A/N: I'm back and so soon after the 5th chapter! I know you're all super ecstatic! Hm, or maybe it's just me. I do realize that this story seems a bit heavier and darker than my prior ones, but alas, what do you expect? Everyone's older now and in the midst of a war. School classes and pranks are sadly something of their past. Fighting for their lives and for their loved ones is their present.

I know that in my prior story, the focus was mainly on James and Lily, Sirius and Riley, Remus and Jillian, and Kay (okay, maybe a tiny bit of Peter...), but seeing as some of those people have disappeared (coughRileycoughJlliancough), I'm choosing to introduce a bunch of new characters. Some more important than others (coughKeegancoughSydnycoughAl iceFrankcoughFabiancoughLanc ecoughCalebcoughShanecough...sorry, something's clearly stuck in my throat!) and some that will merely flit about, but I'm finding it oddly fascinating focusing on all of the varieties of first-person thoughts. It's a lot harder than third person, I think, because I truly have to know what each and every one of them are thinking at all times in order to pursue the right angle. I hope I'm doing it some justice. I honestly can't tell you why I went with first person except for the fact that with so many different points of view, I thought it would certainly be the most interesting (and fun...) way of capturing this story. So I hope you don't hate it! Because I don't.

Disclaimer: I happen to not be J.K. Rowling and therefore own quite little of this story...but I am counting down until her new book comes out on the 27th. Not sure how I'm going to feel about something non-HP but I think it should be an interesting read!

Goodbyes on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 6: Of Proposals, Chili, & Suitcases

++SHANE++

Lily and I have been working together for three years. I've come to not only respect her as a coworker but a friend also. I could always tell when something was bugging her. And today, something was definitely bugging her.

We were going over a foreign policy communication proposal with the other seven liaisons and a few of the chief assistants and she hadn't spoken more than two words the entire meeting. And this is a girl who often took control even when she didn't always realize it.

The morning meeting ended with very little progress made, but Yvette Stuyvesant and Brooks Bossley had to whisk away to a meeting with the British members of the International Confederation of Wizards (that neither were looking forward to) in order to discuss the recent Death Eater spottings in Central America. And considering they were last spotted in North America, it seemed likely there might be some Death Eaters hiding out in Central America.

"We have to work on the wording of section 8," Lily was saying to me as we headed back to her office. "I can guarantee that Canada won't agree to this proposal until we take the disclaimer out. They're already squeamish when it comes to international communication between the different countries."

"That's because they're convinced they're superior to all other Ministries and don't need to adhere to any changes we attempt to make for the better," I muttered. As much as I enjoyed working with foreign policy and international law, Canada was beginning to rub me the wrong way.

She shrugged, slipping into her office with me right behind her. She groaned when she saw the stack of memos on her desk. "I think Lunder is trying to kill me by way of endless paperwork."

"Well, then he's trying to kill all of us," I pointed out with a shrug, easing myself into one of her guest chairs. "So you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

She glanced up at me, a surprised look on her face. I had a feeling it wasn't because of the horrible segue. "What?" she said.

"You've been awfully quiet all morning. And you seemed distracted during yesterday's staff meeting. And you had your door closed all Monday and Tuesday."

"You read too much into my actions," she muttered.

I shrugged. "Or maybe I just know your actions well."

She frowned and she started tapping her toe lightly against the ground like she often did when feeling anxious. "Do you ever want to get married?"

Well, that certainly got my attention. "What?"

She shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "Do you ever plan on marrying?"

I hesitated, thoroughly confused and yet intrigued. "I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe if the right girl came along." Or if the right girl simply noticed me as more than just a coworker.

"But if the right girl came along, you'd consider it, right?"

I had absolutely no idea where this was headed. "I guess. I don't know. It's not exactly an option for me right now, so it's hard to speculate."

She scowled. "Are all men this scared of marriage? As if settling down with the girl they love should come as a shock?"

Ah. "James doesn't want to get married?"

Her look softened and there was regret hidden behind her eyes. "This isn't about James. This is about all men."

I grinned slyly. "So you want to get married to all men, hm? Didn't realize that polygamy was your thing."

She rolled her eyes. "How about we get back to this proposal, hm?"

"Would that be the foreign policy proposal or the lacking marriage proposal?"

She gave me her best unhumored gaze, but there was a certain air of amusement in the way she was fighting a smile. "Very funny," she said dryly. "Section 9 needs more elaboration on written versus verbal agreements. We run into a lot of he said-she said debates over spoken arrangements. We need all final decisions to be made in writing."

We continued to discuss the communication proposal, but I was only half-listening. I was curious what had occurred between James and Lily in reference to the subject of marriage. It sounded to me as if James didn't want to get married. I personally think he was an idiot. He had one hell of a girl who loved him unconditionally and he should marry her before she comes to the realization that he wasn't worth her time.

There was a light knock on Lily's door and we both glanced up. Well, speak of the devil.

There was surprise in Lily's eyes when she saw James there. "Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," he apologized.

"Nah, it's just another draft of this communication proposal," I said with a shrug. "Believe me, we're happy for the interruption. How's Auror life?"

