Bella took slow, deep breaths. In the spring, the lilac bushes that grew out of control in front of Charlies place spilt the most remarkable, heavy perfume into the air and when she opened her window, the smell just poured into the room, swirling around and breathing life into the drab room.

It had been a weird few weeks. It was as if the three musketeers weren't so all for one and one for all anymore. Edward was working full time for a paving company, and when he did have time to hang out, she saw a constant parade of girls and Emmett on his social media. It wasn't like she couldn't pick up the phone to call him, but there was something that felt so needy about that, as if he was doing better than she was.

Bella sighed, with Edward, it always felt like after the semester ended he stopped showing up. All of their midnight meetings ended, and they rarely was each other until the semester started up again. A friendship of convenience for him.

And Alice… well Alice had disappeared. As soon as she started dating Jasper, it was as if he was in every aspect of her life. And Bella missed her best friend. They had been inseparable for nearly 10 years, and now Jasper was a jarring, sudden change in that dynamic, a flaw in their perfectly woven tapestry. Bella and Alice were a system, one that was now broken by change.

Speaking of… Bella's phone started ringing from across the room.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Hey! Can I come over today?"

Bella smiled, and her heart lifted up a tiny bit.

"Yes! Come over!"

Alice giggled, "I'm at your front door, I'll see you in a second!"

Bella sighed and laughed as she heard Alice thundering up the stairs, stopping only to shout a quick "hello!" to Charlie.

Alice whirled around the corner and into Bella's bedroom, a bundle of tulle, and energy and thrust a coffee cup in Bella's face. "Drink all of this!" She demanded, rifling through Bella's scarf collection, flinging silk and wool everywhere.

Watching Alice was like watching a young puppy- they explode with energy and run around you in circles and then eventually get bored and come to sit on your lap. Her movements got slower and slower, until she was just slowly wrapping scarves absentmindedly around her arms and biting on her lip thoughtfully.

"Alice?" Bella asked, amused.

"Mhmm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

Alice looked up at her, her big eyes undecipherable.

"Are you mad at me?" Alice asked softly.

Bella stared at her, wondering where it was coming from. "No! Why would you think that?"

"It's just, I don't know, it feels like we haven't seen each other in forever. And it's weird. I don't think I like it."

Bella bit her lip, "I didn't think you had time for me anymore. You've been so busy."

Alice looked up, defense already burning bright in her eyes.

"So have you! You work everyday!"

"Alice, we hardly see each other. But we don't even talk anymore. We used to talk almost every night and since… well, it's just been a while since we've talked." Bella stared at her unflinchingly. Normally she would shy away from a fight like this, and do whatever she could to appease Alice, but she could feel her slipping away. Almost as if Bella had been replaced and that scared the hell out of her.

"Is this about Jasper? Is that what you meant? Don't think I haven't noticed Bella, you haven't said two words to me since I started dating Jasper. I thought you liked him?" Alice said defiantly, watching Bella with a look in her eyes that was almost, sadness?

Bella looked back at Alice carefully, weighing her words in her mind.

"It's not that I don't like Jasper, it's just that, well, ever since you started dating him it's been all about him."

Alice stared at her. "What the hell does that mean? It's not all about him!"

"Alice… Every conversation we have is about him! We talk about his favourite foods, and what he likes you to wear, and what he's taking in school… I know more about this guy than Edward!"

Alice's brow furrowed. "That's not true."
Bella laughed, "Seriously Alice? He's absolutely everywhere. There isn't a single aspect of your life that he isn't involved with. Your dad has dinners with him, he comes to all of our trips to the cabin, and he's been at your place every time I've come over for the last 2 months. I don't know, it just feels like you aren't you without him."

Bella stepped back and if she wasn't so frustrated she would have laughed. Alice was standing in front of her, all 4 feet and 11 inches, with her hands on her hips and her face in an angry glare.

"How could you be mad? I'm happy Bella! I'm finally happy! I'm happier than I've been in a long time, happier than when my mom died."

Bella's tone becoming more somber all of a sudden. "It's just, I mean…" Her heart caught in her throat, and she swallowed thickly.

"I promise I'm not mad." She forced out. "I just feel left behind. I mean, Edward's always with some girl and you have Jasper now and I just feel like I'm being left behind somewhere by myself. Like you guys are moving forward into some space that I can't occupy."

Alice looked at Bella strangely, the anger fading from her face.

"What do you mean, leaving you behind? I would never leave you behind anywhere. Me being with Jasper doesn't change our friendship."

"I know that." Bella said, biting her lip. "But it does. I'm 22 years old and I just feel like I've miss it, like somehow everyone's leaving on a train without me. And I love that you're with Jasper, he's a great guy- but it just makes me sad that it's not the two of us anymore. Do you realize, that every single major trip we've planned for the next year has included Jasper? Even our Europe trip… Europe Alice, has now been changed to include Jasper."

Alice looked away guiltily.

"I'm just not ready to lose my best friend."