~ROSE~

I delayed the inevitable as long as I could. I took a long shower, blew out my hair and curled the ends, and even added a rare dusting of make-up. Anything to keep me in my room for as long as possible. Eventually though, I ran out of excuses and the need to eat something trumped my total fear of facing Dimitri and the others.

I walked slowly down the stairs, forgetting the final creaky one and announcing my presence with a loud wooden squeak. I winced as three sets of eyes landed on me.

"I see you took your time this morning," smiled Lissa. There was no accusation in her voice, no question, and it took me a moment to realize that she had no idea what had happened.

Christian also seemed oblivious as he flipped pancakes and set a stack at one of the open seats. "Saved you some. There's some butter and syrup on the table."

I wondered (and then quickly stopped wondering) about Dimitri's claim about his pancakes being better than Christian's as I sat in front of my plate. "Got any peanut butter?"

"You and Dimitri sure are an odd couple..."

I jumped at the accusation and whipped my head over at Christian.

He was shaking his head and laughing as he pulled a red lidded jar from the pantry. "He likes his pancakes with jam, and you like peanut butter. Seriously, can't you two just eat them like normal people?"

I was just beginning to relax, realizing that it was just an absent minded comment rather than an actual observation when another voice made me startle again. A deep, accented voice that could cut me to the soul.

"I told you many times Christian..."

I avoided looking at him as he entered from the hall. I couldn't stand to see how he would look at me. Instead, I focused on my slathering my pancakes in nutty goodness as if it was the most labor intensive thing in the world and demanded my total focus.

"It's how we eat them in Russia," Christian cut him off, mocking his accent and lowering his voice an octave or so before returning to his normal pitch. "I know, I know. Here's your jam, Belikov. I still don't know what Rose's excuse is."

"Thank you. And Rose doesn't need to explain herself. She's free to do whatever she wishes." The words were innocent enough, but one quick glance confirmed the hidden message to me. I went back to avoiding Dimitri's eyes as soon as he sat down across from me.

Dimitri and I both ate in silence, listening to the chatter from others around us. Perhaps the quiet act wasn't so unusual for Dimitri, but I knew someone would start questioning my sudden lack of conversation skills before too long.

Sure enough, as Lissa was going over final plans for the bachelorette party this afternoon, Eddie leaned over and whispered to me.

"Are you okay? You seemed...shaken...this morning."

"Yeah, I'm okay now. I'm sorry for shutting you out earlier."

"Don't worry, Dimitri told me that you had an interesting night. It makes sense that you might be thinking a few things over this morning. Just remember that I'm here if you need me." I felt his hand gently touch mine under the table. It wasn't a romantic gesture at all, just one of comfort and sympathy.

I wasn't sure what Dimitri had told him. It was equally as likely that he told him the truth or made up a plausible story to help us both save face. If I had to guess though, Eddie knew the truth. I had been nearly naked this morning, and it wouldn't have taken much to jump to the obvious conclusion.

"Thanks Eddie."

"So what are you boys going to do while Rose and I are at the spa with the other girls?"

"Well, I don't know about Belikov here, but Eddie has graciously offered to help me prepare a special surprise for the bride to be." I envied the look of complete and certain love as Christian look at Liss.

She wrinkled her nose in reply. "You still aren't going to give me any hints, are you?"

"Nope," Christian offered smugly, "You'll just have to wait until we get to the bridal suite tomorrow evening."

"It better be worth it, Lord Ozera."

"You know it, Princess Dragomir."

I looked towards Eddie and mimicked a gagging gesture as he over dramatically rolled his eyes back to me. The way those two lovebirds used their royal titles like pet names was almost sickeningly sweet.

"I'll also need to pick up my Aunt from the air strip tonight."

"I can get Tasha if you need me to."

My eyes involuntarily snapped towards Dimitri as he offered to pick up the woman I had read about last night. The woman who had offered so much to him and he had rejected. I wondered if he would reconsider her offer now.

"That would be great. You can bring her to the spa if she's up for it," Lissa suggested. "She won't be arriving in time to spend the whole evening with us, but she could probably fit in a manicure."

