Goodbyes On The Balcony

by ByeByeBirdie

3 years after Hogwarts, James and Lily are back with old and new friends by their side. Their lives are motivated by fear, their world surrounded by immense danger. As they each fight for their lives and for their loved ones in a world centered around Voldemort, the struggle to survive the war against him is nothing compared to the struggle to survive the wars within themselves.

31. Of Whiskey, Search Parties, & Bathtubs

A/N: Yeeeeaaahhh, I'm not surprised by the angry reviews, but that's what I get for giving you such a shocking cliffhanger. You will be happy to know that there is not a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter. You'll be happier to know that this chapter is almost double the length of the last chapter. There's definitely more angst and frustration in this chapter, but to counteract that there is some wit, surprises, and random interactions. Then again, that's all of my chapters, isn't it?

Disclaimer: See a previous chapter if you really don't know the drill by now.

---

Goodbyes on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 31: Of Whiskey, Search Parties, & Bathtubs

---

++KEEGAN++

I should have expected this. From the moment Sirius told me he ran into her, I should have realized that he would eventually figure out that I knew who Riley was. And yet, for an unexplained reason, I had kept my mouth shut for the past month. I wanted to tell Sirius so many times. But was it really my place to? I couldn't be sure.

"You know her?" Sirius snapped at me, the desolation in his voice evident.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but found myself too frozen from guilt to come up with any words.

"You've known all this time?" he spoke in a hoarse whisper, betrayal dripping from his words.

"No, it's not like that," I finally spoke, the words sounding so desperate. I didn't try to elaborate as I knew it wouldn't come out the way I wanted.

As my gaze met his, I could sense Riley looking back and forth between us. "What's going on?" Riley asked, clearly confused.

I gazed at my coworker before turning back to Sirius.

"How long then?" he muttered, almost pathetically.

I hung my head shamefully. "I didn't know until right before Christmas."

"Before Christmas!?" he exclaimed, his voice going up an octave.

"Sirius, I'm sor-"

"So help me Merlin, if you say you're sorry, I will strangle you," he snapped, glaring at me with confused anger. "I am so tired of hearing that word when no one seems to know the meaning behind it."

I shut my mouth but Riley didn't. "Don't drag me into whatever this is," she muttered.

Sirius glared at her before turning back to me. "No, Rouge here did that all by herself," he snapped. "How could you stay silent about this? You know how I felt! Hell, you've been in this position! You were the one who claimed you wanted closure and yet you didn't allow me that same courtesy when you knew! You knew, Keegan!"

"How do you two know each other?" Riley interrupted.

"Sirius, you have to believe that I didn't know who she was until her surname was mentioned. I had never put two-and-two together until I found out she was Lance's sister," I whispered, almost desperately. "And at that point, I wasn't so sure you even wanted to know she was back."

"Oh, right, because running into her unexpectedly at my coffee shop was a much better way to go."

Hm, he had a point.

"Ouch," Riley murmured.

"Go back inside, Riley," Sirius snapped, glaring at her. "This is no longer about you."

"Er…it kinda is."

"Go back inside."

Riley frowned and turned to look at me curiously. "How do you know Sirius?" she asked softly.

"RILEY, GO THE HELL INSIDE!"

Riley sighed. "You may be frustrated with me, but you don't get to scream at me, Sirius. I think I have a right to ask what's going on."

The fury in Sirius' eye was unmistakable. I've seen Sirius angry but he was angrier now than I've ever witnessed. And I knew it wasn't at Riley this time. It was directed towards me. "How the hell do you two know each other?" Sirius snapped, his words bitter and irate.

Riley and I exchanged a look before I shrugged. "We work at The Daily Prophet," Riley said matter-of-factly. "Some of the other girls are inside my apartment, too. We were having a bash-the-guys meeting when you knocked on my door."

Sirius turned to me, the anger in his eyes fading into disappointment. "You figured it out," he spoke softly. "Right before Christmas, you realized the same Riley we had always referred to was the same Riley you worked with."

I nodded.

"And you didn't tell me."

"I was going to," I pleaded, guilt weighing heavily inside of me. Which was saying a lot because I didn't often feel guilty. "At the New Year's Eve party. But the Death Eaters kind-of got in the way."

"It's been a month since then," Sirius scoffed, glaring at me. "You've had plenty of time. Especially if you count all of those times we slept together."

Riley's eyebrow arched almost immediately as she whipped her head around to face me, letting out a low whistle. "So apparently Keegan and I have a lot more in common than just our writing abilities."

I glanced over at the girl that had become a comrade to me since she arrived ten months earlier. As per Malone's requirement, she was known as Gilbert Morley and expected to be known as that for her first year of employment at the Daily Prophet. So it didn't come as a surprise that no one figured out she was working there. I was oddly grateful when she arrived at the newspaper because there were very few females working there. It was just me, Donna Gladstone (who had been working there for six months and went by the name of Donald Stoneglad), Daniela Skeeter (who went by the name of Daniel Skeeter but just her surname alone told people exactly who she was; she had been there for three years, arriving just before me), and Gladys Gertrude who had been there for five years and went by her original female name (thought, at times, she went by the name of Glenn Gerry depending on how much pressure Malone put on her). We stuck together, going out for drinks after a long day of Jasper Malone riding us or venting about his chauvinistic tendencies over coffee or ranting about his intentions to promote the males at the paper over them even though the females bloody deserved it. Riley had only been there for ten months (fourth to Gladys, third to me, and second to Daniela), but she was by far one of the best writers at the entire newspaper. When she arrived, she didn't say much to any of us but it didn't take long for her to realize that you needed the backup of the female population as a female herself or she wouldn't last at the paper.

When I first started, there had been nine females in total. One by one they had all bowed out, refusing to let Malone bully them. The only reason the rest of us stuck with it was because of the street cred we got as the limited pool of females working at the Daily Prophet. Riley was one of the toughest people I knew and she came in that way. I didn't know why, nor did I ask, but when I realized who she was, I knew that while she had been a coward in the past in relationships, she felt she had to make up for it as a reporter. And hell, she did. You didn't work at the Daily Prophet without a backbone and she certainly had one. We had never been best friends and we didn't pretend to be, but I admired her up until the point I discovered who she really was. I knew Riley and I knew Sirius and while I thought I liked Riley more (because at the time I wasn't exactly Sirius' biggest fan) I couldn't rightly agree with what she did to him. No one deserved to be left behind. No one.

"Would you really have wanted me to be the one to tell you?" I asked softly, my gaze falling upon Sirius in desperation as I ignored Riley's presence beside me.

"I would have preferred that than the unfortunate way I did find out," he drawled sarcastically.

I hung my head shamefully, knowing that no matter what I had to say, this conversation was not going to go in my favor. "Sirius" was all I could think of to whisper.

Frustration seeped through Sirius' eyes. "You and Riley are one and the same, thinking you can just say my name and suddenly that says it all. Well, it doesn't. You are a piece of work, Rouge, y'know that?"

I won't tell you how much it hurt to hear him say that Riley and I were one and the same because in Sirius' mind, that was the worst insult someone could give. "I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, Sirius," I spoke desperately. "I wanted to tell you but I just didn't know how. You-"

He snorted, cutting me off. "Do you and Riley practice the same speeches because I believe I got this very same one from her earlier. Different topic, same excuses."

I knew it was a lost cause. He wouldn't forgive me.

"I don't know why," Sirius continued softly, "but I actually trusted you. I let down my guard and actually trusted you even though you and I despised each other for so long. And this is what I get in return?"

He was right. Every word he spoke was right but it didn't make it any easier for me to listen to. I knew that I had hurt him. I knew the entire time that I was hurting him by association and still remained quiet. I had reasoned with myself that it was because it wasn't my place to tell him but the truth of the matter was, I had always seen heartbreak staring back at me when he spoke of Riley. I didn't want to break his heart any more than it already was and if I told him Riley has moved back, I could practically see the already dulled light in his eyes go completely dark. So I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to be the one to watch him fall apart. He was barely hanging on as it was. I wasn't going to be the one to push him over the edge.

I made the mistake of lifting my gaze to meet his. The anger wasn't there anymore. Even the disappointment had faded. He didn't even look upset. No, instead his eyes were completely void of feeling as if he realized it was just better to feel nothing than to feel bad all the time. "Sirius," I whispered, wishing I had something better to say. "It's because you let your guard down that I didn't want to hurt you."

A frown spread across his lower jaw. "I don't know what's worse," he spoke coolly, glancing over in Riley's direction first before turning back to face me. "Running into my ex-girlfriend at a coffee shop who walked out on me without so much as a goodbye just to find out she's been back for ten months and kept it a secret or the fact that you knew my ex-girlfriend who walked out on me without so much as a goodbye has been back for ten months and you kept it a secret."

I cringed at the harsh truth of his words.

He grew quiet, the expression on his face growing reluctant. "I just can't trust anyone anymore, can I?" he murmured, fixing his stare on me.

I stared right back, wishing I had anything to say that would make him feel better.

I never got the chance to find the words because before I could, he was rushing down the hallway and out of sight. I considered calling out after him, but inevitably neglected to. Sirius and I barely knew each other and I don't think me attempting to console him would make him feel any better about the situation we had all unfortunately placed him into.

When he was gone, Riley turned to me, a frown evident on her face. "How do you know Sirius?"

