It should be obvious who will get the Empress' treatment, but not for a few chapters. ;) I know a lot of you missed the Empress at work, but with her Scarecrow beside her, she'll be back in your line of vision with a new victim.

Twenty-Seven

Double Trouble

Jonathan couldn't stop smiling as he cleared the table for Iris while she went upstairs to change for the night. Iris loved him…she loved him, and she was going to be his wife and maybe the mother of his children. Or child, most likely; he preferred one being less to worry about and knew Iris did, too. Both had good reasons for wanting one offspring, given their family histories. Despite the brutal environments of their upbringings, they found each other. They had been destined to be together right from the very beginning.

Iris DeLaine…Iris Crane. He smiled at her future name. Hearing her tell him she loved him marked her as his and only his. In his heart, the engagement was sincere and real until the one obstacle between them was gone. No other man - not even Warner - would ever lay hands upon her now. They had the strength to take every last chain that monster and the demons of their pasts had tried to strangle them with…she had done the same in helping him get out of the asylum he once ran.

The room was getting hot for him, so he'd discarded his jacket and hung it on the coat rack in the kitchen. He was just finishing off drying the dishes and putting them away when, out of the blue, the doorbell rang, making him jump and nearly drop one of the fine china plates. He was so lucky he had a firm grip on it; Iris would have been furious if he'd dropped her good china. "I'll get it," he called up the stairs. Iris would have the bedroom door open, so it was possible she heard him. He proceeded to walk towards the door, wondering who the hell it could be at this hour.

Perhaps he should have looked through the peephole before he opened the door…because the second he opened the door and saw a number of four faces - one being the very one he did not expect to see again until a certain day only days away - he was greeted with rough arms grabbing him from the doorway and a hand slapping over his mouth to muffle any shouts to Iris for help. He smelled chloroform that very instant and panicked in spite of himself even as he struggled to wrestle out of the men's arms, but before he knew it, he lost unconsciousness and succumbed to a hazy stupor. His last thought was fearing what was going to happen to Iris…and that he should have stayed away to keep her safe after all when he had the chance.

~o~

She took one last look at herself in the bathroom mirror at the negligee she wore - a stretchy black chemise ending above her knees, the thin straps tied with blue ribbon, and the bust vivid blue and covered with black lace and a criss-cross black satin pattern similar to a corset on both breasts. Jonathan was sure to have his jaw dropped and drooling over her tonight; she was his fiancée now, and they would go public once Warner was done for.

Jonathan.

She turned her head for the opened bathroom door and saw that Jonathan wasn't waiting on the bed as he would. Frowning, she grabbed her robe and draped it over herself, tying the sash and leaving the room. "Jonathan?" she called over the railing overlooking the foyer.

No reply.

"Jonathan?" she tried again, worry coursing through her veins as she descended the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her, given it was easier without her heeled boots or pumps, and stopped abruptly when she saw that the front door was slightly ajar. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest. Jonathan wouldn't just leave the door open like that…would he? She crept forward as slowly as she would, wishing she had her pistol on her at the moment.

She didn't have time to scream when she touched the door - and it flew open and barged in the man she didn't want to see. She was slammed against the wall beside her, her mouth covered by his hand to prevent her from screaming.

"I wouldn't try screaming if I were you," Warner hissed, his poisonous eyes boring into hers. She tried her hardest not to show her fear of him, but her trembling body made it difficult. What the hell was he doing here, and how did he get out of his coma so fast? Unless the shock had a shorter-lasting effect than any of them thought.

"I wouldn't even try crying for you lover," he continued, and her eyes went wide. "Oh, yes, that's right. I know all about it now. And after I specifically made it clear that you never see him again now that we will be married soon…"

"What have you done with Jonathan?" she spat out once he removed his hand after deciding it was safe, but he kept her pinned against the wall of her own home.

He chuckled. "Oh, nothing that you should worry about…yet." Iris felt her blood run cold all at once. "And no, nothing of what you may be thinking. In fact, that'll have to wait until after the wedding when we get to the night," he told her with a malicious grin, "and he gets to watch while I have my way with you, then he'll have his chance. Not to mention, I have missed watching him writhe and wriggle beneath me…"

"You sick old son of a bitch," Iris snarled at him as she lunged her head forward and slammed her head against his, making him stumble. She ignored the minor headache of her own as she continued. "That's why Jonathan ended up as he was before and after he was committed to his own asylum. You are one of the demons that destroyed his body and his mind…but you didn't crush his soul. He has one - and a heart - unlike you. And I'm one of the ones to see that."

