REVELATIONS, RANKINGS AND REVENGE

TRIS POV

I walk into the dormitory after saying good bye to my mum. I didn't realise just how much I had missed her. I think having Tobias and Suzy here with me has helped me. I love being in Dauntless and I know I don't belong in Abnegation. But with trying to get through initiation and knowing what is coming from Erudite it has been so stressful and I think seeing mum just makes the day a lot more emotional than I would usually let it be.

Suzy has walked into the dormitory with me and has decided to go and have a shower. I walk over to the bunks and I see Al sitting on his bed.

"There you are!" I say. "Your parents were looking for you. Did they find you?"

He shakes his head.

"You didn't want to see them?" I ask as I sit next to him on the bed.

"Didn't want them to ask how I was doing," he says. "I'd have to tell them, and they would know if I was lying."

"Well . . ." I don't really know what to say, he is failing and we can all see it. "What's wrong with how you're doing?" Great Tris, what a stupid thing to say I think to myself.

Al laughs harshly. "I've lost every fight since the one with Will. I'm not doing well."

"By choice, though. Couldn't you tell them that, too?"

He shakes his head. "Dad always wanted me to come here. I mean, they said they wanted me to stay in Candor, but that's only because that's what they're supposed to say. They've always admired the Dauntless, both of them. They wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it to them."

"Oh," I say. "Is that why you chose Dauntless? Because of your parents?"

Al shakes his head. "No. I guess it was because . . . I think it's important to protect people. To stand up for people. Like you did for me." He smiles at me. "That's what the Dauntless are supposed to do, right? That's what courage is. Not . . . hurting people for no reason."

"Maybe it will be better once initiation is over."

"Too bad I might come in last," Al says. "I guess we'll see tonight."

I just sit here with him. I don't really know what else to say. I feel sorry for Al but I also know that if he really wants to be Dauntless then he is going to have to step up.

"I feel braver when I'm around you, you know," he says. "Like I could actually fit in her, the same way you do."

I am about to respond when he slides his arm across my shoulders. Suddenly I freeze my cheeks hot.

I didn't want to be right about Al's feelings for me. But here I am feeling very uncomfortable. I do not lean into him. Instead I sit forward so his arm falls away. Then I squeeze my hands together in my lap. If only I didn't have to keep Tobias and I a secret. Al would never have tried this if he had known.

"Tris, I . . . " he says. His voice is strained. I glance at him. His face is as red as mine feels, but he's not crying—he just looks embarrassed.

"Um . . . sorry," he says. "I wasn't trying to . . . um. Sorry."

I wish I could tell him not to take it personally, that I already have a boyfriend. But that isn't even the point. Al is not someone I would want to date even if I was single. He is too soft; I need someone who can fight for what they believe in. I need Tobias.

Suzy walks out of the bathroom and I don't think I've ever been happier to see anyone in my life.

"Tris I think I would like to get a tattoo. Would you come with me?" she says.

"Yeah, I would love to be there when you get your first tattoo," I say. "Al do you want to join us?" I ask, hoping he will say no. It has been awkward enough.

I leap of the bed quickly and link my arm with Suzy's.

"I think I will stay here," Al says.

I nod my head and start to walk out the door with Suzy. Once we are out the door Suzy starts to laugh.

"What?"

"I was coming out of the bathroom and I saw what was happening. I was starting to feel as red as you had gone. I felt so embarrassed for Al," she says. "So I thought I would come in and give you an excuse to leave."

"So you don't really want a tattoo?"

"Not yet. I just kept thinking if Four saw him doing that he would probably kill him," she says. She is still laughing.

"Please don't laugh Suzy, it was so embarrassing. I didn't know what to say. I'm not completely comfortable with that sought of attention from someone."

"But you are with Four," she says.

"That's different. I love him. Plus I have known him for years. He knows me. I don't think I could imagine being with anyone else, ever," I say.

SUZY POV

I am sitting in the dining hall with Tris, Christina, Will and Al. We are waiting for the announcement of our rankings. I don't think Tris and I have anything to worry about. We have one most of our fights. The last fight between Molly and Tris had been brutal.

Once she told me what Molly, Peter and Drew had done to her in the dormitory I could understand why she didn't stop beating Molly until Four grabbed her. I think I would have just died from shame if someone had seen me naked like that. But not Tris, she got her revenge.

Christina and Will are discussing the aptitude test. I don't want to talk to them about my test results. They will probably think I am a coward for transferring to Dauntless like I did. But it is different now that I am here. I am a different person to the one that left Abnegation.

I am loving my life here. I am relieved that I don't have to fight anymore. That was such a hard thing to do. I would never have imagined that I would ever be able to do that. But it has been great therapy; I just kept imagining that the person I was fighting was Caleb. I think that really helped me to win my fights and it also helped me to get my feelings for Caleb out of my system.

So now I don't want to have to admit why I chose Dauntless because it isn't the reason that I want to stay in Dauntless. Before I have to answer Christina a hush has come over the dining hall. There is only one person I know who could elicit that reaction from the members of Dauntless every time they walk into a room. It means that Eric has arrived.

I look over towards the door and see that Eric has walked into the room with Four and Max. I seem to have started getting butterflies in my stomach whenever I see Eric. I wish that the people in this room could see him the same way I do. I understand why people are so scared of him. I hope that once this thing with Erudite is over that he can start acting more human to others. Otherwise it won't matter how I am feeling towards him. I couldn't be with someone who seems so cruel and sadistic. Because I would always be afraid that he could be like that to me.

Four and I have spoken about Eric. He was honest with me about the way Eric acts but he also told me of the changes he had seen from him over the last few weeks. Only time will tell when it comes to Eric and for now I need to concentrate on passing initiation. Because I don't think I could survive being factionless.

