Christian
I am a bit nervous about this lunch. Today Ana stayed home just in case I could not go through the entire meeting with my father. I believe she sensed my unease this morning when I couldn't finish my omelet. Here I am in the middle of my father's office waiting for him to come out of his meeting. I cannot count the number of time that I just wanted to walk out. I don't think I am ready for what is about to be said nor do I think I want to hear it but I am here because he asked me to be here.
I was thinking all morning on what to say to him. Did I really love the Steele family more than my own? Couldn't my father have just tried a bit harder with me when I was younger? Wouldn't it have simply been easier to just let me figure my own life out and have him just be happy that I am happy? The questions are endless when it comes to this situation.
My father comes in and sits across from me behind his desk
"Hello Christian I am happy to see that you came" he says as he leans on his desk
"You asked me here so we could talk some more. I want to see what you had in mind" I quickly want to gage the situation that we are about to be in.
He takes a big breath
"Christian I was being truthful yesterday. All I ever wanted as a parent was to see you happy but also I don't like being shown up by another family. Back then it was either Ana or Ray you would talk about. When I put you out, Ray took you in. When I wanted you to pay to have your furniture redone, Ray taught you how to build your own room with your own hands. When you struggled in school and I wanted you to get a reality check, Ana was there to help you learn. When you get into a fight at school and I see that you need discipline, Ana needed protection. Every step up until yesterday was me making the wrong move…*he sighs*… I reacted the way I did because I saw that there was finally something bad to exploit" he finishes.
I had grown angrier the more he talked.
"What you are telling me is you were jealous about my relationship with them?" I was beyond mad at this point
"Yes because you never were like that with your own family" he is getting defensive now.
"Well wouldn't you have to be there for me to go to you? Jesus I snuck out the house basically every night for two years to go to Ana's house. I couldn't sleep back then. When I would wake up in the night you didn't try to comfort me or explain to me that things would be okay, you gave me shrink references. You and mom both worked and I am not saying it's your fault for the fighting but come on dad you weren't around for me. Elliot went with you to work or to a game, your special father son baseball games. You think I was hard to connect with? Well duh I was a teenager! I liked sports or bands that you couldn't identify with. You took Mia shopping and she loved you for it. When I got one on one time with you it was almost always done because I got into a fight at school and you were just sitting in the office with me until the counselor got back." I say on a tirade.
I quickly stop and continue
"Ray asked me questions and didn't issue ultimatums like you did. He talked to me when we went camping with him. When I worked in his garage to build my stuff me asked what music station I liked to listen to. Ana made me dinner and when I couldn't sleep she would comfort me when all I wanted to do was scream. So don't recent them dad, recent that you didn't make the same effort with me as you did with Mia and Elliot. I don't hate you, I love you dad but my relationship with you has always been one sided because as a teenager I didn't know how to approach you." I said
He was shocked. I could tell by his aghast expression and his fidgeting hands.
"Well… I think… that you may be right." He finally said
"I want to also tell you that I am a big boy and can make my own decisions. If I love Ana and Ray it shouldn't threaten you, it should however show you that you can be the same." I finally said. Wow I was starting to sound like Ana.
"I will try Christian" he said while leaning back in his chair. "So your mother wants to know when she should be expecting grandbabies."
I freeze into place "Why are you guys talking about that?"
"Well I am coming around to the idea that I would like grandchildren, so when is that going to happen?" he said with a smirk on his face. He loves this conversation because he knows that this is making me feel uncomfortable.
"Well it would be up to Ana of course. She is the one who would have to carry a child for nine months. I don't want to pressure her into having kids because you guys want some child to baby." I brush this off but now I am struck with the idea of Ana barefoot and pregnant. Think makes me happy in a very odd way.
I quickly tell him that I will keep in touch and would have dinner at their house. I rise from the chair and quickly make my way to the SUV where Taylor is waiting.
"Sir is something the matter?" he asks while driving me back to work.
"I think I want to have children Taylor" I say before I realize I said it.
He looks shocked.
I looked shocked right back at him, surprised that I said that out loud.
"Don't tell Ana I said that." I said quickly
"Yes, sir" he says. When we make it to GEH I head straight into meetings and try not to think of having children while I am negotiating lots of money.
…
Taylors POV
OH GOD HE WANTS TO PROCREATE! I am in my office freaking out and I am not even the one who is even in their relationship.
What would he be like with a kid?
Well he was responsible. He did like security and order
What the hell would working for him be like after that?
Jesus help us all he will go crazy. He is a security nut and if Ana gets pregnant it is going to be all system lock down.
I need to text Gail
Guess what he just said? - T
Who? - G
Grey – T
He says he want a kid – T
What really?! That would be great to have a baby around! – G
Are you crazy? Could you imagine him as a parent?! – T
Well Ana is here to ground him. She would be a great mother. She takes care of him and then she always has been level headed. Don't you think so?
Okay you have a point but the security hassle that is going to happen when they do! – T
Well did he say what Ana said about it? – G
Ana doesn't know he wants one yet… - T
Uh oh – G
Yeah you don't think he will poke holes in condoms or switch her birth
control out with tick tacks do you? - T
Ha ha ha very funny. He wouldn't do that - G
Yeah I know he wouldn't. I can't wait to hear this discussion between them. – T
Oh Ana will so win – G
Of course. Okay I have to get back to work. I will talk to you later - T
Muah kisses – G
Okay now somehow I have to continue on with my day knowing this. This is going to be a rough one.
…
Christian
As my day comes to a close I am looking forward to just going home to Ana and after my revelation of wanting children I really just want to talk to her about it. While it would excite me in the actual baby making process I know that having a baby is a responsibility and I don't want to pressure Ana so close to us getting back together.
When Taylor and I walk into the house and see Gail cooking and Ana laughing it just feels right. Taylor gives me a sideways glance and continues to walk in, I know he is remembering what I had said earlier.
"Hey baby" I kiss her on the chick
"Oh hey how was your day at work? How was the sick intern today?" She asks. She always is so caring
"I checked in like you asked and she is better now. And the interns would like to thank you for mentioning the eating at the desk policy" I said with a smile. I honestly would do anything for her.
"That's great. Go wash up for dinner. Gail made pasta with chicken." She said as she shoos me away.
I honestly wash my hands with a smile.
I make it in time for dinner with just Ana. I suppose Taylor knew I would want the time alone with her.
"So what did you do all day?" I asked
"Well I put all my books in your library and I got forwarded some manuscripts form SIP and started to read through the stories to see which one I want to read first. I can wait to start, some of these authors are really great." She said with a smile.
"So you can make your own hours as an editor and can work from home?" I am just trying to gage where the next part of what I want to say.
"Yeah I am going to be working in an office setting but they do always have an option of working from home. As long as you turn in your paper work and notes and show up for important meetings I would think that my position is pretty open." She said while she ate.
I guy I was over analyzing what she was saying because she started to look at me curiously.
"What is the matter Christian? Is this about something with your father?" she said with a frown.
"Sort of… okay I realized something today and I am not sure how you are going to take it." I start off with
"Okay just say it and I promise not to freak out" she held my hand
Okay here goes nothing "I want to have kids soon. I was talking with my dad and he showed me how great it can be to have kids. My father may not have been the best but I think I can do it. I know me wanting this means nothing if you don't want to have kids right now. And I am fine waiting if that is what you want. I am not pressuring you considering we just moved in together. How would you feel if we had a baby sooner or later? So what I am asking is will you make a baby with me?" I take a deep breath and wait for her response.
… dun dun dun
SO TELL ME WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT?!
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