A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! I know that it seems like I'm just showing you the tragedies and heartbreak and keeping the romance and happiness to a minimum. And to be honest, I am. They're all going to have to deal with a lot of unfortunate situations before any of them will be able to find their happy ending. That's why I inevitably changed this story's title to Goodbyes on the Balcony. I know you are all itching to get a glimpse of Riley but I'm going to tell you know, you will have to be patient for at least another ten chapters or so. When she comes back, she'll be a huge part of the story. But for now, I'm focusing on the other characters and everything that's going on around them. And when we all least expect it, that's when Riley will enter the picture. For now, I just hope you enjoy the characters that are present because I love them all!

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. However, I have decided to go back and read the HP series and have fallen in love with her all over agian. But loving her doesn't mean I created any of these characters...

Goodbyes on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 12: Of Dumbledore, Hairdos, & Sage

++JAMES++

I ignored the pounding in my head as I slipped into the hospital room beside me. I froze in the doorway as I glanced over at the girl I was head-over-heels in love with. She looked so helpless and lifeless. It broke my heart. I felt my bottom lip tremble and I had to blink away the onset of tears prickling my eyes. She didn't deserve to be here. For what? For finding me in the training facilities to let me know I could visit St. Mungo's? Needless to say, this wasn't the way I wanted us to be visiting St. Mungo's.

I slowly made my way over to her bedside, my heart beating a mile a minute. I know that Galvin said she should wake up, and I was trying my damndest to be hopeful, but panic and fear filled my mind. Why was Bellatrix so determined to kill Lily? Why did she push me away? Why did she yell at Rodolphus to leave me alone? What was her angle? I couldn't figure it out. And that was what scared me. Because I had a pretty good feeling that they weren't done going after Lily. But I sure as hell wasn't going to let them go after her.

Problem was, I had no idea how to protect her.

"James?"

I turned around, shocked to hear Dumbledore's voice. "Albus," I greeted. "What are you doing here?"

He ignored the question, nodding towards Lily. "How is she?"

I frowned. "Well, she's unconscious and the Healers don't know when she'll wake up. So I'm thinking not so well." After the words were out of my mouth, I cringed. I needed to stop using cynical jokes as a defense mechanism.

He didn't bat an eye at my brutal honesty. "And you? How are you?"

I shrugged, running my hands over the bandage on the back of my head. I had a feeling he wasn't asking about my cuts and bruises. "We were ambushed today and my girlfriend still hasn't woken up," I said, my voice cracking as I sank into the chair beside her bed. "So as you can probably imagine, I'm not doing so hot."

"She's a fighter, James. She'll pull through. And Galvin Fado seems to think she will also."

If only I could be as confident. "I hope so," I murmured, as my eyes migrated towards her delicate self, desperation coursing through my veins. I knew that it wasn't my fault Lily was lying in that bed, but I couldn't help but blame myself. She was in those training facilities because it was my sister that had gotten attacked. Why was Voldemort so determined to destroy the lives of those I loved?

Little did I know, Dumbledore had the answer.

"They didn't want me, Albus," I murmured, reaching for Lily's hand instinctively. "They kept telling me to get out of the way and I wouldn't get hurt. They…they said they needed to keep me alive or something. That it was Lily they were after. I just don't know why."

Silence followed before I heard Dumbledore shuffle over my way. "James," he said softly.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Yeah?"

"I think it's time you I told you the truth."

My heart skipped a beat. This didn't sound promising. "About?"

Dumbledore placed his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. Which just made me cringe. Because the only time he placed his hand on my shoulder, rueful words often followed. "It's you they've set their sights on."

I froze. "What?"

He let out a deep, regretful sigh. "Voldemort is hoping to isolate you by eliminating those around you. Your friends, your family, your loved ones. He's going after everyone in your life to get to you."

I was more confused than ever. "What are you talking about? Why does he want to get to me? Why…why would he want to isolate me?"

He hesitated. "You've been receiving letters from a Tom since Hogwarts, am I right?"

My heart skipped a beat. I wasn't surprised that he knew that. He always seemed to know everything. "Yeah," I murmured. "Asking me to join the Dark Side. As if that will happen."

Dumbledore lifted his hand off my shoulder and came around to face me, a grim frown on his face. "It's my belief that Voldemort is convinced if he can just execute all of the people around you, you'll have nothing to live for. You'll have no reason to fight for good anymore. So he's going after everyone around you until you're left completely alone."

Anger coursed through my veins. "Is he really that daft?" I barked. "As if he kills everyone around me, I will go ahead and actually join the one guy who has ordered all of the hits? That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard!"

The frown didn't waver on Dumbledore's face. "I'm assuming he doesn't think it will get that far."

More confusion. "What do you mean?"

His eyes wandered over to Lily. He didn't respond immediately. "I think he's hoping that you'll join the Dark Side before it ever comes to that point."

"What do you mean?"

He turned back to look at me, meeting my gaze. Regret glimmered in his eyes. "He knows you'd do anything to protect those around you," he continued. "He knows you'd want to do whatever it takes to save the people you love."

I felt my heart constrict within my chest as I realized precisely what Dumbledore was saying. "Brite? Jaron? Dezzy and Drew? Lily? Fabian and Alice? All…all because of me?" My voice trembled. "All because Voldemort wants me."

"No," he was quick to argue. "Not just you. All Potters."

I really didn't understand. "What?"

"He's gone after each of you at different times. It just appears to be your turn."

"But he didn't isolate Brite or Jaron. He killed them. And he nearly killed Dezzy."

"Nearly," he reminded me. "But his intention was to just kidnap her. Something he had also done with Jaron."

"Where are you going with this?" I sighed, more confused than ever.

"You're not the only one receiving those letters from Tom requesting your presence in his army."

I'm pretty sure my heart froze. "He's…he's been in contact with my brothers and sister?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes."

