~ ROSE ~

"Hey, are you alive?" The female voice was accompanied by a sharp jab to my ribs.

I opened my eyes to see a pair a high-heeled boots standing beside me. I tried to lift my head but I ended up wincing from the pain that shot down my spine. It was more than simply being stiff from sleeping in an uncomfortable position (I was laying face down on some overgrown grass) but I didn't know where, why, or how I was injured. Pushing through the pain, I followed the pair of legs up to the girls face.

"AH HA! Not dead. Great. That would have really ruined my night." She smirked down at me, and extended a hand as she noticed my struggle to move.

She looked about twenty, dressed in a black polo that seemed a bit too small for her, and a tight pair of jeans. There was a name and logo on the shirt, but I couldn't quite make it out. Her blonde hair was cropped in a shorter pixie cut, her bangs almost hiding her light green eyes, and she had the long and lean body of a dancer. Her appearance was somehow comforting, even if I had no idea who she was.

"No," I replied, my throat seeming a bit scratchy, though I didn't know why. "Not dead yet, but I certainly feel like I'm half way there."

Her eyes widened as she took me in. "Yeah, you look even worse. No offense."

"None taken." I didn't doubt her, considering the pain I was in, but I glanced down at my body anyways. My clothing was scattered with blood, more than the visible scratches on my arms and legs could account for. I didn't know how any of it got there.

Confusion must have been evident on my face because suddenly the sarcastic tone of the girl's voice disappeared and was replaced by genuine concern. "Are you okay? Were you in a fight or something? Did someone attack you?"

My mind was blank. The events of the past day were gone. "I...I don't know."

As I tried to remember, I realized that it wasn't just the past day that was a mystery to me. I couldn't remember anything. Not the past day, not the past hour, not the past decade. It was startling and I automatically looked for clues around me. In the darkness, I could only make out a few things. I seemed to be in some sort of park, one that was surrounded by the taller buildings of a city. I didn't know which city, but it was better than nothing. I looked back at the girl, who only seemed more confused and concerned than before.

"Crap. Maybe I should get you to the hospital. My car's not far. Do you think you can make it?"

I nodded, but the action made my head pound a little more.

As she helped steady my walking, she introduced herself. "I'm Marie, by the way."

I smiled, opening my mouth in an automatic response. "I'm..." my words fell short and I furrowed my brows in concentration. Dang. This should be easy.

What's my name? I wondered. Something...floral. Daisy? No. Lily? No. I quickly ran through a list of every female botanical name I could think of. Jasmine, Iris, Heather, Holly, Violet, Rosemary...wait. That felt close. Not quite there, but close. Rose maybe?

I glanced up at Marie and saw her face becoming hesitantly suspicious with each passing moment of silence. Without thinking anymore, I blurted out the first name that came to mind.

"Ivy. My name is Ivy."

Marie seemed to visibly relax. "Well, okay then Ivy. Let's get you to a doctor to get you checked out. Not gonna lie, you are kinda freaking me out a little."

I laughed, mostly trying to break the tension within myself. There was nothing else to do, I could either laugh or cry and crying would probably only freak Marie out more. Since she was quite literally the only person in the world that I had at the moment, I couldn't afford to scare her off.

We arrived at the hospital moments later. Marie was kind enough to stay with me for the time being, though I wouldn't expect her to stick around much longer. The check-in paperwork was practically taunting me with questions that I didn't know the answer to. I had no idea what my age was, nor my last name. Heck, I didn't really even know my first name, much less my full medical history. After filling out the few descriptive questions that I could easily ascertain (sex: female, hair color: brown, eyes: brown) I returned to the receptionist who was way too perky for 4 a.m.

"Got that all filled out, Sweetheart?" he chirped.

"Um, not all the way. What do you do if you don't know or can't remember some of the answers?" I tried to be nonchalant about the matter, but I don't know how possible that really was.

