TATTOOS, FRIENDS & FIGHTS

SUZY POV

After training Christina drags Tris and me shopping. Do I like shopping? Not really but Tris hated it. I like to be out of the dull gray clothes that we have always worn but I'm not yet completely comfortable with the tight fitting clothes of Dauntless. I like the choices and variety of clothing on offer. I'm sure I will get used to all the differences that we now have her in Dauntless compared to Abnegation.

I love that I get to just hang out with friends. In Abnegation we always had to be so formal with each other. Here I get to laugh and act like I am sixteen. After shopping we meet Will and Al at the tattoo shop. Al wanted to get a tattoo to feel more Dauntless. I don't think it will work for him; we all have to hear him cry every night. I haven't shed any tears over leaving my family. Even if I had stayed Robert wouldn't have been there and I know that my parents supported his decision to leave and I am sure they would have supported mine as well. So as much as I miss my family I am more upset about what happened with Caleb. I have shed tears over Caleb, then I just get angry with myself because I know he doesn't deserve my tears.

So now I am standing in the middle of a Dauntless tattoo shop. Everyone else has either gotten a tattoo or is in the middle of getting one. I am not ready for a tattoo but I have decided to get my ears pierced. I think that is about as Dauntless as I can get in this department right now. I think I would like to get a tattoo one day but I'm not ready yet.

Fights are starting this morning. We walk into the training room and see Four stepping away from the board with our names on it. I look across and I think my breakfast is about to come back up. I have to fight Tris. I can't believe that I have to fight my friend first. I then look at the other names and see that they have paired everyone similarly. Al and Will are friends, same with Drew and Peter, then you have Edward and Myra they are a couple and have to fight, the only pair that aren't friends but are from the same faction is Christina and Molly.

Will and Al are up first. They step into the arena and it begins. I don't like that I have to watch my friends fighting each other. I like even less that I am going to have to fight Tris. I can hear Christina talking to Tris about Molly, Peter and Drew. I can hear but I'm not really listening. I am concentrating on the fight, I may not want to watch this but I also need to watch so I can learn more.

ERIC POV

Not much has been happening with the fight and I am agitated. I shout at Will and Al, "Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for naptime? Fight each other?"

"But . . ." Al says, "Is it scored or something" When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," I say.

"According to Dauntless rules," Four says, "one of you could also concede."

I turn my head so I am looking directly at Four. "According to the old rules," I say. "In the new rules, no one concedes."

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," four replies.

"A brave man never surrenders," I say.

Four then hisses to me in a whisper so the initiates can't hear, "What is wrong with you? This is ridiculous."

"You told me to keep acting like I usually do. Well this was the rule that I was going to introduce this year. Max knows that I am introducing it, if I change now he will know."

"You want to stand here over the coming days and watch Suzy get beaten to a pulp?" he asks. He knows where to hit me without taking a swing. No I don't want to stand here and watch that but I have to keep up this charade. At least until they make Four a leader, then I can let him dictate the rules. But until then I have to act like the asshole I have always been.

"You know I don't. But I can't back down either," I say. I turn away from Four and see that the two in the ring are still just standing there. I yell at the top of my voice, "FIGHT!" and then I walk away from Four. I don't need any more of his guilt trip, it was his bloody idea that I keep acting like my asshole self.

I walk around the ring; to everyone it looks like I am watching the fight but I'm not. I am angry. Angry at Four, angry at myself. I wish he hadn't brought up Suzy, no I don't want to watch her fight but I also know I have too. Now I'm angry at Suzy as well, why did she have to come to Dauntless? I could have just kept acting like a prick until stage one was over and then I wouldn't have to be around the initiates any more. I just keep walking until I hear a thud and turn to see that Will has been knocked out.

"Get him up," I say. I watch as Al tries to pick him up and Four goes and circles Al's name on the chalkboard. Four goes over to where Al is trying to pick Will up and Four grabs Will and supports him by the waist and leads him out of the room.

"Next up-Molly and Christina!" I shout. I look over and I can see Tris looking nervous as she watches Four leave the room. Even though I have been nice to Tris I can see that she is still wary of me. Smart girl I think. Hopefully this means that I am doing a good job of acting. I am not looking forward to her and Suzy's fight. This fight with the two girls from Candor, I don't really care what happens. The sooner we knock out their Candor ways the better.

I watch as Molly and Christina enter the ring. Suzy is standing with Tris and Al; she has her arm linked with Tris's. This makes me cringe; they will have to fight in a few minutes and to see them supporting each other while their friend is in the ring hurts. It hurts because I am going to have to watch them hurt each other and I don't want to see that. Don't they realise they should be as far from one another at the moment? Supporting each other like they are will only make it harder.