So we were all pretty much going to die by the hands of Voldemort. That's a comforting thought. "Why go after Lily and not me directly like he did with the rest of my family?"

He didn't reply immediately, frowning uncertainly. "I think he realized that going after your family directly wasn't working in his favor so he's taking a different approach with you."

"Lucky for me," I whispered, my bottom lip trembling uncontrollably. Anger and frustration and panic and pain and angst filled every inch of my body as my thoughts reflected on Brite and then Jaron, next Dezzy and Drew, and finally they rested on the beautiful redhead lying in the bed to my side. "I wish he would just go after me. I could handle dying to save the ones I love. I can't handle him going after everyone else, Albus. I just can't."

He frowned, guilt resting in his eyes. "You're a good person, James. I'm sorry that this is all happening to you."

I felt another prickle of tears in my eyes and I hastily swiped them away as my eyes were drawn to Lily, who looked so helpless and vulnerable. "He won't stop until she's dead, will he?"

Dumbledore didn't respond. But I already knew the answer.

All this time I've been blaming myself for the deaths that have been occurring and as it turns out, I had every right to blame myself. I don't know why Voldemort wanted me or my family in particular, but I had a feeling the next few years would be short-lived for all of us. For Dezzy, for my mother, for Grant. For Frank and Alice, for Sirius and Remus and Peter, for Kay. For Drew, for Lance, even Keegan and Lafevre. And especially for Lily. For all the people I interacted with. For the people I saw every day. For the people I loved and cared about. Who was going to suffer next?

"Maybe I would be better off joining Voldemort. Maybe that would put everyone else out of danger."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Dumbledore shook his head immediately. "What have you been fighting for these past three years, James?"

I didn't answer. We both knew the answer was justice.

"Don't give in," he said eagerly, shaking his head. "That's what he wants. And the moment we start giving in to what Voldemort wants is the day the wizarding world is doomed for eternity."

"It already is doomed," I muttered.

He placed his hand on my shoulder, a soft look in his eyes. "You keep fighting for what you believe in, James. Let me handle Voldemort."

Something in his words told me he knew more than he was telling me, but I really didn't want to hear it. I had already heard enough for one day. Finding out that you're the cause of so much suffering often put a damper on one's mood.

"Stay positive, James," Dumbledore pleaded, letting his hand linger momentarily on my shoulder before dropping it to his side. "It's the only way you'll be able to move forward."

But what if Lily doesn't get that same chance? I wanted to say it aloud, but I held my tongue. I honestly just wanted Dumbledore to leave so I could really digest his words. Without his scrutinizing look and sympathetic smile.

He nodded a simple good-bye and headed towards the door.

"Why me?" my voice cracked.

He hesitated, turning around slowly.

"Why is Voldemort after me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

Dumbledore frowned. "I don't know," he said hesitantly. It was the first time I ever believed he was lying to me. "But you're one hell of a wizard. And an Auror. You're getting stronger and more determined every day. And he wants that strength and determination on his side."

I hesitated before saying, "Well, he's not going to get it." And I meant it. I think.

A slow smile crept onto Dumbledore's face. "Good," he said. "Just like Miss Evans, you're one hell of a fighter. We need you on our side."

I merely nodded. I had nothing left to say. Because truth was, I was going to try my damndest to fight against the bastard who was determined to ruin my life. But I wondered if it was going to be enough.

Dumbledore left and I'm sure he said a few last-minute words, but I barely acknowledged them. I could only focus on Lily.

I climbed off the chair and perched on the edge of her bed, reaching for her hand. I held it up to my cheek, trying to desperately ignore the tears that were welling up inside of me. I refused to cry. I refused to give what Voldemort wanted: weakness.

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was better off not waking up. Because the moment she opened her eyes was the moment her life would be thrown into utter turmoil. Voldemort would go after her every chance he got and wouldn't stop until she took her last breath. She would be fighting for her life every day. And who was I to wish that upon anyone?

Yet, the selfish part of me, of my heart, was desperately yearning for her to wake up. She didn't deserve to die so young, so unexpectedly. She didn't deserve to die because of me. I loved her too much for these to be her last moments on earth. I needed her in my life.

"Please wake up," I said helplessly, my voice trembling with fear. "You deserve to live your life to the fullest, Lils. You shouldn't be here right now. I-I should be the one on the brink of death, not you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I could feel myself choke up, the words barely audible on my tongue. "You have to wake up. I need you. I...you're my everything. And if you wake up, I promise I will do whatever I have to do to protect you. To keep you safe. Alive. Whatever it takes, I will do it. That's a promise." I wasn't shocked when I felt a tear slip down my face. While I rarely cried, I couldn't help the tears when it came to the idea that Lily might not wake up.

I heard soft footsteps behind me and I quickly brushed away the single tear, swallowing hard.

"James?" Kay spoke.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly before answering. "Yeah?"

"Visiting hours are coming to a close, and-"

A rush of hot anger boiled inside of me. I whirled around. "I'm not going anywhere, Kay," I scoffed. "She doesn't have anyone else but me and I'll be damned if I'm going to let her be alone for a single second."

"James-"

"I promised her I'd protect her," I said, my voice cracking. I had to swallow the desperation out of my voice. "And I'm not going to break that promise. Not now, not ever."

"I know that, James," Kay said anxiously. "I was just going to say that we're all heading out of here for the night but will be back tomorrow morning. And you're technically still a patient, so-"

"I'm not going back to my own room," I insisted irritably. "I'm staying right here. I won't-"

"Will you let me finish a sentence?" she asked, shooting me a look.

I cringed, remaining silent.

"I was going to say that I told Galvin to put your bed in here overnight."

I hesitated guiltily. "Oh."

She slowly walked over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder very much in the same way that Dumbledore just had. "I never would have told you that you had to leave."

Well, I felt like a jerk. "Oh."

