Trigger Warning. Mentions of Panic, And Extreme Weight Loss. No topics are lingered on, they are brief mentions. TY.
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"Why are you doing that?" she asked, shock flitting through every cell in her body at his confession. "Why are you looking for my parents killer?"
Draco raised a hand to his face and rubbed at his tense expression. He looked defeated, and... tired. So very tired.
"Hermione, when I found out what happened, I was angry. I was furious that you, who'd suffered so much, was dealt this painfully evil hand to live with and I felt compelled to.. to help. You're so... pure. The pain you experience, its just- its not right. I don't know. Hermione... I didn't save you from torture once... I can't just stand by this time. I became an Auror, no matter how difficult it was since no one trusted me at first, I did it for you, Hermione. To help you."
Draco was watching her, earnestly trying to decipher the emotions filtering across her face. She was struggling with everything he'd said. She thought briefly on how he'd never said so many words at one time to her before, and it was odd. She then focused on what he was actually saying and she felt her chest tighten, her breathing was becoming labored and she felt a light sweat break across her skin.
"Draco... Draco..." She shakily whispered, panic rising in her voice. He instantly pulled her into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around her waist and speaking softly to her.
"Follow my voice, Hermione. Breath, and follow me back..."
Hermione was shaking, and she was suddenly bombarded with the images from her nightmare. Seeing the blood on the floor, the glint of the blade handles, her barely conscious parents... She could taste the bile on her tongue, and made a choked gagging sound. Draco quickly pulled his wand, and summoned the small bin by the dressor and rested it under her chin just as she retched forward into it. She couldn't breath, and even though her stomach was empty, she continued to heave into the bin. Draco was rubbing calming circles over her lower back with one hand, and pulling her hair away from her face with the other.
"Hermione, follow me back. Don't fly off to whatever lonely place you're trying to escape to." He whispered by her ear as she gasped and shook and clutched the bin. Slowly, she found enough strength to latch onto his words and find herself back in his room on his bed while he used a spare napkin to wipe clean her mouth and chin.
"Come out with me today." He whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. She stared back, still shaking and knowing she should be angry, or upset or scared by what he'd said to her today. She should make him explain himself further. Make him leave her alone forever and tell him for the hundredth time that she would go nowhere with him...
"Okay. Let's go."
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Hermione was looking at herself in the mirror in her room after a calming shower. She stood in only her bra and knickers, which she needed to charm to fit since she'd lost so much weight. She had not properly looked at herself in so long. She couldn't help but feel disappointed for allowing this to go as far as it has. She looked so frail. Her ribs were prominent, and she barely had anything hiding the bones of her arms, legs and face. She looked so sick and ghostly. It was a wonder Harry and even Draco could bother to look at her for very long.
She sighed, and pulled a jumper over her head and some simple muggle denim jeans over her legs and bum. The clothing hung extremely loose on her frame, and she shook her head. She didn't know how to fix this, and by no means was she referring to her too large clothing.
Insufferable know it all, indeed. she thought, bitterly remembering the naivety of her youth.
A light knock came from her door, and the usual tapping that let her know Draco was waiting for her response. She waved her hand and the door opened. She turned to look at the blond man in the doorway. He wore a simple black coat over a black jumper and some black slacks and his ridiculously polished black shoes.
"Ready?" he asked quietly, offering a small smile. She shook her head and he laughed softly. He extended a hand out to her, palm up, and she slowly walked over to take it. "I will keep you safe, Granger." He said smoothly, and once she'd slipped her flats on, they headed downstairs and out the doors into the cool, bustling street of Diagon Alley.
Hermione nervously gripped onto Dracos arm. She had not come out into the Alley during the day time in years. The amount of people moving around her made her extremely uncomfortable and by how she was squeezing his arm, she could tell another breakdown was going to happen.
"Hermione." Draco firmly turned to her and forced her to look at nothing and no one else except him. "You are okay. You are safe."
She was letting out ragged breaths now, her eyes beginning to glisten with tears unshed and her brow was furrowed anxiously. Someone passing bumped into her, sending her straight into Draco's arms. She whimpered into his chest, but he pulled her upright once more and made her look at him.
"Hermione, you are in no danger. Do you trust me?" he asked quietly, stroking her flushed cheek gently.