He smiled at me, but it was a hesitant smile. "Oh you know. Voldemort kills, the Death Eaters follow, and we train hard so that when we actually catch the bad guys, we can pommel them."

I snickered. "That should be the Auror motto."

"I'll suggest it to Scrimgeour."

"I expect credit for it."

James laughed. "I'll see what I can do." He glanced back at Lily, who was staring at him anxiously. "Do you have time to grab lunch with me, Lily?"

"Uh," she stumbled as she gazed towards me. "I-I don't know. We have a lot of work..." she trailed off. There was a look of pleading desperation on her face and I had a feeling she wanted me to chime in and say we were too busy. And that's what I wanted to do. But I couldn't.

"Nah, you two go ahead," I argued, forcing a fake smile on my face. "We can finish this afterward."

"You sure?" she said, her look unwavering.

I nodded. "Yeah. You crazy kids have fun," I teased. I reached for the draft on Lily's desk and headed towards the door. "Come find me later, Lily, and we can finish it up."

She nodded and I headed out of the room with a sigh. I traipsed into my own office two doors down with every intention of perusing the stack of memos on my desk, but my mind kept wandering. I hated that James Potter was such a good guy. I genuinely liked him. Everyone did upon first meeting him.

But liking James Potter made me feel guilty about having a crush on his girlfriend.

++LILY++

James and I were fairly quiet while walking to our usual deli. We tried to have lunch together every week, but more often than not, our busy, hectic schedules got in the way. And we had never gone to lunch before under such awkward pretenses. Honestly, I had no idea what had inspired James to stick his head into my office and request lunch. After our awkward conversation on Sunday, I was convinced we'd be attempting to avoid each other and the situation until we both had the chance to figure out what we really wanted.

I sighed. I guess he has already had enough with avoiding me. I just prayed that whatever it is he needed to figure out, it didn't end badly for me.

We slipped into an empty booth with my Caesar salad and his turkey club and before he could say anything, I blurted out, "Please tell me this isn't a break-up lunch."

He looked thoroughly alarmed. "What?"

I shrugged guiltily. "Well, what else am I supposed to think after Sunday night?"

"Do you really think I'd ask you to lunch to break up with you?" James asked, a hint of an amused smile on his face. "I'd at least wait 'til dinner. Wouldn't want you to have to go through the rest of the day sobbing because I dumped you."

I leaned back in the booth, scowling. "You have the tact of a peanut."

"Do peanuts have tact?"

"Not at all."

James chuckled, reaching for my hand and kissing my fingertips. "Lily, I'm not breaking up with you. Nor do I plan to anytime soon."

That should have made me feel slightly more at ease, but it didn't. It just reminded me again that we were at a standstill. "So...where does that leave us?" I dared to ask, my heart beating out of my chest.

A smile appeared on his face. A smile I couldn't read. He almost looked proud, and I was curious what his next words were going to be. "I hope that leaves us with you moving in with me."

I froze. What did he just say? "What did you just say?"

He laughed. "I want you to move in with me."

I narrowed my eyes, confused. Seriously, what did he just say? "Like...like move into Potter Manor? While you're still living there?"

I wasn't surprised when he laughed again. My question was beyond stupid. But I was absolutely floored. I was under the impression that he wanted everything to stay the same.

"Yes, Lily, the act of moving into Potter Manor while I'm still living there is precisely what I mean by you moving in with me."

I tried cracking a smile, but I was still too shocked to even attempt to show amusement. "But…but…huh?"

Laughter shone in his hazel eyes. "Lily," he said with a cheeky grin, reaching over the table for my hand. "Please move in with me."

I knew my eyes still showed skepticism as I chewed curiously on my bottom lip. "Why are you asking?"

A frown replaced his grin. "Not exactly the response I was looking for," he murmured.

I cringed guiltily. "Sorry, it's just that this is taking me a bit by surprised considering..." I trailed off, not sure where to begin. I felt my heart start to race as I inhaled sharply. "James, are you asking in hopes that that will be enough for me?" I murmured bluntly.

Realization flickered in his eyes. "Oh," he said, his eyes widening in surprise. "No, Lily, that's not it at all. I just...I don't know how...I can't...things..."

"So far, your persuasion skills are rather lacking."

He cracked a smile, reaching out to tuck my auburn hair behind my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine at the intimate gesture. "Lily," he whispered, his tone strangely even and complacent. I wondered what he was about to say. "I-I spent the past few days thinking about everything you said and...and realized that you were right. About it all. You gave me a million reasons why we should one day get married, and I...well, I didn't exactly give you any reason to believe that marriage shouldn't be an option for me. For us."

"Yeah, I noticed," I said, a little too hastily.

We both fell silent and a million thoughts started swarming through my head. But the one thought I kept focusing on was that I loved James. I just hoped it was enough.

"I'm ready to talk if you're ready to listen," he eventually spoke in a hoarse whisper.

My heart nearly ached out of its chest due to sheer desperation. I could barely muster a nod as I met the guilt in his hazel eyes. "I'm always ready to listen to you if you're ready to talk," I whispered, so badly just wanting him to talk to me. It's all I've ever wanted for four years. Talking about his feelings wasn't something James Potter was particularly good at when feeling even slightly vulnerable. And lately, he was most definitely feeling vulnerably.

