Zarba glanced up, and let out a sigh at the sight of her former empress. Poor Frikiza. Time had dragged on, and Frikiza was now on her last week of life, with no obvious way of extending it. Frikiza was in her capsule house with Zarba and Doria, glumly sprawled across the sofa while Doria sat at her side and Zarba knelt on the floor, staring into a mirror and doing her makeup at the coffee table.
"Don't worry, Frikiza." Zarba said reassuringly. "Dying won't be so bad. Zarbon said the pain only lasts a few seconds – and we can come visit you!"
"Thanks." Frikiza mumbled. "But you could only visit me if I was in hell and you guys were working as counsellors – and I'm kind of hoping that I've at least earned the right to go to heaven now."
"Tch. Why?" Zarba snorted. "Heaven is boring. All the fun people go to hell."
"Well… either way," Frikiza sighed. "Wherever I go, once I'm dead I can't switch universes, and I can't work as a counsellor anymore… not even in our universe."
"That's a stupid rule." Doria frowned. "You could do so much good as a counsellor, whether you're alive or dead! What difference does it make?"
"No switching universes, huh?" Zarba said as she stared at her own reflection. She smirked. "So I guess no more conjugal visits with Inky?"
"Stop calling him that!" Frikiza scolded. Still… it was better than the full nickname of 'Incubus' that Zarba seemed to be so fond of – not that King Piccolo liked either of them…

Zarba simply giggled.
"How are things with Mr. Angry?" She asked.
"Awkward." Frikiza sighed. "It's just not been the same lately…"
"Well Frikiza, did you really expect it to me?" Doria reasoned. "Considering the circumstances – death isn't exactly a turn-on."
"So what, he hasn't been making the most of you?" Zarba questioned.
"No, we've still been doing it… but not as often." Frikiza answered. "But even when we do, it's different. It's kind of… awkward." She lowered her eyes, a look of disappointment on her face. "To be honest, it's my own fault. I think I freaked him out a little."
"Oh." Zarba smirked. "You showed him your third form?"
"No!" Frikiza yelled, causing Zarba to giggle again.

Frikiza looked away stubbornly. "I'm not telling you." She pouted.
"Oh come on, I was just joking." Zarba protested. "But your third form is your ugliest. I hated it."
"You didn't hate all of it." Frikiza replied, narrowing her eyes at Zarba meaningfully. Zarba blushed a little, and turned back to the mirror.
"Anyway!" Doria growled, trying to get the unwanted image of Zarba and Frikiza out of her mind. She looked at Frikiza. "How did you freak him out?"
"Well, I uh…" Frikiza mumbled, her cheeks darkening. "I kind of… told him I love him."
"What!" Doria and Zarba both cried, staring at her.
"Frikiza!" Zarba yelled. "What the hell!"
"I couldn't help it!" Frikiza protested. "I didn't mean to! But we were arguing, and in the heat of the moment it just – came out!"
"Oh, no…" Doria groaned.

Zarba let out a disapproving sigh.
"No wonder things are awkward." She scolded. "I guess he doesn't feel the same way?"
"No." Frikiza answered glumly. "He doesn't think he's even capable of love."
"Well he might be right." Zarba reasoned. "He is pure evil."
"But he's not!" Frikiza insisted. "He's mostly evil, but not totally! He can love, just like everybody else."
"Yeah well – he doesn't love you." Zarba frowned. "Really, Friki – you had a good thing there, why did you have to go and ruin it?"
"I told you, I didn't mean to!" Frikiza argued. "It just came out, okay? I couldn't help it! And it's not like I wanted to love him, it just – happened!"
"Tch. Right." Zarba scoffed. "You know why? You're all about the feelings." She turned back to her mirror. "It's like I always told you, Frikiza. You have a brilliant mind, but you do all your thinking with your heart. Frieza's exactly the same. If he used his brain for something other than counting his money, he'd still be alive now – and if you used your brain more often, you wouldn't be in this situation."
"Yeah, that may be true, Zarba…" Doria said with a small smile. "But think about it – if Frikiza had stayed bad she never would have even met King Piccolo, and if Frieza hadn't died he wouldn't have met Cell."
"Well, you have a point there…" Zarba reluctantly admitted.
"They're a good couple, aren't they?" Frikiza smiled. "Frieza promised me he'd have the wedding before next week – there's no way I'm missing it!" She looked at Zarba and Doria. "And you two are invited as well."
"Dammit, Frikiza!" Zarba scolded. "Why the hell did you tell me – now I have to go!"
"Well why wouldn't you want to go?" Frikiza questioned.
"I do want to go." Zarba replied. "But if I do, Zarbon will have a fit."
"Oh, fuck Zarbon." Doria growled. "You don't owe him anything – and he's going too!"
"He has to, they're his boyfriends." Zarba said. "But if I go he'll think I'm taking Cell's side – you know what he's like."

Frikiza rolled her eyes.
"Is he really that bitter about it?" She growled. "Can't he just be happy for them?"
"He probably is, he's just being dramatic." Zarba huffed. She smirked. "But…" She looked at Frikiza and Doria. "Don't say anything – but he's planning on making a move on Bardock at the wedding, just to be a bitch."
"No!" Frikiza and Doria both gasped.
"Seriously? That's so petty!" Frikiza protested.
"And why would Bardock even go to Frieza's wedding?" Doria frowned.
"His wife Gine wants to go." Zarba answered.
"But why –"
"Because, as Incubus would put it, 'she's a bleeding heart sap that takes her rehabilitation classes too seriously'." Zarba smirked. "She's all about forgiveness and soul cleansing… You know. Crap."
"It's not crap!" Frikiza argued.
"Whatever." Zarba replied, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah but even so – why does Frieza even want saiyans at the wedding?" Doria asked.
"To piss of King Kold." Zarba giggled. "Seriously – everyone's just being spiteful to everyone else. That wedding is going to be one giant bitch fest."
"Hm…" Doria uttered, then smirked a little. "Still. Bardock, huh? Just to get at Frieza?"
"Mm-hm." Zarba nodded. "But personally, I can think of a better reason to go with Bardock…" She winked.
"I know, right?" Frikiza giggled. "He's hot."
"Yeah – Burda's definitely hotter as a guy." Doria grinned.
"Mm-hm." Zarba agreed, examining her lipstick in the mirror. "Friki, I love this mirror! When you die can I have it?"
"Zarba!" Doria yelled, glaring at her.
"Sure." Frikiza mumbled glumly. "Take whatever you want – I was just going to give the house to Frieza and Cell anyway."
"Can I have your TV?" Doria questioned, looking at her.
"Yeah." Frikiza said.

