Author's Note
Here we are, folks, at the first Aftermath of the season! I'm aware that these episodes aren't exactly the most popular, but they gotta be done. Hopefully you'll all at least enjoy seeing the non-contestants in this little intermission between segments of the season's main plot.
Regarding next week's chapter, I have unfortunately not quite finished it - working out the song ended up taking up more time than I'd liked, but luckily there's only like three or four minutes worth of material left to write - an easy job for Saturday.
I'd also like to remind everyone that a TVTropes page for this series exists, and is in need of love. A huge thanks to Animation Adventures (formerly Karts of Sugar Rush) for putting so much work into it, as well as the couple others that have helped. But there's still so much that can be added, so if you have the time and the know-how I'd greatly appreciate your help in fleshing out the page.
The last little bit I want to say before getting on with the reviews is that The Ridonculous Race has, by the time I actually get this chapter posted, finished it's second amazing week. Episode 11 is still about thirty minutes away as I write this and I've been avoiding watching it online, but I'm confident it'll be a great episode. I hope everyone has been enjoying the new installment to the Total Drama franchise as much as I have!
On to the reviews.
Elizabeth Life Stone: Aha, glad you liked the final scene with Dawn - I was hoping it would shock people.
Guest: Ah, right, I see. Well, the only reason I took those 'breaks' after the first two seasons was to build up my buffer - chapters are written a week in advance, but the two double-length specials had to be posted as soon as they were finished. Then a I skipped a week of posting so that I could write the first two chapters of the next season before it premiered. In truth, I haven't skipped a week of writing this series since it began.
Zak Saturday: Not much...Ella is crushing pretty hard on Alejandro, and Alejandro may be having some second thoughts about using that against her.
Animation Adventures: Thanks! I'm glad you liked my decision to boot Lightning, and even more so that you liked the chapter. As for what Dawn is up to, or what she was thinking...well, as you said, it's an intriguing mystery that won't be answered until, well, it's answered. Oh, and I love 'I'm Gonna Make It' as well. Really, nearly all of the end-game songs are just golden, and I'm gonna try to recapture their essences once I finally get to those episodes next year.
DSX62415: Well, you're certainly right in that the plot comes first. As for whether or not Dawn will return, and when...well, the first is pretty much a given; but I'm not about to spoil the latter. As for Ninninger...well, it's been okay so far. Kasumi is really the only one I really like, but the rest aren't awful or anything.
Glowing Insanity: Haha, I'm glad I surprised you! I hope you enjoy what happens next...
lordkalel: Thanks! As for whether or not Area 51 will be involved with the Great Danger that Dawn saw...well, youll just have to wait and see.
CVluvFoxy: Ah, I see. I'm glad you liked what Sugar's been doing so far, it's been fun exploring her character ore than in season one. And I'm also happy you're liking Shawn getting more screentime, since it's something I've been trying to make up for. As for Tyler's subplots...well, he certainly isn't done yet in that regard.
The Prime Writer: You got that right! This season I've been trying more than ever to make the chapters right before the Aftermaths be pretty important plot-wise. They're milestones, I feel, and as such should be extra dramatic. Glad to hear you're looking forward to this week's chapter, too! It won't have too many answers to the questions you asked just out of necessity, but I think it'll be enjoyable nonetheless.
PizzaTheBomb: Glad to hear you liked the episode! Well, except for you not really liking Ezekiel or Tyler, but everyone has their favorites so it's no big deal to me. Glad to know you're liking Geoff, though! And as for Dawn...well, to an extent she doesn't want to confront her feelings, but more importantly she did actually have a dream-vision that she's considering even more important. I guess she's kind of weird like that.
aloasa: Haha, well at least in the sense that they both willingly dropped out of the game. As for what's gonna happen with Scott and Sugar, Geoff and Bridgette, Alejandro and Ella...well, you'll have to wait until next week at the very earliest, I'm afraid.
acosta perez jose ramiro: Yeah, that's pretty much what I've been hinting at for the entire series.
FOWLKON: Yup, you've got a pretty good handle on some of the consequences of Dawn's departure. I won't spoil the specifics, though, or what Scott's trying to do either. Oh, and for the record? Please don't post spoilers in reviews, even though admittedly I did know of that particular development. Also for the record? NoCo is a bottom-tier ship. Always has been, and always will be. Nowen is the best gay Noah ship, and while I am disappointed it was kind of sunk I am also liking Nemma.
Bruno14: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the song last chapter, and what's been going on between the contestant.
Nickie Mudkip: Right, right, fair enough. I knew going into last week that I would be disappointing some people, and you just happen to be the first one that posted. At least Lightning's gonna be a guest on today's episode, though. And while I could have had Dawn decide to leave publicly...it just wasn't what I felt she would do. She didn't wanna have to face anybody on her way out, and so she didn't. And yeah, Lightning's part of last week's song was probably the most awkward to imagine, but I couldn't work out a better way to write it.
LadyEnigma888: Thank you so much! It's always really great to hear from long-time readers, first-time reviewers. I'm glad I was able to make you like Scott and Sugar more, since they're pretty important to the story right now. And yeah, I'm watching and loving The Ridonculous Race - hard to say who my favorites are at this point, but I've enjoyed rpetty much everyone. As for whether or not I ever include the new characters in my work...it's hard to say right now. I'm not entirely certain what fics I'll be writing in the future, but I'd say it's pretty likely that I'll make use of the new characters at some point.
Star Saber21: Haha, I'm glad you liked Team Chris' victory, but in all honesty I was just cribbing that from canon - it was one of the few episodes in which the canon version of Team Victory actually won. I did re-purpose the monkeys, though, and I'm glad you liked what I did with them. Same for the various tricks and scheming that are going around. As for Dawn's sleeping problems being related to her inability to meditate on the plane...well, perhaps there could be something to that, I hadn't actually thought of it so thank you for bringing it up!
OMAC001: Well, perhaps not this chapter as it's an Aftermath, but eventually...
Boggie445: Ah, I don't think so. I'm not really looking for a recurring animal character right now, sorry.
TaitanoRules555: Thanks, but I can't take credit for a scene that was in canon.
I. M. Poik: Ah, nice to hear it! And...really? You spoil yourself like that? That's honestly kind of unexpected. But I guess it's worked for you so far... Anyway, I'm glad you understand the reasoning behind Lightning's elimination, and that you're curious about Dawn's departure. Hopefully it'll all pan out as well as I've envisioned it. Same with the other plot developments which, as you've said, will happen next week. For now? The Aftermath.
Knifez: Hah, yeah, I knew you'd be annoyed that Lightning was eliminated. Although I'm kinda glad that it's more the 'how' than the 'why' - I figured you'd object about some of his development from last season being ignored, and perhaps that it was too obvious too early. My thoughts regarding the votes, at least, was that I still wanted to build some suspense - have two obvious votes for Lightning from Scott and Ezekiel, followed by two votes for someone else. I'll admit that my earliest idea for this vote was that it would be Geoff who cast the deciding vote against Lightning while Tyler stuck by him, but I ended up deciding that it would be a bigger step for Tyler to vote for Lightning instead to show that he has his limits with what he'll put up with. And once I decided that, I figured Geoff would be the one to vote for Scott, and that Lightning also voting Scott would hopefully work as well (even though it didn't quite). I wouldn't say this whole situation is a cop-out on my part to get rid of Lightning early, but rather that once I to think of an idea I like even a little bit, I tend to latch onto and go with it no matter what (Dawn leaving is also an example). It hasn't always worked out perfectly for me, but it's the writing style I'm comfortable and I don't intend on changing it.
