Author's Note
Here we are dear readers, at the end of the first quarter of the season's main plot! As I said last week, I'm really really liking this episode and I hope you all do too. Next week if our first Aftermath, and I'll admit it hasn't actually been finished yet - the fact that it's an Aftermath, plus the fact that I had to come up with two new songs for it, really slowed me down. Fortunately, the musical numbers are out of the way so it's just the rest of the second interview and closing segments that I have to write on Saturday.
So, how has everyone been liking The Ridonculous Race so far? By the time most of you read this, the first week of episodes should be over with (the Brazil episode hasn't officially aired yet as I read this, and as such I haven't seen it as I have been avoiding watching the early episodes that Cartoon Network themselves put out). Personally, I love it - Don is a great host, the teams are pretty much all amazing, and I've really only taken issue with the first elimination.
But, of course, that's not why we're all here right now. There's an exciting and dramatic episode to get to, and also a bunch of reviews.
CVluvFoxy: I'm so glad you liked it! I like Sugar as well, and it's been fun doing more stuff with her this season than I was able to in season one. And yeah, I haven't given Beardo much of a break...it's sad, but somebody has to get eliminated early on. I hope you enjoy this week's episode!
Glowing Insanity: Yeah, I think a few people were expecting him to get farther. Sadly, I just wasn't able to do it. I'm glad you still liked the chapter, though.
aloasa: Ah, thanks. Yeah, I already know I'm not gonna please everyone with all of my songs, especially since a lot of the canon songs were so beloved. But yeah, Scott and Sugar are currently our Big Bad Duumvirate...more or less, anyway. As for the romantic subplot between DJ, Dawn, and Sammy following the same path as Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen...well, whatever similarities maybe present along the way, the ends will certainly be different.
Elizabeth Life Stone: Yeah, you and a few others. I'm glad you loved my version of the song though! And honestly, I don't mind early predictions at all so if you wanna make one, just go ahead and do it.
Animation Adventures (formerly Karts of Sugar Rush for those not in the know): Yeah, sorry I had to let Beardo go so early on. You're right that this seems like a good season for him to make use of his talents, but unfortunately it means nothing if the author can't think of a decent plot for them and is in need of an early boot. Glad you liked the song though, and the curve it had compared to canon.
PizzaTheBomb: I'm glad I was able to make the elimination tense for you! And also the pinball, since I didn't think it was all that good - it's hard to translate something like that from animation to writing.
Zak Saturday: Well, most of these early songs I ended up writing back when I was working on Action - only Bridgette and Alejandro's duet and, uh, basically everything after this episode weren't already mostly complete when the season began. But more to the point, I honestly don't know where I find the time or inspiration. Sometimes I'll be lucky and have a good idea of what I want to do almost immediately; other times (like with next week's episode) it's just like several hours of slogging trying to work it all out. Honestly, this is why I'm glad I decided to leave Saturdays open for when I need some extra time to work things out, because these songs aren't gonna always be easy.
DSX62415: Haha, glad you liked it! I'm more of a Super Sentai fan myself (only Kamen Rider I've really watched was Gaim), but I can appreciate the appeal of Kamen Rider as well.
bruno14: Yup, it was sad to get rid of Beardo too. But it had to be done... And yeah, having Tyler actually be useful has been pretty fun, since he's usually just clumsy comic relief.
acosta perez jose ramiro: Hah, yeah. But it's not like the others aren't gonna keep bringing up what Scarlett did, so she'll have to get used to it.
BuckJohnson: Yeah, I see what you mean about the underdogs. But sometimes things like that just have to happen. I am super glad you like the Scott-Sugar alliance, it just seems like the sort of thing that would work. Also glad you like Tyler, since I wasn't really sure at first if I was gonna be able to do all that much with him. That aside, I hope to keep on surprising you!
FOWLKON: Yeah, I really haven't given Beardo much of a break at all. I am glad I was able to at least lead up to his fall fairly well though. Regarding the locations, obviously this week's isn't New York, but most of the locations that have been shuffled haven't been done so very much, usually only one or two positions different. Also, nearly all of them occur in the first half of the story. And as for what'll happen with Dawn, Sugar, Scott, and Scarlett...well, you'll just have to wait and see.
ashDanLand: No worries, no worries! I didn't really like DJ's curse from canon either, and I'm glad I've been able to explore what his time would be like without it. And I'm glad you didn't expect the alliance between Scott and Sugar, since it helps make it more realistic that they'd be able to hide it from the other contestants.
Ddynamo: Hmm, I wonder how long your prediction streak will last? I'm glad you liked Scott's new plan - it is, as you say, an advanced version of what he originally used,just with less risk. His main target is Team Chris, and he has an accomplice, making his sabotages both more likely to actually work out, and making it more likely that he won't anger his teammates into voting him off. That's the plan, at least - how everything actually goes down is something only I know.
Nickie Mudkip: Yeah, early eliminations can always sting a little I think. Glad you aren't too sad, though.
I. M. Poik: Well, I'm glad you liked last week's episode better even if you still aren't feeling the songs. And yeah, there just wasn't much for Beardo to do. Though I will say that I'd honestly kind of forgotten about him being one of the canon first boots when I decided to eliminate him, it's not something that factored into the decision. Oh, and don't worry, this week's episode is gonna be an elimination.
OMAC001: Well then, I hope you're ready to find out!
Boggie445: I'm...honestly not entirely sure what you mean, but I can tell that it's something I'm absolutely not gonna do. There's absolutely no reason for me to mix TRR with Shuffled RotI, like at all.
Ruffhero77: Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing my song writing improve as well, since it's such an important part of this season. And yeah, part of the reason Beardo got eliminated the way he did was to give Scott and Sugar actual credibility as a villainous alliance. I'm glad you're liking Tyler so far, as well as Scarlett being on the outs with her team. What becomes of those subplots...well, you'll just have to wait and see.
crossoversfanTJ: Always good to hear from new reviewers! Especially when they're such big fans. And yeah, I get what you're saying about the new songs seeming a little weird since they're not what any of us are sued to in terms of this season, but I'm glad I was able to keep things fresh. And as for the casts for the next two seasons...well, I don't want to spoil anything for All-Stars right now, but later on in the series there is a possibility that I'll give some sort of minor hint as to who'll be in Revenge of the Island.
Sleep Arypsure: Well, I'm not about to comment about the romance-related stuff you noticed, since I don't want to give away what I have planned right now. The two country folk having more-or-less the same idea was just something that ended up feeling right for the characters, and as much as it sucked having to get rid of Beardo so soon it's what I needed to happen. And no worries, about the reviewing-with-insomnia thing, I understand.
The Prime Writer: 1,000 reviews might be stretching it, but this fic will definitely get more than Action did, which is really saying something. Once more, I'm glad to see you liking the alliance I've set up between Scott and Sugar, even if it did come at Beardo's expense. And have no doubt that I have many plans in store for this season. And also, happy birthday!
Knifez: Glad I was able to surprise you with last week's elimination! Good to see you're liking what you're liking too, and I will admit that I'm working on giving Shawn more lines. Moreso in the next quarter, mind, but still. I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter!
Guest #1: Well, just keep in mind that the contestants for next season were chosen just as randomly as the contestants for the first season and the newbies for this one - it wasn't done by following any kind of logic. As for what the next season of Total Drama could actually be like, I can actually see it being another new cast, if only to have there be more time between All-Star seasons. I could also see a return of the Pahkitew Island cast, or perhaps a mix of old and new in a Fans vs. Favorites type of thing.
