SKYHIGH
TRIS POV
I sit in a hallway I don't recognize. I walked here because I needed to get away from the dormitory. I still feel like I can smell the blood in there, only now it is mixed with the smell of bleach that someone used to clean the floors this morning. I wonder if I should just go and spend some time with Tobias. I would really like that, especially after last night. But I am enjoying the peace from just sitting here alone.
I hear people approaching and hope that they don't recognise me. Being the first jumper seems to give you a little more attention than the other initiates get.
"Tris?"
I look up to see Uriah standing in front of me. If there is a person in Dauntless who can make you feel better just with a smile it is Uriah. He has warmth that emanates from him.
"You okay?" he asks.
"I had a difficult night."
"Yeah, I heard about that guy Edward," he says. He gives me a small grin. I wonder what is going through his mind; it is a grin that makes me think he is up to no good. "Want to get out of here?"
"What?" I ask. "Where are you going?"
"To a little initiation ritual," he says. "Come on. We have to hurry."
Curiosity has peaked in me. I could do with a distraction. I raise myself up and start to jog next to Uriah as we try to catch up with the Dauntless-born initiates he was with before he stopped to talk to me.
"The only initiates they usually let come are the ones with older siblings in Dauntless," he says. "But they might not even notice. Just act like you belong."
"What exactly are we doing?"
"Something dangerous," he says. I see a sparkle in his eye that only the Dauntless would have. The leaden feeling I had just a few moments ago are gone and are replaced with a feeling of excitement.
"What's the Stiff doing here?" Some boy asks. I can't believe they are still looking at me as though I am from Abnegation. I was the first jumper and have passed the first stage of training. It makes me wonder do people ever forget your faction of origin or do you have to deal with this forever?
"She just saw that guy get stabbed in the eye, Gabe," Uriah says. "Give her a break, okay?"
Gabe shrugs and turns away. A few others give me sidelong glances but they don't say anything. I'm glad, I don't feel like an argument or fight today. Plus I am loving the feeling of hanging with the Dauntless-born initiates.
We walk outside the compound to the train tracks. We jump onto the train and Uriah and I go and sit against one of the walls.
"Where are we going?"
Uriah shrugs. "Zeke never told me."
"Zeke is your brother?" I ask. I had no idea they don't look anything alike.
"You know my brother?" Uriah asks.
"Four introduced us," I say. Hoping to sound casual. I don't need Uriah knowing of my relationship with Tobias just yet.
"You don't get to know. That ruins the surprise!" the girl on my left shouts. She extends her hand. "I'm Shauna."
I shake her hand but as usual it feels unnatural. I don't know if I will ever feel right shaking people's hands. Maybe I could sit with Suzy and we could practice. She is probably feeling the same way about it.
"I'm—" I start to say.
"I know who you are," she says. "Four told me about you."
By the look she is giving me I know she knows about Tobias and I. they must be really good friends for him to confide in her. I start to feel jealous. I forget that he had a life here for two years while I was stuck in Abnegation. I shouldn't expect that he kept to himself while I wasn't here but I feel like I have missed out on something. I don't know exactly what but I am realising that there is a part of him that I don't really know about.
It is making me more determined to pass initiation so that we can start our life together properly and not have to hide. It also makes me feel good that I am starting to get to know other Dauntless members, especially knowing that they are friends with Tobias because hopefully in time they can become my friends too.
"Do you know him well?" I ask. I know she does but I can't help but ask.
"Everyone knows Four," she says. "We were initiates together. I was bad at fighting, so he taught me every night after everyone was asleep." She scratches the back of her neck, her expression suddenly serious. "Nice of him."
The jealousy starts to jump into my thoughts again. I reprimand myself for this. It is stupid to be jealous. Of course Tobias would help someone if he could. He can't help himself, it doesn't matter that he left Abnegation; the teachings are burned into the back of our brains. Forever a part of us no matter how far we try to travel from them.
Shauna gets up and stands behind the members sitting in the doorway. "Here we go!" she shouts. She jumps from the train and we all follow.
I start to wonder why Tobias isn't here. Zeke and Shauna are both here I would expect him to be hanging with his friends. Then it dawns on me, I know he is afraid of heights. Whatever we are about to do must involve heights.
I jog with Uriah to catch up with the members. I look around as we move forward. The Hub is behind us, black against the clouds, but the buildings around me are dark and silent. That means we must be north of the bridge, where the city is abandoned.
We turn a corner and spread out as we walk down Michigan Avenue. South of the bridge. I lift my eyes to scan the buildings, I know where we're going; the empty Hancock building, the tallest building north of the bridge.
I wonder what we are going to do when we get there. As we get closer the members start to run. Uriah and I sprint to catch them. They push through a set of doors at the building's base. The glass in one of them is broken, so it is just a frame. I step through it instead of opening it and follow the members through an eerie, dark entryway, crunching broken glass beneath my feet.
I don't like the thought of having to walk up all the stairs if we are going to the top. It reminds me of Abnegation and how we weren't supposed to get into lifts. They were for others to use. We would use the stairs so someone else could have our spot in the elevator.
"Do the elevators work?" I ask Uriah, hoping no one else can hear me.
"Sure they do," Zeke says as he rolls his eyes. "You think I'm stupid enough not to come here early and turn on the emergency generator?"
"Yeah," says Uriah. "I kinda do."
This has Zeke putting Uriah into a headlock and they start to wrestle each other. It is strange to watch and makes me think of Caleb. We never had a relationship like this. I start to wonder what it would have been like if we had been raised in Dauntless. Would Caleb have still picked Erudite if we had?
The elevator doors open and I am relieved I don't have to walk up all those stairs. The members start to pile into one of the elevators and the initiates in the other. A girl with a shave head stomps on my toes on the way in and doesn't apologize. I grab my foot, wincing, and consider kicking her in the shins.
