~ROSE~

It had been Lissa's idea. I think she was trying to find a way to make me feel better, worried that my distress during dinner was still the result of the mean girls earlier rather than the sudden and shocking realization that I might be falling for someone that I had no business being attracted to. Either way, I wasn't really given any other option but to accept her proclamation for a sleepover.

"Slumber party? Liss, you're 21 and one of the most influential people in the Moroi world, and you want to have a slumber party?" Christian seemed hesitant to taunt his fiancé over the matter, but you could see that it was barely being held back.

"Sure!" She replied eagerly and somehow unaware of how odd her suggestion sounded, even to me. "Rose and I used to do this all the time when we were younger. It would be nice to relive some of those memories."

My eye flit to Adrian, hoping to see anyone who might have caught just how ironic her statement really was, but I stayed mum on the fact that I didn't have those memories to relive. "Sounds good," I replied instead. "Actually, it sounds great. I've never actually been to a sleepover, or at least not one that I could recall."

"And who knows, maybe it'll trigger something for you." She somehow seemed even more excited than she had been just a few moments ago, if it was possible.

I highly doubted that pillow fights and boy talk would be what my mind needed to reboot, but it made Lissa happy, so I wasn't going to say no. Plus, it beat me laying alone in bed and trying to not think about Dimitri's smile. And voice. And arms. And...everything.

"So how are we doing this? To be perfectly frank, as much fun as booting Christian to the couch seems, I don't really want to sleep in the bed that you two share. At least, not without replacing the sheets."

"Har de har," Lissa laughed mockingly. "No, I was thinking your room would be fine. If that's okay, I mean. You have a TV so we could marathon some comedies on Netflix and binge on popcorn and M&M's, just like old times."

"Sounds good, Liss."

It didn't take long to clear the dishes, especially when Dimitri insisted on finishing them up so we could go enjoy our girls' night. Part of me wondered if living in a house full of women had anything to do with Dimitri's acceptance and even reverence of the slumber party ritual. He definitely seemed to approve of the idea, that's for sure.

"Have fun tonight," he encouraged, hands hidden underneath the suds in the sink.

"Oh we will." My promise might have been a bit too enthusiastic to be fully believed, but nobody had the opportunity to call me out on it before Lissa was dragging me upstairs.

"So. Tell me. What does one of our slumber parties entail? Are we going to braid each other's hair, or maybe make some prank calls. Oh, I know! We could practice making out." I had assumed that she would playfully shriek at the suggestion, but Lissa surprised me with a saucy grin of her own.

"Well, you have two out of three."

"Oh really? Care to clarify which ones?"

"Well, I already practice with Christian, so I don't think that last suggestion is strictly necessary."

Wincing instinctively at the thought, I laughed at her playfulness and tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Your loss."

"Mmmhmm. I'm sure. Anyways, pick your poison. Parks & Rec or Friends."

"Parks & Rec, all the way." I plopped down on my bed, throwing some of the pillow on the floor to make room for Vasilisa when she reached into the bag that she had snuck in along with her pajamas.

"Oh, and I might have snagged something from Dimitri's private stash," she admitted cryptically before turning to reveal a bottle of Stoli.

"You stole the Russian's vodka? I'm not sure that was the wisest choice."

"It's not like he actually drinks the stuff. He probably won't even know it's missing. Honestly, I'm more worried what will happen when he realizes I took some of the candy bars." She held a couple of large rectangles with words scripted across them in a language that I couldn't understand. Russian...or Cyrillic...it didn't matter, I knew chocolate when I saw it.

I laughed, snatching on of the bars and ripping into the paper and foil wrapper before taking a bite with a loud hum of approval. It may not be the best chocolate I had ever had (living in Vegas did have its perks, high-quality couture chocolate being one of them) but there was no such thing as bad chocolate.

About halfway through the first episode of silly sitcoms, the girl talk began. I could see Lissa squirming a bit, some thought trying to work its way out into the open.

"So, tell me about living in Vegas."

"What about it?" Some of the popcorn fell from my mouth as I tried to stuff another handful inside.

"Well, what did you do for fun?"