Guest #2: And by my calendar, World Tour should end on February 5th; Revenge of the Island on May 6th; All-Stars on August 5th; and Pahkitew Island on November 5th. Not sure where you're getting Black Friday for PI to finish.
ferguson97: Haha, yeah, I noticed. Glad to see you've caught up, and that you love the story so much. Regarding Amy and Sammy, I think I mentioned it back in season one but the original shuffling had one of the twins and either Katie or Sadie in the cast (can't recall which it was), but since they only work with their other halves (who were also, conveniently, in the same other season) I decided to switch them around so the twins were in TSI and the BFFFLs were in a later season together. Every other placement has been sheer luck, Ella included.
Mister Kennedy: Thanks! And yeah, Ezekiel deserved a better break than in canon. I'm not making any promises about him hooking up with anyone, though, especially not with Dawn.
Star Saber21: Thanks! And I'm so happy people are liking Scott's new plan; it just seemed like the sort of underhanded thing he'd try to do. And yeah, Team Chris' commercial would have probably gotten at least second place had Scott not messed it up, but of course that's not what I needed to happen.
Ali6132: Thanks, and as I've said before I really haven't given him much of a break. I feel bad, but these things have to happen sometimes. I'm glad you like the new song format, and as for whether or not Team Victory and Team Chris have swapped roles compared to their canon counterparts...well, you'll just have to wait and see. And as for TRR, I'm not sure who I'm rooting for the most since I love so many teams. I think I'll go with the Goths and the Sisters though.
And once again, the reviews have been answered for the week. For those who want the reminder, the remaining contestants are as follows:
Team Victory - Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff
Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean - Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ
Team Universe - Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett
Who will be going home this week? You'll have to take a trip through the jungle to find out, dear readers, because that's where we're headed this week. Enjoy!
- Fangren
Episode 5 – The Am-AH-Zon Race
"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris said, the recap opening on a map of the world that, after a few seconds, zoomed in on Japan. "Steeped in a tradition," the host continued as the montage of clips began with the cast falling into a giant bowl of rice and continuing into a few seconds of Team Victory's video, "Japan's modern allure is as fascinating as its rich history."
"Here," DJ was shown first getting attacked by a baby panda and then trapped inside an oversized hamster ball with one, "our competitors experienced Japan's innovative entertainment." The three colored balls were shown bouncing around the pinball playfield, and a dizzy Sugar exited her ball and promptly collapsed.
"Meanwhile, Scott and Sugar engaged in a little underhandedness that would make a ninja proud." The two were shown agreeing to an alliance, then working together to distract Beardo and sabotage Team Chris's tape. "Because of them, Beardo took the fall for his team's loss." The beatboxer was shown getting voted out, and getting forced out of the plane just as he had a realization.
"Beardo's sacrifice means we're two warriors down," Chris said as the recap ended and the camera cut to the cockpit, "fifteen to go, with one million big ones up for grabs. On Total! Drama! Woooorld Tour!" For once he didn't sing the final two words, but the music played nonetheless.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
xxx
The episode opened with the now-typical shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in flight, the camera quickly cutting to economy class as Sammy asked "So...how've you been lately, Dawn?" The scene was focused squarely on the two blondes, the smaller of whom seemed to have been caught off-guard by the question.
"Oh, well, fine I suppose," the mystic told her friend, not meeting the cheerleader's gaze. "Though it's been difficult to meditate in the plane."
"Hah, yeah, I kinda noticed," Sammy said with an awkward sort of laugh. "So, umm, y'know," she continued with a hesitant eyeroll, "I was thinking, it's been awhile since you and me and DJ really talked, y'know? Especially since you still haven't really explained why you just...disappeared between seasons."
"Oh, yes, well," Dawn said, blushing slightly and still determinedly avoiding Sammy's gaze despite the girl's efforts to lean over and look, "it's really not that important. Just...didn't have the time to stay in touch."
Sammy frowned and leaned back against the wall and shot a look across the room; the camera briefly cut to DJ shrugging helplessly on the opposite side. Sammy sighed. "Dawn, just because I can't read auras doesn't mean I can't tell when you're lying." The mystic said nothing, but the camera angle shifted to catch her closing her eyes and taking a breath. "And I'm pretty sure I know why you've been avoiding us, too. I just...want you to know that I care about you a lot, Dawn."
"So do I," DJ chimed in, the camera once again cutting to him on the opposite wall. "We just wanna work all this stuff out with you together, y'know?"
The focus cut back to Dawn as she let out her breath and opened her eyes.
xxx
"They're right," Dawn admitted in the restroom confessional, becoming more confident with each word.. "It's time that I stopped avoiding my feelings for them, and started to accept them for what they are!"
xxx
"You're right," the mystic said, finally turning a small smile to her friends who smiled back in turn. "I've been avoiding this for too long. Let's...talk after the next challenge, though," she added quickly. "I'd rather we not have to interrupt our, umm, discussion."
Both DJ and Sammy grinned. "Sure! Awesome!" the cheerleader said.
"Great idea!" DJ added.
A touching tune played, but it quickly morphed into something eerier as the camera panned to the left, away from the brickhouse and on to his teammates.
"Oh em gee," Sierra told Bridgette and Shawn in an excited whisper, a sly leer on her face. "This is like the best development ever!"
"Uhh, why?" Shawn asked in hushed confusion. "Sorry," he added quickly at her stern glare, "I just never really got what was going on between them."
"Oh, well, DJ and Sammy are going out," Sierra immediately began to explain, continuing her hushed tone and even putting a hand up to shield her mouth, "but they've also each had a crush on Dawn since season one. And Dawn has been crushing on them too, but didn't wanna act on it since they hooked up. But then last season that video of Dawn talking to her dad was leaked all over the internet, and like everybody found out about her crush. And so ever since then, the fandom has been wondering, like, what're DJ and Sammy gonna do about it? But then Dawn totally went off the radar for a couple months, and so the tension has just been building all this time! And since Dawn was clearly nervous when she suggested they all meet later, she's obviously gonna try to work things out with them! Now do you get why this is such an amazing development?"
Shawn gave her a blank look, then scratched his head. "Uhh...I...guess?"
"Don't worry about it," Bridgette chuckled, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's a little complicated, but this is probably good news."
"Oh," Shawn smile, "good to hear that. Hopefully when they have their talk they won't get eaten by any zombies that might have stowed away."
"You want me to help you check the plane again?" Bridgette asked the survivalist with a small smile of her own.
"That would be nice, thanks," Shawn said." The two unbuckled and stood up, then as they started to walk off the camera quick-panned in the opposite direction to the entrance to the cabin, where Geoff could just be seen peeking past the curtain that separated to two parts of the plane.
/
"Aww man," the party boy said as the scene cut to him and the sad look on his face, "are you sure we can't invite Bridgette up here to stay with us?" He looked over his shoulder, and the camera pulled back to show Scott standing next to him.
"Sorry, but you heard Lightning," the farmer said with an exaggerated shrug. "First class is for winners only." Geoff hung his head sadly and sighed. "Don't worry, though," Scott told him, "it looks like Bridgette's getting along just fine without you."
"Wha...what's that supposed to mean?" Geoff asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"It's just that she's been getting pretty chummy with Shawn, after all," Scott explained with another shrug, turning around to hide his impish smile from his teammate.
"Well yeah, they've been buds ever since first season," Geoff said, confusion still on his face.
"If you say so, man," Scott said as he started walking away from the door. "But if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were into each other." Geoff gasped. "And don't get me started on the sparks that fly every time she looks at Alejandro."
Geoff gasped even sharper. "Are you sayin' that my Bridge is...is..."
"Is thinking about other guys?" Scott finished with a devilish look. "Who knows? But I know I'd be worried if my girl was acting like Bridgette has been." He walked away, and the camera lingered on Geoff as he shot a nervous look back at the door to economy class.