I looked up at her and saw desperation in her eyes. I found myself telling her an edited version of the truth. "You probably know that Kay and Lily were roommates until Kay moved out to live with Lance. I…I did a lot of my editing and proofreading at Lance's bookstore so he suggested I move in with Lily when the opportunity presented itself. And I did."

Riley didn't say anything, staring up at me with curiously questioning eyes. "He never said anything to me."

"I don't think he knew I worked for the Daily Prophet until much later. My guess is he didn't want any shit to hit the fan so he kept it quiet to me and he kept it quiet to you."

"Yeah, well," Riley sighed. "Shit has hit the fan."

"Yes, it has," I murmured, running my fingers through my hair like I so often did when feeling vulnerable.

She glanced at me with a curious glint in her eye and I had a feeling I knew what she was about to ask. "That's not the whole story though, is it?" she said hesitantly. "Because apparently at some point, you started sleeping with him."

I cringed, turning away from her quickly as heat rushed to my cheeks. I knew she was going to ask about it and yet the question still unnerved me. "The point has come and gone," I muttered.

She hesitated. "Oh? What happened?"

I swallowed hard, not able to tell her that she happened. "Please don't ask me about that," I pleaded in a whisper.

She stared at me and I was unable to read the expression on her face. Eventually she nodded. "Okay," she spoke evenly, before whirling around and stepping past me into her own kitchen.

I stood in that hallway for a long time, trying to process what has just happened without completely losing control. Sirius probably hated me. With a passion. Riley probably resented me. Understandably so. And me?

I sighed. Well, I had no clue what to do.

---

++RILEY++

I wasn't surprised when Keegan chose to leave after that. I sat on my couch with a beer in my hand, the other girls whining about Malone, while I remained mute on the subject. My thoughts were too focused on what just happened to bother complaining about my boss.

It was a weird situation to be in. A part of me wanted to know all the details while another part of me wanted nothing to do with it. I could have said it was because it wasn't my business. But the truth was, it was because I was afraid of what I might hear. Was it just sex? Was it a relationship? It sounded like they had hated each other at one point, so how did that change? And why? When?

I made a face, shaking the questions from my mind. No, I didn't want to know. I was fine being in the dark.

At least then I could pretend whatever it was between them was nothing. And I'd rather believe it was nothing than something.

I cringed at that thought. It wasn't my place to hope they meant nothing to each other. No, I had to figure out what the hell Sirius and I meant to each other before even bothering to think about how Keegan fit in.

I just had no idea where to start.

---

++REMUS++

James came traipsing into the kitchen that evening, looking quite harried as he stuck his head into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "Bad day?" I asked curiously as I gestured for him to grab me one.

He made a face, dropping into the chair across from me. "Like any other, I suppose," he mused. "I just couldn't stop thinking about Kay and Lance."

I frowned in assent. I couldn't believe that only twenty-four hours had gone by since I ran into Kay outside Sirius' apartment. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

After sticking Kay in one of the guest bedrooms the night before, I knocked on James' door to explain the situation. He had been half-asleep at the time but with one word of Kay and Lance's break-up, he was immediately alert (I did manage to keep quiet about our almost mishap). I wasn't surprised when he had no qualms with Kay staying at Potter Manor until she figured out what her next step was. And I was even less surprised that he wanted to go give Riley a piece of his mind. I was able to talk him down from that ledge considering it was nearing two o'clock in the morning and even though I was definitely not the biggest fan of Riley Gilmore, I didn't agree with barging in on her in the middle of the night.

"I couldn't stop thinking about them either," I agreed with a sigh, reaching out to grab the beer from James' hand he was offering me. "Everything is just so…"

"Fucked up?"

I met James' gaze and slowly nodded. "Understatement," I murmured with a defeated sigh.

James gazed up at me curiously. "Has anyone spoken to Lance?"

That question shocked me. "Do you want to?"

Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he muttered. "Does that make me an asshole?"

I popped the cap off the bottle pensively. "I don't know," I admitted. "Should we be picking sides?"

"We should if one of the sides is Riley's," he scoffed.

He had a point.

"I'm really wondering what he has to say about all of this," he mused, taking a long swig of beer. "Riley's not the only person I would like to give a piece of my mind to."

I couldn't help but be a bit curious myself for what Lance had to say but for Kay's sake, I was going to stay away as long as possible.

"What else could go wrong?" James muttered.

Famous last words.

Right on cue, loud footsteps reverberated in the dining room and into the kitchen swooped Sirius. Now if James looked harried, Sirius looked like a righteous mess. He looked disheveled, his eyes filled with so much fury and agony. He looked at us, passing glances between our beer bottles. "Whiskey," he muttered, turning around to head back into the dining room.

James and I exchanged a confused look but before we could comment, Sirius reappeared with a half-bottle of whiskey in his hands. He took a long swig and without wincing, he placed the bottle down on the counter.

"Er…this might be pointing out the obvious but you don't really look okay," I spoke, bewildered.

Sirius frowned, his eyes glancing surreptitiously at the whiskey bottle. He shrugged contemplatively before reaching out to the whiskey once more and taking another long swig. "I don't know what I am," he sighed, hoisting himself on to the counter with a sharp intake of breath.

Watching him drink straight from the bottle without so much as a wince provided me with a flashback of four summers earlier. I had a sneaking suspicion that whatever was bothering Sirius now might have something to do with Riley.

"What's going on, Padfoot?" James asked carefully.

He fell silent. Which in itself was a pretty big feat for him.

"Sirius?" James urged.

His eyes once again grazed the whiskey bottle but this time he didn't reach for it. Instead, he rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, clearly deep in thought. His eyes grew dark as he opened his mouth to speak. "Riley's getting married."

The world literally froze at those words. I was in completely shock and by the widened eyes on James' face, it was obvious so was he. I never imagined Riley ever getting married and even though I haven't known her in four years, the feeling was still there.

Neither James nor I spoke, desperately trying to figure out if we heard Sirius correctly. "Riley Gilmore?" James sputtered out eventually.

He nodded sullenly. "There's more," he muttered.

More than Riley Gilmore engaged? I arched my eyebrow curiously. "Dare I ask?"

Sirius didn't speak immediately, his lips pursing together like they so often did when he felt overly anxious about something. James and I waited patiently before Sirius spoke. "She's marrying Rhett Davies."

I nearly fell out of my chair and James' eyebrows shot up into his forehead. "I think I misheard you," I choked out, my mouth dropping open in sheer awe.

"No you heard me right," he murmured. He dove into the story of him showing up on Riley's doorstep that evening, but I was only half-listening. I felt a slight bit of resentful frustration at Riley for getting married before any of us, as selfish as that sounded. But this is Riley Gilmore we're talking about here. A girl who thrived herself on her fear of commitment. How is it she could be getting married?

I glanced over at Sirius, wondering what he was thinking. She left him high and dry without a goodbye or an explanation. She ran out because she couldn't imagine facing the love she felt for him. But apparently she could face loving someone else. And that must have been a huge slap in the face for Sirius. I knew he wouldn't talk about it, choosing to suppress the unfortunate memory from the past, but I also knew that whatever painful feeling he had succumbed to when he ran into Riley had probably been elevated when he found out she was engaged to be married and he couldn't be bothered to let go of the past.

"It gets worse." Sirius' strained voice shook me from my thoughts.

How is that even possible? "Great," I muttered.

"It can get worse?" James groaned.

"Much," Sirius whispered, his voice filled with an undetectable trace of hurt. He suddenly had my complete attention, the anxiety unambiguous in his expression. I saw his bottom lip tremble slightly as he opened his mouth hesitantly. "Keegan knew that Riley was back."

I froze and beside me, James stiffened. "How?" I asked, confused.

Sirius sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Riley works at the Daily Prophet. And Keegan made the connection a week before Christmas Eve when we mentioned her surname."

I let the words sink in. "And didn't tell you."

"Didn't tell anyone."

I frowned curiously, wondering how this year could get any more screwed up. "Well," I mused hesitantly, "maybe she thought it wasn't her place?" It was my attempt to make Sirius feel even just an ounce better than I knew he was feeling at that moment.

Sirius' eyes clouded with frustration. "Keegan knew how angry and upset I was at Riley! She knew what I went through because I've told her. We've talked about it so many times. I don't care if it wasn't her place to be the one to give me the horrible news, but it would have been better than me finding out by running headfirst into the devil herself!"

I winced, realizing how heartless I had just sounded. "You're right," I admitted with a guilty sigh. I hesitated. "About it being better if you found out from Keegan, not the whole devil part."

Sirius glared at me.

"Okay, fine, Riley's the devil."

"I'm not finding this funny."

"Neither am I. I'm just...just trying to wrap my head around all of this."

I glanced over at James who was unusually quiet during this whole exchange. I noticed there was a sense of foreboding regret in the way he stared pensively at Sirius. "Sirius," he said slowly. "What exactly are you so angry about? The fact that Keegan kept you in the dark?" He hesitated. "Or the fact that Riley's getting married?"

Sirius' glare intensified and he looked like he was going to chew him out, but a stubborn silence fell over him instead. "That's unfair," he eventually murmured.

James offered him a sympathetic smile but didn't utter an apology. We all knew James had hit the nail on the head. "Sirius, do you still have feelings for her?" I slowly asked.

I wasn't surprised when Sirius avoided the question. He merely frowned, wincing as he asked, "Do you still have feelings for Jillian?"

I blinked. "I have no idea what that has to do with Riley."

He shrugged, his frown filling with defeat. His gaze met mine as he struggled to find his next words, his mouth opening and shutting more than a few times. He turned away from me and let out a sharp sigh. "It's hard letting go of someone you were in love with for so long."

