"Mom?" Summer asked stepping further onto the balcony, searching her mother for an answer.
"What are you doing out here honey?" Serena asked pushing her hair back. "I thought you were going to stay inside with Erik or Jenny."
"You didn't come back inside for a really long time," Summer said before tilting her head so she could look around Serena to Nate. "And then that lady, Blair, she told me something and I had to ask you about it."
Nate had his jaw clenched, his entire body was completely tense, his eyes kept fluttering from Serena to this little girl standing next to her, the one who was a replica of Serena but if you looked for it looked so much like him too.
"What did she tell you?" Serena said, getting a little angry about what Blair could have told Summer and wondering what Summer had heard when she came onto the balcony and if she should just tell her now or speak to Nate first and then talk to Summer when she has it all figured out herself.
"She said you knew who my dad was," Summer said, her voice breaking and Serena tensed as her daughter looked up at Nate. "Mom?"
Serena heard the desperation in her daughters voice for her to say that she has no idea what Blair was talking about but she couldn't lie to her straight out, she could feel Nate staring at her as well. "Honey, come here," Serena said holding her hands out to the girl and she stared down at them with tears in her eyes.
"You knew who my dad was this whole time?" she asked incredulously and Serena nodded and reached out to wipe the tears that slipped down Summers face only to have her hand batted away. "And you didn't tell me?"
"Summer," Serena started but the 12 year old cut her off.
"No mom," she said taking a step away from her mother and backing up against the wall. "Ever since I knew I was supposed to have a dad I wanted to know who he was and you always stood by the fact that you didn't know and I believed you because you would've told me the truth, I knew you would have, so I didn't ask because it made you sad when other people asked and you're my mom so of course you knew that I wanted to know."
"Baby-"
"But you knew who he was all along and you didn't tell me," Summer said wiping the tears rolling down her red cheeks. "We tell each other everything, how could you not tell me this? Didn't you think it was important enough? Didn't you think I could handle it? I'm 12 years old, I'm not a child anymore."
Serena let her head drop for a moment, she was supposed to tell Summer in her own time, she was supposed to talk to Nate first, to judge where he stood. She knew none of this was going to be easy but she was a fool to think she could control the circumstances regarding it.
"Is what you said just now true?" Summer asked staring at Nate, who just stood there, watching her. "About him?"
"I am ... I'm your ... your dad," he said as if still testing out the term and Summer stared at him shocked for a moment, watching him the way he was watching her before she turned to stare at her mother.
"Let's go inside and I will explain," Serena said reaching out to her daughter again.
"No, I don't want to go inside," Summer screamed turning to Nate and glaring at him. "Did you know? Did you not want me? Is that why she didn't tell me?"
Serena's heart sank as she listened to her daughter try to make sense of this by protecting her and blaming Nate for her secrecy.
"I had no idea," Nate told her quietly and Serena could hear the shock in his voice, how he stared at Summer in awe because she was his daughter.
Serena swallowed when Nate turned back to her and pressed her lips together for a moment as she gathered herself. "I can't do this," Summer said before Serena could speak, turning and running past Erik who had come to see what was going on. Erik shot his sister a worried look and ran after his niece.
Serena blew out a breath and wished she never returned to New York for the millionth time since she walked of that plane. "You had a life ahead of you, you had dreams and you had such high expectations from your family and if I told you I was pregnant you would have given it all up for me and the baby in a heartbeat and I couldn't let you do that."
"So you just decided to hide her from me?" Nate asked glancing back to the door where she just disappeared. "She's ... she's ... Serena she looks-"
"I know," Serena said nodding. "I think we need to get inside and explain to the rest of the family and I need to find my girl and, and ..."
"She's my girl too," Nate said and Serena bit her lip to stop the tears. "There's no way you're keeping her from me again."
"Ok," Serena said nodding, there was so much that still needed to be said and done but she could agree to this without putting up a fight. "Ok."
"God Serena what were you thinking?" Nate asked looking just about ready to scream.
"I had to keep her," she said and Nate rubbed his face. "And I couldn't mess up your life for us."
"Just stop," he said holding up a hand. "No more excuses, I don't think I can listen to them right now."
"Nate-"
"Tell Summer I'll be in touch if she decides to speak to you again," he said walking past her. "We'll talk if I decide to ever speak to you again."
Serena stormed back inside once she had composed herself and walked straight to Blair, hooking their arms together and smiling tightly at everyone watching as she pulled Blair away from Isobel.
"What the hell is your problem?" Serena asked, her voice dangerously low once they were alone.
"What the hell is yours?" Blair asked. "You pulled me away from a very important conversation."
"Oh I'm sure talking to Isobel about her handbag was riveting," Serena spat out. "You had no right to tell Summer what you did."
"You're right Serena, you were supposed to," Blair said tilting her head. "She has every right to know, I was being a good aunt and telling her the truth."
"That was not your decision to make," Serena said, tears springing to her eyes. "Did it ever occur to you that I was going to tell her on my own time? When things were calmer?"
"Did it ever occur to you that you were taking too long?" Blair retorted, frustrated with Serena. "There was no better time and I was not about to let Nate miss out on knowing who his daughter was."
"The better time would have been anytime after today when she attended the funeral of her great grandmother," Serena said and Blair's smile dropped, she wasn't thinking of that. "I know how long I took and I need to explain that to her but I needed to tell Nate and judge if he wanted her before I let her down."
