Team Gai
TenTen sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the floor. Weapon racks sat loaded around the room. Her eyes weren't looking at anything in particular, but her mind was watching Neji die. It was a fresh wound, and she couldn't help but pick at it.
She knew she shouldn't. TenTen had gotten the same lessons as everyone else. She remembered learning about trauma management from Ino's dad, back when he was still alive.
And every thought just dug her deeper and deeper. She took a deep breath and let it out. Deciding a change in scenery was in order, TenTen leaned back on her elbows and stared at the ceiling.
God she was a wreck.
She probably would have stayed there all day if someone hadn't come knocking on her apartment door.
"Hello TenTen! Are you in there?"
Oh lord no.
"It is Lee!"
TenTen rolled over and squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe he'd go away.
"You have been missing training these past few days! I thought I would come check on you!"
She should at least answer the door, if only to keep him from knocking it down. Still, she couldn't seem to summon up the will or energy to move. Maybe it would be alright.
CRACK!
"I knocked too hard, TenTen! I am so sorry!"
Dammit.
TenTen rolled over and glared at the hole in her door. Lee was on the other side, staring into her small apartment. As soon as she made eye contact, Lee waved at her. She groaned and buried her face in a pillow.
"I am sorry TenTen. Are you alright?"
"No."
She didn't have the energy to lie. That was probably a mistake though.
"I am coming in."
That got her moving. Quickly she pulled her face out and turned it to the door again.
"Wait, Lee…"
*Click*
Lee stuck his arm through the hole he made and undid the latch. Then he stepped in. TenTen buried her face and groaned. It was nice that he didn't knock the door down like she'd feared, but she just wanted to be left alone. It was nice that Lee wanted to help, but the boy had about as much tact as Naruto.
"Is Neji making you sad?"
Case in point.
"Oh, I am sorry, TenTen. That was thoughtless of me."
"Huh?"
Lee barely ever noticed when he made a (verbal) misstep.
"I said that I was sorry, TenTen. I did not mean to bring up our dead teammate."
Wow.
"…I have done it again."
"Y~ep."
"I am sorry that I have made you sad, TenTen. I shall do my best to cheer you up. If I cannot, then I will climb the monument with my hands alone!"
She buried her face deeper as he started shouting again.
"No, really Lee. It's fine. You don't have to—"
"It is alright, TenTen! I have promised it, and so I shall do it!"
She could hear the whoosh of spandex through air as he struck his favorite pose.
"Lee, please. Just leave me alone."
Lee walked away. TenTen raised her head to see if he'd really gone, only to catch a sudden glare of midday sun when Lee opened the blinds.
"It is a glorious day, TenTen! We should be outside!"
She squinted and saw him against the glare. She focused on his silhouette as her eyes adjusted.
"No, Lee. Leave me alone."
He walked over and took her hand.
"Come! You will feel better with the sun on your face and fresh air in your lungs!"
"Lee, the sun's in my face right now, and that hole you knocked in my door will do fine for fresh air, thanks."
Still, he persisted.
"You must do something. It will help, I am sure of it!"
"I am doing something."
He paused.
"TenTen, you are letting your grief consume you."
"I know. Now leave me alone."
"…Would it make you happier if I did?"
"Yes."
He stood and let go.
"Very well. I will see you tomorrow."
He shut the door behind him. Bastard didn't even have the courtesy to close the blinds.
xxxxx
The next day, he was back.
"Come with me, TenTen."
She groaned and rolled over. He had opened the blinds again. Bastard.
"TenTen, you must come with me."
"No I don't."
"You must. Have you eaten today?"
"Yes. I had a sandwich."
She hadn't.
"Then we will go have lunch."
"I already ate."
She hadn't had that either.
"There are no dishes in your sink, TenTen. You have not eaten lunch."
She didn't have a dishwasher, but she wasn't counting on Lee of all people to be perceptive.
"Fine. I haven't eaten lunch. I'm not hungry though."
"TenTen, you must eat. When was the last time you had food?"
"Yesterday."
"There were no dishes in your sink yesterday, either."
Damn.
"Leave me alone Lee."
"Not until you are better, TenTen."
"I'm fine."
"I do not think so."
"Well, you're not me, so you wouldn't know."
"I do not need to be you to tell. You have been in here for three days, and I think it has been that long since you have had a full meal, too. Am I wrong?"
"Get out, Lee."
"Am I wrong?"
"No! Now get out!"
She felt worse as soon as she yelled. She knew he was just trying to help, but he was so pushy. He treated this whole situation like it was his training; something to be attacked relentlessly.
"Lee, I appreciate what you're trying to do. Really. But I need to be alone. Please leave."
He was silent. She heard him rise and walk off. She wondered if he was off to climb the monument again. She felt like the thought should be making her smile, but it only sunk her deeper into sadness.
She rolled over when the door closed and felt the cool touch of porcelain against her forehead. Sitting up, she saw that Lee had left a plate on the edge of her bed, with a PB&J sitting on it.
This time, she did smile a little.
xxxxx
When Lee came back the next day, he found a plate lying in the sink.
"Thanks for the sandwich."
He grinned widely.
"You are welcome, TenTen. It makes me happy to see that you ate it."
She grunted something in response, and he walked over and opened the blinds. He was feeling particularly hopeful about today. He had a new approach he wanted to try out.
"Would you like to come with me?"
"I'm fine."
Right.
Lee walked over and sat on her bed. She scooted over.
"I miss him too."
"Duh."
"He and I were rivals to begin with, but I always knew him as a friend."
"I know. We were all on the same team."
"I owe him much. When he became stronger, I became stronger. And when he grew as a person, I did as well."