"You're her family," she muttered. "She wouldn't want anyone else but you here."

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. "I just hope it helps."

She didn't respond and I was grateful for it. I didn't need reassurance or comfort or hope. I just needed to be left alone.

"Good night, James," she said softly even though it was nearly two o'clock in the morning. I glanced behind her as my bed was levitated into the room. "Try and get some sleep."

I snorted. Fat chance of that happening. In fact, I doubted if I'd be able to get some sleep ever again. Not knowing that every single person in my life was possibly on the verge of death.

Except, ironically, me.

I didn't bother using the bed that was put in the room for me. I crawled into bed beside Lily, drawing her warm body close to mine. My lips buried into her hair as I lay down next to her, tightening my grip around her shoulders. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was in store for her next. And what I could possibly do to make sure she remained safe.

As I stared down at her, she looked so peaceful and yet vulnerable. I thought of her waking up. I thought of the next couple of days where I would never leave her side. I thought of never letting her out of my sight for the rest of our lives. I thought of Voldemort watching her every move and praying that I could just always be one step ahead of him. I thought of the future. A future I needed to spend with Lily.

As I eventually started to slowly drift off, I felt her stir beside me. I was immediately alert. "Lily?"

She blinked a few times before gazing over at me, a relieved smile slowly creeping on to her face. "James," she whispered, glancing briefly towards the bandage on my head. She reached up and ran her fingers over it lightly. "Are you okay?"

I reached for her hand, and let my lips linger gratefully against her forehead. "I am now."

++LILY++

How could it be that in one moment, everything looked like it might be alright and in the next, we were staring down two known Death Eaters? When I first opened my eyes after what felt like years of blackness, I couldn't remember a time I felt more relieved than when I saw James lying there beside me. My head was throbbing, there were shooting pains going up and down one of my legs, I felt a large bruise on my back, and I could see that my arms were all scratched up. I probably looked like a hot mess. But I didn't care. I didn't care that I was in pain. I didn't care that we probably should have called the Healers to examine me now that I was awake. I didn't care that I had nearly died. I just cared about James.

"You're really okay?" I whispered, running my fingers along his hairline slowly as if I didn't truly believe he was lying there beside me.

He chuckled, pressing his lips against a small cut on my cheek. "I can't believe you're asking me that when you're the one who just woke up from a coma."

My smile wavered. "How long was I out for?"

He glanced over at the clock hanging over the door. "Er...ten hours?"

My heart nearly stopped. "Ten hours?" I croaked out. It wasn't often that someone in a ten-hour coma came out of it.

He nodded. "But you're awake now," he reassured in a whisper. "You're okay. And thank Merlin. I don't know what I would have done if…if…"

"There's no if, James," I whispered, reaching for his hand and kissing the back of it. "I'm fine. Don't go making up possible scenarios in your head. You'll just work yourself up."

He could only nod, the worry still evident in his eyes.

There wasn't much else to say, so I nuzzled up beside him, resting my head comfortingly on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm tighter around my body and drew me close to his side, intertwining his legs with mine. I suddenly never felt closer to him. We were both covered in cuts and bruises, our heads throbbing and our every limb aching in painful memory of what had earlier occurred, but the pain slowly dissipated as we just became thankful that we were both there together. As the night slowly faded away, I couldn't help but whisper, "Remember that weekend getaway you wanted us to take last weekend?"

He glanced at me curiously. "Yeah."

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

First, shocked silence ensued. Quickly followed by a burst of laughter. I couldn't help but join in and suddenly amused tears were filling our eyes as the laughter failed to die down. Eventually, he leaned over and kissed my temple. "That really shouldn't be funny."

I smiled guiltily. "Yeah, I know."

His smile slowly faded as he rested his cheek atop my hair. "I'm sorry that this is what our lives have turned into. Funerals, ambushes, and hospital stays."

"Why are you so sorry? This has nothing to do with you, James," I pointed out, glancing up at him. "This is Voldemort's doing."

He didn't respond but I sensed hesitance. I quickly continued. "We're in the middle of a war. Not only that, we're actively fighting in it. Fighting against Voldemort. We knew this was the risk of joining the Order. But when Voldemort is destroyed for good, it will be worth it."

"Not if we get ourselves killed before then," he blurted out.

I frowned. "Don't go questioning your life now, James. You know that we're doing the right thing."

He didn't respond, turning his gaze away from me. "I just don't want to ever be that close to losing you again," he whispered.

The love was evident in the concern found in his voice. And it nearly broke my heart. "You'll always have me, James," I whispered, resting my head against his shoulder as my eyes began to droop. "Always."

"You promise?"

I smiled reassuringly and nodded. "I promise, James, that I'm not going anywhere."

He didn't respond immediately but when he did, I was surprised to hear anger in his voice. "I'm going to help make sure that comes true, Lils."

I wasn't sure what to say to that so I merely went with my go-to. "I love you, James."

"I love you, too."

++SYDNY++

I don't know what compelled me to go to St. Mungo's, but that's where I found myself on Sunday morning. Alastor and I spent practically all night talking about what had happened. Both with Dezzy and Drew and then what happened later with Fabian, James, Alice, and especially Lily. I couldn't help but blame myself slightly. If I hadn't shown up in Brazil to save Dezzy and Drew, Rodolphus and Bellatrix never would have followed me back to the Ministry.

I was shocked when Regulus Black had shown up on my doorstep. I was more shocked when he told me that Bellatrix and Rodolphus were en route to Brazil to kidnap Dezzy and Drew. I immediately ran out of my flat and apparated to the Brazilian coast in a matter of seconds. And thankfully, I showed up just in the nick of time. I wished I had had more time to do more than just stun Rodolphus and Bellatrix. If I had had the backup to capture them or the ability to seriously injure them, I would have. But Drew was lying unconscious and Dezzy was being double-teamed when I arrived and I only had a few seconds to grab them and apparate to the South American Ministry where we then flooed to St. Mungo's. I only stayed there for a few minutes before apparating back to the British Ministry to clue Moody in on what happened. It was when I ran into Fabian and Alice that I knew somehow our Auror Department had been alerted.

