~ ROSE ~

The wedding ceremony was something out of a fairy tale. Seriously, if fairy tales were real, the chapel would have been the image on the last page of the book, with "...and they lived happily ever after" scrawled across it in a fancy script.

I was sneaking a peek before everything got underway and even from my limited view behind the crack in the door, I could see that the room was elaborately decorated in soft shades of white, cream, lilac, and blush. It was...heavenly. Hydrangeas decorated the end of each pew, and a long white carpet ran down the center aisle. I knew the Lissa's flower girls were already eager to scatter the pastel petals. They had been "practicing" all morning, much to the wedding planner's chagrin.

Completing the royal event was a guest list that included every major royal Moroi from all over the world. According to Lissa, she didn't know a majority of those who would be witnessing her nuptials, but since the Queen didn't have a daughter, Lissa had been a stand in and this shindig had become as much of a political event as it was a romantic one.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw the pale Moroi wedding planner giving me a similar look she had given the rambunctious flower girls only a few minutes earlier.

"It's time to start. You need to go stand in line."

I nodded. She was starting to really get on my nerves. I didn't even know the woman's name but she had been looking down on me since the moment I had been made a part of the wedding party. I wish I could pass it off as simply being inconvenienced by a last minute addition to her meticulously planned event, but I knew it wasn't the case. She generally pleasant to everyone in the party except for two others: Dimitri and Eddie. There was only one thing all three of us had in common.

I moved away from the door, catching a quick glimpse of the men lining up at the front of the hall.

I knew that Dimitri, Eddie, and of course Christian would be waiting at the end of the aisle, but one of the men in the party was behind the closed door with us. As if my thoughts alone could conjure him, he appeared.

"That dress is beautiful on you, Little Dhampir, but I must admit that it makes you look deceptively innocent."

I looked down at the pale pink frock I was dressed in and couldn't help but agree. "And Adrian, as usual, you look quite dashing."

"It's a gift." His smile was full of self-assurance, but it quickly morphed into concern as he leaned down to whisper, "Are you okay? I couldn't help but notice that you've been quiet. There also a dark purple touch to your aura that's fairly new. I can't say for certain, but I usually associate it with feelings of hopelessness."

I gave a little huff, slightly annoyed that he could literally see into my soul but touched that he cared enough to ask about it.

"You aren't the only one who is sporting the color either. Dimitri has it back also."

My head snapped up from where I had been focusing on tiled floor. "What do you mean? Back?"

"Yeah, I had gotten pretty used to it over the past few years." He stared at the doors separating us from the chapel as if he could see past them. "It grew after we lost you and it's been a near constant in his aura since then. When we found you in Las Vegas, it completely disappeared, but it showed up again a few days ago. After the charity event, actually."

I lowered my head in shame. I knew what the cause of his sudden change was, and by the looks of it, Adrian had a strong suspicion.

"So...you want to talk about it?"

I looked at Adrian skeptically. "You really want to hear about it?"

"About your star-crossed love life with the Russian? Well, it's no Stephan King novel but...sure, why not." He was acting like it was no big deal to him, but I could see the sincere interest behind his eyes.

"I'm leaving. Right after the wedding. I thought I could stay, but I don't belong here. I think I knew that from the beginning – I just don't fit into this world now – but I wanted to stay and get to know you guys and get to know who I was through you guys. It doesn't matter though. I realized that even if I learn who I used to be, I'll never be that same girl. Maybe that'd be okay, but it's hard when you know some people are looking at you and expecting you to be something you're not."

"It's not the same thing, I know, but I can understand how it feels when you don't think you're living up to others expectations. My parents didn't exactly get the 'unconditional love' part of the relationship. Nothing I did would ever live up to their expectations. I eventually learned to do what felt right to me. Either they got it or they didn't, but I couldn't change that." For someone who had a strong reputation of being a player, a reputation I still had yet to see him live up to, he was incredibly perceptive and sympathetic.

