Author's Note
Holy cow, folks, things are getting super excited on my end! Not only am I really liking how episode five turned out, but The Ridonculous Race starts next Monday in the USA! For those not already in the know, make sure to tune in to Cartoon Network at 5:00 PM EST for the first episode, with the second to be aired at 5:30. After that, new episodes will be airing at 5:00 PM every weekday until the season is over! It's gonna be awesome!
Meanwhile, this week's episode will be taking the contestants to Japan. Which, of course, means that I've really only switched it and the Yukon episode around rather than doing any major rearranging. Honestly, this is what most of the re-ordering is gonna be since i don't want to have to rewrite challenges too much.
But that probably doesn't matter right now. On to the reviews!
Boggie445: Cool, I hope it was worth it!
aloasa: I'm glad you liked the song last episode! As for Scarlett's mood, only time will tell...and Japan, of course, is this week if you haven't already noticed. I hope you enjoy it!
Guest #1: Honestly, I have absolutely no idea on the specifics of Alejandro's settlement, it's just such a low priority thing for me to think about now. Sorry. And yeah, I am definitely looking forward to the final three seasons since they'll be much shorter.
Zak Saturday: Haha, I'm glad you liked it! Honestly, I knew pretty early on that I wanted Team Universe to lose last time, and from there it was pretty obvious that it should be Alejandro's fault, both to give an ironic sort of echo to canon events and to give a plausible second option for elimination, even though that too was gonna be a fake-out from the start. And Team Victory winning was basically just me thinking that they should catch a break after doing the 'lean forward to go faster' thing.
Glowing Insanity: Thanks, I'm glad you liked the song last episode. As for what's gonna happen next with Scarlett and her teammates...well, you'll see sooner or later.
Joel Connell: Glad you're fine with my decision to eliminate Staci first again. You're right that she doesn't seem to have much going for her, unlike Ezekiel and Beardo (although I believe you mean one-dimensional, not two-dimensional). That aside, I'm glad you like that I'm shaking things up a bit!
Elizabeth Life Stone: Ah, right, my apologies. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm glad you like DJ and Sammy as a couple!
BuckJohnson: Ezekiel's crush on Bridgette is definitely something I'm thinking about in the coming chapters. Don't look too much into DJ's homesickness, though. That aside, I hope you enjoy the season!
Karts of Sugar Rush: Well, you'll get some of that stuff this week! The stuff you expected for Japan, anyway. Super glad you liked the chapter, though, considering how ambivalent I was feeling about it myself. And I can definitely see what you mean about the song echoing 'Steven's Lament'. I wasn't watching it while I thought the song up, but I do like it and it's entirely possible that it subconsciously influenced last episode's song. As for Geoff...while he was definitely worried about Bridgette when he was getting picked up, I don't think it was because he could see and/or hear her singing with Alejandro.
CVluvFoxy: Alejandri and Ella? Who knows, except kinda me I guess. Glad you're liking Sugar's strategy, as well as the fluff between Geoff and Bridgette. And the rest, of course.
PizzaTheBomb: Yeah, I figured putting a reward on episode three would be a bit sketchy, especially since in-show Chris wanted to really emphasize the 'anything can happen' aspect in canon with three eliminations in a row. Well, I think my plan will still work out.
bruno14: Glad to hear it! Glad you liked the duet as well. And yeah, Scarlett getting everyone's votes wasn't surprising, but it was something that needed to happen. As for the relationship between Lightning and Tyler...well, you'll see eventually.
acosta perez jose ramiro: Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. He's not as alone (relatively speaking) as he was in canon, so even though he was homesick last episode it's not gonna last.
Knifez: The fact that you were getting worried about Alejandro going home for a bit means I did good with last episode's elimination - I gotta keep people on their toes, after all. As for Tyler trying to prove himself, all I'll say for now is that it's not just gonna be a one-episode thing. And yeah, I can see what you're saying about songs not really working in fics unless you know the tune. And since I'm not really good at describing the tunes that I hear when I sing them in my head, the songs this season may not get all that better - for you, and for those like you at least. As for the Scarlett-Sugar alliance...well, I guess it's to be expected that not everyone is gonna like Scarlett's stay. Or Ella's, for that matter, though I'm strangely happy that you don't like the Alejandro-Ella pairing. And yeah, the screentime was pretty lopsided last time...not quite sure how it is this episode, but I am absolutely confident that next week's episode is gonna be amazing in that respect - I swear, it's like I was on fire while writing episode five.
FOWLKON: Haha, I'm glad you both caught and like those gags! Regarding Geoff and Bridgette...I definitely have some kind of drama in the works for them, but I doubt I'll go so far as to break them up. And while Alejandro and Bridgette having *something* almost has an appeal, I don't think it'll work in this universe. I'm glad you're liking what's going on with Team Universe, by the way, and Tyler too.
Ddynamo: Huh, lucky hunch I guess. As for something foreboding happening this season...
DSX62415: Hey, I'm glad you liked it!
The Prime Writer: Haha, yeah, the amount of reviews this chapter has been getting has been nearly overwhelming...but I'll deal with it, as I always have. It's super nice knowing so many people love this series of mine! And yeah, I noticed the mentions of Alejandro and Bridgette maybe hooking up this season or something in that vein, though as I kinda told FOWLKON I'm not really sure that's the direction I'll be heading with them - it could lead to some fun moments, but I'm not sure it'll work with my other plans for the season. Sorry if I'm spoiling this, or bursting someone's bubble. And I am super happy I kinda stumbled on the notion of Tyler trying to get his teammate's respect, it's been an amazing direction to take him in so far. As for, well, most of the others who haven't gotten a lot of focus so far, I will be trying to rectify that in the coming weeks.
OMAC001: You mean like how I format the intro fully detailed intro sequences? Yeah, I like this idea, so I decided to try it out this chapter and the next. If it works, I'll keep going with it.
Ruffhero77: Haha, glad I was able to fake you out then! And yeah, I felt the same way about last episode's song though I am glad that several other reviewers liked it. As for why Bridgette was looking back sadly at Alejandro...well, perhaps I'll be able to answer that in the future. Other than that, glad you're (mostly) happy with how last week's episode turned out, and I hope you like this week's even better!
RedHornedUnicowz: Haha, you and Knifez both I think. Although the exact dynamic between Alejandro and Ella is something I've enjoyed playing with so far.
I. M. Poik: Well, it's certainly not gonna be the last time episodes are out-of-canon-order this season, so keep that in mind. That aside, I'm glad you at least liked that Team Victory won and Team Universe lost, and I hope you like this week's chapter more.
Star Saber21: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! And yeah, both destinations and eliminations are changed around, especially in the early parts of the season. But there's still the same number of people that need to be eliminated each quarter, so you will be able to predict how at least some of the episodes will end.
Guest #2: Yeah, I know, both about the reviews inevitably exceeding the number TSA got and how The Ridonculous Race is looking to be amazing. I've said it before, but I'm probably not gonna make a Shuffled version of that show simply because with only four returning contestants there's probably not much I'll be able to change. And...thank you for the praise, I haven't been compared to Kobold Necromancer before but since he's one of the big fanfic names in this fandom I'll happily accept it.
