Author's Note:-
Sorry this chapter is a little late, but I was waiting for the missing review issue to be solved before I uploaded it. Anyway, this chapter is more focused on Frieza's gang than I originally planned, but it felt necessary, so... I hope it reads well :) Please R&R!

King Piccolo took off his shoes and sat on his bed. He rolled his gi down to his waist and loosened his belt, then waited for Frikiza to follow him into the room. She did within seconds, and King Piccolo was delighted to see her in her final form. It was currently his favourite!
"That's more like it." King Piccolo smirked. "Now, come here."
"No." Frikiza snarled, her scarlet eyes glowing. She seemed angry… Why ever could that be?
"Oh, would you like me to chase you?" King Piccolo purred. "Of course, my dear." He looked at her lustfully and uttered a low, animalistic growl, then leapt off the bed.

King Piccolo attempted to advance on Frikiza, but a sudden burst of energy from her pushed him back onto the bed.
"Stay away from me!" Frikiza screamed. "I wouldn't touch you if my life depended on it!"
"You mean your three weeks of life?" King Piccolo sniped, causing Frikiza to become even more enraged.
"Fuck you!" She wailed, and her ki shot up so wildly it made the cave shake. King Piccolo gasped when he saw parts of the ceiling falling down around him, and deep cracks forming in the walls. At this rate she was going to bury them!
"Frikiza!" King Piccolo cried. "What are you doing! Calm down!"
"Calm down? Calm down!" Frikiza shrieked.

She approached King Piccolo slowly, glaring at him with such ferocity it actually scared him a little. He'd never seen Frikiza like this before. He'd seen her angry many times – she'd yelled at him and tied him up and fired ki blasts at him and insulted him… But she had never looked like this. She had never been this angry; she had never been this deadly. She looked like she was actually going to erase him. She wouldn't do that, would she? She couldn't… She was his counsellor! "How can I calm down!" Frikiza yelled. "Piccolo – how long have I been your counsellor? How long have I been in a relationship with you? I have been your – your – fling for over a month! I gave you a chance to go to Earth, I reunited you with your son, I slept in your bed day in day out, and I gave you a bed – if it wasn't for me you'd be sleeping on the floor! And I let you stay in my house and I watched movies with you and I made your children happier and now – now I'm telling you that I'm going to die in three weeks and you don't even care? Why the hell would I calm down! I'm going to kill you!"

King Piccolo looked at Frikiza, and he was suddenly taken aback by the sight of something in her eyes. It didn't seem to fit her mood… She was angry. Obviously, she was angry. Her aura was so powerful it could make the cave collapse at any moment; her fists were clenched; her jaw was locked; her ki was flaring and her eyes were burning… but something was wrong. Her eyes… They were glistening. There was liquid in them – not a lot, but still… She was crying. Was she… upset? Why? Why did she care what he thought of her? She had no reason to care – she was not his girlfriend!
"Frikiza." King Piccolo uttered. "You're wrong."

Frikiza's aura softened, and she powered down slightly, enough to stop the ceiling collapsing at least. She studied King Piccolo, trying to decipher what he meant. So what was she supposed to be wrong about? … The fact that he didn't care about her…? Oh… Yes! Yes, she knew it! He did care about her! He was just trying to act tough in front of his children! How cute!
"Piccolo…" Frikiza uttered softly. She smiled a little, and wiped her eyes. "… Am I?"
"Yes." King Piccolo answered. He leaned towards her onto all fours and placed his palm on her face, softly grazing his claws against her cheek until Frikiza's smile grew. He studied her smile, slightly repulsed by how easily it had formed. How pathetic… She was so easily captured. The fool. King Piccolo narrowed his eyes at Frikiza and growled, "We are not in a relationship."
"What!" Frikiza yelled.

She powered up again and violently pushed his hand off her face. "What do you mean!"
"You aren't my girlfriend!" King Piccolo snarled. "Why should I care about you? You are nothing to me!"
"I – I can't believe you're saying this!" Frikiza wailed, throwing her palms onto her head in frustration. "Are you serious, Piccolo? Do you really not care about me at all?"
"No!" King Piccolo barked. "And you shouldn't care about me either."
"Yeah well I do!" Frikiza yelled. "I care about you a lot!"
"Well then, more fool you." King Piccolo grunted.
"Yeah – obviously!" Frikiza screamed, her ki flaring up again.

She took a breath in an attempt to calm herself and closed her eyes, scrunching them shut so tight her tears could barely even escape. "Oh my God… This is pathetic." Frikiza growled, her face twisting in anger. "I can't believe it. You don't care about me at all, and I… I actually love you."
"What?" King Piccolo choked.