He glared at her as he rubbed his forehead. "That little whore had it coming. He brought it on himself, selling himself off to me like a common prostitute in the street…"

"He worked hard as I did to get to where he was, and you didn't give him what he gave me just because you saw him as fulfillment to your sick fantasies!" Iris shouted at the top of her lungs. This only made the professor laugh again.

"Iris, you sound like that black sheep riddle-obsessed boy…Nygma. He wasn't wise enough to leave well enough alone."

Iris' temper boiled. "He was defending Jonathan," she hissed quietly, knowing that shouting would only please him all the more.

"And he brought it on himself. Look where he ended up, on the same level as the brilliant, youngest graduate doctor ever. Too bad they were both troubled right from the start. Much like yourself, running that house of the high-risk crazies, caring for the mentally ill, and sending them back on the streets to start fresh. I always thought you were better than he ever was…but your own childhood trauma has clearly made you as mentally unsound as he was."

"Don't talk about Jonathan that way." She backed off to the side, her back still up against the wall, prepared to dash for the phone, but Warner followed her.

"I wouldn't think of trying to phone the police if I were you. Unless you want your lover to suffer."

"You never answered my question. Where is he?" Iris demanded.

"He's 'safely' tucked away, somewhere you won't find him yourself." He gave her a smile that made her want to claw his face off with her bare hands. "Oh, and aren't you wondering how I found out about your…secret trysts?" His eyes lowered to her exposed chest where he glimpsed the bust of her chemise.

Now her brain clicked. Why had she forgotten that? "Yes, I am, actually."

"Only a matter of…following you from work today as soon as I awoke and was released. After I awoke, I got a call from Dr. Long. He recently fired me from the university after one too many errors, said I'm setting a bad example for the board and students." She smiled to herself that he got what he deserved and that he couldn't harm young Amber now, but that didn't stop the current crisis at hand. "Which means this: I'll have to move the wedding up to date."

The feeling of her lungs losing oxygen took over, and she felt herself slump to the ground, still staring up at him. "W-what? You moved the wedding up? To when?"

"This Thursday."

"Three days?!" Iris slumped forward, staring at the floor, wanting to die right here right now, but cruel fate had more in store for her and Jonathan, wherever he was. Except there was one place she could think of, but she needed the gang's help. She felt two rough hands grab her forearms and hoist her up so she was looking into Warner's eyes again.

"That's right, three days. But we'll have our engagement party in two days, at the Starlight Ballroom. Originally I thought of the Rose Café where we had our first date…which I recall you taking off while I was in the restroom for the whole night." His eyes twinkled. "Clever, but not unnoticed by me, whatever you did. Not that I care anymore, anyway. What I care about is that we proceed where we left off. I trust you've been handling the plans as I asked?" She nodded, not wanting to risk angering him. "Good. Whatever you haven't handled, we'll take care of starting tomorrow. In the meantime…" He released his hold on her, but this time she regained her footing and remained where she was standing.

"I suggest you watch out because I have my eye on you every day now from tonight. If I see anything suspicious, then I'll have no choice but to use that to my advantage…much as I did to your Jonathan so he could get his degree sooner than average." She nearly wanted to puke at the thought of him using whatever he'd have against her and blackmailing her into sleeping with him just as he did to Jonathan. She avoided looking at him as she heard his turn to leave the house, closing the door behind him. She dashed over and quickly locked it. Good thing the window curtains were closed because she looked over her shoulder to see Pamela and Harley now standing behind the railing over the second upstairs level. Harley was biting her lip in fear and cowering next to her girlfriend, who looked down with murder in her green eyes.

"Guys, I'm afraid," Iris managed to choke out, the emotion she longed studied with Jonathan finally released.

Pamela clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Oh, don't be, honey. Because I got more ideas on my plate now than I did before. This means war and the old guy ain't going down without a fight."