Ddynamo: Yeah, sorry you had to see that. Not much else to say to the short review, but thanks for the continued reading!
NewAgeHero: Forget about Blaineley? Sorry, not gonna happen. Though I will grant that giving Lightning that spot has crossed my mind, but I just really don't think I'll be doing it.
Ruffhero77: Ah, thanks, it's nice to hear that. I don't think the build-up was quite as good as I would've liked, but I suppose it does work for most people. And yeah, Dawn's departure was meant to be sudden in shocking, so I'm not surprised it left a bad taste. Don't worry, though, I'm not gonna forget about her.
ashDanLand: Well, I'm glad you liked last chapter! I hope you like this chapter too. I'm not really a fan of people quitting reality shows either, but what works for the plot works for the plot.
ferguson97: Thanks! And I'm glad I was able to make you happy about Lightning's development, even though I had to eliminate him. I hope you like his appearance this episode as well. As for the skipping around with the episodes...well, I just wanted to change things up a bit, keep all you readers on your toes and such.
BuckJohnson: Hey, I'm glad you liked it! how the season is turning out so far! And yeah, I've been trying to avoid the losing streak that canon had. The eliminations aren't perfectly balanced, though, but you'll have to wait to see what I mean.
musicalBooknerd13: Well...I'm glad you like how I'm portraying Ezekiel at least. And also Sierra, Shawn, and Bridgette too. Thanks for the review!
VIPGuest: Thanks! And yeah, I can understand finding some of the songs awkward. I'm still not really sure how I can make them better. As for when The Ridonculous Race is gonna come out in Australia...sorry, I have no idea. As far as I know nothing's been announced for anywhere yet, so the only ones who'd know is whatever network is gonna air it.
wifishark: Right, that's kind of what I was hoping - Lightning's had a good run, so it's not that bad if he gets an early boot here. I hope you like the Aftermath!
Sleep Arypsure: No problem, no problem. To be honest, I'm a little out of it too after answering so many reviews. The important thing to me is that you liked last chapter, so thanks for letting me know.
Phew! That's all of them, finally. Took longer than I expected, so sorry for getting this chapter out so late. It won't change today, but the remaining contestants are as follows:
Team Victory - Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff
Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean - Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ
Team Universe - Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett
We've got the season's first Aftermath today, and two new songs along with it. I hope you enjoy!
- Fangren
Episode 6 – The Aftermath: Lightning Strikes Thrice
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode, the scene fading into a close-up of a spinning blue globe. As the camera moved up across Africa and Europe, the words 'TOTAL' and 'DRAMA' appeared in white block letters with a flash, moving up at an angle to make room for 'WORLD TOUR' in two additional rows of larger letters. One final word, 'AFTERMATH', appeared below it in a shower of stars, and as the theme music reached a tentative low the gleam from the words took over the whole screen.
xxx
"I just wish I'd had the time to figure out what really happened to our video." Beardo sighed, then put his hands to his mouth and began to play 'Taps'. He made his way to the exit, then stopped playing to accept the parachute pack from the smiling host. He put in on, but paused before jumping to make the sound of a lightbulb clicking on. "Hold up," he said with realization on his face, "I bet it was because of-"
He was cut off when a frowning Chef Hatchet kicked him in the back, sending him flying out the open door.
xxx
The new Aftermath logo appeared again, its gleam taking over the screen again to transition to the next clip.
xxx
Lightning glared at Ezekiel for a second, then turned sharply on his heel and crossed his arms. "Fine! Lightning was too good for this show anyway!" He walked towards the host, snatched the parachute pack that was silently offered to him, and kept moving with his eyes shut uncaringly.
"Later, dude," Chris told the overachiever. "And watch out, that first step's a big one."
"Sha-duh," Lightning said, opening his eyes to glare back at the host. "Lightning knows-"
The overachiever suddenly dropped off the screen, and the camera pulled back to show that he'd walked right out the open door without realizing it. He could be heard screaming "THAAAAAATT!" as he fell through the air outside, Chris leaning out the door to watch with mild interest.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
You guys are on my mind!
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
I wanna be...famous!
I wanna live close to the sun!
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
xxx
The new intro sequence played again, with the words 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR AFTERMATH' flashing into position on-screen to that same electric theme. An unseen audience went wild as the music neared its end, and the scene flashed to the Aftermath studio, nearly unchanged since last season save for a few barely-visible repairs to the right wall and ceiling.
Two figures sat on the central couch, and surprisingly they were both blonde-haired white women: on the left was the familiar form of Dakota Milton, heiress and Daddy's girl; on the right was a relative newcomer sitting prim and cool in a low-cut red dress.
Further right was the Peanut Gallery, currently staffed by six former contestants. In the bottom row, from left to right, sat Sam, as chubby and scruffy as ever but now looking distinctly annoyed; handsome Topher with a wide grin pointed directly at the camera; and Amy looking rather haughty. The top row, also left to right, held Beth, still quite dorky but with a slight hint of class; B's distinct coolness; and Jo, arms crossed and smirking happily at the camera.
"Who's ready for some totally dramatic aftermath?" Dakota opened giddily as the camera slowly focused in on her and her new cohost. "I'm Dakota," she greeted with a giggle.
"And I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran," the other woman added. "I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt!"
"But today we're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!" Dakota said, prompting another loud cheer from their audience.
"We've got the juiciest dirt," Blaineley said, "and the dirtiest juice! Everything you've ever wanted to hear dished about season three."
"Plus we've got some special guests," Dakota added, "and some surprises you guys are gonna love! But first, let's introduce my friends." She motioned towards the Peanut Gallery, but the camera stopped on her cohost.
"You mean the other sad bystanders," Blaineley said, "who can't even play this season?"
"Well that's rude," Dakota said with a frown as a few audience members laughed. She put her smile back on, and motioned once more to the side as a low drumming tune began to play. "Please welcome the Total Drama Peanut Gallery, Sam," a round of applause went up as the camera cut to a close-up of the gamer who smiled and waved; "Topher," the pretty boy shot a finger pistol at the camera; "Amy," the mean girl flipped her hair a little and smirked; "Jo," the jock-ette gave a curt but good-natured wave; "B," the silent boy smirked and nodded to the camera; "and Beth!" the wannabe-turned-model smiled and waved.
"So, how does everybody feel about the fact that you're the only ones that didn't get to compete this season?" Blaineley asked. "Must be pretty harsh knowing that you weren't chosen."
"Why are you acting like we got snubbed on purpose?" Sam said. "We lined up against a wall and got shot at random," he explained, "it isn't anybody's fault that we're not competing. Though I wish I could say the same thing about me not getting my job back." He glared at Blaineley, who in turn shot an awkward look at the camera as it zoomed out and the audience 'oooh'ed.
"No idea what you're talking about, Sam," Blaineley said, quickly returning to her normal demeanor. "How about the rest of you?"
"Being on that show was not what I needed for my career," Topher admitted.
"And it's not like I need another million dollars," Jo added cockily.
"But what about the free trip around the world?" Blaineley asked.
"With Chris and Chef torturing us?" Beth responded. "No thank you!"
"But what about watching all your old friends hang out without you?" the hostess followed up.
"Please, who'd want to hang out with those losers?" Amy scoffed.
"Guess they're just being honest," Blaineley told Dakota. "But what about you? Any regrets?"
An inquisitive melody started to play as the shot cut in close to the heiress' face as she was momentarily taken off-guard. "Umm, like, no! One season of that was more than enough, and now I get to host the Aftermath show in front of all my fans!" She turned and blew a kiss to the audience, who went wild again.
