Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

First story written in single-person view and first actual harem story, read and review!

I hope this chapter is okay, I wrote it in two hours and kind of jumped all over the place; and it takes a major break from canon. It's the first mystery I wrote.

Chapter 4: An actual trial? You got the Right!

Life's a bitch. It treats you well one second, then swoops in and steals everything. Honesty, I should've seen this coming.

Soon, there'll be less dicks in this school….but no answers to why we're here, how Monokuma knows so much about us…and how much he was involved in my family's destruction.

XXX

The private pool party signaled the end of good times at Hope's Peak; me, my gals, water and bathing suits?

Well, I technically had to get naked after Muku pulled me in….but the girls didn't complain; Maizono and Kirgiri even think the scar Leon gave me, no matter how small, is sexy.

So, what's gone wrong you may ask? Is my condition getting worse? Did Monokuma drop another reason to kill that I actually consider? Have my girls ditched me?

….

If you were in front of me, I'd break your face in for even implying that last one. After punching myself for thinking that.

My hair's starting to fall out and my headaches are getting worse and worse. My pills don't do anything anymore, and the school actually does not have anything stronger…at least nothing in pill form.

I'm taking injections now; the in the back kind. They don't really help, but it's the best I can get. Aoi administers them while Maizono and Kirgir hold my hand and Muku gives me breathing exercises to calm down.

Yes. I'm scared of needles. Who isn't?

Aside from Sho.

When I wake up today, my formerly short brown hair is now almost shaved off and I always have a cigarette in my mouth…though I don't light them, so it's more oral fixation.

The girls are still with me; I tell them they're free to leave the dying man alone and find another fella, but Maizono tehn points out that I'm only the decent choice. The other agree.

My life is probably getting shorter, but I still have reasons to enjoy and protect it.

XXX

Aoi Asahina, my swimming goddess. Voluptuous and the brightest smile I'd ever seen…and the face she makes when she stuffs donuts in her mouth….

She's a girl with protection; even before I came around. You mess with her; be prepared to deal with 218 pounds of pure muscle and deep seething rage:

Sakura Ogami, the Super Duper High School Level Martial Artist, known in fighting circuits as 'the ogre.' Many say it's fitting; the scars on her muscular man-like form and her deep voice.

I disagree.

Sakura's loyal, strong willed and tough as they come. Ogres are vile bullies and cowardly most of the time, Shrek and them notwithstanding.

If it'd come down to it, I'm pretty sure Sakura's the one person Mom couldn't beat in a fist-fight. Why?

I'm lucky if I last two minutes against her in a spar.

She holds nothing back on me, saying that if I want to protect Asahina, I'd better get tougher than I am already. Beating Leon and pummeling Mondo to death doesn't count in her book.

I agree, though I wish she didn't stick with the whole 'DODGE!' and hit me spiel.

Kirgiri teases me everytime I come to dinner with a black eye or busted lip, and Aoi begs Sakura to go easy on me.

Personally, I don't care; I don't have much longer, but I'll be damned if anyone hurts my reasons for waking up…which now includes Sakura herself, friendship alone being the reason.

Aoi always offers to let Sakura join our group, but Sakura makes it clear that while she finds me charming, I'm not her type.

I understand.

XXXX

My mourning starts off as usual as I does around here; untangle myself (very reluctantly) from the beauties in my room, take a shower and then go down for breakfast. Then I bounce back to my room, brush my teeth and then head to where we keep Fuji's laptop.

We've been meeting every day, with Fuji going over the files he hacked and translating them for me.

Today, I plan on watching the entire video library and cracking the mystery that is Muku-chan's alias; Junko Enoshima.

The name had to come from somewhere, even if she doesn't remember where it is. She's a model, I know that, but what's her connection to Muku? That, I and I want her to act like herself; a rough and tough, military gal? She'd get along great with everybody…but for some reason she can't tell me, she can't drop her cover.

With that in mind, I pull out my thermos of Joe and down a cup; freshly pressed by Celes herself with sweeteners recommended by Aoi and Sakura.

But as I get closer to the steam bath, I hear arguing. Yamada and Ishida. I'm almost about to wait for them to blow up, so that I can talk with Fuji in secret.

Then I see why.

….

Fuji's not there.

…..

"Fellas." I sigh. "I promise I won't be mad….just tell me which of you took Fuji."

The two point to each other and continue arguing over whatever the hell they seem to think Fuji is…And I don't give a damn.

My little brother…my precious, adorable, simulated little brother…has been kidnapped, for lack of a better term.

I crack my knuckles, and a smile overtakes my face.

"I have been waiting for an excuse to beat you two up." I grin. "Almost as much as Togami."

Said billionaire, his arm in a sling and an eyepatch covering the eye I rammed his glasses into, whimpers.

I turn around to see almost everyone has assembled, no doubt brought to the area by the voices of the loud mouthed hall monitor.

