The Blue Mountains were as Fili remembered them. He had spent all he could remember of his life until the journey here. He did miss it sometimes, if he was being honest, but he had been raised on tales of the Mountain, and that was his home now.
He and Dwalin had been there for half a week already and everything was going well. Finances were in order, there were plenty of stores being put away for winter, regular maintenance was being performed properly, so on and so forth. There had been a great feast to welcome them as there always was, but the council there was surprised to see that Thorin had not come. Though not terribly surprised, with the news of a new baby that ravens had brought to the mountains weeks ago. Of course Thorin would stay in Erebor now, especially now that he had nephews who wouldn't be king and had to be put to use in other ways. Fili was given all the appropriate respect and courtesies, and Dwalin was legendary among dwarves. No one got in his way and he had everyone's respect where ever he went.
But now Fili noticed something else. He seemed to have caught the eye of several female dwarves that had little interest in him beforehand. He was sure Kili not being there helped too, but now that he was apparently important enough to oversee things at Ered Luin without his uncle he was somehow more interesting. More than one maid had winked at him at the welcome feast, one was so bold as to pretend to drop something in front of him, then make a great show of bending over to display her extensive cleavage. Fili averted his eyes and Dwalin could barely contain his laughter.
If Zahra had not been in his life, he might find all of this flattering or even tempting, but then probably not. He felt a bit offended honestly that females were only interested in him now that he had more responsibilities and importance. And of course, because his brother was absent.
No, he didn't want any female that saw him that way. He knew Zahra did not. He would see the sincerity in her eyes. He hoped she was coming out of her shell a bit while he was away, he didn't want her to be lonely.
He was thinking about the kisses they had shared the night before he left, as he stared out towards where the sea lay. It was late in the evening and the sun was going down. He was sitting on a quiet terrace, enjoying the weather and remembering Zahra's face.
Maybe this could be their home….if they were to marry. Since he would never inherit the crown now, perhaps he could stay here in Ered Luin permanently, oversee it in Uncle's stead and give Zahra a new home. It was beautiful here, and less stuffy than the Mountain could be at times. Fili liked the Mountain, and had considered it his forever home once they had won it back, but now…..he was not so sure. He would ask Uncle later; everything in its own time. For now, he had to win Zahra, but he found Dwalin's advice on that to be too simple.
Was there something he could gift her? Was it too early for that? There was not much to bring back from Ered Luin; it was not a particularly prosperous place and only iron was mined there. There were plenty of merchants, tinkerers, toymakers and such, but what could she want that he could gift her? Perhaps he should wait a while longer and get her something from the mines in Erebor. Something shiny and precious. Every dwarven female loved things of that description.
"You look pensive." Dwalin said having snuck up on him, and Fili wondered that Dwalin knew such a word.
"A bit, I suppose."
"Thinking about Zahra? You do have it bad."
"Not just about her. About the rest of my life, you know?"
"That's a long time to think about. Lots can happen. I wouldn't trouble myself too much." Dwalin said, sitting across from him lighting his pipe.
Fili pulled out his own pipe and joined Dwalin. Nothing was quite as relaxing as smoking a pipe. He wondered if Zahra smoked a pipe. Plenty of females did. He'd seen his mother do it plenty when he was younger.
Perhaps that's what he could bring her! There would be plenty of merchants there that could carve a fine pipe for sure. And if she didn't know how to use one, he would teach her. Fili smiled and blew a perfect smoke ring, happy with himself.
Back under the lonely Mountain, supper was over but the night was still young. In one of the private sitting rooms, several members of Thorin's old company sat around with ale and their pipes and their instruments, playing and singing for the others present. Thorin had his golden harp which Ila loved to hear him play, as did Thora. Ila sat next to him, Thora in her lap looking curiously up at Thorin. Dwala sat next to her, Farin in her arms and resting his head on her breast, looking about to fall asleep despite all the noise. Definitely his father's son.