He stared at her in disbelief, his eyes widening. Love…? She… She loved him? … Oh, bullshit! What the hell was she talking about? She didn't love him, she was just being dramatic! And if she thought he was going to believe that obvious lie, she was taking him for a fool! How dare she! "Shut up." King Piccolo snarled. "Don't insult me, Frikiza. Even someone as weak and pathetic as you wouldn't be soft enough to fall in love with me."
"Is that so…?" Frikiza mumbled, opening her eyes to look at him. "What, you don't think you deserve to be loved?"
"Don't start that crap!" King Piccolo barked, instantly becoming enraged at the smell of Frikiza's pity. Why did she always pity him? He didn't need her pity! "Stop feeling sorry for me!" King Piccolo ordered. "I am not a victim. I'm not some charity case – how many times do I need to tell you, I'm evil because I was born to be evil! And I like it!"
"You don't have to be evil." Frikiza argued.
"Well I want to be!" King Piccolo yelled. "And that is not going to change – and especially not for the likes of you!"

Frikiza gasped as King Piccolo threw his hand around her throat and yanked her towards him, squeezing her so tightly he almost broke her neck. He snarled into her face, bearing his teeth fiercely and glaring at her furiously as he hissed, "And if you really were foolish enough to fall in love with me, all you've done is waste your time because I do not love you Frikiza, and I never will. Do you understand?"
"Get off me!" Frikiza growled, yanking his hand away. She took a step back and looked at him angrily. "This is exactly why I never told you! I knew you'd get all defensive about it."
"Defensive? I am not being defensive!" King Piccolo roared. Oh, she was really pushing it. How dare she accuse him of being defensive! She was the one in love! She was the one that was a fool; she was the one that was going to die in three weeks, having spent the last couple of months of her life loving someone who didn't care a bag of beans for her! If anyone had any reason to be defensive, it was Frikiza! How dare she tell him, the Demon King Piccolo that she loved him! What an insult! What was it, a last ditch effort to make him show some sort of sympathy for her? Ha! He wasn't falling for that. No way! "I don't love you." King Piccolo snarled. "And I can't love – so you're wasting your time trying to make me!"
"I'm not trying to make you." Frikiza sighed. "And I think you can."
"I can't!" King Piccolo boomed. Was she really this stupid? He was the Demon King Piccolo; he was pure evil! Of course he wasn't capable of love!
"Fine, whatever." Frikiza growled. "If you haven't learnt that by now, you won't learn it in three weeks." Her face softened slightly, and she sat on the bed next to him, causing King Piccolo to move away from her in anger. Frikiza rolled her eyes and let out an angry sigh. "I shouldn't have told you." She muttered. She paused for a moment, then she seemed to calm down a little. Good. King Piccolo grunted. Perhaps now she would stop this pathetic charade before he really lost his temper. "I'm sorry…" Frikiza mumbled. "I know we aren't a couple, and that's fine by me. I just… couldn't help it. It's not like I tried to."

King Piccolo stared at Frikiza in confusion, trying to figure her out. She seemed sincere… She didn't seem like she was trying to get a reaction from him, or manipulate him in some way. … So why was she telling him this? If she really meant it – what was her purpose? He wouldn't say anything that would make her feel any better – he couldn't even if he tried! So… what was the point?
"Why are you saying this?" King Piccolo demanded. "We're just having sex. Why are you bringing emotion into it?"
"I didn't mean to." Frikiza replied, almost laughing. "It just came out. I'm sorry. Sometimes I say things without thinking… or without caring how people will react." She looked over her shoulder at him and smirked a little. "I guess I'm like you in that way."
"No you aren't. I always think." King Piccolo growled. "I just never care."
"You don't need to tell me that." Frikiza replied.

King Piccolo studied her again. Hm… So it had just come out, had it? She'd been keeping it a secret for so long, and all of a sudden in the midst anger she'd decided to say whatever the hell she wanted. … Well. In that case, if it was something she'd wanted to say all along then why had she even kept it a secret? Did she think it would annoy him? Well, it did… But only because he didn't know how to react to it. What was he supposed to say? What did she want him to say? Unless she wanted him to lie, he couldn't possibly say anything that would make her happy. If anything he would make her even more upset than she already was. … Oh, so what? So what if she upset her? It wasn't like he cared for her, after all. Not at all!
"I don't love you." King Piccolo stated.
"I know." Frikiza shrugged. "I don't expect you to. It would be weird."
"I don't care for you, either." King Piccolo said.
"Well… I wish that was different." Frikiza mumbled. She sighed. "But, I guess you don't have to. You're right, we aren't a couple. It's just sex. We shouldn't bring emotion into it…" She lowered her eyes and blinked, stopping herself from crying again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been annoyed. You don't need to care about me."
"Frikiza." King Piccolo frowned. "You are delusional."
"Delusional?" Frikiza repeated, and looked at him in annoyance. "What do you mean?"
"I am pure evil." King Piccolo said, and narrowed his eyes at her. "Try to get it into your small, misguided brain would you? I am everything that was bad about Kami. Kami gathered all the evil in his heart and expelled it into another being – that being was me. I can be angry, and sadistic, and evil – and I can feel happy at other people's expense, but I don't love and I don't care – and you're delusional for thinking that I can."
"Well… maybe you're the delusional one." Frikiza replied. "Piccolo, I know exactly how you were created. You're right, Kami expelled all the evil from himself, and that evil was you. I'm not saying you aren't a jerk, because you are." She smirked a little. "You're arrogant, and selfish, and rude and aggressive, and you have evil ambitions and a sick sense of humour – stop smirking!" She barked, suddenly frowning when she saw an arrogant smirk form on King Piccolo's lips as she listed all the terrible traits about him.
"Sorry." King Piccolo sniggered. Oh, she knew him so well. She really was a fool for loving him – who the hell fell in love with someone they knew was pure evil? It didn't make sense! She didn't even like him, she'd just said he was a jerk! Ridiculous.
"No you're not." Frikiza growled. "… But you aren't pure evil."
"Frikiza, I –"
"I know, I know." Frikiza interrupted King Piccolo. "You're everything that was evil in Kami – I believe that. I believe that when Kami created you he did it by expelling all the bad in his body." She smiled slightly. "But… I also think that when he expelled the evil, a little good went with it as well."