The fight has been going for a while now. I'm still watching the two Abnegation girls when I hear Christina. "Stop!" she calls out as Molly pulls her foot back to kick again. She holds out a hand. "Stop! I'm . . ." She coughs. "I'm done."

I walk over to the centre of the ring as slowly as I can. I am trying to make each movement as deliberate and strong as I can. I stand over Christina with my arms folded. I think part of me is trying to prolong the time before I have to watch Suzy fight. I say quietly, "I'm sorry, what did you say? You're done?"

Christina pushes herself to her knees. I can't have initiates going against my rules, I will not tolerate it. I'm already in a bad mood after my words with Four.

"Get up," I say, again quietly. I grab Christina's arm and I yank her to her feet dragging her out the door.

"Follow me," I call to the other initiates. Then I drag Christina toward the railing where I know the water from the river below will affect her the most.

I shove Christina against the rail. I know that most of why I am doing this is because I am angry at myself. But I need the initiates to learn that they can't give up. They need to keep fighting, just like I am against Jeanine. I need them strong. Stronger than I have been in the past.

"Climb over it," I say.

"What?" she says. I see her eyes widen as she realises what I have told her to do.

"Climb over the railing," I say. "If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't, I will not allow you to continue initiation."

I can see she is thinking about this and that is what worries me. If she was truly Dauntless she would have just accepted her fate and done it. "Fine," she finally says. I can hear the fear in her voice.

She swings her leg over the railing. She wipes her hands on her pants and holds the railing as she takes her feet off the ledge. Every ounce of my brain is screaming that I shouldn't be doing this, but I am. I stand with a blank expression on my face; I can't let anyone know what I am really feeling. For the first minute and a half Christina is doing well. But then the water in the chasm hits the wall and white water sprays against Christina's back. Her face strikes the barrier, and she cries out. Her hands slip so she is just holding on by her fingertips. I know I need to watch carefully now, I can't have her falling to her death, I couldn't live with that.

I hear her sob as another spray of water hits her body. That water would be freezing cold. I can't believe she hasn't conceded yet. Maybe she is stronger than I thought.

"What is going on?" Four asks. He looks down to see Christina hanging from the railing.

"She conceded. I am teaching her a lesson," I say.

"You have taken this too far Eric," he says as he walks over to Christina and lifts her over the railing.

"Get back to the training room," he says to the initiates. They are standing there stunned. Tris has gone over and hugged Christina. "Now!" he yells. The initiates start to move.

"I will discuss this with you when I get back," he says facing me. He then guides Christina away with Tris helping.

I am still standing here and I look to see that Suzy hasn't left.

"Why did you do that?" she asks.

"She was told the rules. I needed to make an example of her," I say.

"An example, really? That is, I don't know what it is but . . ." she says. She thinks for a few seconds then she says, "people told me to be wary of you but I wanted to ignore them and make up my own mind. But you are proving them right."

With that she starts to walk off. "Suzy," I call out but she keeps walking. I run to catch up and I grab her arm and turn her to face me. "You're not wrong Suzy," I say.

"Then why? Why do you act like you do?" she asks.

I sigh and then say, "I can't explain it."

"Well when you can explain it then come find me," she says and she walks off again.

I can't explain it to her. Not yet. I don't even know where to start and I can't talk about it here in the middle of the pit. I just stand here watching her walk away feeling totally defeated. I am brought out of myself imposed pity party by Four grabbing my arm.

"Are you completely insane?" he asks.

"No."

"Then tell me why you are acting like a bigger dick than usual. I told you to keep acting the way you normally would but today's stunts are over the top even by your standards," he says.

"I was angry with myself after what you said to me in the training room. I suppose I took it out on Christina," I say.

"You suppose! Eric I'm not going to watch as you make training into a blood bath," he says.

"Well what are you going to do Four? I'm in charge, what I say goes," I tell him. I know he is right but I can't back down. He may be helping me but that doesn't mean I will back down from him. Especially over this.

"Fine," he says. "If you want your training methods used than I will fight you. Winner gets to decide how the fights are managed."

"You can't be serious," I say.

"I am deadly serious Eric. I'm not going to watch training made into your personal blood bath. This way you have an excuse for changing your methods. But if you do this you need to remember that when you lose to me you are going to lose the respect of every initiate in there," he says pointing towards the training room doors.

I would love nothing better than to fight Four. But I also know that he is right, I am more likely to lose to him than win. Then I will have to deal with the fall out and it won't just be the initiates who will lose respect for me. There is too much riding on this and I can't afford to lose.

"Okay you win. But I'm not telling the initiates that they can concede. You or I can stop a fight when we see that there is a clear winner," I say. Hoping he will go for my compromise.

"I can agree to that," he says and he walks back into the training room.