Sleep Arypsure: Oh, wow, yeah, it really has been a while hasn't it? No worries, though, I totally get that people get busy and thus don't have time to keep up with this. I'm glad you've liked this series, though, and that you're looking forward to seeing how Tyler and Ella do.
wifishark: Yeah, pretty much. Filler though it may be from an elimination standpoint, every chapter has its merits in terms of character development and subplots and such. All in all, I'm glad you liked it and I hope you like this episode as well.
Ali6132: Thanks! I'm glad to hear that yet another regular enjoyed the song last episode, as well as the direction I'm taking Tyler in right now.
And with that, the reviews are taken care of for the time being. The list of remaining contestants hasn't changed since last time, but I'll still post it to refresh everyone's memories.
Team Victory - Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff
Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean - Bridgette, Shawn, Beardo, Sierra, DJ
Team Universe - Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett
All that said and done, it's time for this week's episode at last. Strap yourself in folks, because things are gonna get wild!
- Fangren
Episode 4 – Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan
"The Yukon!" Chris began, the recap opening with a panning shot of the tundra before flashing to a downward-panning shot of the ice-filled river the cast was to cross. "Canada's frozen gem! Here our competitors discovered the thrill of ice floe jumping," shots were shown of Scarlett and Sugar's initial jumps onto the ice as well as Alejandro having a much easier time of it. "The chill of dog sledding," Team Victory was shown passing Team Universe as the teams began to sled. "And the buzzkill of frigid romance," the host finished over clips of Bridgette and Geoff trying to kiss only for the ice floe they were standing on to break apart, and of Alejandro slipping into the water after he was shocked by a polar bear rescuing Ella before he could.
"In the end, nobody went home," Chris continued over the fake-out elimination and Scarlett's subsequent rage, "not that Team Universe didn't try. The Yukon!" he repeated over shots of Chef blowing the horn made of horn, a bull moose looking up, and Alejandro and Bridgette trudging through the snow and ice together. "Live the Adventure!"
"Where will we dump our remaining competitors this time?" Chris asked from the cockpit. "Find out right now, on Total!" A blaring note played as the shot zoomed out just past the windshield. "Drama!" A second note blared, and the entire plane was shown flying toward the camera. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The final zoom-out showed a flock of birds flying across in a V-formation below the plane.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
xxx
The episode opened on a shot of the jumbo jet as it flew to the right and experienced some minor turbulence. Inside, a bolt was shook loose and hit Scarlett on the head causing the girl to rub her head and glare at the ceiling. She was sitting against the left wall of the plane with most of her teammates to her right; only Sugar was absent from the line-up.
A metal nut fell as the shot panned across the room to Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean on the opposite wall.
"Okay," Shawn muttered to himself, "just ten more minutes before my next zombie check. Not gonna compromise our safety."
"Uhh, pretty sure our safety's already compromised just bein' here," Beardo told him.
The music rose dramatically as the shot switched to an ominous patch of boards as a few of the smaller pieces began to fall to the floor, and with a great rumbling the larger ones got sucked out the hole they had been covering.
"See?" Beardo said in panic as the compartment began to decompress in a rather explosive manner. "What'd I tell you?"
Team Universe was shown straining to stay in their seats, Dawn having the most difficulty. "Oh my," she said in alarm as her body began to float a little. A few papers were shown getting sucked out of the hole, and the mystic turned herself around in mid-air and scrambled to get hold of her seat. "This isn't good!"
The background music peaked as she was about to go flying, then suddenly switched to a more lilting tune as Dawn's hands were suddenly grabbed by Sammy's. "Don't worry," the cheerleader told her friend, "I've got you!"
"Thanks," Dawn said, her smile getting replaced by growing dread as she noticed Sammy's seat belt straps start to tear. "But who has you?" The camera quickly cut to DJ as his eyes widened in fear.
"Oh em gee, this definitely isn't good!" Sammy said in panic as she saw her straps as well, and the two girls began to shriek. The background music peaked as the straps finally tore completely, sending Dawn and Sammy flying off-screen...and the rush of air promptly stopped.
The sweet and lilting tune played again as the camera cut to the hole, revealing that DJ had, in a manner of speaking, caught the two girls before they'd been sucked out the plane. "I gotcha," the gentle giant said, wedged into the hole with Dawn under one arm and Sammy under the other – although the former's legs and latter's head seemed to be wedged in the hole as well.
"Wow," Sierra said blankly as the shot cut to the others with rather stunned looks on their faces. "I bet I could write a week's worth of blog posts just on that alone."
"Quite impressive," Alejandro said, cracking a small smile. "Personally, I would've done it without getting stuck."
"Uhh, okay, but...," DJ said distractedly.
"Pfft, I seriously doubt you'd have been able to given the force of decompression we just experienced," Scarlett commented.
"Excuse me," Dawn tried to interrupt from off-screen.
"I disagree," Alejandro countered with an unamused expression, "it would've been simple with the right placement."
"Guys!" DJ finally yelled, drawing the camera's focus back to him and his squirming friends. "Would you quit it with the jokes already? We need some help over here!"
/
"Alright," Lightning said as the scene flashed to a close-up of him stretching his arms and getting out of his seat, "Lightning is ready to lead his to team to their next victory."
"How about a speech?" Scott suggested with a mocking smirk.
"Good idea, dude!" Geoff chimed in. "Speech!"
"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Geoff and Scott chanted, joined by Tyler and Ezekiel. Lightning grinned, then stood up on his seat and cleared his throat. A victorious piece of music started to play as he began to speak.
"Alright Team Victory, listen up! Today, we are gonna destroy the other teams no matter what Chris sha-throws at us. We are gonna beat them both, and we are gonna come back to first class like we deserve." The camera quickly panned across the other boys as three looked at him in awe and Scott just smirked. "And you know why? Because we are Team Victory, the best team there is. We are five dudes, and we are strong."
"To Team Dude!" Tyler said, sticking his hand into the middle of their group.
"Team Dude!" the others repeated as one as they put their hands on top of his and broke.
"Nice pep talk," Scott told the others. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go use the little dude's room." He motioned over his shoulder with his thumb, then rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Just remember not to use the confessional one, eh," Ezekiel told him. "I made that mistake already."
"Uhh, right," Scott said, giving the homeschooler an odd look.
/
The scene flashed not to the bathroom, but to what looked like the cargo hold as a tense tune began to play. Sugar was already standing amongst the boxes with her arms crossed and an annoyed look on her face, and scowled even deeper when she saw Scott walking up to her.
"It's about time!" she berated him. "You told me to meet ya here five minutes ago!"
"I got held up by the others," Scott explained.
Sugar scoffed. "Whatever. If this is some kinda secret admirer confession, I ain't interested."
The farmer's brow shot up in confusion. "What? No! I just wanted to form a secret alliance with you."
Sugar's eyes narrowed and she put her hands on her hips. "I'm listenin'..."
