18th June.

I have been summoned to the palace. I know what its for. I told the King I needed a moment to prepare my bag. Truthfully, I needed the time to try and control the bubbling pit of hatred that writhes in my core.

HUMANS.

Does he not know my history with them?! Does he not understand how it feels to watch your beloved unravel before you with a rusty pitchfork in her chest? 60 years of my life I gave those filthy, wretched monkeys, and what did I get? No gratitude, nothing! Just misery and loss! I suppose I'd better get this over with. It's been a long time since I've worked with humans again...

I wish the damn thing had died back there in the ruins.

19th June

My world has been turned upside down.

I feel numb.

I had so much hatred going to the palace. As I walked, monsters fled before me. I can't imagine how they must have felt, seeing something like me stalking towards the palace like a predator, eye burning with cold blue fire.

I would have fled too.

Even the King cringed back when he first saw me.

They led me to the medical wing. And the human.

Just a child, but even then all I could feel was fire in my heart. Just another pink ape. It screamed as it saw me, a creature of nightmares, a skeleton looming over it, eyes black as night.

And as it threw its arm across its face to block the sight of me, its sleeve fell away and my rage vanished, leaving only a chill.

Toriel told me the child had fallen.

Falls don't leave bruises like handprints.

When the fog of my hatred lifted, I saw the details I'd missed the first time. Lank, unkempt hair, ground in dirt and worn clothes, bones almost showing through the skin. I moved slowly around them, handling the delicate limbs like fine china even as they tried to cringe away. Asriel clung to his mothers robes as he babbled the story. Against his parents wishes, he'd been exploring the ruins, a place supposed to be strictly off limits to children. He'd heard a crashing noise and a desperate scream for help and come running. It's good he did, the child was quite injured, their arm badly broken and face covered in dried blood from a bleeding nose. I was able to bribe their name out of them with a piece of candy.

Chara.

I was able to examine them more thoroughly after that. They're a mess. Someone really worked them over, I've never seen so many bruises. I did the best I could with healing items and a cast, but what they really need is love and care. I saw the look on Toriels face, and the way Asriel stared in wide eyed wonder at the child. I don't think that will be hard to find.

I hugged my children very close when I got home.

21st June

Another urgent call to the palace, this time to dose a very sore stomach. Sadly, Toriel had thought that since the child was so hungry, a big rich meal was needed, and had made them snail pie. Her snail pie is very nourishing indeed, but rich food on an empty stomach is not a good combination, and the child was quite miserable. Poor Toriel feels terrible, but she didn't know. Can't be helped. It's best Chara is given something like soup for a while, something nice and easy on the stomach.

26th June.

I've never seen the underground so abuzz with gossip before. Everywhere I go theres a feel in the air, like in the old days on the surface before a thunderstorm. Theres no anger at the king for harbouring a human, just an electric buzz. The talk is in every bar, coffee shop and work place. I can't avoid it even at the worksite on the core. When they found out I had treated the child...great heavens I could barely move with monsters barraging me with questions. Theres this feeling in the air, something I can't quite out my finger on...

29th June

Found some brightly coloured comic books in the trash today. Something about robots, I wasn't really paying attention. With this renewed interest in humans after the recent events, Alphys asked if she could take the comic to "study their culture"

Might have been a mistake, she hasn't shut up about the damn thing all day.

2nd July.

Asgore told me a sad little anecdote from the palace over Chara's latest checkup. He'd told Chara about the barrier, how they were trapped forever. And they'd hugged his knees and wept in thanks.

I...I want to hate this child. They're human, them and their kind are why I sleep alone. But in the face of those big sad eyes...I just can't. It's like my hate drains away every time I see them.

I can see Papyrus and Sans discussing it. San is cagey, he remembers the war, even if the memories might be slightly fuzzy with time, but Papyrus remembers nothing, chattering about the human happily.

At least...I think he remembers nothing. Sometimes I see him go strangely still, staring at the cloth he was wrapped in when he first came to me, now worn as a fluttering red cape. Does he remember his mother, perhaps? He was only a baby, how much can he recall?

