A/N: This chapter has been mostly preserved in its entirety. A general face-lift, but it's mostly identical to its original.

Disclaimer: I do not own How to Train Your Dragon. I do own an assortment of OCs, a few of whom are trying to make me regret creating them.

How to Train Your Marching Band

Chapter Eight: Electrifying

"Hey Hiccup, nice shiner." one of the saxes called out. "Where'd it come from?"

Hiccup instinctively placed a hand over his black eye. "Snotlout."

"What happened?" another of the saxes asked curiously. It wasn't every day that someone walked in with a big fat bruise on their face, especially one that was obviously fresh.

"He told us Snotlout used to pee on a tree before he was potty-trained." Marie replied before her section-mate could, talking around the reed in her mouth. Those within hearing range sniggered.

"Don't spread that around. I don't want a matching set." Hiccup said sternly, running his fingers lightly over the bruise. He was mildly impressed by its size and color.

"But you totally deserved it."

"Gods, definitely."

"Hiccup, that black eye isn't going to bother you much, is it?" Steiny the drum major asked, staring at the bruise with a slightly concerned expression.

"As long as I don't touch it." Hiccup assured her with a small smile. "And I took an aspirin. It'll be kicking in soon."

The woodwinds had gathered in the teacher's lounge for their afternoon sectional in a scraggly kind of concert arc. The teacher's lounge really wasn't as awesome as the student population imagined it was. There was no secret teacher's lounge that looked like a luxury spa or anything remotely special like that. It had been mostly ignored in the remodeling, so it was still a plain room with a long table, a couple of vending machines and a new couch. It was still large enough to accommodate the over two dozen woodwinds.

"Dad's gonna wonder where this came from. I haven't been beaten up in years." Hiccup remarked to Marie while they put their clarinets together.

"Just tell him Snotlout did it. Maybe he'll go after your cousin with a knife." the blonde replied, popping the reed into her mouth.

Hiccup laughed. "Only if Snotlout turns into a dragon."

"I thought he already was one."

The section leader laughed again and placed his reed in his mouth, wincing at the taste.

"New reed." he grumbled to Marie, who nodded sympathetically. New reeds always tasted like-- well, like wood. One never really got used to that fresh-out-of-the-box taste.

The oboe rookie Paige, rolled her eyes and made kind of a derisive noise from her position between the clarinets and the flutes.

"And what are you rolling your eyes at?" Marie inquired.

"Nothing." Paige replied.

"No, no. I don't like it when you rookies dance around me like I'm gonna to peel your faces off and wear 'em like a mask. Tell it straight. What's on your mind?" Marie insisted. Her tone was almost sisterly.

Paige hesitated for a moment before choosing to say her piece. "You shouldn't let that guy get away with punching you."

"Who, Snotlout?" Hiccup waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, he's my cousin. We used to get in fights all the time. 'Course, he always won... And still does..."

"Of course he always won; you were the teacup poodle to his bulldog." Marie pointed out. She had seen pictures. "Now it's more like you're the greyhound to his Great Dane. I mean, you're all -- this."

Hiccup frowned. "Don't gesture to all of me."

"Sorry, there's really nothing specific on you to gesture to." Marie pointed out. "You're just kind of--" She made another encompassing gesture. "This."

"What did I just say?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you're not built like a brick shit-house like your dad."

"Whatever. Switch me places."

They scooted around each other as Steiny banged hard on the blue gock block, finally bringing the woodwinds to order. The veterans fell into line like a well-oiled machine (with the exception of two clarinetists who were trying to get the reeds on properly). She looked around at the woodwinds and then called for warm-up.

Without the brass and the percussion backing them, the warm-up sequence wasn't as robust as it usually sounded. The tenor saxes did their best to fill the gap, but the high voices of the flutes, the shrill scream of the lone piccolo and the slightly more mellow tones of the reed instruments typically dominated the sound. There were squeaks here and there when the rookies pushed too hard; woodwinds were a bit tricky. But discordant pitches slowly became harmonized as the instruments warmed up and the players checked to see if they were in tune.

And then there came the fun part: sixteenth note runs.

Despite their difficulty in executing, there was usually a sort of a love affair that each player developed before the end of the season. They were ridiculously fun to play and when done successfully, it gave the player a sense of accomplishment that usually lasted until they screwed up from overconfidence. And then they dove right back into it just to prove that the run wasn't as hard as people thought it was.

Hiccup would have loved to say that he was the best at sixteenth note runs, just for his ego. Certainly he was among the best, with quick fingers and an even quicker tongue, but the title of the best -- in this case -- without a doubt, fell to Fishlegs.

There were times that Fishlegs was just impressive. A bulky physique ran in both sides of his family, augmented by the deep-water fishing trip his family would take to the ocean every summer to catch 300-pound fish.