"Look, the others don't think much of us, right?" Scott explained in a hushed and conspiratorial tone, the camera moving closer to the two. "Especially Al and Scarlett," he added, which earned a thoughtful nod from Sugar. "The way I see it, that puts the two of us in the best position to dominate this game. If we work together, we can manipulate both our teams and decide who wins and loses each challenge!"
"You mean we'll get to choose who has to vote someone out?" Sugar asked with a skeptical-yet-hopeful expression.
"Yup," Scott told her.
"Even if it's our own team?" Sugar followed up.
"Right again," Scott smirked.
"Then you got yerself a deal!" the pageant queen declared. She spat on her hand and offered it to the farmer, who accepted it without flinching.
xxx
"Getting Sugar in an alliance is just the first part of my strategy," Scott explained with a devious smile in the restroom confessional. "The second part is using her as a scapegoat in case somebody catches on."
xxx
"This is perfect!" Sugar smiled in the next confessional. "Now I got someone to help me get Ella voted out, and someone to pin the blame on when it all turns to muck!"
xxx
"This is your Captain speaking," Chris's voice came over an intercom as the scene cut back to Sugar and Scott in the cargo hold. The focus moved to a nearby speaker as the host continued. "It's time for everyone to join me in the common area. And I mean everyone."
/
The scene flashed to a panning shot of the dining compartment, the teams already seated or standing around the two tables – Team Universe at the table closest to the host; Team Chris sharing a table with Team Victory further back.
"Welcome to today's challenge," Chris began. "It's-"
"Umm, is it a reward or an elimination?" Sammy asked.
"Good question Samey," the host told her, "aaaand like I'm gonna tell ya."
"There was a reward last time," Tyler told his teammates in a hushed voice, "so this has gotta be an elimination, right?"
"Yeah, probably," Ezekiel nodded. "I mean, it's not like there's gonna be two rewards in a row, right?"
"And I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellant," Chris continued, "because, we are about to land in...," he raised his pointer fingers up, "JAPAN!" He quickly motioned to the doorway he was standing by, and Chef Hatchet suddenly broke through it, an orange martial arts uniform in place of his usual clothes and a katana clenched in his teeth.
"Once again," Scarlett said dryly, "you demonstrate complete ignorance of the cultures you're forcing us to visit."
"Thank you Scarlett," Chris said dismissively. "Now as a reminder, anyone who doesn't sing-"
"For reference, Chef's uniform is of Chinese origin," the brainiac continued. "They're so different that it would take-"
She was cut off when her collar suddenly electrocuted her, and the shot cut to the host holding his remote control with a scowl on his face. "Anyone who doesn't sing," he repeated forcefully, "is immediately disqualified."
"I hate to say it," Ezekiel spoke up with a wary look at the slightly-smoking form of the evil genius, "but I'm pretty sure Scarlett's right, eh. You should really try harder with these facts, and-" As he spoke, Chris gave Chef and evil smirk with the hulking man eagerly returned. A fast-paced drumming tune played as Chef darted toward the side door, and the screen turned black. A few streaks of white crossed it in quick succession, each one accompanied by a metallic sound that implied the door being cut.
The footage resumed with a close-up of the door as Chef walked away from it. Despite the obvious slash marks it held its shape, but only for a second – the shot zoomed in dramatically as the door shattered and the pieces flew out into the open air. The plane began to shake, and the explosive decompression quickly sucked the contestants out of the jet; the camera cut outside to show Sierra, Scott, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Scarlett fall back from the plane.
"Or we could've just landed the plane!" Chris said irately to Chef as both men held onto the doorway for dear life.
"Nah, too boring!" Chef told him.
/
Back outside, several campers were shown falling to their presumed dooms: Ezekiel, Sugar, and Tyler; Beardo, Bridgette, Sammy, and Sierra; Scarlett, Ella, and Scott. Their screaming was halted by the trademark dings of the music note icon in the corner of the screen, accompanied by an almost angelic rendition of the series' elimination theme.
""Seriously?!" Scott asked. "You want us to sing now?!"
The shot cut up to the doorway as Chris leaned out with a megaphone to his mouth. "Sing, and I might think about saving your musical buttocks! Maybe you'll try harder this time, 'kay?"
~/~
"We're falling on a sunny, sunny day;"
[Ella opened to an elegant tune with a smile on her face.]
"We may just hit the ground, lest we find some way to stop."
[The camera zoomed out to show Alejandro falling next to her.]
"But now it seems our dreams will fade away~!"
[Alejandro sang before Beardo fell into view from above in the foreground and Ella and Alejandro fell down out of sight.]
"We're fallin' fast, and scrollin' past us, lives we're sure we've loooost~!"
[Beardo rapped before he too fell away from the camera. The music picked up, becoming deeper and more hectic.]
"I remember! All the championships I've won!"
[Lightning sang excitedly as the shot changed to his close-up. The camera zoomed out, putting the uber-jock in the background.]
"I remember! All the pageants that I've done!"
[Sugar sang next, entering the screen from below and moving to the center. Lightning dropped out of sight as the camera continued to move back.]
"I remember telling Momma that I'd take her back home;"
[DJ sang somberly, coming in from the left.]
"I remember finally getting a surfboard of my own!"
[Sugar dropped out of view as Bridgette sang, miming surfing as she entered the shot from the right. DJ fell and so did she as the hectic tune leveled out a little, and Dawn and Sammy dropped down from above.]
"We really just can't help these things we see;"
[The two blondes sang before separating as the camera pulled back from them and leaving the screen in opposite directions.]
"Our memories are short, cause dudes, we're way too young to die!"
[Geoff and Tyler sang as they, too dropped from above.]
"And although Chris would prob'ly disagree;"
[Sierra sang, flying into view from the lower left corner as the boys moved to the background.]
"It sucks to sing for a life that's in front of your eyes!"
[Shawn sang rapidly, sliding across the screen from the right after Geoff and Tyler abruptly dropped away and Sierra slid off to the left. The camera kept on Shawn as he joined Ezekiel, and he took him by the arm. The music became quieter, yet much more tense as the camera rapidly panned left, pausing on each contestant in turn who had joined hand-in-hand with one another.]
"I remember the farm, eh!" Ezekiel said.
"And shooting the rats!" Scott chimed in.
"I remember the singing!" Ella was next.
"My first physics class!" Scarlett added.
"I remember the parties!" Geoff continued.
"And all of the beats!" Beardo said.
"I remember my best goal!" Tyler declared.
"My bird friend's first tweets!" Dawn added.
"I remember my first kiss," Sammy said next.
"And then going steady!" Sierra continued.
"We don't wish to die, Chris!" Alejandro said. The camera abruptly cut to a shot of the entire cast in the circle, with Lightning, Sugar, DJ, and Bridgette bridging the gap between Alejandro and Shawn.
"SO SAVE US ALREADY!" the cast yelled together.
~/~
The music ended there, and the scene changed to a long-distance shot of the now-scattered cast falling and screaming through the air.
They landed in, of all things, a gigantic bowl of rice, with Ezekiel being the last one to plop into the grain about a half-second after the rest of the cast.
