First and foremost: Please be aware that this story is now rated "M". Read at your own discretion.

~ROSE~

I felt as much as heard the whispered words against my cheek, drawing me out of sleep even though I didn't understand them. I didn't recognize where I was when I first opened my eyes, but the crisp scent of aftershave was familiar enough to remind me.

"Dimitri?"

The barely audible footsteps stopped, and I looked towards where they had ended. Dimitri looked exhausted, his hand on the door knob and still fully dressed in his uniform. Or almost fully dressed. His jacket and tie were missing.

He looked surprised to see me awake, and by the stiffness in my body when I sat up, I could tell it was late and I had probably been asleep for a while. He must have just gotten home from the banquet.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." The last part of my sentence was lost in a yawn, making him smile.

"Go back to sleep, it's late." He turned as if to leave again and I realized that he intended to let me continue to sleep in his bed.

"I can go back to my room," I insisted, "this is your bed. I have no business taking it from you when I have a perfectly good one close by."

He didn't protest, and I would bet that while he didn't want to put me out, he would much rather sleep in his own bed than on the couch where I expect he was heading before I woke up. "At least let me help you to your room then."

I lifted the quilt that I didn't remember covering myself with and realized that I was still in the dress I had been wearing earlier. I must have been more tired than I thought if I had managed to fall asleep in this.

Dimitri stood next to me, holding out his hand to help me up, but the sight of my journal on the bedside table made me stop.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what?"

I looked at him pointedly. He knew what I was talking about. "Don't give me that. Why didn't you tell me about what happened between us at the academy?"

He sat down on the bed beside me with a sigh. "Honestly? I didn't know how to. When I found out that you couldn't remember anything, it seemed wrong to spring something like that on you. Between learning about who you were, what you are, everything and everyone you left behind, telling you about what had happened back then between you and I seemed...inappropriate. I didn't want to put any more pressure on you. You had enough to deal with."

"I see." He seemed to understand me and what I needed better than I even knew myself. I gave a halfhearted laugh as I continued, "I guess I should thank you for thinking of me like that. Everyone has been expecting so much from me, even unintentionally, it's nice to know that you were more worried about making me feel comfortable rather than forcing me to be someone I don't remember."

He seemed to relax a bit at my comment, like he had been worried that I would be upset at him. I guess I could understand why. I had been a bit peeved at first that he had kept something like this from me, especially since it seemed to be a fairly significant part of my past before I had forgotten everything. But as I read on, especially towards the end, I realized that perhaps part of the reason he never said anything was because as significant as my feelings for him must have been, neither of us really thought anything could come from it. We were both dedicated to a cause that would keep us apart. Or, we had been. I quickly remembered the last thing I had read before my journal suddenly ended, the night before we had left for the lodge.

"What happened to Tasha?"

He seemed confused by my question, or perhaps just shocked at what I had asked.

"Sorry. The journal ended fairly suddenly and I was just curious. Did you take her offer? Actually, you know what? It's none of my business. Forget that I said anything. I'm sorry." I was rambling, an unfortunate habit of mine when I was embarrassed or tired. At the moment, I was two for two.

"No."

The single word interrupted my thoughts, but not nearly as much as his warm hand covering mine. "Huh?"

"No. Nothing ever happened between Tasha and me."

"But why? In here, it sounded like it was a great opportunity for you. I made it sound like she could give you everything you wanted, including a family."

"She had a lot to offer, but she couldn't give me everything. Specifically, she couldn't give me the one thing that I truly wanted."

I bit my lip, trying to figure out what she didn't have that he could still want. It must have been something big for him to give up everything else.

"You, Roza. She would never be you. It took me a little while to come to terms with it, but none of that mattered if you weren't the one I was sharing it with." He flipped my hand in his so that it was now face up with his thumb stroking my palm. "I know this goes against everything I said earlier about not pressuring you, and I don't want you to think that I expect anything from it, but you should know the truth. I loved you Roza. I still do. I never stopped loving you."