I couldn't agree more. "It's even harder letting go of yourself," I found myself muttering.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I hesitated. I hadn't realized I said those words aloud but now that I did, I wasn't about to take them back. All three of us knew what it felt like to lose the love of our life. And in the process, lose ourselves. "We're not the same people we used to be when we were with Riley and Jillian. Even Lily," I pointed out with a sigh, ignoring the panicked look on James' face beside me. "And sometimes it's easier to..." I trailed off, not willing to admit it aloud.

"To pretend it was them that caused us to be this way, not ourselves?" Sirius spoke.

I gazed up at him in surprise and nodded. "Yeah."

No one spoke, all of very aware of the unforgiving truth in Sirius' statement. Was Sirius unwilling to commit to another girl because Riley left? Or because it was the way he wanted to live his life? Was James afraid of being in love because Lily had made him realize how much love can be overpowering and he was afraid he would never be able to get over losing her if it ever came to that? Or because he had forced himself to believe there was no other way to save Lily except by letting her go? Was I unhappy in my own skin because I didn't feel like I could be happy without Jillian? Or because I forced myself into this very state of depression without trying to claw my way out?

"They let us down," I found myself saying, grabbing the immediate attention of my two friends. "But in the end, we let ourselves down just as much."

They didn't bother asking me what I meant by that because we all knew. We let the break ups get the better of us, turning us into miserable robots who hated the world. But while we could sit here and blame the girls for that, we were the ones that got us to that point.

"Well, none of it matters now anyway," Sirius eventually murmured.

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Eh, both Riley and Keegan hate me."

James looked confused. "Why does Keegan hate you?"

He made a face. "Er...I may have asked her out on a date."

He blinked. "What? Why? I thought you didn't even like each other."

"Hm. That's what she said."

"I think you need to spell out a few things for us, Padfoot," James sighed, glancing slightly in my direction. "Starting with when you and Moony started speaking civilly to each other because last I checked, you two hated each other's guts for reasons that still remain unknown."

I shot him an impatient look. "Really? That's what you want to know when Sirius just told us that one, Riley is getting married to Rhett Davies; two, Keegan somehow knew Riley was back in town; and three, did you not just hear that he asked Keegan out on a date? Must I remind you that Sirius Black doesn't know how to date!" I snorted, the ends of my mouth turning upward.

That did get a slight chuckle out of James, though Sirius looked quite unamused. "I know how to date!" Sirius scowled.

"I'm not talking about a quickie in a pub bathroom."

Sirius hesitated. "Oh. Then never mind."

I smirked and James laughed beside me. "So please, do tell. Why the sudden urge to date a girl I had been pretty sure you hated?"

"Er…it seemed like a good idea at the time?"

"And what time was that? A drunken delirious time?" I snorted.

Sirius glared at me. "I never liked you."

"C'mon, Sirius, you've got to give us something," James urged. "Even you have to admit that you asking someone out on a legitimate date, and this isn't just someone, is a bit out of character for you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Does it matter why I did it? I'm just glad she said no considering how she ended up stabbing me in the goddamned back."

I frowned. "You're really upset with her, aren't you."

"Of course!" he scoffed. "I actually bloody trusted her. A girl I spent months loathing ended up being someone who I could actually relate to and who could relate to me. She knew all about Riley. I've told her things I haven't talked about with anyone in four years. And it's a huge slap in the face to know she knew all along that Riley was back."

I could quite literally see his heart breaking in front of me. I would have always thought the only person who could have made him feel that way was Riley. But it was evident Sirius had been spending time with Keegan more than I thought he had been because the way he was hunched over with regret dimming in his eyes proved that Keegan had really hurt him.

"You like her."

The words came from James but they might as well have come from me because I was thinking the same thing.

Sirius recoiled, making a face. "Oh, I do not. Did you not hear the part about her betraying me?"

"Yeah, but since when did you really care what Keegan did or said?" James pointed out knowingly.

Sirius scowled. "Betrayal feels the same no matter who it comes from."

James let out a sigh. "I'm so tired of talking about betrayal."

Now that I could agree with.

Sirius nodded. "Is anyone else in desperate need of Blarney's?"

"Is that always your answer?" James teased.

Sirius blinked. "Isn't getting drunk the answer to everything?"

James chuckled, climbing out of his chair. "Oh, why the hell not. I have a feeling we're going to need a few more drinks in us as you dissect this night."

"Don't we always need a few drinks in us when Sirius talks?" I spoke.

Sirius glared at me, hopping off the counter. "I can go back to hating you, y'know," he said dismissively as he headed out the kitchen.

Our laughter led our way to the front door.

Imagine our surprise when we opened it and Lily was standing there.

---

++JAMES++

I froze when I saw Lily standing at my front door. I was struck by the bags under her eyes, wondering if she, like me, was having trouble sleeping without me curled up by her side.

"Lily," I whispered breathlessly, very aware of the stares my two best friends were giving me.

She merely blinked, too caught off-guard to say anything.

"Kay's not here," Sirius suggested, but the look on her face told me Lily wasn't here for Kay.

She stopped staring at me and turned to Sirius. "You guys off to Blarney's?" she asked, her voice clearly trying to force lightheartedness as she avoided Sirius' question.

None of us said anything, all more than curious as to why Lily was standing there.

She cleared her throat awkwardly and once again set her sights on me. "James, can I…can I talk to you for a second?"

My heart started pounding out of my chest, wondering what she could possibly want with me. I had been convinced I may never see her again if she had her wish. And now she was standing in front of me. A part of me was thrilled she was standing there. Which inevitably just made me feel guilty. "Yeah," I spoke, hoping I sounded calm.

"Please don't murder him," Sirius pleaded, his attempt at a joke as he offered a teasing smile. "He may be a jackass, but he does have a nice house."

I shot my best friend a look. "Shut up, will ya?"

Sirius and Remus couldn't help but laugh, though they both had concerned glints in their eyes as they turned back towards Lily.

"Go ahead to Blarney's. I'll meet you there," I suggested.

Neither moved, blinking skeptically.

"Aw, hell, I'm not going to risk going to Azkaban by murdering the guy," Lily sighed, shooting them both a look.

"How comforting," Remus said with a teasing smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Go get drunk, will ya?"

They still looked unconvinced.

"Do you want my wand?" Lily snorted.

"What good would that do? You'd just punch him like you did back at Hogwarts," Sirius pointed out.

"Sirius," I warned, jutting my foot out in his direction. He hopped out of the way just in time, his laughter ringing in the air. "Get the hell outta here."

Sirius shrugged, turning towards Remus. "Coming?"

Remus sighed, glancing at me uncertainly. I nodded, forcing a smile on my face. They both slowly stalked off, leaving myself and Lily alone at my front door. I watched them apparate before turning back to Lily. "How are you doing, Lily?" I asked with a strained smile.

She shook her head, her lips forming a tight line. "I didn't come here for small talk," she muttered irritably.

Yeah, that didn't surprise me. "Alright," I said softly. "Then what did you come here?"

She lifted her gaze slowly and I was struck by the beauty held in her emerald eyes. I was then struck by the regret that laid so evident in her expression. "I'm assuming you heard about Kay and Lance," she spoke in a sigh. She blinked. "Well, of course you did, Kay is staying here." The bitterness in her voice did not go undetected.

"Lily-"

"Lance wasn't the only one who knew Riley came back ten months ago," she blurted out.

I blinked. "Who else knew?" I dared to ask, trying to think of the many possibilities.

She sighed. "Well, for one, all of the Gilmores," she murmured.

Unsurprising.

She met my gaze, remorse displayed more than ever in every blink she offered. "And your sister," she spoke softly.

I froze. "What?" I whispered hoarsely.

She winced guiltily, nodding slowly. "Dezzy knew Riley was back."

In that moment, I suddenly was reminded of how I felt when I heard Lance had known Riley was back: betrayed and angry. But that was nothing compared to finding out that my own sister, my flesh and blood, knew that the girl who had singlehandedly destroyed my best friend's life and ripped eighteen years of friendship apart in the matter of mere seconds was back in town. Betrayed and angry I definitely was. And then some. I also felt deceived and exposed and confused and shocked and disappointed. But most of all, I felt so incredibly hurt.

"You're…you're joking, right?" I murmured even though I knew she wasn't. But I didn't want to believe it.

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not," she whispered.

My lips pursed instinctively, the anger getting the better of me. "Are you just telling me this to get back at me?" I blurted out.

Based on the hurt glint in her eye, that was the wrong thing to say. "Do you honestly think that?" she snapped in a strained whisper, her teeth gritted together in sheer rage. "I know how betrayed you felt when Riley left. And I know you leaned on your sister a lot during that time because she, like Riley, has known you since she was born. I thought you deserved to know now before you found out from someone else unexpectedly. I didn't want you finding out the way Kay had just to feel betrayed by someone you cared about. Maybe it's coming off petty, but unlike you, I'm just trying to be considerate. Do you know how much it took for me to come see you today? Do you know how long I've just been standing out here wondering if I even wanted to knock on your bloody door?"

"Lily-" I whispered but she cut me off sharply.

"Dammit, James, I hate what you did to me. What you said. I'm never going to get over that," she spoke angrily, her voice escalating. "But while I've constantly cursed you for that moment, I never once hated you for it. And now maybe I'm thinking I should have."