"Well this definitely seems Japanese," Scarlett said dryly upon surfacing.
"Oh really?" Scott asked snidely, coming up next to her. "What makes you think that?"
"Prob'ly all the rice," Sugar said, popping out behind them, various other people's limbs sticking out around her. "They eat rice in Japan, right?"
"Among other things," Alejandro told her as he came up and took a breath. "Fortunately I know Japanese, in case we need it."
"Me too, eh," Ezekiel chimed in weakly, earning a skeptical look from the charming villain.
/
The footage skipped forward with a flash to a panning shot of the teams, now completely rice-free – Team Victory on the left, then Team Universe, and finally Team Chris. A gong sounding led into a quick 'Far East'-style theme, ending as the camera reached the host and the gong he was standing next to.
"Okay, our first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio," Chris explained. "Bow down before...," he bowed as he spoke in a dramatic tone. The shot changed to a pair of odd structures which, upon the camera's rapid outward zoom, were revealed to be the flippers on a giant pinball machine. "Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!" the host said to a techno theme.
Tyler gasped in excitement. "I love Japanese game shows!" he said, pumping his fist and whooping excitedly. "My favorite is 'Human Itchy My Car Go-Go'," he said to his teammates who were giving him odd looks, "where you gotta throw a banana into a car window using a giant shrimp fork!" He mimed throwing the banana, then pumped his fist again. "This is awesome!"
He was startled by a sudden sounding of the gong. "Oh look," Chris smiled as the shot cut to him, "my own personal geek gong! 'Kay, I'm gonna need one volunteer from each team to climb into these giant hamster balls," he explained as the camera cut to a line of three balls already loaded by the plunger, each one of the team's colors. "Then, your teammates are gonna beat you around the gameboard," the music became tenser as shots of the flippers and the playfield were shown, "scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and posts." The scoreboard was shown with Team Chris' icon with the top row, Team Universe's with the middle, and Team Victory's with the bottom; close-ups of the various bumpers and such were shown as well.
"Most points win," Chris told them, "and I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball-shaped paradise with." The members of Team Chris were shown exchanging confused and skeptical looks. "So! Teams! Select a ball guy, or gal. Universe?"
"I'll do it," Alejandro and Sugar volunteered at the same time, prompting the two to look at one another.
"My apologies," the charmer said, "but I must insist since I'm the most athletic member of our team."
"Athletic nothin'," Sugar countered, "I'm the one who's gonna be ridin' that hamster ball!"
xxx
"I've wanted to know what it was like inside one of those things ever since I saw one on TV," Sugar explained in the restroom confessional. "I bet the whole world looks different when yer rollin' around!" She spread her arms wide as a grin formed on her face.
xxx
"Very well," Alejandro told the glaring pageant queen, "I'll let Sugar do it."
"Coolio," Chris said. "Here's your pinball buddy!" He held up an adorable baby panda.
"Once again," Scarlett said in a belligerent tone, "this show has demonstrated its appalling ignorance. Pandas are native to China, and thus are not a so-called 'local surprise'."
"Hey, do you want me to shock you again?" Chris told her with an annoyed expression. "Because I will." He locked eyes with the evil genius, and Scarlett scowled and looked away. "Right. Here ya go, Sugar," he told the pageant queen just before tossing the baby panda at her.
She caught it under its armpits, and it growled at her. "Hey, don't you be tryin' nothin'," she scolded it.
"Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean?" the host next, pointing to the next team who looked suddenly sheepish.
"Uhh, I think DJ should do it," Sierra suggested.
"What? No! What if I hurt the panda?" the gentle giant squeaked in alarm.
"I'd be more concerned about it hurting you," Shawn said. "For all we know it could be carrying some kind of zombie virus!"
"DJ, don't worry, you'll be fine!" Sierra reassured the brickhouse. "You're tough enough to handle being a human pinball, and gentle enough to make sure the panda isn't hurt!"
"I don't know...," DJ told her.
"Well I do!" Chris said off-camera before a second panda came flying at the gentle giant. "Think fast, DJ!" he said seconds after the panda had already landed on the boy's head and started to bite and punch him.
"Get it off!" DJ cried in panic. "Get it off!"
"Mmmaybe this wasn't such a good idea," Bridgette told Sierra, both girls watching with wide eyes.
"Aaaaand Team Victory," the host continued without concern.
"Lightning ain't afraid of no panda," the uber-jock spoke up. "Bring it on, Chris!"
"Uhh, you sure about that dude?" Geoff asked with a wary look at the other teams. "Those things look vicious."
"Do I look like I'm not sure?" Lightning asked. "We are Team Dude, we are not gonna let ourselves get beaten by a baby bear."
"Glad to hear it!" Chris grinned. "That's why I saved the meanest one for you guys." He held up a metal cage, which rattled as the panda inside hissed and growled. The host opened the door, and the bear shot out like a black-and-white blur, tackling Lightning to the ground. His teammates winced as he hollered out in pain.
/
"It's Human Pinball time!" Chris announced over another shot of the three balls in the plunger as dramatic challenge music began to play. Chef, dressed as a fairly stereotypical samurai, pulled the knob back and sent the balls flying – red, then blue, then yellow; all three rolling around the curve of the playfield.
"No!" DJ shrieked during a close-up of the red ball, the panda still assaulting his head. He hit a red bumper, and 1000 points were shown being added to Team Chris's score. The blue ball was also shown ricocheting off a few bumpers, scoring a thousand points for Team Universe. "I gotta stop!" DJ shrieked again as his hamster ball bounced off another bumper, and barely missed another. "And you do too!" the brickhouse added as he was shown trying to pry the panda off his head while trying to control the ball by running.
"Sha-bang!" Lightning exclaimed as the focus cut to the yellow ball, which rapidly bounced between the wall and a series of posts. "Sha-pow! Sha-zap!" The camera cut in closer to show the uber-jock wrestling with his ball partner, getting the panda in a headlock but having the situation reversed after the ball ricocheted again.
Meanwhile, Sugar was also having difficulties with her panda partner. "C'mon you, let go of me!" she demanded as she ran the ball along, the baby bear biting down hard on her left arm. "I gotta concentrate!" The camera cut outside as the blue ball bounced of another bumper, putting Team Universe's score at 11,000. Sugar's ball rolled into a center hole, and was promptly launched straight up into the air. "Now what's this about?" she said, both her and her panda floating in confusion.
The shot cut to the left paddle as the other members of Team Universe tried to move it. "We need a 33.7° angle in order to maximize the desired impact!" Scarlett directed, pushing at the tip of the flipper with Dawn.
"We know that already," Alejandro said from closer to the flipper's base, "so stop telling us!"
The group was startled and staggered by the sudden impact of the yellow ball against their flipper. "Thanks for the sha-boost, losers!" Lightning taunted.
The blue ball was shown again, making several rapid bounces across the playfield; their part of the scoreboard was shown ringing up to 38,000 points. Lightning's ball also continued to bounce, racking Team Victory's score up to 40,000. The camera got a shot of all three balls next, the blue and yellow ones continuing to ricochet rapidly while the red had slowed noticeably. The scoreboard reflected this – Team Universe and Team Victory now had 44,000 each, while Team Chris was lagging behind at a meager 15,000.