"Honestly, I ended up working more often than not, and on the nights I had off I liked to sit back and relax." It was the truth. I was pretty sure that the sofa at our apartment had a permanent indent of my bum.

"So you lived in Vegas and did nothing wild and crazy?" The look on her face was almost exactly what I imagined my face looked like when I learned vampires weren't just imaginary.

"Oh, I'm not saying that. When we first moved down, Marie and I acted like typical tourists. We did some of the rides, hit some of the clubs, and even took in a couple of shows. Marie freaked out on the Hot Shot which was hilarious. I can still remember the sound of her shrieking and there might have been some maniacal laughter on my part."

Lissa's smile was genuine, but grew wistful as I offered more and more stories from mine and Marie's adventures.

"It sounds like you two are close."

"Yeah. But that happens when all you have is each other, you know? I don't know if I would have been able to make it without her. And to a certain extent, she needed me too. Her super-conservative family had pretty much disowned her after she had gotten pregnant and even though the baby didn't make it, she decided that she needed to start over away from the memories and judgment. I guess we were both starting over in our own way."

Lissa nodded, an odd look in her eye like she was trying to look into the past. "We did that too once. Definitely not to the same extent you or Marie did, but we leaned on each other quite a bit over the years too. First when my family died in the crash, because they were almost like your family too. But we had the Academy back then so it wasn't just us. Then when we left the Academy...It was like starting from scratch. You got us enrolled in school somehow, you got us an apartment, you made sure we survived. We were flying under the radar, and we had a few close calls, but we made it work together."

"Sounds like it's the story of my life. Starting over again and again. I guess it's too much to hope for a life of peace and quiet..."

"You wouldn't be able to handle it."

For a moment I was offended, and frankly surprised that the pretty, pretty princess would say something like that...until I saw her serious facade break apart in a fit of giggles. I tumbled after her.

"Yeah," I finally admitted while trying to catch my breath, "you're probably right."

And almost in a moment, I could understand how two girls from opposite worlds could grow to best friends and sisters. How I could be willing to sacrifice myself for her safety and how she could love me so much that she somehow reached across the wall of death to bring me back to life. We were completely opposite from one another, but in a weird way, we worked together.

However, I couldn't help a nagging question in the back of my mind. Lissa was a healer...but she had yet to even offer to restore my memories. If anyone could fix this situation, it would be her...right? If she could make all this go away, then why hasn't she done so yet? She seemed more eager than anyone else for me to remember our childhood together. It didn't make sense.

I tried to let my bitterness simmer on the back burner, but it overflowed unexpectedly when my back was turned. Lissa was rambling about some wedding plans, something about choosing the flowers and having difficulty finding the right color of hydrangea for the ceremony, when I just blurted it out.

"Why haven't you healed me?"

She froze in the middle of her sentence, her jaw falling slack for a moment before she composed herself. "What do you mean? I've healed you plenty of times."

"I mean now. Why haven't you healed my memory loss?"

"Oh...oh, Rose. I wish I could."

"You can't?" I didn't know if I should be relieved that she wasn't simply ignoring my need for her gift, or disappointed that it wasn't even a possibility.

"No. At least, I'm pretty sure I can't. From what you were describing to us, it sounds like your memory loss isn't due to some injury. If you had hit your head and that caused the amnesia, I might be able to fix it, but it sounds like the problem is more psychological than physical. Unfortunately, my Spirit specialty doesn't extend to mental disorders."

"Oh." Disappointed. I was definitely disappointed.

"Hey, I can still try if you'd like." Lissa sat up, crossing her legs on my bed and gesturing me over. I scooted in front of her so our knees touched. She grabbed my hands, squeezing them briefly before placing her palms against my temples.

I wasn't sure I even wanted to hope. I had gotten so used to being thwarted that I had reverted to simply accepting that things were never going to change. But ever since meeting Dimitri and the others, I could feel that little glimmer of hope, the one that I desperately tried to hide, working its way out again. These people had showed a whole new world, maybe they could show me a whole new possibility.

"Open your mind." She smiled gently before closing her eyes.