/
The scene cut to Lightning, Tyler, and Ezekiel relaxing in their seats. A high-pitched squeal signaled the intercom turning on, and the three boys shot annoyed looks upward. "Brace for landing!" Chris announced over it as a few tense notes were struck. "We've arrived at our next destination: The Amazon! Buuut the runway's a liiiiittle short." The camera focused on Ezekiel grimacing and buckling his seatbelt as another squeal signaled the end of the transmission.
"The Amazon?" Tyler repeated with a grin forming on his face. "Sounds awesome, right dudes? I bet we're gonna dominate it just like the last two challenges!"
"New Guy," Lightning replied with an incredulous look, "how have you not learned by now that Lightning always dominates the challenges?"
"Actually, that's not really-" Ezekiel spoke up.
"Did Lightning ask you?" the uber-jock said sharply, causing the homeschooler to shrink in his seat. "Didn't think so. You and New Guy both need to recognize that Lightning is the reason behind Team Dude's success."
Tyler and Ezekiel exchanged an incredulous look.
/
The scene flashed to a runway in the middle of the jungle as the jet descended into the scene trailing smoke from one of its engines. It touched down in the middle and immediately left the screen, a dramatic riff playing over sounds of a crash that shook the camera.
/
"Welcome to Peru," Chris told them, the cast now gathered in their teams at the jungle's edge. The background noise was filled with the chatter of birds and insects and frogs, and the ruins of a small stone building were visible through the trees. "Birthplace of the mighty Amazon River! This challenge is called the 'Am-AHHHH-Zon Race'," he explained, acting scared as he pronounced the second syllable. "Team must hike along an ancient Inca trail," the camera panned across a dirt path leading through the jungle, "through the Peruvian jungle, all the way to Machu Picchu." Another dramatic score played as the camera cut to the base of the famous site and panned up to the top, where a statue with a familiar silhouette stood atop a building. "Hidden somewhere among the ruins of Machu Picchu, a golden treasure awaits discovery!" The members of Team Universe were shown exchanging excited smiles.
"Find the treasure to win first class passage to our next destination," Chris said. "Last team to arrive at Machu Picchu will have to send someone out the elimination door." One by one each team was shown looking and listening with wary expressions. "And be warned," Shawn immediately looked nervous, "the jungle contains many vicious insects!" The survivalist raised his hand.
"Let me guess," Chris sighed in exasperation, "you wanna know if any of them are known to transmit some kinda zombie plague, don'tcha?"
"Pretty much," Shawn admitted. "You can never be too careful. The vegetation in this place is so dense it could hold just about anything."
"True," the host admitted with a thoughtful look, "but zombies aren't one of 'em. What you should be on the look out for are the Zing-Zings," he told them, holding up a photograph. It depicted two brown-skinned individuals in colorful headdresses with monstrous masks that covered their faces; both of them were half-hidden by the trees they were peeking out from behind. "A native tribe who have nev-er encountered modern man," the host explained over a shot of the skeptical members of Team Universe, "and, they're not about too," the photo was shown in close-up. "So, if you spot a Zing-Zing, do. Not. Make. Contact." As he spoke, a loud drum started up behind him. "They-" he began to add before pursing his lips and shooting an annoyed look behind him, where the camera revealed Chef Hatchet beating on a tall drum. "Will you stop that?!" Chris said, and the hulking man obliged with a shrug.
"So how far is it to Maggy Pig-Shoe?" Sugar asked.
"Machu Picchu," the host corrected with a smile, "is a hop, skip, and a jump from here. Plus eighteen hours."
The cast groaned in unison, with Team Chris getting shown by the camera. "The jungle is too dangerous to travel at night," the host warned them, "so, teams will have to break at dusk and camp along the trail until sunrise."
"And I assume there are no tents?" Alejandro asked, a worried Ella beside him.
"Correctamundo," Chris told him. "Now, because the playing area is so vast and dangerous, each team will have a walkie-talkie in case of emergencies." He picked up a cardboard box filled with the devices. "Teams, I wish you good luck," he said as the background music took a deep and ominous turn. "Or, at the very least, a lack of death."
/
The footage skipped ahead to Team Chris and Team Victory standing at a fork in their trail, their respective team icons hovering above them on the screen.
"So, what do you think?" Bridgette asked Shawn who was kneeling down and inspecting a bush by the side of the trail.
"Well, I'm pretty sure this plant isn't edible," the survivalist admitted, standing back up. "Also, I have no idea which way to go."
"Hmm," Sierra said as she tapped her chin in thought, drawing her teammate's attention to herself. "Based on the times Chris has presented us with a choice like this in the past," she explained, "65.7% of the time the correct choice was left. But I don't know if that'll be true in the jungle too."
DJ shrugged. "As good a reason as any, I guess."
As Team Chris headed down the left path, the camera moved on to Team Victory. "Well dudes," Geoff told the other boys with a smile on his face as he exchanged a wave with his girlfriend, "how 'bout we go left? Seems like a good path to me."
"Agreed," Scott chimed in.
"Well too bad," Lightning told them. "Sha-Lightning is feelin' sha-right-ning," he pointed a thumb to the right path, "so that's the direction Team Dude is gonna take." Without giving his teammates a chance to respond he dashed off down the path; Tyler and Ezekiel shared a look and a shrug before following suit.
"Aww man, really?" Geoff said, casting a forlorn look down the left path before turning to catch up.
"Crap, there goes my chance to mess with the other team," Scott muttered, lingering behind the longest. He looked back over his shoulder and smiled darkly, and the viewpoint shifted to show Team Universe finally approaching the fork as well. "Go...left...," Scott hissed through his teeth at Sugar, accompanying it with a few short, sharp gestures towards the left as well. The pageant queen was shown raising her brow in realization, and Scott ran off down the right path just as Team Universe reached the fork.
"Finally!" Alejandro said as he gave Sugar, who was at the back of the pack, a dirty look. "What was that farmer doing, anyway?"
"Uhh, I dunno!" the pageant queen lied. "But I'm thinkin' we should go left, on account of Team Chris bein' smarter than Team Guy."
"...a valid point," Alejandro admitted. "Ladies, what do you think?"
"Well, I certainly wouldn't trust the decision-making capabilities of that muscle-headed brute," Scarlett said.
"The left path does have a slightly better feel to it," Dawn said after peering closely at each path.
"Then we go left," Alejandro declared, pointing off in the chosen direction.
"To the left~!" Ella sang, skipping ahead of the group. "To the left~!"
/
"Welcome, Team Me!" Chris greeted the smallest team as the footage skipped ahead again. They were standing on top a platform rising out of a tree by the river; a zipline extended from above them in the top-right down to the bottom-left part of the screen. "Glad to see my name is finally in the lead. And since you're in first, you get to cross this water hazard using the t-bar," he pointed at the triangular piece hanging just above him. "Everyone else will have to take the line hand-over-hand."
"Sweet!" DJ said happily as Sierra clapped and Bridgette and Shawn shared a grin. The gentle giant grabbed hold of the bar, the camera pulled back to show the girls holding onto his massive arms and Shawn hugging him around the waist, and the team of four took off down the line.
"Wooo hooo~!" Bridgette hollered in excitement as Team Chris rapidly descended.
/
A flash took the scene back to Team Victory, who were now running through the jungle with flies swarming around them.
"Dude!" Geoff called out to Lightning, who as always was at the front of the group. "Don'tcha think we should slow down and pace ourselves a little?"
"And fall behind?" the uber-jock replied with an incredulous look. "Are you for real?"