DJ's ball was shown rolling around again, only bouncing off a single bumper as it headed into the drain. The camera cut to it coming to a stop against the back wall, after which one half popped open and DJ slumped out onto the floor. "Aww man, that bit big time," he moaned. "But at least I didn't hurt the panda...right?" He lifted his head and looked back just as the panda walked out calmly and without a scratch.
xxx
"What was I supposed to do," the gentle giant asked in the restroom confessional, his whole body covered in scratches, "let the panda get hurt? Nuh-uh," he shook his head, "no way."
xxx
/
The challenge footage resumed with a shot of the remaining two balls bouncing around; they soon collided, and the yellow one was sent rolling all the way to the drain.
"Aww, man!" Lightning griped as he exited the giant hamster ball with an unconscious baby panda under his arm. "Lightning had that in the bag, too!"
xxx
"Dang bear musta messed me up," the uber-jock guessed in the restroom confessional. He'd been scratched up like DJ had been, but not nearly as badly. "Oh well. Team Victory's still gonna win today."
xxx
The final ball made its own final bounces, and rolled to a stop next to Team Chris's. Sugar and her panda exited at the same time, and while both were so dizzy that they immediately fell over neither looked much worse for wear otherwise.
Sammy, Dawn, and Ella were shown cheering, and the background music took a triumphant finish as Chris walked up. "With a score of 101,000," he announced as the middle part of the scoreboard was shown again, "Team Universe takes the Super Human Mega Pinball Smash, and wins a leg-up in the next Japanese challenge."
"Did somebody get the number on that tractor?" Sugar asked weakly, lifting herself up just enough to collapse again.
"Will Sugar recover from her harrowing victory?" the host asked the camera as a tense theme played in the background. "Or will Team Universe be forced to go on without her? Stay tuned," a gong sounded and he began to chop the air with his hands, "there's more wacky-cappy-macky-teriyaki action, after the break." He winked at the camera, and an Eastern-sounding music riff played.
(Fade to Commercial and Back)
Another stereotypical east Asian theme played as the episode resumed with a scene of Chris standing in what appeared to be last season's film lot. "Welcome to Total! Drama! Action!" he announced as the camera pulled back and a line of Japanese text appeared at the top of the screen.
"Where there will be crazy action," he continued over a clip of Shawn and Bridgette running from a bear during the second season's first challenge, as viewed through a monitor. "And kooky filming," the host added over a clip of Jo and Shawn and Alejandro setting down film equipment at the top of a hill. "And somber eating," Chris said over a clip of the whole season two cast eating breakfast in the craft services tent.
"This is not the food that I desire." Though the words came out of Alejandro's mouth as he was shown reaching for a pepper shaker for his eggs, it was very blatantly not Alejandro's voice -though it still spoke English.
"I think you're very cute," 'DJ' told Sammy as the two hid in a dark room together; once again, his voice was not his own though it still spoke English.
"I think you're very cute too," 'Sammy' replied as the two kissed, and another line of Japanese text scrolled down the screen.
"Total Drama Action!" the actual Chris McLean said over a shot of his gleaming gold statue that was followed by a shot of the host and Chef in their formal attire at one of the Gilded Chris Ceremonies. "Pears and apples of fun!" A few shots of the animatronic monster's first reign of terror over the contestants was shown next with yet another line of Japanese text on the screen, and the feed cut to static.
xxx
The scene immediately cut to a shot from behind the cast, sitting in standing in front of a movie screen, the static it showed getting quickly replaced by a generic globe image.
"Woah, what was that about?" Geoff asked in confusion.
"That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo," Chris explained as he walked in front of the movie screen. "Total Drama is huuuuge here!"
"But that was in English," Sammy said. "Why did they change our voices?"
"Turns out the locals just don't like the sounds of y'all," Chris said with an impish shrug. "Sorry!"
"You don't look it," Scott said.
"True...," the host conceded with a smile before moving on. "Ready for the next challenge? I hope you paid attention because you'll be writing, directing, and producing your very own Japanese commercial!" he announced happily.
"There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market," he explained before pulling out a pinkish bag of snacks with the image of a fishtail on the front. "It's Chef's 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails'!" he said as an appropriate tune played. "I call this the 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails' Challenge," he said as the same stereotypically east-Asian tune played, "of Celebration Fun." He winked at the camera and the light gleamed off his smile.
"Mmm, you said we were gonna pay a real Tokyo ad firm," Chef said in annoyance.
"Oops," Chris said with an unapologetic smile, "I did! Didn't I? As props," he continued without further thought towards his assistant, "you'll be allowed to use anything you can find in the airplane's storage area. Since Team Universe won the first challenge, they get to choose their props first."
The six teens cheered and shared a group high five that was soon dissolved by the distrust between several of their members.
"With Team Victory choosing second," the host added, "and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean stuck with...whatever dregs are left..." The five members of the team in question glared at the man they'd been named after.
/
The scene flashed to Team Universe in the cargo hold where they were looking over boxes and crates full of miscellaneous junk.
"Hmmm...I'm seeing...," Alejandro said as he peered into an open box and pulled out a miniature house and a spider costume, "a tiny Tokyo...a giant radioactive monster...!" A grin formed on his face as he looked between the two objects.
Scarlett sniffed in disdain. "That's it? That idea is too bland, it'll never work!"
"I dunno," Sugar said as she approached with a curious look on her face, "I kinda like it. And I should know, I was in an actual commercial once," she told her teammates proudly.
"Oh really?" Alejandro asked with an amused expression.
"Sure was!" the pageant queen said. "I was the star of the 'Darwin's Food Safari' restaurant commercial! I played a talkin' cow."
"Well then, I bet you'd be perfect as our monster!" Alejandro told her, holding the spider costume up to her body to see how it fit. "Ladies, what do you think?"
"I think it's great!" Sammy said with a smile that was shared by Ella, while Dawn merely watched passively.
"Excellent," the charmer said. He picked up the box he'd found the miniature house and costume in, and led his team away – right by Team Victory. The camera zoomed in on Sugar as she gave Scott a sly wink, which the farmer answered with a knowing smirk and nod.
"Good luck with your video!" Ella told the boys just before she followed her teammates out of sight.
"Thanks," Tyler said with a smile, "you too!" His gaze lingered in the direction Team Universe had left in before he turned back to see Lightning glaring at him.
"Now tell me Lightning did not just see you wishin' the other team good luck," the alpha jock scolded. "They're the enemy, New Guy! We want them to have bad luck, right boys?"
"I guess so," Ezekiel said thoughtfully. "I mean, we do want 'em to lose, eh."
"Definitely," Scott said with a nasty grin. "The worse luck for them, the better luck for us."
"I dunno, guys," Geoff said, "that seems a little harsh, don'tcha think?"
"Not if we wanna keep winnin'," Lightning said. "Now come on, Team Dude! Let's grab some stuff and get movin'!" He picked up a seemingly random crate and carried it off, leaving his teammates to give each other wary looks.