She was drowning in his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat. How was it possible that he could be so gentle with her? Everyday since she stumbled into his presence, he'd been so kind to her, without hesitation. Did he really mean it when he said he thought her life unfair and all he wanted was to help make things right? She couldn't comprehend this. It was too much. But he'd asked her if she trusted him. Did she? She had wondered that very morning if he still meant to kill her. It was a half hearted thought, and she only managed to confuse herself. But right now, this moment, she felt safe. She knew he would not let anything happen to her.
"Yes, Draco." She answered just as quietly. He smiled down at her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, making every part of her tingle.
"Come on." He said, taking her hand and leading her down the Alley. She noticed they were getting looks from some of the people passing that realized who they were. It must look rather odd, after all.. Draco Malfoy walking hand in hand with a sickly Hermione Granger, that up until that day, her location was unknown. She hadn't even considered the reaction when she agreed to come out with him today. She had not shown herself publicly in so long. People would be shocked at the state of her. She would purposefully be avoiding the Daily Prophet for quite awhile.
"Come in here." Draco's voice pulled her back to the present and saw he was leading her into Flourish Blotts. Hermione let out a gasp, the interior was different. The owner had reworked the front room and created a small seating area amongst the bookcases where customers could relax and read comfortably. She also noted the warmer colors painted on the walls and there were more candles floating around than usual. It felt so cozy and warm and suddenly Hermione's anxiety melted away.
"I thought we could enjoy some time here, but it's also quiet enough for you." He said, looking expectantly to her.
"It's perfect. Thank you, Draco." She hugged him gently and made her way to some of the shelves, brushing her fingers across the spines of the well loved tomes. She allowed the scent of the old books to envelope her. She felt the tingle of her magic extend outward. Part of it seeking out the call of these leatherbound treasures, but part of it also seeking out the presence of a certain blond nearby. She allowed a small smile to grace her lips as she walked slowly onward. She couldn't understand how Draco was doing it, but he elicited feelings in her that had long been dead and buried. She finally felt a hint of contentment and bliss between these ancient elm walls. She looked in his direction. He was buried in a book a few feet away from her, a look of amusement on his face. She smiled again, and continued on, just happy to feel the caress of the old books across her fingertips.
After awhile, they'd both found some books and settled into the cushioned chairs in the middle of the room, surrounded by book cases and ferns and a small table. Draco had gotten them some tea from the shop next door and they quietly let time pass as they lost themselves in their chosen stories. Hermione stole glances every now and than of the man next to her, and tried to sort out what she was feeling toward him. He was just as secretive about his inner workings as she was, if not more so. Still, she couldn't help but latch herself to him since that first late night stroll down the Alley. Turning her attention back to her book, she continued to read long after the sun had gone down. The voice of the shop owner is the only thing that snapped her out of its focus, reminding them they would be closing in fifteen minutes.
She and Draco stood, stretching out their limbs. He gently took the books from her arms and said he'd pay for them so she could take them back to the hotel. She started to protest but he gave her a withering look, so she promptly shut her mouth. She was grateful anyway, it got awfully boring in her little room at the Leaky Cauldron. It would be nice to have new books to read for once. Harry used to try and bring her things to read, but her disinterest stemmed from her unwillingness to live. If she didn't want to live, what was the point in gaining new knowledge? He'd stopped trying after a couple months.
Now though, Draco was here stirring up old flames within herself and once again being amongst all these books that resonated old magic and new, she couldnt ignore the hum of her own powers as they began to crave the tomes once more.
"Let's go eat, Hermione." Draco said as they walked out of the shop. Hermione hesitated. "What's wrong?" he asked, stopping a few paces ahead of her when he realized she hadn't followed.
"I don't want to, Draco. Everyone will just stare..." She looked down at her feet, ashamed of herself for admitting the discomfort that suddenly returned.
He watched her for a moment before reaching for her again. She grasped his hand and looked into his eyes.
"Okay, let's go back to the Inn."
She nodded and followed him quietly as he led them through the now smaller crowd.
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"Draco?" Hermione called to him as he stood staring at some of the books on her table. He hummed in response.
"Draco, I... I want you to stop looking for my parents killer." she said, so quietly, he had to strain to hear her. His head snapped up, a look of shock and disdain in his eyes.
"Granger, what!?" he hissed. She winced at his tone. He was always so gentle with her. This sudden shift in his demeanor caught her off guard.
"You have to stop. Let Harry or someone else do it." she said, averting her gaze from the blond. He straightened his back and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Why? I am qualified, same as Potter or anyone else." he replied stiffly.
She felt extremely nervous now. She thought this was best and was resolute in her decision, however now, with him glaring at her like that, she wasn't so sure anymore.