King Piccolo paused, and glared at her. Wrong… she was completely wrong! There was no good in him! Kami expelled the evil in his body to form King Piccolo – and only the evil! No good came with it, none at all! She was a fool. Is that why she loved him? Because she believed in this tiny bit of good that didn't even exist? Tch. How pathetic. King Piccolo would laugh if he didn't think it was so tragic.
"You're wrong." He stated flatly.
"Well…" Frikiza mumbled. "I guess we'll see. In three weeks I won't have to worry about it anyway."
"No, you won't." King Piccolo growled. Damn right – and good riddance! He didn't need someone like her in his life. He didn't need someone so wrong and delusional, someone so bossy and whiny, someone so sickeningly sweet and good-natured… Why was he even fucking her? She was awful! He would be glad when she was gone. He didn't even like her – he never had and he never would. Three weeks couldn't come soon enough. Three weeks, and all his problems would be over. He could go back to being evil without her nagging him to be nicer. He could go back to watching Junior all day, and ruling over his minions with ferocity and malice – and there would be nobody there to make a scene or attack him or yell at him so much it gave him earache. She would be gone. Forever. … … Good riddance.
"Anyway…" Frikiza said, and stood up. "I think I'm going to go to my house. You can come by later if you want. Just give me a couple of hours to myself."
"I'll give you one hour." King Piccolo growled. "And you'd better still be in that form."
"Or else what?" Frikiza shrugged. "It's not like you're strong enough to do anything about it."
"Bitch!" King Piccolo roared, his ki immediately skyrocketing. "You'll pay for that!"
"Do your worst." Frikiza sniped, and left the room before he could respond.

XXXXX

"Oh come on." Cell groaned from the lounge room of Frieza's cave. He was lying across the sofa in front of the TV, while Frieza sat in a chair on the other side of the room, refusing to look at him. Frieza was covered in cuts and bruises from his unsuccessful argument with Cell, and his tail was broken. He refused to get it treated, though. He was too busy sulking. "I didn't hurt you that much." Cell protested. Frieza remained silent, refusing to acknowledge that Cell had even spoken.
"Leave it, Cell." Zarbon snarled. "You've done enough damage."
"Oh shut up, Pretty Boy, who asked you?" Cell spat. He looked over at Frieza and let out a sigh. "Listen – you know you can't insult my kids, and you did start it."
"Me!" Frieza yelled, suddenly turning to him. "You were the one that said Dodoria was justified in –" He stopped when he saw a look of satisfaction creeping onto Cell's face. The bastard! He'd tricked Frieza into talking! "Jerk." Frieza pouted, and turned away.
"Well you said I was a bad parent – that's way worse than what I said." Cell insisted. "I had to teach you a lesson, and it was you that threw the first punch."
"A tail attack isn't a punch." Frieza growled. "A punch is something you do with your hands, Cell. Didn't Dr. Gero program language into you when he made you 'perfect'?"
"He did." Cell sniped. "But he didn't teach me the specific word for 'tail attack'."
"There isn't one!" Frieza snapped.
"Oh." Cell said with a smirk. "So 'punch' will have to do, won't it?"
"Shut up." Frieza hissed.
"Listen, Guys…" Dodoria began. "You can fight as much as you want, but the kids'll be home soon. Shouldn't you try to make up before they get here? It's not good to argue around children."
"Hm?" Cell uttered, considering the notion.

Frieza simply grunted and looked away. Whatever. Those little brats were already a lost cause, one measly argument wouldn't do them any harm. Frieza never grew up in a happy home anyway. "So what if they see us fighting?" Cell shrugged, looking at Dodoria. "They were born to fight – I created them to kill people."
"But killing their enemies and seeing their own father fight is a completely different thing." Dodoria reasoned. "If they sense something's wrong with you, it'll scare them."
"Oh, shut up Dodoria." Frieza spat. "I've never heard such nonsense. When I was a child I saw my father beat my mother – and then he would beat Coola and myself, and it never did me any harm. There were always arguments in my home."
"Mm." Zarbon nodded. "And look at Vegeta – his father was never happy and he turned out alright. … Mostly." He looked at Dodoria. "And take Goku – he had a perfect loving childhood and he turned into a violent murderer."
"And uneducated." Frieza added.
"And he's a deadbeat father." Zarbon said.