"Oh, don't worry, as long as we have the basics, we should be alright."

"Um...then there might be a small issue."

His brows knit together in confusion as I handed over the clipboard of paperwork. As he scanned the nearly blank first page, his eye grew wide in surprise.

"Oh," he stumbled, "Well...let me go find someone about this."

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he stood and walked to the back room. I was almost back at my seat when I heard a voice ring out into the ER waiting room: "Ivy?"

I snapped my head to attention, recognizing the only shred of identity I really had at the moment. Before answering, I glanced at the receptionist again, who only nodded his encouragement. I made my way to the doctor with Marie following close behind.

After a long series of questions that more often than not could be answered with "I don't know" or "I can't remember," the doctor finally seemed satiated, if not quite satisfied. Marie tried to offer as much help as she could, but it was little more than I was able to give. After being told that I would need to undergo quite a few tests and procedures and would defiantly be staying the night, Marie left me her phone number and asked that I call her tomorrow with an update.

The doctor wasn't lying about the numerous tests that they had lined up for me. Some were fairly simple, like a visual examination of my bumps and bruises. Others were more worrisome such as the gynecological exam for traces of sexual assault (thank goodness that one came back negative) and a CAT scan. After several hours and not many answers, they were able to determine that I didn't have a concussion and could sleep. They even gave me a bit of food which triggered a hunger that I didn't even know existed. It felt like I hadn't eaten in days. Once my hunger was taken care of, I quickly fell asleep.

I was in a house, hands bound behind me. I could smell the stale scent of blood alongside burning flesh. The room was dark enough that my eyes were having difficulty adjusting. I seemed to be alone, though there were several other empty chairs in the room.

I had no clue where I was, but I could feel the terror and dread weighing down on me. When the door across from me finally opened, I saw a man walk in. Physically, he was tall, thin, and only looked to be in his mid 40's, however he gave off this sense of being much older. The confidence in his walk said that he had seen decades, perhaps centuries, and wasn't afraid. That alone made me more uneasy. But it wasn't the only odd trait about him. His skin seemed almost white, standing out even in the darkened room. I had never seen someone so pale, and if he didn't have so much power radiating off him, I might think he was deathly ill.

As he stepped closer to me, I pressed myself as far as I could against the back of the chair. I was struggling at my bindings but had no way of freeing myself. He was only a few feet away when I noticed his eyes. They were dark brown, nearly black, but around the edge of the iris there was a blood red ring. It was faint, but once you saw it there, it was impossible to ignore. It wasn't natural and just the sight of it made my heart race fast.

When he was right in front of me, he bent forward. I still struggled to put as much distance as possible between us, but it was no use. Even though he had no weapons on him, I knew I was as good as dead. He studied my face, brushing my hair aside and tracing my jaw line. It was almost like my fear amused him. After toying with me, he stared me straight in the eye and I was unable to look away. He gave me a smile that made my stomach lurch and I barely had a moment to register his fangs before he brought his face to my neck and bit down.

I awoke in the hospital, screaming. Several nurses ran in and I blindly swatted them away before I recognized my surroundings. They kept their distance, but still stood by for a moment to be sure I was okay. After I finally calmed down, I apologized as much as they would allow me to and they left so that I could get some more rest.

As I rested my head against the pillow once more, I shook my head in disbelief. "Great," I whispered to no one in particular. "Now I'm having nightmares of vampires."

– DIMITRI –

Three days we searched. Perhaps I should be grateful that they had allowed the quest to go on for even that long. All the Moroi had been accounted for, there were no leads to follow if she was alive, and we had the unfortunate task of preparing a memorial service for a murdered student. Perhaps Mason's death was the reason they had extended the search. Announcing one death was bad enough, announcing that a student was also missing and possibly – most likely – dead would only make things worse.