"I was there the whole time, Lee. I saw it happen."
"You are not being very helpful, TenTen."
"Sorry."
He scowled. He had been trying to make her feel better, not worse.
"What I was trying to say was that Neji was my brother. And when he died, a part of me almost went with him. But I cannot falter, because that part of me was the part that he had made. It was the part that had learned from him, that had felt for him. I knew I could not falter, because that was the part that carried my brother, and that was the part I would share with others."
Here he turned, facing her at last. She had her back to him, but she was listening.
"This is why you must come with me, TenTen. There is a part of him in you as well, and I cannot see that die."
She was silent. Concerned, Lee placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I loved him. I was sure of it."
He stayed silent, not knowing what to say, and in doing so saying the right thing.
"When he died, I was in shock. I wasn't sure it was real. When I was in the infinite tsukuyomi, I saw him alive again. I think that made it worse, having him back and losing him so soon. I had been so certain of what we had…I don't know. I don't feel like it's real, and I wish it wasn't."
"It is."
"I know."
"Did talking help?"
She sighed.
"A little, but not much. I've been saying that stuff in my head for the last few days. Saying it out loud felt nice, but it also just reaffirmed my feelings."
"…did what I say help?"
"Not as much as you'd hope. I've heard that speech before you know. That's a cruel thing to say, but it's hard to feel an emotional impact when I've seen it in every book I've read, and heard it in every movie I've watched."
She rolled her head and gave him a wan smile.
"Your ending was stronger than theirs though."
Lee deflated. He felt her hand touch his.
"Lee, I really appreciate what you're doing, but talk is cheap. Actions matter."
He perked up then.
"Actions are what I am good at!"
He rose, presumably to climb the monument and plan for tomorrow, but her hand stayed on his and held him back.
"That was your cue to stay, dummy."
"I was going to make you another sandwich."
"…Oh."
He smiled again.
"But I will keep you company. That way, I can make sure that you eat dinner as well."
TenTen groaned again, but this time she felt her mouth tug up into a smile as well. Trust Lee to ruin the mood.
"Fine, but not PB&J. I had that yesterday."
xxxxx
The next day, Lee didn't bother coming since he was already there. TenTen was reminded of this when he opened the blinds at 6 A.M. and placed a Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich next to her head.
She opened her eyes blearily and took it all in. What Lee did, he did well. Right now he did sandwiches, and this one was perfectly proportioned and completely symmetrical. He must've been practicing until he'd gotten the right amounts of everything. She'd probably have to get more bread soon.
"We need to teach you some other recipes. A good diet needs variety."
"Very well, TenTen! I will learn more recipes! If I cannot, I will take classes!"
She paused with half of the sandwich already eaten.
"'Take classes?' That was oddly rational. I was expecting something like "Do a thousand kicks" or whatever."
"Kicking would not help my cooking skills. I am finding the transition from fighting to housework difficult to apply my training methods to."
She laughed and rolled her eyes, feeling better already. Having company helped a lot.
"What would you like to do today?"
TenTen finished chewing the last of the sandwich.
"Is this your way of tactfully asking me to go outside with you?"
"Yes."
She hummed and stretched.
"Shower first."
"And then?"
"And then you shower. You still smell like sweat."
"I was training."
"I know."
xxxxx
TenTen was blinded when she stepped out. Five days in a (usually) dark room had really boosted her sensitivity.
"It's awfully nice of the weather to be sunny today. It'd be awful if the one day I step out was overcast."
"The day is bright because everyone is happy! The world is new and the blood is washed away!"
The people who were awake and about at 7 rolled their eyes and smiled. Lee was nothing new to them.
"That would work better if it had rained after the war."
"Didn't it?"
"I don't think so."
"Oh."
She patted him on the back.
"Good job with the symbolism though. Really. I liked it."
Lee grinned and shot her a thumbs up.
"Thank you, TenTen! Your praise is appreciated!"
She grinned and gently pushed his outstretched hand back down to his side.
"Yeah, you're welcome. Now what're we doing out here?"
"I was thinking that we could go and visit our friends. They have been worried, and will be relieved to see you are alright."
She sighed and stretched. It was a nice morning. The air tasted fresh, and the sun warmed her pleasantly.
"Alright," she said, "we might as well. We should wait a bit though. I don't know how many will be awake right now. I know Naruto isn't."
"Hinata is."
TenTen froze. Somehow, she'd forgotten all about Hinata.
"How is she?"
Lee took her hand and began to walk.
"Oh, she is doing very well. She has really taken control of her life, and has been asking after you. I believe she will be ecstatic to see you up and about, TenTen."
"Is that right?"
TenTen was relieved to hear it, but she felt strangely confused. She'd thought Hinata would be taking Neji's death much harder than her.
"Yes, it is! Now come, let us pay her a visit!"
xxxxx
It had been a strange walk through the Hyuuga compound. After the guards had respectfully stepped aside for them, they had entered to find the normally austere and traditional place bustling with activity.
Lee said, "A lot of repairs and maintenance got sidelined when the war happened. Now that it is over, everyone is pitching in."
"No kidding," TenTen murmured, watching the construction efforts with awed disbelief.
It wasn't just the branch house with the tools, but many main house members were carrying paint and equipment of their own. She saw two members of separate houses holding an animated conversation while weeding a garden. She saw a branch house member climb a ladder to hand a man from the main house a stack of shingles, and she saw the sweaty man accept them with thanks before repairing storm damage on the roof.
TenTen also saw that she and Lee were getting looks as they passed. People perked up as they walked by; some even stopped and waved at them before returning to work with a faint smile. TenTen waved back, and looked to Lee for help.