Cell stared up at the ceiling, frowning in confusion.
"So how are you supposed to raise children…? Are you supposed to let them see violence or not?"
"Cell, it isn't rocket science." Frieza sighed. "Just don't change your life for them – and don't let them dictate to you what happens. If you want them to fight, make them fight. If you want to argue with someone, argue with them. If you want to kill someone, kill them. Don't let your children get in the way of your business – you are the superior being, and it's up to your children to do as you say, not the other way round."
"I suppose…" Cell sighed. He looked over at Frieza, and smirked slightly. "You have a talent for this, Frieza. Perhaps you should open a crèche."
"Oh, shut up." Frieza scolded. "It's easy if you aren't afraid to discipline them – you wouldn't think twice about striking an adult slave, Cell, and yet an adult doesn't need to learn."
"Yeah…" Cell mumbled. Maybe Frieza was right. Maybe Cell was too soft on them… The kids weren't weaklings – they were more powerful than Frieza, and yet they obeyed Frieza so much more than they did Cell. Perhaps they really did respond to his sternness…

Cell looked over at Frieza, and his cheeks darkened slightly as he studied the icejin's wounds. Wow, he'd really gone crazy with Frieza, hadn't he? He should do that to the kids, then maybe they would show their father the same respect they showed Frieza. "… Sorry." Cell uttered. "Come here – let me fix your tail."
"It's fine." Frieza hissed. Cell smirked, and then used his energy to yank Frieza towards him, causing the icejin to cry out. "Hey!" Frieza barked as he landed on top of Cell. "What are you doing! I said no!"
"You say a lot of stuff." Cell replied, and grabbed hold of Frieza's tail. Frieza snarled, then screamed as an almighty pain flooded him as Cell pushed his tail bones back together.
"Stop it!" Frieza yelled. "Stop, you're making it worse –" He stopped suddenly, and became annoyed when his tail actually felt better. Bastard…
"Well?" Cell uttered, looking at Frieza with an arrogant smirk.
"… It healed on its own." Frieza growled.
"Of course." Cell sneered.

He stroked the icejin's head, then put his arm around Frieza to pull him closer. "Can you stop sulking now?" Cell asked.
"Hmph!" Frieza pouted, and turned away. Jerk. He couldn't just put a couple of bones back in place and expect Frieza to forget that Cell was the one that put them out of place to begin with! Cell would have to do better than that!
"Please?" Cell begged, wrapping his arms around Frieza. "Darling?"
"Aww…" Dodoria smiled, watching the pair.
"Ew!" Zarbon spat. "Lord Frieza just forgive him, he's making me sick."
"You're just jealous." Cell pouted.
"Jealous? Of being fondled by you or of being in the doghouse with Lord Frieza?" Zarbon sniped.

Cell shot Zarbon an angry glare, but was soon distracted by Frieza's giggling.
"Fine, Zarbon." Frieza smirked. "I agree, it is disgusting." He looked at Cell. "You don't suit being nice. I suppose it wasn't part of your programming."
"I suppose not." Cell smirked back, and threw Frieza down so that he was lying on the sofa with Cell on top of him. Cell looked down at Frieza, and his eyes twinkled. "I guess I should be nasty then…"
"Eww…" Dodoria groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Guys, just because the kids aren't here – can you please do that in your room –" His face twisted in agony and he gagged at the sound of Frieza and Cell kissing.
"How adorable." Zarbon remarked sarcastically. "But save some for me – oh…" His eyes widened when he saw the Cell Juniors walk into the room, followed by two older figures. Oh, fuck… "Guys." Zarbon uttered. "Guys!"
"Mm?" Cell grunted, pulling himself away from Frieza. "Dammit Zarbon, can't you see we're busy - - …" His eyes also widened when he looked up to see who had joined them in the room. "… Crap."

Frieza looked up, and he, Cell, Zarbon and Dodoria all stared with wide eyes and pale faces at the two older figures, Dr. Gero and King Kold. They were both staring at Frieza and Cell, and were both looking absolutely horrified.
"F-Frieza…" King Kold stammered. "What's… What's going on…?"
"Uh…" Frieza uttered, struggling to think of something to say. "I… I… lost consciousness. Cell was performing CPR on me."
"Yeah." Cell nodded, sitting up. "I never did it before, but – you're okay, right Frieza?"
"Yes." Frieza nodded. "Thank you Cell, you saved my life."
"You're already dead." Dr. Gero growled.
"Well don't look at me like that, you're the one that programmed him to perform CPR on a dead person." Frieza argued. "I suggest you go back to school, Doctor."
"You – you were kissing!" King Kold gasped.
"No!" Frieza insisted. "No, we weren't Papa! We were – we were just –"
"What's the big deal?" One of the Cell Juniors piped up. "Papa and Uncle Frieza kiss all the time."
"What!" King Kold and Dr. Gero cried, staring down at the Junior.
"Cell, can you put a muzzle on those brats!" Frieza snarled, his fists clenching in anger.
"Yeah – to stop them lying!" Cell gasped, and raced over to the Junior. "Number 6, you know it's naughty to tell lies – and it's dangerous to say things like that."
"Yes, Number 6." Frieza hissed, glaring at the child. "You shouldn't tell lies like that. It's very dangerous."
"Yeah yeah, I know." The Cell Junior replied, and looked at Cell. "I know you said not to tell anyone that Uncle Frieza's your boyfriend, but that doesn't count if people see you kissing."
"Yeah." Another Cell Junior nodded. "It's your own stupid fault."
"What!" Frieza barked. "How dare you speak to your father like that!"
"Such bad manners." Zarbon scolded.
"Frieza!" King Kold screamed.

