A/N: I love reviews, and take what you say seriously. It helps when a review points out something in the story that honestly wasn't my intention. Thanks cab60...

Chapter 6 From one sub to another...

Dean stared at the ceiling as Castiel and Sam left to go get something to eat. He wondered if he would actually have a few minutes alone. Castiel hadn't left his room since the incident. How embarrassing...Dean had heard of stuff like that happening when soul mates find each other for the first time, but he figured it was some romanticized notion that people had played up in fairy tales. Stuff like that just didn't happen in real life. Or so he freaking thought.

He guessed he could be thankful that no one was around when it happened. Or that it didn't happen in public. A shudder ran through Dean at that thought. He felt sorry for soul mates that had that happen in public. Sometimes Dean wondered what God was thinking when he designed...well, everything. Couldn't He have made things just a little less complicated. And less embarrassing.

Thank heavens that Missouri had left the room!

Dean wondered if the anxiety medicine was already working because a couple of days ago he would have been in a full out panic destroying the room if this had happened. He still felt the anxiety, but at least he wasn't freaking out...well, outwardly. He was just having an internal freak-out. He knew the meds had to be helping some, but wondered if they worked that quickly. Maybe it was a placebo effect?

Or it could be the bond with Castiel.

Yeah, he guessed it could be that. Castiel had been nothing but nice to him. Castiel had done everything possible to make Dean comfortable the last couple of days. Dean could feel his distrust wavering and it pissed him off because he knew that eventually Castiel would show his true colors. Dean would just rather be prepared for that when it happened instead of blindsided.

Dean looked toward the door when he heard it open. He saw the woman that he considered to be his aunt walk through the door. She had a bag with her that smelled great, and Dean grinned when she handed it to him.

"I brought you some lunch. I let Castiel know so he wouldn't grab you something while he was out." Ellen said as she sat down in the chair beside Dean's bed.

"Thanks, Ellen." He opened the bag and pulled out a burger from The Roadhouse. It smelled heavenly.

"How are you, Dean?"

"Um...ok. I guess." Dean spoke around a mouthful of burger. He grabbed the drink that Ellen brought him and took a few gulps of that to wash it down.

"Boy, you can't lie to me. I know better. Now tell me what is really goin' on in that head of yours." Ellen always was straight to the point. She wasn't the stereotypical sub at all. Of course, her relationship with Bobby was special. Bobby was gruff, but so was she. Bobby took care of her, but she took care of him as well. They just worked, and they respected each other. It was like they knew what the other was thinking and how the other felt without having to even ask. Now if that wasn't some fairy tale crap...

"I don't really know what to say..."

"Bull shit, Dean Winchester. Now, I know you aren't the greatest with feelings...never have been...but I know you. You need to talk to someone or else you are going to go crazy in that head of yours." Dean blushed because Ellen was right. He wasn't good expressing his feelings. Especially now.

"I can't talk about what happened..." Dean pleaded with his eyes for her to understand.

"Ok. So you don't have to tell me what happened. I respect that. How about we talk about Castiel?"

"What about him?" Dean took a huge bite of his burger.

"What do you think about him?" Dean chewed as he tried to think of a suitable answer that she would accept. After gulping down his bite, he replied.

"He is nice."

"He is nice." Ellen deadpanned.

"Yep."

"Dean, you just eat your burger while I talk for a few minutes." Dean stared at Ellen in shock because that was the voice she had when she was about to give Jo a piece of her mind. It was her mama voice and Dean and Sam had been on the receiving end of that voice several times in the past. Which, yeah, the past was something Dean was actively trying to avoid thinking about at the moment. He took another bite of his burger and stuffed a fry in his mouth as he watched Ellen as she geared up for whatever she was about to say.

"Now, I know you have been through some shit. Some really awful shit, because I ain't blind. I see how you have been since you been back. I...I hate that you felt that you had to leave because Bobby and I would have done everything in our power to help out both of you boys. Hell, you both are like my own as much as Joanna Beth is. Bobby feels the same about you boys as he does Jo. None you may be his biological kids, but he still feels like he is the father that all three of you should have had. Now, I know for a fact that he feels that he has failed you. Hell, we all feel that way." She held up her hand to stop Dean from saying anything when he began to shake his head. "We do. We can't change the past. Neither can you. It sucks. I understand that, but...you can't hold every Dom responsible for whatever that douchebag Michael did to you during the time you were with him. I don't know Castiel all that well, but from what I have witnessed the last couple of days I would say that the man is going to be completely devoted to you and to makin' you happy."

"For now." Dean said petulantly.

"What do you mean 'For now'?"

Dean wished he had never said anything. He didn't want to talk about this. "Ellen, please. Don't make me talk about this."

"Dean, you won't talk to Sam or Bobby. You won't talk to Missouri...and you barely talk to Castiel. So, now you have me. Listen, I thought it might be easier for you to open up to another sub. You know? If not me, then maybe Jo?"

Dean shook his head. "She would be as bad as Sam...she is too much like a sister. But then again you are like my mom so..."