/
The scene flashed to the five members of Team Chris looking at what remained of the props.
"Well this certainly doesn't look good," Shawn commented as the camera panned from one useless-looking pile to the next, including a box of crumbs, an empty and cracked fish tank, and a dead seagull.
"Well I'm not about to give up," Bridgette said as she looked more closely at the dregs and held up a string of Christmas lights. "In fact," she started to smile, "I bet we can put together something that just might work!"
/
Another flash took the scene to Team Universe as Sammy and Scarlett set up a bunch of miniature buildings and cars. Sugar cleared her throat off-screen, prompting the camera to pan to her as she declared "Grr! I am a giant monster!" In addition to the spider costume she was wearing what looked like the head and hands of Chef's 'Mama Alien' costume from the second season. She paused, then frowned. "Hold on, somethin' ain't right. What's my motivation again?"
"You're a giant radioactive abomination," Scarlett told her impatiently while still adjusting one of the buildings. "You just want to destroy everything in your way."
"Oh," the pageant queen said. "So, kinda like you, then?" She gave Scarlett a cheeky grin, and received a glare in return.
The camera panned over to Alejandro as he tossed one of the candy fishtails into his mouth, chewed it a couple times, made a face of disgust, and puked it back out.
xxx
"Like...rotted fish intestine with a side-order of fermented squid and dirty hockey equipment," he explained in the restroom confessional before bending over and throwing up on the floor.
xxx
"Okay, so once the fishtail breaks out of its tank to escape the seagull," Bridgette said as she moved the various props they'd gathered through the motions she'd described, her teammates watching over her, "it hops down the beach and into the water!"
"Ooh!" Sierra spoke up, excitedly picking up a string of flashing lights. "Maybe we can use these to spell something out, or have them light up as the fishtail passes or something?"
"Great idea, I think we can work with that," Bridgette told her.
"What about this?" DJ asked, drawing his teammate's attention to the beach ball he was holding above his head. "I was thinkin' the fishtail could narrowly avoid gettin' squashed by it a couple times as it tried to get to the water."
"Awesome!" the surfer told him. "Yeah, I think that's just what we should do. That makes it..."
"Hold on, we're still gonna have the fishtail jump into my mouth at the end, right?" Shawn asked, holding up a small box. "Because I found a few fireworks we might be able to use."
"Awesome!" Bridgette smiled. "See, I knew this was gonna come together perfectly! Beardo, you ready to start filming yet?" She looked over at the beatboxer, who held up a camcorder and raised a thumbs-up with the sound of a ship's bell. "Great," the surfer said. "now everyone, get in your places so we can get started."
"Ooh, I am sooo excited," Sierra gushed as the five moved apart and she picked up the fishtank. "I just know that Chef is gonna love it."
/
"I still think this is ridiculous," Scott told Tyler, taking off the hockey mask that along with a kabuto helmet and black robe comprised his costume. "Chef's never gonna take this seriously!"
"Just trust me, I know what I'm doing," the jock said. He was also in costume, though his was little more than a salmon-colored baseball helmet with long springs attached like horns, as well as an empty back of candy fishtails taped to his chest. The two boys were standing in front of a city backdrop and on top of what looked like green carpet.
"You have five minutes left to film your ad," Chris announced from off-screen. "Then it's Happy Fish...Yum...wha...whatever. We'll be watching them in five minutes."
"Good thing our trainwreck is already done," Scott said snidely as he walked off, leaving Tyler to scowl.
/
"And that's a wrap!" Bridgette said happily as the scene cut back to Team Chris. Sierra and DJ set down the string of lights and dead seagull; Shawn licked his fingers and extinguished a sparkler; and Beardo pressed the button on his camcorder.
"Alright," he told the others, "just leave it to me. I'll get this edited in no time."
"Thanks, dude," DJ told him, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he walked past; other members of the team doing similarly.
/
The footage skipped ahead to a shot of Beardo wiping the sweat from his forehead and grinning. "Perfect," he said as he leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, "Chef's gonna love it."
"Hey!" Sugar called from off-camera, attracting the attention of both it and Beardo. She was still in her costume, and was fiddling with a zipper that ran down the front of it. "Gimme a hand here, will ya? My teamies ditched me and I can't get this dang suit off!"
Beardo stared for half a second, then shrugged and walked over. As he began to help, the perspective moved over Sugar's shoulder to reveal her watching Scott tiptoe up to the video editing equipment the beatboxer had been using. She grinned and gave him a thumbs up as he started messing with Team Chris's tape, then quickly changed to more frantic gestures as Beardo made a cash register sound and got the zipper unstuck. In rising panic Scott made several more changes, then ducked behind a nearby crate just as Beardo stood up and looked back.
"Hey, thanks!" Sugar said, distracting the boy again. "Now we better hurry, the film's are gonna be shown soon!" Beardo nodded and made the sound of a ship's bell again, then turned around and grabbed a disc out of the computer.
/
The scene flashed back to the room the Japanese promo had been shown in, the camera panning across Team Victory, Team Chris, and Team Universe as they stood together in wait.
"Oh, were you just changing?" Sammy asked Sugar as the latter walked up.
"Yup!" the pageant queen said, ignoring the peculiar look Dawn was giving her. "That suit was makin' me all sweaty, so it took a while but I got it!"
"Oh, good," the cheerleader said blankly.
"Alright," Chris said as he walked up to the front of the room, "now that you're done filming it's time to see if your hard work has paid off. Chef?"
The shot panned over to the sulking man. "No budget no ad agency rip-off cheese-ball cheap show," he grumbled as he pointed a remote towards an unseen projector.
"First up," the host said, "Team Universe with 'Monster Rampage'!"
xxx
The grainy film began with a close-up of one of the cardboard box buildings before zooming out dramatically to reveal Monster-Sugar tromping and smashing around the fake city to an appropriately dangerous and old-timey musical score. "Roar! Grr! Smash!" the pageant queen roared over various close shots of her destroying the city and smashing a pair of model trucks together.
The shot changed to look down on Alejandro, Sammy, Scarlett, and Ella, standing tense and fearful with army helmets on. Monster-Sugar stood up in the foreground of the shot, the angle making it look like she was towering over the others.
"Oh no!" Alejandro cried as the music became tenser. "The large out-of-shape monster!"
"We have to run!" Sammy declared dramatically.
"Think of the children!" Scarlett said in a remarkably neutral tone.
"Oh what shall we do?!" Ella finished.
The next shot looked up at Sugar as she roared again, and the camera cut to Dawn as she descended in front of her teammates in lotus position, a wire clearly attached to her back. "Fear not, mortals!" she declared. "Use these to defeat the monster!" She pulled out a back of candy fishtails and tossed them to Sammy, and the music turned triumphant as a close-up of Sammy pulling a fishtail from the bag was shown, and followed by her throwing it at Monster-Sugar.
It was shown landing right in the pageant queen's mouth, who quickly swallowed it and grinned. "Hey, that's delicious!"
