"She's still not talking to me," Serena told Erik the next day as she stared at her daughters closed door. "Maybe I should go in there and make her talk to me."
"What happened to the 'I'll let her come to me' attitude?" Erik asked his sister. "It's only been a few hours."
"I know but I had too much time to think about it," Serena told him. "That was a terrible idea."
"She's not in there anyway," Erik mentioned taking a long sip of his coffee and looking at his sister out of the corner of his eye.
"What?" Serena squeaked, speed walking to the door and throwing it open to find the room empty."Where is she?"
"Well Nate called this morning," Erik said carefully, watching his sister start to freak out internally. "He spoke to her and they decided that they wanted to get out of the house," Erik said, Serena bit her lip and smiled sadly because she and Erik both knew they wanted to get away from her. "I think he just took her for breakfast."
"And you couldn't have told me this?" Serena asked throwing her arms up. "I need to know where she is Erik, she doesn't know New York, what if she needs me?"
"Relax, she has her phone and she has me on speed dial," Erik said holding up his phone and giving his sister a sympathetic smile. "S, you told her something really huge yesterday, both of them, and it's going to- no, it has already changed everything, so you need to realize that and find a way to explain and get them to forgive you."
"I didn't do it to hurt them," Serena said sitting on the bed and pressing her fingers to her head. "Why did Blair have to tell her?"
"You can't blame Blair either," Erik said and Serena glared at her little brother but she knew he was right. "I'm just saying, I admit it was a sneaky move but you know as well as I do that no matter how she found out this would have been the result."
"But then I would have been the one to talk to her," Serena said groaning. "Now it's just going to be so much harder, I should have told her before we came here."
"Then why didn't you?" Erik asked, he always had Nate in his mind when he thought about Summer's father but he figured his sister really wasn't sure who Summer's father was and that's why she didn't tell the girl.
"I wanted to, every time I looked at her I wanted to, but then I thought of Nate and how he shouldn't have to give up his life because of what we did," Serena said and Erik frowned at her.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Erik said rolling his eyes. "Nate wouldn't have thought that way."
"I was 15 Erik, I didn't know how else to think," she said feeling as if something was caught in her throat and Erik walked over to sit next to her. "Then it just got harder to explain why I didn't say anything and she didn't even ask but grandma decided that it had to be done instead of her finding out a few years down the line and having our relationship become like ours with mom and I don't want that."
"Grandma was a smart woman," Erik said nodding. "I don't think Summer is at the age where you have infinite chances but she's not at the unforgiving years yet either, tread carefully."
"Thank you," Serena mouthed. "She's safe with Nate, so I think I'm going to go for a walk, and re-evaluate every life decision I've ever made."
"Don't get lost," Erik called as his sister stood up and walked out of the room, leaving him to sigh and shake his head after her wondering how someone so smart could get herself into such a big mess.
Summer sat awkwardly at the table looking down at her hands on the table and fiddling with her thumbs. She always just wished that maybe one day she'd meet her dad and when she did, she always thought it would be perfect and they'd hug and talk and laugh and be thick as thieves and play little pranks on her mom.
She didn't expect them to just sit in silence, commenting on the weather or the food. Where were all the questions he should have for her, didn't he want to know who she is? Was he as nervous as she was? There were so many things she wanted to ask him as well but she had no idea where to start, how would she even phrase the questions to ask her newly found father?
She looked up at Nate who seemed to be studying her and looked back down again, she didn't know how to hold eye contact with him, without feeling like she had to say something. Her eyes were always darker than her mother's and now she finally knew why, she could pick out other little things about the way he was and looked, she got excited every time she did because even though she'd never met him, she was still a part of him.
"I always thought you'd be a drug addict or a really bad guy," Summer said softly, biting her lip as she looked up at Nate and looked down again, picking at the last bits of her pancakes. "I thought if mom was really lying about not knowing you, at least she'd have a good reason for lying to me."
"I'm sure she had her reasons," Nate said, a little smile making its way onto his face as the little girl, no, his little girl made conversation with him, even if it was to tell him she didn't have very high hopes for him.
"Why are you protecting her?" Summer asked almost whining as she huffed and crossed her arms letting go of her fork and letting it clutter onto the table. Of all people who would try to convince her that her mother had her reasons for keeping this secret she never thought the man in front of her would be one of them.
"Your mom is alot of things but vindictive is not one of them, at least not from when I used to know her," Nate explained hoping that the 12 year old will understand. "I don't want to protect her but I believe her when she said she thought she was protecting us by doing this."
"How?" Summer asked exasperated, her parents were driving her mad, she didn't even have the time to get excited that she now thought of both parents not just her mom.
"I don't know," Nate said heavily amused by the child who was growing more and more frustrated with every answer, the smile on his face didn't help either. "But when you go back to Lily's I think you should talk to her, just trust me on this."
"Not even my dad for one day and you expect me to trust you that much," Summer said huffing and crossing her arms, the comedic effect of how light hearted that moment was considering the topic of conversation hit them both at the same time and Nate reached over to make a shushing motion to stop their loud laughs when people started looking their way.
"Now that we've broken the ice, I think we should leave before we get kicked out," Nate said grinning as he motioned to the waited and Summer nodded in agreement. "I have a feeling we might have a few more laughs like that."
"So you really think I should talk to mom?" Summer asked standing up and stretching, she wasn't used to waking up this early and she felt stiff. "I don't want her to think I'm ok with her keeping this from me for so long."
"I don't think you will be for a while but it won't hurt," Nate said guiding her out when he was done paying. "Plus I think that you miss her already, you two don't fight very often, do you?"
