Carry on My Wayward Servant
Chapter 13: Secrets Revealed
"Arthur….Arthur…." Merlin moaned, grabbing at the sheets in the Prince's bed. "You shouldn't be doing that...you shouldn't…" His protests died in his ears as a tongue thrust inside of him, and the only thing that left his mouth after that was to beg for more...for mercy...for his prince.
He was a sweating panting mess when it was all over, stomach panting with exhilaration as Arthur kissed his way up his body, emerging from the sheets and pausing at his chest to play with the pendant. "A remarkable thing...It's been a week now and no snake...no blackouts. Perhaps Camelot is safe once again?"
"Perhaps…" Merlin whispered, still breathless. "Or maybe it is just biding its time until I slip up and take off the amulet?" He said, not trusting this reprieve.
"Don't be such a pessimist Merlin." Arthur chided, settling between his legs. Merlin's mouth opened in shock as he felt the hardness pressed up against his now slick and wet entrance.
"You can't be serious?" Merlin said, shoving at the prince. "Arthur...you'll break me. That'll be five times...my body can only take so much...and I mean not to stroke your insufferable ego, but you aren't exactly small and…" He was quieted as Arthur pushed in, Merlin's body taking him easily as his legs wrapped instinctively around Arthur. They really weren't getting much done this morning.
Arthur was close to asleep after, wrapped close around him with one hand around the amulet, and the other clasped in Merlin's hand. "Arthur?" Merlin asked him, getting a hum from his dozing master. "I need to tell you something...I've been avoiding it for awhile, but I feel like you'll get more angry if I don't tell you."
Arthur sighed, kissing his shoulder. "What is it? More blackouts?" He said sleepily, pulling him closer to his body.
"No...nothing like that." Merlin said, hesitating. "It's about Lancelot." He shut his eyes as he felt Arthur stiffen behind him, sitting up and turning Merlin over to face him.
"What about him?" The prince's voice was clipped, warning written all over his face. Merlin was such an idiot for doing this, but it seemed wrong to lie.
"After he gave me the amulet...he…." He swallowed, watching those blazing blue eyes narrow in on him. "He kissed me...it was only the once though. I just didn't want to keep it from you." Let it be one less secret between them.
"He. Kissed. You?" Arthur repeated, every word like death and venom. "Lancelot kissed you?" Arthur sat up on his hips, hand gripping the amulet as if to rip it off him. "Did you kiss him back?"
"No." Had he? He didn't think he had. "You know I only want to kiss you." Merlin sat up as well, grabbing his shoulders. "I only wanted to be in honest with you." He cupped Arthur's cheek. "I want only you...we've been so happy and I…" He was shoved off, Arthur getting out of bed. "Arthur don't…"
"Go get me breakfast." Arthur snapped. "My laundry needs done, my armor needs polishing...you've been shirking your duties."
"Shirking my duties? Pretty sure I've been attending you all morning!" He argued, getting laundry thrown into his face. "Arthur! I didn't tell you to cause a fight. It wasn't a big deal!"
"Should I go around kissing people then?" Arthur asked, brow raised. "Since it is no big deal and all that!"
Merlin got out of the bed, pulling on his pants as he stared down the Prince. "It'd be the last thing you ever did." He threatened, not knowing what had come over him. Picturing Arthur with anyone else drove him mad. He walked over, pants hanging loosely on his hips, shoving the prince. "You hear me Arthur, you great dollop head...I'll kill you." He said, causing Arthur to smile even in his anger.
"Stop making me laugh. I'm supposed to be angry at you." He grabbed for Merlin, pulling him close. "You're not allowed to be jealous you know...for the future." He hinted, and Merlin's blood ran cold.
"You mean of course when you marry a princess and leave me?" He asked him, staring into those blue eyes before he pulled away and grabbed for his shirt. "Right, I had forgotten all about that part." His amulet slid across his chest. "Perhaps I should have kissed him back."
Arthur grabbed for his arm, turning him towards him. "Excuse me?" Merlin yanked his arm away, glaring at Arthur. "I told you what would happen if you ever touched anyone else Merlin, and they're not threats like you make."
"I have chores Arthur." Merlin reminded him, face stone. "Let me go….alright?" He asked, eyebrow raised in annoyance. "Or do you not want breakfast?" He held his chin high in defiance, not letting Arthur win this one.
Arthur let him go, and he headed out of the chambers, shaking with anger at what he had allowed himself to become involved with. Why the prince? Why ever? Why had he ever fallen for Arthur?