"Care to prove it with a game of 'Truth or Hammer'?" Blaineley asked, impishly waggling an eyebrow at the camera.
The same grand tune that had been used last season played over the traditional shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice; and another round of muted cheering could be heard when the original wooden mallet swung down and destroyed the statue.
"Ummm...okay, I'd be happy to!" Dakota declared hesitantly, the music spiking dramatically as the titular hammer swung down at her from above; she narrowly ducked under it with a hurried yelp.
"Nice moves, Dakota," Blaineley said with a light chuckle. "But I've caught wind of something that suggests you really do wish you had another chance at the game." A few audience members gasped.
"As if," Dakota said haughtily. "All that pain and humiliation, and only for a single million? That's, like, nothing to me!"
A few ominous chanted notes sounded as a safe, an anvil, and a baby grand piano fell in quick succession; Dakota barely dodged them all, and ducked behind the guests' couches for cover. "Hey, watch it!" She said in outrage, sticking her head up once the dust had settled. "This game is over! Time to move on to an actual segment, okay?"
She walked back towards the center couch, casting a wary look at the large hole that had been made in the hardwood floor. "We'll be spending time with everyone who's left the show since the season began," she said, resuming her cheerful tone.
"Everyone we could find at least," Blaineley clarified with a light chuckle, "because two ex-contestants have gone 'AWOL'. Which leads us to our new segment, as designed by moi!" She gestured proudly to herself.
The scene cut to a largely black screen, two familiar silhouettes frozen into a running pose under a lone spotlight. "Total! Drama!" Dakota began to say as the crowd began to cheer. "Fugitives!" In one fluid motion a large cage slammed down over the two silhouettes, which stopped running and were revealed to be Dawn and Staci. A light and mysterious tune began to play in the background.
"After having some kinda of mysterious vision," Dakota said over muted footage of Dawn's fretful sleep in the Amazon and her later confessional as displayed on a wide-screen TV that had been lowered in front of the host couch, "Dawn became the first contestant in Total Drama history to quit."
"I'm not surprised," Amy said. "She's such a freak that you could expect her to do anything!"
"But what's weird is," Blaineley continued, ignoring the cheerleader, as a darkened silhouette of the mystic's head stamped with a white question mark slid into view on the screen behind her, "Dawn didn't come home!"
"She was last seen in the ruined, umm, ruins, of Machu Picchu," Dakota told the camera. "But since then, nothing. She's, like, totally disappeared!"
"So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before," Blaineley said confidently, "with some seriously incredible sightings and photos."
"Let's take a look at a photo taken by Juan Carlos Ramirez of Florencia, Colombia," Dakota said.
The audience gasped as a still and grainy image of a roughly Dawn-shaped figure swinging by a vine in the distance; her face was obscured by a passing macaw. "Real sighting?" Blaineley asked as the photo lingered on screen. "Or fake?"
"That is such a f-," Dakota tried to say, only to have her lips pinched shut by her cohost.
"We sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness," Blaineley said, quickly looking back over her shoulder to holler "Roll it!" before smiling for the camera again.
xxx
The footage cut in to Topher standing with a middle-aged latino man wearing a checkered shirt and a straw hat in front of a patch of jungle.
"So, Señor Ramirez, tell us what you saw," Topher said amicably before moving his microphone towards the other man.
Juan Carlos immediately launched into a low, rapid, and matter-of-fact explanation in nearly indecipherable Spanish. He punctuated it with several hand gestures, pointing first into the forest, then back over his shoulder, then back at the forest again.
"Uh, c-could you slow down a bit?" Topher said, trying to disguise how lost he was looking. "I can't make out what you're saying."
In response the man gave a deep and disgruntled sigh, then turned and walked away leaving Topher to stare helplessly at the camera.
xxx
"Like I said," Dakota said as the feed cut back to the studio, "that sighting was totally a fake."
"Fine," Blaineley told her, "don't believe. But just yesterday we had another sighting from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil!" She smiled at the camera, and another video clip promptly began.
xxx
The scene was set at Cristo Redentor, the famous statue that overlooked the city. It looked to be just about daybreak, and there was a light fog in the area.
"Olha! Olha!" a masculine voice called from off-camera as a brown-skinned arm pointed up at the statue. The camera zoomed in on it shakily, showing what looked like a small figure with long, pale hair sitting in lotus position with its back to the camera on one of the statue's outstretched hands.
The fog moved in front of the figure for a brief second, but when it parted a loud gasp was heard – the figure was nowhere to be seen.
xxx
"What about that one?" Blaineley asked as the camera moved away from a close-up of the figure on the TV screen, which despite the low resolution did look an awful lot like Dawn. "Real? Fake?"
"Ooh, tough to say," Dakota said with her face scrunched up in thought. "We didn't get that good of a look at...whatever that was before it disappeared."
"But who else but Dawn could disappear like that?" Blaineley asked. "It would be hard to fake that!"
"But the big question remains," Dakota told the camera with a knowing look, "just where is Dawn now?"
"Nobody can find her!" Blaineley said. "Not even everyone's fave host, Chris McLean."
"Chris is looking for Dawn?" Beth asked from the Peanut Gallery.
"Chris has the entire Total Drama machine looking for Dawn!" Blaineley said.
xxx
A few sharp notes played as the scene cut to a massive and blocky robot walked through a suburban neighborhood, repeating "Dawn!" in a computerized voice. The camera cut inside a bedroom where a white woman was sleeping soundly. The massive robot's bulbous yellow-and-red eye appeared outside her window, its pupil contracted, and with a shake broke through the ceiling. The woman woke up and screamed in terror as she saw the robot's clawed hand approaching her.
xxx
"So keep those Dawn sightings coming," Blaineley told the audience. "She can't hide from us forever!"
"Also acting camera-shy," Dakota said with a clear image of Staci on the wide-screen television behind her, "everyone's favorite chatterbox!" The audience cheered as the camera pulled back from the hosts.
"Camera-shy? So not cool, Staci!" Blaineley told the picture above her.
"Please, like anything about Staci could ever be cool," Amy chimed in.
"Oh, I don't know about that," Dakota said. "This is kinda cool."
"That's right," Blaineley said. "Just like Dawn, Staci up and vanished after leaving the Total Drama Jet in Egypt."
"She mentioned something about visiting her relatives," Dakota added as muted footage of the compulsive liar's Drop of Shame played behind her, "but with all the stuff she's made up, nobody knows which ones are even real!"
"So true," Blaineley said with a sage nod. "Luckily, the Total Drama fans answered the call and produced the following two sightings. Let's watch." She motioned to the screen as it cut to static and overtook the entire scene.
xxx
"Our first clip was taken in the outskirts of Damascus, Syria," Blaineley said as the clip began, showing a cloaked figure walking along a desolate road at night. It was clearly taken from inside a car, and showed a large truck pull up next to the cloaked figure.
"Ehh, you want ride?" a masculine voice asked in broken English.
"Yah, that would be great, thanks" the cloaked figure said in a familiar voice. She stepped into the truck, which promptly sped off.
xxx
"Well, that definitely sounded like Staci," Dakota said skeptically as the scene cut back to her and Blaineley with their necks craned up to watch the video.
"I know, right?" the older blonde said. "But that's not all, look!"
xxx
The next clip was taken from what seemed like a boat on a body of water; the camera was trained on a suspension bridge in the distance and zoomed in when another large truck, distinctly different from the one in the previous clip suddenly stopped. A large pinkish object was thrown off the bridge from it, and fell into the water below.
xxx
"That was taken from a freighter in Istanbul, by the way," Blaineley said as the static cut back to the studio. "What do you think," she added as still images of both the cloaked figure and the falling pink blur appeared in a split-screen behind her, "real or fake?"