Frieza looked up, and suddenly turned even paler than usual.
"Y-Yes Papa?" He answered timidly.
"You are in a relationship with Cell!" King Kold roared.
"Well –"
"Oh, this is disgusting!" Dr. Gero interrupted Frieza, his face twisting in repulsion. He glared at Cell. "Cell, how could you – how dare you get involved with this – this – mutant!"
"What did you just call me?" Frieza seethed, his tail waving angrily behind him.
"He's not a mutant, Doctor." Cell frowned.
"No, he's worse!" King Kold cried. "Frieza, I can't believe you would do this to me! For decades I have defended your name over and over again! I can't count the amount of rumours I've heard over the years about you forming relationships with your nancyboy slaves, and I put a stop to every single one of them! Time after time I've sworn by your marriage to Glacia and killed anyone that has ever dared to accuse you of going with – with… men! And this – this is how you repay me? By allowing me to walk in on you and this monster?"
"Monster?" Cell snarled. "Who are you calling a monster, Kold?"
"Well you are a monster, Cell." Dr. Gero growled. "If you can do this! You must have absorbed some real freaks when you were alive, because I did not program this behaviour into you – I'm ashamed to even call myself your creator!"
"But Doctor!" Cell protested. "You used Frieza's DNA to create me! Surely you don't think he's that terrible?"
"I used Goku's DNA as well, but I wouldn't want to see you on top of him!" Dr. Gero barked.
"I would." Zarbon mumbled, earning himself a nasty glare from both Cell and Frieza.

King Kold turned on Frieza, his aura burning so angrily it made his cape fly behind him.
"You have made a fool of me, Frieza!" King Kold bellowed. "And I will not stand for it! From now on you are officially cut off!"
"What!" Frieza cried, his eyes widening. "Papa, you don't mean that!"
"Wait… You mean – cut off from your money?" Zarbon gasped.
"My money, my power, my empire and my name!" King Kold snarled. "Frieza, as far as I'm concerned I never had a second son!"
"King Kold, isn't that a little extreme?" Dodoria reasoned. "It's not like he's into animals or anything."
"No, it's worse!" King Kold snorted. "He's a faggot!"

Dodoria, Zarbon, Frieza and Cell all gasped, horrified that King Kold could use such a word.
"A faggot!" Cell cried.
"King Kold, that's a very offensive term!" Dodoria frowned, and looked at the Cell Juniors. "Kids, close your ears."
"What's a faggot?" One of the Juniors questioned.
"It's your Papa and Uncle Frieza." Dr. Gero spat.
"What!" Cell roared. "No – Kids, that isn't true." He turned to Dr. Gero and glared at him coldly. "Do not say that to my children."
"Hmph. It's not even true, you imbecile." Frieza growled. "If you must know, Cell and I are bisexual. Zarbon's the faggot."
"What!" Zarbon cried. "Don't drag me into this, Lord Frieza! This is nothing to do with me!"
"Zarbon, all those rumours I put an end to were about you." King Kold seethed. "I first heard about you and Frieza over forty years ago – I never wanted to believe it, but I suppose it was true, wasn't it?" He snorted, and shot Cell a nasty glance. "And now, look. You've been dumped for someone even more revolting."
"Well actually Zarbon and Lord Frieza are still –" Dodoria began, but stopped talking when Frieza shot him a deadly glance. "… Never mind."

King Kold turned pale, and looked like he was about to throw up.
"Oh my God!" He groaned. "Frieza – is this true? Both of them? Is one boyfriend not humiliation enough for me? You have to have two on the go, like a common whore?"
"Hey!" Cell barked, taking an aggressive stance. "He is not a common whore!"
"That's right, he's an uncommon whore." Dr. Gero sneered. "Because how often do you get someone that looks as disgusting as him? Honestly Cell, if you were going to make yourself lower than dirt couldn't you have at least done it with a human?"
"Oh, you mean the inferior species that managed to breed you?" Frieza snarled.
"You rotten bastard!" Dr. Gero hissed, advancing on Frieza. "I'm going to rip that slimy tail of yours clean off you little –" He stopped dead in his tracks when Cell stepped in front of him, blocking Dr. Gero's path.

