Trigger Warnings: I warned everyone in the first chapter that there would be some triggery stuff going on in this fic. So be warned that some things in this chapter could be bothersome for some.
Chapter 4: Open the Floodgates
"Castiel, we need to talk." Missouri stated calmly, which was a deep contrast to how Castiel felt at the moment. He wanted to go back to Dean, but knew he had to take his time with this. The last thing Castiel wanted was for Dean to feel rushed or forced into a bond that would no doubt scare and confuse him. Even though Castiel knew to expect that Dean would reject the idea of having a soul mate, he knew that the initial rejection would still hurt. He honestly had no idea that instincts were really this strong, but just meeting Dean and heavily suspecting that he was his sub apparently made his instincts come out full force.
Castiel nodded. It was better to get this conversation over with so they could figure out the best course of action. "I suppose we do." Castiel figured that Missouri knew exactly what was going on, while Sam frowned at them both. Sam didn't ask any questions though as he studied them both closely. Missouri led Castiel and Sam into a room that resembled a break room that was unoccupied at the moment. After they all were seated at a small round table hospital staff used for breaks, Missouri stared at Castiel like she expected him to say something and when it was apparent that he wasn't she prompted the discussion by turning to Sam instead.
"Sam, while Dean and Castiel were having their little chat I asked you about what you knew about soul mates. You seemed to understand the basics. Like marks and dreams and the roll that they both play in soul mates discovering one another."
Sam still frowned as he glanced from Missouri to Castiel and back again as he tried to figure out why they were even having this conversation. "Yes, I'm not an expert or anything." Sam rubbed his face as if he was so weary. He looked to them both and frowned. "Why are we discussing this, though?"
"Sam, have you ever had any recurring dreams of a certain...sub?"
Sam flushed red and grimaced. He answered somewhat hesitantly as he barely nodded his head. "Yes, I have."
"So if you were to meet your sub randomly one day, do you feel as though you would recognize that sub as yours?"
"I believe so. Yes." Sam was really scowling now as he tried to figure out where this line of questioning was headed.
Missouri just smiled gently at Sam as she patted his hand. "You just keep that in mind, OK?" Sam just nodded his agreement as the frown on his face showed his confusion.
"Castiel, why don't you tell us about the sub in your dreams?" Castiel opened and closed his mouth several times before he could finally utter a sound.
"Well, I. Are you sure we need to discuss this now, Missouri?" Castiel was sure his instincts were right, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to announce it. Especially to the brother of the sub that Castiel was sure was his. He wasn't sure how Sam was going to take hearing that his brother now had a Dom that was claiming to be his soul mate.
Missouri just shook her head as she glared at Castiel. She could see him mentally slapping him on the back of his head in frustration. "Boy. Whether we discuss it now or discuss it later, it is going to be difficult either way. Better to do it now and get it out in the open so there aren't any misunderstandings. Now, tell us about the sub in your dreams."
Castiel looked heavenward as if asking for strength or guidance. With a heavy sigh he began to describe his sub to Missouri and Sam. As he spoke, he watched Sam for that moment of understanding. "Ok. So, the sub I have dreamed of often is obviously male. He appears to be strong. He has brown hair, but could almost be seen as a golden brownish blond at times. He has striking green eyes." Yep, there's the spark of recognition in Sam's eyes as Castiel hesitates for a moment before he added the last bit of information that would, or should, cinch it for Sam. "Um, I believe he has...freckles." Castiel watched as all the pieces clicked together for Sam. He watched as emotions swept over the younger Winchester's face before settling on what Castiel thinks can't be described as anything other than the perfect bitchface. He was confident about the connection between him and Dean, and he knew that Sam legally couldn't keep them apart; however, Sam could make the transition difficult.
Sam glared at Castiel before turning to Missouri and with his thumb pointed toward Castiel he asked incredulously, "Is he freaking serious, right now?" When Missouri nodded, Sam absolutely seemed to lose his shit. "What in the hell do you mean...So you are saying...I can't believe this is happening. Soul mates? For real, you think Dean is your sub?" Castiel nodded as he opened his mouth to respond, but Sam wasn't finished apparently. "No, this can't happen. This can't happen, Missouri. Dean isn't ready for something like this. This is...this is just crazy is what this is. Dean needs time to...well I don't know...get back to being Dean." Sam ran his hands through his hair. "Oh my God, he wants to live alone, Missouri. He wants to be independent. He doesn't want a Dom. Castiel could be wrong about this. You could be wrong about this. The description you just said could be for...I don't know thousands of people."