He pushed his way into his and Gaius's chambers, pausing when he saw him at the table eating porridge. "Gaius...you're not usually here at this time."
Gaius arched a brow, mouth quirking in annoyance. "Merlin...you haven't been in your bed for the past week." He pushed a bowl of porridge towards him. "You're a grown man, and I don't mean to embarrass you, but I would like to know whose bed you've been spending all of your time in?"
Merlin honestly wished there were a hole he could bury himself in. He didn't even know it was possible for his cheeks to ever get so hot before. "Gaius...I...what I mean to say is...Well it's just…"
"It is perfectly alright to have a young woman Merlin, at your age you should be falling in love, but remember her virtue." ...Or his he supposed. Not that he had any virtue left.
"I would never think of dispelling someone's virtue." He assured the healer. "I would never do anything like that Gaius. It's hard to explain."
"Try." Gaius prodded, and Merlin looked around the room for escape routes.
"Arthur." He said at once, watching Gaius's face turn a pale white with shock. "No not that!" He stammered, waving his hands. "He's been having err nightmares...since the snake! He gets up sleepwalking they're so bad!" He stammered. "He asked me to stay in a bed roll in his chambers...to wake him if I hear anything."
"You've been staying in the Prince's chambers!?" Gaius asked incredulously. "Merlin if people found out they would suspect that…" He trailed off, as if it were too shameful to speak. "You shouldn't be doing that. I can make Arthur a sleeping draft."
"He doesn't like drafts...they make his stomach hurt." Merlin stammered. "Can't be having that on a growing prince. Really...it's more of an inconvenience to me if anything. Arthur snores." Softly in his ear, and when Merlin asks him to roll over he complies just after kissing the back of his neck and whispering he loved him. Merlin exhaled shakily, wondering if Arthur would do the same when he got a princess.
Gaius still looked skeptical. "If Uther found out...Merlin it is an impropriety." He tried to explain. "You mustn't be caught, even if you are helping the Prince. Perhaps use magic to help him sleep?"
"And risk getting burned at the stake?" Merlin asked, affronted. "No thank you Gaius!" He shook his head, grabbing for his porridge. He took a bite, trying not to make a face. He had been eating nothing but royal food lately, and going back to mushed up grain was hard to stomach. He didn't mind though, the royal fair wouldn't last forever anyways. He had a few more months at the most.
Gaius was still watching him like he didn't believe him, but Merlin just smiled at him, scooping up his breakfast. If Gaius bought the lie he would be able to stay in Arthur's chambers without having to sneak in and out. It would be a relief.
"What of the Lamia?" Gaius asked. "Have you heard back from Lancelot?" Merlin froze, porridge halfway to his mouth. "I take it that's a no. Shouldn't you go after him?"
"Lancelot said he would return in another week. If he doesn't I will go after him." He should go now, but he had been so happy. The blackouts had stopped...Arthur had been so...attentive. His stomach rolled. "I shall leave this evening." He promised him.
"Has Prince Arthur lifted your ban of leaving the castle?" Gaius asked, curious.
"Errr no…" Merlin admitted, scratching the back of his head. "But that doesn't mean I can't use other means of getting out if he doesn't give permission." He would definitely not give permission, especially since this morning. "I'm sure Arthur will see reason."
"No." Arthur said once he brought him his breakfast. "Are you serious? Of course no." He stabbed at his sausage. "You want permission to go out where a snake wants to become you in search of your lover?"
Merlin frowned at him. "He's not my lover. You're my lover." He reminded him. "And he's risking his life for mine. What if he's in danger?"
"And just what do you intend to do if he is Merlin?" Arthur asked. "Offer to clean the beastie's boots?"
Merlin frowned, holding back from rolling his eyes. "I can do more than clean boots." If Arthur only knew. "I'm not as worthless as you peg me for."
"No Merlin, I imagine you're a good deal more worthless, but I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt." Arthur assured him.
"He saved me Arthur!" Merlin shot back with. "He stopped the blackouts, can you not be a little gracious about that?" He asked. "Or did you not care that I was losing my mind?"
"Of course I cared Merlin!" Arthur snapped. "You want your boyfriend retrieved so much, than I will go and do it. But you're not stepping foot outside those walls." He assured him, leaving no room to argue.
"No I have to go! I have to protect you!" Merlin snapped back. "Stop being so stubborn!"
"I thought that's what you loved about me Darling?" Arthur mocked. "And you're going to protect me, eh? Don't make me laugh."
