Chapter 5

Zim woke some time before Dib once again, but this time he didn't panic. Dib still had his arm draped around his belly, though his grip had gone slack. Zim didn't mind the feeling, so he just lay there for a time, staring up at the tangle of cables in his ceiling. Apparently the Dib human could sleep for Earth. He supposed he had sustained substantial injuries though, perhaps he would let him off this time.

Once the ceiling grew sufficiently boring Zim shifted so that he could look at the sleeping human instead. He looked so peaceful, a strange contrast to the bruises that marred his body. Dib had managed to protect most of his face so that wasn't too damaged, but the shades of blue and purple still crept across his cheek and it caused a nauseating twinge in Zim's belly. He could see the stress of it all showing in the shadows under the boy's eyes as well, and knew he shouldn't wake him. He was such a scrawny human, he could use all the rest he could get. It was the weekend too, so he really had no reason to get up.

Zim contemplated for a while why it upset him so much to see the boy get hurt. He couldn't even logically criticise the human brutes for what they'd done, as he knew that Irken's acted much the same. They were effectively galactic bullies, stomping through space and crushing any species that took their fancy. At least the Irken's had their compassionate emotions removed before they acted though, it was easy to kill when you didn't feel anything. These humans knew could feel guilt and remorse but didn't, he was pretty sure that was worse. Then he remembered what he'd done to them was far worse, and that was with his emotions. His head started to spin with confusion. Surely it was down to his emotions that he'd acted, but hadn't he acted for the right reasons? So did that make emotions good? Bad? Useless? Vital? He'd have to decide at some point, but right now it was just giving him a headache.

He then realised he was still staring at the sleeping Dib, and swiftly remembered the trouble that had gotten him in yesterday morning and turned away. He knew it would probably be several hours before the boy stirred, but he didn't need any more rest. Yesterday over sleeping had left him feeling horribly groggy so he decided to just get up while he still felt refreshed. He gave the boy one last lingering look before slipping away from the loose grip around his waist.

Zim shivered as the cool air hit his bare hands and feet. Feeling horribly exposed he quickly located his gloves and boots and slipped them back on. The human created such a delightful warmth that he wasn't used to, and it made him feel so sleepy and comfortable. Irkens weren't quite cold-blooded like reptiles but their bodies were cooler than a humans. The life support of their paks allowed them to function at a lower temperature, so it kept them just warm enough to function efficiently but that was all. Being comfortable didn't usually come into it.

He shivered again and frowned in irritation. He'd never really noticed he was cold before sleeping next to the boy because he hadn't known what he'd been missing. It was a habit he never should have succumbed to, but that feeling of peaceful contentment was so damn addictive.

Best to get to work and try to forget it. He should really get going on his plan as he hadn't spent any real time on it yet, so he took himself down into his lab. He had only mocked up some rough prototype plans during lesson time – when he'd been able to concentrate that was. There was a few options available to him based on Membrane's blue prints. The Earth had so many vulnerabilities that the Professor had considered could be taken advantage of as a weapon, but Zim wanted to use one that could be adapted to use on any planet.

One that particularly caught his attention was a device that was designed to drill down into the earth to mess with the fault lines, and trigger devastating earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. It seemed to be on the discarded side of the Professors inventions, rejected due to being too high risk and potentially uncontrollable. But that was what made it so good to Zim, he just wanted to take it a step further. He would drill much deeper than the professor ever imagined possible, potentially even right down into the core of the planet. There he could mess with the inner workings of the planet to alter the Earth's angle and thus the orbit.

He'd hooked his computer up to the human's local 'internet' as they called it, and used their own resources to discover what kind of changes in orbit Earth had endured in the past. A naturally occurring ice age would probably impede the humans, but a sudden induced shift in orbit could trigger a devastating one. Move the Earth a smidge closer to the sun and they would all fry. Imagine if he could make that happen on cue - they could cleanse a planet by barely lifting a finger. And more than that, should a planet not have quite the right conditions to suit Irkens they could just tweak it a bit to make it just right.