~o~

"So you've been having carnal relations with my fiancée behind my back this whole time," Warner said, lounging into the room Jonathan had been locked in. "I might have known it."

His prison wasn't the basement - or even Warner's room - and had a bed and various other furniture and entertainment for his comfort, and a very small window that he could not even try to escape from. On the whole, his captivity wasn't brutal but was not without the knowing factor that the worse was to come. There was poor Iris, alone in their home and likely at the mercy of this dangerous old beast in front of him. Jonathan looked up at him as he entered, but didn't move from the bed where he sat, upright and tense on the tranquil, warm tones of brown, green, and tan. "Yes, Professor, I have," he answered, proud and unashamed. "I had every right to remain with her, just as I have been long before you intruded on our lives."

His former professor threw his head back and let out a guttural laugh. "Didn't one of the Ten Commandments ever tell you 'Thou shalt not covet the man's wife'?"

"She's not your wife," Jonathan spat. "And I do not go by some seemingly nonexistent God's advice to live life."

"Oh, not yet, but she will be." He dragged Jonathan to his feet and clutched him close - Jonathan angrily struggled with fiery hate, resulting in an almost feminine but still strong strike to the face. Warner released him and brought a hand to his cheek, glaring at him ferociously. "You don't want me anymore, I take it."

"I never wanted your hideous swine of a body," Jonathan snarled. "Come to that, given the way the world works now, you would have ruined my future. I never wanted to succumb to your carnal desires; I trusted you when you wanted to help me with my future…but you violated it. You raped me. My body, mind, and soul. You brought out Scarecrow."

Warner laughed again but with anger. "How dare you! Feisty as ever. Oh, well, perhaps you should have thought of it all earlier before you lost it all. Oh, well, don't fear, because I won't need your body, not for a while now. But I'll have some use for you all the same when that day is over."

"You'll have me here for one week until the wedding day?" Jonathan laughed haughtily even though he imagined what would happen to Iris. "Until then, what will happen to me?"

"Oh, not for a week. Three days."

Three days?! The date had been moved up to three more days! He was insane, completely insane. "Why the sudden change?" he dared to ask.

"Because your old boss, Long, fired me after too much trouble. From the phone call she left me, to no classes for a week, and now that trouble with the 'shocker stripper', as the Internet and everyone else in town who knows me speaking about it. He regretted informing me that I was causing tension and unease amongst the staff members and fueling the imaginations of the students."

His being fired was music to his ears. Two times fired in a decade, but there was also the possibility that… "So you've moved up the wedding date because you want to marry Iris for her money, and not just her body." His heart thumped louder and faster than on a monitor as the revelation revealed itself in his mind before he even spoke it aloud.

"That is correct. And once that happens, I own not only everything she has but also her. Nothing will stop her from leaving me. Unlike you. So, in the meantime…you will stay here until after the wedding, and the three of us will have some time alone on the wedding night."

It was only then did the door close that Jonathan felt the bile rise in his stomach, and he dashed for the trash can and released it all. God, his head pounded just thinking about what could happen on that night: Warner taking Iris, then taking him…Iris and him forced to do it together in front of him…then the three of them taking turns in a threesome…

Everything in him hurt, especially thinking about that last one.

~o~

"How's the latest coming along, Eddie?" Drew walked into his office, smiling as he beheld the sight of his latest invention, a computer game system known as the Riddle of the Minotaur. "Minotaur, really? I never would have thought of you using one of the most ferocious characters from Greek lore as the main subject of a computer game?"

"Not a game, Drew," Edward corrected with a proud grin. "The game. We're going to make a killing with this. Imagine the profits we could make with this, all the millions the company could make with this. This is a game like no other in history."

His future cousin-in-law took one last look at the image on the screen, the title page that would end up being the cover of the game, of the young man with the sword facing the valley with a look of determination on his face - the valley crawling with beauty and flora and fauna…and the colossal head of the Minotaur himself fading beyond the horizon and among the darkening blue sky. "If I didn't know any better, Eddie, I'd say that you based this hero's face off of yourself," he said with a wry grin.

That's because it is me. Edward smirked back and opened his mouth to respond when his phone rang. Drew nodded in understanding. "I should let you take that and get back to work. And by the way…" He waved a finger to the game screen once he was at the door. "…that thing is going to make us profit."