"Lily-"

"This guy standing in front of me is not the person I fell in love with. Who are you, James? What have you become?" she spoke hoarsely, her voice cracking as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I came here because I thought it was the right thing to do and you dare stand there and belittle my reasoning behind it?"

"Please, Lily-"

"Coming here was a huge mistake. I'm sorry for actually trying to be a good person to you when it was obvious you were never the same to me." She whirled around to storm off.

"No, please don't go," I whispered, a throaty grasp overtaking my words as I reached a hand out to grab her arm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just…this week has been…I don't know…I never meant..." I dithered, the words not forming correctly in my head. I gritted my teeth guiltily, saying the only word that made sense to me in that moment, "Lily."

She stared at my hand on her arm fearfully before lifting her gaze to stare up at me. I saw pain beyond her years staring back at me in her sad green eyes. And I knew I caused that. I had loved her and because I did, I let her go. But she would never know that. She merely thought I didn't love her anymore. My heart broke into two at the unfathomable idea of what I would ever have done if Lily told me to my face she didn't love me.

"I'm sorry I came here," she whispered, her bottom lip trembling.

"I'm not."

She frowned, slowly pulling her arm away from me. "I know you're not sorry," she spoke, her words on the hostile side. I knew she wasn't referring to that moment. And she was right. I wasn't sorry that I did it. I was only sorry how I did it.

My fingers fell from her arm to my side reluctantly, my gaze never leaving her. When she locked eyes with me, I had the overwhelming urge to grab her and kiss her. And never let go.

Only problem was, I had already let her go.

"It's good to see you, Lily," I said before I could stop myself.

Surprise rested in her eyes. "Don't say that," she murmured, shaking her head. "I don't want to hear that. That's not fair to me."

I didn't respond. I knew she didn't want me to.

She took a deep breath in and exhaled sharply, blinking agonizingly. Slowly, her head shook defensively and I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut. "Dezzy knew about Riley. That's what I came to tell you and I've now done that. Good-bye, James."

"No, please don't go," I pleaded, stepping in front of her.

She looked up at me, desperation seeping from her expression. I was so close to her I could smell the lavender shampoo in her hair and the fruity scent of her perfume. It brought back so many memories. Memories I had tainted.

I took a hesitant step back, finding myself in very uncharted waters. My eyes never left hers and I Could feel the tension rising between us. "I'm glad you told me," I spoke honestly. And I was. It was Dezzy I was angry with, not Lily. I was just taking it out on her. "You were right. I'd rather hear it straight from you then find out in an unexpected way. So thank you."

I couldn't read the look on her face as she glanced up at me. "Are you just saying that because you think it's what I want to hear?"

Partly. "I'm saying it because I know you would never hurt me intentionally."

"The same can't be said about you," she blurted out.

Ouch.

I didn't really have anything to say to that, knowing that my only defense was that it actually was intentional. Maybe I didn't want to hurt her, but a part of me knew what I was doing. "I've missed you," I found myself saying, cringing immediately after expecting an angry outburst.

It didn't come. I gazed over at her and I just saw such disappointment staring back at me. "What the hell am I supposed to say to that, James?" she muttered.

"I-I don't know," I admitted. "I really don't know."

Her bottom lip trembled in trepidation. "You don't get to miss me," she whispered, resentment slowly dripping from her words. "If you don't love me, you don't get to miss me."

The words cut like a knife through my heart. And she knew it as she whirled around and escaped from my sight.

Oh, how I wanted to call out after her. I wanted to grab ahold of her and kiss her and hug her and tell her I didn't mean any of it. I wanted to tell her I loved her and will always love her. Seeing her again brought back so many memories we shared together. Memories I would never be able to rid my mind of no matter how hard I tried. Memories of the kisses we shared and the times we just snuggled in each others' arms on the couch. The times we stayed up late and made love when we should have been resting up for a hard day's work. The weekends we stole ourselves away to the mountains or to the beach just to get away for a bit. The times Lily forced her way into the Auror Department with a sandwich and a lemonade for me when she knew I didn't have time to go out for lunch. The nights we strolled downtown for ice cream, the snowy nights she insisted on forcing me out as we strolled hand-in-hand and tried to grab snowflakes on our tongues, the rainy Sunday mornings where we would cuddle in front of the fire doing a crossword puzzle, the visits to Corner Joe's and the Friday Nights Dinners, the Anniversary surprises I came up with for her, the gifts I would shower her with on her birthday and Valentine's Day. The list goes on.

And now every single one of those memories was tainted by the look on her face the moment I told her I didn't love her.

I might very well be the biggest jackass on the planet.

As I traipsed down my walkway to meet up with the guys at Blarney's, I was hit with the knowing realization that I would rather be a jackass if that meant Lily was safe than have her in my life knowing she wasn't.

---

++FABIAN++

"The man's alive!" Sirius' voice boomed out as James came into view.

His eyes were narrowed as he gazed around the table and saw it wasn't just Remus and Sirius. No, I was there along with Frank, Peter, and Drew. It felt odd to have the guys around without Lance sitting amongst us, but we attempted to keep the talk of Lance and Kay to a minimum seeing as Drew was there and clearly struggling with the idea that he was supposed to be angry with his brother for how he hurt Kay. I hadn't even known about Kay and Lance until Sirius informed me earlier that night. I was surprised when he knocked on my door again, telling me he needed me at Blarney's. I merely shrugged and followed him out.

I was surprised to find out that I wasn't the only one who had been in the dark all day about Lance and Kay. Much to my surprise, Drew didn't know either. Apparently Lance had skived off running the bookstore that day (not that I blamed him), but before Drew could wander over to Lance's to figure out what was going on, Remus was knocking on his door telling him himself.

I didn't voice this aloud, but I had a strong suspicion that if Lance had known about Riley's return, so too did Drew. But he was smart enough not to mention this.

"What is this, an ambush?" James muttered irritably, strolling up to our table and immediately throwing back the remainder of Remus' beer.

"I formed a search party. Just in case we had to go looking for your mangled body," Sirius offered sheepishly, clearly noting the haggard look on his best friend's face as his eyebrow arched at the chugging of beer.

"What did Lily want?" Remus asked carefully.

James' brow creased crossly as he avoided the question. Instead, his gaze slowly fell upon Drew. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Uh-oh. That didn't sound good.

"Er…well, not having to search for your dead body apparently," he said with a sheepish smile.

James looked thoroughly unamused. "Tell me, Drew," he spoke coolly. "Are all Gilmores manipulative liars?"

I'm going to repeat my uh-oh from before.

"Excuse me?" Drew spoke, his voice on the verge of irritable.

"You heard me."

Uh, yeah, we all heard you.

Drew's lips pursed slowly. "This is about Lance, isn't it."

James let out a cynical cackle. "No, Drew. This isn't about Lance. It's about you and Dezzy and apparently how you both knew Riley was back in town and didn't bloody tell anyone!"

Oh, shit.

"What?" Sirius spoke up, his eyes grazing over to Drew.

Drew didn't say anything, clearly at a struggle as to what the right thing to say was. I was with him. What could he say? He knew how hurt James and Sirius (and even Remus and Peter) were over Riley's return. But Riley was his sister. Even if she had been nonexistent for four years, she was still related to him. So who came first? His friends? Or his family? It was a question I was thankful to stay out of.

"James," Drew finally spoke evenly, "I'm sorry if you feel like I betrayed you or if your sister betrayed you, but what were we supposed to do? None of this was our decision. I wasn't the one who chose to leave, I wasn't the one who chose to return, I wasn't the one who decided to keep that return a secret, and I wasn't the one who swore my family to keep quiet. You're not angry at me and you're not angry with Lance. You're pissed at Riley and taking it out on me instead because it's easier directing your anger towards us, the people you actually care about, than-"

"Well, hell yeah. I'm not speaking to Riley so of course I'm here scolding you. But it's not because of her. It's because of you! How could you keep your mouth shut for ten months? How could you make Dezzy keep her mouth shut for-"

"I didn't make Dezzy do anything," Drew defended immediately. "She found out about Riley and she kept it quiet all on her own. Unfortunately, you can't blame me for that."

"Hell yeah I can," James snapped.

Drew rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just stop blaming everyone, James?" he sighed. "What happened happened. We can't change it now."

"I'm not trying to change anything," he snapped. "But I think I'm allowed to be pissed over the shitty circumstances."

He snorted. "To you, everything is shitty circumstances! It's like if you're not in a crappy mood you find reasons to be in a crappy mood."

I wasn't about to say anything but I had to agree.

"My best friend of eighteen years walked away from me without so much as a goddamned goodbye and then waltzes in as if it was nothing. AND YOU KNEW ABOUT IT! For ten bloody months, you knew about it! That warrants a crappy mood, you ruddy prat!"

The stares from the surrounding tables did not go unnoticed by me.

"God dammit, James, you think I'm the prat?" he snapped, his eyes filling with full-blown frustration. "Take a long look in the mirror. It's like if you're not angry at someone or at everyone, your life isn't complete. Maybe you should just stop being so bloody angry at the world long enough to realize that this is life. This is your life! It may suck far more than it's pleasant, but you can't just pretend that none of the bullshit is happening. So stop yelling at everyone else about the shitty circumstances you so speak of and learn to deal with it! Because yelling and insulting the rest of us isn't going to change the shitty circumstances!"

The shock in James' eyes was unmistakable. Even I was a little surprised by the words coming from Drew's mouth. He wasn't one to get into any sort of confrontation with people. Everyone liked him. It was hard not to. He was the funny, sweet guy everyone leaned on. He offered words of comfort when the moment was fragile and offered a joke when the moment was uncomfortable. He didn't cause fights and he didn't involve himself in them. He was loyal. Nothing else to it.