Zarba paused for a moment, remaining perfectly still as an idea came to her.
"That's it!" She gasped. "Cell!" She turned to face Frikiza. "Friki – I know how we can save you!"
"You do?" Frikiza beamed, suddenly perking up. "How?"
"With Nucli!" Zarba exclaimed.
"Nucli?" Frikiza blinked. "You mean Nucleus?"
"Yeah – you said that Cell's stronger than King Kold and Coola, right?" Zarbon nodded. "So that must mean Nucleus is stronger than your mother and sister."
"Well… not necessarily." Frikiza said, becoming disheartened again. "Remember – Kold and Coola died before Cell was even born, so they didn't have the chance to catch up like my family's had."
"There wasn't that much of a time difference." Zarba replied. "Anyway, think about it – it'll be Nucleus, and the girls, and you, me and Doria against those two – and there is no way they'll be able to take on all of us."
"Frikiza, she's right!" Doria gasped. "And Kuria'll be with us too! She even didn't want to join your mother, she just did it because your mother threatened to kill her! But – with all of us, that won't be a problem anymore."
"I don't know…" Frikiza mumbled. "Nucleus has worked so hard to turn over a new leaf, and she's just got the girls under control… I can't ask her to undo all her hard work."
"Oh come on Frikiza, yes you can!" Zarba snapped. "You don't have a choice! If you don't accept her help, you'll die!"
"That's right!" Doria looked at Frikiza pleadingly. "Please, Frikiza. Nucleus won't mind – and actually, think about it – if she finds out that you died and we didn't give her the chance to save you, she'll hate us!"
"That's true, she will." Zarba nodded.

Frikiza went quiet for a moment as she considered it. Really…? Could Nucleus save her…? Well… she really didn't want Nucleus to get back into fighting again – and especially not the Mini Nucleuses… They were the female versions of the Cell Juniors, and it had taken a lot of time and effort from Frikiza and their mother Nucleus, the female version of Cell, to get the Minis to behave. … But… Zarba was right. Of course she was right. What choice did Frikiza have? It would just be a one-off after all, and Frikiza wouldn't use the girls unless she had to – and if she did, she would help Nucleus retrain them afterwards. … Okay.
"Okay." Frikiza smiled. "Okay, let's - - … wait." She looked at Zarba as a thought suddenly came to her. "How is Nucleus going to help? She's dead! She can't fight my mother!"
"That's fine, we'll just bring her back to life with the dragonballs." Zarba shrugged. "No big deal."
"How exactly are you going to find them?" Frikiza growled. "There's no way Yasa would let you!"
"Yasa?" Zarba snorted. "What's she got to do with it?"
"Her husband invented the dragon radar – if you want to gather Earth's dragonballs in time you'll need to get it off him, and Yasa won't let that happen." Frikiza replied.
"… Dammit!" Zarba growled, folding her arms in frustration. "You know Frikiza, maybe you shouldn't have orphaned her and destroyed her entire planet."
"I know that!" Frikiza screamed, causing Zarba to flinch a little.

Doria looked at them.
"Guys, it's okay. It's not like the dragonballs come from Earth anyway." She shrugged. "Why don't we just go to Namek? They don't have anything against you, Frikiza." It was true. Fortunately Frikiza had turned good before she'd even heard of the planet Namek, and she had never set foot there in her life, so she hadn't managed to make enemies of its inhabitants. Finally, not living Frieza's life seemed to be paying off!
"That's a great idea!" Frikiza exclaimed. "Doria – you're a genius!"
"What!" Zarba cried. "It was my idea!"
"You wanted to use Earth's dragonballs." Doria pouted.
"But listen – will you make it there in time?" Frikiza asked.
"What do you mean?" Doria blinked.
"Well – when you go back to our universe and leave hell, they'll just send you back to where you came from, which is Planet Sarra, right?" Frikiza began. "So you'll have to get to Namek from there, so how long will it take you?"

Frikiza's heart sank as she watched Doria's face slowly fall. Oh, no… "Doria…?" Frikiza mumbled.
"Uh…" Doria uttered, lowering her eyes. "… About a month."
"… I can only stay here for a week." Frikiza said quietly.

The three of them sat in despair, disheartened, until Doria glared at Zarba.
"Dammit Zarba! Thanks for getting our hopes up!" She yelled.
"Hey, at least I'm thinking of ideas!" Zarba snapped. "Anyway, you were quick enough to take the credit when you thought it'd work!"

At that moment there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Zarba huffed, standing up. She made her way over to the door, with Frikiza and Doria watching to see who it was. Zarba opened the door and a huge grin swept across her face when she saw the mutated namek that was standing outside.
"Tangerine!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, no…" Frikiza groaned. "Zarba! Be nice to him!" She silently ordered.
"When am I ever not nice?" Zarba replied, and smiled at Tambourine again. "I'm sorry, it's Tambourine, isn't it?"
"Uh… yes, Ma'am." Tambourine nodded, a small blush forming on his cheeks. "I just uh… I just came to see if you guys needed anything."
"Yeah, right." Doria whispered to Frikiza, and Frikiza had to force herself not to giggle.

Zarba smirked at Tambourine.
"Is that so?" She purred. "Well… as it happens, I could use your opinion. What do you know about fashion?"
"Huh?" Frikiza and Doria blinked, frowning at Zarba in confusion.
"Oh no, what's she up to…?" Frikiza whimpered. "Zarba, please! Don't bully him!"