"Ehh, I'm not convinced," Jo said from the Peanut Gallery with a thoughtful look at the screen. "Don't know why anyone would wanna fake being her though."
"Good point," Blaineley said. "But as great as this manhunt has been, I think it's time we moved on."
"Time to spend time with today's Aftermath guest, Beardo!" Dakota finished, earning another round of applause from the crowd.
"Sad to see him come back on the show so soon," Blaineley commented.
"Like you were even here last time," Sam said, earning a quick glare from the older hostess.
The crowd 'ooh'ed, and the camera quickly cut to Dakota. "Umm, anyway, what happened to Beardo was such a tragedy, am I right?" the younger woman asked the audience, earning a smattering of light applause. "I totally didn't see Scott and Sugar's alliance coming, like, at all."
"Neither did anybody!" Blaineley said with a small chuckle. "That's why they were able to trick Team Chris into voting off Beardo. Which is such a shame, he's so talented!"
"Please welcome our beatboxing legend, Beardo!" Dakota said to an energetic theme as the audience applauded. She motioned stage right and the camera followed, catching Beardo as he strutted out on stage and waved at the crowd.
"Yo yo yooo~," he said as he paused on-stage. "Beardo is back in Toronto~!" The crowd went even wilder, and the hairy boy walked over to the couches with a confident smirk.
"Welcome back to the show!" Dakota greeted, standing up to exchange a hug with the hairy boy. "Shame about what happened, though."
"Don't I know it," Beardo told her amicably as he sat down on the guest couch, earning a laugh from the audience.
"Well then Beardo, it's time to look at your journey video," Blaineley spoke up. "All the dramatic events that brought you to this moment." She looked up at the widescreen, which promptly cut to static.
xxx
An elevator music-like tune played over the montage, which began with a short clip of Beardo looking up at the jumbo jet and saying "Dang!" in a drawn-out manner.
The second short clip showed him running in fear through an Egyptian pyramid with Sierra, while the third was just him wiping the sweat from his brow as he trudged through the desert while making a sizzling sound.
Fourth was him sliding smoothly across the frigid Yukon landscape on his feet, giving the camera a finger pistol and saying "Cool," as he passed by. Fifth was him holding a camcorder and giving a thumbs-up to someone off-screen and saying "Perfect!"
The sixth and final was of him falling through the sky, hollering "Not again!" until he pulled the cord on his pack and the parachute deployed.
xxx
The crowd applauded as the widescreen cut back to static and the camera moved back to the hosts and guest.
"Whoa, hold up," Beardo said with wide eyes, following it up with the sound of a video being paused and then rewound. "I've been on this show for three seasons, and all I get is like six seconds?" He made the sound of something sizzling, then exploding. "You didn't even show off any of my best moments! What kinda highlight video is that."
"Well then Beardo, have we got some highlights for you!" Blaineley told him impishly before the scene cut to static again.
xxx
The first highlight started with a close-up of Beardo lying in a bunkbed, wide awake. Based on the light coming in from the far window it was morning, and the hairy boy promptly signaled it by performing a very good rendition of 'Reveille' on imitated bugle. The camera zoomed out and panned slightly to the left to show DJ, Alejandro, and Topher all glaring at him with their hands covering their ears, and Topher threw a pillow at the beatboxer in annoyance causing the studio audience to laugh a little.
Static cut to the next highlight, which showed Beardo lounging against a tree in some wooded area with Beth sitting nearby. He put his hands to his mouth and made a loud moose call that made Beth giggle, then gasp in fear when a grizzly bear stood up out of some bushes behind them and growled. Moments later, it bellowed in fear of its own as a bull moose charged into the scene, chasing the bear and two humans out of sight. Another bout of laughter was heard from off-screen.
More static, and the third highlight – this time he was standing in a film studio loitering around while a pair of familiar-looking crewmembers carried a large stage light together. Donning an impish smirk, the camera zoomed in as he put his hand to his mouth and made the sound of a door slamming open, a few sharp footsteps, and then suddenly the sound of a flurry of gunfire. He stopped when he heard a crash, and the camera zoomed back out to show that the two crewmen had dropped the light in panic, and were now glaring back at Beardo and punching their fists. The audience laughed yet again.
The fourth and final highlight was the longest, and it took place in the economy class compartment of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, the darkness outside the windows suggesting it was night. A lilting tune played as the camera panned across the sleeping forms of Team Victory, then Team Chris. Once more the shot focused in on the beatboxer as he snored...or started to snore, anyway. Instead of the standard noises, the slumbering soundboard produced the sound of a plane engine sputtering and stalling. It was enough to wake a few of the others up, but they soon fell back to sleep as Beardo's sounds temporarily ceased. Seconds later he made the sound of a plane experience some awful turbulence which caused those around him to clench their eyes shut and cover their ears in irritation, only to be startled fully awake when Beardo suddenly launched into a full-scale warning siren amidst the continued rumblings.
He was still asleep even when he suddenly stopped a moment later, and as such did not notice the glares he was getting from the rest of the compartment. Nor did he notice Scott grin and shove what looked like a ball of sweatsocks into his mouth.
xxx
"Huh, so that's why I had that taste in my mouth," Beardo said idly as the shot cut back to the studio, the audience laughing yet again.
"Aren't you embarrassed that we showed the world the less flattering side of your skills?" Blaineley asked in slight confusion.
"Not really," Beardo answered with a shrug. "I mean, at least you showed off my range pretty well. Besides, I know I can be bothersome sometimes. It's a curse that comes with skills as sick as mine." A few cheers came from the audience.
"Hey," Blaineley said, quickly moving on as a fast-paced techno tune played, "it's time for Beardo to sing!"
"Wow, I didn't think you'd do that to him now," Topher spoke up.
"A reunion of your band 'Drama to Drama'?" Blaineley replied. "Right here on the Aftermath? Great idea Topher!"
"Haha, sure was!" the handsome boy laughed with a nervous look around the room.
"Umm, I know you're a huge fan," Dakota told her cohost, "but this might be a little over the-"
"Nah, it's cool," Beardo interrupted. "I don't mind the back-up. But what about Alejandro? He's part of the band too."
"Already covered," Blaineley smiled.
Beardo nodded and cleared his throat. "Right. This one's goin' out to Scott and Sugar, so get ready 'cause it's gonna be wild."
~/~
"Not gonna lie, ya beat me;"
[Beardo opened in a close-up of his head, facing to the left against a purplish background. No music had begun yet.]
"Ya covered my eyes to cheat me;"
[The first close-up froze in place and was relocated to the left side of a mirrored split-screen, the beatboxer singing his next line on the right side, the close-up now against a teal background.]
"Out of that million dollar prize..."
[The first two close-ups looked down as the screen was split again and a head-on shot of the beatboxer against a pinkish background covered the bottom half.]
[A keyboard began to play slowly with a tambourine accompanying it, then Dakota and Blaineley were shown sharing a look.]
"But though that alliance of yours seems strong,"
[Beardo continued, rising from his seat on the guest couch.]
"I know that your plan for winnin's wrong,"
[A spotlight was shown on him as he began to walk towards stage right; he paused by a few trunks by a wooden divider.]
"'Cause it's built on fragile lies..."
[He paused, then walked behind the divider.]
"And it'll all...fall down!"
[The first phrase was sung while he was still hidden from view and the music began to pick up, even adding an electric guitar to the mix. The second phrase came as he stepped out from behind the divider, revealing a new outfit – massive bush of hair tied back; shades; an unzipped black hoodie; and a thin gold necklace with a rainbow-colored pendant.]