Edward nodded, feeling pride swell in him as he stared after the closed door and answered his phone at the same time. "Competitron, this is Edward."

"Eddie! Oh, thank God, is this a bad time?"

He furrowed his brow. "Iris? No, of course not." He sat down in his desk chair. "Whatever's the problem?"

"It - It's Jonathan. He's…gone. He was taken from the house last night."

Edward went rigid, standing straight up where he was. Jon…Jon was…kidnapped?! He was kidnapped from their home just last night! He felt like he was going to have a heart attack and die any minute - or rather, seconds. "He's been kidnapped! By who?"

"Do you really want to know?" was the response, and she sounded doubtful yet was going to say who the kidnapper was anyways. Before he could say of course he wanted to know because his best friend had been abducted from his own home just the previous night, she voiced the name they both loathed the most: "It was none other than Warner."

"WARNER!" His voice almost rose to an octave, but it was safe since he had no assistants around, and Drew was off elsewhere. How the hell did that bastard snap out of his comatose state - and most importantly, how did he find out about Jonathan still living in DeLaine Manor? "How the hell did he wake up so soon, and how did he find you guys?"

She let it all out in one breath. "He awoke just like that as far as I know, and he followed me from work after the hospital let him go. He took Jonathan when I wasn't looking, but he didn't say where he had him, except I know where he is. And he's moved up the wedding to two more days. It was three, beginning last night."

"Three days!" The phone nearly slipped through his slackened fingers, but he was so lucky he managed to keep his hold on it. "Why the hell is he so desperate now?"

"Dr. Long fired him from university, so now he's ready to move it all up. I think you know where I'm going from here," she stated. Unfortunately, she was right about him already knowing.

As much as he hated it, he stated it anyways. "He's marrying you for your money, and because he can't wait to get his hands on you." It soon dawned on him that Warner was also intending to have Jonathan as his sex toy again… He tried not to think too much about the possibility that he had fantasies about using the two in a threesome with him.

"And he said he was watching me now that he doesn't work anymore. Which means Red and Harley are still with me, and I'm afraid he'll blackmail me if he finds out…"

"No, he won't," Edward interrupted gently, an idea formulating in his mind. "Where are you now? Are you at work?"

"Yes, and Joan is with me right now."

"Alright, call Pamela and Harley, and if they are still there, tell them to get out of the house now, and meet me at our place by the end of the day. Whatever they can do, make sure they stay out of the public's eye." He should've called himself an idiot for saying that; of course, those vixens had their ways of making themselves unrecognizable.

Jonathan was once again in Warner's hands. And the wedding had been moved up to two days' time. God, could the situation get any worse?

~o~

"Dr. DeLaine, your fiancé is here. He's looking for you."

"Thanks, Barb," Iris said with a slight groan, glancing up at Joan. "My God, I wonder what he wants. There are so many things I can think of right now." She jerked her head roughly in the direction of the office door as soon as she heard that knock. "Damn, he's here already, and I need to call Pamela to tell her and Harley to get out of the house," she whispered harshly.

Joan nodded and pulled out her phone. "I can leave them a text." There was another knock, and that just about pushed Iris' buttons.

"Enter!"

"I was beginning to think that you were ignoring me," Warner noted as he walked into the office, a brown package tucked under his arm. "Since I have no more classes to teach…" he said with a knowing fire in his eyes on her, making her mentally cringe. "…I had time to buy my bride-to-be something to wear for our engagement party tomorrow night."

Iris saw Joan flinch from the corner of her eye. She scoffed indignantly. "Oh, first you pick out my dress for our date at the Rose Café, now you pick out my dress for our engagement party. I really can pick my own clothes out."

Warner frowned at her. "I would watch my tongue if I were you, missy." She hissed to herself; that was a name used to call a little misbehaving girl. "So," he said, changing his voice to a pretense of kindness, "be a doll and take a look at what I brought you?"

Iris tried to avoid the topic as best as she could. "I would, but I have a patient to visit in the medical ward in ten minutes." But Warner wasn't willing to let her pass until he got what he wanted.