"I have a feeling this is too personal for you... and clearly someone didn't like you snooping, if there is anything to be surmised with how I found you that evening..." her words drifted, and she began to fidget under his scrutinizing gaze. He shook his head slowly.
"No." he said and this time it was Hermione that snapped her attention back on him. "I will never stop until I find whoever is responsible."
"Draco!" Hermione could not believe what she was hearing. He was so willing to endanger his life, for what? Revenge? Revenge that wasn't even for his own cause.
"Hermione, you may not realize this, but I keep my promises. I promised to watch over you, and while whoever killed your parents is free, you remain at risk." he said simply.
She watched the tension pulse off him, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek just to prevent herself retorting. She understood. She didn't have to like it, though. She sat on the edge of her bed, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, and watched him intently. With a curt nod, she decided it best to end the conversation, for now.. Just then, there was a knock on her door. Draco discreetly slipped his wand from his long jumper sleeve, just incase.
"Hermione, It's me, Harry." called her friend from the other side of the door.
She looked quickly at Draco, but there was no use in stalling. Harry would only get impatient, and she knew whether it be two seconds or twenty minutes, these men would snip at each other regardless. With a wave of her hand, the lock on her door released and the door swung gently open. The raven haired man entered her room and immediately stopped at the sight of Malfoy.
"What the bloody fuck are you doing here?" he hissed angrily. Draco scoffed and rolled his eyes. Hermione sighed.
"Harry, stop that." she sounded so tired. Harry glanced in her direction for a moment before his eyes flicked back over to the Slytherin by the window.
"That's not an answer." he gritted out through clenched teeth.
Hermione could see Draco lock his jaw tightly, obviously trying to avoid saying any scathing remarks in her presence.
"I am enjoying Grangers company, clearly Potter, can't you see or did those glasses of yours break again?"
Hermione heaved herself up before Harry could respond.
"What is it, Harry? Come to check I'm still alive and well?" she asked. Her eyes rested on his stressed expression and he turned to her finally letting his focus readjust.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, Hermione. Work has been... well, anyway. Have you been eating?" his eyes surveyed her petite form, and though she still looked frail and too thin, she clearly had a new flush to her complexion that hadn't been there in quite some time, and more of her womanly curves had returned, even if only a little. She nodded, gesturing slightly to Draco.
"He has come everyday and sat with me until I eat enough to satisfy his demands." she stated simply. Harry clenched his fists by his side's, she could have sworn she saw a sliver of guilt in his eyes.
"Yes, well, that's good. That you're eating, I mean." Harry mumbled. Then looking directly into her eyes again, he stepped forward a bit. He spoke gently. "You do look much better from when I last saw you, Hermione."
She offered him a small smile and reached out to him. He strode forward quickly and pulled her into a delicate hug. He buried his face into the dip of her shoulder and neck and inhaled deeply. She felt wetness upon her flesh and knew he was shedding long held back tears for her.
"Harry..." she whispered, stroking her hand over his soft, unruly hair. From the corner of her eye, she saw Draco step around them. He paused a moment to look at her and she gave him a reassuring smile that she would be fine. He nodded and quietly left the room, shutting the door silently behind him.
"Hermione, I-I'm so-sorry I am f-failing you!" her bespectacled friend sobbed, pulling back from her to search her eyes for any hints of shame or despair.
She gently placed her fingertips over his trembling lips and moved them to wipe away his tears. She placed the tip of her finger to the tip of his nose and smiled brilliantly at him. He gazed in wonder at the sight. It had been so long.
"Stop that." she said gently. He roped his arms around her waist again and gripped her in a tighter hug.
"You're my best friend. I tried so hard. I didn't want to give up on you. I was giving up, Hermione. I'm so sorry. It took everything I had to come here today. I don't want to turn my back on you." Harry lamented into her hair. She felt a shiver along her spine at the warmth of his breath on her skin, and rubbed one hand along his shoulder blade in comfort.
"You've been a wonderful friend, Harry. Never once did I feel you gave up on me, even on the worst days. On the days I did and said things to you that should have garnered your hatred for me. You are not a failure, Harry Potter. You're a good man with a good heart. Thank you for being here for me, even if it took me this long to see it." Hermione said, a newfound longing and strength in her voice. She felt Harry shudder again and this time his sobs were loud and unrestricted as he held onto her, hoping she knew how much he regretted his past behavior, and his determination to make it up to her.
She knew. She always knew, when it came to her best friend.
End Chapter 5