"I said they had been worried about you. Everyone missed Neji, so it makes them happy when they see that his team is doing well."
"Oh."
That wasn't something she had expected, and she felt guilty about it. Because they normally acted so aloof, it was easy to forget that the Hyuuga were human. It was far too simple to picture them as two-dimensional. People who did so annoyed her greatly, and she was ashamed to admit that she had done it herself.
"Hello Hinata!"
"Huh?"
TenTen focused in front of her to see Hinata, sweaty and dirty. Next to her were her sister and her father, apparently planting flowers. She couldn't stop herself from asking a dumb question.
"What're you doing?"
Hinata smiled and wiped her forehead.
"Hello TenTen, it is good to see you about."
The heiress had been polite enough not to tease the poor girl for her brain fart. Surprisingly, it was her father who did so instead.
"We're planting flowers. Why, does it look strange?"
Hinata turned red and spun around.
"F-father!"
"Yes, yes. Sorry."
He stood and wiped his hands on his once white robes. Hanabi stayed happily in the dirt, placing everything just so.
"Our family had already taken other jobs and insisted they needed no help. We decided that this would be a nice place for a circle of flowers, so we got started."
Hanabi piped up from the upturned soil.
"Also, the only other work was inside at a desk."
"Yes, it was."
Hiashi managed to keep his expression serious and dignified. TenTen suspected this was because of some secret Hyuuga training like, watching a really funny comedian and taking a crotch shot the instant you smiled.
Lee moved past Hinata to crouch next to Hanabi.
"I notice that you have left a hole in the center." he said.
"Are you thinking of making a pool?"
The younger girl nodded.
"We can lay down tiles later." she said.
"Dark blue and white would be nice." said Hinata.
The affected casualness of her tone made it seem like something she had said before, and was saying again not for the benefit of the guests. Hanabi's reaction lent some credence to this when she rolled her eyes and said, exasperated: "Dark blue would stand out too much. It needs to be something like light blue or lavender."
Hinata dropped all pretenses of this being their first argument on the subject.
"And I told you those don't stand out enough! It needs contrast!"
Hanabi had risen by this point and stood hands on hips and legs akimbo, seemingly ignorant to the dirt tumbling off her grass-and-soil-stained clothes.
"The tiles must be muted to bring out the vibrant color of the flowers! There's your contrast!"
The two sisters were getting in each other's faces by now. In front of them, Hiashi stood quietly. This was a new thing that he didn't know how to deal with. TenTen smirked. Apparently, nobody was used to Hinata talking back. To be honest, she wasn't either, but that didn't make the situation any less humorous.
"But if the tiles are muted, then they will be looked over! They must be bold to be recognized as more than a simple setting!"
"But that is what they are supposed to be! The pool and the tiles are not meant to stand out! They are supposed to be a peaceful center in all of the chaos! It's symbolic!"
Lee had stood up by now and walked back over to TenTen, brushing off his knees.
"Quite the little artist, isn't she?" she asked him, smiling lightly.
He laughed boisterously, breaking the girls out of their argument and calling the attention of everyone around.
"Indeed! She could be a very talented landscaper!"
Hanabi glowed with smug pride and Hinata huffed. Next to Lee, TenTen sighed deeply.
Everyone present felt they needed to break the silence, but didn't know how. Finally, Hinata spoke up.
"So…uh…TenTen…"
"Yeah?"
"Um…it's good to see you up and about."
"Thanks."
She knew she wasn't being helpful, but she felt awkward and didn't know what else to say.
"We're here if you need to talk to someone." Said Hiashi, surprising TenTen and making Hinata smile.
"We know you two were close."
"Thank you, I…I really appreciate it."
TenTen cursed herself for letting her voice crack. The family was friendly, but she felt like a stranger here. She wanted to leave. This was all too real; her emotions were still too raw.
Hinata stepped forward. She opened her mouth to speak, then shut it and flushed red. She wavered indecisively, then stepped forward and hugged TenTen.
"I'm sorry." she whispered, and her grip tightened. Weakly, TenTen patted the younger girl's back.
"You didn't do anything wrong." she managed to say.
"No, it isn't that."
"It's not?"
Hinata shook her head.
"I know what Neji was to you. I-if you want to talk about that, we can."
TenTen stopped patting the girl's back.
"Huh?"
She could feel Hinata's skin heat up against her neck as the girl flushed.
"U-um, I mean, it isn't completely the same, b-but…uh…well, I know what it's like, not getting what you w-wanted…"
Wait a minute…
TenTen held Hinata at arm's length. The other girl ducked her head and seemed to shrink.
"Did something happen to Naruto?"
She shrunk even more.
"Um, n-no, he's fine."
"He's not dead?"
"N-no…"
TenTen thought.
"Did he say no?"
She could feel the heat through Hinata's jacket.
"…yes."
For some reason that was what did it. The dramatic reaction would have been to get offended, and a part of TenTen could totally see why. Still, all she wanted to do was comfort this girl. She pulled the heiress back in.
"Oh, Hinata, I'm sorry." she murmured.
Hinata had obviously been expecting some sort of angry explosion. She had initially stiffened, but she relaxed as soon as it became obvious that TenTen was hugging her and not killing her.
"I-I know they aren't even remotely alike, but—"
"You don't need to explain. We can talk later, okay?"
"O-okay."
Releasing each other, the girls stepped away. Hinata looked like she was about to start crying.
"Thank you."
TenTen smiled at her, finding it funny that she, who had spent five days drowning in grief, had just been the one comforting Hinata, who was coping by being proactive.
It was very strange.
xxxxx
It was around noon when they finally left the Hyuuga compound, and TenTen was feeling better already. The sun was still out, and Lee was happily walking next to her as they left the clan district and entered the main market.
