Serena wrinkled her nose when something touched it and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, she was exhausted, she didn't want to open her eyes.
A feather or something like that brushed against her nose and she shook her head and covered her face with her arm. Her body was heavy with sleep and she could feel an uncomfortable stabbing pain on her left shoulder because she slept in such an uncomfortable position.
Serena frowned as she opened her eyes, expecting the decor at her room at her mothers apartment, she jolted up with a start to look at the lounge and open plan kitchen of an unfamiliar apartment. She heard giggling from her side and found Summer grinning at her, holding her hair up like she was getting ready to use it again.
"What are you doing here?" Summer asked leaning against her mother's stomach and raising an eyebrow.
"Where is here?" Serena asked looking around as her sleepy mind tried to remember where she ended up after her flight. "Nate."
"Well you're in his apartment," Summer said looking suspiciously at her mother. "What are you doing here?"
"I um ... I came here to see you when I landed in New York last night," Serena said, pulling up the blanket and holding her arms out for Summer to cuddle with her. "I must've fallen asleep, where's Nate?"
"I don't know, his room was empty when I woke up," Summer said settling into her mothers arms. "He left his phone in his room, Lola texted him."
"What'd you do?" Serena asked, because there was no way her kid saw something from Lola and didn't do anything about it.
"Nothing," Summer buried her face against Serena's chest and mumbled something into her shirt, Serena poked her side and Summer lifted her head enough to be audible when she spoke. "I just deleted the text and cleared her name from dads call logs."
"You don't think he's going to find that suspicious?" Serena asked shaking her head, she'd told Summer to stay out of it too many times, she wasn't about to sound like a broken record. She was kinda hoping her daughter might cause some drama between them but she wasn't going to admit that to anyone.
"No," Summer set her mouth in a straight line and glared at Serena, frustrated at her for poking holes in the plan. She was going to do whatever she could to make life difficult for Lola to be with her dad, Lola was going to leave and her dad would realized how ridiculous she was and how much he loved her mom, and then they would get back together and they'd be a family and Lola would be so far out of the picture that they wouldn't even remember her name.
"Ok, no Lola talk, tell me all about yesterday and your grandparents and Grandfather," Serena said trying to get Summer back her pre-Lola mood. "I spoke to your dad a little last night and he said you guys had fun, what did you do?"
"It was so cool..." Summer began as she recounted every detail about the day before. The anger that started to build up earlier completely disappeared.
"How far away from Anne do you think I need to stay when they come visit you?" Serena asked with a grin.
"Not that far actually," Summer said and Serena raised an eyebrow. "They're not really happy with you but from what I heard, they kinda dislike Lola more."
"How did you hear this?" Serena asked, quite sure that Anne would never discuss her dislike of anyone, even a caiter-waiter, in front of a child.
"I might have eavesdropped," Summer said giving her mother an 'I'm not sorry' face. "What? I was curious about what they were saying when they thought I wasn't listening and what they really thought of me," Summer said at Serena's disappointed face. "Grams always said that people spoke about what they really felt when they thought no-one was listening."
"12 years of trying to teach you the right and wrong way, all for nothing," Serena said throwing up her hands and Summer bit her lip to hold back a laugh. "If Grams were here, she'd be in huge trouble."
"Mom," Summer said thoughtfully after a moment, and Serena's heart leapt to her throat at the seriousness on her daughters face. "I want to stay in New York, you asked me before and I made my decision, I want to stay here."
"If we go back home, your dad and his family can always come visit us in LA," Serena told her, it was a big decision, they would be moving half way across the country and Serena would have to fly over every other week or so because that's where her business was based.
"I know all that," Summer said shrugging looking down at the blanket. "I just don't want to see them once a year like we did with grandma Lily, especially now that I know dad."
"Your father would never let that happen," Serena told her and Summer nodded, still looking down and tracing the patterns with her finger. "What about your friends?"
"I'm gonna tell them later, I'm going to miss Lauren and Hannah the most but we can keep in touch," Summer said and Serena smiled sadly as she touched her grown up baby girls hair, she was maturing faster than Serena was ready for her to. "Besides, I want to see dad every day and Grandma Lily and Rufus and his kids are kinda fun to be around now and Uncle Erik is close by and I want to know dad's family more and I'll make new friends eventually."
"Are you kidding? You'll make friends on the first day of school, they'll love you," Serena said tugging on the end of Summers hair. "If you're sure, I'll make the arrangements."
"I'm sure," Summer said smiling shyly as she finally looked up to meet her mothers eyes and Serena pulled her in for a hug.
"Looks like we're moving to New York," she said, blowing out a nervous breath as soon as her daughter was looking away from her, there was so much to plan and think about and do, and even though Summer wanted to live here and she, herself missed New York, she couldn't help but feel like she wasn't ready.
"Woah what's happening here?" a voice came from behind them and Serena jumped but Summer giggled and jumped up from her place to greet her father.
"Hi dad, what did you get for me?" she asked digging into the bag of goodies he handed to her. Blair was right next to them with Henry on her hip trying to see what Summer was so excited about. Blair shot her a confused look and raised an eyebrow and Serena shook her head.
"I bumped into Blair while I was getting coffee," Nate said taking one of the cups and handing it to Serena who inhaled gratefully. "And she insisted on invading my private space."
"I did no such thing, did I Henry?" Blair said smirking and Nate rolled his eyes when Henry agreed with his mother. "What was happening just now, it looked like we walked in on a pretty emotional moment."
"we oving ack ew owk," Summer said trying to talk with her mouthful.
"Chew, swallow, now talk," Serena said, cringing at her daughters lack of manners.
"We're moving to New York," she said brightly after she had swallowed the pastry she was eating.
"Really?" Nate asked, half way between being really excited and trying to figure out if they were messing with him.