And that's when shit hit the fan.

I shouldn't have been surprised that everyone would suspect me of working for the Dark Side. Why shouldn't they? A known Death Eater sought me out. Me. Of course it sounded suspicious. I just prayed that my cover hadn't been completely blown. I don't know how much James knew but the less he knew the better. I just wondered if Dumbledore had gone to see him yesterday like he told Alastor he would. Alastor was against it, I was too, but Dumbledore knew James better than the both of us. So I wouldn't be surprised if he talked to James anyway.

After some major stealthy attempts at avoiding the Daily Prophet reporters camping out all over the hospital, I found myself pausing in the doorway outside James and Lily's room. She was asleep, but seeing as it was barely seven o'clock in the morning, I wasn't surprised. He sat in the chair by her bed just staring at her. I saw longing in his eyes. But deeper down, I saw fear.

I knocked.

James glanced behind his shoulder and shock registered on his face. "What are you doing here?"

His voice was cold. Hurt, even. "I heard about what happened to you. And Lily and Fabian and Alice. This may shock you, but I actually have feelings, y'know."

"That does shock me."

I sighed. This was clearly a bad idea. "I just came to see that you were alright. You obviously are, so I guess I'll be going."

"Why do you care if I'm alright?"

My fists clenched. "You really think I wouldn't care?" I asked, slightly offended. "Just because we butt heads doesn't mean I wish that that attack really injured you."

"No," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm actually asking why."

I had no idea what he was referring to. "What?"

"Do you care because, dare I believe it, you actually care about me? Or do you care because you're supposed to be protecting me and those around me? And if I died, your assignment would have obviously failed?"

His biting sarcasm was always incredibly annoying. "I'm sorry if that's the way you feel about me, James," I said softly.

"Do you blame me, Lafevre?" he murmured softly. "After working together for three weeks, you suddenly spring on me that you were sent to our department to protect me. So I'm sorry if I'm being a tad discourteous, but what the hell do you expect from me?" He cringed, glancing towards his sleeping girlfriend, probably worried he would wake her from her slumber. He stood up from the chair and walked over to me. "You should just give up now, Lafevre. You're not going to be able to protect me. No one can."

Hm, I had a good feeling that Dumbledore had indeed stopped by the night before. "I thought you were better off not knowing the real reason I was here."

He looked at me. Really looked at me, his eyes narrowing with curiosity and wonder. "Who sent you here?"

"No one. I came here on my own volition."

He shook his head irritably. "No, I don't mean to the hospital. I mean to England. To our Auror Department. Who the hell sent you here?"

I hesitated, wanting so desperately to tell him everything. To start in the beginning, nine years ago. But it was better for him not to know. He deserved to live his life without constantly looking over his shoulder in endless worry. Believe me, I would know. "Don't ask questions," I interrupted, shaking my head desperately. I met his worried gaze and begged, "Please."

His face turned resentful. "I'm tired of the secrets."

"I am, too," I blurted out, regretting it immediately. Showing any sort of weakness was dangerous.

"Then talk to me," he pleaded, desperation seeping from his words.

We locked eyes for a brief moment before I turned away, my gaze falling on a slumbering Lily.

He glared at me before turning his back to me, wandering back to Lily's side. "Fine. I'll see you at work tomorrow," he said dismissively.

"You're going to be in the office tomorrow?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm being released today. So yeah, I'll be in the office tomorrow. Only for a short time if I can help it. But there's a lot that needs to be discussed," he murmured, glancing only briefly at me.

"I know," I agreed. I hesitated. "Why for only a short time?"

A look of, dare I even suggest it, vulnerability sparkled in his eyes. "It looks like Lily and Fabian will be staying for at least another day. The swelling and bruising isn't progressing the way the Healers would like it to be."

I cringed. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"They'll be fine," he said rather hastily. I wondered if he was more just trying to convince himself of that. "Look, if you didn't come here to give me any more information, then I suggest you go."

I sighed, nodding slowly. "Fine," I murmured, slowly turning around. I grabbed the hood of my sweatshirt and threw it over my head.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to avoid the press on my way out."

"Press?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "Reporters from the Daily Prophet are camping out in the lobby area."

"Great," he muttered, shaking his head. Before I could stroll out, he grabbed my arm. "Is Keegan Rouge out there?"

I gazed at him, confused. "Er…no." Everyone knew who Keegan Rouge was. She was the only female Daily Prophet reporter to show her face.

"Hm," he murmured, sighing. "Okay."

Hm was right. I had no idea what that was about, but I didn't question it. "See you tomorrow," I dismissed before heading out the door and down the corridor.

"Lafevre!"

I was about to turn the corner when I heard him call after me. I glanced behind me. "What?"

He frowned and with a brief look back towards Lily, hesitantly started walking towards me.

"What?" I repeated when he was standing right in front of me.

He swallowed hard. "Thank you," he said softly.

I froze. I couldn't have heard him right. "What?"

"Thank you," he repeated more firmly, a shrug quickly following. He offered me a lopsided smile before heading back towards Lily's room.

"For what?" I called out.

He shrugged again, glancing over his shoulder at me. "What else? For saving my sister." He then disappeared.

I found myself smiling. If James was thanking me then perhaps things would be okay for us. I just prayed I could help James. I didn't want him to go through what I inevitably went through nine years ago. He deserved better.

++LILY++

"Stop fussing over me!" I whined, ducking as James attempted to get a better look at the bruise over my eye. "I'll be fine!"

He frowned, glancing back towards Kay and Lance. "Maybe I shouldn't go tonight."