Great. It looked like this spa day was just getting less and less relaxing as the morning wore on. I wasn't quite finished with my late breakfast, but I was ready to go hit the track. "Excuse me, I think I'd like to get a run in before the party gets started."

Dimitri automatically stood as well. "I'll go with you."

"No!" Lissa and Christian looked at me with an odd expression at my abrupt rejection. Dimitri had been training with me every day for nearly a week now, and suddenly putting a stop to it must have seemed off. I calmed myself and tried to fix the situation. "I mean, no, but thank you. It looks like you've been out already and I think it would be nice to have some alone time this morning. You understand, right?"

A brief flash of disappointment flashed in Dimitri's eyes, but his face stayed otherwise neutral. "Yes, of course. Enjoy your run."

I was already making my way towards the stairs before Dimitri sat down again. I could hear Christian's voice as I was about half way up. "Is she okay? She's been acting strange all morning."

"Yeah. She'll be okay," Eddie reassured. "She's probably still shaken up from everything that happened last night."

"I still can't believe that man had the gall to try and take advantage of her." Lissa spoke with a fierce passion. "There has to be a way to put an end to instances like these. I know it won't happen overnight, but surely something can be done to change the general view of dhampirs, especially female dhampirs. There was no excuse for what happened."

I was out of earshot before hearing anyone else's reply.

– DIMITRI –

I had way too much time to think today. Typically, I didn't mind being lost in my own mind, but today it was pure torture. When I wasn't feeling guilty for how things currently stood between Rose and me, I was trying (and failing) to come up with some sort of way to repair any form of our relationship. At this point, I would settle for nearly anything better than the awkward near-strangers that tried not to make eye contact.

To top off everything, I would occasionally find myself remembering moments from last night. The way she said my name, the feel of her skin on my lips, the way she made me feel like I was finally the man that I was meant to be. I knew it was deplorable to be relishing those stolen moments when they obviously upset her, but I don't think I could bear to banish them from my mind, especially when I sincerely doubted I'd ever have the chance to make a new memory with her.

Eventually, I found myself at the Court air strip. Tasha's flight was a few minutes late, but I could already see it circling in for a landing. My hand automatically went to the back of my neck to work some of the growing tension there. It would be awkward to see Tasha again. Our friendship had severely crashed against the rocks when we had our argument over Rose's disappearance, but she deserved to be here for her nephew's wedding and I was willing to call a truce to our differences so she could enjoy it.

When she exited the plane, she was obviously surprised to see me waiting for her. "Dimitri? I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, Christian is working on something for Lissa, and Lissa is at her bachelorette party, so I thought I'd help out a little. I'm supposed to bring you to the spa to meet up with the rest of the women. If you're feeling up to it, that is."

She seemed to relax a little, perhaps noting my attempt at being civil. "A spa day sounds wonderful to be honest. Let's just drop off my bags and I can head over."

"I'll bring your bags to guest housing, don't worry. You're here to enjoy the weekend."

Tasha gave me a tight smile, one that showed just how much our easy going friendship had taken a turn for the worse, and threw her purse over her shoulder. I had already grabbed her luggage and she didn't try to protest. A few minutes into our incredibly quiet walk back, I figured I should say something.

"So," I stared awkwardly "just so you know, we found Rose."

Tasha stopped walking, falling behind me a few steps. "You found Rose? Where was she? Is she alright?" I wasn't sure what I was expecting from her, but it certainly wasn't to be so interested. However, she seemed nearly as excited as the rest of us were when we had brought Rose home.

"Yes, we found her a few weeks ago in Las Vegas. She's alright for the most part, but she suffered a psychological injury shortly after her escape and lost pretty much every memory she had. She didn't even know her own name, which is one reason why it was so difficult to locate her. She was going by Ivy."

"So she didn't remember anything? Not even Vasilisa?" Her eyes were wide open, almost disbelieving but with a heavy dose of pity for Rose as well.

