"What did I ever do to you?"

Harry couldn't speak as he stared at Cedric Diggory, the older boy standing at the end of his bed, wearing his Triwizard Tournament uniform and covered in dirt and blood.

"I thought… I thought we were friends, Harry," Cedric continued slowly, grey eyes staring into Harry's emerald green eyes, looking straight through to his soul. "You killed me, we were friends and you killed me".

"No," Harry wanted to say, "I didn't want this. I didn't kill you". But his throat was closed, his voice unresponsive, and Cedric continued glaring hatefully.

"I'm dead because of you. It's all your fault," Cedric hissed darkly, despite Harry trying to shake his unmoving head. "Murderer".

Shutting his eyes, Harry begged himself to wake up, knowing it was all just a terrible, terrible dream. Cedric would never blame Harry for his death, he had to know there was no way that Harry had known what would have happened.

"Pup".

If Harry could speak he would have whimpered, his eyes opening before he could stop them to see Sirius standing in Cedric's place, a scowl fixed on his once handsome face.

"You're not actually dead Padfoot," Harry groaned out, "Stop trying to haunt me when you're not dead".

"I know I'm not dead," Sirius agreed hesitantly, a confused look on his face as Harry closed his eyes again and tried to will himself awake again.

"Then why are you here?" Harry muttered, throwing his arm over his eyes, a mass of dread and pain building up in his chest as he waited for Sirius to start accusing him of killing him (Despite Harry knowing that he was actually still alive).

"Harry, wake up," Sirius ordered, shoving at his shoulder and making his eyes snap open again. "You were having a bad dream," Sirius continued as Harry whimpered at what could only be a horde of hippogriff rampaging through his brain, "And the hangover isn't helping one bit, I'd imagine".

Before Harry could begin to prepare himself to beg for a hangover potion, Sirius had lifted a camera from out of view and, with a loud cry of "Cheese!" took a picture.

Wincing at the sound of Sirius cackling as he ran from the room, Harry rubbed at his eyes in an effort to clear them of the imprint the camera's flash made, leaning back instinctively into the cool body behind him. Damn Sirius, when Harry caught up with him, he was going to neuter the ex-prisoner. After of course, he found his clothes and got a hangover potion, since the last thing he wanted was to be chasing after Sirius both hung-over and naked.

Reaching out for his glasses and almost knocking them off the bedside table, Harry slid them on and froze as a groan sounded behind him, an arm circling his waist as a body was pressed against his back.

A naked body…

A naked male body…

Slowly glancing over his shoulder at his bedmate, Harry's stomach twisted painfully at the sight of the muscular chest and blond hair, the stupid part of his mind saying that he needed to kill Sirius before pictures of this could get out. And speaking of getting out, Harry slowly started to slide out of the bed, lifting the Blond's arm off his waist and flinching as his name fell from the sleeping man's lips.

Trying to keep himself from freaking out and waking the man, Harry looked around for his clothes, refusing to look at the bed as he gave up on his boxers and slid straight into the jeans Sirius had given him for Christmas. He had good news though, he didn't hurt, his uh… his ass… he means. Which meant that they - probably - hadn't had… done anything with each other. Which was good, because Harry wasn't gay, it wasn't his fault that everyone found Cedric Diggory attractive. It didn't mean he was - whoa… looking down at his own stomach, Harry tried to convince himself that jealousy was all he felt as he stared at the Blond's abdomen.

Just then, the Blond rolled over, thankfully covering his stomach, but unfortunately revealing something ten times worse.

In the small of the Blond's back, written in rough lettering, was "Harry's" with a large black paw print on the Blond's right butt cheek. Almost instantly dread filled him, and Harry unbuttoned his jeans again and tugged them down, twisting around until he could see the "Bobby's", with a snowflake on his own ass.

Oh dear Merlin… why did he have to get the snowflake?

Snapping himself out of it as he realised what he had just thought, Harry snatched up his shirt and pulled it on, buttoning his pants up again as he made a run for the door. Barely stopping himself from slamming the door behind him, Harry turned around to see Remus standing in front of the table, in a room that was clearly not the one that they'd checked into.