"You're going," I said firmly. "I have Fabian to keep me company."

"Hell yeah!" he said, sitting cross-legged on what had been James' bed. When Galvin told us both that we needed to stay another day so that they can continue to monitor the swelling and the bruising, Fabian insisted on taking over James' bed. Neither one of us dealt with quiet too well so I was more than pleased to have him join me. "We're going to start with a wizarding chess marathon, where naturally I will come out on top, quickly followed by a few rounds of Exploding Snaps, and we'll probably end the night filling out a few of those girly quizzes in Witch Weekly that Kay thought would entertain us."

"Actually, I thought they would entertain Lily," she chimed in, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm a little frightened that you've seemed to take a liking to them more than she has."

"When one is stuck in this lame bed for 48 hours, what do you expect?" he pouted.

"Hey, I'd much rather play wizarding chess and Exploding Snaps for three hours than go to this Auror banquet," Lance muttered. "In fact, I'd even take the girly quizzes."

Kay elbowed him lightly in the ribs. "It's your mother that's being honored, Lance. You could look a little more excited."

"I'm in dress robes. Excitement and dress robes don't mix in my world."

Kay rolled her eyes. "If you could get married in sweatpants, I think you would."

His eyes lit up but before he could respond, Kay slapped her hand over his mouth. "I wouldn't comment if I were you."

He grinned sheepishly, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingertips. "To be fair, no one is going to be looking at me on our wedding day with such a beautiful girl by my side."

Kay's ears turned a light shade of pink while the rest of us pretended to gag. "Good save," Fabian snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Now will you three just get out of here?" I interjected, shaking my head. "You're going to be late."

"Plus, we don't want to watch Kay and Lance get all mushy on us," Fabian added with a playful wink.

"Too late," Lance joked, wrapping his arms around Kay's shoulders from behind and kissing the top of her head.

I pointed to the door. "Out!"

He chuckled and steered Kay towards the door without bothering to respond.

"Maybe I shouldn't go tonight," James said (for what was probably the 8th time at least), gazing at me cautiously. "I'd rather stay here."

"Moody would have your head if you didn't show," Fabian reminded him.

He shrugged. "I can pull the 'I just got attacked and so did my girlfriend' card."

"Damn, I wish that excuse could get me out of tonight," Lance muttered from the doorway.

I shot him a look, only slightly amused. "If you'd like, I can attack you right now. Which would you prefer? Cruciatus Curse or Stupefy?"

He hesitated, offering me a sheepish lopsided smile. "Then again, this banquet can't be too bad."

I chuckled. "That's what I thought," I said, turning back towards James. "James, if you don't go, that is just going to give the Daily Prophet more reason to speculate about us."

He frowned, reminded of the article that had hit the papers the day before. It over-exaggerated the attacks to the point of ludicrous. According to Wesley Grapps (one of the sleaziest Daily Prophet writers), I was still wavering between life and death and James had to give me a kidney to support my health. Alice was apparently in critical condition and Dezzy and Drew had been bombarded by at least fifteen Death Eaters. Oh, yeah, and Fabian wasn't even mentioned.

James made a face. "Let them speculate. I don't care."

"James, you're going," I said firmly. "Lance, grab hold of him and drag him to the Ministry if you have to. I give you permission to use excessive force if necessary."

Lance grinned, slowly walking towards him. "Well, if the lady says so."

"You put your hands on me, I will snap your arm in half," James responded with a teasing grin.

Lance hesitated, creeping back towards the doorway. "Sorry, Lily, you're on your own."

"Gee, what big help you are," I retaliated, rolling my eyes. I reached for James' hand, giving him my best sympathetic, compassionate look. Which I'm pretty damned good at if I say so myself. "James, I appreciate your concern. Your overwhelming concern," I added with a smile. "But I don't need a babysitter. You went to work for three hours today and look at me, I'm still fine! I'm being released tomorrow morning and I doubt they'd release me if they didn't think I was 100% okay."

"Yes, tomorrow morning you'll be 100% okay. But what about tonight? What if-"

"You are paranoid," I interrupted, shaking my head in disbelief. "It was cute this morning. It was cute yesterday. Now I'm annoyed."

"I still think it's cute," Fabian said in all sincerity.

We all glanced over at him, myself cringing inwardly. Here I was complaining about the excess concern while Keegan has been MIA. I tried to lighten the situation a bit. "James, if you want to stay, go right ahead. But Fabian and I will be quizzing ourselves on which hairdo goes best with our facial features in the latest Witch Weekly. Personally, I think you'd have more fun at the banquet."

He hesitated. "I don't know. I was wondering that same question just this morning." The ends of his mouth tugged upward as he jokingly ran his fingers through his hair.

I couldn't help but laugh, gesturing for him to lean over so I could kiss him. "Go. Have fun. And bring me back one of those amazing cannolis they always provide at these events."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Oh, fine," he said, surrendering. He glanced towards Fabian. "You take care of her, y'hear? Make sure she drinks plenty of water and that she eats-"

"I don't need taking care of!" I groaned.

James shot me a look. "Humor me."

I sighed. "You're a pain in my arse, Potter." But there was a smile creeping on my lips.

"Do I have permission to use excessive force if it comes to that?" Fabian joked.

I glared at him. "You want to be wheeled back into your own room?"

He grinned sheepishly, slumping down on the bed. "Then again, you can probably take care of yourself."

"Damn straight," I teased. I glanced back towards my boyfriend. "And now you're officially late. Get out of here before I call security."

He sighed and gave me on last kiss before reluctantly letting go of my hand. "Oh, fine. But try not to get into too much trouble tonight."

I quirked an amused eyebrow. "I'm not the one forced to spend my off time around Sydny." Although James has pretty much refused to tell me what had happened to Dezzy and Drew (I don't think he wanted to worry me), from bits and pieces of ranting, I understood that somehow Sydny had shown up to save the day just in the nick of time. A little too convenient if you ask me. But no one was asking me, so I kept my mouth shut. My guess is that I'm not the only one who thought it was suspicious.

