Chapter Eight: The Greatest Wizard of Our Age
Harry was in total shock. Of all the people he expected to see come out from behind Dumbledore's desk Dudley was in the bottom 3, eclipsed only by Voldemort, who was dead, and Sirius Black, who was in wizard prison. Dudley had on a grin that Harry had never seen before on his face, rather than the sinister pig-like expression that Dudley normally wore while violently attacking children, this one was calm and intelligent. He wore this new expression like a wealthy pureblood wore dragon skin while her shoes were encased in centaur hooves and Snitch gold embossed her eyelashes.
Hermione was impressed by Dudley as he strode out from behind the desk, his glistening black robes clinging tightly to his muscular frame; a seventeen inch wand was gripped in hand, its black wood sucking in the light around it like the exact opposite of a lantern or a Lumos spell.
"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed.
"Is that any way to treat your favorite cousin?" Dudley responded, grin growing wider.
"You are not my favorite cousin!" Harry said angrily. "If anything you are my least favorite cousin!"
"But I am your only cousin," Dudley said, confused at Harry's angry tone.
"I stand by what I said, least favorite cousin," Harry said icily.
"Dudley is here because of me," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling madly. "You see, he is also a wizard and has been sorted into Gryffindor."
"What?" Hermione asked inquisitively. "How is that possible? Everyone knows that two Muggles cannot give birth to one of magical talent!"
"That is what makes Dudley here so special," Dumbledore said, grinning widely as he clapped his hand on Dudley's shoulder. "Not only is he a wizard, but he's also the most powerful wizard I ever met, outside of me and Voldemort and since he is in Gryffindor he will be our greatest weapon!"
"Thank you Professor, but really I just want an opportunity to learn with everyone here, in this prestigious school of magic," Dudley said, grinning slightly.
"Of course," Dumbledore said, smiling indulgently at his favorite student. "Fifty points to Gryffindor."
"I would also like to give him seventy points for being so brave and overcoming his Muggle heritage!" Mcgonagall said rapturously.
Dudley merely grinned wider and raised his hands high, as if politely pleading for the praise to stop.
"Now toddle along," Dumbledore said to the four students. "Dinner is happening soon, and if you don't go to the Great Hall now, there will be no food left. At all."
"Oh no!" Ron said, horrified. "We have to get going!"
"Yes," Hermione said, struggling to turn her attention away from Dudley.
The four left and went down to the Great Hall, Dudley leading the way, his powerful, confident stride making it difficult for the others to follow. The whole way down Harry glared at the back of Dudley's back, as if determined to burn a hole through it and into Dudley's shriveled black heart and the rest of his organs too. Well, maybe not the pancreas. Harry doubted that that organ had much to do with Dudley being a jerk.
When they arrived in the Great Hall the students in the process of eating breakfast stopped eating breakfast to stare at the four students stride gloriously into the hall. The Gryffindors cheered as soon as they saw Dudley's robes, a cheer which only grew louder as they noticed the three students behind him were also Gryffindors. The cheering prompted a sneer of distaste from Snape who quietly removed 50 points from Gryffindor for being disruptive.
The Ravenclaws eyed Dudley suspiciously while the Hufflepuffs merely looked confused. The Slytherins smirked and schemed, preparing the clever and witty insults they would soon be slinging at the Light's newest and greatest champion.
Percy Weasley quickly scooched over, allowing Dudley to take a seat. No one moved for the other three so they had a more challenging time finding a seat, although they eventually all managed to squeeze in around Dudley, where Harry immediately started to surreptitiously stare at Dudley so intensely that the dragon haunch he was chewing on bumped into his neighbors faces several times. Dudley merely grinned, and with skillful use of the magical fork and knife, ate his food so magnificently that several of the girls felt faint. Even Pansy Parkinson started to blush, and she couldn't even see Dudley over the rapidly reddening Millicent Bulstrode.
Eventually Draco could not take it anymore and leapt to his feet, his two ape-like minions getting up as well, knocking aside various bits of food onto some Hufflepuffs that they had been beating under the table. Furiously, at least in Draco's case, the three stomped towards Dudley.
