Recommendation: This chapter's recommended fic is "The Ties that Bind" by ExcalibursZone. One of the first fics I ever favorited, it's absolutely heartbreaking in places, but well worth reading. Harry and Hermione have been keeping a secret from their daughter, Erin, and it's time to tell her the truth about her past. There's a companion one-shot, "Erin's First Christmas," that's even more heartbreaking than the main story — but again, it's worth reading as well (after the main story!).

Chapter 18 - Running Up That Hill

Wednesday, December 30, 1994, Late Morning.

Sitting down in the commandeered classroom, Jasmine regarded her three friends as they sat facing her. This was a conversation they were supposed to have had yesterday until events (and firewhiskey) had gotten out of control, obliging them to postpone it. Now that it didn't look like she and Neville would be forced into marriage (thank Merlin!), they could all focus on other issues — like Jasmine's apparent surge in power.

"Well," Jasmine said slowly, hoping for some way to delay things, but a distinct narrowing of Hermione's eyes nipped that plan in the bud. How does she always see through me? A sudden smirk on Hermione's face told Jasmine that she still knew what she was thinking.

Sighing, Jasmine tried again. "Look, I know you lot are expecting me to reveal some big secret I've been keeping from you, but I really have no idea what's going on. During a few of my classes over the final week or two of last term, I felt like my casting power had increased. I wasn't absolutely certain, though, because I didn't have a lot of examples to go on. And then I got really distracted by other things, so I didn't follow up outside of class. I'm guessing that this... whatever this is... is related. Or maybe even the same thing."

Everyone just looked at each other in confusion — they had indeed expected more. "Sorry, but that's all I've got. I really don't know much more than you at this point."

Frowning, Hermione asked, "Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Jasmine cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "That I had some vague impression that my spells were easier to cast?" She stopped and struggled to regain control. "I'm sorry, but it's not like I was actively trying to hide anything. I agree that something is clearly going on now, but it wasn't so obvious a few weeks ago." And why does my damned temper keep blowing up at the slightest provocation? she thought in frustration.

"Look," Neville broke in, trying to forestall further argument, "it could be that this is nothing more than a natural increase in power, maybe combined with some accidental magic fueled by extreme emotions. Most of us have at least some power growth as we grow up. I've never heard of anything that sudden, or that much of a change, but maybe you've been holding back without knowing it. Or maybe the anger is causing the growth to happen suddenly. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be a problem so long as Jasmine doesn't fly into a rage, right?"

Everyone had to agree to that, much to Jasmine's relief. She didn't like the idea of being studied.

"Fine, then I say, let's all just keep our eyes open — that means keeping an eye on Jasmine and watching her carefully."

Great, Jasmine thought as she rolled her eyes, so much for not being studied.

"This means you, too, Jasmine," Neville added firmly. "All of us, you included, need to watch for any oddities or differences in your magic. If there is a problem, we need to catch it sooner rather than later." Everyone agreed, even Jasmine, albeit reluctantly.

Thus ended one of their shortest meetings ever in this room, something for which Jasmine was very thankful. She hated being the center of attention like that, even when it was for her own good — and she couldn't deny that whatever was going on with her, it would probably be a good idea to find out what it was.

Fingering the letter in her pocket, she resolved to make time to read it that afternoon.

Wednesday, December 30, 1994, Early Afternoon.

Sitting in her bed with the curtains drawn, Jasmine finally had the time to read the response sent to her by the Grangers. Hedwig had found her yesterday evening in the dorm when the others were asleep. Such a clever familiar, she had waited all day until Jasmine was alone before making delivery. Such a cheeky familiar, too, and clearly sharing Hermione's views on hangovers, given the way she had pecked her mistress on the side of the head, exacerbating her headache.

Opening the letter, she started to read:

"Dear Miss Potter," Well, that's a bit formal, isn't it? Not feeling too optimistic here...

"My husband and I were delighted to receive your letter, the first we've ever received from one of Hermione's friends — her first and best friend at that!" OK, friendly, and it seems that they know me.

"We are very glad to hear that you enjoyed the gift. Deciding to send you something was quite easy, given how important you've become to our daughter over the years. We honestly should have thought to send one before now, and we're sorry that we didn't. We hoped that by sending you something personal and filled with good memories of our Hermione, we could make up for our oversight. Based on what she's told us, she's important to you just like she is to us, and you didn't have anything that told you about her life before Hogwarts."

