Chapter 2:
The fresh smell of roses and lilies filled the carriage causing Prissy to sneeze all the way to the cemetery. The squeaky sneezes wrought Scarlett's nerves, and she finally stopped the carriage at the post office.
"Get out, get the mail, and sit by the square, I'll meet you to walk to the dressmakers in an hour."
Prissy hopped out and hurried into the post office as a strong wind blew her shawl over her head.
Scarlett enjoyed the ride to the edge of town in silence surrounded by the smell of the pale pink roses tied in a blue bow, and the white, serene lilies tied in lavender. The solitude and the rocking of the carriage settled her nerves, or maybe it was just because Scarlett would be close to two people she loved. She missed the sounds and rhythm of life that had involved her family and friends, it seemed she was alone, alone in an abyss, and as much as she tried to come to terms with it, her soul yearned for human contact.
She carried the bouquets, one in each arm, as she headed up the hill to Bonnie's grave, the freshly carved granite bore her child's name, the name nobody ever used, Eugenie Victoria. The day she told Mammy her choice, the old woman gruffed, what kind of name is that Eugenie? It ought to be Ellen. Scarlett felt a pang of guilt, but told Mammy it was a French name , like Robillard, and she beamed.
Mammy had hoped Miss Ellen would had name one of her daughters after her mother, Solange, but to her dismay, Miss Ellen chose fashionable names of the time, with the exception of Katie Scarlett.
Scarlett had loved the French Creoles on New Orleans, they had reminded her of her mother's calm nature, and kindness to everyone. The creoles had a way of making any stranger feel welcome, and taking you in as their own. They even had friends they referred to as cousin, without a drop of blood between them. They were not like these hostile people in Atlanta who envied anyone's good fortune, and looked to pick for weaknesses to exploit.
Scarlett focused on her darling Bonnie, and placed the the bouquet of roses at the foot of the granite, and said a quiet prayer, ending with a whispered, "I love you, darling, my darling girl." Scarlett noticed the last bouquet she had left a week ago, was starting to brown, and the ribbon had faded to a gray in the sun.
As she made her way to Melanie's grave the abundance of flowers left a week ago wilted, and she knelt at the tiny headstone that read: Melanie Jane Hamilton Wilkes, beloved wife and mother, and placed the lilies on the still fresh ground. Scarlett's head started to tingle, and her breath was in short pants as her chest hurt. She lowered her head as in prayer at the Picards made their way to their graves. Maybelle's husband from New Orleans, always honored his mother and their stillborn child on All Saints' Day. Scarlett refused to look up, but heard the mumbled whispered and ignored them, praying she would faint from her spell. Scarlett started to pray the Hail Mary, as her breathing started to even out and her spell left her. Tears welled up in her eyes, and sobs racked her body, it felt good to cry, but she feared she wouldn't stop. The lilies looked vulgar sitting on top of the freshly ground black dirt, so she placed them on top the gravestone, refusing to look at the name. Scarlett wasn't ready accept that Melanie was under the dirt, dead in a coffin in the ground. She would eventually, like she did Bonnie, but it would be a while.
A sob distracted Scarlett from her own pain, and she turned and noticed another woman bending by a grave crying, and praying in another language. She wasn't one of the Atlanta sewing circles attendees, she was petite, with dark hair, and skin the color of warm toast, she reminded Scarlett of some of the creole's in New Orleans, maybe she was praying in Latin?
Scarlett realized something at that moment, she may not be the only person going through such turmoil in her life. She looked around at all the gravestones, these were markers of a lose, someone's loss and sadness. Suddenly, the overwhelming realization of sadness and a lack of breakfast caused Scarlett's knees to buckle, the dizziness lasted a moment, and then as a strong wind ripped through the headstones, she regained herself, and got up slowly and started her way to the carriage.
Jonah saw the pale, thin woman, his mistress coming toward the carriage, and held the door open, and noticed the shaking in her leather gloved hand, her eyes were red rimmed and her gait was unsteady.
"Are you feeling well, Miz Butler?"
She could only nod, as she got out of the chilly air, and into the carriage.
"You want to go back to the town square, or back home?"
"The square, please, Jonah."
Scarlett's head started to pound in the carriage, and the tension, and her hunger started to get the better of her. Anger surged in her chest, and one of her spells came back, this time, the urge to bolt and run crept into her mind, but she squirmed in the carriage, and tried to control it. Her head tingled and she closed her eyes, feeling the numbness overtake her body.
Mrs. Leinder knew Scarlett well, and she was sure to be offered coffee and cake at the dress shop. She had been her best customer even before she had married Rhett. Jonah pulled up at the edge of the square and motioned for Prissy to get in the carriage, Scarlett wasn't sure she would be able to walk to the dressmaker's in her current condition.
Prissy bounded in the the carriage, "It's bad cold out there Miz Scarlett, we can't just go home?"
"No."
Prissy pulled her woolen shawl and cap around her head and shoulders, "We warm weather people, we can't take all this winter cold."
Scarlett scold at her, and closed her eyes, it was best to ignore all her protesting.
Scarlett walked in quietly in the shop as the door bell rang, Mrs. Leinder seemed to float up to her and grabbed her hand, paying her well wishes and condolences. Scarlett figured she had heard all the gossip about her the past few weeks, but sure as the red faced gray haired lady was smiling in her face, she showed Scarlett to the couch and offered her coffee and had thick cinnamon biscuits with butter ready on her tiny white and pink china plates.