Kili was nearby playing his fiddle, Balin with his viol next to him, and next to Balin sat Ori with his flute. Ori was a little older than Ila but he seemed so young to her, so timid and so awkward, but sweet. He obviously looked up to Balin and was often right behind him.
Ori's brothers Nori and Dori were there with their flutes too, then the great dwarf Bombur with a drum, and his brother's Bofur and Bifur with clarinets. Bofur was kind and charming, Ila liked him very much. Bifur was nice too but spoke only Khuzdul and was often in another world, so as far as getting to know him she really hadn't. Oin and Gloin were there too, though they played no instruments, but Oin held his ear horn up to happily listen to the goings on. Gimli's wife sat next to him, holding his hand and their son, Gimli, sat with Kili but played no instrument either, only enjoyed his pipe and ale. Dis was feeling under the weather and decided to stay in her rooms, and Ila had given Zahra the night off to do as she pleased. That constituted sitting in bed with a good book and some hot tea. Tending to the royals had seriously cut into her reading time.
Ila began to bounce Thora to the music and she laughed loudly in approval. Ila was so happy, it didn't seem things like this could last. She had been happy so long, sometimes she was afraid it would all come crashing down. Another war, the loss of someone dear, anything was possible. And she was going to have another baby, so the fear that she might die trying to birth it had resurfaced in the back of her mind. She knew she shouldn't worry about it already, but she couldn't help it. She pushed it away for the moment, enjoying the revelry of the night. Kili came and sat at her feet then, playing to her and Thora. Thorin looked at them and smiled, but as Kili's hand came up to touch Ila's belly and speak to the heir, he felt a tightness in his chest. There was no reason he should have so jealous, they were very familiar with each other, but the scene was so intimate and strange. The moment passed quickly, but Thorin felt like he was an outsider looking in, like Ila and Kili and Thora could have been their own little family sitting there.
They did spend a lot of time together….she was always pleading to practice with him….she had wanted him so very badly to stay behind when he went to Ered Luin the first time she was pregnant….he had allowed them out of doors to practice together before…how many times had he escorted her to the royal chambers?
He H suddenly replaying seemingly innocuous events in his mind that from Ila's very coming to the Mountain. The night when she had been out on the balcony before they were married-Kili had brought her back, but then Fili had too.
Then a terrible and heart wrenching thought seized his soul.
He looked at Thora. She looked too much like him….well she had his eyes. The rest belonged to Ila, but he was sure she was his.
But…..what about the baby in her stomach? Thorin thought hard about this one. There had been one night when they had failed to disengage before he came in her….enough to make a baby after all since once was all it took….but they had been careful.
What if it wasn't his? What if it was Kili's? And that is why Ila had insisted so much that it was possible when she told him she was pregnant again. She had after all been on top of him when he came-maybe she didn't get off in time on purpose. Perhaps she was afraid she was pregnant with Kili's child and wanted to ensure she could pass it off as his if she needed to. And the accident that had occurred when Ila was pregnant with Thora! Had it been an accident? Perhaps they were already in love, and trying to rid her of an unwanted child sired my him, not Kili.
Too many scenarios were running like mad through Thorin's mind. He'd told his sister from the beginning Ila was too young for him, a better match for one of the boys, but she had insisted he was being foolish. Was he? They looked so happy together. And he was king…so busy all the time, so often away from Ila. And what did Kili have to do? Anything he wanted…all the time in the world.
"Thorin?" Balin called.
"Hmm?" Thorin responded, having barely heard him.
"You've stopped playing."
"Oh, right. Sorry, lost the tune." He replied and began to pluck his harp again. Ila was laughing at something Kili had said and hadn't even noticed.
Was he a fool? Or was he just being foolish? He couldn't know for sure. She had been very angry at him, if only briefly, calling him possessive. How dare she. She was his to be possessive of. And if she had betrayed him he was going to find out.
Later, when everyone was making their way to their own rooms, Thorin bid Ila to go ahead and go up to their chambers, saying he would be up in a bit. She seemed a little curious but did as he said, taking Thora with her. He watched to see if Kili went after her, but he stayed and talked with Gimli some more. Thorin said his goodnights and went somewhere he did not often frequent. There was a reason for that, but he needed to be alone so he could think.