Even after reading my entire history with him – minus a few days before I disappeared – I could honestly say that this was the last thing that I expected. Not once in my journal did I mention that Dimitri had loved me. I knew he cared for me, that he found me beautiful, even that he wanted to protect me. But never once did I say that he loved me. My guess was that he had never told me either. Dimitri had apparently never been one to voice his feelings, and the few times that he did were often said in a moment of desperation and then quickly followed by a lecture about how it didn't matter and that we couldn't be together. Even now, I was somewhat waiting for him to start in about how wrong a relationship would be between us.

He never did. He waited patiently for me to say something.

I knew how I had felt back then. While I had never used the term, I had been pretty sure that I was falling in love with him. I had never told him so outright, but I had written enough about how big of an impact he had on my life, it was easy to guess that it was true.

I thought about how odd I had felt after seeing him in one of my daydreams. No, not daydreams, when I had been pulled into Lissa's mind. I had always thought about him afterwards, and I could even count a few times where I felt a kind of longing to know more about him, to see him again. I could understand now why I had never reacted to him during the actual vision, but it made sense why his presence always stayed with me after they were over.

I thought about the way I felt with him now. I was safe with him. I felt cared for, protected. I felt respected and wanted. I felt wanted. I felt...loved.

"I think...maybe..." I started, fumbling over the words that I was still somewhat uncertain about. "I think I never stopped loving you either."

I didn't have a chance to explain myself further before a look of pure relief flushed across his features. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. My words also seemed to ignite something in him too. His free hand moved from the bedspread to my cheek, tilting my chin so that he could see me better, as if he was checking to see the truth of what I said in my eyes. Apparently satisfied that I wasn't lying to him, he leaned forward and his intent was clear. He hesitated, just long enough for me to stop him if I wanted to.

I didn't.

His lips felt warm and comfortable, almost familiar. I had to remind myself that they were probably familiar to me somewhere in my mind. This wasn't the first kiss between us, but it was the first one that I remembered. He was gentle, not pushing me towards anything like some guys had tried to before. However, for the first time, I actually felt the desire to see what else this could lead to.

In my head, it made no sense. I had dated a few men before, and while those short relationships had never really gone anywhere, I had certainly known them longer than a few weeks. I guess technically, I had also known Dimitri longer than that, but I didn't remember it. Did it still count? At the moment, I really couldn't care less.

My hands somehow found their way to him, running along the length of his forearm and bicep before coming to rest on his shoulders. I could feel the tips of his hair tickle against my skin, but it was only one in an alarming amount of sensations that were starting to overwhelm me.

I deepened the kiss, trying to ground myself and deciding that he was as solid and constant as anything else in my life. He didn't seem to object, and I soon felt him pressing closer to me and gathering me in his arms. His hand on my hip sent a shock through me, and I let out a small gasp.

He pulled away slightly, but even the brief separation was too much for me and I urged him back towards me. I had no doubt that he could pull away if he truly wanted to, but the groan he released as our tongues met made me think that he was enjoying this at least as much as I was.

Testing my theory, I started leaning back, almost expecting him to break away again. Instead, he followed me, using his arms to cradle my fall against the pillow before positioning himself above me.

I had seen him smile at me several times up until this point, but the look he gave me now blew everything else out of the water. It was as if he had always held something back before, because now his smile reached his eyes, and he looked at me with a something that I can only describe as reverence. The same way someone might stare in wonder at a miracle.

It made me feel special, like I belonged.

"Rose," he whispered. "My Roza."

His lips were on my jaw then, slowly working their way up before nipping my earlobe and earning a quick and completely unintentional thrust of my hips into his. He chuckled – yes, chuckled – at my reaction and did it once more before maneuvering his kisses down my neck and onto the collarbone left bare by my neckline. I suddenly felt confined by the dress I was wearing, ready to shed it and allow him total freedom to roam my entire body at his will.

I also felt the sudden desire to explore him in the same way. My fingers fumbled with his buttons, taking him by surprise. He didn't stop me though, just the opposite in fact. He helped, nimbly working the offending buttons, unfortunately popping the last one off completely when his impatience won over his self-control.