His eyes didn't waver from mine as a slow frown framed his rigid jawline. "Honestly, Lily," he croaked out, "I-I have never been so incredibly frightened of the future than I am right now. I'm not ready for any big changes to happen to me because every time a change occurs, something bad happens. I feel like I'm…I'm constantly walking around in a state of dread wondering what's going to hit me next. And I hate feeling so paranoid and panicked all the bloody time. I especially hate knowing it's affecting our relationship," he whispered, blinking guiltily.

He instinctively reached over and brushed a strand of hair from my face, hesitating only slightly to slowly twirl it around on his finger daintily. "But I guess for the first time in a really long while, I just felt like things were maybe finally getting back on track. I felt that perhaps I could stop walking around so damned desperate to gain control back of a life, my life, that had gone so wildly different than I ever could have imagined. And so...I-I know it probably sounds ridiculous but for once, I just wanted to stand still in the moment and keep things the way they were. For as long as I could until the next horrible things popped up. Does that make any sense?"

It wasn't often I saw known fear in the eyes of James Potter, but I could tell he wasn't lying when he said he walked around in a state of dread. My fingers danced lightly on the palm of his hand as I gazed up at him. "Yeah," I said sincerely, nodding slowly. "I get that, James. Believe me, if anyone understands not being able to deal with change well, it's me." And I meant it. Just because I've had a lot to overcome didn't mean I handled any of it well. "After my parents died and my sister walked out on me, my whole life was turned upside down. I woke up every morning wondering what the hell was going to happen to me next. I always felt so trapped in a world of pain and tragedy."

He sighed, pulling his hand back from mine hesitantly. "I do, too," he murmured. He glanced up at me, a flicker of sadness flashing in his eyes. "Lily, you have to know that it's not marriage with you that scares me. And it's certainly not our relationship. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And you certainly remind me that there is still good left in the world. When I'm with you, I...I forget about everything else. You make me forget about all of the bad things in my life and in the wizarding world. You make me forget this war and hell, it's not easy doing that. I really can't imagine not having you in my life." His voice seemed distant and strained. Like he was trying to convince himself of these words.

And I didn't totally understand where he was going with this. If he felt that way and if marriage really didn't scare him, why was he so determined to keep things the way they were? My heart skipped a beat. "That's a good thing, right?" I commented for lack of anything better to say.

He nodded slowly, guilt passing through his eyes. "The thing is, Lily, is that I…" he trailed off, the words catching in his throat. I knew whatever he was holding back was something he wasn't sure he was ready to share with me.

"Tell me, James," I whispered pleadingly.

He blinked hesitantly before meeting my gaze. He swallowed hard, his eyes flickering with an enormous amount of uncertainty. "My world seems to be falling apart around me. My family aren't the people they were ten years ago. I've lost a lot of good people in my life and I don't want to invite you into this life if that means losing you."

I knew that for so long James felt so out of control of his destiny and the destinies of the people around him, but it broke my heart to think he was alone in feeling that way. "James, I say this with love," I spoke hesitantly. "You're an idiot."

He blinked. "That didn't sound very loving."

I cracked a smile. "I hate to break it to you, but I already am a part of that world that you think is crumbling around you. Marriage or not, you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. And if something else gets thrown our way - if we lose someone else to this war, I'm going to be by your side to help you get through it. We can't control what happens around us. I know you'd like to think you can but-"

"Ugh, people need to stop saying that."

"-we're in the middle of a war that we are actively fighting in. Tragedy is inevitable. But I can promise you, James, that you won't lose me. Not if I can help it."

He frowned hesitantly, sitting back in his chair with a curious dim in his eyes. "Yeah, it's the 'not if I can help it' part that makes me nervous," he muttered.

I reached across the table for his hand and was glad when he squeezed it tightly. "You can't be around to protect me all the time."

He shuddered, shaking his head. "No, but if you move in with me, I'd be one step closer."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, so is that why you want me to move in with you? So that you never have to lose sight of me?"

"Of course. And if you could work from home and pretty much never leave the house unless it's with me, I'd appreciate that, too."

I tossed a crouton at his nose, which only caused him to laugh. "I love you, but I once again have to reiterate what a total idiot you are."

"You've never spoken such sweeter words to me."

I tried not to show any signs of outward amusement. "The world is a scary place right now," I murmured, my heart constricting at the very thought. "None of us know what's around the corner. And none of us were ever good at dealing with the unknown and the unpredictable, but that's what we're stuck with right now. But to me, none of that even matters as long as I have you by my side. I know that everything will be okay if you're in my life. And that's enough for me. I just...I want that to be enough for you, too."

He glanced down at his plate awkwardly before meeting my curious gaze once again. "I will marry you some day, Lily Evans," he whispered.

My eyebrow arched in surprise. "What?"

He chuckled. "You're right. The world is a scary place right now. And I think there are times where I actually believe love is enough to conquer all. But that doesn't mean I'm still not scared out of my damned mind at the possibility of losing you. Losing anyone else really. I-I don't want to end up like my father who left because he thought that meant giving the rest of us a better life. Because I can assure you my life would not be better without you. You're everything to me. You're it. You're my world. But..."