"He's more for real than you are," Scott spoke up, running alongside the party boy with Tyler and Ezekiel behind them. "We can't possibly keep this going for eighteen hours!"
"I think they got a point, bro," Tyler added. "Besides, thanks to you I'm sure we're already way ahead of the other teams. We can probably slow down and take it easier, so we don't get all tired at the end."
"That...kinda makes sense?" Lightning admitted a tad uncertainly. "Yeah, can't wear ourselves out on the first day of the challenge."
"Especially since I think we're the only team that took this path," Ezekiel added.
"Meanin' we're the only ones headed in the right direction!" Lightning said with a bright and confident grin. He slowed to a stop, then turned around to address his teammates. "Alright Team Dude-Victory, we're gonna ease up for the rest of the day," he told them, the camera panning across their smiling faces. "But only so we can get goin' faster tomorrow, got it?" The shot panned across the other boys again as they grumbled their understanding.
/
A slightly tense tune began to play as the shot cut back over to the zipline, where Team Universe was now standing on the high platform with Chris.
"Wait, isn't there supposed to be something we can use to slide down the line?" Sammy asked in confusion.
"Normally, yes," the host explained with a smile. "But as Team Me got here first, you ladies will have to go without." Sammy turned an anxious look towards the line.
"What a surprise," Scarlett glared. "Now we'll fall even further behind."
"Hey, don't make me shock you," Chris told her sternly.
"We need no t-bar," Alejandro declared, stepping forward and grabbing the line as the background music welled up dramatically. "We are Team Universe!" Close-ups were shown of him taking off his belt, throwing it over the line, and grabbing Ella around the waist. "Arriba!" he called out as he jumped off the platform and slid down the line.
"Arriba!" Ella copied happily.
"If they can do it, so can Sugar!" the pageant queen declared, grabbing the line with both hands and jumping off. The shot pulled back to a distance as it had for Alejandro and Ella, but this time showing a distinct trail of smoke along the line as her bare hands rubbed against it. "My hands are on fire!" she hollered in pain before she let go of the line and plunged into the river below.
She immediately jumped up out of the water as several small fishes began to bite and chomp at her. "Oww! Stop that!" she told the fish.
"Oh yes," Chris said as the shot cut back to the platform where Sammy and Dawn were watching with concern and Scarlett seemed to be glaring. "There may or may not be piranhas in this water."
/
The music became tenser as the scene moved back to Team Victory, Geoff now walking at the front of their group. He stopped suddenly and surprise filled his face, and the viewpoint shifted to show a pair of brown-skinned men sitting on rocks on opposite sides of a campfire. They were holding spears, and their garb and masks were identical to the tribe that Chris had warned everyone about.
"Dude, those are Zing-Zings!" Geoff whispered to his teammates. "We gotta be careful. Don't wanna make contact, so let's just..." He looked over his shoulder at the other boys, and the camera showed that they had frozen still. Geoff looked back in front, and let out a startled yelp when he saw one of the Zing-Zings staring at him mere inches away. He quickly scrambled back to his teammates, who were shown front-on as a pair of spears were pointed at them.
"What a great path, Lightning," Scott told the uber-jock.
Ezekiel, who was standing to the right of the two, quickly held up their walkie-talkie. "Hey, Chris?" he whispered into it. "We need some help here, eh!" There was no response, so in growing panic Ezekiel repeated "Yo, Chris? Chris?!" A small panel sprung out the bottom of the device, revealing two free springs. "No batteries," he told Tyler on his other side.
/
The scene cut to a close-up of a pile of batteries lying on what appeared to be the rim of a tub of water. The camera pulled back to show Chef Hatchet in the jumbo jet's hot tub, playing a handheld game console. "Hyaah! Eat that, ghost! Eat it!" he said over the sounds of the game.
/
Back with Team Universe, Chris was standing with Scarlett, Sammy, and Dawn on the treetop platform.
"And naturally, Sugar was the only other person on the team with a belt," the evil genius grumbled.
"No point complaining now," Sammy told her.
"No, but there is a point in doing this," Scarlett said with a dark grin as she darted towards the host and tore his belt off his pants, the background music taking a hectic turn.
"H-hey! What're you doing!" Chris shouted in alarm, but was unable to stop the cackling brainiac from slinging the pilfered belt over the line and taking off down it.
The camera zoomed out to follow Scarlett as she descended, then moved back in as she was suddenly electrocuted by her collar and dropped into the river.
"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" Chris yelled down at her angrily, one hand on his remote and the other holding up his pants. The sounds of Scarlett getting attacked by piranhas could be heard faintly in the background. "THAT BELT WAS EXPENSIVE!" He huffed, then turned back towards the last two girls. "So, who's next?" he asked impatiently.
"Umm, I think we'll go together," Dawn said cautiously. The scene skipped forward to show that she had removed her dark green sweater, revealing the short-sleeved light blue collared shirt she wore beneath. Sammy had strung the sweater over the zipline, and with Dawn clinging to her back she jumped off the platform.
"Look out below!" the cheerleader called out as they reached the far shore, where Sugar and Scarlett were stumbling up the beach looking quite worse for wear. They sluggishly stopped to look behind them, and were immediately bowled over by Sammy and Dawn.
/
Once more, the scene flashed to Team Victory. They were now tied up along the trunk of a massive tree near where the two Zing-Zings were tending to their fire; from left to right were Tyler, Geoff, Lightning, Ezekiel, and Scott.
"Zeke, you speak a lot of languages, right?" Scott asked the homeschooler in a hushed tone. "Can't you talk to them or something?"
"They're an uncontacted tribe, eh!" Ezekiel said. "I don't got a clue what kinda language they speak!"
"Well this is just perfect," Scott grumbled.
"Wait a minute...," Geoff said in sudden realization. "The flashlight! Maybe we can put the batteries from it into the walkie-talkie!"
"Good idea!" Ezekiel said. "Oh, but wait, it's in my back right pocket and I can't reach it 'cause of the ropes."
"Well, maybe someone else can grab it," Scott said with a pointed look at Lightning.
"Tell me you're not talkin' about Lightning," the uber-jock asked in disbelief.
"Who else can reach?" Scott hissed.
"Nuh-uh, no way is Lightning puttin' his hand down another dude's pants," Lightning protested.
xxx
"Might as well ask me to touch Homeschool's butt!" the overachiever continued his protest in the restroom confessional.
xxx
I don't get what the problem was, eh," Ezekiel confessed next. "I mean, I was wearin' a clear pair of underwear. Err, well, as clean as I can get on the plane anyways."
xxx
"Dude, just do it!" Tyler implored his fellow athlete. "You're the only one who can save us right now!"
Lightning pursed his lips in annoyance. "Fine, but you guys owe Lightning a sha-favor after this. Now hold still, Homeschool." He turned his attention to the boy on his left, and the camera focused in on his hand sticking out from under the ropes and reaching into his teammate's pocket. "Got it!" he said, a grin forming on his face and a triumphant tune playing as he pulled out the flashlight.
/
The music took a tense turn as the shot flashed to a close-up of a toucan perched on a branch; it looked back and flew off with a squawk as the camera panned to the right, showing Team Universe entering a small clearing nearby.
"Dusk!" Alejandro said with a brief look skyward. "We can make camp here."
A short pan a little ways back left showed Sugar crawling out of a bush on her hands and knees. "So tired," she moaned. "Need food! Somebody please tell me there's a restaurant around here."
"We're in the middle of the rainforest," Scarlett snipped as she stepped into the clearing after Ella, Dawn, and Sammy. "Why would there be anything like that out here?"
"How should I know?" Sugar shot back. "I ain't ever been to the jungle before, and neither have you!"