She leaned over and bumped him with her shoulder, taking care not to knock him into any of the people milling around them.
"So," she said over the thrumming masses, "where to next?"
"Where to? Oh…"
"Naruto maybe? I never got around to congratulate him on not dying."
Lee scowled reproachfully.
"That's very morbid, TenTen."
She rolled her eyes.
"That's our job, Lee."
"Well, about that…"
"What?"
Lee looked oddly thoughtful.
"Now that this whole war is over…Will that still be our job?"
TenTen hated to repeat herself, but…
"What?"
"Well we fought for lasting peace. And we won. Our jobs revolve around war and violence, so…"
TenTen shook her head.
"It's peace, Lee, but it's not lasting peace. Sooner or later, someone's gonna come stir up trouble."
Lee looked crestfallen.
"I guess so." he mumbled, and TenTen felt bad. It was honestly a great thing to hope for. She watched some kids run by behind him, and remembered something.
Konoha was pleasant to live in, especially when compared to the other villages. But even here, civilians tended to be antsy around trained killers with strange powers. But over the past few years, they'd been becoming more comfortable. When she was a kid, she never would've been running around a Jounin like Lee. Something had actually changed. Standing there in the midst of the sun-covered crowd, TenTen began to doubt her cynicism.
She reached over and patted Lee's shoulder, and smiled when he met her eyes.
"Hey, it probably won't happen for a while." she said. "Even then, now that we've actually achieved peace instead of some sort'a stalemate, maybe people will work harder to keep it, huh?"
Lee perked up, and began grinning again.
"Perhaps they will! Now that it is not some abstract concept, but something that has actually been accomplished, then a dream of peace will not be considered such a foolish dream!"
"Who says it was foolish to begin with?"
TenTen and Lee turned to see Sakura, one hand on her hip, the other wrapped around a bag of groceries.
"Oh, I was not calling it foolish, Sakura! I was just saying that there are some who called it such that will not now! Surely you remember people who did this. You were Naruto's teammate, after all."
She smiled, and it was a mixture of fondness and ruefulness. People flowed around them, respecting the veterans who had fought for this day.
"There were some," she said, "but they usually changed their tune pretty quick. I don't think anyone mocked him about it more than once or twice."
Lee paled dramatically.
"S-sakura, you did not beat them up, did you?"
The medic flushed.
"Of course not! God, why does everyone always assume I'm violent?"
"W-well, you do have a bit of a reputa—"
TenTen did Lee a favor and covered his mouth for him. Sakura just sighed.
"Honestly, I had nothing to do with it. Just a bit of exposure to Naruto's idiot charisma and they were singing his tune in no time."
She put her free hand on her cheek like some worried mother.
"Oh dear, I just made him sound like some evil genius, didn't I?"
TenTen grinned. She hadn't gotten much time to hang out with the girl after she stopped swooning over Sasuke, so she hadn't seen Sakura being sassy before.
"Don't worry," TenTen said, "nobody who met him would believe that for a second."
The hand went back to the hip.
"That was a crack about his intelligence wasn't it?"
"Maybe."
Sakura shot her a half-hearted stink-eye.
"I can't really fault you on the "evil" part of that, but there are times when I wondered if he was just playing us all. As strange as it is to say, if he revealed himself as a mastermind, I would probably be the least surprised."
"Well, you're the one on a team with him. You ever come across any entrances to his secret lair?"
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"If there is one, it's probably hidden under all the dirty clothes and empty ramen cups. Honestly, that's why I'm out getting groceries."
"Is it because Naruto has run out of food in his secret lair?"
"No, Lee, it's because he ran out of food in his house, and if I left it up to him, he'd just get more ramen."
For TenTen, who'd been out of the loop since the funeral, things suddenly clicked.
"Wait, are you living with him?"
Sakura's mouth hung open.
"W-well it's not exactly a secret!"
"Sorry. I haven't been paying attention lately."
The younger girl let a long breath go.
"Yes, I am living with him. I know we only got together pretty recently, but having known the guy since he was twelve, I'd say we get a pass for moving a little quickly."
"Oh."
TenTen was suddenly, crushingly aware that they were in public. Still, she couldn't hold the curiosity back.
"So…have you two…uh…"
Sakura stiffened as everyone around them surreptitiously leaned in.
"This is not a conversation to have in public." she hissed out between clenched teeth.
Lee popped up like a Jack-in-the-Box, and reached for the bag of groceries.
"We were just coming to visit you two. Allow me to assist you, Sakura."
Sakura lifted the brown paper bag away from him.
"Lee," she said, "I punched the shit out of a goddess. I can get my own damn groceries."
"But…"
TenTen rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Relax, Lee. It's sweet how you're trying to be gallant, but she's taken. Rein in the charm, okay?"
He was momentarily stunned, but Lee quickly recovered, popping into his favored "Nice Guy" pose.
"Of course, TenTen."
He then turned to Sakura, who had yet to let her groceries back within grabbing distance.
"Please forgive me for my forwardness, Sakura, but I have trouble restraining myself around one so beautiful."
TenTen popped him on the head.
"The charm, Lee."
"Sorry!"
Sakura smiled and shook her head, then led them off to Naruto, with the crowd closing behind them.
xxxxx
Naruto answered his door in boxers, and greeted his mortified girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey. What'd ya get?"
The oblivious boy then noticed her company, and greeted them with a wave. Lee cheerfully returned it (he and Gai go around in spandex. It is highly doubtful that he gives a shit about male nudity).
"Hey guys. How's it hangin'?"
TenTen covered her eyes so that she wouldn't look down.