"No, no buts. Go back to telling me how I'm your everything."

He grinned, tracing circles on the back of my hand. "It's not a bad but," he whispered. "I'm just not ready to look past the fear and the tragedy and the dangers that our present world holds. I want the moment I ask you to marry me to be a moment full of love and hope and passion. I don't want to propose out of fear or uncertainty or obligation. I want it to be real. I want it to mean something. And I want to do it because I can't imagine not doing it. Not because I feel obligated. And you deserve that, too."

That's all I really needed to hear.

"But you have to know how much I need you in my life. I do. it actually hurts how much I need you," he whispered, smiling awkwardly. "Which brings me back to the reason I asked you to lunch."

I smiled shyly.

"Move in with me, Lily." It wasn't a question, it was a request.

I hesitated, wrapping my head around the long speech James just provided to me. "The guys will be heartbroken," I contemplated.

"They'll get over it."

"You sure you're ready to live with a girl?"

"With you, absolutely."

"What if you're asking me because you really just need a maid and a cook?"

He grinned. "That is an incentive, yes."

"Are you ready to go to sleep every night next to me and wake up beside me every morning?"

"Are you trying to wind me up?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes," I said with a teasing smile. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I wanted nothing more than to move in with James. But it was a lot of fun making James sweat it out.

James squeezed my hand, his smoldering hazel eyes staring desperately at me. He reached over the table and pressed his lips determinedly against mine. When he pulled away, his eyes were merely inches from mine. And I knew that he wasn't asking me to make me forget the conversation we had on Sunday. He was asking me because he really wanted me to move in with him. It was that plain and simple, even in a world of confusion and pain. "The only question you should be asking me, Lily, is if I love you. And the answer to that is unequivocally yes."

It was the kiss that did me in. His kisses still made my knees go weak. And it was then I realized how much I needed him, too. "Okay."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Okay? Is that an okay I'll move in with you or an okay I already know that you unequivocally love me?"

I framed his face with my hands. "That's an okay, let's move in together," I whispered before pressing my lips to his.

He pumped his fist into the air and cheered, earning a round of looks from the surrounding tables.

I laughed as James glanced over at the table beside me where an elderly couple sat in alarm and said, "Sorry, I'm just really excited. My girlfriend just agreed to move in with me!"

"James!" I whined, slumping down out of pure embarrassment.

The woman narrowed her eyes at him. "Living in sin! You're both going straight to hell!" She grabbed her husband's hand and immediately skidded out of the deli.

My eyes widened with amused shock, a chuckle at the end of my lips.

James just shrugged, slumping back down into his seat with an overdramatic sigh. "Hm, let's hope our friends give us a warmer reaction."

++JAMES++

"Where the hell have you been? We're supposed to be down in the training facilities in five minutes!"

I rolled my eyes. "Why hello to you too, Lafevre," I muttered.

"Where have you been?" she demanded to know.

I plopped down into my chair, shooting her an irritated look. "I was at lunch," I retorted. I had no idea what compelled me to add, "Asking my girlfriend to move in with me."

Slowly, her eyebrow arched. "I can't imagine it must have been that hard to convince her seeing as she's inflatable."

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood or I would have considered hexing you."

She smirked. "I'm assuming you're in a good mood because the girlfriend said yes. That or you had a particularly delicious sandwich."

I rolled my eyes. "While my sandwich was particularly delectable, Lily did in fact agree to move with with me."

"Oh yeah?" she said slowly. "What kind of sandwich was it?"

I glared at her. "Gee, your heartfelt reaction is really touching."

I don't know what reaction I expected from her, but a smile certainly wasn't it. Come to think of it, this is the first smile that I've actually seen from her. "I don't do touching," she teased. She hesitated at my unamused glare, shrugging. "Alright, fine but just this once. Congratulations, Potter. Really."

Okay, she was up to something. "Congratulations?"

"Yes, it's what people say to express joy in the good fortune of others."

I rolled my eyes. "I know what it means, thank you very much. I'm just surprised to hear those words come out of your mouth."

"What, can't believe I can actually be nice?"

"No, no I can't."

She frowned, tapping her foot impatiently. "What did you want me to say? That sucks? Did you have to bribe her? Or blackmail her? Did you slip something into her food? What kind of brain-dead inflatable doll of a girlfriend do you have who would actually agree to shack up with a surly lunatic like yourself?"

"Okay, that last one sounded a bit rehearsed."

I was even more shocked when a laugh escaped her lips. "Sorry, lunatic."

"And now you're cracking non-cynical jokes to me?" I said, shocked.

"Calling you a lunatic is non-cynical?" she said. "Duly noted."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, what the hell happened to you in the hour that I was away at lunch?"

She cracked a smile, leaning back in her chair with a curious glint in her eye. "Potter, did you ever think that we butt heads because we're so similar?"

I quirked an eyebrow. "No, that thought never crossed my mind."

"Well, we are. We crack cynical jokes and we use sarcasm merely as a front."

"A front for what?"