"I'm beginning to rethink my sentiments." He mumbled. "Just let me come...if anything else." He appealed to Arthur's rational side...his dick. "We wouldn't have to hide outside the castle walls. We could be together." He leaned down, thumb swiping across Arthur's lip. "We could be as loud as we want." He watched Arthur's face go dark with desire. "Just think of what you could do to me...in public."
Arthur looked him up and down, before yanking him into his lap, hands wrapping around his hips. "What sorts of things Merlin?" Arthur asked, fingers running through his short hair. "Tell me...convince me."
Merlin bit his lip, shifting so that he was fully straddling his prince, leaning down to whisper the dirtiest things he could possibly think of in his ear, feeling him harden underneath him as he did, grip around him tightening. "Only if we are outside these walls though." He assured him. "Imagine not having to hide?"
"Contrary to what you might be thinking Darling, it's not exactly accepted to bugger boys." Merlin grinned at that.
"Oh I know...I told Gaius I had been sleeping in your chambers. You should have seen his face."
Arthur paled. "You did what!?" He all but squeaked. "Merlin!"
"Oh don't worry, I just said you were having nightmares and wanted me to sleep in your chambers...didn't mention how you fall asleep most nights with your cock inside me."
"Merlin...you've gotten a filthy mouth on you." Arthur pointed out, slapping the back of his head. "And tell me before you make people aware you're sleeping with me!"
"Oi!" Merlin barked. "That hurts you dirty clotpole. I'm the one that gives you sex you know, it wouldn't hurt to be nice to me."
"I don't have to be nice to you Merlin, you'll give me sex anyways." He assured him. "Now get up and go get my things together. I want to leave before it turns dark."
The widest smile imaginable spread across Merlin's face, and he cupped Arthur's. "Really!?" He asked excited. "You're going to help me?" He kissed Arthur then, smile cracking his face. "I love you so much."
Arthur made a face, pushing at Merlin's to get him to stop kissing him. "Uh...Get off...I hate it when you get all mushy on me."
Merlin bit his lip to stop his smile, not succeeding at all in doing so. He tilted his head, watching Arthur with bright eyes. "Yes my Prince." He said, getting up to bow.
"Oh, subjugation?" Arthur asked in amusement. "I like that. Perhaps I should always give you your way."
Merlin winked at him as he went to leave. "You're finally learning...I'll go prepare your horse." He bowed once more, leaving with the biggest grin possible on his face. How could Arthur do that? How could he make him this happy with just a few words? He was in trouble...he was in real trouble.
,,,,,,,,,
"Arthur, may I ask you a question?" Merlin asked as they were a few hours down the road.
Arthur let the horses trot for a few more beats before answering. "I don't suppose it's going to stop you from asking if I say n-"
"What did you tell your father to get us out of the castle?" He asked with amusement, because Arthur had been blushing when he mounted his horse. "Must have been awfully embarrassing." He teased him, earning a glare. "Oh come on! We have a day's ride...you'll have to tell me eventually."
"About that...why don't we forget it until later." Arthur tried. "It's not important right now." He said that in a way that implied it very much would be.
"Why are you saying it like that?" He asked in suspicion. "Oh no...Arthur what did you do?"
"Do you have to question me on everything Merlin?" He asked, shooting him a glare. "It isn't going to please you, so just leave it until after we find Lancelot." Now he was very worried, his mouth set into a straight line, glaring at his prince. "Don't give me that look. It was my Father's idea, not mine."
"What was?" Merlin asked, knowing he was pushing his luck.
"I don't have to answer to you Merlin, I'm your prince, remember?" Arthur bit out.
"You're right of course." Merlin assured him. "I don't have to sleep with you either." He mocked right back. "I'm not your whore." He snapped, riding on ahead.
"Merlin!" Arthur called behind him, but he kicked at the horse, surging on ahead. He tried to wrack his brain to think of just what Arthur could have agreed to that would make Merlin the most angry, and every explanation was the worst than the last. Had he sold him to another kingdom? Was he going to have to muck out the stables and empty the chamber pots of some other hot headed prat of a prince? No, Arthur wouldn't let him go that easy. Unless he was trying to get rid of him. He had been a pain lately...needy...wanting...he could kill Arthur right now.
They finally got to the town Lancelot was rumored to be, taking the horses to the stable of the inn. He had pointedly not spoken a word to Arthur the rest of the ride, and the Prince had practically talked his ear off the entire trip. You would think he was Gawain or something. Arthur jumped off his horse, and he was about to jump off his own when the Prince stood by his, hand outstretched to him.