Zarba ignored Frikiza and looked at Tambourine.
"Well?" She pushed.
"Uh… I'm not sure." Tambourine answered awkwardly. "Not much, I guess… Why?"
"Oh, well… this is a new dress." Zarba answered.
"Oh." Tambourine uttered, looking at Zarba's long blue dress. She looked pretty… "It's nice. The colour suits you." Tambourine smiled, and his heart skipped a beat as he met Zarba's bright golden eyes. She had such beautiful eyes…
"Oh, I'm not worried about the colour." Zarba said. "It's just –" She grabbed hold of her large, round breasts, and pushed them together. "You don't think it makes these look too big, do you?"
"What!" Frikiza and Doria cried. "Zarba!"

Tambourine turned bright purple and his eyes widened. His breath suddenly caught in his throat as if he had been brutally winded. He started to tremble, struggling to contain himself as Zarba held her breasts up to him. He looked away immediately, and prayed that he wouldn't get a nosebleed.
"Uh - - no." Tambourine answered quickly. "No, I don't think so."
"Too small?" Zarba asked. "Take another look."

Tambourine's cheeks burned even more as he quickly glanced at Zarba, keeping his gaze as short as he possibly could.
"N-No. They're definitely not too small." He said.
"Oh, good." Zarba smiled, letting go of her breasts. "Thanks, Tambourine. I really needed the opinion of someone who's unbiased."
"You're… you're welcome…" Tambourine uttered, his body still trembling. He looked at Zarba, and forced himself to stare straight into her eyes. "Uh, is… is that all?"
"Well…" Zarba mused, then she turned to the side and leaned against the doorframe. "How does my butt look? Too big or too small?"
"Um!" Tambourine squealed, his eyes almost popping out of his skull. "N-Neither! You look – you look great!"
"Are you sure? You aren't just being polite are you?" Zarba questioned.
"No! Not at all!" Tambourine protested. "Honestly – you have a great body! I mean - - No, I didn't mean that!" He stammered, then let out a sudden gasp when he realised what he'd just said. "I mean – I did, because you do have a great body, but - - what I meant was - - I didn't mean it in an offensive way!"
"Offensive?" Zarba repeated, tilting her head slightly and putting a vacant look on her face. "What do you mean?" She asked innocently.
"You know – uh…" Tambourine quivered, and swallowed. "Uh… never mind! You look great! I have to go now – bye Zarba!" He gasped. "Oh – by Frikiza! By Doria!"
"Bye…" Frikiza and Doria answered cautiously.
"Bye, Tangerine!" Zarba exclaimed. "Oh, sorry! Tambourine!" She smiled at him brightly, and watched in glee as Tambourine bolted off towards King Piccolo's cave as fast as his ki could carry him.

When he had gone Frikiza shot Zarba a nasty glance.
"That was mean!" She yelled.
"Oh, it was just a bit of fun." Zarba giggled, shutting the door. "How could I resist?"
"Zarba, you know he likes you!" Frikiza pleaded. "Can't you just show him a little mercy? You know he's never liked a girl before?"
"And now that he's seen me, he'll never like another girl ever again." Zarba smirked, and sat back down in front of the coffee table.
"Whatever." Frikiza hissed. "But listen, Zarba. If he ever does pluck up the courage to ask you out, do not lead him on. I'm serious."
"Oh come on, I wouldn't be that cruel." Zarba replied, getting back to her makeup. "Besides, rejecting a guy is the best bit." She smirked, and Frikiza rolled her eyes.
"Bitch." She growled.

XXXXX

Back in King Piccolo's cave, King Piccolo was sitting in his throne, tapping his claws against its arm in frustration as Piano, Cymbal and Drum quietly cleaned their surroundings. King Piccolo looked at the three of them, and frowned. Tch. What were they looking so miserable about? Well… He knew the answer. He wished he didn't. It was Frikiza. They were sulking over her upcoming doom. Well, how did they think he felt? Things had been so awkward with Frikiza lately. King Piccolo had wanted to make the most of Frikiza's body while it was still in this universe, but lately things just hadn't been the same. Frikiza had lost her passion somehow; she'd lost her power… King Piccolo never would have believed it if he hadn't witnessed it first hand – apparently there was something good about Frikiza's personality. It wasn't just her body that made her sexy, it was her passion and her enthusiasm, and for the past couple of weeks they'd diminished a little more each day. King Piccolo knew why. It was because he didn't love her. It had to be. Tch. She said she didn't care about that – yeah, right! So why had she been so terrible in bed lately? Why had she been so distracted, so bland? What, was she worried about dying? Well it was her own fault. She was the one that had chosen to betray her family, so why should King Piccolo be the one that paid the price? Hmph. At this rate, he wouldn't miss her at all. Not that he would miss her anyway… but now he wouldn't even miss her body, not unless she started using it properly! What was he supposed to do? He couldn't suddenly grow a heart and fall in love with her, and he couldn't make himself care about her. He didn't care about her. He didn't want to. He just wanted to fuck her. … That was all.

King Piccolo and the mutants looked up at the sound of someone entering the cave, and Tambourine came diving into the room like a bolt of lightning, finally skidding to a halt on the floor and throwing himself onto his knees. He squatted down and started hyperventilating, his eyes wide and his face violet.
"Tambourine!" Piano gasped, rushing to his sibling. "What's wrong?"
"It – it's Zarba…" Tambourine choked.
"Zarba?" Cymbal repeated. "Is she hurt?"
"What!" Drum cried, suddenly looking worried. "Wait – does that mean Doria's hurt as well?"
"No – no, nothing like that!" Tambourine gasped. "They're – they're both fine." His cheeks turned darker still. "Especially Zarba. She's… more than fine."
"Hm?" King Piccolo frowned at his son. "What's the matter with you? What happened?" He demanded.
"Well," Tambourine began, looking at his master. "I went over to Frikiza's place to see if they wanted anything, you know…" He lowered his eyes. "Just to… be nice."
"You mean you went over there to talk to Zarba?" Cymbal sniggered. "So? Did you ask her out?"
"No…" Tambourine mumbled. "When I got there, I just… I kind of lost my nerve."
"Tch!" King Piccolo snorted. "Pathetic. So is that why you're in this state? Because you were too afraid of a mere woman to ask her out? Why did I even bother creating you?"
"Sire…" Piano sighed. "It can be very difficult asking a woman out, you know."
"Oh? And how would you know?" King Piccolo smirked. "When was the last time you got a sniff, Piano?"
"When was the last time you did?" Piano thought bitterly, not daring to say it aloud.

