on for me?

I thank them, getting a hug from my first gal while my fellow detective smiles and pats me on the shoulder before telling me something's been found that I need to see.

I see it.

Fujisaki's adorable, smiling face.

"FUJI!"

I push everyone out of my way and tear the laptop away from the salivating Yamada (we got a whole media room and he still wants more laptops?), feverishly typing away to talk with my little bro. He explains that he backed up his personality onto this laptop under the name Alter-Ego and then goes into techno-babble I'd never understand.

I just kiss the screen as tears go down my face.

I still have my lil bro.

Kirgiri gently takes Fuji for me for a promised two minutes, asking him about Mondo for Hardass. The face of Fuji's killer suddenly shows up and spouts some crap that honestly sounded like him; he made his own choice and now he has the afterlife to reflect on it.

Kind of respect the guy now.

Hardass suddenly goes Super Saiyan (or whatever you call whenever hair goes white and energy bursts from someone) and declares himself a fusion with the Kuwabara wannabe.

A hall monitor delinquent? I think I may just actually start to like him now.

We agree to keep Fuji, now codenamed Alter-Ego a secret and in a single location; there's only one room in the whole class he'd be safe from anybody, and it ain't my room…it's the lockerroom that goes to the steam bath.

I spend the next for minutes catching up with Fuji before Aoi and Muku (I really wish she would be herself, not just Junko) command me to take a shower and eat something.

XXX

God, damn poker.

I actually got a slim chance of ever winning a game of chess. Not a big chance, but a slim one regardless. Poker and other card games? Unless it's go fish, I suck royally.

Why do I mention this?

After showering and while stuffing my face with food, I apologize to the girls for the way I've been acting. Sakura reveals she 'burrowed' Fuji from Yamada and my little bro playfully lectures me on being considerate of a girl's feelings. Considering he lived as one for the longest time, I find he raises a lot of good points.

I promise to never again go emo, and then I'm covered in beauties smooching me from the forehead to the neck. When they have to go and take care of something, I'm covered in kisses.

I may not have a lot of life left, but I'm loving what I got so far.

As I'm reluctantly cleaning off the displays of affections, Celeste come by with a bombshell of a confession; she's got a plan to kill two people and win the millions of dollars the bear bastard said the next person who killed would win by framing the fortune teller.

For some reason though, she's having second thoughts and feels the need to tell me everything. She's trying to charm me into being her toy…and for that cute little goth's smooth and silky tones, I'd wear a dog collar, pant my tongue and sit as she commanded.

What?

Yeah I got issues in keeping women happy…And look what that's got me so far? Maybe you oughta learn something from this…

If I actually win.

I have to beat her in a game of poker to keep her from doing such. If she wins, she goes about with her plan and I keep quiet as I watch her eventually get whatever Monokuma has in store for those who fail to get away with murder. If I win, she smiles and says she'd like to join the harem I have growing and….she'll give me the whole night.

A nay-sayer or perv may tell me to use my 'horniness' to power my way through this problem, show off my (as Maizono and Aoi say) killer bod or whisper lines that'll make her legs go jelly.

But like chess, poker don't work like that.

You gotta keep your cool, keep your opponent guessing…

Wait, what?

Celeste want to do strip poker.

God, bless poker!

Two minutes later, I take that back; I'm down to my underwear and all Celeste's tossed is her jacket….revealing her pale, silkly smooth looking arms.

"Out of luck, lucky charm?" She smiles.

Oh, I love it when she calls me that…

I reveal my hand, not caring what I have and knowing I have no hope of beating a verteran gambler like Celeste.

All aces.

That's apparentky good, cause Celeste takes off her top.

Not her just her jacket; I mean everything but her lacey black bra.

"Good game, Lucky Charm." She smiles. "Almost got you."

Before I can, for some reason, point out how it shouldn't count because of the difference between our experience, lips covered with a lavender like gloss cover mine. A maid cap then falls to the floor and long, smooth black hair cascades down Celeste's head.

She then lands on my chest, my eyes start going fuzzy…She gently pushes two of my pills into my mouth; sweetly smiling as she does so.

As we kiss, she tells me how she built herself from nothing and made herself exteremly wealthy. I've heard stories like this before, but when a pretty lady tells them I pay much more attention. All she needed was one more big score….

Which apparently, is me.

The money the bear bastard showed us is not important to her anymore, and she's not sure what I've done, but she's grateful. Now she may actually be the diplomat she tried to present herself as when the whole mess started. That, and without competiton, she'll be able to unwind a little.

An idol, swimmer, gambler and a fellow detective.

XXXX

I forgot how I was for a second today.

I got a message from the gals about some creep bothering them at the pool. It really should've occurred to me that Muku and Sakura probably could've handled whichever of the remaining three (and a half, if what Hardass said is true) dicks was giving them trouble, but something today made me rush towards the only things I give a damn about.

What greeted me?

Aoi, Maizono, Muku, Kirgiri and Celeste stand right in of me; smiling in bikinis and asking me how they look.

God. Damn. Thank you.

Aoi's red string bikini looks as amazing as ever, barely covering what needs to be covered and leaving nothing to the imagination.

Maizono's bikini is pink, contrasting her blue hair and calling back memories of her band days.

Muku is in an army camo style bikini, with a sash wrapped around her right arm. Her dyed hair is down.

Kirgiri is donned in a one-piece in Sherlock Holmes like colors. The slight smile on her face tells me she's using this to tease me.

Celeste has a sundress like swimsuit on; a black one with a crow like theme.

"Like what you see, Lucky Charm?" She teases, and I nod weakly.

If I die now, my only regret will be never killing Togami.

Muko and Maizono playfully drag me into the pool, clothes and all.

Not that they're on for long…

I go to bed tonight with all the gals in my life sharing the bed while I sleep on the chair, and I feel damn good about it.

I feel alright, for the first time in a long time.

From the Diary of Naegi Makoto.

Like I said in the AN, Read and review, offer suggestions for the story