His parents were also engaged in the somewhat lucrative business of raising Bullrougher dragons. One of the dragon species that lent itself to domestication, Bullroughers were basically just scaly, reptilian cows with wings, horns and fire-breath; not overly-aggressive, omnivorous, and content to stay put (nonetheless, all two dozen of the Ingermans' Bullroughers were micro-chipped so they could be found if they chose to fly away). There was a modest demand for dragon hides and horns that could not be met by the slain dragons that hunters brought in. There was also a demand for dragon meat, but Hiccup understood that it was quite expensive; up there with most types of caviar in terms of price and taste. There was also a detoxification process dragon meat had to go through first, so the demand for it was really quite low.

Bullroughers were also wickedly stubborn and to get one to move on your command was the work of divine intervention.

That was why Fishlegs was impressive.

On top of that, he was incredibly intelligent. He was battling five other people in the senior class for the position of valedictorian and was considered half the reason Marie had passed her last math final. He had a head for facts and figures and dragons (and if he could just get away from using D&D stats to rank dragon species, people might start to take him a little more seriously).

And topping it all off was the fact that this year, he had been upgraded to piccolo. The tiny instrument had been in his possession for barely more than two months and despite this -- despite his meaty fingers -- he dashed through the sixteenth note runs with perfect precision.

That was why Fishlegs was so very, very impressive.

Then Steiny set the gock block down and they all flipped their folders open to the show music.

They were partway through the opener when Hiccup felt something brush across his foot -- he had taken off his shoes at the earliest opportunity; most people did as they weren't going back outside until after dinner -- and a shock went up his leg. It was like that time he had stuck his finger in an electric socket just to see why Snotlout kept getting a kick out of it. It didn't hurt -- not really, but it did leave a funny tingling in its wake. It also had him yelping in surprise and leaping in the air, interrupting a stretch of silence where the brass would have been blasting away.

"Hiccup?" Steiny gave him another look of concern while he bounced around on one foot; the other one had gone numb.

"I got shocked." he replied, finally finding his balance.

"By what?" Marie wondered, looking at the carpeted floor. The floor was the only part of the teacher's lounge to be touched in the remodel; changed from ugly tiles to slightly more attractive carpet. Then her eyes went wide and she stabbed a finger at the floor. "Dragon!"

There was a general outcry, and woodwinds left and right piled onto the long table or the chairs or whatever elevated surface was immediately available to them, some with a speed that Hiccup would not have expected out of them; including his nimrod rookie Ashlyn.

The table creaked as everyone settled.

"I hate dragons! I hate dragons! I hate dragons!" Paige was practically crying, clutching her oboe to her chest. "Why can't they just stay outside where they belong?!"

"Because they're wild animals and don't always know where they belong?" Marie shot at the younger girl snidely.

"I'm okay with them being outside." someone commented.

"How did it get in?"

"How do we get it out?!"

Paige was still almost crying. "I hate dragons!"

"You just have a negative impression because of Hookfang!"

"Okay, calm down everyone." Steiny said, raising her hands for quiet. "It's just a dragon. Nothing new there. Marie, was it a really big one?"

"Not really. Couple inches." Marie held her hands about six inches apart. "It was kind of yellow-ish. But it still had teeth and if it shocked Hiccup..."

"It was probably an Electricsquirm." Hiccup decided, the pieces of information clicking together in his head. "They're not really dangerous. I mean, there's never been a report of one of those actually hospitalizing someone."

Over two dozen skeptical looks landed on him. Years of hearing that dragons were dangerous would do that to anyone and not everyone had reasonably detailed information about the beasts.

"Hiccup, dude... They're called Electricsquirms for a reason." Marie deadpanned, her eyebrows practically a flat line across her forehead. "So, got any bright ideas on how to catch it?"

All of a sudden, as if a thought had occurred to their collective consciousness, the woodwinds all turned to Hiccup expectantly.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he asked warily. He felt like he was about to be made into some kind of virgin sacrifice.

"Your dad hunts dragons for a living." Asian Josh reminded him. "That kind of makes you the school's resident expert on all things dragon." he added to the general consensus of the woodwind section.

"I don't know that much about dragons! I just answer the phone!" Hiccup pointed out, laughing. "If anything, Fishlegs is the resident expert!" he added, pointing to the other boy.

"Not me, I don't know anything about Electricsquirms." Fishlegs said, holding up his hands and momentarily losing his precarious balance on the very corner of the table.

"You don't?" Hiccup felt himself flounder suddenly. Something reliable in his world had just gone belly up.

"I lost volume two of the Dragon Manual before I could read it and I haven't been able to buy a new copy." Fishlegs admitted. "I don't know anything about dragons E through G. And-- y'know, that information really isn't available online yet." He shrugged. "Guess you're the best person."