Celes. Uncousious, a bruise on her head. Maizono and Kirgri help her to feet, where she tells us that someone was waiting and hit her. She'd sure he was a robot.

….

A robot.

Well, we got a teddy bear for a principal, so why not?

"I got ya, Aoi." I take her into my arms, letting her nestle in…before we hear another scream. Celeste takes Aoi from me and demands I go and see what's going on; Maizono and Kirgri found Ishimaru, his brains splattered all over the floor.

Before we can move, Aoi screams again. I rush back to her Celes, who explains and points to the…missing body of Yamada.

I'm personally finding it hard to care about either death, but their bodies vanishing has my interest.

Muku then hollers, and we find both bodies in a pool of…whatever that purple stuff is. I've bled red, so I doubt its blood.

Okay, when did this turn into a Disney flick…? Oh wait, never mind. He's dead a minute later. Though, I got to give him credit for taking two blows to the head before finally dying.

With his last breath, Yamada gasps a name; the bum, aka Hagakure.

The second I hear that, realize something:

This was Celes' plan. The plan I convinced her not to do.

Someone stole my gambler's idea. That pisses me off. Bad enough someone had the audacity to hit her, which alone is ging to put me on a warpath, but above all else….

No one. Steals. Anything. From my ladies.

I want to say Togami. Dear gods above and below, I want to say Togami. Just so I can see him dragged off and watch as Monokuma does something oddly fitting to him for his punishment…like feeding him cash until he bursts. And all the while, my girls and I will be watching, and I'll pretend to be disgusted and comfort them…..but then I'll kiss Toka/Sho and smirk at his dying form, letting him know I'VE got the one person who actually gave a damn about him, and he treated her poorly.

He does have motivation; with his whole 'this is a game' line of thought, it'd only take some time before he decided to off somebody. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's smart enough to get away with it if he really wanted to.

The money is also a potential reason; though I doubt it alone is the reason he may have offed someone; his great-grandkids will never have to work, he's got so much cash.

And then there's my breaking his arm and blinding him in one eye….

But, the private dick in me reminds me; never assume someone did it without proof. As much as I hate to say it, one of my….

Suddenly, something starts coming up my throat as Monokuma gives us 3 hours to investigate. I freeze and put my hand to my mouth.

I puke up blood and fall to me knees, my ladies rushing to me. I then fall flat on my back as a sharp pain fills my body: my head, my stomach, even my hands and legs.

I let out a scream that is heard throughout the school. I swear that I hear Monokuma laughing it up.

Sakura pins me down as the others ask me what's wrong. After that, everything goes blank.

XXX

I wake up in my bed, some dried blood on my pillow. The pain has dulled, but I move slower to keep my body from erupting in pain again.

Turning to the clock, I see that it's only been an hour since I feel asleep.

Forcing myself to my feet, I review everything that's happened: Fuji has been kidnapped (and yes, I shall call it that), and the two most likely culprits are dead.

The door opens, and my girls help me to my feet, telling what little they've learnt:

Hagukure was found in the closet in a robot costume. He claims someone overpowered him and forced him into the suit, but only Celes and Kirgiri are giving him the benefit of the doubt. Togami lead a search of the scences…and Maizono and Muku are pretty sure he tampered with evidence.

He's REALLY not helping my wanting to be professional while secretly hoping he's the one.

"I need to see the scenes." I say. "I've always said I'm a detective as well….Time for me to prove it."

Sakura takes me into her arms and we rush to the scenes, the girls behind us.

"I need a chemistry set, fingerprint kit and a blood reading machine." I say, forgetting the name after losing a pint of blood from the mouth and still tasting iron.

XXXX

Eventually, the time comes to converge and decide who did it.

Aoi, bless her, actually shuts the bear up, so he falls asleep until we choose who did it.

By looks an appearances, it looks like Hagukure did it; he was in a robot suit, the same that attacked Yamada. The two were not crucified with scissors, so it can't be Sho.

"Togami." I say. "Shut up before you lose the other eye. At least I didn't tamper with evidence."

He smirks and claims he did it make the….you know interesting.

Sho actually throws scissors at him, calling his disrespectful to the 'bond' of killer and detective…I frankly can't be bothered to care to comment on that.

"But the killer made one critical mistake." I smirk, downing some water. "Moving the bodies. Kiri-chan, would you care to take over?"

She blushes ever so slightly, revealing that Yamada was act ally alive when Aoi and Celes first found him; my gambler said she saw his chest move slightly, but figured it was the blow to her head.

Then she lets me drop the bombshell: I found Yamada's fingerprints on Ishida's body.

No one reacts initially with anything else but shock, but the bear is pissed that there was a co-op kill, which he feels are against the rules.

"You never said that." I smirk.