The hall of treasures generally brought back bad memories for Thorin, but it was sure no one would bother him here. He walked slowly through the sea of gold, recalling how close he had come to madness, how he had almost been like his grandfather. That felt like ages ago now. He had a new life. He had a beautiful queen and equally beautiful daughter. And until tonight he had been sure of his queen's loyalty to him. Perhaps he was just still upset about her encounter with Bard. But then there were too many incidents, too many happenings that involved his youngest nephew and his wife.
She was always so upset about not being given freedom or being allowed to practice her bow…she got so angry with him when he tried to restrict her activities. Too angry? He just wasn't sure…but he had not missed the reverent look in Kili's eyes that night as he stared up at Ila, his hand on her belly….
Thorin seethed under his furs at the thought of them twisted in his sheets together. They had plenty of time for such things. But how could he know if it was the truth? Wait for the baby to be born and have a look at him? No, there had to be a better way.
Dwala was useless for this. She had served Ila her whole life and he was certain she would never betray her trust. Fili was away, and he didn't believe he could trust him to spy on his own brother anyway. That left only one possibility.
Zahra was shy, timid, afraid of him and eager to please. She hadn't known Ila before she came to Erebor, she would have no real loyalty to her. And Fili had noticed her….perhaps she fancied him too? She was perfect for this task. Thorin left the treasure hall then, giving it one last glance, thinking how he had proven everyone wrong. He wasn't his grandfather. He wasn't sick. He wasn't mad.
On his way back to his chambers, Thorin stopped at Zahra's door. He feared she was already asleep, but soon the door opened and she peered out through the crack.
"My king!" she exclaimed, drawing her robe closed over her sleeping gown. "How can I serve you?"
"If I may come in, I will not take but a moment of your time." Thorin asked.
Zahra opened the door and stepped back, standing in the tiny antechamber with a candlestick in one hand.
Thorin didn't bother sitting, he only shut the door behind him lest anyone pass by and hear.
"I have a task for you, though it should not prove too taxing. As you know, the queen is with child again, and it is like to be a boy this time. I of course worry that she strains herself too much, and would ask that you keep a very close eye on her at all times."
Zahra was certain that she already did that, but nodded anyway. "Of course your majesty, I am at her disposal at all times."
"Yes I know, but I am just a worrisome husband you see. My nephew is young and careless, I am afraid he might lead her astray, in the practice arena or elsewhere. If you were to see anything going on, that perhaps should not be, I insist that you must tell me."
Zahra thought that over. He did seem to be a bit of a worry wart, but he was a king without an heir, and an older one.
"I will watch them together intently, my lord." Zahra assured him.
"Good. I would ask that you do so when they aren't aware you are watching, also." Thorin said and made to go, but then turned back to her.
"Oh, and please mention nothing to Ila. She thinks I worry too much, and I probably do. But it would upset her to know that I am having you report her activities to me, and the last thing I want is for her to be upset in her state."
Zahra nodded, saying she understood completely.
"If I discovered you had told her, and she would tell me, I am afraid I would have to send you back to the Iron Hills. And Ila tells me that you like it here—"
"I understand my king." Zahra cut him off, wanting him to be sure of her answer.
"Very well." Thorin said with the slightest of smiles and opened the door to leave.
Zahra stood there for a long moment after he was gone. That had been so strange. He must be worried indeed to visit her like this, but she was not stupid. Something was not right about this. But what could she do? If she told Ila she would be furious and confront Thorin. That would mean she would be shipped back to the Iron Hills and away from Fili, perhaps never to see him again. She couldn't let that happen. She didn't like the idea of spying on Ila, but as long as there was nothing to report it did no harm, right? She hadn't seen anything to report to Thorin anyway, not really.
Zahra went back to bed, a little troubled, but trying to convince herself that Thorin was just a worrisome old dwarf like he said, no matter how hard it was to believe something greater wasn't at play.