She frowned. "Dealing with whatever we're really feeling."

My heart skipped a beat. Damn, maybe she knew me better than I thought she did. "Oh? And what am I really feeling, Lafevre?"

"Fear."

Okay, she answered that question a little too quickly. I declined to argue. "And what are you really feeling?"

She hesitated, panic flashing in her eyes. "We should head downstairs," she said hastily, rushing out of her chair immediately.

I scowled. Why is it that she was so determined to hide every aspect of her life from me? "Dammit, Lafevre," I grunted. "We don't know a thing about each other and we're supposed to be partners. Why can't we actually attempt to get to know each other without changing the subject?"

"Can we start with some easier questions at least?" she scoffed. "Like where do you live? Are you dating anyone? What school did you attend? How old are you?"

"I already know all of those things," I responded immediately. "Except for the school question because I know you didn't attend Beauxbatons."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Have you been checking up on me?"

I snorted. "Like you haven't done the same for me?"

She hesitated. "Fair enough. So are we heading downstairs or what?"

I sighed. Clearly I wasn't going to get any answers today. "Yeah, whatever."

As we waited for the elevator, she turned to me briefly with a skeptical gaze. "I did mean my congratulations, James. Believe me, I get that it's difficult in this industry to keep your loved ones around so it's always nice to hear when things work out."

I was shocked by the brief show of gratitude. "Thanks," I said lamely. "I think."

She simply shrugged. The elevator doors opened and we mixed with the people inside.

We didn't say another word to each other for the next hour of training. But I couldn't help glance over at her periodically wondering what she knew about keeping loved ones around in this industry.

Or what her non-cynical jokes and sarcasm was really covering up.

++KEEGAN++

I was shocked to enter our apartment to see the kitchen light on and to hear clanging noises from what I can assume was Lily fixing herself dinner. I glanced down at my watch and saw that it was only five-thirty. Roughly two hours earlier than Lily often arrived home from work.

"Lily?"

She glanced behind her. "Hey, Keegan. Want some chili?"

"What are you doing here?"

She gazed at me, amused. "I live here. Well, for now anyway."

"But you're home so early," I protested. "And what do you mean 'for now?'"

She placed down the ladle on the stove and turned around to face me, a grin forming on her face. "James asked me to move in with him."

My jaw dropped. I didn't see that coming. "Wow, what came over Mr. I-don't-want-anything-to-change?" We had had a long drawn-out conversation on Monday night where we finished off two whole bottles of wine and discussed the wall that James had built around him.

She shrugged, her smile not wavering. "I have no clue. Someone must have talked some sense into him."

"Ah, I do enjoy how logical Remus can be."

She laughed. "What makes you think it's Remus?"

"You just said someone had to talk some sense into him. Who else do we know that actually has some semblance of sense floating around in their brain? And so help me Merlin, if the words Sirius or Black come out of your month, this chili will be all over the front of your shirt."

She grinned. "I would never consider putting the words Sirius, Black, or sense in the same sentence unless there is a no in front of that sense."

I laughed, throwing the newspaper layout in my arms on to the table. "Well, this calls for a celebration!"

"Sirius not having any sense calls for a celebration?"

I shot her a mock unamused look. "No! You moving in with that commitment-phobe boyfriend of yours," she chuckled. "Do we still have that leftover bottle of champagne that you brought back from Dezzy's wedding?"

"Yeah, I think so. Check the cupboard."

When I returned, two bowls of chili were on the table and Lily was gazing up at me pensively. "Does champagne go with chili?" I asked her.

She shrugged awkwardly, only half paying attention to me. "Guess we're about to find out," she said, somewhat absentmindedly.

I popped the champagne cork and poured us two glasses into beer steins (why we have beer steins and yet no champagne glasses in our apartment is completely beyond me). "What are you thinking right now?"

She frowned. "Should I have questioned James further about why he wants me to move in with him?"

I gave her a look. "Do you feel like you need to question him?"

"Not really," she said slowly. "I know he was being sincere."

"Then why do you look so worried?"

Her frown wavered as she slowly sipped the champagne. "I don't know."

I offered her a lopsided smile. "You've never lived with a guy before. That's why."

"Should I be worried?"

I shrugged. "How should I know?"

"Because you have lived with a guy before."

Oh, right. I fell silent, busying myself by stirring the steaming chili. I tried coming up with something to say that wouldn't give too much away of my past. "Don't be worried. This is a good thing. Just be happy."

Her eyes pierced through mine and I had a sneaking suspicion she wasn't entirely convinced. "Can I ask you something?" she asked softly.

I had a feeling what was coming next but I nodded anyway.

"Why did you two break up?"

Yep, I knew that was coming. I had no idea what to say, though. The truth would make no sense to anyone but me. How exactly was I supposed to tell the girl who was vying to marry her boyfriend that my ex-boyfriend had proposed and hence, I had to break up with him? "We just weren't right for each other," I said vaguely. Well, he wasn't right for me. Based off the yelling match we had when I broke up with him, he thought I was right for him.

"Gee, could you be less specific."