So he got going on his epic project, for once feeling hopeful and quite enjoying the work. It had been a while since he felt he had a real purpose and it was good to feel like his old self again, only now he had the smarts to actually succeed. It was thrilling that things finally made sense, and everything that usually didn't click in his head working perfectly. That combined with the feeling of being so refreshed and full of energy from the blissful night's sleep had him functioning at a remarkable speed. He soon found himself completely absorbed.

A few hours later Dib began to stir. He groggily tried to move and found that his body was exceptionally stiff and sore, bringing everything that had happened back to him. Every inch of his skin felt tender and his ribs still ached, but he knew it was nothing to what he would have been feeling if Zim hadn't fixed him up.

He reached an arm out and realised he was alone when it hit the vacant sofa. He opened his eyes to confirm this, and felt quite disappointed to find the room empty. He was sure he had fallen asleep with Zim cuddled up to him… hadn't he? He had been quite out of it, maybe he had dreamt the whole thing. Dib felt a bit despondent either way. He hoped he hadn't been dreaming it, but he felt a bit down that Zim hadn't stayed. He knew the alien didn't need sleep like he did though and tried to brush it off.

Shakily he sat up, his head swimming. His tummy growled emptily, but he decided he would find out what Zim was up to first and check that he was okay. His behaviour had been so erratic lately. Stiffly he clambered down into the base until he found the room where Zim worked. The Irken was bent over the console so engrossed in his project that he didn't notice Dib enter the chamber, so Dib hung back to get a good look at what adorned the screens. He couldn't believe how much Zim had done already, when had he started this? He quickly got a grasp of what Zim was trying to make and it sent a shudder through him. He hoped he had made the right choice by encouraging Zim to make this thing. Heaven help them if Zim ever turned it on the Earth.

Dib felt a wave of sorrow wash over him. Zim had already done so much, how soon until he was finished? When he'd suggested the plan to Zim he'd only been thinking of how distraught and lost the alien had been, and he'd wanted to help him earn the respect Dib had never been able to achieve from his own people. But now it was all really happening he realised the only outcome if this plan succeeded was that Zim would leave Earth, and he was fairly sure he didn't want that. Seeing the Irken work so passionately on it now only made it harder. Zim was so desperate to leave Earth, he hated it here and he hated humans.

Hopelessness suddenly overwhelmed him, his throat clenching at the thought. Zim had been clinging to him so much lately - he'd been so sure the alien had been enjoying his company but now he felt so doubtful. Was he just being used? Would Zim even think of Dib after he left? Would he miss him?

Dib turned away from the Irken, unable to face him in that moment. He probably shouldn't disturb him anyway, and he had his own stuff to get on with like eating, getting a change of clothes, chores, homework… the thought didn't help his mood. Silently he slipped back into the shadows and left.

Zim had been working on his plan for most of the day. He had even created a large new room for his base even deeper within the Earth, in which he had begun construction of the actual device. The speed he had been able to work at was exhilarating. Never mind that, it was just amazing that nothing was exploding.

He felt like his efficiency was partly down to his good mood. He'd had a good night's rest knowing that he'd saved the Dib and fixed the worst of his wounds, and felt reassured knowing the boy slept upstairs. He found it was a pleasing sensation knowing he was here where he could protect him from those monsters. He also kept thinking about the lip pressing incident too, and the giddiness it made him feel seemed to spur him on even more.

He was eager to question the Dib about this action, which led him to wondering if the boy was still sleeping. Zim wasn't sure how long he'd been working for but it must have been several hours, and he had expected Dib to have come looking for him by now. He felt a small pang of worry at this and decided it was time to go and check on him. He set down his tools and hopped swiftly into the lift, which carried him up to the house level.

He stepped out into the kitchen as the doors swished open, and marched optimistically toward the lounge area. However his heart sank as his eyes fell on the abandoned couch, and his sharp stance slumped. He supposed he shouldn't find it strange that Dib had left. He had his own life and human needs to get on with after all, but still he couldn't help but feel disappointed. Had he done something wrong? He thought the boy might at least have said something before going. Zim racked his brains but couldn't come up with anything.

He glanced at the windows and saw that it was already pretty dark outside, which meant he'd been working even longer than he'd thought. Oh well, might as well get back to it then. He slipped back down into his base, feeling deflated.