"Remus!" he exclaimed before he could stop himself, "There's a naked man in my-" this was when Harry finally noticed the half a dozen other people sitting at the table staring at him "-bed" he finished weakly.

"HARRY AND BOBBY SITTING IN A TREE!" Sirius' voice echoed from somewhere in the hotel room, "S-E-XING-I-N- Wait how do you spell it again?"

"Sirius!" Remus scolded quickly, rushing around the table to grab Harry's elbow and lead the pale boy to a seat at the magically expanded table. "You and Bobby didn't have sex, Harry," the werewolf assured him quickly, "You went to bed fully clothed and fell asleep. Sirius banished your clothing this morning, under the mistaken impression that it'd be ten times funnier for you to wake up to a naked boy," he explained as he handed Harry a hangover potion that he didn't hesitate to scull.

Not believing Remus at first (He was a Marauder as well, after all), it was only the nodding of the red-haired woman and the brown-haired man sitting beside him that made him relax slightly.

"Call me Jean," the redhead introduced holding her hand out and making Harry shake it instinctively, "And this is my fiance, Scott".

"Harry, Harry Potter," he replied politely, faltering at the smirk that flashed across 'Scott's' face, his eyes flicking to the other three people at the table to find two of them hiding their own smirks and the bigger hairier one grinning openly at him.

"You sure about that kid?" the hairy man asked innocently, "You really sure about that?"

"Logan!" Jean snapped, sending 'Logan' a Mrs Weasley-worthy glare that scared the big man into submission.

"Hey Harry," the petite brown-haired girl greeted happily, "I'm Kitty, and this is Peter. We're Bobby's friends," she continued, making Harry's ears, cheeks, and neck burn darkly, which only made her grin at him. "I'm also the Best Woman," she added quickly as Jean said her name warningly, "And one of the wedding planners".

"Wedding planners? Is someone getting married?" Harry asked slowly, still not entirely sure why they were all here together.

"Oh yes, my little pup," Sirius declared as he popped up from where he had been hiding behind a bench counter, bouncing across the room to pull Remus into a hug, tipping him back as if they were dancing. "It was beautiful! Remus got down on bended knee to pick up someone else's ring. Then he held it out to me," he continued, dropping Remus as a frown crossed his face, "You didn't even ask, you just shoved it into my hand," he exclaimed sadly as he stared down at the winded Remus.

"We're not getting married!" Remus called from the floor.

"You're right, it's too late for that," Sirius agreed as Harry just watched his Uncle's with a dropped jaw. "The four of us got married last night," he informed Harry seriously, "By Elvis".

"You two got married?" Harry asked slowly, trying his hardest to keep his face and voice clear of all laughter.

"We were drunk," Remus defended as he stood up, smoothing down his shirt, "It seemed like a good idea at the time. He made his huge argument about how you needed stable parental figures. Drunk me was very convinced," he explained sheepishly, refusing to meet Harry's eyes.

"Yeah. Especially when he found out that you had already gotten married," Sirius piped up as he frowned down at the ring on his finger, "He was bawling his eyes out about how he'd failed you, then he insisted that we got married as well, just to show you support".

Harry stared at his Uncles for a moment longer before bursting into laughter, clutching at his sides as he almost fell out of his seat. "You're married?" he gasped out, "That's brilliant! I thought getting a tattoo was bad!"

"Well actually Harry," Remus began nervously.

"You got a tattoo?" Sirius interrupted excitedly, "Where? When? What? Who?"

"You got a tattoo?" Logan repeated, blinking at Harry in confusion, "I don't remember that".

"Who cares?" Sirius dismissed, grinning at him from across the table, "Where is it? What is it?"

When Harry only blushed at his Godfather's questions, it caused the dog animagus to let out a howl of laughter, Logan and Scott beginning to snigger as well only for Jean to clear her throat.

"I don't see why this is so funny," she ground out angrily, "Marriage is a lifelong commitment. And tattoos are just as bad!"

"Two words Red. Divorce, and Laser Removal," Logan grunted bluntly.

"That's three words," Scott corrected helpfully as Jean growled at him.

"Marriage, is a lifelong commitment," Jean repeated slowly, "And these two boys have had their entire lives ruined because you thought it'd be funny to take them to Vegas and get them drunk!"

