The song here is "Home" by Gabrielle Aplin

Home

They were on their way back home, but stopped off mid-way for gas and some food, since Sam's stomach was nearly roaring up a protest at Dean's consistent speeding. Castiel was silent in the backseat and never stepped out as Dean filled up the gas tank while Sam bought the food. The whole time, Castiel just sat there as if his mind was elsewhere. At first, it didn't bother Dean, but by the time they were back in the Impala, ready to go, he grew worried.

He looked back at his friend who had his hands balled up together on his lap and his eyes set down on his them. He had never seen Castiel so quiet for so long. What possibly could be bothering him?

"Castiel?" Dean asked and it was as if the angel didn't hear him. "Cas." He added and again, nothing. "Cas!" he said louder, which snapped his friend out of his daze. He looked up and his eyes seemed nearly clouded, as if he was still deep in thought. "What's up?" he asked and Castiel looked back down at his hands again.

"It's nothing." he said and this time, even Sam looked back with concern. The brothers exchanged glances and looked back at the silent angel in the back seat.

"Talk to us, Cas." Dean said and Castiel remained still, but then nodded his head and looked out the window. They had never seen him like this? Was it seeing Gadreel and Anne, starting their own family? Did it remind him of Jimmy, his vessel, and his family?

"Every angel, existing and fallen, has a mission. I thought I had a mission, but my existence now seems useless. What am I to do now?" he asked, all without looking away from his window. His eyes were full of sadness, which was odd since angels don't often experience emotion. However, as they knew best, Castiel wasn't like the others.

"You're not useless." Sam said and Dean quickly added in agreement.

"You've been there with and for us all this time. You're the most useful and reliable angel out of Heaven. Those angels think they have a mission in their life, but they're blind, man. And Gadreel? Being human, the only thing he knows is Anne." Dean said, but he glanced at his brother, uncertain he was getting through to Castiel. He glanced back at his friend and wasn't sure what else to say.

"They were my family." Castiel said, nearly mumbling. Dean just stared at him, as if that reminded him of his family and how much he missed them. However, he didn't snap out of it fast enough to reply.

"We're you're family too." Sam said and Castiel shifted his eyes towards Sam who smiled softly. That got Castiel to smile weakly, as if to say he appreciated the sentiment.

"Yes, you are." He said and he glanced at Dean who gave a half smile of agreement.

All three seemed satisfied and returned to the road. Although silence filled the car, it wasn't a bit awkward, but peaceful. The roar of the Impala's engine was all that could be heard, but it was somewhat soothing.

Then, as if to change the atmosphere, Dean turned on the radio and it was a song that got him to tap the steering wheel with his hands along to the beat. Sam let out a small laugh as he watched his brother while Castiel's smile broadened slightly.

However, it wasn't enough to keep Castiel out of his gloom.

It wasn't so much the angels or Gadreel having missions that bothered him, but the fact that he could hear the angels in Heaven, Micah taking charge and being followed by the angels. He was an excellent leader and the angels were loyal to him.

He wanted to rally their forces and find a way to return the balance. It wasn't so much defeating Hell and closing it for good, but reducing it to what it was once. He wanted to rid the world of hybrids that help enhance the power of a place, such as Hell in a case of war. For some reason, the angels actually liked the idea. Not only that, but they believed that if Clara and her child were dead, Jane, the Nephilim, would upset the balance; so it was decided she would die as well.

They wanted to defeat Hell and now they were agreeing with Micah to kill Clara and her child so they could return the Universe to its perfect balance? This unsettled Castiel and it was mainly why he was so saddened.

Did he believe that killing hybrids such as Clara would solve the problem? Did he believe that keeping a balance was the key? Did he believe that Jane also had to die? Did he believe that the angels were mindless followers being blinded by Micah's beliefs?

Or was he angry that the angels shunned him so he's naturally resorting to rebelling to their beliefs and their grand plan?

He didn't know. What he did was that the Winchesters wanted Hell defeated, if not destroyed, and the Cromwells wanted Clara and her child safe from harm.

The question was, what did he want?