/
The music took a more victorious turn as the focus cut to Team Chris as they ran through the jungle, DJ and Bridgette at the front.
"Chris," the brickhouse said as the four skidded to a stop in front of the host, "tell me you have food 'cause we're starvin'!"
The handsome man, who was standing in front of a long length of rope tied to a tree branch and leading up above off-screen, smiled. "Once again, Team I-Am-So-Awesome, you're in first! And this is your reward!" He took a machete out from behind his back, turned around, and chopped through the rope. A small crate promptly dropped in front of the team, breaking open and revealing a bunch of bananas.
"Super smiley face!" Sierra said in excitement as she and her teammates gazed upon the fruit.
"All the bananas you can eat" Chris said before a high-pitched screech came from his pocket.
"Chris, dude, can you hear me?" Geoff's panicked voice came over the walkie-talkie the host took out. "We've got trouble, dude, with the Zing-Zings and the tree, and-"
"Wow," Chris told the camera blandly as Bridgette gasped in concern. "He sounds like he's really in trouble. I should pick this up."
"The spears, dude!" Geoff's voice came through again.
"After the break!" the host grinned.
(Fade to Commercial and Back)
The scene faded right back in to Chris and the team named after him staring at the host's walkie-talkie as Geoff's panicked voice repeated "Chris, dude, can you hear me?"
"Walkie-talkies are for emergencies only," the host said sternly into the device. The close-up of him shrunk and was joined by an equally-small close-up of Geoff, the two scenes set against a black background.
"This is an emergency, dude!" the party boy said quickly. "The Zing-Zings! And now we're tied to a tree! And there's spears!"
"Whoa, Geoff, slow down," Bridgette said as the camera that was on Chris panned right just enough to include her in the shot as well. "You're talking a mile a minute!"
"Sorry babe, it's just that I'm freaking out right now," Geoff told her.
"What's all this racket about?" Sugar interrupted, a third inset scene appearing in the blackness and forcing the first two up.
"I don't know," Chris said into the walkie-talkie, "but if it's not an emergency I don't care."
"It is an emergency," Tyler said as he took hold of his team' walkie-talkie. "We've been captured by Zing-Zings!"
"They've got spears, dude, help us!" Geoff added.
"We have to help them!" Bridgette said in panic.
"Okay!" Chris said with a smile. "Team Victory, remain calm, aaaaanndd..." The pair of dings heralded the appearance of the music note symbol in the lower-right corner, Sugar's inset scene moving aside to accommodate it. The background music was taken over by the tense theme that normally accompanied the build-up to an elimination ceremony.
"Are you sha-jokin'?" Lightning asked, the camera panning onto him as he swiped the walkie-talkie from Geoff.
"Ooh, would you like us to sing back-up?" Ella asked, entering the bottom-left inset next to an annoyed Sugar.
"Nope!" Chris answered. "This one is all Victory. But! Let's make it end with a little solo from Lightning. Aaaaand...begin!"
~/~
[Team Victory's inset immediately took over the scene again as the boys began bobbing their heads in time with a vihuela that one of the Zing-Zings started playing. The camera followed all the way to the end of the tied-up line, where the other Zing-Zing was also playing a vihuela.]
"If we had just gone left, we wouldn't be in this mess;"
[Scott opened the song, a panpipe entering the Zing-Zings' music.]
"I thought so too, but Lightning just had to charge ahead;"
[Geoff sang, the camera quick-panning to the left and showing another tribesman playing the panpipe.]
"We got tied up by these guys;"
[Ezekiel sang as the camera panned past Lightning pursing his lips in annoyance.]
"And now we're going to die;"
[Scott added with a sneer.]
"Team Dude, it's time to cry~y~y~!"
[Geoff finished the verse, hanging his head sadly.]
[The camera closed in on a Zing-Zing strumming their vihuela, then suddenly zoomed in on the sound hole as the beat dropped. The scene faded back in to an upward-angled shot of Tyler holding a coiled-up length of rope.]
"Dudes, c'mon, this isn't a joke!"
[Tyler rapped to a mix of stuttered vihuela riffs and lone drum beats.
"How could Lightning ever know that we'd find these folks?"
["Sha-yeah!" the jock in question chimed in from off-screen as Tyler recoiled from a spear that was pointed at him.]
"Those paths were the same so it's not his fault;"
[Tyler continued his rap, seemingly pleading with the retreating camera as he took a few steps towards it and put a hand on its side.]
"So stop pointing fingers and start pointing...salt? Yeah!"
[Tyler leaned back as he finished his rap, briefly appearing thoughtful as he tried not to fumble the last word, and smiling proudly when he thought of it.]
[Scott and Geoff shared an incredulous look, while between them Lightning raised an eyebrow and Ezekiel just looked smiled blandly.]
"Sha yeah yeah~!"
[Lightning quickly began his prescribed solo as the camera focused on him.]
"No~ot my fa~ult, so do~on't, blame me!"
~/~
As soon as the solo ended the music did as well, and the Zing-Zings dropped their instruments. They gasped, then pointed at Lightning and jabbered something in their native tongue that caused Ezekiel to raise an eyebrow.
"Hold on, was that-?" he murmured thoughtfully as the Zing-Zings scampered away.
"What're they doin' now?!" Lightning asked in alarm.
The shot cut to the Zing-Zings as they jabbered something else and pulled back some long leaves to reveal a large bust carved into a tree that bore a resemblance to the uber-jock. The camera focused in on the golden lightning bolt symbol on the bust's neck, which gleamed in the sunlight and looked identical to the necklace that Lightning always wore.
"Dude, maybe they think you're like a god!" Geoff whispered to his teammate.
"Then what does that make us?" Scott asked as the camera showed the two Zing-Zings approaching in a menacing fashion.
/
The scene flashed to a bunch of banana peels scattered on the ground before the camera panned up and over to Team Chris, who were gathered around a campfire. DJ and Sierra were both curled up asleep, but Shawn and Bridgette were still awake.
"I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to sleep tonight," the surfer said. "I'm just too worried about Geoff!"
"He'll be okay," Shawn told her. "They all will. I mean, it's not like they were captured by zombies or anything."
"They were tied up and held at spear point!" Bridgette countered.
"True," the survivalist admitted, "but Chris did say he was gonna send someone out to rescue them. Plus they're still coming over the walkie talkie now and then."
Their gazes turned to the walkie-talkie just as Geoff's voice came over it. "Dudes, this is getting seriously freaky!"
It cut off there, and Bridgette sighed and hung her head. "That doesn't make me feel much better."
Just then, a rustling from the bushes got their attention. Shawn immediately tensed up along with the background music, but that quickly eased up into something more lilting as the camera zoomed in on a tree and a small monkey poked its head out of the leaves.
"Huh," Bridgette said as the monkey dropped to the ground and cautiously walked towards them. "I guess it was attracted by the bananas..."
The shot pulled out as, all at once, countless more monkeys stuck their heads out of the surrounding foliage.
"Great..." Shawn said nervously.
/
Another flash took the scene to another campfire, this time where Team Universe was making their camp. Alejandro and Ella were sleeping next to each other on the ground, as were Dawn and Sammy, while Sugar and Scarlett were sitting closest to the flames.
"Consider yourself lucky that I still require an alliance," Scarlett hissed angrily to the pageant queen. "Just don't assume that I've forgiven you for attempting to eliminate me in the Yukon."
"Well, I was only goin' with the flow," Sugar explained in a whisper. "Can't blame me fer that. Buuut...," she added slowly with a roll of her head, "I am willin' to get into an alliance with you now. I'm gettin' sick of those two," she nodded towards Alejandro and Ella, "actin' all lovey-dovey, so-"
A ferocious growl from nearby interrupted her, and prompted both girls to look around for the source of the noise. "This isn't good," Scarlett said as the camera pulled back to show the whole group as another growl caused Alejandro, Ella, and Sammy to wake up.
