Hanji and Petra stared at the green eyed boy with dropped jaws.
"YOU'RE the PRESIDENT!" Hanji squealed. Petra just continued to stare. Eren smirked as he nodded.
"Yup. I am. And I'm the best." He inspected his nails as he bragged. "I've broken the worst. And I've NEVER failed." Hanji shook her head.
"It's impossible to have statistics like that." Eren just looked at her.
"You remember Brad?" Hanji and Petra flinched and nodded. That boy was horrible. He was horrid with girls. But he did a complete one eighty and is currently engaged. "Broke him." Eren smirked. "And now look at him. And he was at the top of the 'douche player' list. If I can break him, I can break anyone."
"Could you break Levi?" Petra asked. Eren's smirk widened.
"Work in progress." Hanji stood and slammed her hands on the desk in front of her.
"No way! I wanted to break Levi! He's my friend and I've known him since we were kids!" Eren nodded.
"Yes, I know this. But when he was put into our sights, you weren't in the club." Hanji frowned as she sat down. "Armin, who do we have that we can assign Petra too?" Armin went to his desk and looked through his papers.
"No one as of yet. Do you want me to look for Hanji?" Ern shook his head.
"Nope. I have an assignment for her. Petra, you're going to be on recon duty with Mikasa. What you two are doing is keeping an eye out for player activity." The strawberry blond nodded.
"What about me? Who am I assigned too?" Hanji asked, excited that she had an assignment already, though she was bummed it wasn't going to be Levi. Eren stood in front of her and smiled.
"How would you like to help me with my current assignment?" Hanji just stared at him until it clicked and she nearly screamed.
"You mean Levi?" Eren nodded.
"I'm supposed to be entering relationship status with him, but I'm going to need help. If you really are as good friends with Levi as I've heard and seen, I'm going to need your help. You know his ins and outs. I'm going to need those. Not only that, but no one's ever gone through the entire PBC before, so I'm going to need all the help I can get." Hanji nodded excitedly, before stopping.
"What happens when you break him?" She asked, completely serious. Eren smiled a little.
"We stay together until one of us breaks it off... or dies." Hanji's eyes widened.
"Dies?!" Her and Petra shouted. Eren nodded, blushing slightly. Armin decided to come and save him.
"We're all human, and teenagers. We want to find someone to love us as much as we love them. Entering relationship status is a very difficult thing. Eren aligns interests between the players and available members. He won't put someone who hates the other together."
"So Eren's also a matchmaker?" Hanji asked. Eren blushed a little more.
"Yup! That's how me and Connie got together!" Sasha sang happily. "And Bert and Reiner are too cute!" She said, causing the taller male to blush.
"It's a player breakers job to break players, but we have our own love lives to worry about too. So if we can incorporate the two together, things sometimes run more smoothly."
"But what does that have to do with dying?" Hanji asked.
"You guys aim for relationships that end in marriage?" Petra asked. Eren's face turned as red as Mikasa's scarf. Hanji just stared at Eren and then squealed.
"That's so cute!" And she clung to Eren. "You and Levi would be the cutest! I approve and accept and I better be in the wedding party!" Eren pretty damn near fainted.
"Hanji! They aren't even dating yet!" Molbit said, trying to pull his girlfriend off his friend. Hanji blinked a few times before making a noise of realization.
"Oh yeah! I'm totally going to hook you two up then! All of his currents are assholes and bitches anyways!" Eren nodded slowly as she let go.
"Thanks. For now, we're going to work me to being his friend. From there, we'll progress. But right now, we need to assign times him and I can meet so he can teach me French!" Eren smiled wide. "I can't wait!"
"Is that the only reason you want to be with him?" Petra asked, slightly cold. Eren shook his head automatically.
"No! Hell no! It's just a bonus." Hanji then looked to Eren.
"What do you like about him?" She asked. Eren sighed.