Dr. Gero glared up at Cell and gritted his teeth. "Cell." He seethed. "Move."
"No." Cell pouted stubbornly. "Doctor – you disgust me. Both of you do. Frieza and I are more powerful than both of you. In fact, I am more powerful than both of you put together. Between Frieza and myself we can achieve more than your small-minded brains could even begin to imagine, and yet here you are, opposing to the single greatest alliance in the history of the universe." He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at King Kold and Dr. Gero. "Is it really that surprising that we would get together? We're the only two people in the universe worthy of each other."
"Yes, that's right Papa." Frieza smirked, standing beside Cell. "Think of what we could accomplish with Cell on our side – you should be thanking me for bringing him into the family."
"Thanking you? Thanking you?" King Kold cried. "Frieza – he's a man! And you were kissing him!"
"Oh, they've been doing more than that!" Dr. Gero snarled. "It's disgusting!"
"Oh, shut up, you old fools." Cell snorted. "I'm sure you've seen much worse things than two men in love."
"Uh… What?" Frieza uttered, staring at Cell with wide eyes.
"Yeah, what?" Zarbon and Dodoria gasped.
"And Dr. Gero," Cell continued on, oblivious to the others' reactions. "If you were so against me going with a man, then perhaps you shouldn't have programmed me to have feelings at all."
"What… What feelings, Cell?" Frieza choked. "Since when were we in love?"

Cell paused for a moment as he thought about what he'd just said, then all of a sudden he let out a loud gasp and clasped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening. Oh crap. He hadn't meant to say that.
"Uh…" Cell stammered. "We – … no." He looked at Frieza. "No – of course not. We're not in love, we're just –" He glanced at the Cell Juniors, then spoke cautiously. "We're just… 'having fun', you know that. All I meant was, if we were - - you know… then they would have no right to criticise it! We're obviously superior to them in every possible way, whether we are or aren't… in love." His cheeks started to darken slightly as he became more embarrassed, and he looked away. "But of course we're not."
"Yes… right. You're right." Frieza nodded. "We are superior to them. … And we aren't in love."
"No." Cell nodded.

They stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence, while the others stared at them.
"Anyway…" Zarbon mumbled after a long, agonising pause. "Moving on –"
"Frieza." Cell said, gazing at the icejin timidly.
"Yes…?" Frieza quietly replied.
"… I love you."
"What?" King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all screamed.
"Aww." Dodoria smiled.
"Yay!" The Cell Juniors all cheered and started dancing amongst themselves. "Papa's going to get married!" They exclaimed. "He's going to marry Uncle Frieza!"
"He's going to what?" King Kold snarled, glaring down at the Juniors.
"Over my dead body!" Dr. Gero declared. "I'll erase my very existence before I see my most perfect creation married to this freak!"
"Oh." Cell uttered, and approached Dr. Gero. He towered over the doctor and smirked down at him, his eyes twinkling deviously. "Well… if you're going to erase your own existence, you won't be needing this." He grabbed hold of one of Dr. Gero's earrings and ripped it from his ear, causing the doctor to cry out.
"Hey!" Dr. Gero barked. "Cell, what are you – no!"

King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all watched in horror as Cell approached Frieza and got down on one knee.
"Frieza…" Cell began.
"C-Cell…" Frieza choked. "What are you doing?" Cell simply smirked, and held the earring up to Frieza.
"Will you marry me?" He asked.
"No!" King Kold cried. "No! Frieza – I forbid you to say yes!"
"You forbid him?" Zarbon gasped, and glared at Frieza sternly. "Lord Frieza I have been your secret mistress for forty years, you aren't marrying anybody except me!"
"Cell…" Frieza mumbled, staring down at the android with wide eyes. "Are you insane? You don't – you don't actually love me?"
"Well… I think I do." Cell replied. "So will you marry me?"
"Say yes, Lord Frieza!" Dodoria grinned.
"Shut up, Dodoria!" Zarbon snarled, turning on him. "This is nothing to do with you!" He turned back to Frieza. "Lord Frieza, say n –"
"Okay." Frieza uttered, then smiled down at Cell, his cheeks darkening slightly. "Yes… I will."
"No!" King Kold, Dr. Gero and Zarbon all wailed in despair as Cell rose to his feet and placed the earring on Frieza's finger.
"Frieza, how – how could you do this to me!" King Kold cried. "You are not getting married to that monster, I forbid it! I gave you permission to have one marriage and that was to a woman, and if you think that I would ever let you marry this creature than you're even more foolish than I thought!"
"Frieza… Do you mind?" Cell asked.
"No." Frieza answered. "Go ahead."
"Thank you."