"Oh yeah!"
[Topher added as the shot abruptly cut to the rest of the band – B on the left playing his keyboard, having only added shades to his normal attire; Topher in the center with the tambourine, also wearing shades in addition to a sleek khaki-colored shirt and expensive-looking blue jeans; to the right on the guitar was, surprisingly, Sasquatchanakwa who was wearing a knit cap and gold chain in addition to his shades. Behind them was a backdrop depicting the two who'd earned Beardo's ire, grinning evilly and separated by a jagged split that left Scott on the left and Sugar on the right.]
"You think you all are gonna dominate, and facilitate, the eliminates,"
[Beardo rapped, sliding into view in front of his bandmates and casting the backdrop a harsh glare.]
"But Beardo's here to tell ya that you aren't so great, and your downfall's comin' soon."
[He looked back at the camera as it focused in on him and B, who smirked at the camera, then panned slightly to show Topher grinning.]
"Oh yeah!"
[Topher repeated as the shot briefly cut to the Peanut Gallery where Beth was brimming with excitement, Jo was tapping her foot to the beat, Sam was watching happily, and Amy was trying to hide her interest.]
"'Cause Bridgette, DJ, Sierra, and Shawn,"
[Beardo continued as the camera cut back to him. He raised a finger for each name he called out, and with each one a corresponding picture appeared in one quarter of the screen behind him – the surfer in the upper left against a green background; the brickhouse in the upper-right against light blue; the super fan in the lower-right against red; and the survivalist in the lower-left against light brown.]
"Are still in the game and it's gonna dawn,"
[Beardo suddenly faded as the split-screen of his former teammates took over the scene, then suddenly split to show Scott and Sugar standing confidently in the cross of white left between the four.]
"On them – that you two are just up to no good;"
[The portraits of Team Chris turned as one to glare at Scott and Sugar, who flinched in fear.]
"And they'll beat your butts just like they should."
[The four angered portraits pulled back slightly, then slammed into Scott and Sugar creating a swirling cloud of green, blue, red, and brown.]
"Yeah!"
[The cloud immediately faded back to a shot of the full band standing against the unchanged backdrop as Topher chimed in again.]
"And did ya forget that Al's there too?"
[Beardo continued, pointing above him as a close-up of Alejandro smiling nefariously took over the top third of the screen.]
"You think he's not gonna notice you? Please."
[The picture of Alejandro donned a knowing smirk and wagged a finger.]
"His eyes might be on that singer girl,"
[Beardo pointed downwards as a picture of Ella smiling at a bird that had landed on her finger slid into the bottom third of the scene, surprising the picture of Alejandro.]
"But his mind is on that million, girl,"
[With a swipe of his hand Beardo sent the picture of Ella sliding off to the right, getting replaced by a close-up of a glistening stack of cash that made the picture of Alejandro smile greedily.]
"And Sugar? He ain't gonna like you steppin' on his turf."
[Another swipe from Beardo, and the bottom third was replaced yet again – this time by an image of Sugar which gulped nervously when she looked up at saw Alejandro grinning deviously down at her.]
"And we all know that Scarlett's worse."
[Beardo pushed the two images away as he leaned forward and gave the camera a knowing look.]
"Yeah!"
[Topher added again, the shot briefly zooming out before cutting back in to Beardo as he began to beatbox freestyle. This continued for a several seconds, during which the Peanut Gallery was shown getting even more into it; Beth even got stood up and started cheering along with the crowd.]
"Umm, this might be getting a little too wild..." Dakota said with a nervous glance aside.
"Yeah! We love you, Drama to Drama!" Blaineley suddenly jumped up and cheered, startling her cohost. The older woman screamed, then fainted flat on her back between the couch and table with her legs sticking up in the air.
"No doubt," Beardo said with a cool nod to the hostess as he slid into view again.
"So Scott and Sugar, tell me again,"
[Beardo started rapping once more.]
"Exactly how you're gonna own this game, and when?"
[The camera rotated as Beardo took a sliding step away from the hosts, putting himself back in front of his bandmates,]
"'Cause the way I see it y'all got no time to harm,"
[He said, leaning towards the camera for emphasis.]
"Before your last day comes and then it's back. To. The farm."
[He finished by busting a few moves, then once the music had finished as well he stood up straight and dropped his mic.]
~/~
"Can I regain control of this totally messed up situation?" Dakota asked the camera over the roar of the crowd and the beginning of the Aftermath theme, pointing a thumb to her fallen cohost. "Stay tuned, and see if we'll even be back with more Total Drama: The Aftemath." She winked at the camera, and the scene cut to the show's new logo as its gleam took over the scene.
(Fade to Commercial and Back)
The Aftermath theme played again and the audience cheered as the show's logo re-appeared, then flashed back to the studio.
"Hi everyone!" Blaineley greeted, holding an ice pack to the top of her head and looking generally disheveled. "And welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath!"
Dakota giggled as the camera pulled back to include her in the shot. "Yeah, the aftermath of you losing it over a boyband," she said to a few chuckles from the audience.
"I was demonstrating enthusiasm," Blaineley said, "it's part of my job." A snazzy beat played as the camera focused on her. "As we've just proved, Total Drama is the most dramatic show in the history of drama!"
"And Blaineley proved that she's not as cool as she wants you to think," Dakota smirked.
"In entertainment news," the older woman continued in annoyance, "Drama to Drama has just caused a minor riot here!"
"They were last seen on foot," Dakota told the audience with the air of someone sharing some juicy gossip, "running for their lives from a..." she paused to put her hand to her ear, then furrowed her brow and said "a yellow school bus? Seriously?"
"Let's go to the scene and see what we can find out!" Blaineley suggested excitedly.
xxx
The scene cut to what looked like a backstage hallway where an old man was mopping the floor and what was clearly Topher in a dime-store disguise stood by with a microphone in hand.
"Tell us what you saw, roaming reporter," Blaineley said from off-screen.
"Well Blaineley," Topher said in a deepened voice from behind his fake nose, beard, and mustache, "the incredibly handsome and amazingly talented rock legend Topher of Drama to Drama just ran past here with his two bandmates, barely escaping the horde of girls chasing them."
"And what did these girls look like?" Blaineley asked.
"Young and wearing plaid kilts, Blaineley," Topher answered. "If I had to guess, I'd say they were students at a private girl's school."
"Interesting," the hostess said. "Anything else to share?"
"Yeah, they-" Topher began to say, but was cut off when Beardo and B, still in the outfits they had worn for their performance, peered out of the star-bearing door to the right.
"Yo Toph," Beardo asked, "is it safe to come out yet? Those girls gone yet?"
A sudden resurgence of screaming and a horde of footsteps got their attention as the camera pulled back and began to shake. "They were!" Topher said in his normal voice, taking off running with his bandmates – as well as the startled janitor.
xxx
/
"Ooh, looks like the boys are in trouble again," Dakota said with a light giggle. "They'd better hope those fans of theirs don't catch up with them."
"Hmmph," Blaineley replied, rolling her eyes. "How about we move on to our next guest," she asked both the camera and her cohost, "unless you'd like to answer a few questions?" She smiled impishly at the younger girl.
"Actually," Dakota said with a look of annoyance, "I was thinking it was time for everyone's favorite montage of pain, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!" She spread her arms wide as the audience cheered and her cohost huffed again, and the scene cut to static once more.
xxx
The segment's familiar tune began to play as the first clip started, depicting Alejandro and Ella running through the Amazonian rain forest together. The charmer paused to move was appeared to be a thick vine out of the way for his teammate, who blushed and smiled at his thoughtfulness as she walked past. But as soon as Alejandro tried to walk forward too, the vine revealed itself to be a large constrictor snake that immediately coiled around the handsome boy and squeezed him tightly enough to earn a laugh from the audience.