The old-timey music was replaced by a more modern electronic beat as Monster-Sugar began to dance in front of an orange-and-yellow spiral background, the heads of her five teammates appearing around her – Dawn on top, then Alejandro and Sammy in the upper left and right, and Scarlett and Ella on the bottom.
"Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time," the five sang together as their heads pulsed and bobbed and the background spun, "Candy Fishtails, better than no-no. Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time, tastes so good! Wash your face!" The heads and dancing monster were replaced by a lone bag of the candies as the commercial came to its end.
xxx
/
"Next up," Chris said back in the viewing room with the final shot of Team Universe's movie still lingering on the movie screen, "Team Victory with 'The Masked Fishtail's Victory'." The screen behind him turned to static, which promptly took over the scene.
xxx
The commercial opened Lightning, Geoff, and Ezekiel tossing a flying disc to one another in front of what was clearly the city backdrop from earlier. A fast-paced and energetic tune was playing, but it was interrupted after only a few seconds when a fireworks 'explosion' went off next to the boys, forcing them to dive to the side in an exaggerated fashion.
"Watch out!" Lightning declared with a dramatic point off-screen. "It's the evil Warlord, uhh...Scottayama!"
"He's gonna destroy us all, eh!" Ezekiel cried, clutching his head in his hands.
"Nyahaha!" a familiar voice laughed, the camera panning awkwardly to show the costumed Scott standing on top a nearby crate. "Bow down and tremble before me, mortals! And watch as I unleash my...my...," he faltered a bit, then opened his robe just enough so that the corner of a piece of paper could be seen. "My Doom Laser of Evil Destruction!" he finally declared, with an additional "...seriously?" muttered under his breath.
"Not the Doom Laser of Evil Destruction!" Geoff exclaimed in over-exaggerated shock. "Won't someone save us from it?!" He grabbed his hair in panic, but the music shifted into something triumphant and yet distinctly Japanese as the shot cut Tyler striking a heroic pose on top of yet another crate. He was also in costume, and was even wearing a simple superhero-style mask under his helmet.
"You should be trembling, Warlord Scottayama," Tyler declared with a dramatic hand sweep, "for the Masked Fishtail is here!"
"Hah!" Scott laughed as the shot pulled back to show both of them on their crates, with the other boys crouched in front of the obvious backdrop. "You'll never stop me!" He hunched down and cupped his hands together, then sort of hummed in concentration as a frosted donut appeared between his hands.
"Thanks to Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails," Tyler declared over a close-up of a bag he'd pulled out from behind his back, "I can do anything!"
"Nyah!" Scott yelled, launching the the donut from his hands. It was shown hitting the crate Tyler was standing on and 'exploding' into a few more fireworks, but Tyler had already jumped. The shot changed to show him jumping over the camera, then cut again to show him launching a punch at Scott who had gotten down from his crate.
"Fishtail Punch!" he announced before completely whiffing the punch, losing his balance, and knocking into his teammate-turned-nemesis. Scott grunted in pained annoyance as Tyler landed on top of him, and the other three boys cheered.
"You did it, Masked Fishtail!" Geoff said.
"And so can you," Tyler told the camera with a smile as he held up his bag of snacks, "with the power of Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails."
xxx
/
"That was awesome!" Tyler declared in excitement as the footage cut back to him and his teammates in the viewing room.
"That was embarrassing," Scott countered while palming his face in shame.
"Whatever it was," Chris interjected with a scowl, "it's over now. Next up, Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean!"
"You're gonna love it," Bridgette said as the camera cut to the five members of the team, all smiling confidently. "We call it 'Fishtail Happy Go Time'."
Chris raised an eyebrow at them, then turned to the screen as it cut to static.
xxx
For some reason, the video started already in-progress with a shaky shot of a single candy fishtail landing in a tub of water as Sierra sang "...don't let it be in vain" to a hectic tune. A line of flashing lights followed the candy into the pool, but as the camera zoomed in after them it suddenly cut to an entirely different scene.
"Eat them now, eat them then," Sierra sang, still off-camera, as the shot focused on a single candy fishtail swimming in a cracked tank, "eat them anytime!". It seemed to 'look' from side to side in time to the lyrics, each time seeing a dead seagull outside with its mouth wide open as if trying to eat the candy. Sierra stopped there but the music itself continued, and the seagull was seen getting dropped by a black-skinned hand just before it reached in and plucked the fishtail out of the water.
Another abrupt scene change put the focus on Shawn's face as the candy fishtail suddenly flew into his mouth. The music seemed to come to a dramatic conclusion as Sierra sang "You'll shine!" in a similarly conclusive manner, a line of flashing lights forming a border around the scene as four sparklers and a few other fireworks were lit behind the survivalist, who was forcing a smile.
"...very good, eat them and you'll shine!" Sierra sang during the next abrupt scene change, this time showing the fishtail swimming up out of the water as the string of flashing lights spiraled around it. Part of Shawn moved into frame just as the clip ended.
"Okay, take two," Bridgette said clearly as the scene abruptly changed yet again, now showing a still shot of a bag of fishtails against a yellow-orange starburst pattern. "Action!"
The music that had been used throughout the video 'started' there, as Sierra also 'began' to sing. "Total Drama Yum-" she sang as the bag started to 'dance', but the video noticeably skipped there and continued as "-Candy Fishtails!"
"You'll shine!" Sierra sang again in what appeared to be an exact duplicate of the earlier scene depicting the fireworks going off as Shawn ate the fishtail. The music ended there once again, as did the video.
xxx
"Yeah," Chris told Team Chris with an unamused look on his face, "I definitely didn't love it."
"What was that?!" Sierra hissed in disbelief at Beardo as Bridgette, DJ, and Shawn gaped – as did the other teams who were standing on either side of them.
"I don't know!" Beardo answered with panic and confusion in his voice. "That ain't what I wanted to put together! It musta saved wrong or somethin'!"
"Save the excuses," Chris told him before looking at his assistant. "Well, Chef?"
The shot cut to the hulking man as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Chris, ah, I think I gotta go with Team Victory." The five boys immediately began to cheer as victorious music began to play. "I don't know, I just loved the explodin' donut ray."
"Dude, that was totally off the hook!" Geoff told Tyler, sharing a double low-five with the jock as Ezekiel and even Lightning gave him a pat on the back.
"Thanks," Tyler said with a quick rub of his nose and a proud smirk, "I did my best."
"Guess I was wrong this time," Scott admitted with an impish shrug.
"Congratulations Team Victory," Chris told them. "But Chef, I also have to know: who bit the biggest?"
"Uhh," Chef said with a contemplative glare, "those guys." He pointed at Team Chris, who hung their heads in shame. "You had a good concept, but that was some awful editing. You lose!" he declared with a fierce expression as ominous chanting music welled up in the background. "You're sending someone home! Tonight!"
"Aww man," DJ cried, "I knew it was comin', but this still really hurts."
Shawn sighed. "Well guys, it was bound to happen eventually."
"I know I was looking forward to it," Chris told them with a wide grin.
/
The scene flashed to some secluded part of the cargo hold, where Scott and Sugar were meeting once again.