Missouri cut off Sam's rant sharply as her soft voice was hard as she reprimanded Sam. "Boy, get a grip. What in the hell is wrong with you? This is a good thing. Yes, Dean will be upset at first but once he gets to know Castiel and learns that he is trustworthy then everything will turn out as it should. Sam, you have the strongest influence with Dean right now, and how you react to this is going to directly effect how Dean reacts. So again, get a grip and don't make me knock some sense into you." Missouri's glare was enough to make Sam look away as he continued to frown.
"Missouri, I just...I want Dean to be happy. He hasn't had much of that in his life, especially in the last few years. After what he has been through lately, I know he won't like this. He just wants to be independent, and I want to be able to give him that."
"I understand that, but this is soul mates we are talking about here. Soul mates are special because they are literally made for one another, Sam. Castiel will know exactly what Dean needs, and Dean may not realize it yet, but Castiel will be exactly what he needs. Plus, Dean will know exactly what Castiel needs. I expect Dean to be confused at first and reluctant to trust Castiel, but that is where you and your family will play a role in helping Dean become comfortable with Castiel. I expect Castiel will be around quite a bit in the next few weeks because his instincts will tell him he needs to be close to Dean. Also, we need to decide the best way to approach this with Dean." Missouri's tone had softened some as she spoke, and Sam seemed resigned as he asked Castiel how sure he was that Dean was his.
Castiel's steady gaze met Sam's as he reminded himself that Sam was only trying to protect Dean. "I am so positive that Dean is mine that I would say 99.9% sure."
Sam shook his head. "He isn't going to react well to this, but...if this must happen then...we need to wait until he gets a little more used to you. I trusted you to be his guardian, Castiel, but now that you are saying that he is your sub...I don't know, man. This is just a lot to take in right now."
Castiel chuckled with really no humor. "I agree that it is a lot to take in. I went from agreeing to be a guardian to meeting my soul mate. That is a lot to take in. I don't want to overwhelm Dean, but I don't want to wait too long. If Dean values his independence the way I think he does, then perhaps it isn't such a great idea to keep this from him for too long?"
Sam frowned as if he hadn't thought about the situation like that. "Dean will definitely feel betrayed if he feels as though we kept something this important from him. It will probably just add to his feelings of, I don't know, unworthiness. He is just so insecure, and what if this is too much? If this is really happening that is. We still aren't certain that he is yours, and we won't be until the two of you touch." Sam got up from his chair and started pacing. "I really think this is a bad idea. Missouri, maybe we need to consider our other options. I can do some research about some colleges here in the state and see if I can stay home and go to one nearby." Sam glanced at Castiel. "Maybe then Castiel won't even be needed as a guardian."
Castiel tried hard not to take offense to Sam's words, but he got the message loud and clear. Sam didn't want Dean to be Castiel's, or anyone else's for that matter. Castiel understood that he was just trying to protect his brother from being forced into a situation that he didn't want, but there were laws against keeping soul mates apart. Sam sounded as though he considered this to be an option. It was an option that Castiel was totally against. He had waited too long for his sub to just ignore his instincts. He was sure that Dean was his, and he understood that the situation called for a little caution due to Dean's past but Castiel was sure that biology would not fail them both as soul mates. They were exactly what the other needed because that was exactly the way biology designed soul mates. Castiel wasn't sure when he got so romantic and sentimental, but one look into Dean Winchester's eyes convinced him that green was the most beautiful color ever to exist. So, no, Sam wasn't going to block Dean from becoming his.
Missouri appeared as though she just heard someone say they were going to run naked through the streets covered in whipped cream after Sam finished with his suggestion. Castiel tried to figure out how to respond to Sam's suggestion that perhaps he wasn't needed when Missouri angrily began to let Sam know exactly what she thought of his suggestion. "Sam Winchester, I am ashamed of you! I can't believe...oh the nerve...boy, what goes on in that thick skull of yours? First of all, you will continue on to school as planned. Second, Castiel will be Dean's guardian and his Dom if that is how this plays out. But under no circumstances are we going to just ignore the fact that Castiel and Dean are soul mates, if in fact they are. I know Dean is going to be upset at first, but he will learn with time that Castiel is someone he can trust and love. I can't even believe...ugh..."
"Sorry, Missouri. You are right. I just can't believe this is actually happening. I am sorry. Sorry, Castiel. I guess I just need a moment to process everything before moving forward." Sam said rather sheepishly.
"Yeah, well. During this time that Dean and Castiel get to know one another, you and Castiel need to get to know each other as well. You will be practically family soon; plus you will want to work together to ensure that Dean is happy. Everyone will work together." Missouri's tone didn't leave room for argument. Castiel and Sam both nodded in agreement.