30th September

Checked up on Chara. Physically, they're recovering well. Mentally...I'm not too sure. They huddle into themselves whenever they can, cringing back from the lightest touch. Asriel seems to have taken a shine to them, doing his best to bring the human out of their shell. I think these are wounds I can't heal. Only time can do that.

14th October

Went down to the palace today to drop of Charas vitamin prescription. A lot of medical manuals for humans drop down in the dump. I take care with these, unwanted text books are most likely out of date, but I've been able to synthesize a mixture of what every book seems to agree is important for a sick child.

I found Asgore and Toriel peering around the door to the throne room, and was hushed into silence as I approached, the pair smiling as broadly as the day Asriel was born.

In the throne room there are always birds, tiny scraps of life that fly through the Barrier and cannot escape. Toriel sets aside breadcrumbs for them, and they've recognized Asriel as someone who won't harm them. Often they'll perch on his head even when he has no food to offer, following him around the garden as he helps his father weed. Him and Chara were kneeling in a bed of bluebells, hands full of breadcrumbs as hungry birds perched everywhere they could on Asriel. Chara had eyes like saucers, I don't think they've ever seen birds this close before. In the golden artificial light, it was a scene that was almost...holy, Asriel smiling like the old human religious images of saints as he moved with the gentleness he inherited from his father, guiding birds into Charas hands carefully. I wonder what it was like for the child, exploding into this world of light and colour and soft hands? No wonder they seem shell shocked, gazing around as though they've only just opened their eyes for the first time.

I wonder what the king and queen will do?

21st October

There has been an announcement from the Palace today.

Chara has been officially adopted into the royal family.

Whatever name they carried before they came here is gone. Now they are Chara Dreemur.

I finally put my finger on that emotion I was feeling in the underground earlier.

Hope.

Hope.

I never thought I'd feel it again. It's like a tiny, fragile moth fluttering in my ribcage, the smallest spark, so easily snuffed, yet holding on. Human lives are so short, what's 90 years or so to the average monster? 90 years more, then a soul to set us free. The king was talking in his speech about "Peace in our time" and "A bridge between worlds".

Peace between monsters and humans... Do they deserve our mercy? I look at Chara and what was done to them and wonder...

1st November

The Core will be complete soon. It's been universally decided by the workers that we'll be keeping The Core as its name, everyone got used to it. I've taken care to quickly put it on the official documents before Asgore asks to name it and we wind up with "The power building" or something.

I estimate a few more months before the entire underground is lit.

5th November

Papyrus boldly approached me today with a handful of badly, if earnestly drawn blueprints. I had mentioned in passing a while back we would need to think of adding puzzles to the Core soon. They can be a pain, but they are also our birthright, an ancient and noble tradition.

The blueprints were a mess, but the puzzles were amazing! I've helped him tidy them up so the builders can read them, and sent him along with a letter stating he's been put in charge of this endevour.

Everyone has something they're good at, a skill they were born to use. There is no greater tragedy then someone reaching the end of their life without finding out what their soul burns to do, fishers who could have made paintings that sang to the world never touching a paintbrush, a janitor who could have written novels that seared across a soul never being given the chance to find out.

Sans has found his skill in science, Papyrus has his puzzles.

And his kindness.

16th November.

Spent half an hour trying to get into the office they built for me in the Core. Might need to have a word to Papyrus about not putting them EVERYWHERE.

I'm not even going to talk about the epic struggle needed to get a cup of coffee from the machine.

19th November.

Alphys has taken an interest in human souls lately, trying to determine through theory alone ways they might be used to break the barrier without the full seven. She's been producing essay after essay on the nature of Determination. I shut down her request to build a machine to extract it, however. We only have one human soul here and we aren't going to put little Chara in harms way.

22nd November

No Alphys I am not going to watch Mew Mew Kissy Cutie with you.

2nd October.

First test run with the Core today. The King and his children arrived to oversee. Chara is improving in leaps and bounds. They still cling to Asgores robes in public, but they're much more animated, peering around at everything with real interest. Physically, they're in perfect shape, they had an examination last week, and I'm confident they can recover quickly in the mental department. Asriel is usually filled with curiosity about the rising Core, but he chose to hang back and hold Charas hand today. The two seem very close. The test run went well, apart from a few blown fuses in some of the sectors. Easily repaired and we can see where we went wrong. With any luck, the official opening should go smoothly.