"Wrong choice of words there." she muttered.
Sakura shoved him inside and slammed the door after him.
"Put some pants on!"
"They don't mind."
"Well I do!"
They heard cans rattle and paper crinkle as the groceries were set down.
"Are you embarrassed for me?"
"…Seriously? Now is the time you choose to start picking up on social cues? Yes! I am embarrassed for you!"
"That…that makes me so happy! C'mere."
"Nope."
"Awww, but Sakuraaa~"
"Don't you start. Pants and guests first, cuddles later."
"Fine, fine. But as soon as they leave…"
"Well, duh! Are you kidding me? I like cuddles too, you know. Now go get dressed."
After a few more seconds of movement, Sakura opened the door again.
"Sorry about that. Come in!"
"Uh…thanks." TenTen said, and stepped in. Sakura closed the door behind Lee and sat on Naruto's ratty-ass couch.
"He'll only be a moment."
TenTen listened to the sounds of muffled swearing and flying clothes.
"I'm sure." she said.
With a cry of victory, the noises from the bedroom stopped. A fully-clothed Naruto emerged.
"Hey guys!" he said, then threw himself sideways over the couch arm, landing with his head in Sakura's lap.
At least, that's what TenTen guessed was supposed to happen. Instead, he just smacked his head into her thigh when his landing bounced her up.
"Oops."
"Careful!"
"Hello, Naruto! How are you?"
As his red-faced girlfriend laid her hand on his head, Naruto grinned widely.
"Pretty good, Lee. Oh, hey TenTen! You feelin' better?"
TenTen had somehow managed to forget what conversations with Naruto were like.
"Yes."
Naruto tried nodding, but pretty much just rubbed his head in Sakura's lap.
"That's good. We missed you."
"Um…th…thanks?"
She didn't really know how to respond to that one.
"I'm sorry about Neji."
"It wasn't your fault."
These polite responses were killing her. They were talking about something tragic and meaningful! How could she not scrape up anything more heartfelt than these cookie-cutter answers?
"I hear you, but I still feel like it was. Obito was saying I couldn't protect everybody, but I should've been able to at least protect him."
"Naruto can think of shit like that, but I can't even come up with a response?" TenTen cursed her language for not having enough words.
"You're still gonna say it's not my fault, and I get that. It isn't. But still, I really wanna say…I'm sorry."
Her throat felt tight and her eyes felt hot. She was fighting down tears because of fucking Naruto. The kid was the class idiot and a year her junior, yet he was still so damn eloquent. Maybe it was all a part of being such a big damn hero, but right now all she wanted was to leave.
"Neji was a good friend to me. We didn't start off great, but…I dunno. I wish he was alive."
TenTen was trembling.
"You wish he was alive? I wished I was dead!"
The tears were flowing freely now. All the emotions she'd been bottling up were boiling over, and though she knew she shouldn't be blowing up at him, she couldn't do anything to stop it.
"How do you do it? How do you speak so easily? God it's like you're giving a fucking eulogy or something! What were you doing for the last five days? Rehearsing that in front of a mirror? He was a "good friend" to you, but he was my love to me! How about it? Could you speak so freely if Sakura was dead? Well, you fucker?!"
Her voice broke and her words ran out. She stood there sobbing, unable to speak and wanting nothing more than to be gone. Her skin felt flushed with shame and anger. Where the tears ran, she felt numb. With her eyes squeezed shut, she was alone in a world of red and black, all mixed together.
Outside of her isolation, she felt arms go around her and a body press in close. No smells could make it through her running nose, but she knew it was Lee. She tried pushing him away, but he just held tighter. Giving up, she accepted the hug and squeezed him back. As the sobs lessened, she heard Naruto respond.
"I don't know what I'd do if Sakura died."
She opened her eyes and looked at the couch. Lee's neck was obscuring Sakura, but she could see Naruto was sitting up now and looking right at her.
"I've never been in that place. I don't blame you for getting mad though, because I remembered how I reacted when Jiraiya died, and I cracked too."
She sniffed and clung to Lee like a lifeline. She was embarrassed now. She didn't know these two as well as her teammates had, and breaking down like that in front of them…she wished she had a do-over.
"Do you need to sit down?" asked Sakura.
"I—I'm good." she managed to choke out, still holding Lee tight. She didn't feel comfortable leaving this spot, and Lee was familiar and comforting.
"Okay."
"I just wanna stand here for a while" she said, annoyed at how shaky her voice was.
"You can." Sakura said.
TenTen nodded, feeling like a child. Lee stayed where he was, happily offering whatever support he could to his grieving teammate.
xxxxx
"I'm sorry."
TenTen was sitting down on the couch with Naruto and Sakura on either side of her. In the kitchen, Lee was assembling more sandwiches. Sakura had placed her hand on TenTen's knee a while back, and she didn't remember when Naruto had started rubbing circles on her back.
Neither of them responded, so she just said it again.
"I'm sorry."
Naruto's hand stopped rubbing circles and patted her back. On her left, Sakura squeezed her knee.
"It's alright." Sakura said.
"Yeah," said Naruto, "it's fine. We're not mad at you."
TenTen shook her head. She didn't think she should be forgiven so easily.
"No, you invited me in, you were nothing but polite and understanding, and I just blew up at you. I'm so sorry."
Naruto sighed.
"I don't think she believes us." said Sakura.
"Me neither." said Naruto.
"Okay, how about this?"
Raising the hand not currently on her back, Naruto spoke.
"I promise that what I'm gonna tell you is totally honest, and not just somethin' I'm saying to make you feel better."
He grinned triumphantly.
"There, now you've gotta believe me!"