He made a face. "Don't remind me. Seeing as she and I are one of the few showing up alone tonight—thank you for that, by the way—I've been told that I will be sitting at her table. Which means I will be drunk within a half hour."

"Oh, gee, how selfish of me to get attacked right before an Auror banquet," I responded sardonically, flashing him a smile. At least he was joking about it. That was a start.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you planned it," he joked, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes and kissing my forehead.

I rolled my eyes, swatting him away. "Seriously, get out of here."

"Well, I feel unloved," he said huffily, strolling towards the door. "I'll be back tonight. When the banquet ends."

"Not if you're plastered you're not," I said with a grin.

He chuckled and blew me a kiss (which naturally received a round of groans) before whisking out of the room with Lance and Kay. I couldn't help but smile. It was times like these that I remembered why I loved James so much. He had been so attentive these past few days, probably a little bit too much, and his concern was overwhelming. I sometimes wondered if there was something he wasn't telling me about what had happened on Saturday, but I didn't push it. I saw a fearful glint in his eyes and when he thought I wasn't looking, a wistful frown appeared on his face filled with anxiety. Not that this was terribly unusual. It was the same reaction I saw after Jaron had died. The same expression on his face now was on his face when he found out about Brite. He quietly brooded very much in the way he did when his father left. When Riley left. He acted the same way when another Auror had disappeared or had been killed. This near-death experience (okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration) made me realize that worrying about the future, in particular my future with James, was futile. Because who even knows how long that future will be? All that matters is the present. And presently, I'm madly in love with James. And that was enough for me for now.

Granted, it helped that I would be moving in with him tomorrow evening. Even better, I wasn't supposed to be doing too much strenuous activity while I recovered which meant Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lance will be forced to help while I simply directed. For a price of pizza and beer of course.

"I do think it's cute," Fabian said, breaking me from my intricate thoughts.

I glanced over at him. "Hm?"

"That James is so concerned about you," he said with a casual shrug.

I wasn't sure how to respond.

"Keegan can't blame her absence on work," he murmured, shaking his head. "Because about half of the Daily Prophet is camped outside in the lobby area still waiting to catch one of us for an exclusive interview. And yet, she's not one of them."

"She wouldn't use her status as your girlfriend to boost her career," I pointed out. "She wouldn't come in here just to interview you."

"She hasn't come in at all," he snorted, bitterness spewing from his words.

I was slightly hurt by that as well. Not that I expected people to fawn over me nearly as much as James has, but Keegan was my roommate for seven months. And on top of that she's Fabian's girlfriend, and yet she has been nonexistent from St. Mungo's over the past couple of days. The two people who were in St. Mungo's the longest she just so happened to have direct ties to and yet, she couldn't be bothered to show her support or concern. "Fabian, I-"

"I just wish she wasn't so damned secretive," he muttered, clearly not wanting any words of comfort. He looked like he'd much rather seethe. "It's like I barely know her."

"None of us do," I pointed out with a shrug.

"She's been in our lives for seven months," he continued, crinkling his eyebrows pensively. "And I don't know a single thing about her past except that she attended Beauxbatons and before she moved in with you, she was living with some boyfriend. That's it. That's all I know. I don't know why she moved to London. I don't know anything about her family. I don't know why she doesn't seem to have any friends from the past. I don't know where she worked before the Daily Prophet. I don't even know why she wanted to become a journalist. I know nothing. Except that she has a sassy personality, tequila is her shot of choice, and she really likes it when I run my lips up her-"

"I don't need to know that!" I interrupted with a teasing grin.

"Back," he finished with a chuckle. Well, at least he was smiling. "Why, what did you think I was going to say?"

I shot him a look.

Disappointment clouded his eyes again. "Why are relationships so difficult?"

"Because they take work," I said almost immediately, shrugging. "And some people don't want to put in the effort. They're too scared and they lack hope and determination. They…they don't want to deal with the possibility of getting hurt."

"Do you think that's what Keegan is afraid of?" he murmured. "Getting hurt?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I think it's what most people are afraid of."

He hesitated. "Are you?"

I was taken aback by the question. Not because he had asked it, but because I knew I was. Moving in with James was a huge step and although, I was looking forward to spending more time with him, I couldn't help but wonder how things were going to change. "Aren't you?" I deflected.

He frowned, his eyes subconsciously pulling towards the window in a curious manner. He didn't respond and I didn't offer any other words. We both took the silence to ponder our relationships. I don't know what Fabian was thinking, but I recognized the look on his face. It was defeat. I had a good feeling that the moment he got released from St. Mungo's, Keegan would be hearing an earful.

"C'mon, let's play a fun game of wizarding chess," he murmured.

I glanced over at him. "But you always win," I whined, trying to ease the tension with a bit of humor.

"That's why it's fun!"

I sighed. "Oh, fine, but then can I quiz you on the hairdo that best works with your bone structure?"

He chuckled. "Absolutely."

++FABIAN++

I had been at Potter Manor doing what I could to help move Lily in. My back was still sore and I still had bruises all over my body so I almost felt like I was hindering the move than anything. But after what happened over the weekend, I've learned that life is unpredictable. And I was going to spend as much time with my friends and family as possible before life once again hands me another bout of unpredictability.

Not to my surprise, Keegan wasn't at Potter Manor. I knew then she was avoiding me. And that was probably wise because I was irritated. I tried being understanding, but as soon as I got outside Keegan's door, compassion disappeared and anger replaced it. I couldn't help it. She didn't even try to reach out to me when I was in the hospital. What kind of girlfriend did that?

I pounded on the door, a frown etched into my face.