"So you feel like you can't talk to anyone."

"Whatever I tell you, Bobby or Sam will just demand that you tell them what I said." Dean winced when he seen the look of outrage come across her face.

"Dean, you listen to me and you listen good. Whatever you say here stays between us. Bobby may be my Dom, but I have a mind of my own. He may ask me what we have talked about, but I can one hundred percent guarantee you that when I tell that man that I can't tell him because that would be breaking your confidence and that I would rather be punished than break your trust like that, he will respect it. He won't demand I tell him anything. I would never betray you that way. Unless you told me something like...I don't know...you were planning to hurt yourself or kill yourself. Then I would have to say something, but I would never tell anyone anything you tell me in confidence."

"I believe you...but...um...whatifyouarewrong?" Dean rushed out.

"What if I am wrong? About what?" Ellen was obviously confused.

"What if...they make you anyway because they are Dom's. Dom's are the ones in...control. You won't have any choice but to tell him." Dean couldn't even look at Ellen as he spoke. He knew that he was giving away too much, but...he knew she was right. If he continued to let this crap fester in his mind, he would go crazy. Like bat-shit, throwing crap around the room again, crazy.

"No choice but to tell him?" Ellen all but whispered as she looked at him quizzically. Dean could visibly tell when Ellen understood more than he wanted her to, and he suddenly wished that he had kept his mouth shut.

"Oh, hon. I would never tell him what you tell me in confidence. He would never make me either. You think that being a sub means no choice? Michael was the exception...not the rule. I don't know what all happened to you, but I can tell you that it wasn't the norm."

Dean thought for a minute about what she was saying, and even if it was true something was still bothering him. "I never see you argue."

"Dean, just because you never see us argue doesn't mean that we don't." Ellen sighed as she contemplated how to best explain. "We do argue sometimes, but out of respect for him and our relationship we don't disagree in front of others. While a Dom protects and provides for their sub, a sub also provides and protects their Dom. We just do it in different ways. Both dynamics have their strengths and weaknesses."

Dean looked at her as he took in what she said. "What in the world is a Dom's weakness?"

Ellen just smiled as she answered. "Dean, you will always be each other's weakness, but you will also be each other strength. That is the beauty of how the relationships between the two dynamics work, especially in a bonded relationship." She leaned forward for the next part. "Now, if you don't remember anything else remember this...you have the power to build your Dom up and you have the power to tear that Dom down...and likewise. Choose to build each other up. Choose to talk to Castiel. Choose to get to know him. You have a choice. The choices before you may be A, B or C, and sometimes we want to choose D, none of the above. In the end, you still have a choice. You just have to reorder your thinking a bit. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"You are trying to tell me that I have a choice, even if the options aren't there that I wanted, I still get some choices. I just have to look at it differently." Dean spoke quietly to his hands as they played with the blanket over his lap.

"Exactly! Dean, get to know Castiel. I am positive that he would follow you to heaven or the depths of hell to make you happy." Ellen was grinning at him proudly.

Dean whispered. "I will try."

"That is my boy. Anytime you need to talk, you let me know. Well, I am going to go let Joanna Beth in now. She was waiting for us to talk for a bit before coming in."

Dean really wanted some time alone to reflect on his conversation with Ellen, but he also thought that it would be nice to see Jo. He hasn't really talked to her much since he came home. He really hadn't talked to anyone much. Ellen hugged him. "Think about what I said. I will talk to you soon." She kissed his forehead and headed out of his room. Dean took in a deep breath as he found himself alone for a couple of minutes. He thought about the conversation with Ellen. He trusted very few people in his life. He trusted Sam with his life. Same for Bobby and Ellen. They were like parents to him. Jo was like a sister so he trusted her. Or at least he thought that he did. Things were so different now. He was different now. He didn't even know how to be himself anymore. He wasn't even sure if he knew who he was now. He couldn't understand why it was so difficult to just fall back into the before-Michael-Dean.

He heard the door open and watched as Jo peeked her head around the door. He smiled at her because he really was genuinely happy to see her. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. She looked like she had tears in her eyes, but he didn't comment. He knew she wouldn't appreciate it. "Hi, Dean! How are you?"

"I'm ok." When she looked at him with a look that only a sister could give he added..."I am doing better than I was."

"Well, when you get out I want us to spend a day together. Remember when we used to go play paint ball?" He realized in that moment how much he missed Jo.

"Yeah. Those were fun times, weren't they?"

"Yep. You need to come out to The Roadhouse and play some pool and darts. Sam and I play quite often, but I always loved watching you play. Remember how we used to joke around about driving across the country hustling people in pool and darts to make money as we just traveled from one town to the next?" Jo's grin was contagious.

"Yeah, but now that we both are subs we can't do that." Dean's grin faded.

"Oh, Dean. We all had dreams. Doesn't mean that we can't still take our Dom's out on the open road and have a little fun." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know if Castiel would enjoy something like that...Would Benny? I guess he would. He used to joke around with us about it." Dean was staring at the ceiling as he thought back to simpler times when he was sure he was going to present as a Dom.