"What is that?" Alejandro asked.
"Dawn, wake up!" Sammy told her still-sleeping friend in a close-up, nudging the girl with her hand. The mystic was tossing and turning and murmuring in a not-at-all peaceful manner.
The camera cut back to the group shot as Sugar leaned forward and blew on the fire, causing it to flare up just enough to illuminate a group of truly monstrous caterpillars that had surrounded the team. One reared back and spit something at the flame that extinguished it, and the waking members of Team Universe began to scream as the giant larvae attacked them in darkness.
/
Yet another flash took the focus back to the tree-carved bust that resembled Lightning, now illuminated only by the light of the nearby campfire. The camera panned to the left, where Lightning was now seated on a wooden throne and getting attended to by the two Zing-Zings.
"Sha-watch it, dudes!" he told them angrily, even flailing his arms to drive them away. They backed off obligingly, revealing that they had painted Lightning's face in a fashion that resembled the markings on the carved bust. "That's right, don't mess with the Lightning!"
The camera zoomed out to show the two Zing-Zings kneeling on either side of the throne, spears in hand. They raised their heads and jabbered something to one another, and the shot cut to the other members of Team Victory who were still tied to the tree trunk.
"Okay, this is startin' to get weird, eh," Ezekiel commented, his brow raised in disbelief.
"It's only starting to get weird?" Scott repeated with disbelief of his own.
xxx
"The Zing-Zing's language almost sounds like a dialect of Spanish," Ezekiel explained in the restroom confessional. "But I don't see how that's possible, on account of them bein' an isolated tribe that's never been contacted by modern man before. Unless maybe Chris was wrong about that," he finished with a thoughtful head-scratch.
xxx
The footage skipped forward to the smoldering remains of a stone-lined campfire pit; the sun had clearly risen. The camera panned up and to the right, showing most of Team Universe battered and holding long sticks. Alejandro was on one knee and looking the most alert; Scarlett and Sugar were leaning against each other and looking incredibly sleepy; Sammy was also alert as she crouched over the still-sleeping form of Dawn; and Ella was nowhere to be seen.
"Daybreak!" Alejandro said, causing three of the girls behind him to stir and stand up. "I'll go find Ella, the rest of you should head towards Machu Picchu and get a head start on finding that treasure."
Scarlett and Sugar ran off past him with little more than a grunt of acknowledgment, while Sammy tried to jostle her friend awake.
"Get up, Dawn!" she told the mystic. "We have to get moving!"
The shot cut closer to Dawn's face as she blearily opened her eyes. "I...no...what? S-Sammy? What's...?"
"Don't worry about it," the cheerleader said, the shot pulling back out as she helped her friend to her feet. "I'll explain on the way, but I'm surprised you slept through all that!"
"...yes...," Dawn murmured, shaking her head rapidly as she tried to wake up.
"Good luck finding Ella!" Sammy told Alejandro as she grabbed Dawn by the hand and lead her down the path at a jog.
"Thank you!" Alejandro called back to her.
/
A single dramatic note played as the scene flashed to the members of Team Chris crawling up a steep staircase cut into the side of a mountain. Oddly, all of them were being ridden by a few of the tiny monkeys that had visited their camp last night. The four finally reached the top, and the camera panned to the left a little ways as Chris walked up.
"Welcome, Team Me!" he greeted. "Somehow, the four of you are still in first place. Find the treasure before anyone else," he said with a motion behind him that was matched by the camera zooming out to reveal the ruins of Machu Picchu, "and you'll leave Peru in first class."
"Yay!" Sierra said brightly. "This is so exciting."
"I gotta ask, though," the host said with a frown, "what's with the monkeys?" The camera zoomed in on one that was sitting on Shawn's head; it combed through his hair with its fingers, pulled out a small insect, and happily ate it.
"They were attracted by those bananas you gave us," DJ said, happily patting one of the monkeys on the head. "They haven't left us alone since."
"To be honest it's a little unnerving," Shawn added, "but at they haven't bitten any of us yet."
"Darn," Chris said, still frowning.
/
The scene skipped ahead again, now showing four members of Team Universe running up the stone steps with Sugar in the lead.
"Uh-uh-uhh," the host tutted to them at the plateau at the top, "you can't start searching until the whole team is here."
"You neglected to mention that earlier," Scarlett snapped. "Are you just making up rules on impulse?"
"And this surprises you because...?" Chris asked.
"It doesn't...," the evil genius admitted.
"Ella got captured by some giant caterpillars last night after she sang to them," Sammy explained. "But Alejandro went to rescue her, so they shouldn't be that long...right?" The camera closed in on her worried expression as a few more tense notes were struck in the background music.
/
"Lightning, get these weirdos to let us go already!" Scott said angrily as the scene flashed to Team Victory, four of whom had apparently spent the night tied to the tree.
In response, he was met by two spears getting thrust into his face and some more angry words from the two Zing-Zings holding them all captive.
"Why'd you have to go and do that for?" Lightning told Scott. "Lightning's been tryin' to keep these dudes happy so they don't sacrifice y'all, and you mighta just messed it up!"
"They're not gonna sacrifice anybody, eh," Ezekiel said, giving the two Zing-Zings a stern and unamused look. "I can understand enough of what they're sayin' to know that they understand English, and that they know who we are. They aren't real Zing-Zings, they're just messing with us, eh!"
Tyler, Geoff, and Scott all gave him stunned looks, as did Lightning. The two masked men shared a look, then dropped their spears and began untying the ropes binding Team Victory to the massive tree trunk.
"Sorry, guys," one of them said in clear Spanish-accented English as the ropes fell away from the utterly shocked contestants, "we just couldn't help ourselves."
/
"Ella!" Alejandro called out as the scene flashed to him walking through the jungle. "Where are you?"
"Over here!" the princess's voice came faintly from off-screen. Alejandro's face lit up, and he bounded through the bushes.
The camera cut in close as his boots hit the ground again, the zoomed out dramatically to show the charmer standing in a clearing before a massive cocoon, Ella's head sticking out the top.
"What happened?!" Alejandro asked in alarm, walking up to the cocoon.
"Oh, those adorable caterpillars just loved my singing!" Ella explained in a happy whisper. "So much that they brought me here to sing to them for the rest of my life."
"Don't worry, I'm here to rescue you," her teammate said, easily tearing away at the silk wrappings.
"Oh, thank you," Ella said with a blush. "But I must ask, where are Sugar and the others?"
Alejandro sighed sadly. "The others wanted to leave you here and go ahead," he explained. "But I refused to move on until I found you."
"Oh my, I can't believe they'd do that," Ella said, quite distraught.
"Neither can I, but I heard it myself," Alejandro said as he finished tearing the cocoon open and helped Ella out of it.
"At least I can always count on you, Alejandro," Ella said, giving the charmer a small smile. He returned it, then turned his back to her and adopted a slightly more sinister, if uncertain, expression.
/
The scene cut back to Machu Picchu, where Team Chris could be seen searching the ruins while most of Team Universe waited on a log near the top of the steps with the host checking his watch nearby.
"Tick-tock tick-tock," Chris said as the camera zoomed in on him, then panned over to the four girls as they looked around impatiently. The sound of footsteps got their attention, and all but Dawn raised their heads to look as Alejandro and Ella finally arrived on the mountaintop.
"Let's find that treasure!" Alejandro said after pausing a moment to catch his breath. He ran into the ruins with Ella following happily; Scarlett and Sugar promptly followed them, but Sammy had to nudge Dawn before she got on her feet and started moving too.