"It'll only take a second. No harm ever came from that." Sighing heavily, Iris tore open the box as fast as she could and gaped in shock at what she saw.

"Oh, no way in hell. This is like ten times worse than the red dress." She picked up the dress by the shoulders, the silver jewelry pieces sliding down and hitting the box's interior wall with a soft clink, so she could see the details of the black velvet striping over the rich iris blue brocade design, as well as the antique buttons and cross-laced front. Joan regarded it with a raised eyebrow of distaste.

"Why don't you try it on?" Warner suggested, nodding for the door to her private bathroom.

He was deliberately asking - no, insisting - she try on this scandalous dress in her own office bathroom, and the way he said it was a warning that it wasn't a request. She said nothing, simply pulled the dress out, ignoring the jewelry, and headed for her bathroom to change out of her all-black-velvet uniform - ruched top and slim pants, as well as her patent pumps - and into the scandalous dress.

The moment she slipped on the garment and looked herself over in the mirror, she saw that there was an air of the sorceress in its formal hues and lines. She stepped out of the bathroom unwillingly, wishing that Jonathan saw her in this as he did the night she wore the red sparkle one. Warner looked her over with that look she despised so much, Joan glaring at him when he paid her no mind but gave Iris a little smile of appreciation. "Very lovely. I can't wait to see you on the night of the party."

Iris opened her mouth to speak, but there was a knock on her door. It was Carl. The first thing he noticed was Iris in the dress, giving her a confused look at seeing the head doctor in such a formal dress at this time, then changed his expression to hatred when he saw the man he hated as much as Iris and everyone else did. "You're the least person I expected to see," he said coolly. "Because one of our patients, Mr. Dean, is anxious for his favorite caregiver to see him."

Warner nodded. "I apologize, Mr. Carl. I was just giving Miss DeLaine her dress for our engagement party tomorrow night." He winked at Iris. "Until tomorrow, my dear."

"It's doctor to you, Mr. Warner," Joan returned with a snarl. "Oh, Iris, I should say that you look very beautiful right now. Except for the occasion," she added uneasily, just as Warner was leaving them behind.

"Same here," Iris agreed, walking back into the bathroom to change. She came out less than three minutes later with the dress neatly folded and placed it back into the box. Part of her wanted to throw this dreadful thing away, but she knew what would happen if she did that. Another part of her wondered how Jonathan was doing right now at this time.

~o~

What had he done? Perhaps he should have obeyed and left Iris alone when he had the chance, to protect both of them when he should have…

No.

No, he decided, he had done the right thing. He loved Iris, his dark-haired vixen, with every fiber of his being, so Warner had a death wish to insinuate something like that. He had no right or willpower to separate them. But this man had done them both a fresh wrong now than he'd done to Jonathan years ago - he'd long ago crushed down the memories of that large, sweaty body oppressing him and all. But now he was on the verge of taking away the only woman he'd ever loved from him. Jonathan shivered, settling on drawing himself into deeper hatred, nibbling his thumbnail. The afternoon was drawing to an end, and Warner would be home soon to force him out of his room to have dinner with him now that he no longer had a job…

Oh, shit, speaking of which, he wondered how the library was doing without him. Well, on second thought, he wasn't at risk of being fired given he ran the place. That is if he was ever going to find a way out of here soon.

The doorknob was suddenly turning, and the door opened, and he was back against the wall where the bed was resting. Warner had returned sooner than he'd hoped. When the door finally opened, there stood a familiar sexy redhead in a tight green floral dress and suede boots accompanied by an adorable face with blonde hair and a red daisy tee saying Life is good tucked into white shorts. Jonathan, though shocked as he was, was relieved and delighted all the same that his unexpected rescuers were here at last. "Oh, Harley! Pamela! You girls came!" He bolted off the bed and surged forward to hug the harlequin girl, but pulled her girlfriend in with a free arm. He was on the verge of sobbing with relief. Pamela seemed to sense his distress and placed a hand on his back to rub it in circles.

"Hey, hey now, Jonny, don't stress. The old codger isn't even on his way home anytime soon yet, which gave us time to bust you out before Iris' hours were up."

"Iris!" At the mention of his new fiancée, he looked up from wiping his wet and perhaps now-reddened eyes with the sleeve of his new, clean denim shirt and then rolling it and the other up to his elbows. "Is she -?"