I cracked a smile. "We moved in together too early in the relationship." That was partly true. "It was kinda a downward spiral from there." That wasn't true. "And one day, I...I just realized I couldn't be with him anymore." That was totally true.

"Why not?"

Damn, stop interrogating me! "He...he expected more out of our relationship and I didn't."

Lily frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means that it's a good thing we broke up when we did or I never would have moved in with you," I said with a cheeky grin. "Which ironically didn't really work out too well since now you're leaving me."

She sighed, a sudden distressed look appearing on her face as she gazed around the kitchen. I had a feeling it was because she was suddenly a bit nostalgic. I know that she had moved into this flat in the September following her Hogwarts graduation. And three years later, she was finally moving out. Just when we were beginning to make it feel like home. "I'm going to miss you."

I smiled. "It's going to be so weird without a roommate."

"Well, Sirius and Remus will be needing a new-"

"Hell to the no!"

She laughed. "Hm, didn't think so."

"Knock, knock!" a voice cried out from the foyer.

Lily grinned, jumping up from the table immediately and rushing out of the kitchen.

"Your chili is going to get cold!" I cried out with a chuckle.

Minutes later, James walked into the kitchen with Lily on his back. "Hey, Keegan," he greeted, hoisting Lily down. "Did I hear a mention of chili?"

I chuckled and pointed to the stove. "Lily made it, but I pour a mean glass of champagne."

He grinned. "I'll take some of both."

Lily nodded and obliged his request. I leaned back in my chair, staring at James in scrutiny as he took a seat beside me. "So I hear you're stealing my roommate."

He gazed up at me sheepishly. "Do you hate me?"

"No, it's about damned time," I snorted, laughing at the glare he shot towards me. "Don't give me that look. It has been nearly four years."

James rolled his eyes, grabbing Lily's hand as she handed him the champagne. He kissed her hand thoughtfully. I made a face. Sometimes, they were way too cute for my taste. "Four years too late," James said softly, his eyes not straying from Lily.

I shuddered. "Suddenly, I am not so hungry."

James chuckled, finally turning away from his girlfriend long enough to look at me. "Well, get ready to never be hungry again," he teased as he grabbed Lily and pulled her down on top of him. She shrieked but laughed, teasing him with a few light kisses. They have officially surpassed 'cute' and moved into disgustingly mushy.

"I suddenly feel like I'm the third wheel on your date. Wait, did I say date? I meant foreplay," I joked, finishing off the rest of my champagne and jumping up from the table. "I'll leave you two alone. Try not to taint this kitchen like you've tainted everything else in this apartment."

"Aw, don't go." I turned around, surprised to hear that it was James who argued. "I didn't mean to run you off."

"You're not running me off," I protested with a shrug, grabbing the newspaper layout from the table. "I have articles to finish editing anyway."

He frowned, his gaze not faltering from mine. "I really am sorry to be taking your roommate away."

My heart skipped a beat. I didn't think I needed to hear that but the deep regret and guilt in his voice made me appreciative. I was happy for Lily, I genuinely was. But she was a strong tie to the group of people I now hung out with. And maybe a part of me was a little afraid of losing that tie with Lily leaving. I wondered if James knew what I was thinking. The look on his face made me think he did. "Thanks for that, but you don't have to be sorry for moving in with the girl you love," I was quick to say, smiling. I could see a slight blush creeping on to Lily's cheeks. "I can handle myself. In fact, I was thinking of turning Lily's room into a spa."

She scowled. "I told you a half hour ago I was moving and you're already thinking of ideas for renovation?"

I grinned. "You know how much I've always wanted a Jacuzzi."

James sat upright. "Ooh, on second thought, maybe I'll move in with you instead."

He ducked as Lily smacked him on the back of his head. "You do realize that if you wanted to install a Jacuzzi, you have about a million rooms in your home to do so," she pointed out.

He hesitated. "Who really needs a kitchen anyway?"

"Uh, I do," Lily snorted, shooting him a look.

"Damn, I knew asking you to move in with me would bite me in the ass one day," he muttered.

"That didn't take long," I snickered.

"And I'd stop talking if you don't want that chili spilled in your lap," Lily warned, making a face.

"Hm, duly noted," he said with a grin, kissing the side of her face.

"Well, as much as I would love to see a bowl of chili thrust into James' lap, I really do have articles to edit," I spoke, banishing my bowl of chili and empty wine glass into the sink. "I repeat: please do not taint this kitchen."

"Sorry, I cannot promise that," James said, brushing Lily's hair behind her shoulder to kiss her neck.

I shuddered. "I can't understand why you two continue to spend all your time here when you have an entire manor named after you, Mr. Potter," I murmured, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Because we have to taint every single inch of this apartment before I move out?" Lily suggested with a grin.

A groan escaped my mouth as I practically rushed out of the room. "Maybe it's a good thing you're moving out, Lily Evans!"

All I could hear was the two of them kissing as I headed into my bedroom.