I wondered for a moment if my dress would also be sacrificed in our frantic goal, but he surprised me by standing and offering his hand to me. I took it, more out of curiosity than anything else, and he stunned me by turning me in a little spin, as if I was dancing with him. I ended facing away from him, his arm holding mine across my chest. His other hand held my hip, pressing me flush against him. I was pressed tight enough to him to feel everything.

"I can dance when the mood strikes me," he whispered, his thickly accented voice low enough to vibrate in my ear, "and if I have the right partner."

My head fell back against his shoulder and I swear that he was the only thing keeping me standing in that second. It ended quickly though as his hand released mine, trailing gently across the tops of my breasts before brushing the loose hair to one side. I felt his lips press against the hollow between my neck and my shoulder and his fingertips grazed the button clasp that closed the top of my dress.

When he paused again, I turned my head just enough to see him behind me. He almost looked ...nervous. He had seemed so confident since the day I met him, or rather, re-met him, and it was almost cute to see him a little shaken by me.

His eyes flicked away from the clasp of my dress, meeting my own in a silent question. I smiled, and a moment later the button released and he moved the material off my shoulders, kissing the skin he uncovered. His hands moved to the bottom of the exposed back, unzipping the final few inches that would allow me to fully undress for him, and I tried – and failed – to hold back a giggle when he tried to slyly graze his hand against my ass.

When he stepped away from me, I was worried that my unintentional laugh might have made him change his mind. I looked over my shoulder again, only to see him staring at me, waiting for something. I could feel the heat in his eyes on my skin and it made his desires clear.

I slipped my arms from the sleeves, letting the dress fall in a puddle at my feet. I knew the thin white lace of my boyshort panties wouldn't leave much to the imagination, but my dress hadn't really allowed for a proper bra and I was now topless. I held my arms in front of my chest protecting the last bit of my modesty as I turned to face him.

The look on his face was my new definition of shock and awe. I wasn't even sure if he was breathing. I bit at my bottom lip, hoping it would be enough to hold back another laugh. There was no hope for keeping my smile away.

His eyes slowly took in every inch of me. Unlike the creepy, almost possessive look that I was used to from some club patrons, his stare made me feel powerful. Like a goddess, almost. He looked ready to kneel before me in worship.

I had hardly let the thought pass through my mind when he sank to his knees. I automatically stepped back in surprise, and he gingerly picked up my dress and laid it carefully over his jacket on the chair behind him. It was such an oddly considerate gesture at a time like this, that I didn't notice that I had dropped my hands.

He noticed. The moment he turned back around, he let out a breathless whisper. It was so soft, I could barely hear it. I wasn't even sure if it was in English. It didn't matter. What did matter was that his lips were on mine again before I could take another breath.

Rather than the soft, almost shy kiss from before, this one was full of some desperate need. It was as if he was afraid I would suddenly disappear again. For all I knew, he was afraid of just that. Perhaps stranger still was that I felt the same sort of need towards him. He had spent years loving me, but I didn't even know him until a few weeks ago. I shouldn't want him this much, need him this much. But I guess I had always had in a strange sort of way, from the first time I had apparently met him on the streets of Portland. I just never remembered it.

I felt the sensation of spinning and falling, and I realized Dimitri had pulled us back onto the bed with me laying on top of his chest. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine and the gentle flex of his muscles underneath me. There was such a strange contradiction about him. He was incredibly strong, a trained and proven killer, but you would never know it by the way he held me now. The same way you would never expect someone so tall and imposing to have the grace of a dancer when he moved.

I guess someone would call me just as clashing. Apparently I was a trained and proven killer as well, tutored by the demigod beneath me. But my strength was hidden beneath long hair and a pretty smile. I was often underestimated because most people thought the most dangerous thing about me was my curves. Nobody would underestimate Dimitri. He looked as lethal as he actually was. It made me realize that seeing him like this, affectionate and completely open, was probably something that few had ever really seen.