"No. She thought the visions through the bond were vivid daydreams; a side effect of her injury. She didn't even realize that she was a dhampir. It was quite a shock to say the least. She's been adjusting well but..." I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"But..." of course Tasha would press me.

"But she's not staying. She's returning to Las Vegas after the wedding."

Suddenly the pity that Tasha had been reserving for Rose was turned on me. "Oh, Dimka. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Truly. It's probably best for her anyways." I was trying hard to keep my voice even but inside I wanted to scream, cry, and possibly hit something as well.

"Did you..." Tasha ventured, hesitating a moment before continuing, "Did you tell her about your past together?"

I nodded.

"And..."

"And it didn't matter. Honestly, I screwed it up. But, like I said earlier, it's better this way. She deserves better than this life." I was parroting the same words that she had told me years ago. "She deserves a life of freedom. That was limited as a guardian, but as an unpromised dhampir woman...it would be nearly impossible."

I felt Tasha's hand brush my arm. I automatically flinched, still somewhat expecting the incessant flirtation that had broken our friendship, but found only a comforting and sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri. Really, I am," She whispered. "I know that you cared for her greatly. I can see that you still love her. Trust me, I know how much something like this can hurt. But Rose has changed, for better or for worse, and she's not the same girl. That doesn't mean that she isn't still a wonderful person who deserves your love, but are you in love with your Roza who you lost...or have you fallen in love with this new woman?"

I looked at her baffled as her words washed over me. I didn't understand. Rose was Rose. She still had the same sarcastic humor, the same passionate dedication, and she even fought with the same moves that I had taught her myself. But Roza's words from that morning came back to me. She kept saying that she wasn't my Roza; she wasn't the girl I remember because she couldn't remember that girl.

As I dropped off Tasha and took her bags to the guest housing, I became more and more fixed upon the thought that Tasha had offered. I was so cautious about not pressuring Rose to pick up where we had left off in our relationship back at the Academy, it never really crossed my mind that she simply couldn't because she wasn't that person anymore. A person is made up of their life experiences. Are they the same person if they don't have the same experiences? If not...

I rubbed at my temple, trying to work out the headache that was forming behind my eyes. I couldn't even begin to understand where to go from here. Mine and Roza's relationship had never been conventional, but this was beyond anything I could have imagined.

~ROSE~

It had been a long time since I had been treated to a manicure or pedicure. I always ended up chipping the polish on my fingernails within a day or two so I stopped bothering with them all together. Lissa had insisted on doing gel nails for everyone, in a simple French manicure before the wedding, but since we were wearing closed toed shoes, I was free to paint my toes any crazy color I wished. My choice: bright orange. The fact that it seemed to clash with everything else around it felt somewhat poetic.

The final coat of polish was going on my toes when someone new entered the spa. I took a double take of the woman, nearly spitting out my champagne. I knew who it was in an instant. My journal had described her fairly well, but even that couldn't quite prepare me for the sudden sight of Natasha Ozera. The large purple scar ran a jagged line down her cheek, and while she was otherwise stunning with black hair and ice blue eyes that seemed to be an Ozera family trait, her scar was a fairly defining trait that was hard to overlook. Thankfully, it seemed like I was able to hide my sudden shock while Lissa greeted her warmly.

The pair seemed to have a good relationship, which was all well and good seeing how she was pretty much the only family between both Lissa and Christian. I knew how hard it was to not have a family and I didn't wish that on anyone. Even though I had recently learned about my barely there mother and absentee father, and could even say that I was trying (and honestly failing) to build a small relationship with them, I knew that I wouldn't trade that struggle for the empty feeling of being truly alone. A broken family is better than no family at all.

Eventually Tasha caught sight of me.

"Rose! Dimka mentioned that you were back. I'm so glad that you are well." Her sincere joy threw me for a loop. Even though my journal made it clear that I had admired Tasha for many reasons, I also saw her as my main competition for Dimitri's affections and resented her for it. Seeing how he had refused her even after I was out of the picture, I assumed that she would be a little bitter towards me as well.

