Kili was laying on his back in his bed, staring up at his high bedroom ceiling. He felt like his heart was broken, at least he supposed that's how he felt, because he had never felt that way before. It was stupid to feel that way, he knew, because Ila was not in love with him. But he was sure that she would be, if she only knew him, if she only had the chance to get to know him as more than her "nephew," He hated that, he was not her nephew and she was not his aunt.
What broke his heart today though was the announcement that Ila was with child. It had been a week since she fainted at the practice arena, and the apparent cause had not been evident immediately. Thorin had not told him and Fili that he was to be a father until earlier that day, before he made the announcement to the entire kingdom at supper. Everyone was overjoyed of course, Thorin especially. Siring an heir had taken no time, assuming of course that Ila would have a boy which was very likely since most dwarf births were. The celebrations at supper were still going on, but Kili had quietly excused himself as he was not in a particularly festive mood. Luckily everyone was too busy celebrating to notice.
Fili had outwardly been excited, but Kili knew he was a little disappointed on the inside. He had spent almost his entire life as the heir apparent. Now, he was out of the running for certain. He had realized a while ago that that was most likely going to be the case, but there is a difference between that being the case and there only being the likelihood that that be the case.
As for himself, Kili was saddened because somehow a baby made her even more Thorin's. Not that she wasn't completely and totally his before. But she was carrying his child now. And not that Kili wanted a child at this point in his life, but he would have much rather Ila be pregnant with his little dwarf than his uncle's if he had a choice.
Ila would never love him now, he thought. Not now that she had Thorin's baby in her belly. He sighed and closed his eyes. He would not stop trying of course. He should, he knew that. It was treason to love her. But he couldn't help it. He loved her, and he could do nothing to amend that. He also knew that it was foolish to want try to court her at all, for fear of being found out, but uncle was a busy dwarf, and he was sure it could be done. Kili was a skilled warrior and a good hunter, he could evade his uncle to romance Ila, if she would allow him. But now that she was going to have a baby it would take all her attention and devotion. As it should, but Kili couldn't even help being jealous even of it.
How stupid he was being he thought, being jealous of a little dwarfling that hadn't even been born yet. A little dwarfling that would spend countless hours in her arms, sleeping on her chest, nursing at her bosom, etc. etc. etc. Kili balled his fists and wanted to kick his bed against the wall and clean out from under him. She was driving him insane. He wanted nothing more than to just forget her. For her to be just another face, another subject in the kingdom of Erebor. But she wasn't. She was the object of his deepest desires, and he could not shake himself from the spell she had him under. He just couldn't. He just couldn't.
Not far away in the royal chambers, Ila was just settling down for bed. Thorin was still down stairs in the great hall, taking drinks and celebrating the announcement of her pregnancy. It seemed he might have too much and Ila saw she should go ahead to bed. She was tired anyway. Her morning sickness had begun to trouble her, the onset of which is mainly what confirmed her pregnancy, other than the fact that she felt weak in general. That was to be expected, Oin had said. Dwarven pregnancies only took six months, and so it did not take long for the signs to show. As Dwala undressed her and she made her way to the bed, Ila pulled her dressing gown tight against her body.
No bulge yet. Not that she expected there to be.
Ila laid down gently and frowned. She still felt sick and had all day.
"What's the matter?" Dwala asked.
"Oh nothing. I just thought morning sickness was only supposed to be in the morning."
" As I recall mother was sick with my younger brothers quite a lot." Dwala replied.
" Oh, good." Ila said and tried to make herself comfortable.
" Here, I'll put this next to your bedside in case you feel sick too quickly to rise." Dwala said as she placed a large ceramic bowl next to her on the floor.
"Thank you, I'm almost sure I'll need it." Ila replied weakly.
Dwala smiled and sat next to her.
"Do you need anything else?" She asked.
Ila shook her head. "No. Go back downstairs and rejoin the fun. I just want to lay here until I fall asleep, whenever that will be."
" Are you sure? Thorin -"
"-does not intend for you to watch me sleep. Go join the celebration." Ila said.
Dwala smiled and tucked Ila in before leaving. Ila rested her hands on her belly and closed her eyes, determined to be asleep soon so that she would at least not know she was sick. She hoped Thorin would not get sick himself downstairs. She could not tend to him like this. She was so nauseous and their bed felt so good. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought of all the things she couldn't wait to do with their little dwarfling. She was so ready for him to be here! She didn't know how she was going to wait six, long months for him to finally be in her arms….