31st October

Halloween night. The boys are both too old to participate in trick or treating now, so they commandeered the candy bowl at the door. I was rather surprised to hear Papyrus loudly greeting the prince, however. He's usually too shy to take part, but there he was, hand in hand with Chara. The two had been bolstering each others confidence, by the looks of it. It was terribly hard not to laugh though. Asriel had been forward thinking enough to let Toriel make his ladybug costume by the looks of it, but Chara had evidently tried to be independent with theirs. The cardboard horns on their Boss Monster costume were already tattered and drooping and the purple robes were clearly an old bathtowel. There was a wavering confidence on their face as they held the bag up, however, and I refrained from commenting.

6th December.

Construction of the Core has been halted for the holiday season, so me and the boys are packing in advance for Snowdin. We're going to have another crack at camping (note to self, sturdier footwear) so I'll be leaving the diary behind to prevent more damage.

17th December

Papyrus slipped on an icy path and gave himself concussion, so we're home early. I don't think camping is really for us, next year we'll book a room in the Inn as usual...

10th January

Urgent summons to the Palace today. I assumed it was another sprained ankle, like the time Chara and Asriel were horsing around on the stairs, but when I opened the door Toriel greeted me in hysterics. Asgore was groaning in agony on his bed, clutching at his stomach. His magic was running haywire, trying to fix whatever was broken in him. It was a tricky piece of healing magic to stabilize it. Afterwards, I poked around the house as Toriel tended to her exhausted husband, trying to find the source. A strange smelling pie and a careful questioning of two very quiet children revealed the cause. It seems they had been trying to make butterscotch cinnamon pie like their mother, and misread the instructions, using buttercups instead of butter. A lovely flower, buttercups, but very very poisonous for monsters and humans alike. Asriel was a mess of tears, but Chara simply laughed, stating confidently that they knew Asgore would be alright anyway. An odd reaction, until I noticed the glimmer of terror in their eyes. It seems they use laughter as a coping mechanism to distract from things they find frightening. The poor thing must have thought they were going to be brutally punished for this. It was an innocent and childish mistake. There will be no punishment for it.

19th January

Tomorrow the Core will be officially opened. We've tested and retested, Alphys has personally checked every computer system in the complex 3 times. Everyone is exhausted, we've been going flat out lately trying to finish this. Even Sans has been putting in long hours, notoriously work shy as he is. (with one hit point, who can blame him?) I'm very proud of the effort my children have put in, but so jittery as well. I've got my entire career riding on the success of this...

20th January

Hurrah!

Gods my hands are still shaking, I've spent the whole day a bundle of nerves. I was twitching all through the opening ceremony as Asgore was led to the switch that would start it up and carefully pulled it to the on position...

And it turned on beautifully. Not even a hiccup, which is a bloody miracle. This thing is extremely temperamental at the best of times. Gods I thought I was going to faint for a while there. I barely registered Asgore shaking my hand. He's still walking slowly and carefully after the pie incident. Toriel tells me his stomach is still very tender. The children looked better though. Especially Chara. They looked a lot more relaxed now, more like a happy child should. I hope they remember this day. It's very rare a child has a ring side seat to the making of history.

I've found a quiet corner to update my diary as the after party goes on. I enjoy company, but it wears on me after a while. I can hear Sans rattling off more puns from here, the lads in his element. I don't have words to express how proud I am of my children. They've come so far since the day they came to me.

4th April

Asgore and Toriel had business today and asked me to babysit the children. Not a difficult task, the two are quite well behaved when they want to be. The pair were quite content to doodle with crayons on the floor of the lab. Asriel kept rabbiting on about his "OC", something about a god of hyperdeath and how "cool and badass etc" he was. Chara just drew golden flowers. I recognize them from the shape of the petals. Mt Ebott daisies. Very rare, they only grow on the area surrounding Mt Ebott. I wonder if Chara is slightly homesick?

2nd February

A small white dog ran off with my diary about a year ago after Papyrus left the door open. Asgore found it buried in his garden and was kind enough to return it to me. Its a little dirty and chewed on, but its still savable.

