28. Jonestown Tea

I was blaring music through my home, trying to immerse myself in the feel of it. I'd been at it for a week now and was probably driving everyone around me crazy, but I needed to. I had seven different notebooks scattered around me, writing in some and picking through others as something cohesive formed. It wasn't an easy process.

Writing with a group was such a challenge. Especially when you kept your band at arm's length when you weren't out on the road with them.

I had too much shit going on. Melody was my guest room's newest occupant and she was a good roommate, but moving someone new in so quickly was stressful. Mark had been over almost every day and most nights since we'd come home from Chicago; he'd spent some nights on the couch, but I was pretty sure he was also spending some with Mel. Seth had been all over my ass lately - not that I was complaining, but people were coming and going from my house at all hours and I could barely keep my freaking pants on. And my powers...

I lived in this world of If I Want It, It's Mine. I felt like I was bursting with it, like there was magic attached to every fiber of my being and it was still trying to grow. The problem was, I couldn't help but be afraid of it. It seemed that my head was done spontaneously combusting... I had enough control for that. Even the storms were less frequent as of late. But sometimes, when I started to feel a bit... overwhelmed... I could feel something brewing, both inside myself and far beyond. Something ugly as fuck.

I got a text from Joe telling me to come to the studio and responded, "Do I have to?". I was just starting to catch a flow. He insisted, so I packed up and hit the road, leaving Forks in the dust. I was blasting music and screaming to it, slamming around in my seat as I drove to psyche myself up. I probably looked fucking crazy but hey, I had a job to do... and it was super fun.

I finally parked outside of The Hive and waved to my guys as I lit a cigarette on the way out of my car. "You all realize I'm completely unprepared for this, right?"

"You've got this, trust me," Joe said. "We got this awesome instrumental piece going. We just need you to lay down rhythm and some voice, but no lyrics."

"You could always pull a Corey Taylor and just get naked, cut yourself and puke everywhere... but then they might charge us for cleaning," John said.

I grimaced. "I think I'm good on that, thanks. I've been trying to get in the mode... it's more difficult than usual."

"You smoke today?" Bradley asked.

"I smoke every day," I smirked.

"Want some speed?" he asked, producing a handful of adderall.

"Ummm... no. I think I'll pass." I flicked my cigarette into an ashtray and started through the door of the studio.

We went into the listening area and they started their track. It was incredible as it was - though it would sound a lot more complete with rhythm guitar - but I could see where it needed a little something extra. Not a whole mass of lyrical content, just a bit to smooth it's edges... or to rough them up a bit. I listened to it five times as I started fitting myself into the groove of it, pulling at the ever present anger inside of me.

"I've got this," I finally said. I went into the booth and turned the lights down, put on the headphones and plugged up my guitar. The music started in my ears and I was coming in slow with some distortion before I started to flow in. "I just want to watch the world burn," I whispered into the mic.

I was fully entrenched, screaming and crying when every light bulb around us suddenly shattered mysteriously. I had no idea how in the fuck I was supposed to perform under these conditions... I had to get this shit under control. Fully.

"Incredible!" John yelled as I came out of the both. He grabbed me up in a bear hug, surprising the shit out of me.

"You should hang with us today, Liz," Bradley said.

It was so tempting. I had to be here in Seattle tomorrow anyways, and I wasn't looking forward to driving back and forth. "Let's get some food and I'll consider it."

I loved hanging with my band like this. No shows, no pressure or time constraints, just three dudes and a crazy chick having a good ol' time, getting drunk and rowdy and fucking with each other.

I heard "No-no-no-Notorious" come through the speakers and was up, yelling for someone to turn it up so I could rap it and dance as the guys jumped in. I'd gone from screaming metal to spitting it with Biggie... not bad for a Tuesday afternoon.

We all went back to the shitty apartment the guys were being forced to share for however long it took us to work on this record. They hadn't been here long and it was already completely disgusting; trash and dirty dishes all over, bong water and beer spilled all over the table and an orchestra of mysterious smells were the highlight of the common area.

"You guys are fucking gross," I said as I started carrying trash and dishes to the kitchen. "You have a fucking dishwasher!" I yelled as they laughed.

I spotted a magazine laying on the counter that had a new interview with Joe featured on the cover. "Joe Faruggia talks drugs, metal, and Liz Collins."

I grabbed it and a six pack from the fridge before trying to find an unsoiled seat back in the living room. "You didn't tell me you had a new piece out," I accused.

Joe sighed. "They kept steering everything back towards you."

I scanned the article and he wasn't wrong; almost every question pertained to me in some way. They didn't seem to be interested in Joe or our music, just looking for gossip from a member of my band. It was fucking ridiculous.

"Fuck them," I finally said. "They must have snagged a shitty reporter from People or something."