"Yes, she's fine. Except we've been keeping tabs on the old windbag all day." Pamela held up her right hand and counted off her fingers for the events of the day. "First, he leaves his house to do some shopping and picked out a dress for her for their engagement party tomorrow night…" Jonathan groaned. He wanted so badly to crash that party with the help of his friends and end it all, but then Warner would have reported him for vandalism. Pamela was still speaking even when they were leaving the house for the van parked across the street. "Second, he visits her at the hospital and makes her try on that dress he buys her -"

"Wait, wait, what?!" Jonathan stopped where he was and whipped his head up. "She changed in front of him?!"

The plant vixen held up both her hands in an effort to calm him down. "No, she changed in her private bathroom and then came out in it, nothing more until Dr. Leland showed up." She whistled. "Oh, does she hate him as much as we do. Much worse than everyone hated you when you still ran the nuthouse." Jonathan glared at her, and she quickly changed the topic. "So, then Joan called us and alerted us about the situation, saying where you might be given your lady knew where you'd be. And here we are," she finished by the time they were settled in the white van. "We even had time to snoop Warner's house for what Nygma was talking about the night Blue fired the bullet up his ass."

Jonathan laughed at the memory, and then he heard what had been said about what Edward had said about finding concrete evidence… "What did you guys find?" he asked, buckling himself in right beside Harley, who sat in the middle of them both, Pamela in the driver's seat and bringing them out and away from the scene as fast as she could while keeping to the limit.

The redhead pursed her plump lips together in a tight line, while Harley let out a sigh of anxiety. Immediately Jonathan knew that what they found he was not going to like. Pamela kept her hands on the wheel as she drove them from Warner's neighborhood. "You ain't gonna like this, Jonny," Harley said, her voice on the verge of cracking as she reached for Pamela's right coat pocket facing her, pulling out something that looked like an album book. The cover was thick red leather, and it was filled thickly with pages. "There are eight others in there…and you," she finished with a quivering lip, looking as though she was going to throw up at any minute. With shaky fingers, Jonathan opened up the book and just about retched at what he saw.

He wasn't the first that Warner sexually abused…nor was he the last.

The others before him were in the same situations that he had been - but right now he was too focused on the pictures that showed him in the ways that he'd been forced to satisfy the monstrous professor's beastly appetites…everything from his hands bound behind him while he bent over the armrest of the couch, ass in the air, to his nude body spread eagle fashion on the bed, to graphic photographs of his shaved pubic region…until finally his stomach and mind couldn't take it anymore and slammed the book shut, breath hyperventilating and his mind racing.

How could this man violate the lives of nine people - including himself - and get away with it? Well, the only answer he had was that they had the evidence to put him in jail for the rest of his life. Not that he had much longer to live anyways. He didn't know how long he'd been in shaking mode and staring ahead at the road until he felt a hand on his arm, and jumped. "Jonny?" Harley asked tentatively. "Are ya okay?"

"I will be once I know he's gone for good," Jonathan answered hotly. "So, ladies, what's the next plan?"

~o~

"You've got to be kidding me," Jon hissed under his breath as he, Edward, Jervis, and Pamela hid in the dense trees that shielded them from the view of the three old guys on the shore of the lake. Queen's Lake was miles away from Gotham City, between Iris' home and her grandmother's estate left to Alice, and this was a good way to execute the next plan in their grand scheme. Today was the day of the engagement party, but it was only an hour away, which meant that whatever Harley planned to do - and he hoped it was cutting the rented jet skis free, as she'd told Edward - would result in Warner being unable to attend the party and let Iris get away unscathed throughout the whole event. Good thing Drew gave Edward the day off with the excuse that Joan needed his help with her pregnancy if he even fell for it. Edward hated lying to his future cousin-in-law, but this was bigger than the latest creation right now. Even Joan had been supportive enough to lie for him.

And he could not stop thinking about what Ivy and Harley found at Warner's house.