"What floor?" the girl with the shave head asks.
"One hundred," I say.
"How would you know that?" she asks, venom thickly entwined in her words.
"Lynn, come on," Uriah says. "Be nice."
"We're in a one-hundred-story abandoned building with some Dauntless," I retort. "Why don't you know that?"
She doesn't respond, instead she jams her finger into the button. The doors close and we start to move. I am so grateful that we didn't take the stairs. It would have taken half the day to have gotten to the top. The elevator moves so fast as we make our way to the top. I can see why Tobias isn't here; he would hate this with his fear of heights.
"I wonder how we'll get to the roof from . . ." Uriah's voice trails off.
A strong wind hits me, pushing my hair across my face. There is a gaping hole in the ceiling of the hundredth floor. Zeke props an aluminium ladder against its edge and starts to climb. The ladder creaks and sways beneath his feet, but he keeps climbing, whistling as he does. When he reaches the roof, he turns around and holds the top of the ladder for the next person.
As I am waiting for my turn to climb the ladder, I think of the sight of Zeke and the other Dauntless running through the streets with the ladder in their arms. It must have looked funny and if anyone had passed by them they would have been totally confused.
Once we are at the top the wind is so strong that I need to lean on Uriah not to topple over. Then I see what we are going to do. We're going to slide down a steel cable in a black sling from one thousand feet up.
"Oh my God," says Uriah.
All I can do is nod.
I don't know how long I have waited but watching the others is leaving me with a feeling of excitement. I am now looking forward to this. I look around at the other initiates and I can see fear in their eyes. The members have all been excited as they wait to take their turn. I can't imagine it being too bad or the members wouldn't be doing this.
Finally my turn has come. I shudder as Zeke hangs my sling from the cable. I try to climb in, but I have trouble; my hands are shaking too badly. Now that it is my turn I don't feel as brave as I did only moments ago. I hear Zeke tell me not to worry and then start having a conversation with Uriah. I'm not really listening to the banter between the brothers I am so focused on what I can see ahead.
Zeke releases the sling and for me everything is forgotten. The wind is so strong that I have tears streaming from my eyes. I feel like I am without substance, without weight. I start to focus on the view that is around me. It is amazing from up here and I get daring and throw my arms out to the side and it makes me feel as though I am flying.
My heart beats so hard it hurts, and I can't scream and I can't breathe, but I also feel everything, every vein and every fibre, every bone and every nerve, all awake and buzzing in my body as if charged with electricity. I am pure adrenaline.
Once I slow down, I run my fingers through my hair and I can feel the knots that have formed due to the wind. I am hanging about twenty feet above the ground. I work the straps that hold me loose and I look at the crowd of members that stand below me. They grasp one another's arms, forming a net of limbs beneath me.
In order to get down, I have to trust them to catch me. I have to accept that these people are mine, and I am theirs. It is a braver act than sliding down the zip line.
I wriggle forward and fall. I hit their arms hard. Wrist bones and forearms press into my back, and then my palms wrap around my arms and pull me to my feet.
"what'd you think?" Shauna says, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Um . . ." I see all the members staring at me. I am the only non Dauntless-born initiate here and I know that they are waiting to see if I really am cut out for Dauntless. This is a test just as important as any stage of the formal training we are given to these members. Lucky for me I loved it.
"When can I go again?" I ask. I cannot wipe the smile that stretches my whole face so you are able to see my teeth and I laugh. The terror of watching Edward flail around on the floor gone, blown away by the wind that coursed over my body as I hurtled toward the ground.
The other members are watching as they see a figure starting to come into view. I know it is Uriah.
"I bet he'll cry," someone says.
"Zeke's brother, cry? No way. He would get punched so hard."
"His arms are flailing!"
"He sounds like a strangled cat," I say. Everyone laughs. I can't wait for him to reach the ground so I can tell him what he sounded like from here.
I walk into the dining hall and I can still smell the wind on me. I am standing among a crowd of Dauntless and I feel like one of them. Shauna wave's goodbye to me as the crowd breaks apart. I walk toward the table where Christina, Al and Will sit, gaping at me.
"Where were you?" asks Christina. "What were you doing with them?"
"Uriah . . . you know, the Dauntless-born who was on our capture the flag team?" I say. "He was leaving with some members and he begged them to let me come along. They didn't really want me there. Some girl named Lynn stepped on me."
"They may not have wanted you there then," says Will quietly, "but they seem to like you now."
"Yeah," I say. I can't deny it. "I'm glad to be back though. Where's Suzy?"
"We haven't seen her, we thought she must have been with you," Christina says.
I wonder where she has gotten to today. I hope that she has had a great day. Anything to forget the horror of last night.
My thoughts are on Suzy when Christina starts to tell me about almost punching someone from Erudite who was trying to find out information about Abnegation leadership. The stories always surface around this time of year. They have been getting worse ever since Tobias transferred out.
Will has gotten upset that Christina is not telling the whole story. So he starts to tell the story again just with more detail. I just nod so that they think I am listening but all I can think about is my time on the zip line and how much fun I had with the Dauntless members.
I know that I am desperate to become a member so I can be with Tobias. But now I can start to see that I will also have some great friends.
I am taken from my thoughts with Suzy coming and sitting next to me.
"Where have you been all day?" I ask.
She blushes and it makes me think that she has spent her day with Eric. "I will tell you later," she whispers in my ear. She then turns to the group and explains that she just wanted to be alone and went and sat on the roof at the top of the compound. Telling them she just wanted a break from being underground so much and wanted to try and forget the events of last night. The group all nods their heads, which means they believe what she has told them.