Dwala had done as she was instructed upon putting Ila to bed and hurried back downstairs to rejoin the celebration. She could hear said celebration well before she reached the great hall. Erebor had not had the birth of a first born, a true heir, since Thorin's birth some 195 years earlier. Dwala would not be surprised if the drinking and feasting lasted late into the night. She was eager to have another drink herself, and to see a certain someone.
She entered the great hall, taking care to maneuver through the many rowdy and sloshed dwarves, searching the room for Dwalin. They had been "making eyes" as Ila called it at each other the entire evening but now that she was relieved of duty for the night she could actually be with him.
She stretched on her tip toes but did not see him. She did catch sight of Thorin who had his arm around Fili, both of them with up turned mugs. No Dwalin though.
Just then, someone grabbed her by the waist and spun her around.
Dwala met Dwalin's face as she turned, his hand still on her waist. "There you are," he said and took her by the hand to pull her from the room. Thankfully everyone was too busy to notice, and Dwalin led her to a quiet and empty corridor.
Pushing her back against the wall, he buried his hands in her hair and began to assault her mouth with kisses. She wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into him. This had been happening every night for nearly a week. Once Dwala was relieved of her duties for the day she would find her way to Dwalin's arms. They had only kissed so far, as Dwala was too shy for more, and would not be doing much more of anything until she was married. She had made that clear to Dwalin and he had respectfully agreed.
At that moment and as he sometimes did, Dwalin's hand slid down the lightly mold against the side of her breast. Dwala swatted it away gently as she always did and he laced it in her hair again. He couldn't be blamed for trying, he thought. The stayed there intertwined like that for who knows how long, but it was well into the wee morning hours when they finally made their way to their respective chambers.
And so the night passed, until Ila was woken to the sound of her husband snoring loud enough to wake any and all mean creatures that might be dwelling in the untold depths of the mountain.
Ila had not heard Thorin come to bed, but there he lay on his face next to her, snoring loudly. She turned towards him to nudge him awake, but as she did was hit by the strong and overpowering smell of ale. He reeked of it, and a sick sensation hit her like a ton of bricks.
Ila turned away from him and crawled towards the other side of the bed just in time to wretch over the side. She was very thankful for Dwala having put that bowl there. The sound of her doing so woke Thorin, and Ila soon felt his hand on her shoulder.
"Darling," he said groggily, slowly rubbing her back.
Ila coughed a bit as she finished and leaned back to lay on the bed again. She laid her hand over her head and Thorin soothed her, rubbing up and down her arms.
"It is worse today," she said weakly.
"Oin says it may last the first two months or so." Thorin said and leaned down to kiss her cheek but noticed her wince as he came close.
"What is it?" he asked concerned.
"You reek darling, it's making me si—" she couldn't even get it out before flinging herself up to wretch again.
"Oh, yes. I suppose I do," he said and moved off the bed so as not to further agitate her. Ila laid back down and moaned in discomfort.
"Shall I call for anything love?" he asked.
"No…no food, please," she said.
"You will need to eat something, there is a growing dwarf in your belly that will be very hungry very soon." He said and Ila couldn't help but smile.
"If he eats anything like you do that will be true," she said. "But I think it would just make me feel worse now."
"You will feel better soon, dear. They say the sickness is worst at first, at least that is what I recall with Dis both times."
"I hope so. I was so looking forward to Kili teaching me how to use a bow. As soon as I am better…"
"What?" Thorin said, looking up from the basin where he was splashing cold water on his face.
"Kili promised to teach me how to shoot a bow but then I fell ill."
"You will be doing no such thing while you are pregnant. You must not over extend yourself and you could hurt yourself at that." Thorin said firmly.
"Hurt myself? What could possibly happen? Kili would be careful and I don't think standing while holding a bow is strenuous." Ila protested.
"Well I do. He may teach you after you have recovered from giving birth."
"Whenever will I have the time then? It will all be devoted to our little one." Ila asked being very disappointed.
Thorin dried his face and walked over to her to sit on the bedside.
"My love, I cannot help that I worry. Please, take everything easy for now. You do not want to risk losing our little dwarf." He said sweetly.
"Thorin, I would do nothing to endanger him or her. I will be careful I promise. But I can't stay locked in our room all day until I deliver." She replied.
"I know, I know." He said, stroking her face. "I will find ways to occupy you. In fact, why don't I send Kili to keep you company today? I'm sure he can impart some wisdom without having you actually wield a bow and arrow yourself." Thorin said and Ila smiled and nodded. He of course had no way of knowing that wasn't a good idea at all.