Merlin stared from the hand, then around the empty stable, and then to the hand again. "Arthur, what in the world are you doing?" He asked, voice laced with suspicion.
"What does it look like I'm doing, Merlin?" He asked. "I'm helping you from your horse." He said, grinning at his servant.
"I'm not a girl!" Merlin snapped, affronted, staring at Arthur in disgust.
"You're not?" Arthur asked as if it were the strangest thing in the world. "Could have sworn you were with the way you were acting, but then again that must be why I bugger you in ass." He mocked him. "I'll still help you down though." He kept the hand extended.
Merlin stared at it as if it were diseased, throwing his leg over the opposite side of the horse. The horse moved, not understanding the change and Merlin ended up falling off and into the hay beside it. He coughed, pushing himself up and shooting a dirty look to Arthur who was actually holding his stomach he was laughing so hard.
"You're such an idiot Merlin." He mocked. "Boy you sure showed me." He mocked. He was still laughing as he lifted up the hood to his blue cloak and headed towards the Inn.
Merlin picked himself up, dusting off the straw and dirt, glaring into Arthur's back. He grabbed for their things, heading into the inn. He found Arthur already seated towards the back, flirting with the tavern wench and ordering ale. "Should I just take these up to the rooms then?" He asked the prince, frowning slightly as Arthur didn't look towards him. "Arthur?" He asked again, and finally those blue eyes turned towards him. "The bags?"
"To our room...obviously." Arthur said, looking at him like he was daft. "Then come down. I plan to get you drunk. I know how much you enjoy taverns." Merlin's mouth froze in a response, watching the girl look back and forth between them in confusion.
"I'll be right back I suppose." He said, still shocked as he went to drop off their things. He headed back down the stairs, seeing plates already sitting in front of Arthur. He sat down next to him. "You're in an unreasonably good mood." He said under his breath. "Are you going to eat all this?"
Arthur looked at him strangely. "Are you trying to call me fat Merlin?" He asked him, grabbing a grape and popping it into his mouth. "And here after I got your favorite." He motioned towards the chicken. Merlin eyed it, looking up towards Arthur.
"You're letting me eat with you?" He asked, reaching towards it hesitantly. "Is this because we're in disguise?" He whispered, leaning conspiratorially close to Arthur.
"No Merlin." Arthur said, leaning close as well. "It's because we're days away from Camelot...and I get to have you." He whispered, cupping his face. "This was the benefit of such a trip, was it not?" He asked, and Merlin's heart fluttered. His eyes became heavy and lidded. "Romance my love...sometimes I can do it right."
"Is this because you want to sleep with me?" Merlin asked, stupid grin on his face as they were inches apart.
"Undoubtedly." Arthur teased him, yanking him the rest of the way as he claimed his lips, and suddenly the out of the way table he had chosen made sense. Merlin leaned into those lips, falling so deeply for this man he couldn't think.
"Arthur…" Merlin whispered as they kissed. "What did you promise your father?" Because if his Prince was being this nice...well then...what?
"Later." The blond whispered, pulling back, blue eyes almost shining. "I'll tell you in the morning." Merlin stared at him suspiciously, but was too happy to really argue as he took a piece of cheese Arthur offered him, moaning at the richness, noticing how Arthur's eyes went dark at the sound. "You like that Darling?" He asked him, and Merlin felt a hand under the table, tracing along his thigh. "Do you want a different kind of nourishment?"
Merlin cracked open an eye in amusement, but they soon became heavy lidded when Arthur's hand slid even further up. "We're in the middle of a tavern...We could still be seen." He reminded him.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Suppose you're right...doesn't mean I can't have wicked fantasies of you sucking my cock under this table." He conceded throatily, eating another grape as Merlin hardened under his hand.
"Arthur…." Merlin tried, because his prince was such a sex addict. "There's a bed upstairs." He reminded him, and Arthur grunted.
"Merlin would you stop worrying! I paid good money to have my hands all over you. Let me do this?" He asked. "Let me just make you happy for once." He told him, tilting his head and staring as their ale was delivered and he held up his glass. "Cheers."
Merlin stared at him strangely, because Arthur was never this nice. Never. He didn't care that they were far away...or he 'said' that he wanted to be romantic. This was not his Prince. "What did you do?" He asked, and Arthur rolled his eyes.