"I don't know him well enough to know much. All I can say is he's hot and athletic, and I like that. And he can teach me French. Once I get to know him more, I'm hoping to like him more."
"He's got shitty humor." Mikasa said. Hanji and Petra began to chuckle.
"It's true. He does. He makes shit jokes." Hanji said. Eren sighed.
"In was zur Hölle bin ich da hineingeraten?" Eren said, slipping into German. "Alright. Well since the rest of you have dated him, give me some insight." Eren said. If he was going to date someone, he was going to fucking love them. And since everyone around him, except Hanji, was his assignments ex, hopefully ONE of them could tell him something that will spike his interest.
"Well... he's a clean freak." Hanji said. Eren nodded as he took out pen and paper and started to write 'pro', 'con', and 'other' to organize Levi's traits and habits. Clean freak was an other because Eren could care less if his boyfriend was going to be a clean freak or not.
"He loves tea." Sasha said as she ripped open another bag of chips.
"He's quiet." Bert said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.
"He's dedicated to his school work!" Armin chirped happily.
"He's more of a stay at home then go out person." Marco said as he smiled lightly.
"He knows how to be a gentlemen." Krista said as she also smiled.
"He's a cuddler." Petra giggled. Everyone just stared at her. "I dated him for, like, three months before I found out he had seven other people besides me. And he LOVES cuddling." Eren dropped his pen.
"Abgemacht. Fuck everything else. He likes to cuddle, that's all I need." Eren sat there for a second before picking his pen back up. "What else can you tell me?" Petra smiled, but it was a little sad.
"Even if he's not loyal to dating relationships, he's loyal to his friends. No one messes with us without him knowing. He's not afraid to break someone's arms to keep us safe. Friends aren't the same as partners to him. Friends mean something special to him and he's hell bent to keep them happy, even if it hurts him. He'll brush off any date if one of his friends need help." Eren's pen slipped from his fingers as he just stared at the new member.
"Hurensohn. Fuck what I said about cuddling. If I can break Levi, he could be the best partner ever." Eren looked at everything he had written. There were no cons. Eren sighed deeply. "Give me the cons." Everyone sighed as the exs crossed their arms, except Petra, who jumped right on it.
"He may be able to act like a gentlemen, but he can be a total ass if you say the wrong thing. He doesn't apologize, EVER. And he doesn't care if he breaks your heart, obviously. He's nit picky and hates when people interrupt him when he's doing school work. He hates EVERYTHING about love, and will ditch and stand you up and not even give a reason. He won't even lie! And he's honest, to a fault. If you ask if your ass looks fat, he will not hold back on telling you. If you ask if he's cheating, he'll tell you yes. If he wants to dump you, he'll do it to your face and won't care who's around or what you're doing." Eren sighed as he wrote this all down.
"I see honesty as a pro. And the rest of those may be cons, but they aren't anything I haven't seen before. And the school work thing is a good trait if you ask me." Eren said. "It doesn't seem too bad. I can see a few good points and bad. Nothing to bad."
"He has a foul mouth." Petra added. Eren looked to her.
"I cuss people out in seven different languages. You think I give a fuck if he swears like a sailor? My Mom was a fucking MARINE! I'm not scared." Hanji and Petra stared at him with wide eyes."
"You're mom was a marine?" Eren nodded.
"Why do you think club is so military style? I got everything from my mom." Mikasa nodded.
"Even the idea to start the club." She said as she adjusted her scarf.
"How's that?" Eren smirked.
"Who do you think taught me how to break players?" Hanji began to giggle as the meeting came to a close and Eren switched back to whiny brother mode as they left the club room, causing Petra and Hanji to laugh.
In was zur Hölle bin ich da hineingeraten? = What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Abgemacht= Done deal!
Hurensohn= Son of a bitch.
I lied. There was no Levi interaction, but he was mentioned! And I got some of his little traits and quirks out, but that's not all of them. And I think having a cuddly Levi is cute! Especially since he doesn't seem cuddly, like, ever.