Once back in his lab he picked up his tools again and tried to remember where he'd been up to, but no matter what he did he couldn't seem to get anything right. He just couldn't concentrate any more and his thoughts kept straying to the Dib. And then another disappointing thought occurred to him. He'd spent the last couple of nights with the boy, and though he knew that couldn't happen every day he still didn't like the thought that tonight he would be deprived of that comfort. He didn't even need sleep tonight he tried to argue with himself. Two nights of sleep was gluttonous as it was for an Irken.

He shivered slightly, feeling insecure. Why should he suddenly feel so different? He had been working perfectly well before he found out the boy was gone, it shouldn't make any difference. He made another mistake which resulted in a burnt claw, and he threw the tool away cussing in frustration. His worry churned into anger at himself. How had he ended up in this state of dependency? He didn't need a human boy to live efficiently. He was supposed to be an Irken for Tallest's sake. Wasn't that the whole point of what he was doing, so that he could live as a proper Irken again and leave this stinking world behind?

That realisation chilled the anger right out of him. For some reason that was the first time he'd twigged that if his plan succeeded he'd probably never see the Dib again. Did that bother him? It left a sinking feeling in the pit of his squeedly-spooch that he was sure didn't feel good. But wasn't going back to Irk and being respected by his own people everything he'd ever wanted? Somehow it didn't sound quite as enticing as it had before. He felt so conflicted, what was it that he actually wanted?

Suddenly working on the plan didn't appeal to him all that much and he looked at his creation miserably. He began to feel that same panic from yesterday creeping in, nibbling at his guts, and decided he had to go and find the Dib human. The boy would cheer him back up and make everything make sense again like he always did. He smiled a bit to himself at the thought, and rushed back up to the house eagerly flicking his disguise on as he went.

Dib slumped despondently at his desk. He was still dwelling on that morning, unable to stop wondering how soon Zim would end up leaving and homework and chores weren't exactly great distractions. Working as hard as he was Zim would have his invention completed in no time. Dib wished he hadn't left so rashly now. He'd acted like a sulky kid storming off, but he wondered if Zim had even noticed. He should have stayed and distracted the Irken from his work or something, but then he realised how silly that sounded too.

He dropped his pen, giving up on his schoolwork for now. He just couldn't concentrate any longer and was too distracted by wondering when he'd next see Zim. They didn't really have any reason to seek each other out and he doubted whether the Irken would attend school after the incident, it was probably too risky.

As if on cue, movement caught Dib's eye in the reflection of his computer screen. He turned around to see Zim's human face peering in through his window sheepishly, suspended by his spider legs outside. The Irken flinched as he was caught red handed, his eyes widening as they locked with Dibs. Not sure what else to do Zim dropped his eyes shamefacedly, and began pawing softly at the glass to be let in. Dib smiled at how cute it was, feeling relieved to see him. He climbed onto his bed and pulled the window open.

"Hey, you alright?" Dib asked uncertainly, not sure what to expect. Zim hung there awkwardly, fidgeting.

"I just wanted to check if you were ok… after yesterday." Zim muttered avoiding eye contact, "I didn't realise you'd left." Dib looked away shiftily.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks to you. I'm sorry I left. I just had stuff to do, you know?" Dib answered feebly, and Zim just nodded.

"So… Zim didn't do anything wrong?" The Irken asked in a tiny voice.

"No of course you didn't! I'm sorry Zim," Dib smiled in bemusement – this hadn't been what he'd expected from Zim at all. Without thinking he leaned out of the window and pulled Zim into a hug, just overwhelmingly relieved that Zim was here and seemed to care.

Zim stiffened, not sure what was going on or why. It felt nice though, it was cool outside and the human was pleasantly warm. It seemed he had worried over nothing again, damned feelings. When Zim didn't respond to the hug Dib pulled back though, eyeing him questioningly. The alien looked a bit freaked out at the sudden close contact, and Dib realised Zim didn't understand what he was doing.

"Jeez Zim it's just a hug." He shook his head in exasperation, but couldn't help but keep smiling.

"A 'Hug'? What is its purpose?" Zim asked apprehensively.

"It just feels good. Well at least they do to humans. We like holding each other when we're happy or make each other feel better when we're sad. It feels nice."

"Like when you grabbed me last night on the sofa? That was a hug too?"