"Thank you. It's been nice to be back." I tried to match her enthusiasm but between my confusion and the vague overstatement, I think it fell flat. If she noticed, she ignored it. I allowed her to embrace me quickly before Lissa encouraged her to get her nails done as well.

The two immediately started speaking about politics and I rolled my eyes. Dimitri had mentioned how Tasha had been integral to the building and passing the motion that allowed Moroi to learn to defend themselves with their magic. Christian now taught magical defense classes at Court, and Tasha was working towards the next logical step of using their magic offensively to help fight alongside their guardians. According to Dimitri, it was going to take a whole lot more effort to bring the Council around to the idea.

When my toes were finally dry, I took the seat at the table on the other side of Lissa and presented my nails to the man sitting across from me. It took me a moment to realize just how attractive he was. His skin was practically golden and his nearly black curls gave him this look that was both youthful and yet inspired thoughts that certainly weren't suitable for children. It didn't help that the scruff on his jaw was perfectly groomed to make the best of his chiseled features. He was fairly fit too, at least from what I could tell from the tight white polo with the spa's logo. While he wasn't Dimitri by any means, he certainly wasn't a bad second when it came to appearances.

"Good afternoon, Beautiful." His smile could end a war, I swear. "Gel nails like the others in the bridal party, correct?"

"Yes. Please. Thank you. And, please call me Rose." While I appreciated his idle flirtation (we both came from professions where it was highly encouraged) it was a little too sugar coated for even me.

"Whatever you'd like, Rose. I'm Ambrose." He winked and shook my hand before inspecting them.

I cringed a little, knowing that he would probably see them as very under nurtured. He had the grace to not say anything about it though. He got to work filing and whatnot as the conversation next to me caught my interest again.

"The way Dhampirs are treated is deplorable. We've known this for years, but we haven't really done anything to rectify the situation." I could hear the passion in Tasha's voice and instantly knew why she was a prime vehicle for change around here.

"I agree with you Tasha, and I assure you that I've brought your concerns up to the Council more than once, but I need a concrete idea on what can be done about it. My voice means little to them right now, so anything too grand gets thrown out immediately. However, if we could find something small that can get the ball rolling, well I'm sure that I could get Tatiana to back it. The rest of the Council won't go against her."

"How about we start by just giving them a voice?" Tasha huffed.

"Isn't that what the Guardian's Council is for?"

Ambrose cleared his throat and caught the attention of all three of us. "If I may, Princess. The Guardian Council does as much as they can, but they are only able to intercede on behalf of sanctioned guardians. They cannot speak for the Dhampir community at large."

I had heard Dimitri mention the Guardian Council once or twice, but I wasn't very knowledgeable about the finer details of how they worked. By the open mouths of both Liss and Tasha, they didn't know either.

"So, you are telling me that you don't have any true representation?"

Ambrose shook his head silently, staring intently as he rounded the edge of my forefinger's nail.

"Well...shit."

I couldn't help but nod in agreement with Tasha's summary of the situation. Suddenly it clicked that Ambrose was a dhampir, and more importantly (at least from what I could surmise from Lissa's comment) he was an unpromised dhampir like me. While Lissa and Tasha continued their conversation, I was suddenly much more interested in the man in front of me.

I wasn't quite sure how to begin, seeing how touchy this topic seemed to be. "Forgive me but...you aren't a guardian, are you?"

His filing never stopped, though he glanced up at me through his lashes that were entirely unfair to be wasted on a man. I would have practically killed for them. "Seems like neither of us are." He said it with a smile, teasing more than taking offense and I felt myself relax a little.

"You're the first unpromised dhampir I've met at Court. I was beginning to think they didn't exist, and I really didn't expect to meet a guy."

"Oh we exist alright, guys too. Granted, there aren't many within the walls of Court, but we're out there somewhere."

"If you don't mind me asking...why?"

"Why what?"

Well, why everything? "Why aren't you a guardian? Why didn't you run away like most do? Why do you stay when I know you must be mocked here, if not outright abused?"

"I'd think you'd have your own answers to those questions."