But it was clear James didn't think so. And I'm not sure I've ever seen him so hurt and angry and betrayed.

"You think I don't know that life sucks?" he growled, his voice rough with grief. "You don't think I know that!? The guy who has lost three brothers and his father? The guy whose sister and brother-in-law were kidnapped? The guy whose girlfriend and coworkers were attacked? Whose coworker and friend, your brother, who he has known since the day he was born was killed in action? Whose brother walked out on him eight years ago? Whose best friend walked out on him without so much as a goodbye? Whose father abandoned him? Whose sucky life is in the hands of a cold-blooded murderer!?I know shit happens! I know life sucks! I have learned to deal with it! I have learned to deal with the bloody tragedies. What I haven't learned to deal with is all the goddamned betrayal from my friends that I have had the displeasure of being sucked into! And that includes you! So fuck you, Drew, for making the obvious just a little more obvious!"

Before any of us could get in another word edgewise, James turned on his heel and stormed out.

Silence filled our table. Actually, it filled the bar. Everyone at the surrounding tables was staring at us, curious as to what had just happened. Inquisitive eyebrows were raised, suspicious whispers started up, and the five of us at our table sat in silence as we digested the words that were just spoken by James.

"Well, it's official," I finally spoke when it was obvious no one else was going to. "Worst week ever."

Nods of assent settled around the table. Followed by silence.

And then – "Dezzy really knew about Riley, Drew?" Sirius asked, his voice strained.

Drew sighed, glancing over at Sirius. "If the whole thing weren't so depressing, it would actually be a funny story."

"Do tell," Sirius elaborated.

He shrugged, nursing his firewhisky and soda. "Typical girlfriend-thinking-her-boyfriend is cheating on her story. Smelled perfume on my clothes, caught me lying when I wasn't at the bookstore even though I said I was, coming home late after work, secret letters, et cetera. I had to tell her it was Riley."

"Cheating on your girlfriend with your sister. How incestuous," Frank said to break the tension of the situation.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Sirius asked Drew coolly, ignoring Frank's attempt at humor.

Drew sighed. "I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't. All I can say is, I'm not happy with the choices that Riley has made. Not even a little bit. I won't defend the way she left. I never will. And I won't even defend the fact that she came back and pleaded with all of us to keep quiet. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better for all of us if she neglected to tell anyone of her return. But she didn't. She reached out to her family and once she told us she was back, there wasn't anything any of us could do to unhear that. All we could do was promise her we'd keep quiet. So we did. And in the end, I was okay with that decision. And you know why? Because she was the one who made the choice to leave without a goodbye or an explanation. That was all her. So there was no way in hell I was going to be the one to bail her out. She got herself into that mess. She was the one who deserved to attempt to dig her way out."

The table grew quiet. It had only been approximately 39 hours since Riley returned and nothing anyone had said made sense of the situation. Until perhaps now.

"Have you been practicing that speech since Riley returned in fear of us all finding out?" I asked, a hint of a smile on my face.

Drew rolled his eyes. "No," he snickered, hesitantly taking a sip of his drink. "It did sound good though, didn't it?"

I suppressed the urge to laugh, though Frank beside me couldn't help but chuckle. Remus, Peter, and Sirius all remained indifferent. Drew cringed guiltily, returning his gaze to his drink.

Eventually Sirius sighed. "I'm not so sure James will see it that way."

The guy had a point.

"And you?" Drew asked hesitantly.

Sirius met his gaze and I sensed the tension between the two of them. Out of anyone, I knew that Sirius was the one who was affected most from all of this. It was the girl he was in love with that was in question. "Did you know Keegan worked with Riley?" he eventually spoke, though the irritation in his voice hadn't ceased.

"What?" I found myself blurting out in shock.

The rest of the table exchanged looks among myself, Sirius, and Drew. "Yeah," he muttered. "I…I figured it out."

"More secrets," Sirius grunted.

I couldn't help agree. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Keegan and I had dated but in the end, we broke up over secrets. I guess this was just one more to add to the pile.

"Please," Drew pleaded, "Try to understand."

The two of them locked eyes and eventually, Sirius nodded. "I do," he whispered, slowly climbing out of his chair. "I just really hate that I do."

And then he was out the door just as fast as James was.

---

++SHANE++

It was late when I heard a knock on my door. My heart skipped a beat from the living room table where I was rewriting some outdated South American trade parameters. I didn't get knocks on my door often and I never got knocks on my door at ten o'clock at night. And during a perilous war, an unexpected knock on the door was fearful.

I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I slowly tiptoed towards the door. I held my breath as I opened the door.

And let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was Lily standing there. Until I realized it was Lily standing there. She has never stood outside my apartment door before.

"Lily," I spoke, my heart plummeting. Oh, shit. What now? "What are you-"

"Do you remember yesterday when you said you felt like I only came to you during a crisis?"

Did I want to hear what she had to say? "Yeah," I said hesitantly.

She let out a small smile. "You want to change that?"

Huh? "Huh?"

She shrugged. "You up for going out for a drink? Or two?"

I leaned up against the doorframe curiously. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that look on your face, Lily," I spoke softly, noting the glint of betrayal evident in her gorgeous emerald eyes. "I know something's wrong."

She frowned. "It's not a crisis," she reassured.

"I know. If it were a crisis, you'd be snogging me."

"Shane!"

I laughed, ignoring the glare she was sending my way as her cheeks turned pink. I was grateful to see her lips quickly turning upward, however.

"Seriously, what's going on, Lily?"

She sighed. "I went to see James tonight."

I felt a tug on my heart. "Oh?" I hoped she couldn't hear the tremor in my voice.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah," she murmured. "I found out that Dezzy knew about Riley's return. I felt as if James deserved to know."

I wondered if it was more than that. The guy left her utterly heartbroken by telling her he didn't love her anymore and she actually felt like he deserved something in return? I didn't know what to say and I knew it probably showed on my face as I blinked repeatedly, my mouth hanging open slightly.

"Shane, say something," she pleaded.

I realized then that I was angry. But for what? It wasn't my life. It was hers. I shouldn't care so much. Except I did. Too much apparently. "Like what?" I asked, desperately hoping my voice sounded light. "There's not much to say to that."

"You don't want to know how it went?"

No. "I'm assuming not so well considering the situation." That time I knew my voice didn't sound light.

She frowned. "No," she murmured warily. "It definitely didn't go well. First, he said it was good to see me. Jackass. Then he asked if I was there to tell him about Dezzy just to get back at him. Even bigger jackass."

I sighed. "What…what did you really expect from him, Lily?"

It wasn't meant to be a hurtful question, but based on the surprise in her eyes, I could tell she felt a little thrown. "Nothing," she said slowly, shooting me a curious look. "I expected nothing. I was just there to tell him the truth."

"Because he's always extended that same courtesy to you?" I snorted.

Clearly it was another slap in the face. She blinked, hurt and bewilderment crossing her face. "Are you mad at me for something, Shane?" she asked.

Yes. For selfish reasons. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know. Because you're acting mad?"

I sighed guiltily, knowing I was acting childish. "I'm not mad," I murmured. "I just…" I stopped short, letting out another sigh.

I could see her heart sink. "Just what?" she asked vulnerably.

Her eyes locked with mine and I crossed my arms guiltily. "Why did you really go and see James?" I asked softly.

The confusion grew in her eyes. "What? I-I told you. To tell him about Dezzy."

"But why? What was the purpose of that?"

"I-I don't know. Because he's already had to deal with so much betrayal when it comes to Riley. I didn't want him to find out about Dezzy unexpectedly the way we all had to find out about Riley unexpectedly."

"You do realize that someone else would have told James, right? It didn't have to be you."

"Why are you so against me having gone seen him, Shane?" she asked, her voice strained with desperation.

"Because you deserve better!" I blurted out, my frustration finally catching up with my mouth. "Because I saw you the morning after that jackass broke your bloody heart and I never want to see you that hurt ever again! Because I care about you, Lily, maybe much more than you even realize! Because he doesn't deserve one ounce of courtesy from you! Not now, not ever!" I quickly tried to catch my breath, slightly embarrassed by the words that just came out of my mouth. I let out a defeated sigh, turning to face her and whispering hoarsely, "He had his chance with you and he blew it. He doesn't deserve to know that you still love him and miss him. And you gave that to him today just by showing up there. And he doesn't deserve it! Not after the way he treated you. I-I hate him for how he treated you and you should, too."

She took a step back in shock, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open. I wasn't surprised to see soft tears blurring over her emerald eyes. She blinked them away quickly, pressing her lips firmly together. I knew it was her way of trying not to show any sort of vulnerability. "I-I don't think you understand how much I want to hate him, Shane," she whispered. "I just don't know how."

I nodded slowly. "I know," I spoke. And I meant it.

She met my gaze and I suddenly felt guilty for the way I just spoke to her. It was obvious she was hurting and she didn't need me reminding her of that. She let out a defeated sigh. "I didn't realize you felt this strongly, Shane," she murmured, running her fingers through her curls. "About the situation I mean."

"I didn't either," I admitted defeatedly with a shrug.

She crossed her arms vulnerably and didn't say anything for a while. I stared at her, trying to figure out what to say to her next, but everything felt so flat and desperate. So I remained quiet, waiting for her to gather her own thoughts. "Shane, can I ask you something?" she eventually spoke, glancing up at me with determination.

