Three days passed, and it was almost time for Fili and Dwalin to set out for Ered Luin. Fili had tried to make the most of the limited time he had with Zahra, which was difficult considering they were trying to keep their 'getting to know each other,' a secret. Fili wanted to think of it as a courtship, but it could hardly be called that, since they couldn't get a moment alone together.
As such, Fili and Zahra made the most of the time they could be in each other's presence. He would sit near her at meals, he would make sure to stretch out his morning workouts in the arena so she and Ila arrived before he finished, things like that. He was working up the courage to ask to see her after her duties were finished for the day, but didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Nor did he want to risk being caught, because anyone who saw would certainly get the wrong idea. But he was becoming so eager to see her that he was beginning to think the risk was worth it.
It was supper time, and everyone was in the great hall, taking a meal together before Fili and Dwalin departed for three weeks. Everyone except for Zahra. Thora had been rather fussy and went down for a nap, so Ila asked her to stay while she went down to supper. This was foiling Fili's plan of slipping Zahra a note, asking her to meet him later that night when she was relieved.
"Where is Thora?" Fili asked, not wanting to right out ask where Zahra was.
"She was in a bad mood, so I laid her down for a nap. Zahra stayed with her."
"Won't she miss supper?" Fili asked.
Thorin looked up from his food and leaned forward to see around his wife at his nephew.
"Does that worry you?" he asked.
"Oh, well, no. I'm sure she is fine." Fili stumbled over his words.
"He's just being thoughtful dearest," Ila interjected.
Thorin narrowed his eyes at him but went back to eating. Ila beamed at Fili, and the two shared a knowing look while Fili reddened a bit.
"I'll make sure I relieve her as soon as I return from supper, that way she can get something before the kitchens shut down for the night." Ila said, knowing he got the hint. Fili swallowed a mouth of food rather hard and nodded, looking to his plate now. Kili gave him an odd look but Ila smiled at him and raised her eyebrows, leaning back behind Fili so he wouldn't see. Kili made a face that said he got her meaning, then smiled heartily at his brother. He would prod him about it later.
On the other side of Thorin sat Dwalin and the two talked of what needed to be seen to since the last trip to Ered Luin. Check on this, see how that is going, and so forth. Dwala was next to her husband, their Farin on her lap. He was eyeing the venison and potatoes on his mother's plate with great interest, despite not being nearly old enough to consume such. Dwala kissed the top of his soft head and fed herself with her free hand, noting Dwalin's free hand that was resting on her thigh. She so did not want him to go for three weeks, but knew he had to. He wasn't a king like Thorin who could decide to send someone in his stead. And she wasn't pregnant like Ila. She was a grown dwarf, she could take care of herself and her dwarfling for three weeks.
Dwala remembered the first time Dwalin had gone to Ered Luin. So much had changed since then. She smiled at that thought and as she looked down at Farin, wondering what she had been doing with her life before she had him.
Ila was looking at Dwala and Farin, smiling as she thought of how much she wanted her little one on her lap too. Ila squeezed Thorin's hand under the table.
"I'm so glad that you aren't going tomorrow." Ila said lowly.
He squeezed her hand back. "So am I my love. I can't leave you now that there are two of you, plus our wee princess."
Ila batted her eyelashes at him beautifully, then went back to eating. She knew he needed to talk to Dwalin before he was away for so long. She finished up, then rose to go sit next to Dwala.
"Hello Farin son of Dwalin. Come to your Aunt Ila." She said in a sugar sweet voice as she took the dwarfling from his mother.
"How is your mother holding up?" she asked him as though he were perfectly capable of responding.
"She is well enough, considering she is about to be robbed of her husband." Dwala said, unable to keep some sadness from seeping into her voice.
"You'll be fine. Farin will keep you busy for sure."
"I know, the time will pass quickly I hope."
"Are you enjoying your time off then?"
"Yes! Of course. But I am ready to take up my duties again any time you should need me to, what with the new baby coming…"
"I don't want you to cut short your time with Farin because you worry for me, Zahra is doing a fine job. And you will never get this time back with your wee one."
"I know, I am grateful for it. But I do miss you."
"I miss you too. I like Zahra very much but she is so shy, I try to get her to loosen up and I believe she is coming around. I wish I could put her at ease. But I have to remind myself that she came here knowing no one, when we at least had each other."
"That's true. And I know how overwhelming and intimidating Thorin can be. She must be terrified whenever he is in the room."