The first day, several teams of Guardians hand canvased the area, moving outward from the home where they students had been held. Mia said that she had been alive and relatively unharmed when she saw her last but any other information she had was of little use to the search. For my own sanity, I had to believe she was alive, but I couldn't understand why she hadn't contacted anyone.

The next day, Alberta and I checked in with several of the hospitals in the area. The first couple had been a complete bust, but I still had hope for the final one. We walked into the crowded Emergency Room and approached the too happy receptionist.

He started his basic dialogue before we even reached the desk. "Please fill out these forms a-"

"We're looking for someone," I cut him off sharply. "She might have been admitted this past evening. Her name is Rose Hathaway."

He turned to his computer and silently looked through some files before turning back towards us. "I'm sorry, nobody by that name as come in today." He continued, answering my second question before I had the chance to open my mouth. "We don't have a Jane Doe either."

Rose's wallet had been found among the possessions taken from the students when they had been captured. She didn't have any cash or identification on her. If Rose had been found unconscious, then she wouldn't be admitted under her name. Unfortunately, the only Jane Doe that had been recovered tonight at another hospital was a 6'2 woman with pitch black hair who was at least thirty years old.

My heart sank as my last hope for tonight was snuffed out. Guardian Petrov left her phone number with a request to contact her if she turned up. It was the same routine we had followed at every other hospital. I started walking back outside in a daze, accidentally bumping into a young blonde girl as I did so. I quickly apologized before making my way back to the SUV, waiting for Alberta to join me.

There were more places to look of course. We had already filed a missing person's report at the local police station, but due to her age, it was easy to see that they were already passing her off as a run-away. We couldn't exactly tell them that she had been held captive for several days before going missing, at least not without answering several difficult questions.

More guardians were posted at the local bus station hubs and other places where she might be spotted, including a couple youth and homeless shelters, but we had yet to hear anything back from them.

The only place we had yet to check was the one place I desperately hoped we wouldn't find her. They were sending Guardian Stan Alto and another guardian who was familiar with her to the City Morgue. They haven't checked in yet, but I wasn't looking forward to it. It was a strange combination of relief and torture as we waited for their report.

As we returned to the small hotel where the Guardians participating in the search were staying, I could hear the dull roar of hushed whispers growing. Janine still seemed in shock, and I hated to be the one to dash her hopes again. Thankfully, she ignored me completely as Alberta told her the news and gently comforted her.

One of the guardians spoke a little too loudly, and I could over hear him wondering if we would eventually treat Rose as we would any other guardian who had gone missing in action. I winced at the thought. When a guardian went missing during a raid or fight, and there was no body to be recovered, they were listed as dead. More often than not though, it was an incorrect label. When a body wasn't found, it was usually because they had been turned. The thought of Rose as a Strigoi was more than I could handle at the moment. I kept clinging to the fact that Mia had witnessed her after killing the two known Strigoi in the house, but if there was another that they were unaware of... no. I couldn't think that way. I had to stay strong. I had to stay focused. I had to keep hopeful.

I retired to one of the several rooms we were using during the search and tried to get some sleep, though it did little to refresh me. I tossed and turned all night, plagued with the thought of where she was. Was she freezing to death as I lay here? It was winter after all. Was she hungry? Was she lonely or scared? Was she thinking of me? She had to know that I would look for her. She was probably waiting for me right now.

After a few hours, I got up and started looking again. I was even more tired than I had been last night, but I couldn't sit still any longer. Unfortunately, the second and third day ended up being just as successful as the first. No sightings, no leads, no additional information. The only good news is that she never made an appearance at the morgue.

Finally, on the third evening, Guardian Petrov gathered the group and told them that the search was being called off. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry, but it was hard to hold back my own emotions as we heard Janine Hathaway's desperate pleas echoing out between the sobs. Calling off the search was as good as labeling Rose dead. While the school would probably list her as missing until a body was recovered, the chance that we would eventually find her alive and well just became so small, it wasn't worth the pain of hoping.