Seeing those hideous, torturing photographs of graphic positions of Jon and eight other young adults who suffered at the hands of an old predator who used their bright futures to his advantage to savor their bodies and tear apart their lives. And seeing said predator sitting on the beach shore and shacking with a couple of other old codgers, drinking beer - and probably making offensive jokes about Iris' insecurities, maybe about other young adults they had their eyes on, made him want to load his grandfather's shotgun at the family estate and pull the trigger on each and every one of them.

"Guys, I don't feel comfortable here," Jon complained. "I really don't think this is necessary right now. Can we just head back?"

Now that he said that, Edward had the feeling that he needed to get back to Joan, but Pamela was there before him. "Hold on, Jonathan," she said, patting his back. "Let Harley do her thing."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Jon grumbled. "I just hope she doesn't do anything crazier than she told us." For a moment, Edward agreed with him, but they all knew the harlequin would be as reckless as the Joker was.

And Pamela was sticking up for her as she always would. "Don't you worry, boys. All she's going to do is tell them off."

Okay, now Edward realized that he should never have trusted the harlequin with this. Once again, reckless, but he said it anyway. "I thought she was going to cut their jet skis free."

Jervis jerked his head up at them, confusion written all over his face. "What happened to taking a leak in their suntan lotion?"

Okay, that was just plain disgusting, even for poor Jervis to handle, Edward knowing how fainthearted the other man was. "Wait," Jon piped up, just as baffled as he was, "she told me she was going to steal their beer."

It soon dawned on all of them that Harley Quinn planned something more extreme than they originally thought. Jon sighed heavily. "Harley," was all he muttered.

Edward shook his head and looked back up ahead to watch the three old men talk and joke about whatever it was that old windbags like themselves do every day. And that was when he saw the familiar red-clad figure silently creeping up to where their beer cooler was resting only some feet away from them, and their backs turned. "Oh, there she is."

As they all watched, Harley gave the trio a sneaky smirk and then winked at her friends in the trees as she opened the lid of the beer cooler. Shit, looked like she was doing what she told Jon all along: stealing the beer. "All right, she's taking the beer," Jon whispered, then raised his volume only a little bit so that Harley could hear, but not the fools ahead of them. "Okay, hurry up, Harley. Come on."

Unfortunately, Harley ended up doing more than taking the beer.

"What's she doing?" Jon asked in disbelief. Even Edward couldn't put that into words, except for the fact that Harley reached into her skirt and pulled it up from the bottom - but not enough to show what he didn't want to see - and withdrew something from her underwear. A bomb. It wasn't large, but upon detonation, it would explode the contents and grab enough attention.

"Oh, Harley," Pamela moaned as she leaned into Edward's shoulder to hide her face from what her girlfriend did instead of telling the guys off like she'd promised her. Same here with what she'd told Edward, Jon, and Jervis.

Once it was over, she gave a big grin first at the targets and then at Edward and the others.

"About time," Edward grumbled. He was about to hiss at the blonde to hurry up when the latter was signaling for him and the others to retreat to the van that was parked a few feet away from where they were now. But Edward stopped where he was, just around the van's corner, to see Harley now where the group had been, facing the site, where Warner was leaving his place beside his friends and walking for the cooler for a beer for either himself or all three. Good thing Edward had a view past Harley's shoulder to see what was happening. The moment Warner opened the cooler - the area was rocked by the minor impact that Harley's bomb went off.

The man was sent flying backward onto his backside, staring at the flame and smoke in shock, his friends turning and joining him. From the way his mouth moved, he said, "What the -?"

"Hey, dirthead!" Harley shouted, drawing his attention at once, Edward taking this as his cue to rush into the van with Jon, Pamela, and Jervis, and Harley followed not too late after, quickly starting the engine and ramming them forward with great speed.

"HARLEY!" Jon and Edward yelled, clinging to each other with desperation, Pamela hollering at the top of her lungs at the same time. Jervis, however, sat where he was, frozen in shock. Harley was cackling all the while, even when the van suddenly jerked violently as though being pulled backward, but it kept moving. "Harley, what the hell?!" Edward shouted angrily. "What the hell did you do this time?"

"Besides dropping a bomb in the beer cooler?" She shrugged casually. "I roped their jet skis to the van, dragged them, and crashed them into the trees."

"You did WHAT?!" Jon exclaimed, eyes wide to the point of saucers. "What happened to just stealing their beer?"