I nodded, albeit hesitantly.

"Before, what did you mean when you said you cared about me more than I even realized?"

Shit. I hit panic mode, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse. "We've been working together for three and a half years. And we've known each other since we were prefects together. I just meant that…that I'm invested in you, Lily. I don't think of you just as a coworker. I think of you as a close friend. That's all."

She blinked, frowning hesitantly. "Are you sure that's all?"

My heart began to race uncontrollably. She was figuring me out no matter how hard I've tried to keep my feelings for her at bay. I opened my mouth to say something, anything to dispute Lily's implication. But nothing came out. Eventually I could only choke out, "Lily, all I'm trying to say is that you…you deserve better than James."

Her brow furrowed as she realized I was avoiding the question and silence quickly followed. I had nothing left to say and based on the frantic curiosity in her eyes, she was just trying to ponder all that had been said that evening. She cleared her throat nervously before whispering, "You mean like you?"

I froze. "What?"

She shot me a desperate look. "Shane." That was all she said but it held so much significance. I knew the cat was out of the bag. She knew that I had feelings for her, feelings that I had tried so hard to suppress for all of the time we spent together. Embarrassment and guilt spread through every limb in my body as I realized in an instant, everything had changed between us. Four years as colleagues and seven years of friendship were just left up to an array of complicated questions.

I didn't dare look her in the eye, my gaze focusing on the cracked paint on the wall behind her. Much like that paint, I was afraid Lily and I may start ripping apart at the seams. I took a deep breath in, searching for the right words to explain myself. I came up blank. "Lily," I said softly, a weird sense of shame sending butterflies to my stomach, "I don't want anything to change between us."

I knew I sounded desperate but it was something I had to say. Because it was true. I didn't want anything to change between us. Not now, not ever. She was one of my closest friends and I knew that we would never be more, which was fine. I understood that. I had accepted it a long time ago. I just had never expected she would learn the truth about how I felt about her.

She didn't respond, curiosity filling her eyes. Slowly, she bit down on the inside of her lip and I tried to read her expression. I realized I couldn't, which was surprising. I could read Lily Evans like a children's book. Her emotions were always displayed on the surface. And right now, it was impossible figuring out what she was thinking. Eventually, I couldn't handle the discomfort that had filled the air between us so I plastered on a fake smile and clearing my throat awkwardly, asked, "So, can we please just forget this happened and…and go out for that drink?"

She met my gaze, an unreadable smile carefully spreading across her face. She slowly shook her head, the smile reading a tad anxious.

My heart sank. I ruined things between us, didn't I.

"No," she spoke softly, taking a cautious step towards me. "No, actually I think we should stay in."

I blinked, confused. "What?"

Her smile turned suggestive as she closed the gap between us and before I could register what was going on, she hastily pressed her lips to mine.

---

++JAMES++

I sat on the balcony with the last of the beer, thinking about the conversation I had shared with Drew. Not even sure that it could really be called a conversation, but everything Drew had scolded me for was right. It was easy being pissed at Riley and Lance and Drew and Dezzy, but it wasn't them I was really mad it. It was me for ever thinking that maybe things might one day be alright.

"Hey."

I glanced up at the sound of Sirius' voice and merely nodded.

"You alright?"

I frowned. "No."

He sighed. "Yeah, I know," he muttered, slipping into the bench beside me.

I gazed at him pensively. "Am I being completely unreasonable?" I muttered.

Sirius snorted, reaching into the box to grab his own beer. "You are so asking the wrong person, Prongs."

I sighed. "I shouldn't be this angry," I spoke, taking a sip of beer. "We all knew this was a possibility. We knew she might be back one day. We're friends with her family. It wasn't like we could avoid this forever, right?"

Sirius contemplated the question, sipping his beer slowly before turning to me. "You're angry because of the timing," he muttered.

I glanced at him, my eyebrows crinkling in confusion.

He shrugged. "Everything is falling apart around here. The last thing you want is for Riley to see that. We were supposed to be happy and have the entire world in our hands. We were supposed to be married with children while she gets to be miserable. But as it turns out, we're the miserable ones and she's the happy one."

My blood began to boil at the very words. And I realized that he was right. She was the one who left. Why did she get to be the one who was happy?

As I thought about it, it hit me that I wasn't angry that she was happy. I was just angry that I wasn't. "Life is just so unfair," I muttered with a sigh.

Sirius nodded. "Yep," he agreed. "That pretty much sums it up."

We sat there in silence, finishing off our beer as we let the winter breeze chill us to the bone. He didn't say anything and I was grateful for it, trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do next in my life. It had been so static for so long. I was afraid to change that in fear of things just going downhill once again. But I was also afraid not to change that because I couldn't live like this anymore. "Sirius?"

He glanced at me. "Hm?"

"How do you really feel about Riley getting married?"

He froze, his beer bottle midway to his lips as he peeked over at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

I shrugged. "Because I know how hard that must have been to hear."

Sirius hesitated, finishing off the last drop of beer and dropping the empty bottle into the box. "I could pretend it didn't bother me but we both know it'd be a lie," he muttered.

My eyes grazed upon him as he slumped down on the bench. "I thought running into her yesterday was going to be the worst thing I'd encounter this week. Until she told me she was engaged," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "That was such a slap in the face. As if what she did four years ago never happened. As if..." he trailed off, letting out a deep sigh, "as if we never happened."

I watched him as he spoke, realizing that this was the first time he actually spoke directly of his relationship to Riley since the day she left.

"And I realize how stupid that sounds. We've been long over, but it was easy to avoid thinking about when she wasn't around. Now? I just…"

"Can't stop running through that night over and over in your head?"

Sirius frowned, nodding slowly. "Yeah," he muttered. "I'm stuck living in the past and she's engaged. How is that fair?"

I hesitated. "It's not," I agreed. "But, and you may not want to hear this, Sirius, but you do realize that the only reason she's even engaged is because you gave her the courage to face the idea of love."

His jaw tightened irritably, reaching down for another beer. He popped open the top and chugged nearly half of it. "I don't think it can be called courage when she ran from it," he grunted.

I hesitated. That was a damned good point. "I never said she wasn't scared of it," I argued, but it was a pretty lame argument. "I just said she was willing to face that fear."

He shot me a look. "Clearly she's not scared of it with Rhett."

I was just continuing to dig myself a hole. "I should have kept my mouth shut," I muttered with an awkward laugh. "I don't know the way her mind works anymore. I may have once been able to know what she was thinking and feeling at all times, but not anymore."

Sirius' eyes narrowed as he turned to me curiously. "Do you want that back? Do you want to know what she's thinking or feeling?"

"What?"

He shrugged. "It sounds almost as if you missed her."

I shot him a look. "You may have been cursing the ground she walks on for the past four years, but even you can't say you didn't miss her, if even just a little bit."

"I didn't," he lied. "She made a decision and I chose to hate her for it."

My lips pursed before I blurted out, "You don't hate her. You want to, but you don't."

Sirius scowled but he didn't argue. He knew I was right. "How about we just go on hating all the people that lied to us for ten months?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Alright, it's a deal."

We didn't speak of it again that night but I had a feeling the conversation wasn't really over. In fact, it hadn't even really began.

---

++SHANE++

My heart skipped about a million beats as my hands instinctively tangled in Lily's beautiful red hair, our lips meeting in a fiery passion. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders as she drew herself closer to me, our tongues wrapping around one another slowly and yet surely. I felt the ultimate yearning building up from deep within my jumpy stomach, coming out in a surge of lust as our lips jumbled perfectly together as if we've been kissing for years. I never wanted to stop but suddenly, my head was catching up with my heart and I stepped out of her arms. She looked startled, quickly followed by embarrassment.

I sighed, hanging my head reluctantly. "Lily, what are we doing?"

She cringed, clearly hating that question. Her gaze turned away from mine, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. "I-I don't know," she muttered hesitantly, her voice hoarse and desperate. She let out a defeated sigh, staring back up at me vulnerably. "I just…you get me, Shane. You always have. I just never saw it until now because I was blinded by James."

I couldn't help but smile.

"How is it you can always make me feel so good?" she continued softly, a smile tugging at her lips. "Even when I'm feeling so bad?"

My heart fluttered at the compliment. "I never want anyone to make you feel bad about yourself," I whispered, brushing a stray hair from her face. "You don't deserve that, Lily. You deserve to feel good. Always."

Her face grew sad, the dejected frown in her expression nearly breaking my heart. "You keep saying that," she whispered, slowly shaking her head. "But how do you know what I really deserve? James…he stopped loving me," she choked out, barely able to get the words out. "And I don't know what I did, but I did something. So maybe I don't deserve to feel good. Maybe I do just deserve to feel bad. Even if just for a little while."

"No," I reassured, my voice cracking in a whisper as my left hand instinctively entangled in her hair in a desperate manner. Merlin, I hated James Potter for making her feel this way. "You shouldn't let anyone ever make you feel that way, Lily."

She leaned into my touch, her sad eyes staring up at me. "It seems like you're the only one who can remind me of that," she whispered. "It seems like lately you're the only person who has never made me truly feel good about the person I am."

We were starting to get into dangerous territory. She was still a sad and broken ex-girlfriend and I couldn't take advantage of that situation no matter how much I wanted to. It was hard not to, however, when she was looking up at me the way she was, a yearning ache evident in her eyes. "You shouldn't need me to do that," I spoke, trying to keep my voice steady. "You should be in control of your own emotions. It's really the only thing any of us have that we can be in control of."

