The song here is "Bleeding Me" by Metallica

Bleeding Me

Clara walked to the front door of the mansion and as she reached the door frame, Nikolai sat there so peacefully that it made her wonder if what Keara had seen really was a dream. He glanced up at her and smiled charmingly like usual.

She leaned in the doorway and gave him a grin.

"What's up?" he asked her and she stepped down and sat beside him, looking briefly at the Mark of Cain. It seemed fine like usual, but she could see a bit or redness and faint scratch marks. He had been scratching at the Mark like an irritating itch deep under his skin.

She met his eyes and he was masking it well. If it wasn't for Keara having seen him through Ginger's eyes, she wouldn't have thought something was wrong. How long had this been going on? He seemed perfectly fine.

"You look at me like I got stabbed with a blade of deadly Holy water." He said and she smiled with a hint of sadness as she took his hand. His charming smile faded and he looked vulnerable, like she had just broken that layer of ice to reveal the reflective water that he tried to conceal. His eyes looked slightly like those of a scared child and her heart ached for him.

"You going to tell me or do I have to ask?" Clara asked and he seemed speechless. Then he torn his hand away, tearing his eyes from her. She didn't have to see his expression to know that he felt shame. "It's something that weighs heavily. From what Crowley told me, it even got to Cain. Please talk to me; you know I'm here for you." She said and waited patiently for him to open up to her.

After some hesitance, Nikolai glanced at her and that vulnerability was still in his eyes, but there was a sharpness that wasn't typical for his behavior.

"It doesn't weigh heavily, Clara; it eats away at me like a scavenger on a carcass. It leaves me with a tick that I can't shake off. It started easy, but now there's an itch that I can't scratch and I know it's only a matter of time before I start hacking away at those around me." Nikolai said and the sharpness in his eyes turned cold. It felt like a different Nikolai.

"You're strong." She reassured him, but he shook his head.

"Being strong has nothing to do with it." he replied and looked at the red mark on his arm that was so much more than a symbol. It was another level of evil and it was so consuming. It terrified all and the one cursed with it was the most mortified because how much it affected them. "It fucks you up." He concluded, unable to use other words to describe it.

He met Clara's eyes and could see the worry. She had a reason to worry; he was just holding it together, but soon he wouldn't be able to. He'd be out of control and she'd have to put him down like a sick dog. The only problem was that the mark doesn't allow the bearer to die. He'd have to pass it on and he knew the vicious cycle would never end. It was a mark of misery and suffering.

"Keara came to see you through Ginger." Clara said and he was in disbelief, but then realized that weird shit happens in Hell every day. He smiled slightly, but then that meant Keara saw him. That shamed him more than the fact that he was falling apart. "She's worried, but she doesn't understand." She added and he looked away, thinking of the little sweetheart that thought he was a superhero.

"She's so smart." He said and Clara let out a soft laugh.

"Yes, she is." She replied and took his hand again, but this time she squeezed tightly as if the demon in her was agitated. When he glanced over at her, there was the aura of a Queen around her. It made him think of the Clara that first arrived in Hell. She had changed, but she was happy. Then, as he thought about it, Crowley changed too over the years: he was a proud father and a happy husband. Nerilla and Gabriel had changed too and it made Nikolai think that his change wasn't so bad.

Suddenly, he had a glimmer of hope that this Mark would not beat him.

"Keara cares deeply about you and she needs you." Clara said, looking off into the distance, that aura of a Queen glowing brightly in her eyes. "We all do." she added and Nikolai finally felt the relief of that nibbling sensation of the Mark. "Will you hurt Keara?" she asked and he nearly gasped at the idea.

When she met his eyes, she smirked at the stunned expression on his face.

"I'd never. I'd rather stab myself with the First Blade." He replied and she released his hand with a soft smile.

"Just checking. But whenever the Mark gets to be too much, think of Keara." She replied and looked at him with a slight grin. "Can you commit suicide with the First Blade?" she asked and he chuckled.

"I doubt it. Fucker would probably just hurt like shit." He replied and she then stood up, chuckling herself.

"Now I might have a little job for you to do." she said and he raised an eyebrow at her in curiosity. "Summoning is a thing of the past. Crowley joked, but I'm sure he'll agree that cell phones are better. Take care of that for me. There's one for me, Crowley, Kelley, Gabriel and even one for Keara." She added and he grinned.

"She's two years old." He said and she waved him off.

"She's smart." Clara replied and before heading back into the mansion, she glanced at Nikolai over her shoulder with a slight expression of concern in her eyes. "And when that's all done, I want to give my number to Anne Cromwell." She concluded and he nodded his head.

"Wait," he said and she stopped and looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "Who's Kelley?" he asked and she smiled brightly with a dark gleam in her eyes.

"Our newly recruited Sergeant." Clara replied and with satisfaction, she went back into the mansion to check on Keara and Gabriel, leaving Nikolai just as clueless as he had been before he had asked the question.