"She tries to be invisible in his presence, yes. But I can hardly blame her. I have to remind myself what a bear he can seem to everyone else."
"You mean what a bear he was to you when you first came to the Mountain too." Dwala pointed out.
Ila laughed, because it was true. He had had a lot to learn about females, and still did truth be told. But he had certainly made progress with Dwala, for which she was very happy.
"Oh, and that reminds me, I have something to tell you." Ila lowered her voice.
"I believe that my master plan to find a love interest for Fili has begun to succeed."
Dwala leaned in, immediately interested. "You mean Zahra? Do you think he is intrigued?"
"I believe so, yes. He asked about her tonight, stays later than usual in the arena every morning so that he might speak to her when we arrive, AND Thorin said he saw him carrying my dresses for her down to the wash rooms a few days ago." Ila said giddily.
"Hmmm. That all could be something. But he is also so very kind, he could just be being nice to her, especially since she is so shy."
"Yes, but I see his eyes when he speaks to her and about her. I believe it is more than just his kind and polite nature."
"But she is so shy, as you said. Do you think she would like him back? Or even let herself like him back? She is a commoner….Thorin might not approve."
"I think he would be fine with it. After all…" Ila said, laying her hand on her belly, "…he will never inherit. And what other princess is there for him to marry? Someone with some royal blood perhaps, but what does it really matter? His father was not royal, you know. They were never supposed to be in line for the throne so it didn't matter who Dis married."
"All true." Dwala admitted. "I suppose time will tell, if she stays that long."
"Well, what with Thora and a new baby and my needs as well….perhaps when you come back I will keep her on for a while longer? As your second of course, you will resume your full duties, do not doubt me. But if they do develop mutual feelings I cannot allow them to be separated."
Dwala thought all that over and nodded. She could live with Zahra as a secondary handmaiden, and she did like her very much. She just hoped she could come out of her shell, and Dwala knew how hard that could be do to. She was not a social butterfly herself, never had been.
"Well, Fili is leaving for three weeks, which might hinder the development of any feelings." Dwala pointed out.
"I have faith." Ila answered as she rocked Farin, his eyelids gently closing.
Dwala shook her head at him. "I swear, all he wants to do is eat and sleep. Just like his father, minus one other important activity."
Ila giggled. She could certainly imagine what that was.
"I hope my little one is still sleeping when I go upstairs. I'll be glad when all these baby teeth finally come in."
"Oh, I am dreading that with this one." Dwala replied. "And just think what having two fussy little dwarflings will be like."
Ila beamed, ready for the challenge no matter how tough it might be. She had wanted another one, and despite what Thorin had originally wanted, they were having one.
"I predict you will have another soon too, what with your husband only wanting to eat, sleep and ….what was that last one?" Ila said jokingly and Dwala began to laugh with food in her mouth. Ila began to laugh too and soon their husbands were staring at them quizzically.
"Don't worry about it, I am afraid I can't repeat it anyway." Ila said.
"That's not very queen like behavior my love," Thorin said, but clearly joking.
"Well then I suppose that means I should retire where I cannot embarrass you, your majesty." Ila said and handed a sleepy Farin back to his mother.
"And I'm sure these two would like some alone time before tomorrow my love." Ila said indicating Dwala and Dwalin.
"Of course," Thorin replied, having finished eating anyway. He slapped his old friend on the back and got up to escort his wife from the room. They bid everyone goodnight and were off. Dwala and Dwalin were close behind, Dwalin taking their sleepy dwarfling in his arms to carry. That left Fili and Kili at the table alone.
"So…brother. What are you up to tonight?" Kili asked Fili.
"Um, well I had nothing in mind particularly. Why?"
"Oh, well this is the last night you're here for three weeks….thought you might like to share a few drinks with the lads…you know nothing serious."
"Oh, well yeah. Later I mean, there is something I have to do first."
"Oh, like what?" Kili asked, knowing full well the answer.
"Oh nothing really, just packing…."
"Does it by chance start with a 'Z' and end with an 'A'….." Kili asked.
Fili shot him a look. "Why would you think that?"
"Because the way you stare at her brother, obviously."
"Is it that obvious?" Fili asked, a bit panic stricken.
"To be, because I know you better than anyone, except perhaps our mother, who will most certainly notice if she sees the two of you in the same room."