I mimicked her action, trying to do as she said and relax. I had yet to really attempt to get into Lissa's head since coming to Court. In fact, I've actively been trying NOT to. It felt like a complete violation of her privacy for one, and second, it was honestly just uncomfortable. Every time I had slipped into Lissa's mind on accident over the years, it had felt like an out of body experience. I felt like I wasn't in control and there had been a few times where it had been almost terrifying because I wasn't able to get back out and into my own head. I could even vaguely remember hearing her voice in my mind during those early weeks, calling out to me even though I didn't understand. It was terrifying, and I was afraid I might have been going crazy. Hearing disembodied voices rarely ever means something good. Over the years, it seemed like I had unintentionally built up a wall of sorts to keep us separated. Breaking that same wall down willingly made me nervous.

My faith was rewarded though. I could recognize something come over me. I don't know how to describe it except for warmth, light, and everything good. I could practically feel a tingling in my fingers and toes, and a sense of peace washed over my mind. Suddenly, hope didn't seem like such a bad concept anymore.

After only a moment or so, she let me go, and the sudden absence of Spirit or magic or whatever she had done was almost painful. It had been less than thirty seconds and I was already craving it.

When I opened my eyes, Lissa still had a look of blissful contentment on her face. She gave a deep sigh before acknowledging me. "Anything?"

Suddenly remembering the whole point of this exercise was the attempt to get my memories and not reveling in the feeling of Spirit, I retreated into my mind again. I searched for anything. A memory of my mother, of school, of Lissa and her family, of Dimitri...nothing. There was nothing.

I couldn't even look at her as I shook my head. I didn't blame her. Really, I didn't. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't heal me, no more than it was my fault that I couldn't remember in the first place. Still, I felt a faint sense of anger. Perhaps it was directed at fate or whatever higher power was up there. Either way, I had learned long ago that it was no use dwelling on this particular issue because it wouldn't get me anywhere, so after allowing myself another ten seconds or so of wallowing, I forced a smile on my face.

"Don't worry, Liss. You said it was a long shot anyways. I think it might be time to start on that Vodka now though."

The night ended up being easier than I ever thought possible and I found myself forgetting the difficulties of the day. Honestly, the difficulties of the entire week seem to disappear, at least for the moment. We ended up falling asleep curled around one another while the episodes blurred together, and the last thing I remembered was a dark figure sneaking into the room and flipping off the television off.

BREAK

Lissa and I were singing along in the back seat of the car together the next morning, laughing like best friends do. I could see the morning light over the hill, making the road glisten from the overnight rainfall. I felt free, younger than I had in years.

I looked to the front, expecting to see the familiar face of Dimitri or Eddie behind the wheel, but instead saw a tall man with blonde hair, jade green eyes, and a warm smile that made me feel safe and secure. I didn't recognize the man, but I recognized the title. Dad.

But not my dad. Whose dad? Before I could work out the mystery, something behind him caught my attention.

It was a blur of light, heading straight for us. The low blare of the semi's horn made everyone turn and all at once time seemed to stop. No, not stop, but slow down to the point where every second felt like an hour, but I was still powerless to change the fate. The car shifted, spinning away from the oncoming headlights and a sense of weightlessness overcame me as we began to flip off the road and towards the blur of trees.

I felt a form cover me in my seat, blocking my vision of our impending doom. I barely had time to recognize my protector as the same person I saw every morning in the mirror before a scream had me bolting up in the bed.

There was no way to tell if the screams that woke me was based in the dream or in reality, but they continued now as adrenalin pumped through my veins. Beside me, I could feel a body twisting side to side as Lissa remained trapped in her nightmare. No...memory. Our shared memory.

"Liss." I called, shaking her. "Liss, wake up."

She fought for a moment before her screams faded into whimpers and her thrashing into shaking sobs. "Oh God, Rose. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything. It's all my fault."

"No...no, Liss." I cradled her in my arms, protecting her now like I had so long ago. "It wasn't. I was there. I saw everything. It was an accident. It was all an accident. It's not your fault."

A creaking from near the doorway caught my attention, interrupting my gentle but methodical smoothing of her hair. Dimitri stood in the doorway, eyes flashing to every corner as he searched for threats before settling on the pair of us.