"I…okay." TenTen had briefly thought of protesting, but remembered that Naruto was nothing if not stubborn.
"Good." he said. "Now then…TenTen, neither of us are mad at you for what you did. Believe me, everyone knows what it's like to lose a loved one…except for Sakura."
"Bite me."
"Later. Anyway!" He just launched back into it like that had never happened.
"Just talk to anyone who's got our job, and they can totally sympathize. Hell, Kurenai's gone through this exact thing, and she's a girl too!"
"Irrelevant."
"Right. So anyway, we get it. Nobody's mad, and if you don't want to be alone, you can stay here for as long as you need. Kay?"
"Oh, that won't be necessary." TenTen started.
"No it will not. I have made your sandwiches!" Lee said, placing three perfectly proportioned Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches down in front of the couch.
"Also, I will stay with her for as long as she needs."
Naruto grinned widely.
"Of course you will!"
Lee nodded proudly. Then, he fixed a very intense stare on TenTen.
"TenTen, I did not know you had wished yourself dead."
"Oh hell. I said that, didn't I?"
"Is that still true?"
TenTen didn't want to speak. She didn't want them freaking out over her, but anything she said that wasn't "yes" would just sound disingenuous and make them worry even more. She had to say something though.
"TenTen?"
"For a little bit, yes. I didn't really see much point to hanging around. I was never really all that big a part of this group. I'm pretty sure some of you don't know my last name. The only plans I had left were opening up a weapon shop or something, and without Neji to help me run it, that just sounded like the loneliest, bleakest thing I could do with my life. I spent three days like that, thinking it over. After the third, I had a moment where I was seriously considering doing it."
"Why didn't you?"
Here she smiled. It was a jagged little thing, like broken glass.
"Lee knocked a hole in my door."
"I am sorry for that, TenTen!"
"Don't be. You reminded me that there was someone who would miss me. I had a moment of weakness, and you did a pretty good job of distracting me long enough for it to pass."
Naruto and Lee still looked worried.
"Are you still…"
"Probably not." Sakura cut in.
Naruto turned to her.
"What do you know?"
She smiled at his faith in her knowledge.
"Well, something I learned from having a friend who's dad was essentially a ninja psychologist was that in most cases of suicide, it was just what TenTen called it: a moment of weakness. You stop someone from killing themselves, and most of the time that's all they needed to reconsider. It's good data too. Believe me, in a profession like ours, Inoichi had to deal with a lot of suicide attempts."
The boys seemed to relax, and TenTen smiled tearfully at the other girl for calming them down. Both were the absolute worst at dealing with stuff like this, as they were a terrible mixture of relentless and clueless.
"Still," the girl continued, now addressing her, "I would recommend talking to Kurenai. I know you've got Lee, but having someone else who knows exactly what you've been through is invaluable for making you feel less alone. Kakashi's also the go-to guy if you need to talk about survivor's guilt."
TenTen stared at her blankly, then started laughing.
"Somehow, I forgot you were a medic."
Sakura flushed.
"Now what's that supposed to mean?"
TenTen held out her hands to ward off the other girl.
"Nothing, nothing. It's just with the way you were listing off recommendations like that, I was about to say "what are you, a doctor?" And then I realized, yes! Yes you are!"
She kept laughing in the manner of a person who has just finished crying. Sakura was still red, but now it seemed born of shyness than rage.
"W-well, I'm not a doctor. More like a nurse."
"I'll bet Naruto likes that!" TenTen crowed, still laughing. There was something about heavy conversations and lots of tears that resulted in people completely losing their filters. Sakura had hidden her face in Naruto's shoulder. Lee's face was white, and Naruto was looking pensive. Bearing that strange sixth sense about their partners that most people have after spending many years with someone, Sakura reached up and bopped him on the head.
"None of that!"
"Aww, but Sakuraaaa~"
"NO! We aren't messing up my uniform for that!"
Naruto looked thoughtful again.
"What if we got you a different uniform?"
"…maybe."
At that, Lee rose and quickly turned to face the door, probably crying manly tears of pride and envy.
"Well, we shall be leaving! It was an excellent visit! Thank-you-for-your-hospitality-goodbye!"
Picking up the still laughing TenTen and her untouched sandwich, he sped out the door, stopped and bowed once, then sped off.
Alone in the apartment, Naruto turned to a stunned Sakura and said:
"She has good ideas."
She punched him lightly in the shoulder.
"Dumb ass!"
xxxxx
Feeling tapped out, Lee and TenTen returned home. She had stopped laughing a while ago, and was just finishing up her sandwich as they entered the apartment.
"Are we not going to talk to Kurenai?"
She shook her head.
"Not today. I'm still feeling a bit drained emotionally just from that visit with Naruto."
Walking over and plopping down on her couch, she stretched out, delighting in the little popping noises her spine made. Lee came over and sat next to her, letting the door close behind him.
"Alright then." he said upon reaching her, "what shall we do for the rest of the day?"
TenTen flopped over sideways.
"I'm in the mood to just lie around, y'know? Letting it all out felt good, but I need some down time before we can keep making all that progress again."
Lee nodded and sat on the only cushion she wasn't covering.
"I understand." he said. "Would you like me to stay?"
She hummed lightly, as if thinking it over.
"Fine." she said, "but no more sandwiches. Not for a while, at least."
"No sandwiches?" Lee asked, appalled, "Did I not make them well enough?"
TenTen started laughing.
"What?"
"Lee," she said, "I don't hate your sandwiches."
"You don't?"
"No, but they're all I've had to eat for the last three days. I need more than that!"
"Oh. That is good then."
"Yes, it is."
There was a brief pause, during which TenTen felt briefly guilty for holding such a normal conversation just five days after Neji died. She forced it away and broke the silence.