"No I'm not." Hiccup shook his head. "Really, I don't know that much about dragons. I know, my dad has brought home enough bones that we could probably construct a skeleton in the backyard, but that's it. I don't know anything."

"You left out the part where a Night Fury follows you just about everywhere you go." Marie hissed loud enough for everyone to hear.

"That doesn't count." Hiccup told her. It really wasn't a big secret that he had a Night Fury stalker anyways.

"Man, that would be awesome to have a dragon like-- as a pet or something." said Topher, the second-chair sax, in a sort of envious tone.

"Dragons aren't pets!" Hiccup and Fishlegs shouted defensively.

"They're beautiful creatures that'll chomp your heads off if you're not careful!" Fishlegs said, putting his hands to his neck protectively. "They breathe fire or spit acid or pop your ear drums! You have to be careful!"

"And you can't keep a dragon as a pet! You have to earn their trust and they'll be just as dangerous to you as they are to their prey!" Hiccup added. He felt as though he had the absolute authority on that particular matter.

It took them both a moment to realize that they were being eyeballed warily and perhaps with some fright. Marie's eyebrows had all but disappeared into her hairline and Hiccup didn't like how her expression was very calculating. Fishlegs blushed slightly and settled back on his heels, mumbling an apology for his outburst.

"Well..." Hiccup unclenched a fist that he didn't realize was clenched at all. "Y'know..."

They didn't know, but judging from the looks on their faces, they weren't going to press the matter. Frankly, Hiccup was feeling a little embarrassed himself. He didn't just up and yell at people for their stupidity and/or ignorance. He didn't really yell at people at all. Neither did Fishlegs. Snotlout, the twins and even Astrid were more likely to jump down peoples' throats for being an idiot.

But Topher's comment... Dragons as pets... It had struck an unwelcome chord in Hiccup -- and Fishlegs too by all appearances. Dragons could not be kept as pets. They were noble creatures who, despite being part-time nuisances, were to be treated with respect.

"Hiccup." Marie was holding her cell phone out. "I was thinking that if you don't know anything about Electricsquirms, you could just call your dad."

Hiccup took the cell phone and dialed his father's number, noticed everyone was still staring at him and angled his upper body away for at least a modicum of privacy. When it was answered, Stoic jumped in immediately.

"Marie, I'm in the middle of something. This had better not be another prank call--"

"Dad, it's me." Hiccup interrupted, shooting a sidelong annoyed look at Marie who proceeded to look very innocent.

"Hiccup? It's the middle of the day."

"Yeah, I know, but what do you know about Electricsquirms?"

"Electricsquirms? Why do you want to know?"

"There's one in the teacher's lounge right now and-- I think we need to get it out before the table collapses." Hiccup explained, ignoring the glares he got from some girls at the insinuation of their weight.

"Hah, a bunch of the girls freak out?" Stoic chuckled. "Alright, the Electricsquirm isn't very dangerous, but it is fast. You have to catch it by the tail or it will shock you."

"The tail doesn't drop off like a newt's, does it?" Hiccup questioned. That would be highly inconvenient.

"No, it doesn't." Stoic assured him. "Just don't let it anywhere near a socket or--"

There was a loud popping noise that made everyone on the table jump and darkness descended rather suddenly.

"Or it'll knock out the power?" Hiccup finished with a sigh, ignoring the onset of shuffling around and rising voices behind him. "You do realize that we're not gonna find it now, right?"

"I think it glows a little. But don't worry. You took down a Frilled Whipspitter in the dark. The Electricsquirm should be nothing." Stoic's tone was almost too flippant for his son's liking. "Anything else I should know?"

"Snotlout punched me in the face."

"Did you punch him back?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. He would be lying if he said he hadn't expected that question to crop up. Stoic believed in the "an eye for an eye" philosophy. To get the person back just as good as they had gotten you.

"No, but I have the best black eye I've seen in years."

"He was always able to throw a good punch." Stoic commented.

The unspoken "And you couldn't swing an arm without overbalancing" lurked underneath that, but his father hadn't made comments to that effect in years and he wasn't going to start up again.

They said their quick farewells and Hiccup handed the phone back to Marie. She didn't put it away but held it above her head so the glow from the screen was shining across her face.

"We're gonna have to find this thing in the dark, aren't we." she said, scowling.

"I think they glow a little bit." Hiccup shrugged. A few more cell phones lit up the dark around them.

"You think they glow a little bit, how helpful."

Hiccup decided to ignore her and turned in the general direction of the drum major. "Steiny, the door's closed right?"

"Should be, yeah." Steiny nodded.

"Alright," Hiccup rubbed his hands together. "Let's catch us a dragon."

-0-