Static cut to the second clip, which began with DJ calmly walking towards the bathroom on the plane. When he opened the door, however, a baby panda leaped out and began to maul him. The crowd laughed over his shrieks of pain.
The third clip was set in the Yukon, where Tyler was standing on an ice floe on the half-frozen river. He flailed his legs as he slipped and fell face-first on the ice, then as he stood back up Lightning came out of nowhere from behind him, his eyes shut confidently as he jumped onto the ice...then promptly tripped over Tyler and fell into the frigid water. The audience laughed yet again as the camera panned over to a polar bear and its cub watching nearby; the adult covered the cub's eyes.
xxx
The scene cut back to Dakota giggling in the studio while Blaineley looked at her with a mixture of boredom and annoyance. "Like I said earlier, I so wouldn't wanna be back on the show right now," Dakota said.
"I doubt that," Blaineley told her. "I have it on good authority that you're lying."
"Well I'm not," Dakota said with a sterner and forced giggle. "Why would I be? Instead of being out there getting eaten or attacked or frozen or whatever, I get to be here! Staying perfectly adorable and chatting with all of you." She winked at the audience, who cheered again.
"Really? Chatting?" Blaineley asked. "Because if you ask me, you haven't been chatting enough."
"Hold on, we're not done with 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark' yet!" Dakota countered with a pout.
"Really?" her cohost asked skeptically. "There's only room for so many clips in each segment, you know."
"Well duh," Dakota said with a dismissive handwave, "obviously. But I just have one left over, and it's a good one." Blaineley crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "I call it, 'Dakota's Mark to Remember'!" the younger woman told the audience as a rocking tune played. "Who's interested?" she asked, receiving cheers in reply as the camera pulled back. Blaineley groaned and put a hand on her forehead, and the widescreen above them cut from the Aftermath logo to static.
xxx
Surprisingly eerie music began along with the clip, which seemed to be located in some secluded corner of the cargo hold. The camera panned across a very complicated looking device consisting of countless different objects taped and tied together that was partially suspended from the ceiling, ultimately leading to an eager-looking Scarlett fiddling with a safe tied to a rope and perched precariously on top of a box.
"That just about does it," she told herself, stepping down from the small stepladder she'd been using and walking over to what appeared to be the blueprints for the device that she'd laid out near a red 'x' on the floor. "With this, I'll finally be free of this accursed collar and will be able to leave this show for good. I just need to double check that everything is positioned exactly according to my calculations, and-"
A bit of turbulence just then shook the room, Scarlett and her device along with it.. "No!" she gasped as the music became tenser, and the safe she'd been adjusting was shown falling off its box and swinging towards her. She gasped again, but couldn't get out of the way before she was struck in the back by the swinging safe – the audience laughed as she fell on the ground, twitching in pain.
The plane shook again, and Scarlett groaned in anticipation just as the rest of her cobbled-together machine came falling apart and landed on her in a heap. The audience laughed again, and the camera focused on her hand as she stuck it out and started to dig herself out.
She was then promptly electrocuted, and the camera quick-panned over to Chris McLean, shaking his head in disapproval and holding his remote control. A triangular green icon appeared in the corner of the screen, which changed to a pair of bars as the video was paused. It was then rewound back to the close-up shot of Scarlett trying to remove the things she'd been buried in.
"Look at her," Dakota said as a red circle was drawn around the brainiac's hopeful face, "she so doesn't know what's coming. And then...," the clip was unpaused and Scarlett was shown getting shocked again, "zap!"
xxx
The scene cut back to the studio as the audience laughed, the camera focusing on Dakota as she leaned over the console on the table in front of her with a stylus in her hand. "Serves her right for trying to wreck the studio last season, am I right?"
She looked up at the camera, but before anyone could react Blaineley leaned over and snatched the stylus away. "Umm, rude!" Dakota said.
"Yeah, I think it's time we finally moved on," the older woman said.
"Fine," Dakota pouted. "I guess we shouldn't keep you all waiting for our second guest any longer."
Blaineley sighed. "Fine, but at least this one should prove interesting." She turned her attention to the audience as a trendy tune began to play. "Our next guest is the super-talented super-jock known for dominating just about everything except Total Drama. Fresh off his quickest loss yet, you know him and love him, Lightning!" The crowd applauded as Blaineley put her hands in the air and a smiling Dakota directed the cameras to the backstage entrance.
Nobody came on-stage.
Blaineley grunted angrily. "Put the backstage feed on the screen!" she demanded to someone off-camera. "And get my agent on the phone!"
/
The camera quick-panned to the backstage hallway where Sam was standing outside the star-marked door. "Dude, Lightning, what's going on?" the gamer asked through the closed door. "I thought you'd be all over this interview after not getting one last season."
"Are you sha-kiddin' me, did you see the way Lightning just got introduced?" the voice of the overachiever came. "Lightning knows he's just gonna get made fun of, and that's not the kind of interview he wants."
Sam sighed. "I won't lie, you're definitely right that they'll try to skewer you," he said. "And not much else, if that job-stealing Blaineley gets her way," he shot a bitter look behind him. "But dude, if you just hold up in the green room they're gonna give it to you worse. Why not just come out now, and keep your dignity?"
"...you're probably right, dude," Lightning said, finally opening the door and stepping out with a sulking expression. "Lightning's just been feeling really weird about doin' this after gettin' booted out third. How can he face all his disappointed fans?"
The scene cut back to the stage where the backstage feed was being aired on the widescreen, and both Blaineley and the audience 'aww'ed.
"Let's bring him out," Blaineley said as the backstage feed faded to black. "It's Lightning!" The snazzy theme played again as the crowd cheered and the camera panned to the stage-right entrance, only for Sam to appear instead of the promised guest.
The cheers abruptly cut off, and Blaineley angrily said "I said Lightning!"
"Yeah, Lightning wants to sing," he told the older hostess in a no-nonsense manner.
"Oh, we'll make him sing-" Blaineley began to say with a chuckle before the gamer cut her off.
"And not your way, either," Sam said harshly. "Lightning is gonna sing his own song on his own terms, and that's final."
Blaineley looked like she was gonna say something angrily, but Dakota cut her off with an excited squeal. "Ooh, I love it! Great call, Sam, I totally approve!" The gamer crossed his arms and shot a mocking smirk at Blaineley, who huffed and looked away just before the studio lights dimmed.
~/~
[The audience cheered as a spotlight was placed on a grand piano, Sasquatchanakwa at the bench playing a slow R&B tune.]
"Back again, on the Aftermath,"
[Lightning began somberly as he walked out from backstage in a tuxedo, holding a microphone.]
"And way too soon, for real,"
[He walked over to the piano, and paused at its side.]
"Last time in third, this time for laughs,"
[He held up three fingers on his right, then swept the hand towards Blaineley who blinked in surprise.]
"Tryin' to ruin my appeal."
[He brought the hand back close to him, balling it into a fist and leaning dramatically over it with his eyes closed]
"They wanna act that since I lost,"
[He shook his head in disapproval.]
"On three seasons of this show,"
[He quickly switched the mic to his other hand, and held up three fingers on his left.]
"That losin's all I'm ever gonna do..."
[He raised his head and placed his free hand over his eyes, then smiled.]
"But don't... they know...?"
[He began to tap his foot and bobbing his head to the beat as it quickly picked up.]
"That I'm Lightning! Sha-pow!"