Never one to allow debt to go unpaid, I wanted to share with him something just as personal and special. I sat up, straddling his legs and getting an incredible view of the half-naked man. I smirked, thinking that there was still a bit more clothing on him than necessary. I ran my hands down his abs, causing a strangled breath from him before I unbuttoned his slacks. I could see him silently struggling to maintain his control as I teased him, so I continued to play with him by slowly undoing his zipper. He seemed to be holding on until I pressed my palm against the obvious budge beneath the cloth.

He let out a low groan, perhaps more of a growl than anything, and flipped me over to pin me beneath him as easily as he did on the practice mats. Not that I put up a fight. His pants and whatever was beneath was quickly removed and he didn't waste any time getting back at me for my playful tormenting earlier.

His cupped one of my breasts, gently squeezing as his thumb flicked my bare nipple. It caused an instant reaction from me. My back arched and into his touch, wordlessly begging for more. He didn't disappoint. His mouth showed just as much attention to the other breast, using his tongue to swirl around the peak or gently nipping at me with his teeth.

It felt amazing. I'm sure there had to be a more inspiring word, but at that moment, my mind was incapable of thinking it. My fingers ran through his hair and held in in place where I wanted him, but it didn't last long when his lips traced a path of kisses from my heart, up my neck, and to my mouth.

"Roza." His accent was much more pronounced now. "This feels amazing but..." he kissed my left eye, "...we don't have to..." they moved over to my right eye and paused again, "...I don't want to pressure you..." his nose brushed mine as he offered a gentle peck against my lips "...Maybe we should..."

I pulled back from him just enough to see his eyes, much darker now than they had been a few hours – hell, a few minutes – ago. "Dimitri, shhh. I want to. I want you."

This seemed to be enough to satisfy him. His lips were on my throat once more as his hand snaked between us. His fingertips gently brushed between my thighs and my head fell back in ecstasy. It was a momentary touch but I knew I needed him there again immediately. Perhaps he understood that need because his fingers were tracing my folds a second later. The initial friction of his fingers faded into a smooth bliss as he spread my own wetness through each crevices.

When I felt him brush against my apex, the sensation overwhelmed me and I bit down to keep from crying out. It wasn't enough to draw blood, but there would probably be a mark on Dimitri's shoulder for the rest of the night. It did nothing to dissuade him though. If anything, he became more eager in his ministrations, bringing me nearly to the edge of the cliff with nothing more than his right hand.

"Please, Dimitri." The man had me begging for sweet relief.

He pulled out of my embrace, slowing my rapid crash course towards completion and causing me to shoot him a little pout for it. He smiled.

"Anything...everything...for you."

My heart melted with his promise. True to his word, he sat back, widening the space between my legs and settling himself there. I could feel him pressed against my center, and my heart raced in anticipation. There was a bit of nervousness there too, but it couldn't be overshadowed by my need for him. That need was reflected in his eyes.

Despite the passion racing between us, Dimitri paused just to stare at me. He had a look of pure love in his smile as he brushed his hand against my cheek. I turned to kiss his palm, unwilling to lose any opportunity to have my lips pressed against his skin. He indulged my need by lowering his lips to mine, and in the midst of his kiss I felt him press into me.

There was a small pinch of pain and even though it wasn't much, there must have been some sort of reaction that he was able to pick up on because he broke his mouth from mine sharply, making me miss it immediately.

"Roza," his voice was husky, but still concerned, "you're...why didn't you tell me?"

I laughed, I didn't mean to, but my mind wasn't completely my own at this moment. "Honestly, I wasn't totally sure myself. Not until I read the journal. Does it matter?"

"No...yes...I mean..." It was somewhat endearing so see him so flustered. "I knew you were...before... but I just assumed that... I don't know..."

"That I wouldn't be 20 and still a virgin?"

He seemed taken aback by my bluntness but gave into the truth. "Is that horrible? You mentioned boyfriends in your past, I guess I figured that you would have gotten close to them."

"You had no reason to assume I was a virgin, Dimitri. Don't worry about it. I had boyfriends before, but none of those relationships were very deep. Nothing worth more than the occasional kiss."

I was trying to reassure him, but my words seemed to set him more on edge. "Why me?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest." I knew it wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but I didn't want to lie to him. "All I know is that right now, I want to be with you." To emphasize my point, I raised my hips and causing him to trust gently into me. Any passion lost to our brief conversation swelled again within seconds.