She blinked, the expression on her face moving from sadness to curiosity to longing and finally resting on gratification. She stepped out of my touch hesitantly, her eyes still enraptured with mine. She licked her lips slowly, clearly trying to form her next words carefully. "We can control this moment," she eventually said softly.

The implication was enough to make my heart race. "I'm trying to," I said desperately. "Maybe just not in the way you want me to."

"Shane…"

Merlin, she looked so sexy, her bottom lip jutting out vulnerably. "I'm not going to be your rebound, Lily," I choked out, shaking my head. I have always wanted her but not like this.

Shock shone in her eyes as she took a hesitant step forward. "Shane, you have been there for me through everything I've ever had to deal with. You've been my coworker and my friend and most of all, my confidante. You always know how I'm feeling before I even know it. You make me laugh when I need to get out of a bad mood. You've been my crying shoulder when tragedy has struck. You listen to my complaints patiently and I trust you with all my secrets. You know when to boost me up when I need to feel better and you know when to keep your mouth shut when I don't want to feel better. I forget about the war when I'm with you. You make me feel noticed. Special. Appreciated. You've looked out for me every single day for three and a half years and I've taken you for granted. You've given me all I've ever asked for and maybe it's my turn to finally repay the favor."

I was in awe over the unexpected speech, my heart filling with appreciation and undeniable admiration for the girl I have come to wholeheartedly respect. She was making it impossible to listen to my head. A head that was telling me she still loved James. "It's that word 'maybe' that scares me, Lily," I said honestly.

She frowned knowingly. "You can understand my hesitation," she spoke softly.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "You're still going through that break-up, Lily. Right now, you just need me to be your friend. And there will come a day where you won't need to use the word 'maybe' when it comes to being with someone else. Perhaps that person will be me or maybe it will be someone else. But until the word maybe disappears from your vocabulary, you need me to be your friend. And I'm okay with that."

Her eyes narrowed skeptically, her head slowly shaking. She didn't say anything immediately, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I felt my heart speed up, so nervous for what she was going to say. I just prayed I hadn't just screwed everything up. I was slightly taken aback when she reached for my hand. "It'll be you."

I froze, meeting her gaze. "What?"

"The day I'm ready to move on, it'll be you I turn to."

Bloody hell, I wanted to grab her and kiss her again. I wanted to embrace her tightly and hold her close, never to let her go. But I didn't. She was still getting over James and I couldn't let her break my heart the way I knew she would if I jumped into anything with her. "I'll be waiting," I spoke, nodding.

Her eyes locked with mine and neither of us spoke, both of us trying to figure out what the hell there was left to say. It was then that I realized we were still holding hands. She clearly realized it, too, as she quickly let go.

"Do you enjoy messing with my head?" Lily finally spoke with a teasing grin.

I stepped out of my apartment, reaching out to run my fingers through her hair slowly, a desperate need to touch her. "You may not know it, but hell, you're messing with my head right now, too," I said with a smile.

She couldn't help but chuckle and I was grateful that the awkward tension has been eliminated. We were back to the people we used to be. "You're an amazing guy, Shane. You must know that."

I blushed. Which was impressive because I didn't embarrass easily. But she was making me feel like a smarmy schoolboy. "You're an amazing girl, Lily. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

She shrugged dismissively. "Perhaps. Though this amazing girl is feeling slightly rejected at the moment." She grinned teasingly.

I groaned inwardly, immediately shaking my head. "Good Godric, you must know how much it is killing me inside not to just grab you and kiss you all over and never let you go. Because I do care about you, Lily. So much. But I can't do any of that right now because I know what you need is time. Not me. Not another distraction."

She smiled knowingly, the ends of her ears turning pink. Which just made me smile. "You may be right," she spoke reluctantly with a curt shrug. "But just so you know, the day will come that all I'll need is you. And when it does, I'm definitely not going to let you let me go."

My heart skipped a beat as she leaned in to kiss my cheek. She smiled and said, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I could only nod as I watched her walk away, praying that she was right. That perhaps one day it might happen between us.

I've waited three years. I can wait a little while longer. Because I sure as hell wasn't going to jump into a relationship with her if it wasn't the right time. We'd both end up regretting it and that was not how I wanted to remember Lily Evans.

---

++DEZZY++

I wasn't looking forward to talking to my brother. I sometimes hated how stubborn he could be. He could hold a grudge longer than anyone I knew. But after Drew came home and told me about the loud and confrontational conversation he shared with James (which was very unlike Drew), I knew I had to talk to James before his anger towards me just escalated.

I was not surprised to find James sitting out on his balcony with a beer in his hand. It's where he often found himself when he needed a break from it all. Which just meant he was out there a lot.

When he saw me standing there, he let out a deep sigh. "I'm not in the mood right now, Dez," he murmured. "It's been a long two days. I'm exhausted and frustrated and angry and I don't want to deal with you or any of it right now. I just want to sit here and drink my beer and pretend that my life doesn't suck. So please, just come back some other time."

I ignored him, taking a seat on the chair beside him. He let out a frustrated groan, bringing his knees up to his chest defensively.

"I'm sorry, James," I whispered sincerely. "You might not believe me, but I am."

He sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "I do believe you," he said softly, ignoring eye contact with me. "That doesn't make it okay."

"I know," I murmured. "But please know I only kept it a secret from you because I-I didn't want to give you any more heartbreak than you've already had to endure."

"Oh, yeah, finding out now definitely kept me from heartbreak."

I cringed guiltily at the sarcasm as I turned to him. "You've had to deal with so much in so little time. Back when I found out from Drew that Riley was back, Wyatt had disappeared, Brite died, our father left us, Riley had abandoned you, and Jaron was kidnapped and killed. I didn't want to push you over the edge. I didn't want to be the reason you hit your breaking point. So please…please don't hate me. I only did it for you."

His look softened and he slowly turned to me. "You wouldn't have been the reason I may have hit that breaking point you speak of," he murmured. "Riley would have been."

"I just…" I trailed off, uncertain as to why I really had kept it a secret for so long. I had wanted to tell him. I just didn't know how. I sighed. "I don't know. Call me crazy, but I had just wanted things to be okay. Even if just for a little while."

He frowned, returning his gaze to the dark horizon. He didn't respond immediately, taking a swig of beer before saying, "Things have never been okay. And they never will be okay."

My heart ached for the broken man in front of me. He sounded so miserable and sinister. He didn't sound like my brother.

"And just so you know, Dez," he continued with a hoarse whisper, "Finding out now, after dealing with far more heartbreak in the past few months than I had to deal with in the past, I would have much rather found out ten months ago."

He chucked the beer bottle over the balcony rail and stood up abruptly. He slid past me towards the door to his bedroom. He stopped in the entrance, turning back to me with a sigh. "I don't hate you," he murmured. "I love you, Dez. But I'm angry. And maybe it's at you and Drew and Lance or maybe it's at the world or maybe it's at Riley or maybe it's at Voldemort or hell, maybe it's even at myself, but whatever it is, sometimes it's easier to hate people than it is to love them. But do know that I do love you. Even when I'm angry at you."

He headed back into his bedroom, leaving me to ponder his words. They sounded so mechanical, his expression so unemotional. It was as if the hurt and betrayal and pain he's had to go through had turned him into an unfeeling robot. And I hated that he had turned out to be that way. He deserved better. He deserved to live his life.

Because right now, he definitely wasn't living it. No, he was just hating it.

---

++RILEY++

That night as I soaked in the tub, well after my coworkers had gone I relayed the events of the entire night back in my head. And it left me wondering what the hell was going to happen next. Was it over? Were my old friends done seeking me out? Were more secrets going to unravel? Was I going to cause another break up? Another blowup?

I sighed, knowing that there was more to come. This wasn't it. None of it was over. I just had to sit and wait for the next bomb to fall.

"Honey?"

A relieved smile filled my face at the sound of Rhett's voice, not surprised to hear him barging into my apartment. He didn't live with me (Mother and Gran would blow a gasket if we moved in together before nuptials) but he might as well have considering most nights he wasn't working or with his mother he was there. "In here!" I called out.

Seconds later, he appeared at the bathroom door with a smile. "You look so cute with your bubbles," he teased, perching himself on the edge of the tub and leaning over to kiss me.

I chuckled, kissing him back. "How's your mother?"

He frowned, shrugging. "No change."

She was in St. Mungo's with every possible organ failing her. Even the wizarding world couldn't shield her from the pain she was going through. We all knew she was dying and wouldn't live through the next few months which was immensely hard on Rhett and his family. And me. I came back to get to know the woman who raised the man I was in love with. And I did get that chance. For a while. She was helping me plan the wedding and I was eternally grateful for all of the time I got to spend with her. And in one day, everything changed. Her health quickly deteriorated back in September and now my time was spent with her at St. Mungo's. Which was fine. I just wanted to spend time with her in any way I could. "Oh, Rhett," I whispered, running my damp fingers through his hair.

He grabbed my hand and kissed the heel of it with a smile. "Have I told you recently that I love you?"

"You're about twelve hours overdue," I whispered, sitting up in the tub and wrapping my wet arms around his neck and drawing my lips to his.

Rhett made me feel so safe during times I shouldn't. He made me feel loved when I was scared to love him. He made me feel special when I didn't deserve it. It's why I had fallen for him so quickly.