[The main instrument rapidly switched from piano to a lighter and more synthetic keyboard sound as the lights were turned up again, Lightning slid forward on his knees, and tore off the top half of his tuxedo to reveal what looked like a higher-quality version of the jersey he usually wore, the golden '1' gleaming in the light. As he made his sha-declaration, lightning actually struck the stage on either side of him, surprising the hostesses.]
"Magnificent, and so diligent!"
[Lightning stood up, and Sasquatchanakwa slid forward on his own knees behind the athlete, now playing the keytar.]
"Yeah, Lightning! Sha-bam!"
[He pointed at the camera, then dropped down on one knee to flex his arms as lightning struck the stage once again.]
"Not gonna lose it today!"
[The camera cut to the two women on the center couch, Dakota smiling in excitement and Blaineley looking somewhat lost.]
"You think that Lightning's down-and-out? Sha-you ain't seen a thing;"
[Lightning popped up to Blaineley's left, startling her as he sang in her face.]
"So what if I got voted out? That isn't all I bring!"
[Lightning turned his back on her and walked away, the camera following him as he made his way closer to the Peanut Gallery.]
"These muscles!"
[He flexed his biceps again and kissed one, prompting Beth to say "Ooh!"]
"This game!"
[He hopped to the side and crouched down into a runner's starting position, prompting Amy who was behind him with her gaze locked firmly on his rear end to utter "Ohh...!"]
"Just think about it, it's still the same!"
[He suddenly darted into a forward somersault towards center stage, singing the next line as he came up back on his feet.]
"Ain't gonna fade away so soon, so let me hear my name!"
[He waggled his finger at the audience, then put his hand to his ear and leaned towards them.]
"Uh-huh it's Lightning! Sha-zam!"
[He jerked a thumb towards himself with a cocky smirk. Lightning bolts struck for a third time, no longer phasing Dakota but forcing Blaineley to dodge out of the way.]
"So glo-ri-ous and so gor-ge-ous,"
[He struck a pose with his left arm outstretched and his right arm drawn back, then spun around and motioned over his general physique.]
"Just Lightning! Sha-wow!"
[Blaineley was shown tiptoeing back to her seat, then glaring sternly when she saw Sam had taken it. The gamer grinned sheepishly, then stepped away as lightning struck in front of the camera.]
"Nobody can take that away."
[The brief flash receded to show the shot focused back on the star athlete, who shook his head and waggled a finger again.]
"Not hostess girl, in her messed-up world;"
[The camera rotated slightly to show Blaineley behind Lightning, freezing in place when she saw his pointing a thumb at her.]
"And Amy, babe, you're old news!"
[The viewpoint rotated again, now showing the cheerleader crossing her arms and looking away as her ex-boyfriend turned to look at her.]
"The world ahead is in my hands, and my destiny I'll choose!"
[The shot suddenly cut above him as he raised his free right hand high, grasped at something, then pulled the hand back close to his body with a serious expression.]
"Won't even stop if I lose!"
[He added with an optimistic smile.]
[The music suddenly stopped, and Lightning's expression became serious again.]
"And for real, don't get used to what happened to me on Total Drama, 'cause, that was an exception to my general awesomeness," he said matter-of-factly.
[The music started up again, and Lightning smiled and bobbed his head to the beat a few times before resuming his song.]
"'Cause I'm Lightning! Sha-woo!"
[He sang, tapping his foot and ignoring the bolts that struck down on either side of him.]
"Resilient, 'cause I'm brilliant;"
[He pointed straight at the camera, then at the side of his head.]
"Sha-Lightning! Sha-yeah!"
[He struck his signature bicep-flexing pose, but no lightning struck this time.]
"And I'll never forget how to play!"
[He put his hand on his hips and stood proudly and confidently, and was promptly struck by lightning as the music came to its final beat.]
~/~
The crowd gasped, then cheered and applauded as the smoke began to clear. The camera cut in close to Lightning as he coughed, then smiled and turned around. "Well then, I guess it's time for my interview!" he told them.
Dakota gasped, and Blaineley's eyebrows shot up.
"What?" Lightning asked in confusion, the shot still in a close-up of his face. "Somethin' happen?"
"Umm, yes," Dakota said, handing the athlete a compact.
Lightning caught the compact, then looked in its mirror and whistled in admiration. "Sha-dang," he said as the camera finally zoomed out to show his hair – and the lightning bolt-shaped streak of white that had appeared in it. "That's pretty sweet!"
He snapped the compact closed, tossed it back to Dakota, then took a seat on the guest couch. "Anyway, let's get this sha-over with," he told the two hostesses.
"But first," Blaineley told the camera with a wide smile, "let's watch Lightning's video montage, specially edited by me!" She motioned to herself proudly, then the shot cut to the widescreen as it switched to static and then to the series of clips.
xxx
The montage was set to the same tune used for 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark', and began with Lightning sliding out of the woods with a few bits of leaves and twigs in his clothes, and getting greeted by the glares of his Killer Bass teammates. The second clip showed him getting dragged down the Dock of Shame by Chef Hatchet, the uber-jock looking angry and sullen.
Next was him uselessly flinging flower pots of water over his shoulder on the beach, which was followed by him walking away on the Dock of Shame once more, this time away from the first season's Final Four.
After that was him racing Scarlett while getting mauled by a stray cat, then getting escorted down the Walk of Shame by Chef Hatchet, then getting into the limousine of losers and speeding off.
The final pair of clips were the most recent, showing his decision to lead Team Victory down the right path in the Amazon, then walking blindly into the Drop of Shame the next day.
xxx
The crowd continued to laugh as the scene cut back to the studio, Blaineley smiling up at the widescreen while Dakota gave the annoyed-looking Lightning an uncertain look.
"What do you think?" Blaineley asked the guest. "I think it was a pretty accurate look at what you've accomplished on the show."
"Uhh, all Lightning just saw was a montage of all the times he's gotten kicked off," the overachiever corrected. "Seems to Lightning like you're still just tryin' to make him seem like more of a loser than he really is."
"Huhuh, he's got you there," Sam laughed from the Peanut Gallery, causing Blaineley to roll her eyes in irritation and glare at Dakota when the younger girl giggled.
"Well, you have to admit that you're the only one in the show's history to get voted out four times in three seasons," Blaineley told the uber-jock.
"Oh, Lightning ain't denyin' it," Lightning replied, "but Lightning just thinks you shoulda showed all the times he was cool, too. Give him a fair wrap, y'know?"
"That's not really how things work on this show," Blaineley told him bluntly.
Dakota interrupted with a giggle. "Well, to be fair, I wouldn't mind showing off some your better moments," she told her guest, "but we should probably move on to the next segment."
"And that means it's time for 'Truth or Tractor-Trailer'!" Blaineley announced excitedly, the camera zooming out to focus on a lime green tractor-trailer dangling precariously above Lightning's head.
"Sha-what?" the athlete muttered in shock as the truck made a braking sound.
"Umm, hello?" Dakota spoke up. "Main host here? I don't recall agreeing to that."
"That's because I convinced the producers to do it myself," Blaineley said.
"Yeah, just like you convinced them to give you my job...," Sam muttered bitterly.
"What was that?" the older woman asked sharply, prompting the gamer to avert his gaze. "That's what I thought...," Blaineley said as she turned her attention back to Lightning. "So as I was saying, Lightning, it's time for you to tell us what we wanna know. First question! Which member of Team Victory do you hate the most right now?"
The shot pulled back again to show the swaying tractor-trailer, which Lightning was ignoring as he tapped his chin and thought. "Lightning ain't sure he can answer that," he finally said with a shrug. "He don't really hate any of 'em. He ain't even mad!"