These sound like very nice people, Jasmine mused. How did Hermione become distant from them?

"We only wish that we knew more about her life during Hogwarts. Oh, she tells us things in letters, and lots about you in particular, but we can't help but feel that she's leaving out a lot, too. Her letters tend to sound rather impersonal, except where you're mentioned. There are generalities about classes and teachers, but little about the actual class work and almost nothing about what she's feeling or thinking."

Now I'm starting to get a better picture of what's going on, Jasmine realized. They've noticed what sorts of things she's been leaving out of her letters and they definitely care. They certainly aren't acting like neglectful parents now. If they don't know what to ask or how to ask for more, maybe that's caused her to think that they don't care after all?

"If it's not asking too much, do you think you might write to us occasionally and tell us about our daughter? We feel sure that you probably know her better than anyone else in the school. Sometimes, her letters make it seem like there isn't anyone else at the school but the two of you and the teachers. My husband and I are hopeful that you can help us learn about the things we are missing, so we can better connect with her while she's here."

That just sounds sad! There's definitely some misunderstandings and miscommunication going on here. I can use this, I think. I just have to figure out how to proceed...

Wednesday, December 30, 1994, Early Evening.

Once again in the commandeered room on the seventh floor, Jasmine looked around at the scattered tables and chairs and wondered how she was going to be able to use this. The task just seemed so huge, and she had no idea where to even start. Eventually, she resigned herself to the solution she'd figured she'd have to use, but had hoped she wouldn't. She really wanted to be able to say that she had done this herself.

"Dobby!" she called. The excitable house elf popped in beside her, eagerly awaiting a new job from his mistress. "Hi, Dobby. I have a problem. I want to have a fancy, romantic dinner with Hermione tomorrow night for New Year's Eve. I figured that I could use this room, but I need to remove enough stuff to set up a dining area that's romantic, get the food here, then later change it all back. I'm not sure what to do or even if it can all be done, so I called you. Can you help?"

"Yes, Dobby can do!" Stepping forward, Dobby raised his hand to snap his fingers and… stopped. He just stood there, looking around for a few moments without doing anything. Jasmine wondered what the problem was, but before she could ask, Dobby turned around and said, "Maybe Missy Jazzy can use Come and Go room instead?"

"Uh, what's that?"

"Come and Go room be known to Hoggywarty elves. Room comes when needed, goes when not needed. Room is being anything you wish!"

"That… sounds very interesting, Dobby. It's worth a look. Where is it?"

Bouncing eagerly now that he had a solution, Dobby said, "Here on seventh floor! Follow Dobby!" And so she did, around several corners until they came upon a tapestry of a weird wizard trying to teach trolls to dance. When they stopped, Dobby explained, "You is needing to be walking back and forth here three times, thinking about what you be wanting. Then open door."

A bit skeptical at instructions like that, Jasmine did what she was told. Back and forth she walked, thinking hard about having a room for a romantic evening. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a door appear in the wall! A bit surprised that it had actually worked, she opened the door and gaped in awe at the sight before her. It was a cozy little room with an intimate dining table, a fireplace, a bearskin rug in front of it... and a large, luxurious bed.

Stepping into the room fully, she said half to herself, "I probably don't need the bed." Instantly, the bed disappeared. "Dobby," she called out, "what happened to the bed?"

Stepping in behind her, Dobby looked around and asked, "Did you not be wanting bed?"

"No," Jasmine answered. "It was here as part of a romantic room, then I said to myself that I probably didn't need it. Suddenly it was… Oh! I get it. The room will actively change based on what I want. So if I change my mind and want the bed..." Silently, the bed reappeared where it had been before.

"This is great, Dobby!" she exclaimed, and the elf beamed with the praise. "Will food just appear, too?"

"No, Missy Jazzy. Room cannot create food. But Dobby can bring! Dobby can serve!"

Smiling, Jasmine thanked the excited elf. "That would be great, Dobby. Don't tell Hermione about this, it'll be a surprise. Here's what I'd like to have..." Working together, she and Dobby came up with a menu for a classy, romantic meal prepared especially by Dobby for his mistresses. Once he left, she spent some more time in the room, experimenting to see what sorts of options existed for "romantic evening."

Some of those options were a bit… advanced, as far as she was concerned. She still wasn't sure what she thought about such things or if she'd ever be ready for any of it. She didn't want to disappoint Hermione, but she hoped that such decisions could be put off for a long, long time. Shuddering a little at some painful memories, she tried to put all of that out of her mind so she could concentrate on what was important: her coming date with Hermione.