Calmly, Chris moved to take their place on the log and even whistled to himself as he did. A couple grunts of effort came from off-screen, then Sugar exclaimed "I found it!"
"This is weird," the host commented, the camera zooming in on him as he stood back up and walked over to see what had happened.
The shot cut to Sugar wrestling with some sort of crystal-topped stone pillar that was stuck into the ground. "Hey Sugar," Chris asked as he walked over, "what'cha doin'?"
"What's it look like? I'm gettin' that olden treasure like you said!" the pageant queen explained impatiently, pausing to wipe the sweat from her brow.
"We're looking for a golden treasure," Scarlett interjected, the camera panning left a little to show her watching nearby. "Not an olden one!"
"Scarlett's right," Chris said with a nod as the shot panned back to him and Sugar's eyes widened.
"Hey, we found it!" Shawn exclaimed as he and his teammates ran up, still accompanied by a few tiny monkeys. The survivalist was holding a melon-sized and vaguely head-shaped golden idol, the sight of which caused the host to grin.
"Speaking of, looks like Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean found it! They win the challenge!" The music took a triumphant turn following his announcement, and the members of the winning team cheered. Even their monkey companions joined in, the camera zooming in on a pair on DJ's back that exchanged a happy high-five.
"Aww shoot, then what's this thing?" Sugar said with a frown, turning her attention back to the strange pillar. She finally pulled it out of the ground, and the shot cut up to the sky. A hollow sound was accompanied by sparkling noises as a cloud moved away from the sun, and the rays struck the pyramidal crystal that topped Sugar's pillar.
Sugar gasped as it began to radiate teal light and emit a sort of reverberating wubbing, and the music became ominous and tense as the whole mountain began to shake. Stone began to crack and crumble and fall, monkeys shrieked and fled, and with a cry of "RUN!" from the host the people gathered fled for their lives.
The ruins collapsed behind them, kicking up a cloud of dust.
/
"Wait, so if you guys aren't Zing-Zings," Geoff asked in confusion as the shot flashed back to Team Victory, "then who are you?"
"They look like local Peruvian teenagers to me," came the surly voice of Chef Hatchet as he walked out of the nearby bushes with a cleaver in hand.
"But what about the costumes, and the masks?" Tyler asked.
The two locals looked at each other, shrugged, and took off their masks. "We're actors," one said, holding up a flier with an image of a castle turret on it.
"We play the porters in this year's 'Shakespeare in the Jungle' production of 'Macbeth'," the other added.
"You stumbled on us while we were practicing, so we decided to mess with you guys a little," the first said. "Sorry for the trouble."
As he and his companion walked away, Lightning yelled "You sha-better be!"
A few moments passed in silence as the team regrouped, then Chef said "By the way, you lost the challenge. Y'all gotta vote someone off."
"Well nobody better be votin' for Lightning," the uber-jock said. "He's the only reason you guys didn't die last night!"
"We weren't gonna die," Scott countered.
"But we didn't find that out until just now!" Lightning counter-countered. "We should probably vote off someone useless, like Homeschool."
"Hey!" Ezekiel said in outrage.
"Dude, why?" Tyler asked in disbelief. "He's the reason those guys let us go!"
"Well would you rather we voted for you, New Guy?" the overachiever asked. "'Cause Lightning didn't see you doin' anythin' today."
A few dramatic notes played as the camera zoomed out to show the rest of Team Victory giving Tyler thoughtful looks, to which the boy groaned and slapped his face.
/
A dramatic tune played over a shot of the jumbo jet flying away from the camera, towards the sun and over a mountain range. The camera then flashed inside to a plate of cookies, and a classically elegant tune began to play as the shot zoomed back. The cookies were being carried by a white woman, a flight attendant by her uniform, who brought them to the lounging members of Team Chris.
"I am loving first class," Bridgette said as she grabbed a cookie and stuffed it into her mouth.
"I gotta admit, it has its perks," Shawn said, taking a cookie for himself before the flight attendant turned and walked away.
"Hey guys," DJ spoke up, standing in the aisle next to the couch his teammates were sitting on, "would it be okay if-"
"You went and had your secret meeting with Sammy and Dawn?" Sierra finished, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Go right ahead," Bridgette said with a bit of laughter. "And good luck, too."
"Thanks!" DJ told them with a grin.
xxx
Dawn opened her confessional with a deep sigh. "Where should I begin...," she murmured, her head hung for a moment before she looked up at the camera. "Last night, I had a very unusual dream. Normally I can control what comes at night, but not this time. I...," she took a deep breath as the background music turned tense and ominous, "I believe it was a vision. The Universe has sent me a warning that something terrible is going to happen, and although I don't know exactly what it is, I must be the one to stop it."
"The only problem is that I don't think I'll be able to do so while I remain on the plane, with the others," she admitted sadly. "But...as Daddy says, sometimes we must go where the Universe wants us to, even if it takes us away from the ones we love. I...," she faltered for a split second, "I've left a letter for Sammy and DJ where we promised to meet explaining what I'm doing, as well as the suspicions I've been having about Scott and Sugar. I can't bare to tell them everything in person. But I am confident that they will understand."
xxx
The tense music continued as the scene flashed to a close-up of a pale pink envelope lying on the floor of what was revealed to be the cargo hold when the camera zoomed out. Footsteps could be heard approaching, but the two who entered the scene seconds later weren't Sammy or DJ.
"You're lucky I didn't mess up today," Scott hissed at Sugar. "Otherwise I'd be gone, and you'd be left all alone!"
"What was I supposed to do, huh?" the pageant queen countered in a hushed tone. "Those other guys were ahead of us even before little miss singy-pants got herself hauled off by a buncha oversized bugs."
"I don't know, you probably could've done something!" Scott said, throwing his hands up.
"And I'm sayin' there was nothin'!" Suagr countered. "Do you even know what I went through last night?" she added, starting to tear up. "I'm lucky to be alive!"
Scott seemed at a loss for how to deal with his crying ally, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Look, I'm sorry okay? It's not your fault my team lost," he told her. "It's just that the two of us need to work harder to make sure we don't get voted off."
"R-really?" Sugar sniffed, her tears causing her mascara to run.
"Yeah," Scott said awkwardly. "Now, uhh, I gotta go cast my vote. I'll see you later."
He turned and walked away, but the camera lingered on Sugar. She sniffed one more time, then wiped away her tears and grinned. "Well that was easy," she said under her breath. She took a step forward, then looked down and stopped. The shot cut to the pink envelope lying at her feet, and the music turned ominous once again as she bent down and picked it up.
"Now what's this?" she asked in confusion as she looked it over. Shrugging, she opened it up and pulled out a piece of paper. The camera zoomed in on her eyes slowly moving side to side as she read, then pulled back as she gasped.
xxx
"I don't know what she was thinkin' writin' this," Sugar said in the restroom confessional, the letter in her hand, "but I am not gonna let somethin' this valuable go. You'll be safe in here, little letter," she said cheerily as she folded the paper back up and stuffed it into her blouse.
xxx
/
The scene moved to the elimination room, Team Victory's logo spinning into view in the top left corner of the screen.
"Alright Team Dude," Chris greeted the five boys sitting on the stands, all of whom perked up, "are you ready to find out who you chose to eliminate?" The camera cut to the host, who was leaning against a the drum that served as his podium and was pointing a remote control at a nearby television set. "What'cha think, New Guy? Ready to find out what your teammates really think?" Tyler was shown frowning at the host.