The audience gasped, but the tractor-trailer didn't fall.
"Really?' Blaineley said in disbelief. "Even after they voted you out of the game, you aren't even mad at them? What happened to the Lightning who thought he was the best at everything and that his teammates were all just jealous?"
"Well, gettin' captured by a buncha real Zing-Zings for, like, a day or somethin' gave Lightning time to reflect on why he got eliminated," the uber-jock explained. "Now, Lightning's always demanded that his teammates give him the respect he deserves. But Lightning's never been good at returnin' that respect, see? But after thinkin' about it, Lightning realized that even the people who ain't as strong or fast as him got some stuff goin' for 'em! Take Tyler, for instance. Dude's got like no game whatsoever, but his super strong fingers saved our butts in the Yukon, and that dorky video idea he had won us the Japanese challenge! And while Ezekiel might seem useless, he was helpin' Team Dude figure stuff out from the beginnin'! Lightning thinks that since he didn't recognize their talents, they decided to vote him out. And he really can't blame 'em for it, since he woulda done the same if they'd kept on disrespectin' him!"
"...Seriously?" Blaineley asked, still disbelieving.
"Wow, it's...actually pretty cool to hear you say that!" Dakota said much more happily, looking briefly towards the audience as they cheered and applauded. "I guess that even though you've lost, you still, like, learned something from being on Total Drama."
"Yeah, Lightning guesses he did," the jock said with a thoughtful look. "Losin' so much has forced Lightning to accept the he is not the unstoppable juggernaut he thought he was. And since some of the losses were his fault, he can learn from his mistakes and, uh, grow as a person and stuff."
"And what about your other losses, hmm?" Blaineley asked dryly, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance.
"Oh, well, the first one was because Scott hit Lightning on the head when his back was turned," Lightning explained with a point to the back of his head, "and the one last season was because of that dang cat gettin' in Lightning's face. None of that was Lightning's fault."
"So, you think you'd have done better in those seasons without those things happening to you?" Blaineley asked hopefully.
"Well yeah," Lightning answered before becoming thoughtful again. "Well, uh, last season anyway. Lightning woulda won the whole thing if it hadn't been for that cat. But instead, that cheater Scarlett got lucky."
"Now we're getting somewhere," Blaineley said softly in a tone that caused Dakota to raise an eyebrow. "Ever since the end of Total Drama Action," she told the camera, "fans have been speculating about who really would have won had it not been for Scarlett's cheating ways. And with the other two members of last season's Final Three here today," Jo was shown reacting with surprise as the audience cheered and a trendy beat started up, "I'm proud to finally give that question an answer in our biggest, baddest, newest segment ever, Total Smackdown!"
"Whoa whoa whoa," Jo interrupted, causing the energetic background music to screech to a halt. "Don't drag me into this, I already won last season."
"What, afraid that Lightning will take the title away from you?" Blaineley asked impishly.
"Hey, I can take Lightning on any time, any day," Jo shot back.
"Sha-as if," Lightning replied. "Lightning woulda beaten you no sweat if it hadn't been for Scarlett!"
"Oh yeah?" Jo said, standing up in her seat.
"Yeah!" Lightning responded, standing up as well.
"Well then," Blaineley said excitedly, "why don't you two prove it by stepping into the ring just over there." She motioned to stage-right and the camera quick-panned over to a boxing ring set up nearby.
"Wait, why boxing?" Lightning said skeptically as the shot cut back to him. "Shouldn't we be doin' somethin' more like the final challenge from last season?"
"Yeah, just wailing on each other won't prove who would've won had it not been for Scarlett," Jo added.
"Yes it will!" Blaineley said quickly. "Besides, don't you two wanna settle the rivalry you've had since season one?"
The camera pulled back as Lightning and Jo shared a look of disbelief and Blaineley stared blankly from one to the other.
"Settle?" Jo repeated. "What needs to be settled?"
"Yeah, Lightning'll go head to head with Jo anytime, and he expects her to do the same! There ain't no competition that can settle that," Lightning added.
"But...then...don't you at least have some kind of grudge you wanna settle?" Blaineley asked, growing frantic. "The triathlon from season one? The slam dunk challenge from last season? Anything?!"
Lightning and Jo shared another look. "Sha-nope," Lightning said at the same time Jo said "Not really."
"Y-you're not gonna fight?" Blaineley asked in rising panic as the two athletes sat back down. "And you're not even mad at anyone? What is wrong with all of you, this is Total Drama, not Total Everybody's Fine With Each Other!"
"Sorry Blaineley," Dakota told her cohost, putting a sympathetic hand on the older woman's shoulder, "but you can't really force these things."
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Blaineley said, slapping her hand away in outrage and standing up. "I am the star of this show, okay? Me! I decided to take over as host to save this pathetic show from you amateurs, and this is the thanks I get? Not one of you has been the least bit entertaining!"
"Really?" Dakota asked with a wary look. "Because I think we've been doing totally great. Isn't that right?" She turned to the audience, and they responded with another round of cheering.
"Hey, maybe you're just not cut out for this?" Sam heckled from the Peanut Gallery.
"Not cut out for this?" Blaineley growled, fuming with anger. "I'm too good for this stupid show!" With another growl she picked up a small television set and threw it down on the stage, smashing it. The shot cut back to her now in center-stage as she picked up a chair and flung it away in rage, and a pair of male interns was shown approaching her from either side. They grabbed her by the arms as she continued to mutter hatefully, kicking the black one between the legs and punching the white one in the face. The two men were unphased, however, and began to lead her towards the backstage exit.
"They better give me my old job back," she said angrily. "I'm never doing this show again! Never ever!"
The crowd went wild as she finally disappeared behind the backstage curtain with one last half cry of "And don't for-" that was never quite finished as the camera panned back to the host's couch where Dakota quickly recovered from her shock to smile for the audience.
"Ooh, now that was dramatic," she said excitedly.
"Huhuh, totally!" Sam added as he slid into the seat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I guess Blaineley decided to provide the 'entertainment' herself."
Daktoa giggled, then said to the camera "Tune in next time, because the action and excitement has only just begun..."
"On Total," Sam added, raising his left hand out towards the audience.
"Drama," Dakota continued, raising her right hand.
"Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" the pair sang together as the same blaring and dramatic tune from the main series played. The crowd went even wilder, and the odd couple began to make-out.
(Fade to Credits)
Author's Note - Post Script
I'll be honest: in the re-read, I'm not entirely sure this was as good as it could have been. It is, in many ways, too similar to the canon Aftermath; probably as a result of me just wanting to get it over with. That's not to say the chapter doesn't have it's merits, though - I enjoyed trying to showcase the tension between Blaineley, Dakota, and Sam, though I think it could have been smoother. Also, just writing the non-competitors again was nice.
The two songs, 'Beardo's Rap' and 'Sha-Lightning' (both terribly uncreative titles, I know) are...not as good as I'd hoped. Again, I think they suffer from me trying to make them too much like their canon counterparts...and also, they're kind of too similar to each other. My apologies if they're cringeworthy.
That aside, this chapter basically wraps up Beardo and Lightning for the season, having Beardo being annoyed but accepting that he's been screwed again and Lightning actually getting some character development that I hope didn't seem either out-of-place or too sudden or too late.
Then again, perhaps all my doubts and criticisms are just in my slightly aching head. Let me know what you all think, and what you're looking forward to in the second quarter of the season!
- Fangren
Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants
Staci - (17th Place)
Beardo - (16th Place)
Lightning - (15th Place)
Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)