I tried reading the articles in front of me, but I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about Damien and the relationship we shared. Being with him had always been so easy because when we first started casually dating, neither one of us wanted anything serious. We had our fun and if one of us didn't check in for a few days, the other didn't care. I felt free and uncontrolled around him. I didn't feel tied down and I didn't feel the panic I often felt after a few months with someone. He felt more like a best friend than a boyfriend. We never even used that title. When my lease on my flat was up, he suggested moving in with him. My first thought was how much money that would save me. So I did it. And it worked for a while. Until I came home from work to rose petals strewn everywhere and Damien down on one knee in the living room. I turned around and walked out in complete shock. I reentered the flat a few hours later after strolling around the neighborhood to collect my thoughts. The rose petals had been chucked into the garbage and Damien was sitting at the kitchen table with what I could only assume was his fifth or sixth beer. We argued back and forth (one of our only arguments that we ever had during our eight-month relationship) until I finally told him that I couldn't be with him anymore. I walked out of the flat for a second time that night and never saw him again.

If he had never proposed to me, there's no doubt in my mind that I would still be with him. Because to me, casual and easy was what a relationship should be. I ironically did like being in relationships. I liked the comfort that came with knowing someone would always be there for me. It was honestly rare for me to be single. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was fear of being alone.

But it was my fear of commitment that kept these relationships casual. I just hoped that Fabian understood that.

++JAMES++

"I don't know how to say this," I started slowly and nervously, "but Lily and I have decided it's time to move in together. I hope you can support this decision because both Lily and I are extremely excited about this. But sadly, this means that we can no longer be roommates. I can't imagine living in this house without you guys but it's time that I step up and take control of my future. Which ironically, you both hinted at last night out on the balcony. It won't be the same living here without you and I will help you in any way to find a new place to live. Hey, I hear Keegan needs a new roommate! I wish we could all live together, but I think it's sadly time for me to grow up and focus on my relationship with Lily. I do hope this doesn't change anything between us because you guys will always be my best friends." I exhaled slowly and glanced up. "Well?"

Lily shrugged, stifling a yawn. "You sound way too formal," she teased. "If you barged into Remus' and Sirius' rooms, threw a suitcase at them, and told them to start packing their things because I'm moving in and they're moving out, you'd probably get the same reaction."

"They're more delicate than that!"

Lily was clearly trying to hold back a smirk. "Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are delicate?"

"They're losing their best friend as a roommate!"

This time she didn't bother trying to hold back. She burst out into laughter. "You are such a girl."

I pouted, a slow frown breaking out on my face. I placed the parchment back on my desk, staring at it sadly. "We've been roommates for ten years," I said softly. "It's just going to be..."

"Different?" she interrupted.

I nodded.

"I know the feeling, James," she pointed out cautiously. "You three are best friends and I know it's not going to be the same when you don't live with them anymore. Believe me, I get it. When Kay moved out of my flat, it felt empty for a long time. But-"

"I knew there was a but," I whined.

She flashed me a sympathetic smile. "Moving in with Lance was the next step in her life, so of course I was going to support her. And Sirius and Remus are going to support you, too."

"I know that," I muttered. "It's not about support. It's about...about..." Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure what it was about.

She shrugged knowingly. "It's about you not wanting to lose that brotherly bond you have with them."

Damn, she knew me well. "Maybe. Does that make me sound completely wussy?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Not at all. You three have been through a lot. It's natural to feel just a tad panicked at the thought of moving on."

She was right. I knew that I was really going to miss having Sirius and Remus around all the time. When I wasn't at work or with Lily, I was constantly goofing off with them and making memories that would last us a lifetime. I didn't know if I was ready to move on from all that.

But at the same time, there's no one I'd rather move on with than Lily.

I wandered over to where Lily was lying in the bed and leaned over the bed to give her a short, yet sweet, kiss. "You know I love you, right?" I whispered, touching my forehead to hers.

"I know," she whispered, framing my face with her hands and pressing her lips gently against mine. She patted the bed beside her. "Come to bed and stop practicing a speech to relay to the guys. You sound way too rehearsed," she said. "Oh, and I'm pretty sure you giving them the idea to move in with Keegan will just make them hate you and not want to support you. Well, with Sirius at least."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, just trying to add a bit of humor to a difficult situation."

"I know," she said with a smile. "Now seriously, your side of the bed is getting cold and I'm getting lonely."

I made a face. "I haven't perfected this speech yet!"

She groaned. "I say you go with the whole throwing-suitcases-at-them plan."

"As fun as that would be," I teased, kissing her forehead, "I think I'm going to stick with the speech plan."

She smiled. "They're lucky to have you as a friend, James."

"They're not going to think so when I kick them out on the streets."

She rolled her eyes at me. "It's going to take a lot more than me moving in with you to make them think badly of you."

"Let's hope so," I muttered, wandering back to my desk pensively. "Do you think I should add in a part about how we've been roommates for ten years?"

The ends of Lily's mouth twitched upwards. "You are so adorable."

"Thanks, but that's not really going to help me get this written." I winked at her.

She laughed and nestled into the bed with a stifled yawn, plumping up her pillow. "Well, get it written fast because watching you write a speech to the guys was not really how I planned on celebrating our decision to live together."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" I said suspiciously. "And exactly what did you have planned?"

She smiled that temptuous smile she knows turns me on. "I didn't realize you needed me to spell it out for you," she whispered, her voice hoarse with seduction. She pulled off her tank top in a single swoop, exposing her perky breasts.