"Let's see who you all voted for!" Chris said happily. "Just for fun!" He pushed a button, and the camera panned close to the television as it cut from static to a video of Lightning standing in the restroom confessional.
xxx
"Lightning has thought long and hard on this," the uber-jock said as he stamped one of the passports laid out on the counter top, "and he's votin' for Scott. Dude's just too sketchy! Even New Guy and Homeschool ain't that bad!"
xxx
The television cut to static, then cut back in to Geoff's vote. "I know Lightning messed up today," he said while holding up someone else's passport, "but I can't stand what Scott's been saying about Bridgette!" He put the farmer's passport back down, then stamped it.
xxx
Another bout of static transitioned the footage to the voting confessional of Scott himself. "See ya later, Lightning," he said with a mocking sneer.
xxx
"Who's useless now, eh?" Ezekiel said in the fourth clip as he aggressively stamped Lightning's passport.
xxx
The fifth and final voting confessional was Tyler's, and his face was filled with uncertainty as he looked from Scott's passport in his left hand to Lightning's in his right. "I know Scott did some bad stuff last time he played," Tyler said while looking at the farmer's passport, "but Lightning's been dissing all of us, especially me and Zeke! And we've been really helping the team win, too! I thought it was getting better, too, but then it just got worse again at today's challenge..."
He sighed, then added "I really hate doing this, but you give me no choice. I really look up to you as an athlete, but if you're not gonna treat me like an equal then I don't want you around." He put both passports down, then grabbed the rubber stamp. "I'm voting for Lightning," he said as he stamped the uber-jock's passport.
xxx
A few drum beats played as the television cut back to static and Chris popped up in front of it. "There! All done!"
The camera cut to the five boys. Scott was glaring at a sheepish Geoff; Tyler was hanging his head in shame; and Lightning was sitting with eyes wide and mouth gaping.
"Sha-what?!" he exclaimed, standing up forcefully. "You guys voted for me?!"
"Well ya didn't leave us much choice, eh!" Ezekiel told him.
Lightning glared at him for a second, then turned sharply on his heel and crossed his arms. "Fine! Lightning was too good for this show anyway!" He walked towards the host, snatched the parachute pack that was silently offered to him, and kept moving with his eyes shut uncaringly.
"Later, dude," Chris told the overachiever. "And watch out, that first step's a big one."
"Sha-duh," Lightning said, opening his eyes to glare back at the host. "Lightning knows-"
The overachiever suddenly dropped off the screen, and the camera pulled back to show that he'd walked right out the open door without realizing it. He could be heard screaming "THAAAAAATT!" as he fell through the air outside, Chris leaning out the door to watch with mild interest.
xxx
"So Party Boy doesn't like what I said about his girl, eh?" Scott said in the restroom confessional, leaning forward slightly with his hands on his knees. "That just means it's getting to him. And that just means I should double down on it. Because now that Lightning's out of the picture, nothing is gonna stop me from running this team. Nothing."
xxx
The confessional footage cut to static on another television screen, the camera pulling back to reveal it hanging in the jet's cockpit as the series' capstone theme began to play.
"Ooooooh," Chris said mockingly, "Scott's maaaad!" He laughed, then looked straight at the camera. "Tune in for the fallout, next time! On Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The season's own blaring theme played as the camera pulled back for a distance shot of the plane, and a flock of birds passed by underneath the plane.
The shot held there for a second, but rather than fade out as usual the camera rapidly zoomed in – through the cockpit, through the floor of first class, and into the cargo hold where DJ and Sammy walked up to one another with confusion on their faces. And as the camera moved, the background music rapidly became tenser and more ominous.
"Have you found Dawn?" Sammy asked.
"No, and I'm pretty sure we've looked everywhere!" DJ replied.
"I hope she didn't get cold feet or anything...," Sammy said with a worried look. "She's been acting strange ever since she woke up this morning. I hope she's okay."
"Well we're not gonna find out until we find her," DJ said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Now c'mon, let's keep looking for her."
"Right," Sammy nodded. "She's gotta be around here somewhere."
The music spiked dramatically, then just as rapidly fell away all together as the shot cut outside.
/
The Total Drama Jumbo Jet was still flying towards the sun, but the camera quickly pulled back and down, further and further, until the crumbled ruins of Machu Picchu. A lone figure could just be made out standing atop a pile of rubble, and the camera quickly cut in for a close-up.
Even the birds were silent as Dawn watched the plane fly away.
(Fade to Credits)
/
/
/
[Bonus Clip]
"Man, this sha-bites," Lightning complained at the camera as he floated down through the open air, his parachute already safely deployed. "Seriously, reality TV has gotta be like the one game that Lightning ain't the best at. I mean, three seasons and I ain't won yet? I never woulda believed it had I not just lived through it."
"Guess I shoulda paid more attention to what those other guys were feelin'," he said with a thoughtful look as he began to drift past treetops. "Especially that New Guy, whatshisname. Guess he was too soft for Lightning's tough love."
Branches obscured the camera as he continued to fall, and when he was finally seen again he was dangling over a clearing from his parachute, which had snagged on a branch. He quickly cringed and raised his legs up as four spears were pointed at him, and the camera panned down to reveal a group of Zing-Zings in a clearing below.
"Uh, hey there!" Lightning greeted awkwardly. "You're more of those actors guys, right? Y'all wanna help sha-Lightning down?"
The Zing-Zings jabbered something angry, and poked their spears at him again.
Author's Note - Post Script
Eliminating Lightning was, by far, the most difficult decision I've made in this series to date. He's such a beloved character that I know I'll have broken more than one heart by giving him the Drop of Shame today. But on the other hand, I couldn't find a good reason not to. See, I knew for awhile that this was gonna be a double elimination, more or less, and that Dawn was definitely gonna be dropping out. That meant that Team Universe wasn't gonna be losing the challenge and thus two team members, and since Team Chris lost Beardo last week I didn't want them voting someone out this time. That left Team Victory - and unfortunately for Lightning, I still need to give the four white boys some screentime and development. As such, Lightning fell victim to his own attitude, and in doing so gave Tyler and Ezekiel the chance to stick up for themselves.
If it's any consolation, Lightning will get a song in the first Aftermath next week, as will Beardo. Still, I am sorry that I had to vote the guy out third - I tried coming up with other arrangements, and even other team compositions, but nothing ended up fitting with what I wanted for this season. My apologies for the disappointment. I did want to at least give him a decent sending off with an elimination that made sense, and although a lot of you probably saw it coming early in the chapter if you recalled how the canon episode went, I think I at least made Lightning's elimination make sense.
Regarding Dawn, as I mentioned earlier I've known for awhile that I wanted her to essentially quit in the first quarter for some time now. Leaving it until episode five just made it more dramatic, I think even if it does pretty obviously cut/re-purpose the bits of plot she was starting to accumulate. But of course, it might just be that her willing and secret departure was not the correct choice, as we'll no doubt see later in the season...
But, ah, that's enough of that! Today's song is called 'Team Dude's Lament', because the title of its canon counterpart contains a slur that I refuse to use. As should be obvious, it is basically the same song - since the music was started and played by the fake Zing-Zings, I decided the correct move was to make the shuffled song for this episode fill it's canon counterpart's mold, so to speak. I hope everyone enjoyed it, even Tyler's awkward rapping!
I'm fairly certain I've done a better job of distributing the screentime, I hope. Shawn and Sierra could still use some more attention I think, but I'll do my best to rectify that in the second quarter. I hope everyone enjoyed the totally dramatic chapter, and is looking forward to the first Aftermath next week and the fallout with the main cast the week after!
Let me know what you think!
- Fangren
Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants
Staci - (17th Place)
Beardo - (16th Place)
Lightning - (15th Place)
Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)