Tambourine shook his head.
"No, King Piccolo – it's not that." He said. "It's just… uh… when I was there, Zarba… asked me for help."
"What?" King Piccolo frowned.
"In what way?" Cymbal questioned, wondering what she could have possibly asked for that had gotten Tambourine into this state.
"Well, uh – she got this new dress, and…" Tambourine swallowed, his cheeks burning. "And she wanted me to tell her how… how her boobs looked."
"What!" His mutant siblings all cried.
"Yeah." Tambourine nodded. "And her butt." He scrunched his eyes shut and shivered. "Guys – she really wanted me to stare! I – I didn't know what to do!"
"Well did you stare?" Drum asked.
"I tried not to, but I had to look! She kept pushing me!" Tambourine protested.
"Haha." King Piccolo sniggered. "You should be grateful, Son. That's the last time a girl like that will ask you to look at her. I hope you got your fill."
"But Sire, I couldn't look…" Tambourine whimpered. "It – it's rude! I don't want her to think I'm a pervert!"
"But she asked you to look." Piano reasoned. "So why would she think ill of you for doing what she asked?"
"I don't know, Piano. I heard girls are pretty weird like that." Cymbal said.
"Yeah – I heard that too!" Tambourine cried. "Guys, what if she hates me?"
"Oh Tambourine, stop worrying." Piano sighed. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill, I'm sure she just wanted your opinion. You did nothing wrong."
"Hey Tambourine, what do they look like?" Cymbal grinned. "Are they big?"
"Well… I didn't get a good look…" Tambourine mumbled, blushing again. "But… Yeah. Uh… they're pretty big." He looked away in embarrassment. "And squishy-looking…"
"Are they better than Frikiza's?" Cymbal asked, glancing at King Piccolo.
"Uh… I'm not sure." Tambourine said. "I think so."
"Tch. Too bad you'll never get your hands on them." King Piccolo spat.

Cymbal glanced at Piano, who smirked back.
"That was rather defensive, wasn't it?" Piano said silently to Cymbal.
"Yep!" Cymbal answered enthusiastically.
"Hey, Tambourine…" Drum uttered, blushing a little. "Was Doria there…?"
"Yeah, she was there." Tambourine smiled. "You know, I think I see what you mean about her having a pretty face."
"I like her eyes…" Drum said dreamily.
"You should ask her out!" Tambourine grinned.
"Well you should ask out Zarba!" Drum replied.
"Ah, come on… Zarba's beautiful. She's never gonna say yes to me…" Tambourine sighed.
"What, and you think Doria isn't beautiful?" Drum growled.
"No, not that!" Tambourine protested, holding up his hands. "Of course Doria's beautiful, she's just not in the same league as Zarba."
"Oh, fuck you, Tambourine!" Drum barked. "If you ask me, Zarba's way too scrawny –"
"Was Frikiza there?" King Piccolo asked, interrupting Drum.

Tambourine looked at him, and nodded.
"Yeah. She was there." He answered. "You haven't spoken to her?"
"Nope." King Piccolo grunted in annoyance. "Did she still look boring?"
"I – I don't know what you mean." Tambourine said. King Piccolo simply snorted and looked away.
"Never mind." He growled.
"Uh… King Piccolo?" Piano began, approaching his master. "Forgive me for prying, but it does seem like things haven't been going that well between you and Frikiza lately?"
"Shut up. What would you know?" King Piccolo snarled. "She's a sex slave – and we're still having sex, aren't we?"
"Yes." Piano nodded. "But… not as loudly."
"Thank God!" Drum groaned. "Piano, don't complain about that –" He suddenly felt a pair of sharp eyes on him, and looked up to see King Piccolo shooting him a threatening glance. "… Sorry."
"Hmph." King Piccolo scoffed. "I don't know what gotten into her. She's completely lost her mood."
"Well… she is about to die, Sire." Piano reasoned. "I doubt she feels particularly 'active' at the moment."
"Well, she needs to get active!" King Piccolo growled. "It's so irritating, seeing her so miserable all the time. I hate to see her so down."
"Oh, really?" Piano smirked, looking at him meaningfully. King Piccolo glared at Piano.
"You know what I meant." He seethed.
"Of course." Piano giggled. "Well… why don't you try to cheer her up?"
"I'm not telling her I love her." King Piccolo growled. "Even if it is a lie – the very thought disgusts me. That is the only lie in the world that I am not willing to tell."
"Well… they do say 'actions speak louder than words'." Piano said. "You don't have to say anything – why don't you just do something for her? A gesture, to cheer her up?"
"You mean like going down on her?" King Piccolo uttered. "I've already offered, she isn't interested."
"Gross…" The mutants all gagged.

Piano wiped the image of his father and Frikiza out of his mind, and shook his head.
"No." He said bluntly. "Something different. Something that gives her the impression you care about her."
"But I don't." King Piccolo argued. What, was he slow?
"That's why I said something that gives the impression." Piano replied. "Frikiza knows you don't have feelings for her, but I'm sure she'll still be delighted if you try to cheer her up."
"You really think she'll fall for that?" King Piccolo grunted, not at all convinced.
"Well, she fell for you." Piano retorted.
"Good point." King Piccolo said with a smirk. Haha. What cheek! But maybe Piano was right. If King Piccolo did something to cheer up Frikiza, he wouldn't have to say anything pathetic, and she would still become easier to live. It was perfect! Piano obviously had King Piccolo's brains. "So, what do you suggest?" King Piccolo questioned.
"Well…" Piano thought for a moment, looking promising, then drew a blank. He turned to the other mutants for ideas. "Guys?"
"Uh…" The mutants stared at him blankly, struggling to think of anything to say. Oh, great!