The door flew open and a look of surprise shone on her face. "Fabian!" she said, relieved, as she threw her arms around my neck. I didn't hug her back.

"So, how have your past few days been?" I asked coolly. I didn't let her respond. "Because mine haven't been so hot considering I was in the hospital."

She cringed, and I saw her eyes flutter to the floor eagerly, clearly trying to come up with a good excuse. "Fabian, I-I don't know what to say."

"That's certainly a first."

She hung her head shamefully. "I know," she said softly.

"Why don't you start with the truth?" I pleaded, my voice wavering slightly.

She lifted her gaze to meet mine. "The truth?"

I had to will myself to turn away or I might have been drawn into her vulnerable eyes and just forgiven her on the spot. I slowly sauntered into her flat. "Look, Keegan, I'm not some needy boyfriend who was desperate to have his girlfriend fawn over him while he lay hurt and exhausted on a hospital bed. I didn't need you to be there all day and night. I didn't need you to…to hold my hand. But as I watched the way James stood over Lily these past few days and as I watched Frank rush to the hospital when he heard about Alice and as I watched Dezzy and Drew grow concerned about each other, I couldn't help but wish you at least had some sort of decency to show up and actually care about me."

"Now, that's not fair," she argued. "I do care about you."

"Yeah? You show it so well," I snorted sarcastically.

She fell silent and I knew that my comment was probably a tad harsh. "Keegan," I said softly, my voice shaking with vulnerability. "What's going on?"

She frowned, guilt resting heavily in her eyes. "I just…I-I…I don't…"

"Yeah?" I pleaded.

She hung her head shamefully. "I don't do hospitals, Fabian," she whispered. "I-I tried going in, I swear to you I did. I just…couldn't."

"Why not?" I dared to ask.

She turned her gaze away immediately. "Please don't ask me that."

I frowned. More secrets. It's all I ever felt like I got from her.

"You have to know how sorry I am," she spoke, her voice soft and regretful. I knew she meant it. She wasn't that heartless. I just wish she didn't have anything to apologize for. "I am, Fabian. I really am."

"I know you are," I responded, running my fingers through my hair. "But what if an apology isn't enough, Keegan?"

Her eyes met mine and there was a sort of resolve that made me realize she had been on the end of a conversation very much like this one before. Neither of us spoke. I didn't really know what else to say at this point. She looked so helpless, so insecure. And that was enough to make me realize that the two of us had to end things. Before either one of us got hurt. "Keegan," I said softly, shaking my head slowly. "I have loved being with you. You make everything so…so easy. Our wizarding world is at war right now. People are dying and Voldemort's army is getting stronger. But somehow, you have this way of making me forget that. When I'm with you, it's just about you and me."

"Fabian, I-"

"But it's not about you and me anymore," I continued, swallowing hard. "It's just about you. And whatever it is that you're so determined to hide. I get that your past is yours to do with what you want, but it affects everyone around you. Including me. Especially me. You throw up this wall and I can't seem to break it down."

A flicker of regret passed through her eyes.

"I was falling for you," I admitted in a small voice. "But I think I was falling too fast. You clearly have unresolved issues. Issues that you're not going to solve being with me."

"I don't have anything unresolved," she argued, pursing her lips. "I just don't need everyone digging into my personal business. My past is my past. And I don't feel as if I really should have to explain myself to anyone. Not even you."

"You're getting defensive."

"So?"

I shrugged. "You get defensive when anyone gets too close to speculating about your past."

"Then stop speculating."

I sighed, leaning up against the armrest of her couch. "I wish it were that easy."

She glanced at the still-open door and slowly shut it behind her. "I'm not trying to make anything difficult."

"I know that," I said softly. "But I can't continue doing this to myself."

"Doing what?"

I didn't respond immediately, meeting her strong and concentrated gaze. She acted so guarded and defensive all the time, but I knew there was a lot she was holding back. But until she was willing to stop herself from holding back her emotions, she'd never be able to let anyone in. "Falling in love with you knowing you'll never fall for me back."

She opened her mouth to respond but closed it quickly. I had a feeling I hit the nail on the head. My heart broke slightly in the moment, knowing that she had no argument. It was true. I was falling for her and although there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she liked me and cared about me, it wasn't ever going to be more than that. And I knew I deserved more. Just like she deserved more.

She turned away from my scrutinizing gaze, regret displayed evidently on her face. "This isn't the way I wanted things to turn out," she said, her voice hoarse and guilty.

"I know, but…" I trailed off, swallowing hard. I sighed before admitting, "Unfortunately, I'm not the guy you want to let in."

"That's not true," she said immediately, shaking her head. "I do want to. I just…"

"Don't know how?" I whispered, slowly climbing off the couch and walking over to her.

She hesitated before nodding solemnly. I placed my finger on her chin and lifted her face so her eyes met mine. There was a tear in her eye, threatening to escape. She bit down on her bottom lip and I framed her face with my hand. She melted into my touch and there was a glint of vulnerability in her eyes, an emotion I wasn't used to seeing from her. I instinctively leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, lusting passion rising from within both of us. She kissed me back unlike ever before, the desire between us unmistakable.

I had to compel myself to pull away from her, my eyes not straying from hers as I watched that single tear slowly slide down her cheek. I reached for her hand, brushing her hair out of her face. "You're an amazing girl, Keegan. I hope you know that you deserve someone who's going to make you realize how amazing you are. And when you find that guy, you're going to want to tell him everything."

She blushed, tearing her eyes away from mine. She wiped the tear in her eyes, taking a deep breath in and exhaling slowly. I knew she didn't have anything else to say, at least nothing that would be able to reassure me I was doing the wrong thing. I opened my mouth to say good-bye, but realized that this wouldn't be good-bye. My friends were now her friends and there was no way to avoid that. So instead, I said nothing. I just looked at her. Really looked at her. Seeing the scared, vulnerable girl she really was instead of the strong, confident girl she tried so desperately to be.