"Umm... kind of. It's more like cuddling when you're lying in bed together. But I guess it's the same." Dib blushed at his own explanation. He was glad to hear he hadn't imagined it, but now that he thought about what he'd done he felt super embarrassed that he'd been so affectionate - it wasn't like him. He must have been really out of it.

Zim seemed to ponder his answer for a moment before reaching his arms out to Dib, his hands flexing in a 'gimme' motion at him. "Zim wants to try again. I did it wrong." Dib laughed and pulled him back into the hug, and this time the Irken tentatively put his arms around the boy. Dib was pretty sure it was the first time someone had hugged him since he was a toddler, and his heart swelled at the simple comfort of it. A fresh breeze rustled through Dib's hair and an idea struck him.

"Why don't we head up to the roof for a bit? I could do with taking a break from my work." Dib began to withdraw but Zim grabbed him tighter, his spider legs suddenly lifting the human up and off his windowsill. Dib's eyes widened in surprise as Zim gracefully carried them up to the roof, gently plopping the human down before retracting his mechanical legs. Zim surveyed the empty space, unimpressed.

"What's so great about the roof? Your room is warm and comfortable." He complained.

"It's a nice evening. Look the stars are coming out." Dib ignored the Irken's whining and lay down with his hands behind his head, gazing up at the sparkling specks.

"What's so great about the stars?" Zim sat down reluctantly, still not understanding why the boy liked sitting up here so much.

"Well to you I'm sure nothing, but for humans they're a complete mystery. I'm lucky, because of you I've been into space. Most humans will never get the chance. I spent most of my life dreaming of it, sitting here looking up." He looked wistful. "I wish I knew all about them, and which ones have inhabited planets. Would you tell me about them?" He looked at Zim hopefully.

"I suppose," Zim was unenthused. It was all common knowledge to him, just mountains of data stored in his pak. But the Dib was looking at him so excitedly, he couldn't refuse. "Well, that speck there is Kraxus 12 and it has three inhabited planets in orbit. So those are probably the ones closest to you, but that's pretty far away. Your part of space is kind of dead, there's not much around." Zim reeled off uninterestedly, but Dib's eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

"Wow, do you think we'll ever meet them?"

"Not for many thousands of years I'd expect. You can barely get to your moon." Zim scoffed, but Dib remained undeterred.

"Tell me about those planets?" So Zim complied, reciting what he considered to be boring facts but Dib ate them up, gleefully hanging on his every word. There was a slight pause while Dib considered a question.

"Which way is your planet?" Dib couldn't resist asking.

"Irk?" Zim's face fell somewhat. He gazed in the direction, he knew it so well he didn't even have to think any more. He pointed a claw in the direction. "Six months that way. In my voot cruiser anyway."

Dib wanted to ask about it, but he held back as he saw how crestfallen Zim looked. "Wow, six months…"

"You can get there faster if you have the technology, but my ship is quite tiny. I'm sure the Massive could get here much faster, and that's just based on the technology they had years ago. Who knows what they've got now." Zim trailed off despondently, realising how cut off he was from his own people. He felt chilly all of a sudden, and rubbed his arms against the breeze.

"Dib, can I ask you something human now?" Zim asked, deciding he had definitely earned his turn.

"Sure, go ahead." Dib had a feeling he knew what was coming, and swallowed nervously.

"Why did you press your lips against mine yesterday? What does that mean?" Zim looked at him inquisitively.

"Did you like it?" Dib dodged, blushing. He sat up so that he was level with Zim.

Zim thought about it for a moment. "I think so. It made me feel… strange. In my insides." Dib took confidence from this response – it was more positive than he might have expected. His tummy did a little flip. "But you didn't answer the question," Zim pestered stubbornly, and Dib knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.

"Uhh… I guess it's a bit like a hug, but a bit more personal. Usually people only do it when they're… more than friends." Dib cringed. There was no escaping it now. Zim frowned in confusion.

"But when we were in school, you were angry that those humans thought we were 'more than friends'." He air quoted the term sceptically. This wasn't quite the aspect he'd expected Zim to be confused by.

"That… It wasn't…" He stuttered, "I wasn't angry that they might think we were in one, it was more knowing what they'd do to me if they thought that we were. And I was right remember." He scowled at Zim.