King Piccolo stamped his foot in annoyance and folded his arms. Idiots. They were absolute idiots!
"Wait – Zarba likes jewellery." Tambourine said. "Maybe Frikiza likes it too."
"Does she wear jewellery?" Cymbal asked, trying to picture Frikiza.
"Um…"
"Where the hell am I supposed to get jewellery down here!" King Piccolo demanded. "This isn't a high street!"
"Well – what about wine?" Cymbal asked. "She likes wine, right."
"Yes." King Piccolo hissed. "And she's the one that gives wine to us! What do you suggest I do, wrap up one of her bottles and hope she doesn't notice? Idiot!"
"Sorry…" Cymbal mumbled sheepishly.
"Chocolate?" Drum suggested.
"She's a counsellor Drum, she hands out the chocolate." Piano stated, saving King Piccolo the task.
"Thank you." King Piccolo muttered.

The room fell silent as King Piccolo and his mutants tried to think of something to impress Frikiza with, then all of a sudden a wide grin swept across Tambourine's face.
"I've got it!" He exclaimed. "King Piccolo – you can give her flowers! Girls like flowers!"
"Flowers?" King Piccolo snarled. Unbelievable… What a fool! "Where am I supposed to get flowers!" He yelled.
"From the Forest of Death." Tambourine answered, naming a barren forest that occupied a small section of hell. "They have flowers there, I saw them."
"Imbecile!" King Piccolo roared. "Those flowers are dead! As is the entire forest!"
"But we could paint them?" Tambourine suggested. "And make them look pretty?"
"Yes! Yes, that could work!" Piano nodded enthusiastically. "Remember – it's the thought that counts, King Piccolo!"
"And what thought would that be?" King Piccolo spat. "The thought that soon she will look like those flowers?"
"… Oh yeah." The mutants mumbled, and they all sighed in disappointment, struggling to think of anything else.

King Piccolo grunted and looked away angrily. Idiots. How could they even suggest that? Did they really think he was going to turn up at Frikiza's door with a bunch of painted dead flowers? What the hell did they take him for? They'd better think of something else, and fast! Because he was not going to be moronic enough to give Frikiza a bunch of dead flowers. It was ridiculous!

XXXXX

Dammit. He felt like a fool. If this didn't work, those brainless morons were finished! King Piccolo was stood outside Frikiza's door with a bunch of dead roses that Tambourine had attempted to paint red with the blood from Blood Pond. It hadn't worked. Not properly, anyway. The 'paint' was clumpy in some areas, and completely absent in others… Dammit! That idiot couldn't even paint properly. Why the hell had King Piccolo ever created him? Tambourine had shown so much promise when he'd killed all those martial artists… Then he'd been pitifully defeated by a child Goku and he'd never earned King Piccolo's respect since. They were idiots, all of them. Incompetent, weak, blundering fools – and if this didn't work, they would cease to exist. King Piccolo banged on Frikiza's door, and waited impatiently for her to answer. After all, she was about to decide the fate of his children.

Inside the house Frikiza, Zarba and Doria were still discussing Frikiza's options.
"Why don't you just send Incubus up to Earth again?" Zarba suggested. "He can get the dragonballs for you."
"That won't work." Frikiza sighed.
"Yeah…" Zarba mumbled. "I guess he'll just use them himself, huh…?"
"No – I don't think that!" Frikiza frowned. "At least, I'd like to think he'd use at least one of his wishes to help me…" She sighed. "But the dragonballs he'd gather would be from this universe, so they wouldn't be able to revive anyone in our universe – so they'd be no good to Nucli."
"Oh." Zarba uttered. "Oh yeah… you have a point."
"Hm… I was going to send him back to Earth for a day anyway, though. I think he's earned it, he has been going to his meetings." Frikiza said. "I got permission to send him this morning, but I haven't told him yet –" She was suddenly interrupted by an almighty thud on her front door.
"Who the hell is that!" Doria frowned.
"Ooo!" Zarba grinned, her face lighting up. "Maybe it's Tambourine after another round!"
"Oh – well Zarba if it is then be nice to him!" Frikiza snapped. "Actually, on second thought – I'll get the door." She hopped off the sofa and walked past Zarba.

Frikiza opened the door, and blinked in surprise to see King Piccolo standing in front of her.
"Piccolo?" She uttered. "The class isn't until this evening."
"I know." King Piccolo stated. "I'm not here for the class."
"… Oh." Frikiza uttered, realising why he was here. "Well – sorry, now's not a good time. Zarba and Doria are here."
"So tell them to leave." King Piccolo shrugged.
"Why should I?" Frikiza argued. "Just go and masturbate, I'm busy!"

King Piccolo snorted. Bitch. How dare she say no to him! Now she deserved dead flowers.
"I brought you these." King Piccolo growled, and held the badly painted bouquet out to her. Frikiza looked down at the flowers, trying to work out what the hell they were.
"Are those roses?" She asked.
"Yes." King Piccolo answered.
"Dead roses?" Frikiza glared at him, her eyes suddenly burning with anger. "Is this your idea of a joke?"
"What? No!" King Piccolo protested. Dammit, those morons and their stupid ideas! He knew she would react like this! "You can't get live flowers down here – so this will have to do!"
"Really? You couldn't think of anything better to bring me?" Frikiza snarled. "How about wine? Or chocolate?"
"Frikiza – I get those things off you!" King Piccolo barked. "Why the hell would I give you something that you can just give yourself? It's the thought that counts, you little ingrate!"