"Yeah. I think I'm figuring that out too." It wasn't the magical answer to all my problems, but I knew that was too much to hope for. Still, I was grateful for his support.

"I'll miss you, Rose. Or Ivy. It really doesn't matter what you choose to go by. You'll always be my Little Dhampir and I'll always be here for you, whatever you need. Promise me that you'll keep in touch?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, tucking me under his arm for a moment and whispering in my ear. "None of us want to lose you again."

"I promise," and I meant it. Even if I didn't feel like there was a place for me in this world, these people were engrained on my soul. Granted, some seemed to be more deeply rooted in me than others.

Our group was lining up in formation by the door. The flower girls leading the charge, followed by the ring bearer who seemed a bit too young to trust with rings I was sure were worth several thousand dollars minimum. Next was Mia, then me. I looked behind to see Adrian taking Lissa's arm.

She looked stunning, just as we all knew she would. She was able to combine a great sense of classic elegance and modern style. What was funny was that sense of perfect balance seemed to extend to nearly everything she was and did. From the way she dressed, to the way she held herself, and most importantly, her politics. She found a way to find compromise without anyone feeling like they were receiving the short end of the stick. To bring change without offending.

Today, that talent extended to holding a very formal, very traditional wedding with the Queen's political allies in attendance. But she pushed the envelope by slipping modern elements in without allowing them to stand out like a sore thumb.

The grand doors opened and I could hear the classic Cannon in D signaling our start. I wasn't looking forward to being the center of attention again, even if it was just for a moment before the real star made her entrance, but as they say: "the show must go on."

Before I knew it, I was being guided to into the chapel by the fussy wedding planner and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I closed my eyes and focused on the music, stepping one foot in front of the other in time with the beat. After a few steps, I opened my eyes and smiled. I knew at the moment, every eye was on me, but I was completely focused on one person. Standing just to the right of Christian, was Dimitri.

– Dimitri –

I had a dream once, back at the academy after Rose had disappeared but before Christian and Lissa's graduation, where my subconscious had entertained the idea of Rose walking down the aisle. Granted, she had been dressed in white, the ceremony was decidedly simpler, and the dream didn't hold a candle to watching her walk towards me in reality. To say that she took my breath away was an understatement. I couldn't breathe at all, and I was completely okay with that as long as I got to watch her a moment longer.

The reality of the situation was at the back of my mind. This wasn't my wedding. Roza wasn't to be my wife. She wasn't going to be anything to me, except for the one that got away. She was leaving and it was at least partly my fault. I wasn't going to get a lifetime with her. I was given one night – one perfect night – that Rose later confessed was a mistake. I couldn't agree with her. I wouldn't have traded that night for anything. I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Rose's smile seemed slightly forced. I knew she wasn't reveling in the attention. As social as she had once been, she had been trying to keep a low profile here at Court. Playing a supporting role in the wedding of the year wasn't exactly conducive to flying under the radar. I guess that was just one more way that the Roza I knew and this new Rose were so different.

Ever since my conversation with Tasha, I had been going over and over in my head about how blind I had been. I had ignored or justified how different Rose seemed to be from the girl I knew. I kept clinging to that person that I had known and overlooked the equally amazing person right in front of me. I knew now that Rose was different. She was someone who I needed to get to know again by starting at the beginning. However, I knew that I could love her now just as much as I had loved her then. I was already well on my way. But I had screwed it up. I realized my idiocy too late and pushed Rose away.

It's for the better. She'll be better off this way. I kept repeating those phrases over and over again in my mind but they held no comfort. All they did was keep me composed enough to get through the waking hours.

The vows between Vasilisa and Christian were beautiful. I could hardly focus on what was being said while I kept sneaking glances at Rose just on the other side of starring pair, but I had Christian's words practically memorized by now. He had read them aloud almost every chance he could over the last two weeks, making sure everything was perfect. There was no doubt in my mind that Lissa's promises would be just as sincere and touching.