14th February

Came across Chara in waterfall today. Asriel wasn't there, which was somewhat unusual. The two are usually joined at the hip, but it seemed Chara wanted to be alone today, loitering on the edge of a group of monster children as Gerson told them of our history. Today he told the story of the great war, how monsters lost the battle and were forced underground. He's a masterful storyteller. It was as though I was there again, the cold in my bones, the ache in my starved body...

I was forced from my unpleasant introspection when Chara suddenly spoke up.

And they weren't happy.

I have never seen a child so angry at injustice before, as they howled their rage at humanity for locking us away. "it isn't fair!" was thrown around quite liberally. They vomited fury and hatred at the human race, face red and fists clenched as they screamed. In the end I had to step in before they upset the other children, gently leading the steaming mad child back home and trying my best to soothe them. We had a good long talk on the way to the palace about the importance of not letting anger devour you. It's natural to feel rage as a part of grief and sadness, but, and this is important, you have to learn when to let it go. Let the fury be a tidal wave and crash over you. And then let it sweep on and pass.

I don't know if my talk helped. They were silent as I explained their little outburst to their parents. Somehow, I don't think Toriels promise of extra pie is going to help this. I found some books on child psychology in the dump. A little outdated, but I wonder if I can work out some helpful therapy for them? God knows they need it, who knows how long they've carried that hate in them? They always seemed so happy here...

17th February

Went to the palace today to discuss my plan for Chara with the king. I was very pleased to see Chara was in a better mood, whispering in Asriels ears on a bed of buttercups as the King weeded his roses. They stopped as I entered and looked innocent. Ah, childhood. I wonder what pretend shenanigans they were up to that they felt the need to hide from adults? Maybe the location of a secret comic book stash or something, whatever children these days like.

The king liked my idea very much. Naturally, he knows more of his adopted child then I do, and Chara's deep seated anger is no secret to him. It's important we can find ways to help this child. They are the future of humans and monsters, the foundation of our hopes and dreams. We must care for them as best we can. I will start writing up plans for Charas therapy tonight. After all, as a doctor I have a duty to ensure my patients well being, mind as well as body.

22nd January

Called to the Palace tonight. Chara had a gut ache, whimpering gently as I examined them. Looks like the silly little thing ate too much pie. I gave them a tonic and left it at that, they'll be find in the morning.

23rd January.

Hmm. Troubling. Chara was still sick the next morning. My tonic hadn't helped at all. Perhaps Chara has developed food allergies? Apparently humans can do that. Or is it food poisoning? No, monster food doesn't spoil.

I've given them some painkillers for now while I try and see what may be done.

24th January

Chara is worse. They've begun to develop blisters over their hands and mouth, screaming if they're so much as moved. The cheerful confidence of the royal couple that Chara would bounce back is beginning to wane as the child shrinks into their pillow. Asriel is a devoted caretaker to his sibling. The boy is never far from their side, bringing them anything they ask for. Such a good brother...

26th January

I've moved into the palace for the duration, leaving Sans to run the household. Chara can't be far away from a doctor right now.

Chara...gods...

They just keep declining...They can't keep food down, can't be touched without pain, they just...bleed...from everywhere...

I'm going mad sifting through my textbooks for a match in their symptoms. I'm throwing everything I have at them, every cure, herbal or modern I can think of. Nothing is working, why are human bodies so complicated?

27th January

They're raving, lost in a fever dream as their exhausted parents try and keep them cool. They started babbling about flowers, pleading to see the flowers in their village one last time.

But there is nothing we can do.

Please don't die, Chara. You are our future...

28th January

Went into New Home Market for supplies today. Gods, the whole city is silent as the grave, the royal childs health the only topic on anyones lips as monsters all over the underground gossip in hushed tones. I can feel the weight of their expectations pressing down on me.

I feel sick.

Nothing is working.

29th January

Toriels eyes are so dull. Asgore is drifting around the palace like a ghost.

What do I do?

30th January

I failed them I failed themIfailedthemI FAILED I FAILED I LOST THEM I FAILED

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I'm so sorry...