Frikiza suddenly froze as she realised how annoyed King Piccolo seemed. Oh God… He wasn't joking, was he? He wasn't trying to mock her. He… He really was trying to be nice. Finally, after all her hard work… … Aww. King Piccolo was trying to be nice to her! How touching! Frikiza's heart melted and she looked at him fondly, her entire body suddenly filling with warmth.
"Piccolo…" Frikiza uttered softly. She took the flowers off him, and smiled. "You're right. I can get wine and chocolate myself – you've obviously put a lot of thought into this…" She stared down at the flowers awkwardly, noticing that they'd been painted with some sort of blotchy liquid. It smelt like… "Is this blood?" Frikiza asked.
"Yes." King Piccolo mumbled, looking away. "From Blood Pond."
"Did you paint them yourself?"
"No." King Piccolo growled. "Tambourine did – if I'd painted them, they would have looked more alive!"

Frikiza giggled.
"Oh well. He did a good enough job." She said. She took hold of King Piccolo's shirt lightly and pulled him down, then she leaned up onto her tiptoes to kiss King Piccolo's cheek. "Thank you." She smiled. King Piccolo blushed, and pulled away.
"You're welcome." He growled, unsure of how to react. That was weird. He'd never been thanked before… Not by someone he hadn't just threatened to kill, anyway. Or someone that wasn't completely terrified of him. It felt… strange. Different. Frikiza smiled again, and took hold of King Piccolo's hand.
"Do you want a drink?" She offered. King Piccolo looked at her. Huh. She seemed different now. Lately when Frikiza had offered him a drink, she'd done it reluctantly, as if she felt like she had to but she didn't really want to. Now… She seemed sincere. She seemed… Happy. Alive. Like she had been at the beginning. … Wow. King Piccolo couldn't believe it – this ridiculous dead flowers idea had actually worked! Amazing! King Piccolo smirked as Frikiza started to pull him into the house, her tail against his back and pushing him in after her. Yes! He was definitely going to have fun with her!

King Piccolo allowed Frikiza to lead him into the living room, and he took a seat in the chair behind Zarba, who grinned widely at him.
"Incubus!" She exclaimed. "How are you – ew…" She looked questionably at the bunch of dead roses Frikiza had in her hand. "… Please tell me that isn't a gift." Zarba uttered.
"Shut up Zarba, it's the thought that counts." Frikiza scolded, and smiled at King Piccolo. "I'll get you a drink – wine or melon soda?"
"Melon soda…" King Piccolo mumbled, glaring at Zarba as Frikiza wandered into the kitchen.

Zarba huffed.
"You know, she must really think you're something special, Inky." She frowned.
"Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" King Piccolo snarled.
"Because when we were in a relationship, Frikiza never would have accepted dead roses from me." Zarba sniped, then she smirked. "She always liked my flower to be fresh and vibrant."
"Zarba!" Doria yelled. "Don't be disgusting! I don't need to picture you and Frikiza!"
"Well, have some consideration." Zarba purred, eyeing King Piccolo up flirtatiously. "Maybe Incubus wants to hear about it – don't you, Mr. Wrong?"
"Shut up!" King Piccolo growled. "No, I don't – and stop calling me 'Incubus'!"
"Fine." Zarba smirked.

King Piccolo looked away, enraged by Zarba's attitude. The nerve of her. She had no respect whatsoever – for him or Frikiza! How dare she talk so carelessly about his - - … well. She wasn't his girlfriend, was she? … Fine. Zarba could say what she wanted about Frikiza, it wasn't like King Piccolo cared. … Actually, now that he thought about it, the image of Zarba and Frikiza was – "Hey."

Zarba's voice snapped King Piccolo from his daydream, and he looked up to see her standing next to him. She draped her arm around King Piccolo's shoulders and leaned into him, lips almost touching his ear as she spoke in a silky voice. "Is it true that nameks are hermaphrodites?"
"What if we are?" King Piccolo demanded, shrugging her off him before her breath against his skin could give him an unwanted reaction.
"So you have vaginas?" Zarba asked.
"Zarba!" Doria gasped, her eyes widening. She looked at King Piccolo apologetically. "Sorry – she has boundary issues!"
"I do not!" Zarba pouted, and turned back to King Piccolo. "Is it like mine?"
"How the hell should I know!" King Piccolo barked. "I've never seen yours!" Although, if she offered to show him…
"Well, it's like Frikiza's?" Zarba answered.
"… Sort of." King Piccolo mumbled, his cheeks darkening slightly. Why was she even asking that? His biology was nothing to do with her! If she was really that interested, why didn't she ask Tambourine to strip for her? Then maybe he'd get the courage to ask her out, the worthless little coward.
"Okay, well you're in luck – because I've got a tip for you." Zarba grinned. "I can tell you're the sort of man that likes to act like a man, right? But take it from me, as someone who was Frikiza's satisfied lover for years…" She looked at King Piccolo, her eyes twinkling deviously and her lips forming into a seductive smirk. "Let her use her tail."
"Her… tail?" King Piccolo repeated cautiously.
"Mm-hm." Zarba nodded. "Trust me – I've never had a dick, but I can guarantee that whatever she does to your worm, she'll do a hundred times better to your fish."
"Oh my God!" Doria wailed, clasping her hands against her ears. "Zarba, shut up! Why do you have to be so vulgar! It's disgusting!" She glared at Zarba. "I don't want to hear about you and Frikiza! And I'm pretty sure King Piccolo doesn't want to hear about what you used to do with his girlfriend!"
"She's not my girlfriend!" King Piccolo barked.
"Fine, fuck buddy. Whatever." Doria growled. "Just tell her you don't want to hear it."

King Piccolo looked at Zarba, and she winked back.
"Trust me." Zarba purred. King Piccolo didn't know how to respond. His cheeks turned purple, and he stared at the floor as he considered the idea. Frikiza's tail, with his…? Ugh. Even the thought of it made him feel uneasy. It would hurt, wouldn't it? Even King Piccolo hurt Frikiza, and they did it the normal way. Then again, the tip of Frikiza's tail was much smaller than him, and it was more flexible… … Hm.