Down in the Hogwarts kitchens, in a darkened corner sat two house elves deep in conversation. Although they did a lot of work for Hogwarts, the other elves knew that they technically weren't Hogwarts elves — they had bonded with two students who wanted those two elves to continue working there. Since Hogwarts didn't technically have any authority over them, they couldn't be chastised when they ignored work that needed to be done.

This didn't happen too often because they were good elves who loved work, but they always put the interests of their mistresses first — and right now, that was the topic of their heated discussion.

"Dobby, this be important night for mistresses. You must be doing a good job!" the female elf said in a stern whisper.

"Dobby knows!" the male elf replied. "Dobby be serving only the best Hoggywarty food!"

"No, Dobby!" cried the female elf, bonking him on his noggin with her fist. "Hoggywarty food be good enough for students, but this be special occasion! We must be getting better food. Winky be getting the food because Dobby can't be trusted."

Dobby looked very sad at hearing this, then remembered something important. "Winky, mistresses be dressing nice for special occasion, yes?"

Winky nodded her head, suspicion etched into her face.

"Should we be getting better clothes for them?" Dobby asked.

Winky thought about that for a few moments before saying, "You be having good idea Dobby, but there is not being enough time. Winky is making sure Missy Hermy's clothes are ready and Dobby is doing the same for Missy Jazzy."

Dobby nodded, glad to finally have a way to help.

Thursday, December 31, 1994, Early Evening.

Hermione Granger was quite annoyed: Jasmine had been missing since shortly after breakfast. She had hoped to spend a little quality time with the auburn-haired witch tonight to celebrate New Year's Eve, but that wasn't going to be possible if she couldn't locate her and actually make some arrangements. She went up into their dorm once again and there was no sign of her, just like the last time she checked.

One thing that was new, however, was a letter and a package that seemed to appear from out of nowhere on her bed. Picking up the letter, she found that it was from Jasmine. Finally! It instructed Hermione to put on the clothes in the package, cover up with a robe, then meet her at 8PM in a room in the 7th floor corridor across from the Dancing Troll Tapestry. Frowning in thought, she tried to remember what room Jasmine meant and realized that she didn't recall any rooms being around there at all; but she decided to set that question aside for now.

Looking in the package, she found that it was an outfit she had picked up that day they had gone dress shopping in Hogsmeade, though the clothes seemed to look a little nicer than she remembered. Very curious now about what Jasmine had in mind, she looked at her watch and saw that she needed to get changed soon in order to make her unexpected appointment.

Upon reaching the correct corridor on the seventh floor, she recognized where she was and was certain that there wasn't a door where Jasmine said to look… yet there it was! Hermione was sure that she had never seen a door there before. Since it was already ajar, however, she slowly opened it and was amazed at what she saw.

Clearly, this was a room set up to provide for a romantic evening of dinner and dancing. There was a small table for eating and a small dance floor perfect for one couple (complete with mirror ball above); a clock on the wall was counting down to midnight. Over on the other side of the room was a plush love seat in front of a roaring fire. "Wow," Hermione said to herself softly as she looked around, taking everything in.

Hearing a throat clearing behind her, she realized that she had walked most of the way into the room without noticing. Turning around, she saw Jasmine standing there, wearing an especially gorgeous outfit that she remembered her girlfriend buying at Gossypamer & Organza's. It, too, seemed a little nicer than she remembered, but that might have simply been a trick of the light. Or maybe it was the person wearing it.

"Wow," she said, a bit louder and more firmly this time.

Jasmine smiled broadly and observed, "Thanks, but you're still looking a bit frumpy for the evening."

"What? Oh!" With a bit of a flourish, Hermione removed her outer robe, twirling in place to display the results. "Better?"

"Much," Jasmine replied with obvious appreciation.

"Did you go digging through my clothes to find all of this?" Hermione asked with a hint of a smile on her face.

"Nope, didn't need to," her green-eyed girlfriend answered. "I just asked Winky for help. You told her she could take orders from me, but I didn't even need to do that much. I simply explained what I had in mind and said that I wanted you to have a nice outfit ready to go. Winky did the rest."

"Smart elf, isn't she?"