"Little things, we get on each other's nerves sometimes," Summer said crossing her arms to hold her elbows in front of her body as they walked. "This is the longest we've gone without speaking after a fight."
"Your mom loves you," Nate said, there were moments since he found out where he thought Serena was the most heartless person he'd ever known but there was no doubt that she loved Summer with everything she had. "Not everyone has that relationship, just look at her and your grandmother."
"Are you like that with your mom?" Summer asked, suddenly curious about this other grandmother that could exist.
"I have a ... different kind of relationship with my parents," Nate said thinking of a way to explain it without making his daughter run the other way. "We speak often enough, I wonder how she'll react to the fact that she's a grandmother."
Summer looked at Nate's amused face and wondered who his mother was and if she'd like being a grandmother to a 12 and a half year old, its questions like this that had been going through her head the whole night that she wished she could let go of her anger toward her mother and just go ask her for answers. "Can I call you dad?" Summer asked, till this moment she hadn't needed to call Nate a specific term, not even to get his attention, but that was the main question running through her mind.
Nate stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her, Summer swallowed nervously, tensing up slightly as she waited for his answer.
Nate was overjoyed, he was trying to find a way to ask her to call him 'dad' since that morning when he saw her, she was just like Serena, asking questions he hadn't fully formed in his mind or gathered enough courage to ask. "I'd like that a lot," he said smiling, his heart warming as she relaxed and smiled wide as well.
"Summer is back," Lily said when Serena walked through the door, she looked up startled at her mother, not expecting her to speak until Serena was well into the room.
"Yeah, Erik texted me when she got back," Serena said walking further into the room toward her mother.
"So Nate is her father," Lily said, looking at Serena like this is something that she should have been informed about. "I would say I'm surprised but it always confused me that he chose Blair over you."
"How'd you find out?" Serena asked dropping her bag onto the counter.
"When Nate brought Summer back about half an hour ago and she introduced him as her dad," Lily said shrugging slightly. "Imagine my surprise."
"Mom I would have told you sooner," Serena started but Lily held a hand up and shook her head.
"Erik explained that you wanted to speak to the main ones involved first," Lily told her. "Did your grandmother know?"
"Not because I told her," Serena said shaking her head, her mother only asked that so she could judge how much Serena told her Cece. "I don't know how she found out."
"Well your grandmother always knew things as soon as it happened," Lily said sighing. "It's one of those things I learned to live with as a teenager."
"Nothing got past her," Serena said smiling as she remembered her grandmother.
"Serena, darling," Lily said looking down at the ground and biting her lip as her expression became serious. "I want to talk to you about the circumstances around Summers birth and our relationship at the time."
"Can we talk about it some other time?" Serena asked shaking her head because she felt drained. "I just ... I think the next emotional talk I have needs to be with Summer or Nate or I'm going to lose it."
"Serena," Lily started but stopped at the look on Serena's face, choosing instead to nod and let it go for the moment, she's put of this conversation for such a long time, what's another 13 years.
"So, Summer called him dad?" Serena asked choosing to focus on that little bit of information.
"She did," Lily said grinning because her granddaughter was so excited at using the term to introduce him. "She gave him a hug and made him promise to take her out on the boat soon, I don't think I've ever seen her smile so much."
Serena looked down and smiled to herself, there was so much she could have done differently, that she should have done differently, telling Nate about Summer was definitely the first thing on that list. "I'm glad."
"Darling," Lily said gently reaching out to take Serena's hand in her own. "She'll come around, she loves you."
Serena smiled and squeezed her mothers hand, for all the times that she wasn't around and she wasn't a mother, Serena was so happy that she was trying now. "So I saw Aunt Carol at the cemetery," Serena said changing the subject. "She left quickly though."
"How did you even recognize her?" Lily asked with a laugh and Serena shrugged, she'd seen enough pictures to know who the woman was. "I was surprised she showed up, she cried, sat close to me and then decided she had a family emergency and rushed off, I'm not really sure what to make of it."
"How long has it been since you've seen her?" Serena asked smiling at her mother's annoyance.
"It was about the time that Erik was born," Lily said frowning deeply. "She just sent emails, didn't visit your grandmother once and all off a sudden she's acting like she was here all a long."
"You think she's up to something?" Serena asks watching the way her mother spoke.
"Oh I know she's up to something," Lily said sighing. "I just need to figure out what it is."
Summer clears her throat when she appears at the end of the hall and looks at Serena just as she's about to reply to Lily. She's standing awkwardly looking from her mother to her grandmother and shuffling her feet as she finally settled her gaze to Serena, before turning and walking back to her room.
"I think that means she's ready to talk," Serena said staring at the spot her daughter was just at.
"Well you said the next emotional talk you have will be with her," Lily reminded her and Serena smiled tiredly and nodded. "Good luck darling."
A/N : So this is possibly a very disappointing chapter or just a starting point to recovery, I've written and rewritten this chapter quite a few times and in the first few drafts Nate and Summer were not involved in anyway but after a while I sort of figured that I needed them to have a conversation as awkward as the one they had was lol and I actually liked how that turned out
I wanted Summer and Serena to have a full chapter for the talk they needed to have but I didn't want it directly after the last chapter so this is a filler just to cushion against all the angst if that makes sense, I'm really glad you guys are enjoying it
Thank you guys for all the reviews, I love reading your thoughts on evil Blair and where I'm taking this story
nite255 - I've been thinking of ways to bring Nates family into this since it started haha but I do want to, so maybe in the next few chapters I can fit them in :P
Please review and let me know what you think
Until next time (^^,)