Wait… two boys?

"You've heard Black's explanation," Logan spat, "The kid's gone through more than you and Goggles put together. If anyone deserves a chance to relax and have some fun, then it's him. And you know what the others have been through. Sinister didn't pull his punches, so you can't tell me that Bobby didn't need to relax and have some fun either".

Raising his hand, Harry blinked slowly at the two gold and silver bands entwined into a singular ring resting innocently on his finger, his mouth opening and closing silently.

"But they got married Logan! That's not relaxing and having some fun!" Jean shouted angrily, knocking her chair back as she stood up.

"You don't think I know that!" Logan yelled back, "I fucked up! I get that! I made a mistake!"

"A mistake?" Jean growled out.

"Jean!" Remus' voice interrupted, "Screaming at Logan isn't going to fix anything".

"I'm married?" Harry blurted, looking up at his Uncles desperately, hoping - no begging that they'd yell out 'Surprise' and that it'd all been some kind of weird prank. "The first time I ever get drunk, and I'm being married in Vegas, by Elvis?"

"Sucks to be you," a tired voice said from behind him, Harry jumping as the Blond, Bobby, collapsed into the chair beside him with a groan. "What happened last night?" he asked as he held a hand to his own forehead, a thin coat of ice spreading out from his fingers.

"How… how did you that?" Harry exhaled slowly, staring at the ice in shock and admittedly a little awe.

"We're Mutants, Harry," Kitty said excitedly, looking between him and Bobby with an expectant expression. "Bobby's a cryokinetic. He controls ice," she explained, as the Ministry of Magic's opinion on the 'Mutant Hoax' flashed through Harry's mind. Well, at least he knew that the Ministry was lying once more, although with their track record he should have expected it.

"Here kid," Remus said softly, handing Bobby his own hangover potion that the boy - for that's all he was, a teenager who barely looked any older than Harry himself - didn't hesitate to scull down after a whispered promise it'd help.

"Remus. Can we talk?" Harry blurted, standing and grabbing his Uncle by the throat of his shirt, dragging him back into 'his' bedroom.

"Harry," Remus began quietly, "I…"

"I'm married?" Harry asked weakly, knowing his Uncle wouldn't make jokes about this. "To him? To Bobby? Like, we actually got married, and I have a tattoo on my ass with his name on it. And I'm sixteen, I can't be married, not to a mutant, not to a guy".

"I'm so sorry cub," Remus whispered pathetically, looking like he wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and die from the guilt Harry could see swimming in his eyes. "I shouldn't have listened to Sirius when he said he wanted to come here. I should have argued more in favour of Disney World, like Sirius' first suggestion was. This is all my fault, I should have stayed sober, so I could watch you two. But I screwed up, and, I'm just so sorry," he finished, his eyes tearing up as the sickly werewolf just crumbled before Harry who didn't hesitate to pull him into a hug.

A loud thunk echoed through the room as something slammed into the door, making them both jump in fright as the door was thrown open by a pale horrified Bobby.

As Bobby crossed the room, Harry stepped away from Remus, allowing the blond to grab his hand and pull it up to his face. Letting out a quiet whimper as he compared his ring to Harry's, Bobby looked up at him with a lost expression. "We're married," he said dumbly, looking between their rings and Harry's face, "We're married. Both of us. To each other".

When Harry just nodded silently, Bobby glanced to the side, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly a couple of times before he finally worked up the courage to say "I have a tattoo on my arse with your name on it".

Blinking at the blond for a couple of seconds, it was all Harry could do to keep his knees from collapsing as he burst into laughter. Leaning against Bobby as his husband fell against him, beginning to laugh hysterically as well, Harry wondered just how his life could get any worse right now.

And then it hit him, he'd have to tell Hermione…

VEGAS VACATION

Inspired by Blood Brandy's Vegas Vacation challenge.

Okay, so before anyone yells at me for this, I feel like I need to point the finger at the man who made me do this.

If you want to maim someone, it's Compbrain1720 who you should take it out on. I asked him for a challenge, and he gave me this one. Yes, it's my fault that it turned out the way it did. But I'm still blaming him for giving me the challenge in the first place.

I don't own Harry Potter or X-Men.