Scarlett took the biggest biscuit and lathered it with butter, but the first bite was like salt. Scarlett knew she needed to eat or she would soon faint, so she struggled to get the food down, washing it down with mouthfuls of coffee.
"Mrs. Butler, I have the four dresses you ordered, do you plan on trying on today?"
Scarlett cleared her throat and nodded, "Yes, I need to make sure they fit, even though I know I wont be able to wear them until next year, you can make alterations if needed?"
"Of course, and maybe even update them some, unless you want to dye them?"
"No, I have enough clothes dyed already. Besides, I am going to visit my family for a rest. I wont be needing much in the line of dresses for the next few months."
The cinnamon roll had started to boost Scarlett's blood sugar and she was feeling sturdier in her legs and head, and she stood to try on the dresses. She chose the velvet and silk gown first, she had hoped to wear it on Christmas day, the silk was a pale rose, and the velvet was a wine pulled over a bustle adorned with a striped mauve bow.
As she came out the dressing room and stood in front of the mirror, the dress hung on her hips, and the arms were loose barely covering her bodice, she felt like a child in her mother's clothes. SHe huffed in frustration and Mrs. Leinder tried to soothe her, suggesting some alterations. Scarlett decided to take the dress off, and wait until next year to alter it. Scarlett threw the dress on the couch in frustration and headed to the counter to pay Mrs. Leinder and leave. Prissy came inside to help carry out the dresses.
"Miz Scarlett, you got only one dress?'
"No, I have four, they are coming out. Don't touch the red one, they are going to pack them up. SHe'll give them to you on the hangers."
Mrs. Leinder motioned for Scarlett to come see her new choices in black buttons, and Scarlett left Prissy alone.
The bell rang, and another lady in black came in the store and looked around, she noticed Prissy standing by the counter and asked, "Miss, do you work here?"
Prissy giggled, "No indeed, I'm with Mrs. Scarlett."
The woman proceeded to walk around the store and examined the catalogs on the table, upon seeing the red dress on the couch, she held it out and looked at the fine tucks around the neckline.
Mrs. Leinder walked out with Scarlett following with a bag full on black buttons.
"I do need those, I'll let Mammy sew them on my winter dresses when I get home."
Mrs. Leinder noticed the customer with Scarlett's dress and inquired:
"May I help you?"
"Yes, could you dye this black, but take off all this fluff, and bows, I need a dress, not a birthday present."
"Excuse me?" Mrs. Leinder inquired, "This is my customer's gown, we need to pack it."
Scarlett turned to see the woman from the cemetery, dressed in black, and now her small round dark eyes stared at the three women at the counter.
"I'm sorry, I just have simpler tastes, I do like the form of the dress."
Mrs. Leinder took the dress and handed it to her apprentice for packing, and showed the woman to the catalog, "I can show you the pattern."
Prissy left with the dresses and sat in the carriage, as Scarlett settled up the bill with Mrs. Leinder. The woman approached Scarlett with a smile, and her hand extended.
"Madame, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding," she took Scarlett's hand and her eyes were warm, and dark brown. Her voice was like a combination of southern and a latin dialect.
"No, please, I ordered that dress a few months ago, before-" Scarlett's mind wandered, remembering the day she ordered that dress and then picking up candy for Bonnie, after at Kennedy's when she checked on the books.
"I see, you have a lost, too?" Her eyes were red rimmed and moist.
Scarlett nodded, as her throat was tight.
"Maria Pilar Lange," she rattled off her name, "Call me Pilar, ok?"
Scarlett smiled and pointed to her chest, "Scarlett Butler."
"Ok, Scarlett Butler, I always say buying yourself a little something will lift your spirits."
Scarlett shook her head, "No, I'm not shopping today, just paying my bill."
"I see we have something in common, wearing the mourning cloth, who have you lost?"
Lost? Scarlett wanted to say, I lost everything.
But, she only said, "My daughter and my sister in law."
Pilar's eyes cast down, "I lost my daughter, too. She was only a few months old, a terrible fever overtook her."
Scarlett looked at this woman, who was a clear ten years older than her, did she just say she lost an infant? Scarlett muttered condolences, and add, "My daughter died in the spring, soon after her fifth birthday, it was a horse riding accident, and my sister in law two weeks ago, childbirth."
Pilar smiled, "Her birthday was in the spring, when?"
Scarlett felt at ease for the first time talking about Bonnie, "March, the 9th."
Pilar's eyes were full and a few tears escaped, "My Johanna would have been six months this week, she was in May."
Scarlett looked at this woman, and didn't remember seeing her around Atlanta, so she asked, "Are you from Atlanta?"
"No, New Orleans, actually Cuba, but my husband and I moved to Atlanta this summer."
"New Orleans," Scarlett's voice was whispy.
"You know New Orleans?"
"Yes, I went on my honeymoon there, lovely place."
"I knew something about you was special, anybody loves New Orleans is a friend of mine."
Nobody had ever called Scarlett, a friend, especially another woman, but this woman was different, she was bold and forthright, not like those smiling back stabbers. Pilar was a woman after her own heart.