Dimitri let out a low growl and tucked his head into my collarbone, peppering kisses up and down my throat and occasionally giving a small bite that made me squirm underneath him. His rhythmic rocking created a background of creaking springs to accompany the soft moans from me and his own deep groans.

My hands ran through his hair, fisting it to hold him close when his lips found a particularly sensitive spot behind my earlobe. I could feel the smile on his lips as he explored my body with his hands, mouth, and more.

I was completely lost in the moment, begging for climax yet wishing the experience could last forever. I was clueless as to how much time had passed. Time was no longer made up in seconds, minutes, or hours, but in kisses, touches, and sighs. There were a whole lot of all three, to be sure.

Finally, when I was sure that the sun had set on eternity, I felt our steady rhythm change. My heart beat faster as Dimitri's thrust became ever so slightly frantic. His previously controlled breaths started turning into warm pants against my skin. My own moans, once low and sensual, were now rising in pitch and intensity as I succumbed to him.

All it took was a single phrase from him for me to fall completely off the edge. Three words, spoken not like a command, but a plea.

"Roza. Come with me."

My body suddenly was made of energy, pulsing in time with our heartbeats. Lights seemed to dance in front of my eyes and my uncontrolled final cry was captured by his mouth over mine. His own release seemed to sooth my fire, bringing me gently down from my powerful high.

We clutched one another, allowing our breathing to slowly return to normal as our bodies recovered. My face was buried in his strong chest while his lips planted small kisses in my hair. Finally, he looked down and met my eyes. There was something there, something that I couldn't recognize, but the intensity of it was enough to cause butterflies to flutter in my stomach. It was soft and sweet, but it also scared me in a way that I had never experienced.

Without a word, he shifted off me and the bed entirely. I was too tired to even protest his sudden absence. I watched him walk through the door of his ensuite bathroom and closed my eyes. I could hear the sound of running water. I could smell the musky scent of what had just happened between us. I could even feel the cool air blowing against the thin layer of sweat that seemed to be covering my entire body. Overall, I felt a sense of calm and peace. For one second, in a lifetime of events that I could and couldn't remember, I felt like everything was perfectly right in my world.

"Here." His voice was still rich and low and I peeked through my eyelashes to see him standing next to me with a small white washcloth.

I gave a small nod, expecting him to hand it to me, but instead he surprised me and gently reached down to clean me himself. The warm cloth felt a bit rough against my tender flesh. When he pulled it away, I saw a slight tinge of pink.

"There's a little blood," he stated, concern lacing his words. "Does it hurt?"

"A bit sore," I confided, "but no more than any other work out you've given me recently."

He looked at me, raising a single eyebrow and I winked, earning small but precious laugh. I was learning rather quickly that he didn't do so often, so I treasured the sound each time I heard it.

Dimitri tossed the used cloth back into a small hamper and pulled a pair of fresh boxers from his dresser. I watched unabashedly as he slipped them on before pulling out a tee shirt. He raised it in my direction like an offering. "Would you like something?"

I shook my head side to side. "Nope. Too tired."

Another full grin graced his features, much to my delight. The shirt remained on top of his dresser as he settled on the other side of the bed, pulling me close before covering us with the same quilt that I had been sleeping under earlier. I felt him tracing idle patterns against my skin, lulling my into what promised to be sweet dreams, when he whispered in my ear.

"I missed you, Roza."

And like that, everything came crashing down.

Author's Note

And so it is written...my very first sex scene! Or "intimate moment" if you prefer. I think Dimitri and Rose needed something sweet and passionate rather than super hot and heavy. Either way, this was a HUGE step for me because I'm pretty conservative when it comes to this stuff. I couldn't even READ sexy scenes until a few years ago, so actually writing and publishing one? Inconceivable.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't...please be nice. If you did, please let me know in the comments. You guys are absolutely amazing and I appreciate all your love and encouragement. Favorite, follow, review and share! Thank you so much and I'll see you next week!