"So… you do consider us 'more than friends'?" Zim still looked puzzled.

"No, I… I don't know. I feel so confused." Dib buried his face in his arms. Why did Zim have to be so difficult?

"You are hard to understand Dib-human." Zim frowned. "Does it matter what label we put on our… togetherness?" Dib looked up at that, surprised at Zim's open mindedness.

"Well… not to me. No one likes me anyway. But I thought you would mind."

"I couldn't care less what these human filthies think of me. You should know that by now." Zim said with scornfully, his eyes drifting back in the direction of Irk. Did he care what his own people would think of him for getting involved with another species? Almost definitely, but at least for now that didn't matter. "I have no idea what I feel. All I do know is that I feel less insane when you're around." Dib smiled warmly, knowing what that meant coming from Zim. They both mulled over what had been said silently, until Dib finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"So… if you liked it… do you want to try it again?" He asked sheepishly. He had almost been too afraid, terrified he'd get shot down.

Zim turned to face the Dib, eyeing him suspiciously. He felt his pulse quicken once again and couldn't seem to find his voice, so he just nodded at the boy. Dib beamed at him, and then proceeded to blush profusely. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Wait, could you turn your disguise off first?"

"What? Why?" Zim asked self-consciously glancing about. He knew no one could see them up here, but it seemed like a strange request.

"I don't know, you just don't seem like you looking like that."

"That's because I don't really look like this, moron." Zim glared at him and Dib sighed in exasperation.

"I know that. That's my point. I like how you really look, it's cool." Dib said the last part shyly.

Zim looked at him in surprise. He'd always thought the Dib was repulsed by his Irken appearance. He complied and his human form fizzled out of existence, fake eyes turning a deep ruby. For some reason it made Dib's pulse quicken - there was just something about those eyes. God, he really was crazy. He'd never found a human attractive and now he was falling for an alien?

He shuffled up closer to Zim, and leaned in towards him. He couldn't believe how fast his heart was beating, he almost felt dizzy. Zim's worried expression as his face grew closer didn't help either. The Irken didn't move an inch he was so frozen with fear, so Dib reached a hand out and tenderly placed it on Zim's cheek, gently pulling him forward by the jaw so that their lips could touch. Dib didn't know a lot about kissing, but this just felt so instinctive. His stomach flipped as he felt Zim press back and he pulled the Irken's face a bit harder against his own, his hand still clutching the smooth green skin.

After a few moments Dib broke the contact, sighing contentedly and rested his forehead against Zim's instead. He wanted to deepen the kiss, but he was just so afraid. Afraid of doing it wrong, of Zim rejecting him… afraid of liking it too much. What was he doing, he was just torturing himself. He dropped his hand and pulled back.

"Why does it feel so good?" Zim asked, a bit dazed.

"I dunno," Dib said giddily, "It's to do with how sensitive our lips our partly… I dunno about your kind."

"Your nose gets in the way." Zim protested, glaring slightly at the appendage.

"Well we manage just fine with them." Dib rolled his eyes. There was always something for the alien to complain about. They sat closely in contented silence for a while, both thinking their own thoughts. Dib soon felt his eyes begin to droop, and the cold was making his injuries ache.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed, I'm still really tired." Dib conceded, and Zim's face fell.

"Ugh, already? You were only just asleep." Zim grumbled in aggravation. "How do you humans ever get anything done, you spend half of your lives unconscious."

"Hey I'm still recovering you know. These still really hurt." Dib motioned to the bruises, and Zim looked away guiltily. "How about we spend tomorrow together? If you're not too busy with your project that is." Dib asked hopefully.

"Ok. What will we do?" Zim had little motivation for his work right now.

"I dunno, I'll think of something." Truth was Dib never really did anything much at the weekend, he hadn't thought past Zim actually accepting his offer. He got up stiffly, his wounds throbbing. He moved to the edge of the roof, where Zim once again picked him up and lowered them both back down into his bedroom. Dib was surprised as Zim hovered at the windowsill – the alien clearly didn't want to leave again. When had he got so clingy? Not that he minded.