"So…what else do you know how to make?"
Lee stood quietly in front of the couch. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and never quite met TenTen's eyes.
"I suppose I could try a new recipe…"
"You suppose?"
Ignoring her, Lee walked briskly to the "kitchen," which came with air quotes included as it was really just a counter, a stove, a sink, and a fridge.
TenTen sat up and watched Lee go through the cabinets that stood in for her pantry.
"Where do you keep your cookbook?"
"I don't have one."
Lee straightened up and wiped his palms on his suit's legs.
"How do you cook?"
TenTen unconsciously shrugged, before realizing that Lee wasn't looking at her.
"I picked up some stuff that I know by heart. Aside from that, most of that stuff is pre-packaged shit that can be made stovetop."
Another cabinet opened.
"Why do you have spices then?"
"Some of the instant food is pretty bland."
Glass clinked and plastic knocked together as Lee sorted through the spice cabinet.
"This is a very large collection for simple seasoning."
"I also pick different types up from wherever we go on a mission, if I get the chance."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Hey, where are you going?"
Lee was walking over to the door. Opening it, he looked back at her.
"I will be right back, TenTen. There is something I must get."
xxxxx
Lee returned a half-hour later with a plastic bag. Pulling out a cookbook, he walked over and placed it on the "kitchen" counter.
"Now I may begin." he said, and made a show of cracking his knuckles.
TenTen slid off of the couch and stumbled over to him. She had been napping, but every good (and living) ninja sleeps lightly.
"Izzat yours?" she mumbled, finding her mouth gummed by sleep.
"It is now." answered Lee. He flipped through the pages and stopped on ravioli and marinara.
"It is a book with recipes from many different areas. I thought that it would make the best use of your spice collection."
TenTen wandered over to the sink and ran some water through her mouth to unstick her tongue. When his words finally reached her brain, she spat out the tap water and shut off the sink.
"Wait, did you just buy that?"
"Yes, I did."
"I thought you got it from home!"
"I did not."
"Then how do you cook?"
"I make smoothies."
"…seriously?"
"They are very rich in protein. I also make sandwiches."
"So you don't actually know any of these recipes?"
Lee pulled from the bag an orange apron that she strongly suspected had been borrowed from Naruto's house, and tied it around his waist.
"I intend to learn," he said, "for cooking lessons await if I cannot."
TenTen could do one of two things. She could freak out about how he was going to kill her stomach, or she could help. She chose the second option. Lee made good sandwiches. Maybe he could make good ravioli too.
"Okay. What do we need?"
"Tomato sauce…"
"I don't have that."
"Tomato puree…"
"Don't have that either."
"Flour…"
"Fresh out."
"Salt…"
"Duh."
"Cheese."
"What kind?"
"Parmesan, Feta…"
"What and what?"
"Butter…"
"I don't think I have that."
"Eggs…"
"How many?"
"Three."
"Nope."
"Olive oil…"
"Never heard of it."
"Garlic…"
"Maybe. Lemme check."
Some clinking, then: "Yup."
"Good."
"Anything else?"
Lee scanned the list.
"No. There are no substitutes. I must return to the grocery."
"I'll come with you."
xxxxx
They had to go to the ethnic aisle to find most of their ingredients. Apparently, nobody stuck tomatoes into blenders around here, or if they did, they certainly didn't can the result. One hour later, the two walked back into TenTen's apartment and set their bags down on the "kitchen" counter.
"Okay," said TenTen, "Let's get started. I'm hungry."
Lee examined the cookbook page.
"This takes a couple of hours to make. More if you do not have an electric mixer."
Both of them turned to stare forlornly at the countertop which held nothing but bags.
"Shit."
"Off we go."
xxxxx
One electric mixer later, and they were ready to start.
"Okay, the ravioli and the marinara are two separate recipes. You do one, I do the other."
"Sure."
After looking at the recipes, they looked at each other.
"You do not have any cutting boards or cooking sheets, do you?"
"Yeah. They're with the pots."
Lee looked cheerful.
"Oh good! Where would that be?"
TenTen sighed.
"At the damn store."
Lee looked like a kicked puppy.
"That was cruel, TenTen."
"Sorry."
xxxxx
Fully equipped, they finally got started. TenTen was really loving making the marinara. It was fun, being able to actually use her spice collection. The recipe didn't really call for many herbs or spices though, and that made her feel disappointed. Still, the best way to find out about a spice was to taste it, right? Picking a spice at random, TenTen improvised.
xxxxx
Things were going pretty smoothly on Lee's side of the kitchen. The electric mixer was working nicely, and the mixture was looking good now that he'd figured out what a dough hook was. Still, he couldn't help but feel it looked a bit…plain. The off-white dough was boring to look at. It lacked flair.
Glancing back at TenTen, Lee's eyes landed on the open spice cabinet.
"Things like herbs and spices are used to add flair to an otherwise boring dish, are they not?" he reasoned, already reaching over, "And the best way to learn about these is to taste them…"
xxxxx
"TenTen, what is a pasta maker? Do you have one?"
"Fuuuuuuuck!"
xxxxx
Some cookbooks come with a prediction of how long a recipe is going to take. Usually this is figured out through the addition of all of the various estimated prep times, with a few minutes added to accommodate for bad cooks. Though they weren't bad at cooking, whomever had guessed the time for this recipe had failed to account for the sheer ignorance of Lee and TenTen.
One hour after the recipes predicted end time, the two were ready to eat. Sitting down at TenTen's sorry excuse for a table with loaded plates, Lee eyed the sauce. The texture was good, and it seemed well made, but…
"Did the picture have so many green flecks in it?"