After leaving Britain, I spent weeks, months even, wallowing in self-pity, crying over how I left. I walked out during a moment of fearful weakness and I would never be able to take that back. I wasn't thinking at the time and once I did start thinking about it, it haunted me. Even to this day, I shuddered at the selfishly childish way I had packed up and left without daring to look back. And it was during one of those times of remorse and guilt that I had run into Rhett.

He had moved there after Hogwarts to be the Junior Associate to the Australian Minister of Magic, who also just happened to be his grandfather. I was at the Ministry for a story and ran headfirst into my ex-boyfriend. At the time, I didn't know what to think of it but a part of me felt a sense of comfort and relief from being able to grasp even just an ounce of home. I didn't have to feel so haunted or selfish or guilty or remorseful for the way I had left. I could just feel nostalgic as I reminisced with a close friend. We went for coffee. Coffee turned into lunch. Lunch turned into dinner. Dinner turned into a stroll along the beach. And the rest is history.

Were there times I wondered if I had just latched on to Rhett because it was something safe and comfortable? Yeah. But then he would surprise me with a bouquet of flowers or spontaneously pull me up for a dance and to tell me I was beautiful or he would have a cooked meal waiting for me after work and I knew he was the real deal. I didn't have Sirius looking over my shoulder for me to waver between the two. And I quickly realized I didn't need to waver. Rhett was my stability in a world I felt I had lost control of. I needed him. More than I had ever realized.

But now that I was looking over my own shoulder at Sirius, I couldn't help but wonder if I was slowly losing control again.

As our lips pulled apart, a guilty tug yanked on my heart as the thought of Sirius crept into the back of my mind and wouldn't get out. I let out a deep sigh and fell back against the porcelain tub. "Rhett, I need to tell you something."

His eyebrow arched. "That doesn't sound good."

"It's not."

When I glanced up at him, I saw the concerned panic in his eyes. "Just tell me," he said softly.

I felt my heart begin to race as I slumped further down in the tub. "I ran into Sirius yesterday morning."

He froze. His expression turned to shock, his spine stiffened, and his fists curled into tight balls. "And you're only telling me this now?"

"I didn't know how to tell you."

"So telling me in the bathroom was how you decided to do it?"

I sensed the worry in his voice. But what surprised me was that his voice was actually clear of any anger. "Not my finest moment," I murmured. I sat up, placing my arms on his legs and looking up at him. "Nothing happened. He got angry with me, understandably so, and told me to go to hell. That was it. He walked away."

Rhett slowly nodded, chewing on the inside of his mouth. "That was it?"

I cringed. "Well," I said slowly. "That was it yesterday. With him at least. He showed up at my door tonight. To yell at me some more. Understandably so. Because it…um…well, it turns out, Lance and Kay broke up last night."

"What?" Rhett cried out. "Why?"

I hung my head shamefully. "Because of me," I whispered, the tears collecting in the back of my eyes. "Because I begged Lance to keep my return a secret from Kay while I figured out a way to tell everyone I was back. And ten months later, it destroyed them. I destroyed them."

"Oh, Riley," Rhett whispered, grabbing my hands and kissing them. First my hands and then his lips ran up my arms. "It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. You may have wanted to keep it a secret, but he was the one who kept that promise. He was just trying to do you a favor. And it backfired. But it's not your fault. Please don't-"

"Maybe not, but you know what is my fault?" I said, a tear sliding down my cheek. I gazed up at my fiancé. "I was the one who left in the middle of the night. I left a bunch of people behind who had already had to deal with so much abandonment. Sirius with his broken family. James with Wyatt and his father and even in a weird way, Brite. Lily with her parents' death and her sister leaving. Remus' parents abandoned him at a young age. Kay has always been estranged from her family. And I just added to it. What kind of person does that?"

I could see shock in his eyes. I didn't talk about my disappearance with Rhett. Hell, I didn't talk about it with anyone. I was too ashamed to talk about it. In the moment that I left Sirius, and all of my friends, the way I did, I thought it was the only thing I could do to give us all what we needed. Did I regret it? Not usually. But ever since I ran into Sirius and saw the pain I had caused him, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, I was beginning to wonder if I had made the wrong decision.

"You've never talked about that night with me before," Rhett whispered, wiping away the tear off my cheek with his thumb.

"It's not like it's something I'm proud of," I muttered, jerking away from his touch guiltily.

He reached out again, placing his hands on my cheeks and kissing my forehead. "You can't live in the past," Rhett whispered reassuringly. "You did what you did and no matter how hard you analyze it, nothing is going to change."

"I know," I said with a defeated sigh. He was right. He often was. It didn't mean I didn't feel guilty.

"Can I ask you something?"

Uh-oh. Here it comes. "Yeah."

"You said 'that was it yesterday. With him at least.' What did you mean by that?"

I hesitated, not expecting that question. When I gazed up at him, I knew he had a feeling about what answer I was going to give. "Every single one of them showed up at my door last night," I spoke softly. "First James. Then Peter. Kay, Remus, and finally Lily."

Even Rhett cringed. "That couldn't have been pretty."

"It wasn't," I sighed. "Until Lily showed up."

His eyebrow arched.

"She hugged me and said she missed me."

"Excuse me?"

I nodded. "I know," I said softly, still confused by the odd display of affection from the friend I abandoned. "I…I can't prove it, but I have a strong feeling that something bad has happened to her recently."

"Like what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. But…but I guess I'll find out on Saturday," I said slowly, glancing up at Rhett with a guilty frown. "We're having dinner."

Rhett blinked, leaning back away from me with a surprised sigh. "Come again?"

I nodded, biting down on the bottom of my lip. "I know. It threw me for a loop, too. It was her suggestion."

"Wow."

"You could say that again."

Rhett ran his fingers slowly from the front of his hair towards the back, letting out a long, even sigh. "This is a lot of information you're throwing my way right now," he muttered.

"I know," I whispered, sitting up again and reaching for his hands. "But it doesn't change anything, Rhett. They're all in my past. You're my present. And you're my future, too. Please believe that." I know I sounded desperate.

"You're going out to dinner with Lily on Saturday. It sounds like she's your present, too."

I winced. "Alright, do you blame me for wanting to reconnect with her? She was my best friend for seven years."

"Who you walked away from."

I recoiled immediately, shock resting on my face as I lay back against the tub in hurt defeat, crossing my arms bitterly. "Yes, thank you for reminding me what a selfish bitch I am. You can leave my apartment now."

"No, no," he whispered desperately, reaching out for my hand. I pulled away stubbornly. "I'm sorry, Riley. I am. That was so heartless of me. I know how hurt you still are over what happened. I just hate to see you get worked up over all of this. I don't want it to still be affecting you four years later."

"I know what I did," I said softly. "And I know it has consequences. I knew that when they all found out I was back, everything would go to hell. I thought I was prepared for that, but it all just happened so fast."

He pushed a strand of wet hair from my forehead, nodding knowingly. "I know," he murmured. "Just like you thought you were prepared, I thought I was too. I was afraid you'd run into one of them. Or all of them. In fact, I knew it would happen one day. And I was prepared for them all to be mad at you. What I wasn't prepared for was one of them actually wanting to be your friend again."

I frowned knowingly and reached out for his hand, squeezing it. I pressed my lips to his warm hands, my eyes never straying from his. "It's not Sirius," I whispered.

He froze slightly before eventually sighing. He met my gaze and nodded. "I know," he murmured.

"You're the one I want to be with," I spoke, resting my chin on his thigh. "Not him. Just remember that."

He gazed down at me and I saw him smile. "I can do that," he whispered.

"Good, because I am not about to let you go," I murmured, meeting his gaze.

He leaned over and kissed the top of my head, running his fingers through my wet hair. Have I mentioned you recently that I love you?"

I smiled at the words he always used no matter what mood we were in. We could be in the middle of a fight but everything would be okay the moment he said those words. His mother could take a turn for the worst but he would utter those words and somehow everything seemed alright. We could be having a conversation about my ex-boyfriend, someone who had already gotten in the way of me and Rhett once, yet he would speak those words and none of it mattered except for me and him. Those words meant the world to me.

And so did Rhett.

I knew my fiancé and I knew a strong part of him was worried about all of this (who wouldn't be?) and I just wanted to prove to him that he didn't need to be worried. So I did what any girl would do sitting in the bathtub.

I grinned and pulled him into the water.

He let out gasp as he fell on top of me but after a few seconds, he was laughing. "Well, I might as well shed these wet clothes."

I smiled suggestively, leaning over and whispering in his ear, "And I might as well just get wet."

The edge of his mouth turned upward. "That, I definitely wouldn't be opposed to."

---

A/N: Well, we've got a betraying Keegan Sirius interaction, a depressing LJ interaction, a shocking Lily Shane interaction, a confrontational Drew James interaction, a sad James Dezzy interaction, a sympathetic Sirius Remus James interaction, and a truth-telling Riley Rhett interaction. Which one were you the most excited to read? I bet you thought Lily and Shane were going to end up together at the end of that, but let's give Shane some credit here for knowing it would be a bad idea. But I'm thinking most of you are still reeling over that first conversation between Keegan and Sirius. Or you're feeling sorry for Lily after that disappointing conversation with James. My heart aches for all of them - Lily, James, Sirius. It's like they can't go five minutes without something horrible happening to them. But there's a reason this story is called Goodbyes on the Balcony. This isn't your typical happy fairytale. To find that happy ending, you've got to go through some struggles. But in the end, getting through those struggles will only make them stronger. So keep reading!