In an instant, the battle ready warrior softened as he realized that the enemy wasn't something he could defeat. His eyes showed sympathy, silently asking if there was anything he could do. I shook my head, cradling Lissa a little closer as her breath hiccupped in her throat. He nodded before retreating, offering us some privacy as I continued to catch my breath and comfort my best friend.

An hour later, Lissa was resting peacefully in my bed and I was reliving the horrifying moments leading up to my apparent death over and over again. Even though it was technically a memory, for me, it was the first time I had ever lived it and I couldn't get my adrenalin to settle.

With an excess of energy and no place to relieve it, I sprang up from the bed and threw open the door. Maybe a glass of water would relieve my nerves. If nothing else, it would help relieve some of the sting from tonight's drinking session.

I had expected to see the hallway empty, so the large form near the foyer made me jump before I recognized the silhouette.

"Are you okay Rose?" Even though I knew somewhere in my mind that the six-some shadow could only belong to Dimitri, his heavily accented voice was a welcomed confirmation.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just startled me."

"My apologies. I heard the commotion earlier. Is Vasilisa alright?"

I nodded, trying to rub the sudden resurgence of visions of light and fire and blood. "Yeah. Just a nightmare."

"You're shaking..."

I hummed, noticing my unsteady hands for the first time. "It was the crash. I...I hadn't seen it before. I guess I'm still a bit shaken up. I was just going to get some water."

"Well, why don't you sit and I'll get you a glass." His concern grew and he had me seated at one of the island stools before I could protest. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't know what to say. The more I think about it, the worse I feel about it. At first, it was just a terrifying image but now I realize that I actually died, and that Lissa somehow brought me back, and then there's the guilt that she wasted that gift on me and not her brother or parents, and then...'

"Woah." Dimitri's hand covered mine, stopping my increasingly wild gesturing and somehow making the frantic thoughts in my mind settle. Now all I could think about was the fact that he was touching me. After a moment, when I finally stopped staring at our joined hands and back up at him, he continued. "First off, bringing you back was not a waste. I'd really appreciate it if you never let that thought cross your mind again." His little smile made my lips quirk automatically. "Second, I'm really sorry that you had to relive that. I'm glad you were there for Lissa when she needed you, but it's okay if you need someone too."

"I thought I was the one who was supposed to protect her." My cheeky reply was nothing more than a way of hiding in plain sight. There weren't many people I felt comfortable relying on, Marie being the primary candidate, but the only person I felt even remotely comfortable talking to here was standing right in front of me. However, since I had only met him a few days ago, I couldn't understand why I felt so safe around him and I didn't want to over step those bounds. Plus, while he makes me feel safe...he also could make me feel incredibly awkward...especially when he smiled like that.

"You have always protected Vasilisa, whether it was you job to or not, but that doesn't mean that there aren't people out there willing to protect you."

"Like who?"

"Like me."

If my heart hadn't been racing out of fear from earlier, it was certainly racing now. Unfortunately, as soon as he said it, he seemed to recognize the potential double meaning and pulled away.

"Anyways. I'll be up for another hour or so if you have trouble sleeping. Should we push off training tomorrow? I don't want you to be too tired -"

"No!" I winced, speaking louder than I had meant to. "I mean, no. I'm fine. I'll be fine. Besides, I think you owe me a rematch after Vegas."

His playful grin from earlier came back, just for a moment, before my body started giving into with a dramatic yawn. "Well, if you want to challenge me tomorrow morning, you should probably get some sleep. Goodnight Rose."

"Goodnight Dimitri." As I made my way back to my room, I knew there would be no more nightmares tonight.

Author's Note

I'm pretty sure this is the FIRST chapter that doesn't include a DPOV. I almost don't know what to do with myself. Of course, I couldn't leave him out completely. And yes...the next chapter will include some training :)

It must be absolutely terrifying to see something so traumatic as a car crash only to realize that it is something that actually happened, and not only that, but it also technically killed you. Could you imagine? I know it would shake me up quite a bit. Out of curiosity, what is the most terrifying/shocking thing that has happened to you? Personally, I've looked down the barrel of a loaded gun being pointed at me.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! Love you guys!