I let go of her hand, the first step in letting go of her. "I'll see you around, Keegan."

She didn't respond. She didn't nod or shake her head. She didn't even blink. She just stared back at me.

I turned my back on her, heading towards her front door.

"I'm sorry, Fabian."

My hand froze on the doorknob and I slowly turned around. She offered me a smile and I took that as a good sign.

I nodded at her. "I know."

++KEEGAN++

I wanted to go after him. I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to lose him. I wanted to tell him that I could love him. But I didn't. Because I knew I could never love Fabian. He was right. I had plenty of unresolved emotions flying around in my head and in my heart. And while I would have loved to believe that none of my past affected who I was in the present, that was so obviously a blatant lie. I mean, I couldn't even find the courage and the compassion to show up by Fabian's side at the hospital. I tried. I did. I stood outside for nearly two hours trying to ignore the panic in my chest but as those hours carried on, I just felt like my heart was about two seconds away from exploding.

Fabian deserved someone whose heart belonged solely to him. Mine? It still just belonged in the past.

++LILY++

I was finally all moved in and couldn't be happier. I was still slightly sore from the bruising from that weekend, but it was easier to ignore when unpacking all of my things. And James couldn't have been more supportive. Maybe he was being a little too supportive. Everywhere I went, I'd find him popping up by my side. I could barely use the loo without his permission! I know that this past weekend was tough on him, tough on all of us, but I couldn't help but wonder why he suddenly was acting so overly attentive and overprotective. Not that it wasn't sweet. I just felt like there was a story there.

"What about sage?" I asked, stifling a yawn. We were lying down on the living room couch, too exhausted to even take the extra few steps up the stairs into his bedroom. Our bedroom, I guess I should say.

He hesitated. "What the hell is sage?"

I chuckled. "It's a light green with a grayish tint."

"Then why can't they just call it light green with a grayish tint?"

I smacked him on the shoulder. "We're never going to agree on a color for the living room."

"I like the paint color it is now."

"That's wallpaper."

"Oh."

I smiled, resting my head against his shoulder. "More than that, it's wallpaper that's coming down at the edges."

James made a face. "I have a feeling no matter what I say, you're going to change it anyway."

I grinned. "Don't worry. I won't touch the game room."

He breathed a dramatic sigh of relief. "Oh, then go ahead and change what you want."

I couldn't help but laugh, an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction coursing through my veins. I couldn't be happier that I was finally moving in with James. All of my worries and fears I thought I had were slowly disappearing. "So, Mr. Potter," I said with a stifled yawn, "How shall we celebrate our first night living together?"

"Hm, I hope that's a trick question," he said with a suggestive eyebrow raise, kissing the nape of my neck.

"Really?" I said, making a face. "You're not terribly exhausted from the move?"

He hesitated. "Why, are you?"

"I asked you first."

He laughed, brushing the hair from my face with his lips. "And if I said I was?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'd say oh good, I'm not the only one?"

He smiled, slumping down further on the couch. "How about we celebrate tomorrow night?" he suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," I whispered.

I nuzzled my head into the nook of his neck and shoulder, knowing we'd most likely end up spending half the night on the couch, the idea of walking up the stairs to our bedroom too much to bear.

"I don't think I can move right now," James agreed, as if he were reading my thoughts. "Give me a few hours."

I yawned again, gesturing towards the beer bottle in his hand. "Your beer is empty."

He hesitated. "Okay, maybe I can move briefly just to grab a beer, but then I'm not planning on moving for another few hours."

I chuckled, running my lips up his arm towards his lips. My hands made their way into his hair as I shifted my weight so I was straddling him. He framed my face with his hands as I explored the inside of his mouth, our tongues intertwining.

"What happened to celebrating tomorrow?" he joked as I pressed tiny kisses to his jawline.

I chuckled. "You complaining?"

"Not at all," he teased, running his fingers under the back hem of my T-shirt as he pressed his lips against mine firmly.

We were both interrupted by the doorbell followed by a loud knock on the door. We glanced at each other curiously. All of our friends and family had learned just to barge into the mansion.

James shrugged. "Tomorrow it is," he joked. "I'll grab two more beers and you get the door?"

I nodded, slowly climbing out of his grasp. James disappeared into the kitchen and I headed to the front of the house.

I opened the door and an unknown visitor stood in front of me. I couldn't exactly place it, but there was something familiar about him. "Hi," I greeted. "Can I help you?"

He gazed at me scrupulously, and I knew he was giving me a once-over, probably trying to determine who I was. He didn't know that I was doing the same to him. "Is...is Maya or Jonathan here?" he eventually spoke.

His voice was deep and rough, and his tone was wary. He looked frightened almost and kept glancing over his shoulder as if someone was about to attack him.

"Er...no," I responded, shrugging sheepishly. It's been a long time since someone mentioned Mr. Potter. Whoever this was, he was clearly behind the times. "They…uh, they don't live here anymore."

His face registered shock and there was a sense of panic surrounding him. "This...this isn't Potter Manor anymore?"

I offered him a smile. "No, it still is. But Maya moved out and gave the place to her son."

He responded immediately, his eyes lighting up. "So Brite's here now?"

My heart sank. I couldn't remember the last time I had heard his name mentioned either. How was I supposed to tell someone who I didn't know that Brite Potter was dead? "No, he...um...he..." I trailed off, the words catching in my throat. "I'm sorry, but...who are you?"

Before he could respond, I heard a loud crash behind me. I whirled around to see our two beer bottles lying in pieces on the floor. James' face grew white as he whispered one word.

"Wyatt?"

A/N: Aaaaaand yet another cliffhanger... Oops? Not much to say here except that James and Lily are far too adorable for my own taste! And poor Fabian. And Keegan. More on them later. James gets an answer to one of his million questions so it's a start. More to come on that later as well.