Cell approached King Kold, and smirked. "Papa… listen to me. Seeing as we're going to be family soon, I'll give you one chance to give us your blessing and leave unharmed. Otherwise, I'll break your legs."
"Ha!" King Kold snorted. "Do your worst! You must have a glitch in your programming if you think that I am allowing you to marry my s – aiiii!" He screamed in pain as Cell kicked him in the leg so hard his foot drove through King Kold's bones and came out on the other side of King Kold's leg. Cell removed his foot and watched as King Kold fell to the ground, writhing in pain.
"Haha!" The Cell Juniors grinned, watching in glee as King Kold lay at Cell's mercy.
"Would you like me to do the other one?" Cell offered.
"No!" King Kold wailed, suddenly realising that Cell would not hesitate to destroy him. "No! No – you have my blessing! Welcome to the family, Son!"
"Thank you, Papa." Cell smirked. "Oh – and as a wedding gift I think you should offer Frieza and myself a third of you empire, don't you?"
"What!" King Kold cried. "A third of my empire? Are you out of your mind!"
"Oh?" Cell uttered, placing his foot on King Kold's other leg. "Do you think a half would be more appropriate?"
"N-No!" King Kold stammered. "A third is fine! Yes! If we ever return to life, a third of my living empire is yours!"
"Yes, we'll take that that too." Cell nodded. "But I was talking about a third of the empire you've built down here, Papa." He looked at King Kold sternly, and pressed his foot onto the icejin's leg. "Don't try to trick me, now."
"No – no, I wouldn't dream of it!" King Kold insisted. "A third of what I have now is yours – wine, chocolate, alien slaves – all yours!"
"Good." Cell beamed, and released King Kold. "Well then, you may go. We'll see you at the wedding."
"Y-Yes, Son…" King Kold mumbled bitterly. "I'm looking forward to it." He winced in pain as he struggled to use his leg, then without so much as looking at Frieza or Cell he flew out of the cave.

Dr. Gero continued to stand there stubbornly, glaring at Frieza and Cell.
"You don't have my blessing." He snarled. "You don't scare me, Cell. I created you, and I can destroy you."
"Well we both know that isn't true." Cell replied bluntly. "But, you are my creator. I couldn't possibly bring myself to harm you…" He smirked. "So I'll let my fiancé do it." He stepped aside and allowed Frieza to approach Dr. Gero. Dr. Gero simply glared at Frieza and snorted.
"Well? What are you going to do, Lizard Boy?" He snarled.
"So kind of you to ask, Doctor." Frieza purred. "This." He moved his tail so quickly Dr. Gero didn't even see it, and the scientist suddenly found himself impaled through his chest, with Frieza's tail having gone straight through him. Dr. Gero paused for a moment, then stared down at Frieza's tail, then he looked back up to see Frieza smirking at him menacingly. "I know that wasn't enough to destroy you, but you get the idea." Frieza said. "Would you like me to make a hole in your head next?"
"Uh… no." Dr. Gero answered. "No… No thank you, Frieza." He bit his lip and gritted his teeth as he moved backwards, pulling himself off Frieza's tail. "Uh… congratulations."
"Thanks, Doctor." Cell grinned. "Could you have the kids again tomorrow?"
"Yes… Sure." Dr. Gero nodded.
"Great." Cell beamed. "Pick them up at midday – oh, and don't teach them any more offensive words."
"I wouldn't dream of it, my little glimmer of perfection…" Dr. Gero muttered angrily.
"Say bye-bye to Grandpa, Boys." Frieza instructed, and the Cell Juniors obediently turned to Dr. Gero to grin up at him menacingly.
"Bye-bye, Grandpa! Get well soon!" The Cell Juniors taunted, causing Frieza, Cell, Dodoria and Zarbon to all burst out laughing. Dr. Gero simply turned away and stormed out of the cave, muttering something angrily.

After he had gone, Cell folded his arms and grinned proudly.
"Well. That showed them." He stated.
"Yeah…" Frieza mumbled, taking Dr. Gero's earring off his finger. "But I wand a different ring, Cell. This is disgusting."
"What!" Cell cried. "Where am I supposed to get you an engagement ring?"
"Not my problem." Frieza shrugged.
"Aww…" Dodoria smiled. "Congratulations, you guys. I'm happy for you."
"Tch. I'm not!" Zarbon frowned. "I can't believe you're doing this to me, Lord Frieza! After all those years – you always said that I was going to be your husband! I can't believe you're dumping me for a cyborg bug!"
"A what?" Cell snarled.
"I'm not dumping you, Zarbon. You can still be our boyfriend." Frieza replied, and looked at Cell. "Right?"
"Sure." Cell smirked. "So long as he does what he's told and only speaks when spoken to."
"Oh – you bastard!" Zarbon hissed. "Lord Frieza, how could you! After years of being your loyal follower – I have been by your side day in day out for the past sixty years, and this is the thanks I get? I met you first, Lord Frieza! You and I were an item before that thing was even born! I have earned the right to be your husband, I deserve it! Do you have any idea how many offers I've turned down over the years for you? Do you have any idea how many billionaires have approached me and asked me to be their right-hand-man? More than you can count! And I didn't go with a single one of them because I am one hundred per cent loyal to –"
"Oh Zarbon, shut up." Dodoria scolded, much to everyone's surprise.