"Now that is settled, you boys can walk me out to my car. We will meet back here tomorrow afternoon so that Castiel can spend a little time with Dean." Sam and Castiel both agreed to meet at the time specified by Missouri. Sam was supposed to send them both updates as needed since he was staying the night with Dean. Castiel watched Sam grab a bag from his car as Castiel started his own car. Sam turned and offered Castiel a wave as he began walking back toward the hospital entrance. Castiel drove off as he contemplated everything that has happened. Castiel arrived home after a quiet ride home and realized that soon his house was going to be home to his soul mate, too. He hoped that Dean liked his home and farm as much as Castiel.
xxxxx
Blue eyes stared back at him as Dean stayed perfectly still on his bed. He tried not to move and desperately wanted to be good for this man. The blue eyed man kneeled on the bed between Dean's legs and his hands were rubbing Dean's thighs lightly in an effort to soothe, but all Dean could think about was how he desperately wanted that man's touch on the hard member that twitched as it strained for attention. Even so, Dean's hands stayed beside his sides grasping the sheets as he kept himself from touching the man...and from reaching out to touch himself. The blue eyes blazed with desire, but also with kindness as his hand moved to grasp Dean's cock making Dean's back bow. He started to tell the man that he was sorry for moving when the man with the blue eyes spoke to him with that gravelly voice that sent a shiver though Dean and made his toes curl. "You are so perfect for me, Dean."
Dean shook his head. He was far from perfect. The man had no clue what he was talking about no matter how his blue eyes seemed to search the depths of Dean's soul. Dean couldn't speak because he was lost to the wonder of the man's hand touching his cock as he slowly moved his hand up and down his shaft gathering precome for lube as he thumbed the head every few strokes. "Open your eyes for me, Dean. Look at me." Dean could have cried even as he moaned loudly as the man sped up his strokes after Dean met his eyes. Dean concentrated on holding back, and felt tears of frustration leak from his eyes as he desperately tried to keep from going over the edge. It was so good..."Please. Let me...I need..."
"Dean, you are so good for me. Perfect. Whenever you want, you can come." With those words, Dean's hot come splashed over the man's hand landing on Dean's stomach. Dean felt as though he was floating as the blue eyed man stroked himself to completion as Dean felt the hot splash of the man's seed mix with his own on his stomach. Dean felt the man hug him close as he felt himself start to drift off...
xxxxx
As Dean woke up, he looked around the hospital room. He had that feeling that something had woke him up, but wasn't quite sure what it could be that woke him. He reached over toward the table to grab his glass of water when he noticed the wet spot in his boxers. His mind flooded with the details of his dream. He was horrified, but wasn't sure what exactly to be the most horrified over. Should he be more horrified that he came in his boxers like a teenager experiencing a freaking wet dream or the fact that he came in his boxers like a teenager experiencing a freaking wet dream about a man that was going to be his guardian? Why in the hell would he dream about him? It had to be the stunning blue eyes. And Dean's own repressed desires since he didn't seem to be able to get himself off without hearing those stupid magic words. Dean was a little worried about the fact that he wasn't able to allow himself to let go without permission. And really? How fucked up was that? He would be dragged down to hell by the hounds of hell themselves before talking to his therapist about that issue. Nope. Not happening.
But apparently permission via dream worked because Dean now found himself in the bathroom cleaning himself up and putting on some clean boxers. He was glad that Sammy brought him a bag of clothes. He panicked as he looked around wondering what he was going to do with the soiled pair of boxers. He settled on putting them in the garbage as he wadded up several paper towels on top in the hopes that no one would see them before the janitors had a chance to collect the garbage. He walked back into his room and decided to try to see if there was anything on TV as he settled into his bed. That was when he sat up in a panic. Holy shit. Sammy brought him some clothes. The bag hadn't been there before so that could only mean one thing.
Sam came into the room while Dean was sleeping. His face flamed hot and flushed red from embarrassment when he realized that Sam possibly witnessed Dean's sleeping form in the throes of the passionate dream about Castiel. Maybe he didn't react outwardly during the dream and Sam just went to get something to eat. Hopefully, Sam just brought the bag and left without being in the room long enough to realize Dean was in the middle of a dream that Dean was unwilling to admit at the moment was the best dream of his life. Of course, having dreams that weren't his typical nightmare was a sweet relief...orgasms aside.
He couldn't believe he had been able to achieve release through a freaking wet dream. That was just screwed up. What in the hell was wrong with him? It didn't matter that it was a natural occurrence among men of both designations to have wet dreams but it was typically during those hormonal adolescent years. Sam was closer to that age than Dean. Dean understood that the last couple of years of having to withhold his orgasms so often that his body craved the release. Apparently, it took his subconscious to help Dean achieve the release he so desperately needed. It frustrated him that after leaving Michael, after leaving the situation that apparently trained his mind and his body more than he thought possible, it was so damn near impossible to let go without having permission except during a freaking wet dream. Michael achieved with Dean what Pavlov had done with his dogs. Dean was so conditioned to needing permission to come that he wasn't even able to pleasure himself anymore to completion. He had tried imagining Michael giving him permission, but he just couldn't do it. He was even considering buying a cage for himself so that he wouldn't feel the ache of being hard with no way of release, even though Michael had used the cage as a way to train Dean. At first, Dean had thought the cock cage was punishment. It wasn't long before Dean realized the cage wasn't the punishment. It was what happened when the cage came off that was the true punishment.