We flew directly from Spokane to the Academy. The few non-school guardians that had volunteered for the search would return to their positions from there, and Janine would be staying a few extra days to fill out some paperwork and gather Rose's belongings. I couldn't imagine going back to active duty so soon after something like this, but I guess I could see how some semblance of normalcy could help. I felt bad for her though. I know she and Rose hadn't been close, but Janine had just started to reach out to her daughter when she was ripped away.

As the Spokane City skyline slowly disappeared, I tried to say my goodbye to Roza. I couldn't though. I couldn't completely resign myself to the fact that she was gone.

The first day back on campus was a nightmare for me. Part of me was desperate to fall into old habits to keep me from thinking too much, but it didn't take long for me to realize that my life at the Academy had been practically centered on Rose. Our trainings took up a large part of the day, and time seemed to drag on without them. Guarding Lissa wasn't much of a relief since she was mourning Rose as well. I wanted to beg for more guard shifts, but even if Alberta would allow it right now, they would have mixed results. I had already felt how depressing it was to watch one of the senior novices' lessons with two empty seats, and a perimeter shift checking the wards would only lead to far too much time alone with my thoughts.

With my unwanted free time, I opted to walk aimlessly though campus. For a while, the general presence of other people was comforting, even if I wasn't interacting with them. I did notice a few stares and badly hidden whispering. I didn't know exactly what they were saying, and honestly I wasn't sure it really mattered, but after a while it became annoying and decided to take a short break from humanity. I made my way towards a small pond on the far end of campus. It wasn't near the academic building or student housing, so I didn't expect to find anyone there. I really didn't expect to find him there.

I didn't recognize him at first. He was sitting on one of the stone benches surrounding the pond. In the middle of winter, there wasn't much for him to admire besides snow and ice, but perhaps it offered him some form of serenity. As I got closer, it became clear that he wasn't here for the view. His eyes were closed. Thankfully, he was breathing. I wouldn't have been surprised to learn that he had been drinking too much earlier, fell asleep, and succumbed to hypothermia.

"Lord Ivashkov" I called, slightly harsher than necessary.

He jumped at the sudden noise, turning quickly to face me. "You are going to give someone a heart attack!"

Part of me wanted to smirk at his reaction because I vaguely enjoyed shocking the spoiled brat, but his reaction was so close to the ones that Rose had given in similar occasions that my mood was short lived.

"You aren't a student here. What brings you to campus?"

The way he looked at me said that the answer should have been obvious. I just continued staring. I didn't have time to play his games. After a moment or so, he rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm here for Rose. Well, I'm partially here for Rose. I'm working with Lissa on spirit in hopes that we can find her."

I just nodded. My experience with Spirit magic was fairly limited to Rose's bond with Vasilisa. I knew that being able to sense thoughts and location only went one way, and unfortunately it wasn't the way we desperately needed right now.

However, Adrian had helped us find the location of Rose and the others in Spokane by speaking to her in one of her dreams. Perhaps he could do that again. The question is why hadn't he yet. I was almost afraid to ask.

"Have you reached her?"

He shook his head, not looking at me.

"What does that mean?" I was surprised that the desperation I felt didn't sound in my voice.

"Honestly," he met my eyes for the first time, and I noticed the dark circles underneath, "I have no idea."

"Have you been drinking?" I didn't mean to make it sounds so accusing, but my nerves were fried at this point and it came out extremely harsh.

He shot up from the bench and strode towards me at a pace I haven't seen a Moroi move at before.

"Listen here, Cradle Robber. I haven't had a single drop since the moment she disappeared from the lodge. I've been trying day and night to reach her without luck. I don't know what it means, but I'm going to keep trying until I die or go mad."

The anger that flared was twinged the aforementioned Spirit madness. I noticed that he forgot an option though...

"What if she's already dead?"