At that moment Frikiza re-entered the room with King Piccolo's drink.
"Okay, one melon soda –" She suddenly stopped when she sensed a terrible awkwardness in the room. What was going on? Doria was looking angry and sickened, King Piccolo… he just looked kind of embarrassed. Was he blushing? His cheeks were violet! And Zarba… Frikiza sighed when she saw a mischievous grin on Zarba's face. Zarba. Frikiza might have known. What had she done now? "Zarba." Frikiza hissed. "What have you said?"
"Nothing!" Zarba gasped dramatically, as if she were offended. "Why do you always assume I've said something?"
"Because you always do!" Frikiza snapped. She looked at King Piccolo. "What has she been saying?" Frikiza demanded.
"Nothing." King Piccolo answered quietly, not looking at her. He held out his arm. "Melon soda."
"Please." Frikiza muttered angrily, and handed him the drink.
"Thank you." King Piccolo downed the drink in one gulp, then held his empty glass out, his face still violet. "Another."
"Oh – if you're going," Zarba grabbed her empty wine glass and held it up. "Can I get a refill?"
"Yeah, me too." Doria groaned, still sickened.

XXXXX

"Oh, thank you, Incubus!" Zarba declared as she arrived safely at Frikiza's door, escorted there by King Piccolo. It was a few drinks later and Zarba's alcohol intake had suddenly caught up to her. She'd clung onto King Piccolo's arm to steady herself and she made her way towards the door, closely followed by Frikiza and Doria.
"Stop calling me that!" King Piccolo barked.
"Sorry." Zarba giggled. "Hm…" She tailed her fingertips across his arm, caressing the thick steel muscles that lay under his skin, and smirked up at him. "You know, you're kind of hot when I'm drunk. Frikiza, would you mind if I borrowed him sometime?"
"What!" Frikiza barked, and glared at Zarba. "What do you mean!"
"Well you guys keep insisting that you're not a couple." Zarba shrugged. "So I guess you'd have no reason to get jealous, right?"
"Zarba, shut up! You're drunk!" Frikiza growled.
"But she has a point…" King Piccolo mumbled, eyeing up Zarba's hourglass frame.

Zarba started laughing, while Frikiza simply glared daggers into King Piccolo's back. The jerk…
"Well, I guess we could always have a threesome Friki, if you don't want to feel left out." Zarba winked.
"A threesome?" King Piccolo choked, his eyes widening. Oh, yeah! That was a great idea!
"Mm-hm." Zarba nodded. "What do you say?"
"Zarba, shut up!" Frikiza wailed. "Why would you even suggest that!"
"Well Zarbon's in a three-way with Frieza and Cell." Zarba reasoned. "Hey!" She looked at Frikiza and King Piccolo, and grinned. "Maybe you two could get married –"
"Okay!" King Piccolo barked, suddenly changing his mood. He opened the door and pushed Zarba towards it. "Enough! Go!"
"Hmph! Party pooper." Zarba pouted.
"Zarba… let's go." Doria groaned, taking hold of Zarba's arm. She looked at Frikiza in embarrassment. "Sorry, Frikiza…"
"It's okay." Frikiza sighed. "I was the one that gave her that wine – just make sure she gets home okay."
"Okay. Take care of yourself." Doria nodded, and glanced at King Piccolo. "Uh… bye."
"Bye, Incubus!" Zarba crooned, and blew King Piccolo a kiss before she was abruptly dragged away by Doria, who shut the door behind them.

Frikiza let out a sigh, her cheeks darkening slightly in embarrassment.
"Sorry about her…" She mumbled.
"It's fine." King Piccolo growled.
"She means well, really." Frikiza insisted. "She just… speaks her mind."
"Whatever." King Piccolo grunted. He studied Frikiza, eyeing up her frame. Well, he had come here for something. He wasn't sure if he was in the mood now, though…

Frikiza took hold of King Piccolo's hand and smiled at him, blushing.
"Thank you for the flowers." She said. "It was sweet of you."
"Oh…" King Piccolo looked away. "I told you, it's nothing."
"Well then, why did you give me them?" Frikiza asked.
"To… cheer you up." King Piccolo mumbled. Why did she think? It was because she'd been so miserable lately – so insufferable!
"Well it worked."

King Piccolo turned his head back to Frikiza when he felt a warmth on his cheek, and his hand being squeezed. He looked down to see Frikiza smiling up at him, and he felt the tip of her tail travelling down his spine. "Do you… want to go to bed?" Frikiza asked.
"Uh… yeah…" King Piccolo mumbled, suddenly aware of her tail against him. Her tail… He couldn't help but wonder, had there been any truth to what Zarba had said? Would it really be… more fun? "Frikiza." King Piccolo blushed slightly, and he lowered his eyes. "I was thinking. Could you… could you use your tail?"
"My tail?" Frikiza blinked. She looked at him in confusion for a moment, then her lips parted when she realised what he meant. "Oh." Frikiza uttered. "… Sure." She smirked a little, and started to lead King Piccolo towards her bedroom, tickling the tip of her tail against his lips as she spoke, "Right this way, Inky."
"Don't call me that." King Piccolo growled, and frowned in annoyance when Frikiza started giggling.

XXXXX

King Piccolo lay there in what felt like a trance. That had been… something else. Really, it was… so different. So intense. So… good. Was that was Frikiza felt like every time they did it? No… Frikiza's tail was much narrower at the end, and had a lot more mobility, and precision… He could never do to her what she had just done to him, not in a million years. Not without using his hands.
"Piccolo?" Frikiza's voice came from beside him, and King Piccolo smiled slightly when he felt her lips against his neck. "Was that okay?" She asked.
"Oh yeah…" King Piccolo groaned, stretching in satisfaction. He could still feel the warmth of her mouth around his antennae; he could still feel the effects of her tail touching him… It was bliss!

Frikiza giggled, and lay against him, trailing her fingers lightly across his chest.
"So… I'm going to guess that Zarba suggested that?" She said.
"Oh… yeah." King Piccolo mumbled. "So… that's what you two used to do?" He asked, his face darkening as he thought about it.
"Yeah. Amongst other things." Frikiza answered, and blushed. "I was… more rough with her though. She was used to it."
"Uh-huh…" King Piccolo choked. Oh hell, what an image… Rough, was she? He could see it now; Frikiza pinning Zarba down, kissing her, biting her, spanking her… while Zarba moaned and writhed underneath Frikiza, her back arching and her lips parting… Fuck!