Fili took a big gulp of ale. He thought for a moment about denying it but he was clearly had.
"Well, what do you think then?"
"About her? Or about your fancying her?"
"Err, well both."
"I think she is very pretty. But she is so shy it is difficult to make out her personality. But, I also see you with someone like her, as opposed to someone less reserved, to put it nicely, such as Asta for instance."
Fili took that in and nodded. "And the second matter?"
"I think there is no reason why you shouldn't fancy her. She is a commoner, but that has never stopped me, obviously. And now that Ila is with child again an heir is guaranteed. So who could have anything to say about it?"
Fili was comforted by his brother's analysis, but then that left one more dwarf of concern….
"Well, if you think uncle will be fine with it, how do you think mother would be?" Fili hadn't told Kili, or anyone else, the exchange between him and uncle in the throne room when Zahra arrived in Erebor. He had joked with him about needing a wife one day, and if he found Zahra charming. But Fili wasn't sure if he was being serious about it or just picking at him. What would uncle say if he proclaimed feelings for Zahra?
Kili made a face. "Err….I don't see mother ever thinking that any maiden is good enough for either of us. But I think she would be more apt to like Zahra than most. Again, not to speak ill of Asta continuously, but mother never would have gone for that."
"No, she would not."
"I think that if she made you happy then it would make mother happy, ultimately. But you know how protective she is of us."
"She is also very kind, and warm, and gracious, we are just the only ones that really see that—"
"Because we are the only ones that really see her."
"Yes, but she has come out more and more with Ila and Thora being a part of the family now, imagine how happy a grandbaby would make her—"
"Kili! No one said anything about that! I mean, I don't even know if this will work out I just—"
"I didn't mean tomorrow! I just mean, that if you like her, see how it goes. Why not?" Kili assured him.
Fili calmed down, glad to have confessed his feelings to his brother. It felt good to tell someone, and to have their approval.
"I don't know, I'm not like you. I'm not…naturally good with the maids." Fili said.
"Oh please. I mean just look at your beard, it's twice as full as most dwarves your age…"
"The lack of one has never hurt you."
"Yeah, well I make up for that in other ways. Like with confidence. You just have to be yourself, and if she doesn't fall for you being you then you don't want her."
Fili looked at Kili then like he'd never seen him before. "Those are wise words brother."
"Aye, I pride myself on being full of surprises." Kili said smirking, looking and sounding much more like himself. "Now, go get her." Kili said as he inclined his head towards the door.
Zahra had just walked in, Ila obviously having made good on her promise to send Zahra down for some supper as soon as she returned to their chambers.
She was wearing a cream colored dress, the same modest neckline that she always wore. Her light brown locks were shimmering in the torch light and Fili noticed the braids around her face were woven in thicker strands today. He noticed little things like that…
His thoughts were interrupted by Kili elbowing him hard in the arm. He shot him a look but got up and went to sit with her, she seating herself just inside the door and grabbing a little of what was left for supper. Most dwarves had cleared out already.
Fili sat next to her, bringing his ale with him. She looked up startled and with a full mouth already.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to surprise you. Just thought I would give you a little company."
Zahra swallowed before she was ready and coughed a bit as a result. Fili grabbed her some water.
She took it gratefully. "Thanks, sorry about that."
"I'm sorry for frightening you. I just…wanted the chance to say goodbye before I leave, in case I don't see you tomorrow morning."
"Oh yes, I was afraid I would miss you tonight too. The princess is still teething and was rather upset."
"I heard. Ila promised me you would get supper though…..so I waited."
Zahra smiled at him and continued eating. She felt bad for eating so ravenously in front of him and while he was trying to make conversation, but if she didn't eat now she would be hungry till breakfast.
"I am glad. I hurried down in hopes you still might be here."
It was his turn to smile.
"Have you ever been to the Blue Mountains?"
"I have not. Before I came here I'd never left the Iron Hills."
"I'd thought so, but figured I would ask. They are near the sea. Kili and I were born there. It was the only home I knew before we reclaimed the Mountain. You should see it someday."
"I would like to. Have you ever been to the Iron Hills?"
"I haven't. Our mother kept us close for most of our lives. We didn't do much traveling until we sat out on the quest with uncle, to be honest. Just short trips, accompanying merchants here and there to trade nearby."
"Are you looking forward to going home then?"
"Well, this is home now, because it is where my family is. But I am a bit eager to see Ered Luin again. Although, after the journey to reclaim Erebor I have had enough traveling to suit me for the rest of my life."