He shook his head, coming back to reality from wherever his mind was for a moment. "No. I don't think so. I can...feel her." He tugged at his hair, as if the pain would help him focus. "If she was dead, then I wouldn't be able to sense her at all. I can still feel her aura, but she's somehow unreachable. It's almost like she's there but not there at the same time. I don't know how to explain it."

"A coma, maybe?" That would mean she's hurt, but alive. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"Perhaps" he replied. "I don't know much about that extent of unconsciousness."

An awkwardly heavy silence fell over both of us. I didn't like Adrian, and I knew he wasn't fond of me either. However, in this moment, we had something in common: we both cared for Rose. As much as he accused me of being a cradle robber and I accused him of being a playboy, I knew that both of us would do almost anything to know where she was. We competed for her affection, but in this moment I knew that either of us would step aside for the other if it meant that Rose would safe and sound.

The day of the funeral came. As expected, it was a solemn and sad event. The death of a child was always horrific, and this was no different. The chapel was filled in a way that you never see on the Sabbath, echoing with the sounds of mourning.

I was technically on duty so I stood in the back watching the scene unfold around me. Mason's parents, a dhampir mother and non-royal Moroi father who had raised him in a loving home, sat near the front. His father barely held back the tears as he thanked those who offered their sympathies. His mother allowed the tears to flow freely down her cheeks but otherwise seemed to be in a state of shock. Her eyes were hollow, as if she was a million miles away. I understood the feeling. My chest felt empty as well. While I was physically here, my mind seemed to live in memories of the past as if it was clinging to whatever happiness it could find. I was certain that she was doing the same. It was all we could do to get through the day.

Princess Vasilisa and Christian sat together. She was tucked protectively under his arm. I knew they were here to mourn Mason and say their final goodbye, but there were a few of us who were mourning another. Perhaps I should be grateful that this wasn't a double funeral, but the lack of closure when it came to Rose was eating me alive.

Eddie sat on the other side of Lissa, head bowed. You could almost see the guilt on his shoulders like a physical weight, one that he was struggling to carry. Mia was there also. Her entire demeanor had changed the past few weeks. It started with her mother's murder, but being held captive had solidified it. I could see a new determination in her to be strong, to protect herself and others. While it was nice to see a positive change from the insecure 'mean girl' she was before, the way it was earned made the change bittersweet. Adrian looked close to being sick. He was paler than normal with dark rings under his eyes. True to his word, he still had yet to take a drink, but his mental stability was suffering greatly for it. Reflexively, he reached for his flask usually hidden in the pocket of his jacket only to come up empty.

Several guardians, including myself, lined the wall, giving the illusion of security that was still so desperately needed after the tragedy. Truthfully, the guardians on duty were almost as distracted as those who were attending on our own time. Part of it was due to the sheer catastrophe that brought us together. However, I think a good portion of it was seeing several strong guardians near their breaking point. Alberta Petrov, captain of the school guard, was going between hiding her own tears and comforting others. She wasn't the most disturbing. No, the most distressing sight was seeing Janine Hathaway, known for her unemotional professionalism, breaking into quiet sobs in the corner. It took me a while to place the dark haired, ostentatiously dressed man behind her. I hadn't seen Abe Mazur, known back home as Zmey, since I was a teenager. He was a fairly dangerous man, known for his efficiency in taking care of people standing in his way. I didn't know what to make of his awkward comforting gestures towards Janine, nor his own apparent sorrow. It piqued my curiosity momentarily, but that faded quickly. I barely had the motivation to do the daily things such as eating, I didn't have the mental energy to wonder why the Zmey was interested in a student's funeral.

Before I knew it, the funeral was ending. I couldn't remember a word of it. I paid my last respects to Mason before returning to my small apartment. Like everything else nowadays, it seemed cold and empty. I never was one for excessive decoration, but now even the small personalizations, such as my book collection, didn't bring any joy or comfort. In fact, there was only one thing that brought me comfort recently.