While the Gryffindors ate and basked in the glory of their new hero, the three Slytherins snuck up behind Dudley and with a whispered "Caecus" a bolt of gray magic shot out of Draco's wand and towards Dudley's back. Before the spell even got close, a Protego shield appeared behind Dudley and reflected the spell into Crabbe. Blinded and confused he hurled his massive meaty arm around, plowing into Draco's head and severely injuring his face. Vincent attempted to defend himself, but Goyle's blinded hand strike caught him in the gut. Soon all three were in a pile on the ground, spells and punches flying everywhere, to the amusement of everyone.
Except for one person. Dudley merely smiled thinly, not even turning to see his handiwork and Harry frowned, suspicious of Dudley's mysterious motives. Snarling, Snape billowed down from the staff table, like a dark storm cloud furrows over a massive city, shooting out bolts of lightning that are not only horribly accurate but also have the side effect of taking points away. With a mighty shout of Finite Incantatem the spells vanished and the Slytherins shakily clambered to their tiny feet.
"Five points to Slytherin for attempting to show up the Gryffindors!" Snape hissed, the low amount of points he awarded showing how furious he was. With a huff he turned away and retreated into the dungeons, followed closely by most of the Slytherins. As soon as they left, everyone clapped and cheered for Dudley, and Dumbledore grinned wider than he had ever had ever grinned ever before ever.
Dudley merely finished his meal and with a charismatic grin, led his Gryffindors down to the dungeons, so that they may take their Potions class. However, they didn't get far before Malfoy stopped just before they entered the classroom, the effects of Dudley's amazing curse having been just barely dispelled by Snape. Gregory and Goyle were still being cured by Madam Pomfrey, after Snape had disgustedly finished awarding them points that even he admitted were on shaky grounds.
Malfoy's eyes gleamed like that of a shark once it spots a fish that it thinks it can eat. Little did this shark know was that the fish it thought it saw was really just the fish-shaped fin of a larger carnivore that was merely luring Malfoy in to eat him.
"Well, well Mudblood," Malfoy hissed, drawing a gasp of surprised shock from Hermione. "I can't believe Dumbledore let one like you here in this most esteemed Hog of Warts!"
Dudley merely narrowed his eyes, before quickly and efficiently cutting Malfoy down.
"You have no right to talk to me about my parentage. Your father was a Death Eater, and you have old person hair."
Draco drew back as if struck. "My father never ate death! Curse you Dudley!"
With that last scream Malfoy dashed into the Potions classroom, followed closely by the Gryffindors. As soon as they were inside, Snape took several points off for being late, although as they could all see on the clock on the wall, they were still several minutes early, a fact that Dudley quickly pointed out.
"You're being unreasonable! We're early!"
"So, Dudley Dursley," Snape snarled. "You think that just because you are the Headmaster's chosen one you have the right to question my teaching methods?!"
"You fool!" Dudley said, his deep voice easily overpowering Snape's low whisper. "Our punctuality has nothing to do with your teaching! You hate children!"
"I do not!" Snape said frantically. "I think children are great! Detention and more points taken away for questioning me!"
"I have an idea," Dudley said, to Harry's chagrin. "What if I made the most difficult potion ever and if I did it right, I get points and no detention? If I fail, I will join the Slytherin House!"
"Deal!" Snape said with a snake-like grin, shaking Dudley's massive muscular hand.
"Professor?" Blaise Zabini said, "I don't think this is a good-"
"Silence!" Snape said. "I know what I am doing!"
Despite the fact that there was an actual potion they were supposed to be making, everyone watched breathlessly as Dudley made the Diffitus potion, the most difficult potion ever. It had no actual effects on anything and looked just like water. The only actual way to tell if it was brewed properly is if nothing happened. If done wrong, it could explode with the force of ten magical bombs!
Interestingly enough this was the one class period that the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's didn't develop a huge point disparity, mostly because Snape was too busy watching Dudley brew with bated breath.
In the end though, as Snape feared, Dudley brewed it perfectly, and in half the time they thought possible. Disgusted and distraught, Snape dispatched them all, declaring that detentions would be served, although for now class was done.
As soon as they left the Great Hall, Dudley turned to Harry. "That's enough Harry. I think I've proved myself. Why do you still so irrationally hate me?"
"Yeah!" Hermione said, irritated for Dudley's sake. Harry looked at them in surprise, his glare of resentment fading as even Ron looked at Harry with disappointment.
"He helped abused me! Don't you remember?!"
"That's old news Harry," Fred said.
"Get over it mate," George agreed.
"No," Dudley said placatingly, raising his glorious wand. "Harry deserves to know the truth. You see, Harry…I too was abused as a child!"