"You actually had a doubt in your mind that Nate would turn her away?" Blair asked, twisting her mouth. "Who are you?"
"I didn't doubt it but I had to be sure, she's my daughter, I had to be sure," Serena said desperately and Blair clenched her jaw at the look on Serena's face, the need to protect her child. "Now she's gone and she's probably never going to talk to me again because she didn't find out from me."
"You should have thought about that Serena," Blair said shaking her head. "You were coming back to New York, where secrets spill out before you can blink and friends betray each other without warning, or don't you remember?"
"How did you even find out?" Serena asked rubbing her forehead.
"Look at her," Blair said. "Sure she looks like you at first glance but if you really look at her, all she is, is Nate, I know what happened before you left, I just had to put it together."
"You still shouldn't have said anything to her," Serena said. "She shouldn't be in the middle of whatever war we have here."
"She deserved to know, you can't blame me for telling her a truth that you hid from her," Blair said crossing her arms. "I don't know what you expected when you pulled me in here Serena, but if I were you I'd be more focused on what you're going to say to her to make her forgive you."
"Erik, I need to know that she's ok, just call me when you get this, please," she begged as she left her brother yet another message. She paced her room nervously as she waited for any news at all, she would have gone searching for Summer herself but she knew that Erik would be right behind her and the 12 year old would need as much space from her mother as possible right now.
"Sit down let's talk," Lily said barging into her room and shutting the door, Serena raised her eyebrows at her mother but continued to pace, even as Lily sat and watched her. "Do you want to tell me what happened this afternoon?"
"Not particularly no," Serena mumbled looking at her phone again.
"Well you're going to tell me anyway," Lily said crossing her legs. "I want to know why my granddaughter ran out of here in tears and why Nate stormed out not too much longer than that."
"I wouldn't know," Serena said shaking her head.
"Considering it's your daughter darling, I expect you to know," Lily said harshly and Serena turned to glare at her mother.
"Yeah like you knew what I was thinking when I was 12?" Serena asked raising an eyebrow, she didn't speak to her mother about those forgotten years, she didn't think she wanted an answer but right now all it sounded like was her mother judging her about how she was raising her own daughter and she couldn't stop herself.
"Serena," Lily sighed and Serena shook her head she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want explanations from her mother, she just needed to know that Erik was with Summer and that they were safe.
"I don't even care mom," Serena said throwing her hands up and letting out an exhausted breath. "All you need to know right now is that she's angry with me and I just want to pack her up and leave."
"You can't leave yet, you've only been back 2 days," Lily told her, Serena's original plan was just to stay the weekend and just decide with Summer if she wanted to extend that after she met Nate but now she just wanted to leave. Even though she knew that there was no way that was going to happen.
"And look at how well that has gone mom," Serena said checking her phone again. "Everyone is either annoyed that I'm back or pissed at me for leaving and now my daughter is angry at me and going back home is not going to fix that."
"Serena this is your home," Lily tried and Serena shook her head.
"It was my home, I left and now it's just a place I grew up too fast in," Serena told her jumping when her phone buzzed. "They're coming back up."
"She's confused and scared and not really sure what's going on right now," Erik said smiling softly at his sister when Summer raced past them and slammed her door. "She didn't tell me anything, I think she wants to talk to you first, so do you wanna fill me in on why I spent my afternoon running after a 12 year old."
"I told her who her dad was," Serena mumbled and Erik looked at Serena with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh," he said nodding and scratching his chin.
"Oh? That's all you're going to say?" Serena asked giving him a shocked laugh. "You knew?"
"Well I figured it out when I saw Nate standing there looking like he was going to faint," Erik said and Serena cringed. "I just thought you would have told Summer before that, you knew this was going to happen."
"Yeah, that seems like the theme of the day," Serena said pinching the bridge of her nose. "I just thought I could come here and see everyone and show Summer where I grew up and then tell then when the time felt right and run as far away as I could."
"You knew you were coming to New York right?" Erik asked nudging her and Serena groaned. "There's no way anything you wanted to keep secret was going to stay secret."
"I hate it when you're right," Serena mumbled and Erik grinned, he loved it.
"I usually am," Erik told her.
Serena nudged her brother and then looked back at the closed door. "Time to face the music."
"She'll understand your reasons," Erik said and Serena smiled at his encouragement. "She's forgiving like that."
"Hopefully she takes after Nate like that," Serena said smiling and opening the door carefully. Summer was lying on the bed, her back to Serena but Serena could see she was awake.
"I know you're angry with me," Serena said taking a breath. "There are things that you need to understand, when you decide you're talking to me again, I will tell you but just know that I love you so much."
A/N : I'm so late with this update I know, I'm sorry, especially after the way I left it, but guys look, new chapter lol
If you've been reading these authors notes you'd know that I've been very unsure about the direction that I was taking this story in, so I've scraped that idea and deleted everything, because I was getting nowhere, I have a better idea of what I'm doing now but the time between chapters might just be this long every update until I find the time to write ahead
Ok I hope that Nate and Summer and Serena's reactions were believable and that Blair's involvement was also in character
Please review and let me know what you think, and thank you so much for those wonderful reviews in the previous chapter
musicalblairs - ah i knew I was missing something when I wrote the Serena and Henry interaction! Him introducing himself in the Chuck Bass way would have been perfect
Anyway Until Next Time (^^,)