Bradley got up and turned on some music, and then the room froze. Everyone was just stuck like a statue as I looked around, completely confused. Had I accidentally stopped time?

There was this weird feeling in my gut which spread quickly throughout my body, like being pulled to pieces and squished all together simultaneously. I bent over, clutching my stomach and chest together as I tried to catch my breath. I needed to physically hold the pieces of myself.

"We need your help, Elizabeth."

"Liz," I snapped, still panting. "You know, that's a lot less terrible when I do it myself."

"Sorry," Cecily said with a frown. "The journey is usually rough for us. I just needed you and I didn't have time to waste."

I wiggled my limbs, trying to shake the ick. "So, what's the deal?"

"One of ours is injured. We've been trying to heal her... it's not enough. And one of theirs is coming."

"Alright," I said, cracking my knuckles and neck. "Let's get this over with."

She started walking me through the room - it appeared to be some sort of home library, the kind you only see in really refined, rich people houses. The next room had nothing in it but a large table, and on it the form of a young woman.

"Do you need help?" she asked before I headed in.

"Nah," I shrugged. I'd never tried this before, but I got a ton of things right on the first try. Why should this be any different?

The power inside of me was immeasurable. Like a well that ran from one side of the Earth to the other, and within it was centuries and galaxies full of fiery rage, flowing water, a dance of beautiful energies.

The girls breath was coming in uneven bursts and she was so clearly in pain. There was sticky blood and sweat covering her burnt skin and what was left of her clothes, her flesh bubbling and blistering. She couldn't even open her eyes to look at me.

"What's your name?" I asked her, pushing her fried hair away from her face.

"Li... Lily," she whimpered, and it hurt my heart.

I bent over her face until the tips of our noses touched. "This is going to get a bit intimate," I warned. I laid my parted lips to hers in a soft kiss, breathing health into her.

It only took seconds. I could feel it flowing, my power into her, my life into her. It was so pure and it was so real that I felt I could touch it. A wispy physical embodiment of love.

Her blue eyes almost mirrored my own, and I realized I'd seen this girl before... maybe more than once.

"Thank you," she said as she sat up and looked over herself. "The pain is completely gone."

"You're that girl from the library," I said.

She smiled beautifully. "I'm Lily. We've actually met before..."

"That show..." I remembered now. I'd met her backstage in Colorado after a set my band played. I'd gone too hard that night - first on whiskey and various other chems, then on stage because the crowd was huge and I was feeling it. "You gave me that notebook."

She held her finger to her lips. "Shhhh," she winked.

"You look a lot like me," I commented as my eyes focused on her piece by piece. She was blonde and blue eyed, thin and pale, she even had the whole grungy-slash-rock-slash-metal-slash-barbie doll thing going with her black dress, knee high boots and flannel shirt.

"Wow... thank you," she said as she nervously twisted a lock of hair much shorter than my own.

I just smiled. "I should probably get back."

"You should come back... when you're free to."

I nodded. "Okay." A moment later, I found Cecily in the same place I'd left her. "She's fine now. Let me know if you need anything else."

"But, the Dark One - " she began to argue.

"I've got it," I answered, my eyes closed and searching. I could feel the other.

I blinked myself to her; she was in the woods, pretty close to where ever Cecily had brought me to originally and she was running before I stopped her in her tracks, wrapping her up in my arms. I moved us in an instant, but she was fighting and thrashing, and I overshot. I'd been aiming for the coastline, this cliff that I knew would be free of watchful eyes. Instead, we landed in the icy cold water of the Pacific Ocean.

She was going so nuts in my grip that she choked on some water and puked.

"Gross!" I yelled, tightening both my arms and legs around her.

I was still conflicted as to what exactly I was supposed to do when I encountered these bitches. Was I expected to kill them? Cecily hadn't told me. Cecily hadn't told me much of anything, really.

"Hold still!" I slapped the girl in the face.

She reared back, ready to punch me and I whipped my hand upwards, sending her high into the air before crashing her back down into the water. I'll be damned if this bitch fucks up my face right now.

She came up near me for air and I touched a fingertip to her nose, drawing out her magic. Her well was empty while mine was ever growing.

She screamed and wretched away from me, rearing her open hand back once more.

I grabbed her wrist, bobbing around in the icy water. "You want to live? Quit fucking trying to hit me!"

She was crying in anger as I sent her back to the beach with a wave of my hand. I didn't know what else to do with her, and I guessed it didn't matter much where I sent her since I'd rendered her powerless.

I popped myself back to the guys apartment without thinking, and time immediately started to move again in the small space. They all started looking around in complete and utter confusion until their eyes found me standing by the door... not on the couch where I'd been a moment before, and somehow soaking wet.

I didn't have an excuse, so I just smiled and said, "Could someone get me a towel, please?"