At first, Michael just wanted to watch Dean masturbate in front of him night after night. Dean did it willingly after being released from The Pit that first time. He was so desperate to prove he could be good in order to avoid The Pit. Michael provided instruction, but he never touched Dean. He made it clear that Dean required permission to come and after a while began pushing Dean further and further toward the edge almost making it impossible for Dean to obey. Michael had two rules. Dean required permission to stop doing whatever it was that Michael instructed him to do, and he required permission to come. At first, Michael allowed Dean to come every night, so Dean was ok with it after he got over the initial awkwardness of masturbating in front of another person. Over time though, Michael started waiting longer and longer to give Dean permission to come. Dean tried so hard to be good, but inevitably he failed. The first time he came without permission led to him being drugged and placed in The Pit. Then, the first time he stopped the stimulation without permission in an effort to stop himself from tipping over the edge was when he was introduced to the cage for the first time.
The first time he was punished was when he met Tessa, Michael's personal assistant. She was another sub and Dean often wondered why she was with Michael, but then again he stayed too so he guessed he had no business questioning another's motives for hanging around Michael. While Michael never touched Dean, Tessa was the one that put the cage on him the first time and every time after that. Michael instructed Dean to move to another room that was always locked. Dean wasn't sure what was in the room and he remembered the fear that coursed through him when he realized that it was probably something unpleasant. It was the room that Dean knew Alistar frequently visited for hours at a time before leaving always locking the door behind him. When he was led into the room, that was the first time he actually saw The Rack. Michael told him to allow Tessa to strap him down or he would be forced to tranquilize him again. Dean had shuddered at the thought of being tranquilized unknowing what he was going to awaken to so he allowed himself to be strapped down. He had a strap across his ankles, thighs, arms, wrists, chest, hips, and forehead. They all secured him in such a way that he was unable to move at all, which was the design obviously. Dean panicked as he expected to be lashed or spanked, but instead Tessa told him everything would be ok as she inserted a ball gag in his mouth. His fear had already caused his erection to go away. She then proceeded to wash his private area. It was completely clinical in the way she did it and when she was finished she began to place something on him but he was unable to see what it was. Michael explained that it was a cock cage meant to keep him from achieving an erection and he would have to wear it for an undetermined amount of time. Michael said that once Dean was trained exactly how Michael wanted him would the cage be removed permanently. Until then, it would only be removed nightly during which he would be subjected to whatever Michael had planned for him. It was all part of the training. After the cage was in place, Dean's eyes followed Tessa as she moved toward him with the syringe in her hand. He swore he saw pity in her eyes as she administered whatever drug it was that caused Dean to fall into a deep slumber until he awoke again naked, except for the cage, in The Pit.
Dean sat in his bed as he realized he had done what he said he wouldn't do. He thought about The Pit. The Rack. The endless sessions of being denied the release that he so desperately begged for time and time again. The relief he would feel when allowed to come that resulted in him being so thankful that he would have done anything for Michael just to be allowed the opportunity to orgasm again. Over time, Dean did everything Michael wanted without question. Tessa didn't even have to strap him down to place the cage on him after a while. Dean squeezed his eyes as tears began to fall as he thought about the countless times he was subjected to ice packs to relieve his erections instead of the release he craved only to be locked up in the cage once his erection was replaced by a flaccid cock numbed by the ice. He tried to block out the images of watching himself in a mirror, as Michael had instructed, as he begged Michael for release. Dean wasn't able to even look at himself in a mirror now without seeing the image of himself desperate and begging staring back at him. There was so much more he didn't want to think about, but was unable to block. It was like a floodgate had been opened with no hope of stopping the flood of memories that threatened to drown him as he desperately tried to push back against them. He didn't even realize he had left his bed and was pacing his room crying and tearing at the bedclothes and throwing whatever he could get his hands on until he heard shouts from voices he didn't recognize and felt arms come around him in an attempt to stop his hysterics. He felt the familiar stick of a needle as his eyes met Sam's worried gaze. His brother was trying to speak to him, but the drug was fast working as it began to cloud Dean's mind. This time the darkness the drug offered was a blissful release from the reality of Dean's past.
A/N: I am really enjoying writing this fic, and I especially enjoy reading your reviews and receiving notifications from everyone that either follows or faves my story! Thanks to you all!