When the priest announced them Husband and Wife, the crowd applauded and the pair made their exit between the two sections. Of course, Christian only made it about half way before he stopped Lissa and wrapped her up in another kiss as if he couldn't get enough of her. When he pulled back, he had a sense of awe and disbelief on his face. I didn't blame him one bit. Lissa was much too good for him and we all knew it, including him. Infact, he was probably the most vocal about the opinion. However, we also knew that Lissa was the only one with the unusual ability to put up with him, and not just tolerate him, but love him unconditionally. They may not seem like it from afar, but they were a matched pair if I had ever seen one.

I heard Rose's light chuckle from beside me. She was shaking her head at the lovebird's display with a smile on her face that betrayed her. When I offered my arm to her, she hesitated only a moment before looping her own around my forearm and allowing me to guide her out of the chapel.

Unfortunately, she pulled away just as soon as we were out of sight of the congregation. The awkwardness that had been ever present since our morning-after immediately settled over us. She refused to look at me and walked towards Lissa to offer her congratulations. I hated being on the receiving end of her cold shoulder, but I almost wished that she was doing it out of anger or spite like she would occasionally do in training back at the academy. This...this was something different. She was purposefully distancing herself from me.

Eddie had told me that she wasn't going to tell Christian or Lissa about her leaving. She'd be gone by the time they returned from their honeymoon, but she didn't want to ruin their day with bad news so she acted as if nothing was wrong. Eddie and I, the only other two who knew, followed her lead.

Pictures during cocktail hour were filled with an underlining tension between us, though everyone else seemed oblivious to it. I could only hope that the photos didn't pick it up. Between clicks of the camera, I could see Rose taking sips from a glass. Scotch on the rocks by the looks of it. A small stirring of jealousy reared its head when I caught Adrian refilling her empty glass, clinking a matching glass against her new one before they both drink. What really seared itself in my mind is the way his hand lingered on her shoulder for a moment before the photographer asked us to line up again in one final pose.

Justifying myself with the fact that I was off duty tonight, I grabbed a shot of vodka from the bartender and took it in one go, centering myself with a sharp exhale through my nose and snatching one of the hors d'oeuvres from a passing tray in hopes of warding off any form of inebriation. I could see Eddie toss me a questioning look and I waved him off as I took my position beside my partner and fellow groomsman. I had no desire to take advantage of the open bar, but I knew that I would need to clear my mind at least a little if I wanted any hope of getting through the evening.

Rose continued to avoid me over the next hour or so and into dinner. I felt a little relief in watching her quickly look away every time I glanced in her direction, as if she was afraid to be caught staring at me. Even if she wouldn't speak to me right now, I was pretty certain that I had at least a little of her attention. However, being across the room, or even just across the table from her was not enough for me. I knew my time was ticking away and I desperately needed to speak with her.

Most of the reception traditions were taken care of quickly. The cake was cut, the first song was danced, and speeches were made. Since there was no typical best man and maid of honor in the wedding party, Adrian and Tasha each gave a toast in behalf of the happy couple. The Queen even offered her own well wishes, officially giving her implied blessing to Lissa's marriage to the Ozera outcast.

As the band struck up, I watched Rose intently. I could see flashes of her dancing with others, including both Eddie and Adrian. She even shared a dance with Ambrose, one of the only male non-guardian Dhampirs that I had ever met and – if the rumored were to be believed – a romantic interest of the Queen herself.

Finally, after another round of vodka and a small encouragement from Eddie, I sought out the woman I had been watching all night. I still wasn't sure what I was planning on saying to her, but I knew I needed to speak to her and make this right between us. I couldn't let her walk out of my life. Not completely. Even if I could never say those three words aloud to her again, I would be okay. I just needed to be able to speak to her.