"And cutting their jet skis free?" Edward agreed.

"Taking a leak in their suntan lotion?" Jervis unwillingly added.

"That's right, Harl," Ivy put in, just as mad as they all were. "You are worse than your puddin' when you say you were of your word."

"Oh, I am, Red," Harley cooed to her, then grinned at everyone's disgusted faces. "But you gotta admit it," she added cheerfully as she drove them home "safe and sound", "that was so much better. Now they have hours to walk home - or maybe trouble calling for help due to bad service or no one available - and lots of damage to pay for." She laughed high to the heavens all the rest of the way back.

~o~

Life was insane on so many levels, not that she hadn't known or considered it before. No further words were needed for that. Iris looked around and gave a sniff at the Starlight Ballroom, under the soaring arched ceiling and chandelier, giving her the feel of being in the ballroom of Beauty and the Beast but without her prince, who was currently staying at Alice and Jervis' estate safe and sound. Her heart pounded with relief and swelled with the thought that Warner had not touched him as she feared he would. But that did not stop the fact that he would soon show up anytime now. Here she also was in the velvet-and-brocade sorceress' dress, with her hair up in a twisted bun behind the top of her head, studded around with rhinestone hairpins. Earrings in X's and dangling with silver hung her ears, and a bracelet in a swirly design and accented with stones to match the dress cuffed her left wrist.

"How obnoxious," Alice told her, standing next to her in a one-shouldered Chinese ink satin dress in colors of red, black, and white with her hair in long, cascading curls with a champagne flute in hand. Iris eyed that and then looked down at her sister's abdomen.

"Alice, you can't drink, remember?" she reminded her. Alice had recently found out that she was pregnant, but she was actually a couple of weeks along and had only found out the previous day. She only laughed airily and took a small sip.

"The doctor said I could have just one glass per occasion, just nothing margarita-related, or rum, or beer, or anything related." She then looked around. "So, the man of the hour hasn't shown up?"

"Not yet." Iris shook her head. "I have the feeling he's passed out drunk from hanging with his friends before coming here. Got too carried away, you know?" She laughed at her own joke, sharing it with Alice before they were approached by a waitress.

"Excuse me, Doctor, but there's a phone call for you. Your fiancé."

"Well, what do you know?" Alice joked, following her into the lobby to where the pay phones were located. Iris picked up the one that had been pointed out to her.

"Let me guess, you're going to be late and leave me alone with our guests," Iris said, not wanting to give him the chance to give a greeting.

"More than that, I'm afraid, my dear. My friends and I were at the lake spending sometime before I came." He muttered something under his breath that she couldn't make out, and she winked at Alice. "Let's just say that, for short, some lunatic woman in red tied our jet skis to her van and dragged them into the trees, not long before she ruined our beer cooler with a bomb explosion."

Alice had been leaning in to listen, and both of them knew exactly what he was talking about, and who he was talking about, and she was so close to screaming a laugh before Iris slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about that. So, does that mean you'll be a lot later than I thought?"

He sounded disappointed when he responded. "I'm afraid it's more than that. I won't be able to attend at all. We had bad phone service, had to walk all the way out back into the city, and were picked up like hitchhikers. Now I'm too exhausted to come. You'll have to entertain our guests on your own."

Perfect. No having to deal with him tonight then. She had other ideas of how to handle the night after this event, then. She smirked at Alice when she spoke. "Promise me you'll make it up to me when we marry tomorrow?" Which isn't going to happen.

"Oh, you know I will, dear Iris. I especially can't wait to make tomorrow night beautiful for my little bride." Her stomach churned at that, and she quickly hung up.

"What are you going to do now?" Alice asked nervously.

Iris smiled. "Whatever it is we do best."

Chapter is longer than normal, but it was worth it. XD I loved that one scene in "American Reunion" with the lake and the cooler - this time with a bomb - as well as the jet skis tied to the van and rammed into the trees, etc.

I thought it appros to also bring in Eddie's prized game from the episode of BTAS "If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?" His debut and descent into being the Riddler.

We got a couple more chapters left and then this is drawn to a close. But overall, this is one of the best pieces I've ever done, and could not have done this without Vytina's help. :D