I sat on my bed and leaned back against the wall while reaching under my pillow, feeling for the wooden frame hidden there. Eyes closed, I pressed the picture against my chest. I had memorized this photo and I could bring it to mind anytime, but holding it was the closest thing I could get to holding Rose. After a moment, I opened my eyes. Shamefully, I had stolen this picture from Rose's room a few days after we had returned from Spokane.

It had been a moment of weakness, but during one of my rounds in the female dhampir dorms, I couldn't resist and used my master key to unlock her door. I was looking for comfort, but instead I only found heartbreak. The thin layer of dust was a loud indicator that she hadn't been here in a while. However, her shadow still seemed to linger. The blankets on her bed were still pulled back from the last morning she woke up here. School papers were scattered over her small desk. There was even a small cup of water on her bedside table, the glass marked with lines of evaporation over time.

Suddenly, it hurt to even breath. I had let myself succumb to the memories of her. I gave into the horrid thought that I might never see her again and it Was physically painful to imagine a life without her in it. I needed a destraction quickly, before my depression could overtake me like it had done every night before I fell asleep.

I had never actually been in her room before, but it was easy to imagine her in here. I let my hands run over the bedside table before opening the small drawer. It didn't have much; a few pieces of jewelry including a familiar rose-shaped necklace, some loose change, and a small notebook. I picked up the necklace, remembering the last time I had seen it and how it had changed everything. Flashes of that night flickered through my mind like an old movie, and before I could justify myself, I had slipped the token into my pocket. I was about to close the drawer again when I felt a small pull towards the notebook. It didn't look like anything special, but when I opened the first page, I realized it was a journal, one that had been started a day or two after I had found her and Lissa in Portland.

Without thinking, I read the first page and laughed when she complained about her new "Russian Jailer" and vowed to "give him hell" for dragging them back to the Academy. The very next line though, she was expressing her gratitude that I had stuck my neck out for her and offered to mentor her when she was about to be expelled. Seeing her be so open reminded me that this was her private thoughts and I suddenly felt bad for invading them. I shut the notebook, with the intention of putting it back but then noticed a loose page that was falling out. Or I thought it was a page. It was actually this photo.

It must have been on that trip to Missoula. I vaguely remember Lissa taking the picture with her phone. Rose had her hair pulled up, dressed simply with a smile on her face that appeared to be taken mid laugh. I was standing slightly behind her. While I was fairly visible, I doubt Lissa had even noticed me in the picture; it was obvious that I wasn't the intended subject. I was looking at Rose with a vague grin of my own. Most would interpret the look as one of pride, but it was obvious to me – and perhaps to Rose as well – that I was falling for her even then. The feelings this image inspired were bittersweet. I was grateful for this unknown picture of the two of us, but it was a reminder of all the time I had taken her for granted; every moment I pushed her away or kept my distance because it was the "right" thing to do. I was grateful for the small moment of peace between us the night she disappeared, rather than all the tension and arguing that had led up to it, but if I could go back I would do so many things differently.

My phone beeped a small alarm, warning me that my shift was almost over for the night. Instead of replacing the photo and journal in the night stand, I took them with me, along with the rose necklace. Looking around the room one last time, I locked the door, signed out of my shift, and returned to my apartment. I assumed that both her and Mason's rooms would be treated like a fallen guardian's. A family member would soon clear them out and it would be as if they never existed. Soon, there would be no sign that Rose ever lived there.

Author's Note

I'm SO glad to be back guys! Seriously, I was getting twitchy fingers on Saturday with nothing to post. Meet Me in the Memory will post every Wednesday evening, unless unavoidable circumstances hold me back. But seeing how I'm currently writing this note on my phone from our local ER while waiting to figure out why my son is suddenly limping, I will do everything I can to be on time.

I'm so attached to this story and I hope you guys enjoy. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the first chapter!

Thank you for reading! Please remember to follow, favorite, and review!