"You want to stay over again?" Dib asked knowingly, small smile on his face. Zim nodded and hopped in with a grin. "Well you know where my snacks are. I'm guessing you don't need any sleep so you can go on my computer if you'd like. There's some games on it you might like. Do you know how to work it?" Zim glowered at him.

"You don't think I can work a human computer? Smeets-play." Dib just sighed as the Irken sulked, and grabbed his pyjamas.

"Whatever, do what you like. I'm gonna go get ready for bed and get some painkillers." Dib sloped off to the bathroom. Zim looked around curiously as he was left alone. He went straight over to the snack box, and was elated to see that Dib had replaced his favourite round chewies. He grabbed them happily and began nosing around the Dibs room for something interesting.

He slid the other door of the wardrobe open and found himself looking at a lot of pictures of… himself. He knew the boy had achieved a lot of photos of him over the years, but it still felt very unnerving to be standing in front of such a display. He thought about how the boy had asked him to turn his disguise off. Dib really did like how Irkens looked. It was so odd, the boy seemed to have no preference for his own species at all.

Zim considered the Dibs appearance. Did he like it? He supposed it was instinctively attractive to him how tall the boy was, even though it was annoying that he was taller than Zim was. And his spiky hair thing wasn't too unlike his own antennae. The extra features such as ears, nose and additional fingers were just odd, but he was pretty used to them by now. Some of the humans were all kinds of vile and freaky shapes, all fat and blubbery and smelly. But Dib wasn't like that at all. His body was sleek and his skin was smooth and clean, and smelt quite nice. He had all the right number of limbs, two eyes and one mouth, so he supposed he couldn't fault him. He looked as close to Irken-kind as any human was ever going to get.

He still longed to discover what that mop of dark hair felt like, and an idea came over him. His spider legs wooshed out and raised him up to the ceiling, out of sight. He waited until Dib trudged back in sleepily and stopped by his bed. The boy looked around in confusion – had Zim left? He saw he'd found the cookies, the packet lying on the floor amidst some crumbs which he scowled at. Zim smoothly lowered down over the boys head, reaching out his claws and stuck them into Dib's hair roughly.

Dib cried out in surprise and jumped away onto his bed, wincing as his bruises twinged. "What the fuck Zim!" Zim lowered himself back down to the floor.

"I was just seeing what it felt like." He looked sadly at his gloved hand. He had forgotten he'd need to take that off before he could actually feel anything properly. He'd missed his chance.

"You could just ask you know!" Dib smoothed his hair back in annoyance.

"Really?" Zim looked up hopefully.

"Um… yeah?" Dib wasn't sure he should have said that, but Zim gleefully sprang over, pulling his glove off carefully. Dib rolled his eyes and leaned his head toward the Irken, offering his hair up. Zim triumphantly ran his claws through the strange texture, feeling the tangle of so many fine threads – such a strange design. Dib shivered, surprised to find the feeling quite pleasurable. He could feel his eyes sagging as the sensation lulled him to sleep.

"We don't have anything like this." Zim commented casually, not noticing how much Dib was enjoying the touch until he felt the boy's body start to sag towards him. His breathing had grown heavy, and Zim realised he'd fallen asleep. It seemed touching the hair was some sort of calming mechanism - that might be useful to remember.

Zim withdrew his hand and pulled his glove back on, a smug grin on his face. He moved the body so that Dib was lying against the pillows rather than himself, and carefully pulled the duvet up and over him. The Dib looked very endearing and peaceful like this, but he was quickly getting bored of all this sleeping.

Zim moved back over the wardrobes and grabbed some more snacks from the box. He noticed a soft looking blanket on a shelf and grabbed that too, wrapping himself up in its warmth. Why did he find Dib's scent so comforting? He was sure he used to find it just as repulsive as any humans. He stalked over to the desk within his bundle, and glared at the primitive computer.

Well, he supposed he didn't have anything else to do.

A/N: This chapter ended up being a bit uneventful, apologies. I thought it best to get an update done though. I had the first few chapters really well planned so this one just ended up being a bit rambling... but I've had a good think and sorted what's going to happen next so hopefully it will get more exciting from here!

Regarding Zim's weapon, I know it's crazily farfetched and makes no scientific sense, but to be fair this is scifi! ;P My knowledge is lacking haha