A/N: Does anyone read this? It's bout to get real up in here.

14. Blood And Thunder

I sat in my car staring at the basket in my passenger seat, trying to identify the root of the rock in my gut. I felt nervous, but not the giddy, butterflies in my tummy type of nervous; I felt sick. I felt embarrassed! That one wasn't so familiar to me, but it had it's place today. I swallowed it down, got out of the car and walked to the door.

"Oh, hi Liz!" Emily greeted me with surprised warmth.

"Hi," I said, holding up the basket. Judge it and not me.

"Well come on in, hun," she said, moving aside so that I could enter her home. She offered me coffee as she placed the basket on her kitchen counter.

"They're, um, whole grain. Banana and blueberry."

She lifted the cover and smelled them, smiling. "They're still warm. They look delicious. Thank you for bringing them to me." She offered me a muffin and sat down with another, rubbing her big baby belly.

"Did you ever think you and Leah would be pregnant at the same time?"

"No," she said with a little giggle. "It's nice, though. Now both babies will have a cousin the same age."

I looked at my feet and tried not to cry. I had sworn to myself many times over that I wouldn't let them feel bad for being pregnant after I lost my baby. I didn't want them to pity me, didn't want to dampen their joy about their own families. But sometimes the sting of the memories was just too much and all the hurt I had built up inside of me welled up and fell out of my eyes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she started to say.

"No, please don't," I said. "This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Please don't let me ruin a second of that for you." I couldn't look at her for long, couldn't stand the look of sadness directed at me. I wonder if people looked at Seth like this, too.

"I bet Seth is happy that you're home," she finally said, changing the subject.

I snorted. "He and I both."

"When are Josh and Ana moving back home? Is everything finished over there yet?" she asked, her mouth full of muffin.

"Not quite yet. They should be leaving pretty soon, though.."

"Looking forward to them leaving? I imagine you and Seth want some alone time."

I shrugged. "Eh. I like having them there most of the time. Actually, thinking about it now, it's probably going to be kind of boring when they go."

"Hmmm," she thought. "You're home a lot like me."

"I have nowhere to be most of the time."

"You can always come visit me," she replied.

I smiled. "That'd be nice. I should probably make some friends... or hang out with my existing ones that don't live with me, huh?"

"It'd be good for you. I know it's kind of awkward being with someone in the pack and feeling forced to hang out with all of us, but we really are all here for you. You're family now."

I considered. "I'm like the cousin that gets drunk at Thanksgiving," I laughed. "I love you guys, but I'm well aware that there are a lot of things about me that burn bridges with people. Like with Charlie, for instance."

"Don't worry about him." She put her hand gently on my arm. "No one here is judging you. I promise," she lied. "Besides... I think your life is really interesting."

"That it is," I conceded. "Interesting may be an understatement."

"I can't believe Seth imprinted on a rock star." She looked down at her full stomach. "Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if Sam hadn't come into it... the way he did. But I really doubt I would have been doing anything like what you do."

"Do you ever wish that..." I stopped, trying to phrase my question better. "Like, do you ever think that things would have been better if you had ended up with him a little later in life?"

She shook her head. "No, I think things would have just been more complicated. Is that how you feel about Seth?"

I sighed. "He's older than me, and we're a lot different. He wants to get married and have kids and settle down... he's tried to do those things with me and it never works out. I'm not ready, though. I want those things, but first I want to live, and travel and be me. I'm always fighting with myself, every time I get an opportunity to do more with music... I'm always tethered here."

She seemed to be thinking it over. "Seth is in a weird position with you. Everyone in the pack that has imprinted has done it on someone that stays local. But, I'm sure he realizes how young you are. You need to talk to him, explain that you have a life outside of him that you don't want to drop."

I nodded me head. "I will. I just hope it doesn't come out wrong."

Emily offered to have us over for dinner, but I told her to give me a raincheck; I had plans for the short amount of time left before Seth came home. I headed home and grabbed a few things, wishing the whole time that I had extra arms to plug up my ears. Josh and Ana were really going at it and just being here felt wrong.

I went to this graveyard Ana and I had found awhile back. It was old and overgrown, just the right amount of spooky. We'd partied it up a few times and it felt as familiar as my old graveyard from home.

There wasn't a house within a mile of here, and still I felt like someone was peeking at me. This was far out of the way, even for the wolves, so I hoped that it was just my massive paranoia and I wasn't actually being spied on.

I sat down on the steps of a mausoleum, closed my eyes and just breathed. Today felt much more like autumn than winter, and it was surprisingly crisp and clear; no rain so far, though I could feel something brewing in the air.

I opened up my backpack and withdrew a candle, set it aside and lit it. I pulled out the vodka and cracked the lid, taking a full swig. I removed two of my notebooks and one that had been bestowed upon me by someone I couldn't remember, and I started to flip through pages. Last, I pulled out one of my sharpest throwing daggers.

"Omnia intra me. Omnia extra me. Effusus circumdabor pelle mea. I vocant vires ut a somno exsuscitem." I read the strange words aloud as I sliced my palm open, letting my blood drip freely. Once the words were spoken, nothing happened... until something did.

The sky rumbled, then cracked like a whip as the wind began to stir. Treacherous gray clouds floated in, lightning began to strike the heavens. Raindrops fell in giant globs; I was soaked through in seconds, shivering against the cold.

I started to freak out. I began to gather my things when suddenly, my body jerked upright and stiffened as a current of the lightning seared my insides. I knew I'd been struck; I could see it happening, but it didn't hurt. I felt it, but it wasn't painful.

This didn't seem right. Shouldn't I be dead? Or at the very least, incapable of thought? I was being electrocuted. Fucking struck by lightning. How about those odds?

It was over and I was fine. Or, I at least seemed to be. I looked at my hand as the rain mixed with my blood and washed it away, and the slice began to heal itself.

"Liz!" I suddenly heard from behind. "Elizabeth!" Seth grabbed my shoulders and circled around me. "What are you doing out here?! Have you not noticed the storm?"

"Oh, shit!" I ran back to the mausoleum to salvage my notebooks before they were irreparably damaged by the rain.

"Watch out!" He was by my side in a flash, reaching down just beside of my things. He put his hand down quickly on the top of a rattlesnakes head and picked it up, clamping its jaws shut to avoid being bitten.

I looked between him and the snake skeptically. "You got it?"

"I'll just take it over there," he said, pointing to our left.

"Don't hurt it."

"I won't." He walked away and set the snake down, waiting until the last second to let go of its head before he dashed back over to me. He helped me gather the rest of my things and we ran to the car together. "What were you doing out here?" he asked after sliding into the drivers seat - I was too in my thoughts to drive right now.

"Magic," I replied.