TenTen poked the ravioli. Though not perfectly shaped, it still looked like it should. Except…
"I don't think the stuff in the picture looked this red."
They looked at each other and said near simultaneously, "It's probably fine."
The two friends took their first bite and hoped for the best.
Lee swallowed and calmly set down his fork, closely followed by TenTen.
"I think I ruined it."
"What did you put in?" she asked.
"Paprika. You?"
"Dill Leaves."
"Can you finish it?"
Eying her plate apprehensively, TenTen grunted.
"I'm not sure. Can you?"
Lee shuddered.
"I can try." he said.
She sighed and picked up her fork.
"You'd better. I'm too hungry to make anything else, and I'll be damned if we waste this after all the work we put into making it."
Lee joined her, and forced himself to smile.
"Well, experiences like this are said to be excellent for bonding."
"Lee, we've known each other for years. We don't need any more bonding experiences. Enough stalling. Dig in, and let's get this over with."
xxxxx
"Well, I learned a lot of things today." said Lee, weakly. His emptied plate sat in front of him as he slouched back in his chair, fork held loosely in slack fingers.
"Like what?" asked TenTen, who was in no better condition.
"Well, I learned that Hanabi was skilled in exterior design."
"That was surprising."
"Yes."
"I also learned that it was possible to get tired of sandwiches."
"Sorry."
"You do not need to apologize. It was my mistake."
"Well, I learned a lot more about Naruto and Sakura."
"Such as?"
"Well for one thing, I learned they're dating."
"Yes, that was quite a shock to me as well."
TenTen leaned forward and rested her chin on the table.
"Was it? Was it really?"
Lee sighed and joined her, head braced on crossed arms.
"Not as much as I would have hoped."
TenTen patted him on the head.
"It's okay. You'll meet someone."
"Are you sure?"
"I dunno. At the very least, you'll get a mini you as a student. You know, do what Gai did? Reproduce by budding?"
Lee groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Highly unyouthful, TenTen."
"Sorry bud."
"Please stop."
"Fine."
Lee pushed himself back up to a sitting position.
"Well," he said, "at the very least, I believe there is something important that we both learned."
"Don't mess with spices you don't know?"
"Yes."
"That sounds reasonable."
xxxxx
"Where are you going?"
Lee stopped in front of the door. He turned around to see TenTen changed into pajamas and looking at him expectantly.
"I was going back to my house." he said. "Is that not alright?"
TenTen shook her head, feeling embarrassed.
"Sorry. That was really clingy and weird. You don't have to stay, I just thought…"
She trailed off, unable to comprehend just what she had thought. Lee turned away from the door and sat down next to her on her bed.
"What did you think?" he asked, meeting her eyes, unblinking.
TenTen turned away.
"Forget it. I don't know what I was thinking."
Lee forced his brain to come up with solutions to her problems, but found that too big a task. Thoughts failed to flow freely, so he instead did what he had been trained to do, and relied on his team.
"Would it help if I told you what I was thinking?" he asked. TenTen did not look back at him, and she did not speak. She just motioned for him to continue.
"What I thought," he said, "was that you were tired of me. We spent an entire day together, and I assumed that you would like privacy."
"I…I don't want to sound crazy or needy…I know this sounds like a psychological red flag, but…I don't feel ready to be left alone."
She hated herself like this. She was acting weak and fragile and dependent. It was nothing like how she usually was, and though Lee would never judge her, she still judged herself.
"I know, I know. I said I wanted to be left alone earlier, but I spent the day with you, and I realized how much I missed…I don't know! You, him…us."
Sick of feeling like a wuss, she forced herself to turn and meet Lee's attentive gaze.
"I don't want to be left alone yet, you know?"
Lee nodded.
"I understand. I'll go get changed."
That took her aback.
"Into what?"
Standing up, Lee began walking to the bathroom.
"My pajamas." he said. "I do not sleep in this outfit, TenTen."
"Oh." she managed. "Okay."
xxxxx
Lee walked back in in boxers, and TenTen rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, Lee? Puppies?"
Lee crossed his arms.
"There is no reason to be ashamed of puppy boxers, TenTen."
She snorted and rolled her eyes.
"Dork."
Lee grinned, then took a running leap onto her bed. TenTen found herself launched upwards with a shriek and giggle as he impacted.
"Aah! Lee, what the hell?!"
"What?"
Suppressing giggles, she pointed to the couch.
"If you're wearing boxers, you sleep on the couch. I know what happens to guys in the morning, and I'm not sharing a bed with that, thank you very much."
Lee flopped on his back, and TenTen did her best to ignore just how thin those boxers were.
"Awwwww, the couch?"
"YES."
xxxxx
"TenTen, must I sleep here? This is not comfortable."
"Don't care. I'm not getting poked awake."
"…not at all youthful."
"Goodnight, Lee."
He sighed and shifted around.
"Goodnight, TenTen." he grumbled.
xxxxx
TenTen relented ten minutes later. The bed was a good bit more cramped with him in it, but sleeping back-to-back with him comforted her greatly.
AN: Took a while, didn't it? I was going to write this chapter last, but I couldn't get started on Team Eight's chapter as I had already given Hinata resolution in chapter one, and we don't really know enough about Shino and Kiba to give them satisfactory endings. I don't think Kishimoto knew what to do with them either, and I understand. Team Eight were never really major parts of the plot after Act 1, so we never got the depth needed to make anything really satisfying happen. That's why Shino's dream is finding new bugs, and Kiba is hanging out with the cat girl that we only saw once for some obscure shit. I will likely take a bit to finish their chapter, as the school year is winding up for me, but I will be finishing this story.