Dodoria turned to Zarbon and snorted. "Who the hell are you trying to fool? You didn't stay with Lord Frieza out of loyalty – you stayed with him because he had the most money and the most power, the exact same reason you started sleeping with him in the first place. You're a gold-digger, Zarbon, and don't even try to say you aren't."
"Oh, really?" Zarbon sniped. "And why do you suppose Cell hooked up with Lord Frieza, when he had his choice of any peasant down here?"
"Well it wasn't for his money." Dodoria argued. "But I have no idea why. Maybe he's not all that perfect in the head."
What!" Frieza snarled, glaring at Dodoria. "How dare you! What exactly are you implying?"
"I'm implying that you're the worst person that ever lived." Dodoria hissed. "You're arrogant, short-tempered, loud, spoilt – I don't know what Cell sees in you." He turned to Zarbon. "But it isn't his money, or his power. Cell might just be the only person in the entire universe that could ever love Lord Frieza for who he is instead of how much he's worth, and that makes him a much better choice than you, Zarbon."
"Aww…" Cell smiled. "Dodoria, that's beautiful."
"Oh shut up Cell, it's drivel." Zarbon spat. "And by the way – even if you do 'love' Lord Frieza for who he is, he doesn't love you." He glared at Dodoria. "So your little speech is meaningless, because at least one of them isn't marrying for love. Lord Frieza is just like me: shallow. That's why we're perfect for each other."
"Yeah well Zarbon, a couple of years ago I would have agreed with you." Dodoria nodded. "But that was before they moved in." He pointed at the Cell Juniors, and narrowed his eyes at Zarbon.

Zarbon looked at the children, then back at Dodoria, and snorted.
"What exactly are you trying to say?" He demanded.
"Lord Frieza tolerates them." Dodoria stated. "And he hates them."
"So?" Zarbon replied.
"Are – are you serious?" Dodoria blinked, shocked that it even needed explaining. Seriously? How well did Zarbon know Frieza? "Zarbon – Lord Frieza hates them, but he tolerates them. When have you ever known him to do that? Lord Frieza doesn't tolerate people, he kills people! Hell, if he's bored enough he'll even kill people he likes! There is no way he'd let those little monsters live here if he wasn't totally crazy about Cell!"
"Hey!" Frieza cried, turning violet. "Dodoria – shut up!"
"Is that true?" Cell asked, staring at him.
"Well…" Frieza mumbled. "Yes, Cell… I do hate your children."
"Not that part!" Cell barked. "The part about you tolerating them for me!"
"Oh." Frieza uttered, and looked away. "Well… I never really thought about it."
"It's true, Cell." Dodoria stated, folding his arms. "Believe me. I've worked for Lord Frieza for five decades and I've never seen him do anything for anybody, but he'll do anything for you. It's a terrifying thought, but… I think you two might have actually been made for each other."

Frieza and Cell remained silent for a long moment, unsure of how to respond. After a long pause, Cell finally grinned.
"Dodoria!" He beamed. "That's so sweet!"
"What?" Zarbon frowned.
"Hm." Frieza grunted. "Yes, well… Whatever. Perhaps I won't kill your family after all, Dodoria."
"Oh gee, thanks." Dodoria replied sarcastically.
"Dodoria," Cell smiled. "Will you say all that stuff at our wedding?"
"What?" Dodoria blinked, taken aback. "Well… I, uh… …" He looked at Frieza. "… Is that what you guys want?"
"Well… yes." Frieza shrugged. "I suppose." He smirked a little. "After all, it is the only worthwhile thing you've ever said."
"Okay… Sure." Dodoria nodded. "I won't remember it word for word, though."
"That's fine, nobody will be listening to you anyway." Frieza said, waving his hand.
"Ignore him, they'll be listening." Cell insisted. "Thanks, Dodoria!"
"Don't mention it…" Dodoria mumbled.
"Wait – don't you want me to make a speech?" Zarbon pouted. "I am in a relationship with both of you."
"Oh, no thank you, Zarbon." Frieza smirked. "Just stand there and look pretty, you're good at that."
"What!" Zarbon cried, insulted. "Lord Frieza –"
"Haha!" Dodoria taunted, pulling a face at Zarbon. "Loser!"
"And the best part of all," Cell grinned, pointing at the Cell Juniors who were now invading Frieza's chocolate supply. "They'll finally have two parents! You'll be their father as well, Frieza."
"Oh…" Frieza uttered, suddenly looking disheartened. "Yes… how wonderful…"

Cell grinned again, then his face fell when he noticed the Juniors making their way into the wine cellar.
"Hey, Kids – leave the wine alone, that's not for children." He said, following them. "… Kids? Did you hear what I just said? … Kids?"
"Little bastard." Dodoria sighed.

Zarbon shot Frieza a nasty smirk, and winked.
"Congratulations, Lord Frieza. I hope you enjoy your new family." He sneered.
"Shut up, Gold Digger." Frieza snarled, and raced off to give his new children the beating they deserved.