"Really, I spoke to the school when I thought she might want to move back and ... oof," Serena had her breath knocked out of her when Nate hugged her quickly before moving on to spin Summer.
Blair watched in amusement at the scene in front of her, it was like she walked into a blond family moment. "Since I assume she's going to be going to Constance, she's going to need accessories to go with that uniform and I'll have to teach her the proper ways to use those accessories, you can't be a slob like your mother, or even your father come to think of it."
"Hey," both Serena and Nate protested, but Blair just shrugged.
"I'm taking you shopping so you need to change, go on," Blair said and Summer giggled but obeyed and ran to the room she was staying in to change, waving Serena off when she told her to brush her hair. "You guys can sort out her uniform, but I have 12 years of gifts to catch up on as Godmother."
"What makes you think you'd be her Godmother?" Nate asked and Blair shot him a look that said 'Please, who else would it be'.
"Momma I don't wanna shop," Henry said leaning down so he can be put down. "I wanna stay with Uncle Nate."
"I know baby but he and Aunty Serena need to talk," Blair said and Serena and Nate avoided each others eyes. "You can show Summer all your favourite places to hide in the shops and we can go to the park after, you like Summer?"
"Yeah I do," Henry said, still not convinced about leaving his fun Uncle for a morning of shopping with his mother but he also really liked Summer and she was a kid like him so maybe she'd be more fun.
"I'm ready lets go," Summer said flying out of her room like a tornado and screaming a quick, "Bye parents, love you," as she and Henry raced down the hall to the elevator. Blair frowned and called out to them as she tried to run in her heels.
"She's going to regret that," Serena said watching them slip into the elevator. Nate nodded as he closed the door and came to sit down on the couch next to hers. "Thank you for letting me stay last night, and for the blanket."
"Well I couldn't wake you up and tell you to leave," Nate said as Serena folded the blanket and nodded. "I was going to ask you to stay anyway but you were snoring by the time I looked over at you."
"I was not snoring," Serena said horrified and Nate burst out laughing. "You are not funny, Nate Archibald."
"You guys are really staying in New York," he asked after a moment and Serena nodded.
"I spoke to Summer some time ago, told her to think about it, and this morning she decided that she wanted to stay here," Serena said picking at the end of the blanket. "I think maybe she feels that if she strays too far away from you, she's going to lose you and I don't think she can handle even the thought of that."
"You didn't want to move back?" Nate asked, getting the feeling that she didn't.
"I don't know," Serena whispered and Nate's face turned hard, Serena held up her hand and tried to explain herself before he got angry with her, or started hating her again. "It's alot to think about and do, I just need some time to decide what to do about the business and everything else."
"Ah yes, you've taken over the business," Nate said, remembering that she told him that in one of the first conversations they had.
"Luckily I don't need to be there every day but I will need to be there often enough," Serena said sighing. "I'll speak to Chuck later, he'll help me with my business woes."
"If you ever need a lawyer..." Nate threw out there and Serena smiled gratefully and nodded.
That sat for a minute in silence and Serena was beginning to feel like she had overstayed her welcome, she cleared her throat and made to stand up but Nate's voice stopped her.
"It still doesn't feel real," he said and Serena tuned to look at him, he was looking at the wall ahead of him blankly and she sat back down and watched him think. "Having her as my daughter I mean, it feels like this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up in the morning and you won't be here anymore and she'd be gone and my life would be empty again."
Serena swallowed nervously as she watched Nate struggle to find the words that would properly explain what he was feeling to her.
"Don't get me wrong, I loved my life before, being with Lola, spending time with Chuck and Blair and being Henry's Godfather, watching him grow," Nate said wistfully, smiling in a way that let her know how much seeing Henry grow up and having a hand in that meant to him, how much he wished he could have done the same for Summer. "But since that morning that I woke up and they told me you were gone, something was missing, it's like you took a part of me with you, I just didn't know how literal that part was until this year."
Serena bit her lip and smiled slightly, she knew how he felt, even though she left and she had their baby with her, she left her heart in New York with him and that was a part of her that she could never get over missing.
"When we met at central part it was like my world snapped back into focus, New York felt like home again," he said and Serena felt her heart twist because that's exactly what she felt when she saw him that day. "And then you introduced me to your daughter and it almost fell apart again until I realized her surname was van der Woodsen, I still can't believe I didn't put it all together the moment I saw her, I mean the timing and her age and you can tell by looking at her who's daughter she is."
"I think the shock of meeting my 12 year old daughter stopped you from really thinking about it," Serena told him and Nate huffed out a laugh and shook his head a little before looking at her.
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this," he said softly looking into her eyes and Serena felt her breath catch in her throat. "I've been telling everyone I could never forgive you but I think I was just trying to make myself believe that, I can't hate you Serena, no matter what you've done I can never hate you."
Serena pressed her trembling lips together and closed her eyes, only then did she realize she was crying. Nate looked close to tears as well but he was controlling his emotions much better than she was.
"Can you tell me about her?" he finally asked. "About what she was like when she was she was a baby, things that only you would know, things I should know."
Serena wiped her cheeks and nodded heartily. "Where do I begin?"
A/N : So again I apologize for the long wait, I am really bad at updating with this story, real life is hard guys
I do hope you enjoyed this chapter and everything that happened in it, this story is just such fun to write and I really don't want it to end but I feel like its coming to a close, I'm enjoying dragging it out and I hope you guys enjoy reading it at this slow pace
I felt that it was time for Serena and Nate to talk about Summers past, originally I wanted to write out that conversation but after a month of trying, I think I'm going to post this and move on with this story without that chapter, but I do want to add a scene or memory of Summer as a baby or her pre-Nate years, so look out for that
Please review and let me know what you think, I love reading your reviews and thoughts
Until next time (^^,)