Max has stood on one of the tables and he has Four and Eric on either side of him. Standing next to Four is Lauren, she has been training the Dauntless-born initiates. I reach over and I grab Tris's hand. I am so nervous. I know we have done well but I can't help the nerves that have crept in. Max is saying something about how our rankings were decided. I can't listen I am too nervous. Just show us the results my brain is screaming.

"We will be announcing the cuts tomorrow," Max says. "Four of you will be leaving us. Here are the rankings."

We all look up to see Four and Lauren have turned the boards I hadn't even noticed them holding around. I scan the board quickly and once I see my name I let out a sigh of relief. Tris and I are safe. The rankings look like this:

1. Edward

2. Peter

3. Will

4. Tris

5. Suzy

6. Molly

7. Christina

8. Drew

9. Al

10. Myra

I then look at the board with the rankings for the Dauntless-born. I have no idea who they are but I do hear a lot of cheering coming from a table across from us.

"Okay, okay," Max says. "Now I have one more important announcement to make. It seems I have finally been able to wear him down. I was starting to think it would never happen. But finally Four has agreed to become one of our leaders here in Dauntless. So effective immediately I would like to welcome Four to Dauntless leadership."

It looked like Max wanted to say more but the cheers, the stomping of everyone's feet and the clanging of cups on the table has stopped that. I didn't realise just how popular Four was or that this decision would get this type of reaction.

I look up to Eric and I see him looking at Four, he actually looks like he is happy with this. I thought he would have been at least a little jealous. Everyone knows that Eric isn't popular and by the reaction of Dauntless they are extremely happy with Four's decision. So I am glad that I see that look in Eric's eye. Maybe there is a chance he has changed. Maybe there is a chance for us.

I go to bed feeling lighter than I have felt since just before the Aptitude Test. Stage one is complete and if I can just get through stages two and three then I will be able to become a full Dauntless member. I would not have ever thought such things a few weeks ago.

I am woken from my slumber with a blood curdling scream. I instantly jump up to see the room is completely dark. I hear someone shout, "Turn on the lights!"

The lights come on and I scan the room to see what is happening. There are now more screams happening. Tris has jumped out of bed and I look to see where she is going. Then I see it. A scene that is going to haunt my vision for days to come. Edward is lying on the floor wailing and moving around with blood pooling around his head.

Edward is clutching at his face and I see metal sticking out from his eye. What is that? I think to myself as I move closer. It looks like a butter knife, the ones that we use in the dining hall. Who would do such a thing? I look around the room and Peter and Drew are missing. What would make someone do something like this? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that Peter is involved. But I am.

The Abnegation has come out in Tris. She is kneeling next to Edward and trying to keep him calm. I don't know if I could do what she is doing right now. I have never seen such a sight. I have worked with the factionless for years and we see some pretty gross things, especially when they don't have access to clean running water in some of the areas that they live. But this, this is on a whole new level for me.

I watch amazed that Tris has been able to keep Edward from pulling the knife from his eye. I nurse comes into the room and asks Tris to step back. Tris is covered in blood. Her hands and knees are soaked. I walk over and guide her to the bathrooms and I ask Christina to get her some clothes.

I stay in there with my back turned until she finishes. I don't say anything. What could any of us say anyway? We walk out of the bathroom and I watch as Tris goes and gets as many paper towels as she can and she starts to clean the blood from the floor. I don't think I just go and do the same and help Tris.

There are bloody foot prints from Tris walking to the shower and from the nurse and whoever followed her and Edward out of the room. I start on these as Tris and Christina seem to have the pool of blood under control.

I look up at my cleaning to see Eric and Four standing in the door way. They seem relieved to see us. "Are you all alright?" Four asks.

We all just nod. I have just finished cleaning all the foot prints off the floor. I walk over to the bin and put the paper towels into it. I walk out of the dorm and Eric follows.

"Are you sure you are okay Suzy?" Eric asks.

"It was horrible Eric. The screams, the smell, the look of Edward. I haven't seen anything like that before," I say.

Eric walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. At first I am startled and feel completely awkward. But the warmth of Eric's body and the feel of his arms around me are the most soothing thing I could want right now. I can't help but wrap my arms around his waist and lean my head on his chest. I can feel his heart beat and it sounds like mine, like it will beat right out of his chest at any moment.

"I was so worried when I heard," he says in barely a whisper. "I am so relieved that it wasn't you that got hurt."

I can't help it, the tears start to fall from my eyes and I feel I have no control over them.

"Hey, please don't cry," Eric says.

"I know it's stupid but I can't seem to stop them," I say.

"It is just the shock," he says.

"You need to try and get some rest Suzy. At least you have a few days off now." Eric lets go of me and leads me into the dormitory. Four is sitting talking to Tris and Christina. He is sitting as close as he can to Tris without giving anything away about their relationship. I go and sit next to Christina and she puts an arm around my shoulder.

I feel that I have missed out on so much. Living in Abnegation we weren't allowed to touch, even holding hands was not supposed to happen in public until you were married. I think about these rules now and I am so glad that I am here and my friends can show me some affection. I really needed it tonight and it makes me feel that I was cheated out of something special in the past.

I am starting to realise that while there are some parts of being selfless that are a good thing there are so many other rules that we had to follow that go against our human nature. We need the touch of others. We need to be able to talk openly with our friends. We shouldn't have to deflect and take the attention from ourselves. I think if I had stayed in Abnegation I would have eventually had to snap. Dauntless is teaching me not just how to fight and protect myself. It is giving me the chance to be the person I have always wanted to be, it is giving me hope for the future. I have choices now, choices I would never have been given in Abnegation. And while I might not always make the right choice, I will strive to be a better person.