Her back was turned, a flute of champagne in one hand as she spoke animatedly with the other. Adrian looked over her shoulder and offered me a small smile but didn't give me away. Just as my fingertips grazed her upper arms, the band started a new song. I didn't recognize the tune, but the beat automatically struck me.

1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3...it was a waltz.

"May I have this dance?"

Rose eyed my proffered hand warily, perhaps debating what she would be promising me by accepting.

"Just one dance, Rose. I'm not proposing, I promise."

She smirked up at me, filled with mirth and apparently finding the reassurance she needed. Taking my arm and allowing herself to be led to the dance floor, I continued to strive for some lighthearted, non-demanding conversation between us.

"So, I've been practicing," I admitted, wondering if she'd take the bait.

"Oh, really?" I could see that playful glint, the same one that I had come to love at the academy during out training sessions and the very same one that I had fallen for all over again in the past couple of weeks.

"Yeah. I had an amazing instructor. Beautiful too."

Her eyes narrowed at me slightly, skeptical of my flirtation. "I wouldn't know anything about that."

I let out a short laugh as I placed my hands in the frame that Rose had practically drilled into me. She beamed up at me, but I couldn't tell if it was in because I had found the right position, or was a response to me laughter. "You mean to tell me you've never had a crush on one of your teachers?" I made sure that there was plenty of sarcasm in my voice to make sure she knew that I was playing with her...offering a white flag, if you will.

"Never!" She exclaimed, taking her hand from my upper arm to place it over her heart in mock offense. "That would be completely inappropriate!"

Well, she wasn't lying about that. It had been completely inappropriate at the time. I also realized that she could be telling the complete truth. Rose...this Rose...never did fall for her combat instructor. She never lived through the struggle of sacrificing her own love life for duty, or testing the boundaries of what could satisfy you without causing more trouble and failing miserably at both. This Rose didn't share my past...but maybe she could be a part of my future.

The steps of the song fell into the back of my mind, almost becoming second nature as I focused on her. With a deep breath, I let our playful banter slide into raw honesty.

"I'm sorry."

Rose bit her lip, as if trying to make sense of the sudden change in the conversation. "For what?"

"For not understanding. For making you feel like you had to be someone other than who you are. I think there will always be a part of me that clings onto the memories I made with you – with her – at the Academy, but I know that holding you to them is unfair to us both."

I could suddenly feel exactly what it meant to lead in dancing, because the small anticipating guidance that Rose gave my movements suddenly stopped, and I was now the only thing directing her on the dance floor. Her mouth opened and closed a few times while trying to form a response but I needed to finish what I started before my courage waned.

"I need you to know something though. While the Roza of my past will always be a part of me, and I will always love her, and yes, I think you will always be a reminder of her...that doesn't mean that I am any less in love with you. I'm falling for you, Rose. There are some things that are so unique to you, and they've endeared you to me. I love your sense of gratitude. I love that you are willing to let others in and help you. I love your patience, which I can honestly say is something completely different from the Roza I knew, but it makes me love you just the same, if not even more so. I can love you too, Rose...if you allow me to. I'd really like the chance to fall in love with you all over again."

I had stopped leading her at this point and we were standing in the middle of the dance floor, completely oblivious to the hundreds of people around us. At this moment, it was just me and her. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest with its rapid thumping and I waited, somehow both eager and terrified for her reply.

As Rose looked up at me, understandably somewhat stunned at my passionate declaration of affection, I held my breath. Her tongue darted between her lips, wetting them and buying herself a moment longer to say something. Finally, she took a breath and...

A loud sound pierced through the room.

Author's Note

Oh, so close. What do you think the noise was? What do you think of Adrian and Rose's conversation? How about Dimitri's apology?

Thank you all so much for the love and support that you offer me. I honestly believe that I have some of the most wonderful readers and followers in the world. You guys make my day and I look forward to hearing your thoughts each week. Thank you for following, favoriting, and taking a moment to say hi. I hope you all have a wonderful week.