"Oh, absolutely. Ready for some dinner?" At Hermione's enthusiastic agreement, Jasmine led her to the table where she held out her chair for her before sitting herself. Clapping her hands twice called Dobby to their side, where he proceeded to serve them a starter course. Over the next two hours, they ate a leisurely meal and enjoyed each other's company.

When they were done, music came out of nowhere and the mirror ball started to spin, casting spots of light all around the room. This time, Hermione took charge by holding out her hand and asking Jasmine if she'd like to dance. For the next hour or more the two of them danced to one slow, romantic song after another, sometimes using the dance steps they had learned, sometimes just holding each other close and swaying to the music.

Eventually they had to sit down, and after they were comfortable on the loveseat, Jasmine turned to Hermione to say, "As we're coming down to the end of the year, and even though it's not yet a full month since we became a couple, I was wondering if we could talk about our relationship."

Curious and a little apprehensive as to what she could mean, Hermione said, "Sure. What about it?"

"Well," Jasmine said, "I started out knowing that I preferred girls, but you... well, I know it came as a bit of a surprise, to say the least. So aside from everything else, you've been having that new reality to get used to. I was just wondering how you were doing. Are you feeling any better about things? Are you sure," she added more softly, "that you made the right decision to go ahead with this?"

Caught off-guard by the questions, Hermione stared into the fire for a long time, and Jasmine tried to squelch her sudden fear that she wouldn't like what was coming. Finally, Hermione looked up and said, "I think I can answer that, but I have to go back a bit. You know that when I was growing up I was teased by other kids. At the time I always thought it was because I was smarter than them and cared more about books and homework. Later I thought it was because of my know-it-all attitude. Most recently, I started suspecting that it was because I was a witch, and the kids around me could sense that there was something strange about me."

Jasmine nodded in understanding. She, too, had always had trouble with other kids. She always thought that it had been entirely due to Dudley driving them away from her, but in retrospect she wondered if perhaps there were other factors at work.

"When I was younger," Hermione continued, "I knew that there was something missing from my life — something important that was hidden or locked away. When I learned I was a witch and was introduced to the magical world, I assumed that I had found what was missing. It seemed to make sense: being magical but not knowing and growing up in the muggle world seemed to be the source of all my problems." Jasmine nodded again, having felt something similar upon learning that she was a witch.

"Unfortunately," Hermione went on, "that didn't turn out to be the case. Once I got to Hogwarts, I found that things didn't change all that much for me. I was still shunned and bullied by other kids. Even worse, I still felt that something was missing — magic may have started to enrich my life, but it didn't fill the hole in my life like I thought it would."

Hermione paused at this point and looked intently at Jasmine. "Then you saved me from the troll, and our friendship got started. Oh, we weren't instant friends, and it was a rocky start, I know. Looking back, I can see how my bossy behavior and mannerisms drove you spare. Yet, for some reason, you stuck by me. I was doing just about everything wrong in terms of being a good friend, but you didn't abandon me.

"And that hole in my life? It was only during the summer after our second year that I realized it had been disappearing. I hadn't noticed before, probably because life here at Hogwarts can be so stressful, what with all the dangers and adventures we face. It was only when I had a chance to relax during the holidays that I finally realized the truth, and the truth is this: you, Jasmine Potter, have filled that hole in my life. You did it through your friendship, your support, and your compassion. It's because of you that the hole is gone entirely now, and I no longer feel like anything is missing."

She reached out and took Jasmine's hand. "So to answer your question: I don't really know if I'd be out there dating boys or girls if given the chance, because I can no longer imagine myself being with anyone but you. I know we're still in the early stages of going beyond friendship, but you were already such an important part of my life that it doesn't feel like we're a new couple. Even before we kissed, I don't think I'd have been able to accept not having you in my life. Now, I know I can't — there's no Hermione without Jasmine. And whatever else happens, this," she said, raising their joined hands and squeezing tightly, "this is right."

Both witches were a little misty-eyed, but Jasmine much more so. Hermione hadn't said "I love you," but she had come closer than anyone else in her entire life that she knew of. She was sure that her parents must have told her many times, but she couldn't remember it, and that had always hurt. Knowing in the abstract that someone probably loved you in the past doesn't make up for never remembering love or hearing the words.

"What about you, Jasmine?" came a soft voice from beside her. Suddenly distracted from her reverie, Jasmine looked over at her girlfriend. "How are you handling things?" Hermione gently nudged, hoping that Jasmine's recent willingness to talk about her feelings would continue now.