"I think Benny would be up for that. He said he was going to come by later. He has missed his best friend, Dean." Jo's voice was soft as she spoke. "He tried looking for you after you left, but it was like you had just disappeared." She nodded when Dean turned to her with his eyebrows high on his forehead like a silent 'really?'

"I know you felt you needed to go and all, but I just wanted to let you know that we all missed you."

"I know. I can tell...and I am glad I came back. But...being home. Being back here. It is just hard. I don't feel like...well, I remember how I was, you know? And I am different now. I feel like everyone is expecting me to be that person and...I don't know how to be that person anymore, Jo. I don't know if I will ever be able to be that person again and...and...I...feel like I am letting everyone down because. Of...that." Dean was looking out the window again. He thought about how he was talking to Jo and..."Huh.." He turned and looked at Jo. "I told your mom that I didn't want to open up to you because you were like my sister...and here I am word vomiting all this crap to you." He smiled as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on his pillow.

Jo had tears in her eyes again and her voice sounded watery when she spoke after clearing her throat. "Dean, we all love you. I love you. You...are like my big brother. You were...are...my best friend. It doesn't matter to me what dynamic you are, that will never change. You, me, and Benny were inseparable and after you left, it was so hard. Benny and I just want to help you. And so what if you aren't the same. None of us are. We all change, and that is ok. Ok?"

"Yeah, Jo." Dean hated that his eyes were watery too. Like couldn't he get through a freaking day without having waterworks?

"I don't think you actually get it yet, Dean, but you will in time. We don't have to know the details of what happened, but we all know that what happened shaped who you are and we love you regardless." Dean just nodded. If he spoke he would probably ball like a baby, and he was trying to hold it together.

"So how exactly did you and Benny end up together?" Dean wanted to change the subject, and was grateful when Jo let him.

"Well, as you know Benny's birthday was right before yours so we all knew that he was a Dom. We understood that was hard for you knowing that your best friend was a Dom when you presented as a sub. After you left town, it was just Benny and me. We...comforted each other I guess. Then I had my birthday, and no surprise that I presented as a sub. I pretty much knew that I would. The first time Benny came over after I presented...well, let's just say he grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug that traumatized my mom and Bobby." She turned fifty shades of red. Hell, Dean turned fifty shades of red in embarrassment sympathy because after his display with Castiel he could just imagine how embarrassing it was for Jo to do that in front of parents! HOLY COW!

"Yep. So, even though I wasn't of age yet...the bond didn't care about age. The bond was there so...we have been together ever since." Jo grinned as she finished even though she was still flushed.

"I'm glad you have someone that you knew. That you have history with. You know, not a stranger." Dean was happy for them.

"Ok. It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, Dean. We may have had history and knew each other but we had a difficult time at first because we were best friends turned soul mates. It wasn't an easy transition. I know that they say everything is awesome once you find your soul mate, and for the most part it was great. It was just little things that suddenly changed. Like...his protectiveness. And at time possessiveness. There were times I just wanted to hang out like we used to, but he would get jealous if someone wanted to play pool with me. Little stuff like that. You know, that wasn't a big deal before, but suddenly there was a bond there. So, yeah. It took some getting used to but we worked it out." Jo grabbed Dean's hand. "You and Castiel will work things out too. Eventually. No, you will. You think not having history is a bad thing, but I think it may be a good thing. He didn't know you before, Dean. He has no expectations...and I am sorry if the rest of us didn't realize that we were expecting you to be the same." Jo looked like she was ashamed.

"Thanks, Jo. I am glad that you came by...and talked to me. Would you mind coming by again soon? Um...I think I may get to go home tomorrow. They were waiting on the meds to stabilize me...or Castiel to work magic or something." Dean was sure that he looked hopeful and tried not to appear desperate.

Jo hugged him. "Of course. You ain't getting rid of me so easy."

XXXXX

Dean felt better after Jo left. He knew Castiel was going to be back soon. He knew the Dom wouldn't leave him alone for long, but Dean was thankful to have a few minutes to himself so he could think about his conversations with Ellen and Jo. Surprisingly, he opened up to Jo in a way that he hadn't thought possible. She really was like his sister, and he smiled as he thought about her and Benny together. They were perfect for each other really. Who would have thought that his sister and his best friend would be soul mates...hey, that definitely made Benny family now.

He felt better, which was probably a combination of the meds, his visits with Ellen and Jo, and as much as it pained him to say...his bond with Castiel. The Dom was nothing but nice and went out of his way to make Dean happy and comfortable. They sat in silence most of the time, and at times the silence was awkward. Maybe it was time for Dean and Cas to get to know each other. Cas? Yeah. That suited the Dom.

Dean fell into a peaceful sleep with a small smile on his face.

A/N: Whew! A chapter in one day...I haven't edited it so I may edit it later if it needs it, but I loved the chapter so much that I couldn't wait to share it with you guys. :)