"Don't think just because you're almost dead you're off the hook pal." Monokuma glares. I simply stick out my blood covered tongue and give him two middle fingers…. Apparently, it's enough to make Sho declare she'll be touching herself to that image.

Togami then finally spins his tale against me; with my health growing worse and worse, I became desperate to see the outside world once again, so I conned the nerd to kill Ishida on the grounds on stealing Fuji to see Mondo. Then I killed him to keep him quiet, and framed Hagukure to throw suspicion on me. That way, I'd have three less rivals for the girls' affections.

I burst into laughter, almost blood leak from my mouth again.

"YOU GOT THAT WRONG!" I declare loudly, firing a random bullet that doesn't do anything…then I go back to laughing, falling the floor and spinning in fits of laughter.

"That's actually a pretty good theory." I gasp between laughs. "Seriously, for once you're actually acting like the genius you claim to be. But…there's one problem with it: I got nothing outside this building. And while I certainly don't planning on dying in it, I certainly ain't going to leave without my gals."

I look at each and every one of them, making it clear I mean what I say.

"And besides." I finish my spiel. "If I was going to kill any of you fellas…it'd be you, Togami."

"So then, who did it?" Muku asks.

I enter a thinking pose and whip a cigarette into my mouth. I light it up for the sake of looking cool.

"Who did it?" I say aloud, looking to roof. "This is the critical moment, the big reveal of not only this murderer, but everything in general."

That gets everybody's attention.

"Yeah, hurry this up!" Monokuma hollers. "You crack this case, I get to kill someone and show you were the laptop is…"

He then realizes his slip.

"Too late." I smirk. "It's actually pretty clear. The killer is…."

I point to Monokuma.

"MONOKUMA, or rather, his operator…the REAL JUNKO ENOSHIMA, SISTER OF MUKURO IKUSABA, WHO MOST OF US KNOW AS JUNKO!"

The bear goes silent. Muku then takes off her wig, revealing herself….finally. She smiles, salutes and blows me a kiss.

"There were supposed to 16 students…yet we've been one short from the get go." I say. "That was the first clue."

The bear then leaps toward me, but I manage to duck and start dodging his slashes as I continue my explanation.

"The second clue was the fact that Muku-chan alone knew about Junko Enoshima….Yeah she had stalkers as a model, but no one can pull off an act like that without even the tiniest slip, unless they knew that person inside out. Muku revealing herself to me was the first hint that she was behind all this. I assume Junko intended to kill her so that she could operate in secret."

That fills me with complete and utter rage; being a former proud big brother myself, I can't fathom any of that Cain and Abel stuff.

The bear puppet tries to explode before I continue, but Sakura manages to punch it away. I grin at the sight of some of the soot hitting Togami.

"But the biggest clue came from Fuji's backed up files." I declare as I reach into my jacket and unsheathe mom's old, sawed off Magnum .44. I then take off the head of another bear bot, I then pull out a photo of all of us…in a classroom.

"Hope's Peak was supposed to be a safe haven for us." I confess, taking Kirigri into my arms as she begins crying and saying 'father.' "But Junko corrupted it; killed the real principal and altered our memories. I realized that once I started losing my hair and found a scar. Kiri-chan, I know this'll be painful, but can you please take over? I have revenge to extract."

There's no need, Junko appears and begins speaking in various tones, detailing how we have nothing to live for.

I don't listen to a word she says, walking towards her and smacking away Monokuma bears.

"So, what, like, gave me away?" She asks coyly. "My fingerprints?"

"A bit of skin." I confess, leveling my gun at her face. "Open the doors."

"You wouldn't hurt me." Junko smiles, walking seductively and getting up and close in my face. "I can tell you everything…and you'd despair at hitting a lady."

I smile back…then empty mom's pistol into her face.

"You ain't no lady." I hiss.

Just then, everything goes white.

XXXX

I then wake up….

I'm outside. In a dessert.

Cliché.

Fitting, this story started and ends with one….

Hope's Peak is nowhere to be seen.

The world clearly ain't a shit hole though…

I then move just in time to see two swords rain down. Holding them is a kid with blue hair.

"Sorry pal, but you're my hit."

I race towards him and punch him, but he lands on his feet.

"Who're you?"

"Name's Nagisa, but call me Buratto pūru." The kid smiles as he pulls down his mask; a Deadpool mask. "It rhymes with Borrito-pool and…that's pretty much it."

We then rush towards each other; I've got girls to find and protect…no wannabe killer is going to keep me down.

To be continued in the upcoming…

Harboiled Nagei vs. Nagisa, the Assassin with a mouth!

Naegi and Nagisa find themselves teaming up when they learn Junko was in partnership with certain individuals with the goals of spreading despair….and the fights are going to get more and more personal.

Note; this fic will still be updated, but now with lemons with Naegi and his girls in noir-like settings. First up; Maizono the dancer.

Read, review and offer suggestions.