Swallowing past a lump in her throat, Jasmine smiled and said lightly, "Oh, I'm just fine with girls."

Laughing, Hermione swatted her leg, then dabbed at her eyes a bit. "C'mon, I'm serious. How are you feeling about the way our relationship has changed?" She smiled, but Jasmine could hear the catch in her voice, as if pouring out her heart like that had made her even more vulnerable.

Jasmine took a deep breath. Turnabout was fair play, after all. "Well," she began, "I'm really not sure when my feelings for you started — feelings beyond friendship, I mean. I found you interesting when we first met on the train, and your repairing my glasses was not only impressive, but it made me feel good. No one had ever just helped me like that before. After that, though, I don't think I thought about you much — I was pretty overwhelmed with all the new things we were exposed to." Hermione nodded her head in agreement with that.

"In our first few weeks of school, you were... I'm sorry, but I guess you were a bit annoying at times. I don't think I was as annoyed as others seemed to be because I could understand the desire to impress teachers, even if the Dursleys had suppressed that in me by that time. After we dealt with the troll, though, you seemed to attach yourself to me and Ron..."

"Yeah," Hermione admitted with a bit of embarrassment. "I was just so impressed that I wanted to spend more time with you two. No one aside from my parents had ever defended me in any way remotely like that. I think I had a bit of hero worship of you before, based on what I had read in books; but after you saved me it became a lot more personal."

"I'm glad you made it personal," Jasmine responded with a smile. "I don't like it when people hero-worship The Girl Who Lived, but being respected for me as a person and for things that I've done makes a big difference. I think it made a big difference in our relationship, too. Also, I don't know how long it would have taken us to get to know each other if you hadn't been at least a little pushy — I'm not very outgoing and never learned how to make friends. I probably needed a bit of pushing."

"Glad I could help," Hermione said wryly.

"Anyway, somewhere along the line, my feelings started to change and move away from mere friendship. I think I first started to notice it when you were petrified and I kept visiting you."

Jasmine sat and thought for a few moments before continuing, "I guess your analogy of having a hole in your life works. I was always missing something, but for the longest time I didn't even realize it. Living with the Dursleys, I couldn't even think about that sort of thing. Hoping too much for a better future tended to make the present even worse. Once I met you, though, that hole started being filled, and my life started to mean something. It was only when you were missing that I started to understand what was happening to me."

Jasmine looked intently into Hermione's brown eyes at that point, saying, "One way or another, I knew for sure about you that night we rode Buckbeak at the end of our third year. That was easily the most romantic thing I'd ever done, and I dreamed about your arms wrapped around me from behind for all of last summer." Hermione's eyes widened at hearing this. "The only real affection and warmth I've ever known has come from you, Hermione, and it means the world to me. A few weeks ago, I risked our friendship to tell you the truth about how I felt. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, yet it's made me happier than I've ever been. I'm so thankful you were willing to take a chance and kiss me that day. "

With that declaration, a gong sounded to signal the dawning of the New Year. Already on an emotional high from listening to each other's confessions, the girls simply fell into each others arms to kiss.

Perhaps it was because of the heightened emotions, or perhaps it was simply the right moment, but this time when the glowing tendrils of light reached out from each witch, they finally made firm contact. Gradually they began to intertwine and blend, and where they had been blue and green before, they radiated a soft, pure white where they joined. Before the joining was complete, however, the kiss stopped and the glowing lights instantly winked out.

"Wow," the two witches said simultaneously, blinking from a flash of light which they both assumed came from the sparkling mirror ball.

In a run-down manor house in Little Hangleton, Peter Pettigrew spent New Year's Eve in much the same way he had spent Christmas evening: screaming in pain under the Cruciatus curse.

"AAAAHHHH! Wormtail, somehow this constant pain We are suffering is all your fault. Crucio!"

"S-s-s-s-sorry, Master. I-I-I don't kn-kn-know how..."

"Crucio!"

Nagini sat coiled in one corner, wondering if she'd ever be allowed to simply eat the rat man and be done with him. He didn't look very appetizing, but at least he'd last for a while as she digested him. At the rate her master was cursing him, he soon wouldn't have enough brains left to be good for anything but snake food.

She did wonder, though, why her master was in constant pain as well. Who was cursing him? And why did the power behind his commands to her seem to keep diminishing? Was it her, or was there something wrong with her master?

She didn't know the answers, but she decided to keep her own counsel and simply observe. For now.