"For Heaven's sake Merlin drink." He grumbled, pushing the glass back as Merlin went to take a sip, making him down the whole glass. Merlin choked, trying to open his throat to get it down, glaring as some spilled down his shirt. "Honestly Darling, you're a mess." He told him, ordering two more.
This continued until they were laughing together, and honestly Merlin didn't think they had ever talked so much. Arthur told him about his childhood, about how he had nearly burned down half the castle when he was 10. He told him about the first time he had held a sword. The first time he had ridden a horse...and then…
"I knew I wanted you the first time I laid eyes on you in the market." Arthur whispered. It was dark now, and the prince's skin glowed in the candlelight. "You who was nothing would stand up to me." He held out his hand, tracing Merlin's cheek. "I'd never thought of boys before, but I went home that night and thought of you as I touched myself…" His voice got darker, and Merlin blushed, head swimming as he stared into those impossibly blue eyes. "I thought you were out of my system...and then you did the most infuriating thing possible." He told him. "You saved my life. How could I resist you Merlin? Tell me how was I ever supposed to?"
"I don't know Arthur…" Merlin whispered as his face was cupped. "I never could...maybe we never were supposed to." He told him. "Maybe this is destiny...for us to make things better together."
"Make things better?" Arthur asked, and Merlin knew he was getting into dangerous territory. Despite what his prince might think, he rarely drank. When hiding so many secrets it was always good to have a clear head.
"Magic Arthur." He told him, and felt the hand on his face stiffen. "That's Uther's hatred. It doesn't have to be yours."
He expected Arthur to yell, to storm up to the room. But all he did was give that infuriatingly gorgeous laugh. "I clearly shouldn't let you drink anymore...you start crazy ramblings." He leaned in, kissing him softly. "Magic is dangerous Merlin...look at the thing trying to ruin our lives." He argued.
Merlin frowned, grabbing for the pendant. "And this is protecting us!" He argued right back. "Yes there is bad Arthur, but there's also good. I'm good."
"You're good?" Arthur asked, raising both brows. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, and grabbed Merlin as he tried to pull away. "What do you mean by that?" He slurred, holding both of his wrists to prevent him from leaving.
"I just meant...with this lamia." Merlin covered, badly. "It's making me do things magical...but I'm good." It was lame and so obvious he felt like puking. ...Or maybe that was all the alcohol Arthur had plied him with.
Arthur's eyes hadn't changed, however, still staring at him beyond suspicious. "Why do you think it chose you Merlin?" He asked, and Merlin cursed because with how close they had become...Arthur had actually learned how to read him.
Merlin swallowed hard, heart racing as Arthur stared into him...this man who had seen every part of him besides the part that made him what he truly was. "I don't know Arthur." He said, because he didn't know, not exactly, why it had chosen him.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" He asked lowly, and Merlin had never felt more terrified than at that tone. "Do you think I don't see the things that happen when you get upset...when you get aroused?" He asked. "Do you think I've never noticed all the times you've saved me? Do you think there's even a part of me that doesn't notice every last thing about you?" He finished with, not letting go of Merlin's wrists, not allowing him to flee as he dropped that on him.
"How long have you known?" Merlin asked, heart pounding against his chest. If Arthur had known...if he hadn't said anything, would he still?"
"Since you just told me." Arthur told him. "But I've had my suspicions for a while." He said, voice clipped. "Don't look like such a frightened bird Merlin, I didn't turn you in for mangling a girl's body, I'm not going to turn you in for this." He exhaled, as if the weight of this secret was pressed to his chest. "It'd be so much easier if I had fallen for someone else...if I could want anyone else, but then there's you." He said, frustrated. "There's always you." They were both drunk, but Merlin felt sober. He felt terrified.
"Arthur…" He tried, but had no words. "I'm sorry." Because he had disappointed his Prince...just for being what he was.
"I am too." Arthur told him. "I have a confession of my own. I had wanted this night to be special before I told you, but alas, we can't seem to stop from fighting, can we?" He asked almost sadly. "Even when we're not."
"What is it?" Merlin asked, still overwhelmed with what had just happened. Arthur had been hinting at this all day….even if he wouldn't tell him….even if it had taken these revelations to admit this.
"My Father is having me stop at Mercia." He told Merlin. "I'm to meet the Princess there." He whispered, and Merlin knew what he was about to say before the words ever let his mouth. "We're betrothed Merlin…" He said, and Merlin's eyes flashed gold before every single glass in the room shattered into tiny pieces.
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