I threw down my quill immediately. "Speech can wait," I said hoarsely, pulling my T-shirt over my head and discarding it against the floor as I flew on to the bed, my eyes never leaving hers.

"I love you, James," she murmured, moving herself atop me as she pressed her lips lightly against my bare chest.

"I hope this is just a preview of what's to come, Miss Roommate," I whispered teasingly, my hands becoming tangled in her silky hair.

She chuckled, slowly meeting my gaze as her lips made their way up my neck and jawline until they perched just out of reach of my own lips. "I hope the key word in that sentence was come."

"Oh, it most definitely was," she spoke as our lips met in a fiery passion. It only took minutes before we were tangled naked in the sheets.

I couldn't help but think this whole moving in with each other plan was an excellent idea.

++REMUS++

"I don't know how to say this," James started slowly and nervously, "but Lily and I have decided it's time to move in together. I hope you can support this decision because both Lily and I are extremely excited about this. But sadly, this means that we can no longer be roommates. I can't imagine living in this house without you guys but it's time that I step up and take control of my future. Which ironically, you both hinted at last night out on the balcony. We've been living together for ten years now and it seems unreal to me that in just a few short weeks, I will no longer be able to call you my roommates. It won't be the same living here without you, but please know that I will help you in any way to find a new place to live. Hey, I hear Keegan needs a new roommate! I wish we could all live together, but I think it's time for me to grow up and focus on my relationship with Lily. I do hope this doesn't change anything between us because you guys will always be my best friends."

I stared back at him. "You made us stop our game of chess for that?"

"Promise me she won't try and change the game room," Sirius whined.

"I hope you realize your days of endless take-out are over. That girl's gonna want to eat some real food now and again."

"And there's no way in hell I'm moving in with Keegan. I'd be better off on the streets."

"You might want to call a cleaning company and get this place sterilized before she moves in. When was the last time we cleaned around here?"

"And please tell me you didn't practice that speech in front of a mirror," Sirius snickered.

James scowled, his brow furrowing in frustration. "I didn't practice in front of a mirror," he muttered.

Sirius and I both shot him a look.

"I just practiced with Lily," he said hastily, which caused Sirius and myself to break out into uncontainable laughter. "And I'm beginning to feel less guilty for making you two move out!"

I have no idea why, but that made us laugh even more. He was obviously a little frustrated that we weren't taking this seriously. And while I thought it was touching that James clearly feels so bad for the sudden change, Sirius and I knew this was a long time coming. It was James that needed the convincing, not us. Sirius and I had already discussed what to do when the time came for James to get his butt into gear and invite Lily to move in with him. We would be fine without him. Sad, yes. But fine.

"Bishop to C5," Sirius snickered, returning to our game of chess. (He was losing miserably. I have no idea why he always insisted on playing me when he always lost. Maybe he actually thought he'd beat me some day. That idea is laughable.)

James scowled. "I should have just thrown suitcases at you, demanded you start packing because Lily was moving in and left it at that," he muttered.

I shrugged. "You would have gotten this same reaction."

He slumped down in his chair. "I should really remember to listen to Lily's advice for future reference."

I had no idea what that was referring to, but my guess was Lily had suggested throwing suitcases at us and James still continued to plan out a speech. "Prongs, you moving in with Lily is a good thing," I reminded him as I moved my knight to C5. A yelp was heard from Sirius' bishop as its head was chopped off. "Don't worry about us. We'll find somewhere else to live."

"It better have a game room," Sirius grumbled. I had a feeling his grumbling had something to do with the fact that I was about to claim checkmate. "In fact, I claim the big-screen TV."

"You most certainly do not!" James argued. "I bought that myself!"

"Oh, yeah. Well, then I claim the foosball table."

"Again, bought that myself."

"Then I'm taking this wizarding chess board with me!"

"You suck at wizarding chess."

"Besides, this board is mine," I snickered.

"So pretty much, I'm getting screwed?"

"Yeah, pretty much," James responded.

Sirius slumped down. "I hope Lily hates living with you."

"Gee, thanks for the support."

The ends of Sirius' mouth turned upwards. "Well, I say this calls for a celebration!"

"You getting screwed calls for a celebration?" James teased.

Sirius glared at him. "I was more talking about you finally having enough balls to move in with your girlfriend of four years."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, we can celebrate that, too," he said, a smile spreading across his lips. His eyes were beaming with pride and I was surprised to realize that I was feeling overjoyed at the thought of James finally stepping up and taking his relationship to the next level. I knew how wary Lily had been feeling recently about James and I was grateful that James did something about it. Sadly, I couldn't help but remember that over a year ago, I had asked Jillian to move in with me. I can only hope that it works out for James and Lily more so than it did for me.

Because as weird as it sounded, those two are my last bit of hope in the world. With Sirius and myself destined to be alone, I was determined to see at least one of my friends get the happy ending he deserved.

A/N: More Sydny and more Keegan! And the best part: James and Lily are moving in together! Teasers for next chapter: evening at Blarney's, singing in the streets, and what's this about someone hitting on their cousins!?