"Heh heh, today turned out better than I thought," Scott said in a hushed tone.
"I know!" Sugar chuckled in a low voice. "And the best part is, I hardly had to do anything! Guess you were right about us teamin' up."
"Looks like it," the farmer said. "Just make sure to keep this a secret, we don't want the others seeing us together."
"Got it," Sugar nodded. The two walked off together, and the ominous music began again just as they passed a large stack of crates, and Dawn stepped out from behind it the moment they left the screen.
"I wonder what Sugar was doing with Scott?" she muttered in confusion.
/
"Iiiit's vote time!" Chris announced as a few dramatic notes played to the members of Team Chris, currently sitting at a table in the dining area. "Up in the loser class bathroom," he explained a deep note was struck. "you'll find five passports," the note was struck again as he held up five fingers. "Stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home." The deep note transitioned, as usual, into the standard voting music. "And make sure it's clear who you're voting for, okay?"
The camera panned across the five teens as they nodded sadly.
xxx
"Hmm...," Sierra said as she looked over the passports of her teammates that were spread on the bathroom countertop. "Who messed up the most..."
xxx
Bridgette was next, bringing a stamp down hard on a passport. It's picture, however, wasn't quite visible in the clip.
xxx
"I still don't know what happened," Beardo said as the camera focused in on DJ's passport laying on the counter, "but I can't give up now. Sorry," he finished by stamping down on the brickhouse's picture.
xxx
DJ himself was next, holding up Beardo's passport in one hand and his own in the other. "If I hadn't choked in the first challenge," he whispered uncertainly, "maybe we woulda done better on the video."
xxx
"Sorry," Shawn told the camera while holding up Beardo's passport to it, "but we can't afford another mistake like that." He set the passport down, then stamped it.
xxx
A gong sound as the scene cut to the elimination room, Chris and Chef standing by the door while the five teens waited near the seats. The host was holding five passports fanned-out in his hand, while Chef carried a tray with four bags of barf-coated peanuts.
"Those staying the game will get in-flight snacks," Chris said while Chef smiled at the camera, "aaand if you don't get one, you'll be taking the Drop of Shame." The camera followed his hand to the door as it swung open. The five contestants were shown standing in stunned silence, and the host continued. "The following players are safe: Shawn!" Chef eagerly threw a bag of peanuts at the survivalist, who quickly ducked before they hit him. "Bridgette!" Next in line, the surfer wasn't as quick to dodge and grunted in annoyance when her prize hit her in the side. "Sierra!" Likewise, the tall fangirl made a noise of displeasure upon getting hit in the stomach.
"And," Chris said with a pause as the music ramped the tension and Beardo and DJ were shown looking nervous, "the final bag goes to...DJ!" The gentle giant was shown wiping his brow in relief shortly before all attention moved to the beatboxer.
Beardo made the familiar sound of a classic video game character dying as he stepped forward, his head hung sadly.
"For what it's worth," Bridgette told him with a hand on his shoulder, "I do wish it didn't have to be this way."
"Yeah, me neither," Beardo said. "I just wish I'd had the time to figure out what really happened to our video." He sighed, and the music faded out as he put his hands to his mouth and began to play 'Taps'. He made his way to the exit, then stopped playing to accept the parachute pack from the smiling host. He put in on as the somber elimination tune started up again, but paused before jumping to make the sound of a lightbulb clicking on. "Hold up," he said with realization on his face, "I bet it was because of-"
He was cut off when a frowning Chef Hatchet kicked him in the back, sending him flying out the open door. The shot immediately cut outside and zoomed out as Chris leaned out and waved. "Good luck, dude!" he said before the perspective switched back inside, where Beardo could just be heard hollering as he fell. "He's yelling something back at me," Chris said while bending down slightly. "Can't make it out, though."
/
"Sayonara, from Japan" Chris said over a close-up of an airplane symbol placed over the relevant spot on a world map. The shot zoomed out as the series' dramatic capstone theme played, and the symbol began looping westward across the map to the roar of the real jet's engines. "Where will our travels take us next?"
"Will Scott and Sugar actually dominate the game?" he asked over a shot of the two villains shaking hands, then turning their backs to one another and exchanging suspicious glares. "What other weird products does Chef want to sell?" The next shot showed the cook grinning at a donut held in his palm which had a firecracker stuck in it; the fuse burnt down and the donut exploded, covering the man with dough.
"All these questions, and many more," Chris continued as the camera cut to him lounging in the cockpit, "probably won't be answered. On the next episode of, Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" At the final zoom-out, the furthest-out engine on the left wing suddenly exploded and fell off.
(Fade to Credits)
/
/
/
[Bonus Clip]
The clip faded in to Beardo performing a hiphop remix of 'Taps' as he floated downwards, his parachute completely and safely open. He finally stopped beatboxing, and looked straight at the camera. "Man, I have the worst luck on this show. Backstabbed, cheated, and now sabotaged?" He shook his head in disappointment and sighed. "At least, I think I got sabotaged," he clarified. "Probably when I was helpin' Sugar."
"Least I got more time to work on my solo album now, and-" he cut himself off upon glancing downward, and the camera zoomed out to reveal that he was approaching another giant bowl of rice, this one strapped to flatbed truck. "Huh, what're the odds?" he said. He quickly started making the whistling sound of something falling, which turned into a watery splash as he landed in the grain, and finally switched to the sounds of a ship sinking as he himself sank dramatically.
Author's Note - Post Script
And thus falls Beardo, victim once again to the necessities of plot. Sorry to all his fans, but as much as I've enjoyed writing and developing him I just wasn't able to come up with a good subplot that would warrant a longer stay. As such, he becomes the victim of Scott and Sugar's alliance. Incidentally, this is why I decided to switch around Japan and the Yukon - I figured Japan would better lend itself to Beardo's elimination since there was an obvious way to get the villainous duo involved. Hopefully everyone is at least fine with how things turned out, at least in terms of the elimination.
Regarding Scarlett...I know a lot of you were hoping for her to get some kind of revenge against Sugar here, but obviously that didn't really happen. Sorry. If it's any consolation, you can think of it as Scarlett just biding her time and laying low until she can really act.
Once again, Tyler helps his team to win. I decided to expand upon the love for Japanese game shows that he displayed in canon to include tokusatsu as well - basically, Power Rangers and the like for those who aren't familiar with the genre. It's the sort of thing I can see Tyler really getting into, and it showed here in the direction he had his team's commercial take.
This episode's song, by the way, is titled 'I Remember'. The tune is sort of a mix between 'Before We Die' from canon and the song Ella sang while falling during the first episode of Pahkitew Island. It's not perfect (Bridgette's first line still feels awkward to me for instance) but I think it works. Also, as I told OMAC001 in response to their review, I decided to change the song format to be something more like the detailed intro sequences. How does everyone like it?
And, of course, how does everyone like the chapter as a whole? Let me know, I'm excited to see your reviews!
Until next week, and enjoy the debut of The Ridonculous Race!
-Fangren
Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants
Staci - (17th Place)
Beardo - (16th Place)