I glanced at Lissa, still fully enthralled in her conversation with Tasha. I had yet to let her know about my plans of returning to Vegas. With the wedding tomorrow, it didn't seem right to bring down her mood. I'd leave a note or something... "Well, I'm figuring things out right now."

He raised an eyebrow – a maneuver that looked nearly as attractive on him as it did on Dimitri – and studied me a moment. "Well, I choose not to be a guardian because I had little interest in combat. Let's just say I'm a lover, not a fighter. I didn't leave because I wasn't trained to run away from a challenge. And I stay...well I stay because of my own reasons. Yes, I get called names and such, but I've found something here that makes staying worthwhile."

As he looked at me, cocking his head to the side, his hair fell away and revealed a wound on the side of his neck. A bite mark, and fresh one too by the looks of it. I find myself staring, and gave a little cough when I snapped out of it. I couldn't look at him when I asked the next question.

"Is that the only option then?" I gave a slight nod towards his neck, which he no doubt noticed me focusing on just moments ago.

"Believe it or not, I choose to be fed from. It gets a bad name in public, but sharing blood can be very freeing and intimate when done with the right person. I'm in an exclusive relationship and this is part of it. I don't let just anyone bite me. It's not about the endorphin rush," his smile grew another watt or two, "though the high is a nice benefit, I'll admit. It took a while, but I don't feel the need to hide it anymore. People are going to say what they want to say about me. I can't choose how they perceive me, only my reaction to their perceptions. I've decided to be happy."

I wasn't sure what to say to his philosophical speech. He was an outcast here, in more ways than one, but he didn't let it get to him. I guess I could understand that to a certain extent. It's not like I haven't been called my fair share of obnoxious names while in Vegas, but it's almost as if I'd forgotten that when I came here. I have a tough skin, but I was so focused on figuring out who I was, I think I lost a bit of who I am.

We discussed various subjects as he painted coat after coat of the gel polish on my fingertips, holding them under the UV lamp in between each one. He talked about his own schooling, and how hard the first few years were after he graduated and decided not to make his promise and receive his mark. He talked about how his Aunt Rhonda, a psychic, had helped him solidify his decision. I tell him about dancing in Vegas and I'm surprised how intrigued he is until he confesses that he once considered stripping for a living. I assure him that he would have been quite the success and we both dissolved into laughter. I love that he has no shame about anything and I slowly find myself opening up to that part of myself too.

Eventually, our group finished up and started getting ready to depart. Just before I left, Ambrose slipped me his business card.

"Just in case you ever need someone to talk to." I didn't miss the sincerity in his voice, and I was grateful that I've met someone who was finally able to understand me.

Part of me wanted to say that Ambrose has made me feel less alone, but I can't. If I'm perfectly honest with myself, I've never really felt alone here. It was easy to see that there are people who care for me and want the best for me. It's only when I started to pull away from them that I started to feel lonely. I'm not sure what to make of the revelation. I still don't feel like I fully belong, but I know that these people are a part of me too.

Author's Note

A couple of new character's have joined us! Tasha, Abrose...what do you think? Also, how do you eat your pancakes? A true Romitri at heart, I eat mine with BOTH peanut butter and jelly.

Also, as I mentioned in one of my stories last week, I'm dealing with some medical issues and testing right now. Many of you have wished me well on this insane journey, and thank you for that, but it is also pretty tiring and has been taking quite a bit of my time and energy. After discussing things with my wonderful beta, Raissa, and coming to the realization that some of my chapters have been less than my best work, please understand if my update schedule isn't as stable as it has been for the past several months. I pride myself on being consistent in my writing and updates, so please know that I'm going to do my BEST to keep it up. However, if I have to make the choice of putting a sub-par chapter up or waiting a few days to give you something of real quality, then I'll always choose quality. I hope you guys can understand that and forgive any possible delays. Like I said, I REALLY want to keep my update schedule, but I have to put my family and my health first, and the quality of these stories right after that.

Thank you all for being so amazing. Please feel free to favorite, follow, share and review!