"I'm sure. The stories of Thorin's company and the quest to reclaim Erebor have already been told a thousand times in the Hills. It sounded terribly long and frightening."
"Oh, well it was long…but not so frightening…" Fili said trying to sound tough.
"How can you say that?! What with the goblins, and the orcs, and the trolls, the giant spiders, and the DRAGON?!
Fili chuckled. "Well, perhaps there were some scary moments."
Zahra laughed. "You are downplaying a great bit, I do believe. I can't imagine even seeing what you faced. It is only by Mahal's grace that you made it, any of you."
"No one thought we would succeed, which is why Dain declined to join us from the outset."
Zahra didn't argue with him, no one had believed for a second that a group of twelve dwarves would retake Erebor from Smaug, but she said nothing to that effect.
"Well, we are all very glad that you did succeed."
Fili smiled. "So am I. Perhaps one day you will see the Blue Mountains, and I will see the Iron Hills?"
"I would like that. I would also like to see home again…not to say that I am missing it. I am very happy here."
"Well, maybe you can show me your home one day, and I can show you the Blue Mountains."
Zahra couldn't stop smiling, she felt like a fool. She also didn't think those things would really happen, but they were a nice day dream.
"That would be nice," is all she replied.
Zahra decided she was done eating then, and Fili asked if he could escort her to her room. She allowed it, but the two kept an appropriate distance as they walked. Zahra's room, small but more than she'd had to herself back in the Iron Hills, was near to the royal chambers and not far from Fili's. As they reached her door, Zahra turned to lean her back against the door.
"I do hope you will be safe on your journey tomorrow. And that it is a pleasant one."
Fili smiled. "I will be fine. But I would rather not go, truth be known."
"I would rather you didn't either….truth be known. I don't feel alone here when I am with you."
Fili smiled. "You'll miss me then?" He asked hopefully.
"Of course," Zahra whispered.
Fili leaned forward and Zahra stayed still, not sure what to do. Fili tilted his head to avoid bumping noses, then gently pressed his lips to hers. Zahra felt fireworks going off around her head, and didn't close her eyes at first, but stared back at him, his eyes gently shut.
She didn't press back into him until the last second, unsure of herself and just letting it happen. Fili began to pull away for fear that she didn't like it, but as he did Zahra leaned forward and he stopped, the two of them pressing into one another, albeit a bit awkwardly now.
When they broke Zahra felt out of breath; both of them were breathing hard and she was suddenly embarrassed. She went to turn towards her door, but Fili put out an arm, resting his hand flat on the door and stopping her. She turned back to him, staring up with blushing cheeks and parted rosy lips. Fili stepped forward slowly and joined their lips again. He resisted the urge to slip his tongue between her lips, it was too soon for that, he told himself.
He heard Zahra make a soft whimper, but she was returning the kiss so he didn't worry. She smelled like mint…fresh and clean…and she was so soft….
Reluctantly, he broke it off, afraid of too much too fast. They blinked at one another, and then their hands found each other of their own accord and laced their fingers together. Fili leaned his forehead down on hers, and Zahra felt his eyelashes brushing her face as he blinked.
"I….I wish you didn't have to go tomorrow."
"I know, but I shall be back before you know it."
"You will think of me while you are gone?"
"Every day."
Zahra smiled and so did he before he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. They stayed like that for a while, trying to hold off morning and the parting it would bring.
Nearby, Erebor was full of other happy couples. Ila was on her back, her legs laid against Thorin's chest and happy to be back in her favorite position. Thorin smiled and shook his head at her while he held onto to her ankles and thrust in and out of her. She was sighing and giggling all at once, happy as she could be that her husband was not leaving in the morning.
Beneath them in less lavish chambers but no less happy, Dwalin and Dwala lay facing each other in bed, Farin between them. He was fast asleep and Dwalin was admiring him, waiting for his love to fall asleep before he did. Dwala was drifting off against her best efforts, not wanting the night to end and her husband to go. She soon lost her battle with sleep, and Dwalin held her tight with Farin safely snuggled between them, wondering how he could be so fortunate.
A/N: A belated merry Christmas to you, wherever you are! And a very happy new year! I hope you all got nerdy and wonderful gifts this holiday season, I certainly did. Who doesn't need a life-sized Thorin cardboard cutout for their office, after all?