King Piccolo grabbed Frikiza's hand and rolled on top of her, pinning her hand above her head. He had to have her. She was just so sexy. So many things she said drove him wild, even if she didn't mean them to. She was so beautiful, so passionate, so rough! But… wait. If she made a point of saying she'd been rough with Zarba, did that mean she'd been gentle with him? Why! "You went easy on me?" King Piccolo growled.
"Well… It's new to you, right?" Frikiza replied. "I didn't want to hurt you…"
"Tch! You can't hurt me." King Piccolo snorted. He was somewhat insulted; did she really think he couldn't handle her? Of course he could handle her! "Next time, don't hold back." He ordered.
"Okay." Frikiza smirked. "Whatever you say, Master."
"Oh, you little bitch…" King Piccolo purred, his arousal growing as that name sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted to penetrate her. Deeply. He wanted to make her scream; he wanted to hurt her! That was one bad thing about letting Frikiza use her tail, it didn't exactly make him feel like the man of the relationship. But, all it meant was he'd fuck her twice as hard now. "Bend over." King Piccolo ordered, grabbing Frikiza's hips to flip her onto her front. "Now."
"Okay!" Frikiza giggled, pushing his hands away. "But first – I need to tell you something."
"What?" King Piccolo growled, suddenly frustrated. Why did she pick the worst time for everything?
"It's about tomorrow." Frikiza began. "You're going to Earth."
"I'm… what?" King Piccolo blinked. Frikiza nodded.
"Mm-hm. I got it approved this morning." She said.

King Piccolo paused for a moment. Another trip to Earth…? … Fantastic! He and Frikiza could make full use of the honeymoon suite this time, without being bothered by King Piccolo's minions or Frikiza's friends. Of course, that would be after he gathered the rest of the dragonballs… Yes! The dragonballs! He was certain to get them this time, if only he could think of a way to distract Frikiza… She would be watching his every move, wouldn't she? Dammit…
"Are you going to lock the door again?" King Piccolo growled.
"There won't be a door." Frikiza replied. "You aren't staying overnight, it's just for a day… and you're going on your own."
"What?" King Piccolo frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're going on your own." Frikiza said. "Without a guardian."

King Piccolo went silent again. So… what, he would be free to roam the Earth, without a babysitter? He would actually be let loose, free to go where he wanted and do what he wanted? There would be nobody there to stop him? Unbelievable… This was unbelievable! "Don't get too excited!" Frikiza warned, noticing the look of joy that was rapidly spreading across King Piccolo's face. "I'll be watching you from King Yemma's office, and if you even start misbehaving, I'm coming to get you!"
"Yes yes, of course…" King Piccolo mumbled, not taking her seriously. What was she going to do about it? By the time Frikiza got involved it would be too late. Unless Frikiza was going to stop him collecting the dragonballs? Oh, fuck… She was, wasn't she? Dammit! "You might as well come with me." King Piccolo muttered angrily. "If I can't gather the dragonballs, you can at least entertain me."
"You can gather the dragonballs." Frikiza said. "Just don't wish for anything bad."
"What…?" King Piccolo uttered, staring at her in disbelief.
"You heard me." Frikiza replied. "I'm going to let you gather the dragonballs." Her face suddenly turned serious, and she looked at him sternly. "Piccolo. I'm trusting you on this. You can gather them, I won't stop you – but if you hurt anyone in the process, or if you even think about wishing for something bad, I'll come to Earth and I'll kill you myself. Do you understand?"
"Completely, Dear." King Piccolo smirked. Oh, this was beautiful… She was such a fool. She really did believe he could be good, didn't she? She really believed he wouldn't wish for immortality, or to be the most powerful being in the universe, or for any number of other wicked things. That was why she was doing this. It had to be – it all made sense now. That was the reason Frikiza was letting King Piccolo go to Earth alone. It was a test. It was a test to see if all that hard work Frikiza had put into rehabilitating King Piccolo had paid off. This was Frikiza's chance to prove to herself that the little slither of imaginary good she so painfully believed to be in King Piccolo really did exist. This was her dying wish, wasn't it? To prove to everyone – herself included – that the evil Demon King Piccolo really could turn good. Well… That was a shame, because her dying wish would never be granted. Ha. Sorry, Frikiza. She would use the last week of her life to watch King Piccolo return to life and become immortal… and conquer the Earth.
"Don't look at me like that!" Frikiza scolded, noticing the victorious smirk on King Piccolo's lips. "You don't think I can stop you?"
"Frikiza, I know you can." King Piccolo purred, burying his face in her neck to distract her. Ha. Yeah, right. She was such a fool. How was she going to stop him? She wouldn't know he'd made a bad wish until it was too late. Her empty threats didn't scare him, because he knew they were empty. She couldn't stop him. Frikiza was fast, but King Piccolo knew she couldn't get from King Yemma's office to Earth before he could finish his wish – and if she thought he didn't know that, she was a fool. Oh, but how wonderful it was that she was a fool… A beautiful, sexy little fool.

King Piccolo locked his lips onto Frikiza's and kissed her firmly and passionately. He slid his hand up her thigh and caressed her roughly, then tightened his grip on her when she tried to move onto her front. "No." King Piccolo grunted. "I've changed my mind. Let me see your face." He watched Frikiza smile at him, seemingly touched. Why? He just wanted to look at that foolish little face of hers and those trusting little eyes, because they were the reason he was going to become the ruler of Earth tomorrow. Because she was so blissfully sweet and naïve, he would get everything he'd ever wanted since the day that runt Goku had sent him down here to rot. Ah, Goku… That little punk would die tomorrow – by King Piccolo's own hand. Finally, King Piccolo would have the revenge he deserved, the revenge he'd longed for, for so many years! And it was all thanks to Frikiza, and her blissful naivety… oh, yes! King Piccolo kissed Frikiza again, and in the midst of his excitement and lust he failed to notice a small tingling in his heart when she kissed him back, and a feeling of warmth that only occurred when she was nearby.